Miracle's Blog

“Midnight is the only time machine I had. thinking all the worst and the  happiest moments in my life, bringing back all the pain and happiness of my yesterday. Remembering what I used to be, It’s far for what I am to day. It’s sad, being dredge by your own manipulating loneliness. It’s like abandoning the most precious part of myself and recklessly turning my back just to depart from the agonies I possess.”

“I was star struck to the idea of giving that doesn’t only focus on material things. I was befuddle by the idea of someone who cares but doesn’t want to show up. I was being dumb for a purpose, I once was fragment and I’m terrified to jump down to the conclusion.”

“Debilitated for everything that’s keeping me lose my confidence. the melancholy I feel every time they mention how rubbish I can get. little did they know that it leaves a smudge on my heart and it might not be healed.”

Some of the poems I made based on my feelings. they are a lot actually but don’t wanna put it all here ‘cause it belongs to my on going book. :‘))

I write because it can express my feelings without being judge. I can decide whatever and whenever I wanted to write, just like in making decisions in life.

People nowadays decide based on their feelings without giving it a second thought that it might get them judge by others. yes, it shows braveness and a full courage act. but it doesn’t mean that if we act brave to a situation is already right. we must learn to control our feelings of bravery and the consideration of using it. because sometimes using too much emotions can lead to no where direction and misinterpretation. 

We can’t say the word “healed” if we are still stuck in the pain. we can’t say we are over it if there’s no mark of acceptance. And we can only gain acceptance by the means of courage.. we humans, has the only capacity or capability to do and to know what is wrong and what is right. we are the only specie that has a will to do what we want and only the rules and the laws is our notice to do everything in limit and it is same when we we’re in-love.. sometimes, when we are full to ourselves, that someone can’t leave us behind because they loves us is such an idiotic idea. we can’t always be complacent that everyone is willing to stay for a long span of time. people come and go, and we can’t please everyone to stay.

Every experience in love is actually one of the reasons why we became bolder and wiser, every rejections we gain is equal to the courage of acceptance. and when we are in the state of moving-on, it is our choice if we want to get through it or embrace the pain. and when we finally chose the “get through” state, that’s the time we list all the alternatives, alternatives for melancholy to be happiness. and if there’s one of those alternatives gives you that happiness you seek, I think you know what will you do.

It was a cold night, I hear my mama screaming as her tears fell down on my face. I hear everything is in chaos but all I can do is to listen.. I can’t wipe the tears that’s coming out of that precious eyes of yours, I just can’t, I can’t move.. and everything seems dark after that.

I woke up, wearing a light blue hospital gown, can’t hold back the tears of mine seeing my ate and mama’s swollen eyes that is tired of crying but still giving me a warm wide smile.

A day after that incident is also the day of realization that not everyone has the courage to give a genuine smile to others even if they are the ones who need it the most. that’s why on that day, I promise myself to continue serving the Lord and make my story as a testimony to inspire others and that I will never be afraid taking risks especially if it’s for the people I love.