This is my Hidey Hole

When you held eye contact,

I got scared.

I shut my lids,

Unable to bare the intensity.

The thoughts that flew through my mind.

I forced myself to stare back.

Thinking I could hold a blank look.

Commanding myself to feel nothing.

The weight of your body on mine.

Your hands tangled in my hair.

That eye contact brought me to.

It hit me harder than anything ever before.

It made me think.

It made my release.

You have me in your vice-like grip. 

You have me kneeling at your feet.

Because you create the rules.

And I follow.

There is something that you will come to understand

After handling me.

You’ll see...

The rules I follow

Are the ones I want to heed.

The things you do

Are things I allow.

You think you’re the dominant one here.

Go ahead, 

Take a bow.

I’ll clap for you in the front row.

Put on your show,

I’ll feed you your lines.

All in due time.

This submissive doesn’t listen very well.

You have me.

When you realize that I am your authority.

You had me seething. 

Rolling around in my sheets.

Wishing I wasn’t so naive.

You had me burning.

Filled with a rage that I didn’t know I possessed. 

Hoping I could move on without a hitch.

You had me feeling stupid.

Finding out information that was only new to me.

You had me crying.

Wondering why I actually cared.

You had me stressing.

Weighing out pros and cons of each approach.

You had me belligerent.

Ready to create a storm of myself that you have never seen.

I was ready to set fire to anything and everything I could get my hands on.

I was prepared to burn any and every bridge that led to you. 

Any path that could lead you back to me was going to be scorched.

And then I saw your face.

And then I heard your voice.

And then. I melted.

I became weak.

I finally understand.

I can finally comprehend how girls can stay with a man that doesn't see their worth.

I know my worth. 

But here I am, kneeling for you.