rude buster

all I do is collect bastards and empathize with them

The beatles and phone

computer throw a brick at this guy

Now, your resume says you spent seven years as a “sex wizard”

babe are you okay? you reblogged I’m Gonna Kiss You Stupid again

babe are you okay? you reblogged I’m Gonna Kiss You Stupid again

Breaking Bad would’ve been much better if Jesse had the Max Payne 1 face and Walter just floated around the whole time in t-pose

Bitch please. This happened 10 years ago. And honestly I am more worried about what Hillary has done than what Trump has said.

???????????!

did you know that you can increase the quality of your quesadilla by adding seasoning

did you know that you can decrease the quality of your quesadilla by making a tumblr post while it's cooking and burning it

How are my sweetie pees

what if it was called magic the slathering and it was about lotions and ointments

I was debating pre- and post- smartphone existentialism with an older gentleman today and he stopped part way through and said “Why are you a security guard? Why aren’t you teaching this at some college somewhere?” And I didn’t know what to say so I went with “Well I used to make art but nobody pays an artist”

I want to invoke thought and wonder and introspection and encourage the passions of every soul I meet forever and ever and dig until I find the glorious potential for creation and experience and joy in every single one but unfortunately I must pay rent and so I stand, a meat shield, an NPC with unlockable dialogue

#capitalism brain tells you that anyone interesting must fight to the top of their interest#and precludes the possibility of everyone everyone everyone already being interesting

are u gonna let me sit by ur feet and lean against ur leg or do u hateme

tomorrow is penis friday. remember to close your windows and don't try to get your mail

sick of these posts that are northern-hemisphere specific. half the planet doesn't have to worry about penis friday for another three weeks but every year we get a bunch of posts leading up to the first week of july and then nothing after that and SO MANY PEOPLE in the southern hemisphere get caught unaware because they don't even know there's a difference between the hemispheres

thank you for pointing this out, i should've said. also for anyone who isn't aware, which nut hangs lower is reversed in the different hemispheres