mio ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁

i.

“y/n, wake up!” the deep slumber you were in felt as if it didn’t last very long due to the familiar voice of one of your best friends, taerae, shaking you awake.

you groaned, stirring around beneath your covers, swatting his hands away from you, “what, taerae? i was sleeping so good.”

“that’s not really important right now,” his voice was hushed, a hint of anxiety laced within his words. it was extremely unlike him, and within mere seconds you were opening your eyes and staring at him, sitting up from your cocoon, brows furrowed in concern, “what's wrong?” you asked, observing him as he began rummaging through your bags hanging on the back of your bedroom door.

he tossed your largest backpack at you, “we need to go, within the next few minutes, actually. pack only the essentials.”

“why?” you inquired, swinging your legs over the edge of the bed and touching your feet to the chilly hardwood floors. you were greeted with silence, trying to get your tired brain to catch up with taerae’s actions of grabbing some of your personal hygiene products and tossing them on the bed next to you. 

you become frustrated with the boy, snapping, “taerae, what is going on? you can't just barge in here and tell me to pack some of my shit and then not tell me why.”

he stopped dead in his tracks, shoulders tense and a sigh slipping past his lips. he turned to face you, the fear he was feeling clear on his expression now. you searched his face for anything that might be an indicator of what it was, but the words he uttered were something you never expected, “there was just a nationwide announcement broadcasted on the tv that said the most recent round of flu shots contained a nasty string of some virus in it and it's mutating in people’s genes,” he explained, “the people who got it are going crazy and freaking out on everyone around them. biting them, clawing at their skin, swallowing whatever bits of flesh they can get their hands on. it's complete madness. they want everyone to travel to some hospital a few hours north of here.”

you couldn't help the way your jaw fell slack at his gruesome words. people eating other people? there was no way this was happening. you were surely dreaming, or taerae was pulling your leg and taking it a little too far; it wouldn't be the first time he's done something like this during your time being friends with him. you shook your head, balling up one of your shirts and chucking it at him, “stop fucking with me, dude. i can't believe you woke me up for this.”

“i’m being dead serious, y/n,” the bewilderment in his eyes and the nervous bobbing of his adam’s apple was hard to miss, “ask hanbin if you're really that skeptical. you know he would never seriously joke about something like this.” he took your backpack from your hand and began shoving things inside of it, motioning for you to seek out hanbin and find out for yourself. 

you pushed past him and out into the hallway, feet padding gently against the floor into the living room where the television was quietly humming in the background. you focused your attention on that, snagging the remote from the coffee table and turning the volume up. on the screen was your local news channel, an anchor braving what seemed to be utter chaos behind them. 

/reporting to you live from the streets of atlanta. since the news of the virus outbreak, madness has struck the city. people are in a frenzy, desperate to get out and find some sort of safety. it is highly advised you form a group with whoever you are near now and leave as soon as you can. i will provide you with more updates as they com-/

before the reporter could finish her sentence, someone came barreling up behind them, snapping their neck cleanly. you watched in horror as the reporter’s body crumpled to the ground and the culprit followed suit, crawling on his hands and knees to get to the exposed flesh of their neck. the culprit sniffed deeply before he began ripping their throat out, blood pooling near their head and their face quickly becoming unrecognizable. the look in the culprit’s eyes was nothing short of evil and you felt as if you were going to vomit just watching. 

“y/n, there you are!” the sound of hanbin's panicked voice caused a wave of fear to course through your veins. you yelped in surprise, quickly whipping around to face him, taking in his expression, a backpack of his own secured on his back not going unnoticed by you. 

this was real. and it was serious.

you felt tears well up in your eyes at the sight of him, still digesting what you had just witnessed on the television. he glanced over at the screen, catching a look for himself, and was quick to shut it off so you didn't have to see anymore. he approached you gently, but you were quick to cling to him, desperate to be grounded, to have a sense of security after being woken up to such intense news. you felt his arms envelope you in an embrace, his hands cupping the back of your head as you whispered, “i’m terrified, hanbin.”

“i know,” he consoled, trying his best to keep his voice steady, “i am too, but we can't let that control us right now. we have to be logical and level headed. let’s go find taerae and get out of here.”

you nodded, pulling away from him, feeling your heartbeat speed up in your chest at the way he wiped your tears away, the softest of smiles on his face. he tilted his head in the direction of your bedroom, and you followed behind him, shaking your head at yourself. now was /not/ the time for you to be dwelling on the crush you developed on him. at this point, you weren't sure if there would ever be a time, but you were hardly worried about it. 

you entered back into your bedroom, having seen taerae was almost finished with packing your backpack full of things. you thanked him quietly and apologized for freaking out on him a few minutes prior, earning a small smile from him in return, “i understand why you didn't believe me at first, so it's really okay.”

“so what’s the plan?” you asked, now taking the bag from taerae’s grasp and slinging it over your shoulders. 

“i suppose we attempt to get wherever they're saying to go,” hanbin answered. you looked outside of your window, catching a glimpse of the chaos a few streets over, a cynical laugh erupting from your lungs, “looks like that’ll be easier said than done.”

the three of you made a collective decision to at least try, because maybe you'd be guaranteed safety that way. you stayed clustered together tightly upon exiting the house through the front door, every sense on high alert as you kept your eyes peeled out for anyone you suspected might be infected by the virus. you felt as if your heart was in your throat, adrenaline coursing through your veins in a way it never had before. 

you slunk to taerae's suv, opening the doors to get in as quietly as you could muster, though you knew it would be harder to keep its old doors from squeaking too loudly. you hopped in quickly, desperate to get out of there and to a place where you wouldn't have to fear so much, and hopefully live in peace until this entire thing blew over. 

out of habit, taerae shut the door loudly, and the panic that sank to the pits of your stomachs was enough for taerae to kick it into high gear and speed out of your neighborhood as fast as he could. loud, gutteral shrieks from infected chasing after the car could be heard – the sound was unmistakable. you tried your hardest to keep your head down, to not look, because you genuinely felt like you'd throw up at any given moment.

but your efforts were cut short from the sounds of the tires screeching and taerae yelling, your gaze flicking up to see a body toppling over the hood of the car, blood splattering on the windshield and oozing from their mouth from where they'd likely just gotten done devouring someone. silence hung thickly in the air, the three of you processing everything that just happened.

“i just ki-”

taerae’s words were drowned out by the sound of you wretching in the back seat.

ii.

you never made it to the hospital. there was far too much chaos, and by the time you’d made it to a gas station, everyone had used up every last drop trying to top off before they drove up there. the three of you ended up having to completely abandon taerae’s suv, and despite the sheer amount of infected surrounding you, somehow, you survived. 

your new routine had been set in place for quite some time now. find a shelter, scavenge for supplies, and repeat for a couple weeks. then afterward, you would relocate. it was really the most you could do, considering every place you deemed worthy to make a hideout ended up being overtaken by more infected than you could usually handle. you were getting pretty sick of constantly having to move around, having no stability.

you missed life before the outbreak.

it took weeks for you to adjust to seeing so much blood, or having to kill infected who hadn't completely rotted away, some eerily intact despite the virus taking hold. it took an even longer time to adjust to /killing/. it was never something you imagined you would ever have to do in your life, but by now, about a year and a half later since the outbreak, you were immune to it and it didn't bother you anymore. regardless, you still longed for the days where all you did was complain about work and bills. 

having taerae and hanbin around made things a lot easier; especially hanbin. he naturally assumed the role of leader within your small group, and even more so if you had others tagging along with you. but just barely a week ago the last person of a group of about 5 you came across got bit and succumbed to the infection, leading to a huge scare of taerae potentially getting infected himself. thankfully, he wasn't, but the prospect of losing either of them to the virus made you feel nauseous. 

your tasks for each day were split up so none of you experienced extreme amounts of burnout. some days were dedicated solely to rest, though all three of you felt incredibly guilty when you did that. at any given moment, you could be attacked. or not have enough to eat. or even die. one thing you all had learned the hard way was that you were never guaranteed to live through an entire day. 

which led you to your current situation of trying to sneak around a nearby general store in hopes of finding some sort of supplies with taerae while hanbin protected the house you were currently inhabiting. since losing the last of your new group, you often found yourself wishing you could have at least a few more people so nobody was left alone. knowing that hanbin was currently by himself made you uneasy, especially since he couldn’t defend himself against more than two or three infected, or even other people, at once. you shook the thoughts plaguing your mind away; there was no time to think about things like that.

besides, you knew hanbin would be fine. he always was.

you gripped your knife tightly in your hand, allowing your eyes to constantly scan the aisles while you were searching through boxes in hopes of finding anything you could use. you had come to this place a couple of times since settling down a couple weeks ago, but it was nearly empty now. your food supply was running out at an alarming rate and there was only so much you could ration between the three of you before you would inevitably starve. 

the moment you came across anything that was edible, you could have cried. it was the millionth can of beans you had come across since you’d been traveling and you were tired of them being the main component of your diet. it was no wonder it was some of the only food left no matter where you went. people still hated beans, even in the midst of an apocalypse.

you carefully stepped over large chunks of broken glass to avoid making too much noise so you could stand next to taerae, who was dejectedly kicking around some garbage that was of no use to any of you. smiling sadly, you asked, “have you found anything?”

“not really, no,” he answered, “i think another group of people came through here and took a bunch of supplies we had seen when we were fighting that mob last week. bastards.”

you knew how frustrated taerae was getting with unsuccessful supply runs. admittedly, you were feeling the same way. it was hard not to have a temper. but, you were actively trying to make sure you didn’t let it crush your spirits too much. if you did, you knew that it would not only bring your motivation to keep searching down, but it would take a toll on everyone else around you as well. that was the last thing you needed, especially since things were looking more and more grim each day.

“have you found anything?” he asked.

you sighed, “other than a couple cans of beans and a box of cold medicine, i haven’t come across anything worthwhile.”

taerae softly whined, and for a minute, you thought he might throw a tantrum, “why does everyone leave only beans? that’s been our diet for what feels like an eternity.”

“i know, but be glad we find anything at all. it’s better than nothing,” taerae huffed in annoyance, but ultimately agreed with your sentiment.

you followed taerae out of the store, careful not to let the door slam shut behind you. making one loud, uneccessary noise would more than likely lead to your deaths, and that wasn’t particularly something you were looking for by any means. you both refused to leave hanbin on his own. you were doubtful he could survive alone, especially if he were to encounter a lot of infected at one time.

there was nobody who was capable of that.

you set off down the road toward your current hideout. night time was creeping up on the two of you, and while you were sure the you could take on a small group of infected together, you knew you couldn’t handle any more than that. you peered over to your partner, taking note of the sour expression adorning his features, and nudged him playfully, “a little success is better than nothing at all, you know.”

“i do,” he attempted to fight the smile creeping at the corners of his mouth, “maybe you’re just bad luck. every time i go on a run with hanbin, we always find so much.”

“hey!” you exclaimed with a light laugh.

taerae shrugged, a small chuckle emitting from his lungs, “you didn’t deny it.”

you fell into a comfortable silence, the only audible sound being your boots thudding against the pavement. you felt a shiver course down your spine; this would be your second time going through this apocalypse in the winter months. it was hard to ignore the fact that it was starting to get icy out and the wind was cutting right through your thin jacket and down to your bones. you leaned a little closer into taerae, who was practically grinning from ear to ear as you did so.

“i take it you’re cold?” though he was teasing you, his arm instinctively wrapped around your shoulders. you nuzzled closer into the boy’s side, soaking up any bit of warmth he radiated from underneath his hoodie.

“no, i’m sweating buckets,” you sarcastically remarked, completely unable to mask your playful smile, “i’m actually freezing. and i think it’s starting to rain.”

taerae tilted his head up toward the sky, his dark eyes scanning the darkening gray clouds overhead. he audibly sighed, and you took note of the cold droplets of water starting to fall on top of your head and seep into your clothes. he turned to you, “we’re only a couple blocks away from the house, let’s just pick up the pace. we don’t want our asses to get mauled by infected when we’re almost back.”

you nearly stopped dead in your tracks at the sound. it was almost as if taerae was psychic sometimes, and you were hoping like hell you were just hearing things. a deep, throaty growl sounded off behind you once more, and when you turned your head to look, your eyes widened at the sight of a mob forming behind you. you supposed that this was to be expected, especially considering it had grown darker a lot sooner than it normally did, but it still put fear in your heart. 

taerae gently urged you forward, “we need to go, now!”

even if the size of the mob was manageable, it certainly did not mean the two of you should take it on. the moment you were to do that, more were likely to start showing up and you would be doomed. taerae grabbed your hand as the two of you began to sprint, his grip on you preventing you from falling any further behind from your slight lack of speed. the rain had become heavier the closer you got to your hideout, skewing any good amount of vision you were hoping to have between your hair plastering to your skin and the weather limiting how far ahead you could see in front of you.

you cursed the month of december; it had always been one of your least favorite months, even before the outbreak, but now it was definitely taking the top spot for your most hated. ice had already begun to form on the road and sidewalks of the neighborhood and your boots were no longer gripping to anything. an intense jolt of pain shot through your knee the moment you lost your balance and smashed it into the pavement. you inhaled a sharp breath, struggling to regain your footing as taerae stopped to help pull you up. 

“they’re getting closer! come on, y/n, we’re only a few houses away!” 

you pushed your legs to keep going, no matter how much your knee was throbbing or your muscles felt like they were on fire. you desperately searched your surroundings in hopes of finding some sort of familiarity, and the moment you saw hanbin standing in the living room window of your hideout, you felt a wave relief wash over you. 

taerae pulled you up the front steps of the porch, making sure you got inside before he did, and kicking an infected back into the crowd and following you so it couldn’t force its way inside. hanbin slammed the door and locked the deadbolt the moment he was able to. your legs felt like jello and there was no mistaking the heavy breathing of taerae as he was hunched over, tossing his bag onto the ground. 

“did it get you?” hanbin sounded frantic as he shoved taerae’s right pant leg up, eyes scanning every inch of his skin for a mark of any kind left by the infected he had kicked back.

taerae scowled, shoving the older boy away from him with a smirk, “of course not. i would have felt it,” his gaze softened at hanbin’s solemn gaze, “i’m okay, don’t worry.”

hanbin nodded, his eyes flickering over to your hobbling frame as you attempted to make your way to the old couch you had been sleeping on since being in the house. you winced the moment you put any pressure on that knee, though, and within mere seconds hanbin had his arm snaked around your waist to help you get to your destination easier. 

you sat down, exhaling a shaky breath as you rolled up your own pant leg. your entire knee was already beginning to form a deep purple bruise and blood seeped from the small scrape that you figured you would have. you gingerly poked around the wound, mentally cursing yourself for losing your footing in the first place. 

“y/n took a pretty hard fall out there, i’m surprised they didn’t shatter their kneecap,” taerae spoke up.

a look of concern contorted hanbin’s face, “are you going to be able to function okay?” 

“i don’t know,” you truthfully replied, “i think i can as long as i nurse it or have some sort of support. i also think it would be best if we leave and try to find another shelter somewhere, we’ve definitely overstayed our welcome here.”

taerae scoffed, “are you out of your mind? there’s absolutely no way you can travel with your knee like that, let alone fight off any infected.”

“as much as i hate to admit it, i think y/n is right,” hanbin said, “besides, we’ve wiped out everything nearby that could possibly have usable supplies. there’s no way we can survive on what little we have until y/n is fully healed up.”

“not to mention, it seems like more and more infected are showing up around you here,” you added.

your gaze locked with taerae, who looked as if he could explode at any given moment. you knew he had the best of intentions, but it was crucial you left at dawn. sighing, you reached out and grabbed his hand, squeezing it in reassurance and muttering, “i’ll be okay, i promise. i can hold my own and as long as we wrap my knee up well, i’ll be able to walk normally. you know i wouldn’t say any of this if i didn’t think i could do it.”

taerae finally nodded in agreement, though his expression remained menacing as his eyes flickered between both you and hanbin.

“we better get some rest, we leave the moment the sun rises.”

iii.

it had been a couple of days since the three of you had set out from your hideout. to say you were exhausted was an understatement; you hadn’t found a shelter worthwhile to stay in, so you had to make camp in the most closed off spaces you could, usually in the woods. you hardly slept; it was far too cold to stay asleep for very long at all and if you did manage to get a couple hours in, you felt worse when you woke up.

you had to eat your supply of beans straight from the can because you had no way to cook them. scarfing them down wasn’t exactly ideal, and you dealt with taerae whining about it the most out of all of you. but, food was food, and you were lucky enough to have what you did. 

“if this map is correct,” hanbin interrupted the silence as the three of you continued walking down the same road you had set foot on, “this road should take us to the next town a couple miles out from where we are now.”

you felt a pang of excitement hit you, “maybe we’ll find better food there.”

“and somewhere a little more warm to sleep,” taerae added, the eagerness in his voice hard to ignore.

hanbin nodded, “we could probably make it there today if we keep up the pace we are,” he turned to look at you, “can you do that with your knee?”

truthfully, your knee felt like it was going to give out on you at any given moment. hanbin did the best he could with the little supplies you had to stabilize it enough so it didn’t hurt when you walked. it worked for the first day and half, but ever since your last stop to try and sleep, it’s been in an excruciating amount of pain. 

you still assured the two with a smile anyway, “i’ll be fine, i promise.”

as the three of you continued your journey, you couldn’t help but feel like every inch of your body was going numb. being out in the cold for the amount of time you had been was definitely not good for any of you, especially since the jackets you had were suitable only for autumn-like weather. snow had begun piling up on the first day of traveling, making things even more slick beneath your boots and the chill in the air to cut through every measly layer of clothing you adorned. 

you just hoped that hanbin was right about the town. for everyone’s sake.

— — —

“there’s a stream not too far from here, i’ll go and get some water while you change y/n’s bandages.”

hanbin was currently kneeling on the ground in front of you, teeth gritted together as he tried to keep from shivering too much while he focused on the task at hand, “just hurry back.”

with that, taerae set off into the woods where the stream could be seen from where your spot on a tree stump, his boots crunching the snow beneath them. one of the only perks about winter was being able to see through the usually dense areas a lot easier. 

you sighed, frustrated with yourself, “i’m sorry for setting us back.”

hanbin shook his head, “you don’t have to apologize, i know you wouldn’t ask to stop for the day if you were feeling okay.”

“maybe you should just leave me for the infected, i’m more of a burden right now than anything,” you half-joked, one corner of your mouth raising in a smile.

however, the boy in front of you didn’t find it to be very funny. his frown deepened and he locked his dark eyes with yours and grabbed your hand, his fingers chilled to the bone, and a seriousness radiating from his body, “i will never, ever leave you behind, even if it costs me my life. okay?” 

“the same will always go for you,” you squeezed his hand reassuringly. you would be an idiot if you didn’t admit the small smile he gave in return made your belly do backflips or the feeling of his hand in yours made you warm up just a little bit.

hanbin taped the remaining bandage together the best he could before rolling your pant leg down, careful not to roll his hard work down with the fabric of your jeans. you mumbled a thank you, standing up to make sure it was still secure and once you gave him a thumbs up, hanbin rose to his feet as well. 

by now, taerae made his way back to the two of you, extending the canteen of cool water out to you. taking it graciously, you took a few good sips before passing the object to hanbin. 

“what’s the plan now?” taerae inquired, scanning the brush around you in an attempt to find somewhere to set up camp for the night. 

hanbin shrugged, “maybe we should wait until morning to finish the hike to the convenience store. it’s almost dark now and i would hate to travel and have that be what kills us,” both you and taerae nodded in agreement. 

you parted your lips to speak, “let’s find somewhere to rest then, we have a long night ahead of us.”

— — — 

you desperately clung to hanbin and taerae, craving warmth more than ever. you were to the point now that moving hurt from how cold your entire body was. the small fire you had going earlier in the evening had to be put out before you slept so it didn't attract more infected that you wanted, so it was exponentially more difficult than any of your previous nights on the road or inside an abandoned home. 

morning began to break through the clouds in the sky, your surroundings illuminated by the dim light it provided to you. the snow glimmered all around you, and bad you not been freezing your ass off, you would have found it beautiful.  hanbin began to stir next to you, uttering a quiet, “did you get any sleep?”

“barely,” you mumbled back, taking note of the way taerae was snoring on your other side, sleeping soundly as if he wasn't on the frigid, hard ground in the middle of winter. you envied him, because no matter where you were, he was somehow able to sleep at least a few hours. 

hanbin lowly chuckled, “me either, but i’m glad to see it's going well for him.”

you peered up at hanbin through your lashes, taking in the gash just to the side of his right eye that was still healing from an encounter with a hostile group of survivors a few weeks ago. you reached up to touch it, gently tilting his head sideways to get a better look at it. you informed him, “it’s healing really well, i don't think the scar will be all that noticeable.”

“good, i’m glad,” he replied, and you missed the way his eyes followed you as you flipped around on your other side to begin rustling taerae awake. truthfully, you turned away because you were scared hanbin would catch on to the feelings you still somehow possessed for him, but waking taerae was also just as important. 

taerae grunted as he woke up, surprise evident in his face; almost as if he were worried something bad was happening, but when he realized it was just you, he relaxed almost immediately. “what time is it?” he asked, and you glanced down at the watch you adorned on your wrist, replying, “just barely after six.”

your morning was pretty relaxed after that. you took your time waking up and even managed to get another fire going so you could defrost yourselves before trekking back out into the snow toward your destination. your knee was feeling a lot better since taking a break and you were able to comfortably walk on it without needing some kind of support from either hanbin or taerae. 

your relaxation and bliss of the fire were quickly replaced with dread and hatred toward the cold as you trudged toward the town you were looking for. you still felt better, and your knee was much easier to walk on than previously, so you knew you'd at least be able to make it there while there was still daylight.

a soft gasp erupted from the boy on your right “what’s that up there?” the glee laced in taerae’s voice was hard to ignore upon him catching sight of gas pumps and the building next to them. 

you squinted to catch a better glimpse and couldn’t help the grin tugging at either corner of your mouth, “i think we’re here!”

hanbin chuckled, “you two sound like you’re arriving somewhere for a field trip.”

you nudged him slightly, the three of you unknowingly picking up your paces in pure excitement. you pulled out your weapons upon getting closer to the gas station, eyes and ears fully alert for any potential threats surrounding the area – infected or not. 

taerae extended his arm, quietly pulling the door open and holding his gun up in front of him as he walked inside. you were the next one inside with hanbin following up the rear, and once you were able to see that there was no imminent danger inside any of the rooms, you put your weapons away.

the sight you were greeted with was enough to almost bring the three of you to tears. there was at least four shelves of food and supplies that hadn’t been touched yet, which was extremely rare to come by at the point you were in with the apocalypse. 

“this has been well worth the wait,” taerae piped up, tossing a box of crackers, a package of hot dogs, and a few bottles of water into his backpack, “we finally don’t have to eat stupid fucking beans anymore.” 

“and we don’t have to hear you complain about it,” the eldest boy teased, mimicking the younger’s actions as he got a feel for everything there was to offer. 

you headed toward the back room, flicking the light on only to be greeted with a few makeshift mattresses the people here previously had left. you searched the drawers of the desk off to your right, greeted with a pad of paper and a pen as well as a few other items you found to be useful to the group. 

you tossed everything into your backpack and put it to the side, opting to tidy up the beds so everything was neatly arranged and each of the three of you had a spot to sleep. The padding on the floor was much softer than you expected it to be and you almost screeched in excitement when you stumbled upon a closet filled with thick coats. 

as you finished pulling them out of the closet, the other two were entering the room with grins adorning their faces. taerae saw you struggling to hold all the coats at once and came forward to help you, laughing at your misfortune when you dropped pretty much all of them on the floor. 

without a word, you began going through them and found ones in your sizes or at least close to them, sighing in content at the feeling of warmth they gave you once you slipped them on. you closed the door to the office, settling down onto the mattresses with the other two.

“do we want to stay here for a little bit before we head out again? or do we want to try and find a house?” hanbin asked, finally breaking the silence between the three of you and the analytical part of his brain speaking for him. 

you leaned back against the wall, your eyes trained on the ceiling, “i would be okay with either one. right now we’re at least guaranteed shelter, even if it’s only for a couple of days.”

“maybe we can stay for three or four days and see if we can find a house nearby,” taerae suggested. you all nodded, deciding that was the best plan you could come up with. 

you were just glad to have something go your way for once.

iv.

you stirred around on your spot on the floor, groggily coming out of one of the best sleeps you’ve had in months. you felt deliciously warm, sandwiched in between both taerae and hanbin, who were also just beginning to wake up. 

you smiled to yourself, propping your body up onto your elbow as your eyes scanned the area around you. it almost felt too good to be true, striking the jackpot with so much in one day. it was very rare the group of you ever had more than enough food to survive for a week, especially if there was more people with you, and here you were with everything you could have ever hoped for. you felt extremely grateful.

“why the hell are you up so early?” taerae groaned, flipping his arm over to look at the time on his watch before he covered his head with a pillow.

you chuckled at him, voice a hushed whisper so you didn't wake hanbin, who was still sleeping peacefully, “i don't know, i just couldn't sleep anymore.”

taerae huffed loudly before eventually sitting up, his hair tangled and messy and eyes still shut as he gained his bearings back. finally, he looked at you, playfully annoyed, and said, “i suppose you and i can rummage around for some more stuff while hanbin rests for a little longer. he never gets enough and he seems to actually be into a deep sleep.”

you peered over at the boy fondly, taking note of his soft snores and slightly agape mouth. taerae was right, and you did everything you could to be quiet before you left. you wrote a quick note on the pad of paper you found the previous day and left it where you slept so hanbin could easily find it if he woke up and you were still gone. 

you followed taerae out of the office, careful to not close the door too loudly just in case any infected had wandered in overnight. you seemed to be in the clear, and almost welcomed the crisp morning air as it hit your face and filled your lungs. there were a few other buildings nearby, abandoned cars as well, so you decided to scope them out and see what they had to offer. 

as you rummaged through a bag on the ground near one of the vehicles, taerae’s straightforward question caught you off guard, “are you ever going to tell hanbin that you like him?”

you were baffled, to say the least. you glanced up at him, mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water, before you finally managed to spit out, “that is not what i was expecting to talk about while we did this.”

“that's not an answer to my question,” taerae teased.

“no shit, sherlock,” you sarcastically remarked, deciding to keep a box of matches you'd found in that bag. you pondered his question before you answered him as you rose to your feet, avoiding eye contact and feeling yourself begin to blush, “i don't know, i mean, we’re in the middle of an apocalypse, i don't think it's the right time.”

“is there ever going to be a right time?”

his question made your mind start reeling. of course you'd /thought/ about telling hanbin, but you didn't want to ruin your friendship and most certainly didn't want to make things awkward considering you had to be around him until you either died and split off in your own ways. you thought he was way out of your league, anyway. there was no way he would ever like you back. you finally looked at taerae, a smug grin plastered on his face, and you stuck your tongue out, “quit being an ass.”

“y/n has a crush~” he sing-songed, skipping in annoying little circles around you and poking your sides annoyingly. you crossed your arms over your chest, giving taerae a blank stare until he stopped in front of you, his smile even wider now “you're blushing.”

you smacked his arm, earning a yelp from him, and hastily said, “no i’m not, it's just freezing out here.”

the two of you kept rummaging around, and after several minutes, taerae had done eerily quiet. you knew he was probably scheming something, because even amidst hell on earth, he always found a way to pull fast ones on you and hanbin. you shook your head, mentally preparing yourself for whatever it was he decided to do. 

but nothing came, and you were beginning to get worried. you had your upper body inside of another car, legs still dangling outside, after seeing one of the windows rolls down, and you were trying your best to grab onto a bottle of rubbing alcohol in the passenger seat. you desperately lunged for it, but to no avail. you decided to see if you could find taerae and make sure he was still alive and breathing. 

you attempted to shimmy your way backward out of the car, and felt panic set deep in your stomach at the feeling of something grabbing at your ankles. you tried like crazy not scream, but frantically began kicking in an attempt to get the infected off of you. a growl was able to be heard as it pulled you the rest of the way out the car, but you were able to get leverage and fully kick it off of you. turning around, you reached for your knife on your holster, fully prepared to kill it, but stopped with your hand gripping the handle upon seeing taerae standing behind you, mocking an infected far too well. 

“damn it, taerae!” you exclaimed, whacking him on the chest with your hand, “i could have killed you!”

he pointed menacingly, “but you didn't.”

“having fun out there?” the sound of hanbin’s voice broke the two of you out of your bickering, heads turning to see him leaning against the door frame of the gas station convenience store, a small smile curling up the corners of his lips, “looks like he got you good, y/n.”

you groaned in annoyance, “i can't believe you saw that,” you pushed taerae for good measure, “and you thought it was funny.”

hanbin shrugged, laughing along with you, “what can i say, i love a good prank when i see it.”

v.

you continued this little escapade at the gas station for a few days, more because the office was much warmer than outside and less because there was a plethora of supplies. all of the surrounding buildings ended up being a bust, completely ransacked before you even got there. thankfully you had the gas station, but it was only a matter of time before you would have to relocate. again. 

the three of you were sat in the office on the foam pieces you'd been using to sleep on, looking at the map smoothed out in front of you to determine your next route. you pointed to a small town north of where you were, but before you could say anything about it, you were pulled from your thoughts at the sound of voices and rummaging out in the main area of the building. you turned to the other two, eyes wide in panic, “do you hear that?” 

“yeah,” taerae was already moving to get up, his hand reaching for his gun placed on the desk beside him, “it sounds like people are trying to take our shit.”

“taerae, don’t” hanbin attempted to stop the younger boy from leaving the room, but his words went through one ear and out the other. his impulsivity never failed to amaze you. 

you sighed, shaking your head as he opened up the door, completely giving away your location to whatever was out in the main lobby. you rose to your feet as well, quick to follow him out and grab his hand in a futile attempt to pull him back and keep him from going on an unintentional murder spree. 

you were greeted by the bewildered gazes of a couple of boys, both very obviously malnourished and freezing, hands up in the air upon seeing taerae’s gun pointed at them. the boy in front of you two spoke up, subconsciously moving in front of the other one in a means to protect him from any harm.

“we aren't infected, i swear, we’re no threat to you,” his voice held both confidence and fear at the same time. you felt your gaze soften at their petrified expressions. 

you heard a harsh slap. “ow!” taerae exclaimed, turning around to face the eldest in your group, who had a grin on his face. taerae's hand gingerly rubbing the back of his head. 

he looked at the others, “you’ll have to excuse him, he can be a bit of a dickhead at times.”

you shoved taerae’s arm down, preventing him from holding the two at gunpoint any longer. he defeatedly sighed, tucking the weapon away into his pocket. he gave hanbin a scowl before muttering, “sorry.”

“that’s okay,” the taller boy spoke up, “we apologize for intruding, but we haven’t been able to eat for three days now and we were just happy to find supplies.”

“take whatever you want,” hanbin motioned to the shelves in front of them, a kind, gentle smile causing his eyes to take the shape of tiny crescents.

“thank you,” the boy opened up his bag, “i’m gunwook, by the way,” he motioned to the boy standing next to him, ”and this my brother, gyuvin.”

he smiled, giving a small wave, “nice to meet you.”

“nice to meet you too. i’m hanbin, and these are my friends taerae and y/n,” hanbin replied. he seemed almost giddy that you’d come across more people to speak and potentially form a group with. 

you cleared your throat, pointing your thumb at the office, “you guys look like you’re freezing, we found some coats if you want some.”

a wave of relief washed over gyuvin, “yes please, this is all we’ve had since winter started creeping up. i’m surprised we haven’t gotten frostbite yet.”

you led him back into the room you slept in, opening up the closet door to reveal the remaining coats. you helped him find his size, and when he couldn't zip it up from how stiff his fingers were, you did it for him, smiling at him afterward. gyuvin smiled back, but it held a hint of sadness. you didn't want to inquire why, especially since you’d just met them. 

he sifted through them and picked out one for gunwook. “thank you so much, really,” he sounded more grateful than you had felt when you first found them, “i’ve been really worried about what would happen the deeper we get into winter.”

“it’s not a problem. we weren’t going to use them anyway,” you looked at him as you began walking back to the rest of the group, “are you just passing through or finding somewhere to stay?” 

gyuvin made eye contact with his brother, as if he were scared to say anything, but gunwook gave him a nod of approval. he parted his lips to speak, facing the entire group, “we’re actually headed to seattle.”

“for what?” taerae inquired, brows furrowed in thought, “from what i’ve heard, it’s a dead city.”

gunwook chimed in, “a few people we met not too long ago told us they were going out to try and find others to bring back to this community they’ve built and sent us on our way. apparently they have a farm, horses, and a lot more supplies than people like us could ever hope to have,” he seemed so hopeful at the prospect of so many resources. 

“if you want, you guys can come with us. it would probably be a lot more beneficial to travel in a larger group anyway,” gyuvin offered, mainly making eye contact with hanbin since he was the one who appeared to have the most authority in your group.

he looked a bit hesitant, scanning the faces of both you and taerae, “do you guys want to talk about it?”

“yeah,” taerae was quick to answer, pointedly looking at the other two, feigning a fake smile, “we’ll be right back.”

the three of you locked yourselves away into the other room. taerae turned around, the expression on his face unreadable, but his words shocking both you and hanbin, “i think it’s a horrible fucking idea.”

hanbin scoffed, “and why is that?”

“these people literally just showed up not even ten minutes ago and you’re giving up our supplies and considering going with them to some community that we aren’t even sure exists,” taerae exclaimed, “plus, we /just/ lost the last of the other survivors we picked up. i’m sick of losing the people we grow close to.”

“i don’t know, taerae, i think we can trust them,” you told him, “besides, it’s better to have a larger group. you have to admit, traveling and finding supplies has been a lot harder with only three of us,” his shocked gaze met with yours and you did your best to reason with him, “they are extremely malnourished and only came to try and find food and you’re mad about that. what if it was us instead of them?”

he opened his mouth to retort something, but quickly closed it and shook his head, staring down at the floor. you gave hanbin a knowing look, a small smile on your face. 

he nodded, “it’s settled then. we’re going to seattle.”

vi.

as you walked with your newly formed group, you couldn’t help but feel a little giddy. taerae was right; you were still navigating the feelings of your other group mates dying, but you were still less anxious when there was more of you together. you had almost given up hope that there even was anyone else. 

taerae had remained silent almost the entire time you had been traveling. he was still nervous about grouping together with the strangers you had met the previous day, which you understood, but you were confused as to why it was suddenly a problem when you'd done it countless times before. another thing that bothered you was the fact that he was giving both you and hanbin the silent treatment. you scanned the other three in front of you, who were conversing about when they should set up camp for the night, and sighed, grabbing taerae's arm and making him wait until you were a few paces behind. hesitantly, you met your gaze with his, your voice as stern as you could make it when you spoke. 

“what’s your problem?”

taerae looked taken aback by how blunt and straightforward you were with your question. his bewildered gaze almost immediately went back to the scowl he had previously been adorning. he shook his head, his response short as he said, “it’s nothing, y/n.”

“well, you sure aren’t acting like it’s nothing,” you retorted, rolling your eyes at how stubborn the boy was being. however, your gaze softened upon seeing his frown deepen, “talk to me. this isn’t like you.”

taerae pondered your words for a moment before finally admitting his worries to you, “i guess i’m just scared.” “scared about what?”

“getting close to them and losing them like we did the others. they could be selfish, too. we don’t know a single thing about them and if we get in a situation where someone’s life is on the line, i fear they’re going to leave us without much thought,” his voice grew quiet upon his confession. you swore you could feel your heart break in your chest at his next words, “i can’t lose you and hanbin.”

you reached out and laced your fingers with his, squeezing gently in reassurance and forcing him to look at you, “as long as you, hanbin, and i are loyal to each other, that’s all that matters, right? all we have to do is back each other up if the other two happen flake on us.”

taerae’s eyes were glossed over in clear appreciation for your words, his grip tightening on your hand, “thank you.”

“you don’t have to thank me. it’s what i’m here for,” you teased, nudging the boy playfully with your shoulder. the smile on his face was refreshing to see after having him upset the entire day since leaving the gas station. 

the two of you caught back up with the rest of the group, who had come to a halt to scope out the area surrounding you all. the woods appeared to be significantly thicker, which provided more protection from any of the infected that lurked in the shadows at night. it would also be easier to make a shelter to sleep in overnight. 

gunwook turned, asking the two of you, “what do you think?”

taerae was the first to speak, “i think it’s definitely a decent spot for now. it looks like we might be able to have an area for a fire as well.”

to say you were shocked was an understatement. hanbin shared a look with you, a grin threatening to tug at the corners of his mouth. you knew the eldest was worried that taerae was going to stay in his funk for days on end, but the look of relief was enough to cause you to feel it too. the boy winked at you, asking the group, “should we split into shifts to keep watch over everything?”

“i’m not opposed to the idea,” gyuvin piped up, pulling his coat closer to his body. it was clear he was still freezing despite having a lot more warmth than when you first met him, “i can take the first one if you want.”

it was your turn to pitch in, “i’ll join you, it’s best to work in teams of two.”

he gave you a grateful smile. you honestly thought that he’s someone you could wind up being really good friends with. you just wished it didn’t have to be because the apocalypse brought you together.

— — — 

the evening came quickly once camp was set up for the night. hanbin and gunwook had managed to get a pretty decent fire going considering the fact that most of the wood you all found was damp or frozen from the snow. you all had welcomed the warmth with open arms.

since everyone was able to take most of the supplies from the gas station, the thin foam that you had used for mattresses the night before were now neatly laid out on the ground in a dense thicket of trees that had already formed somewhat of a shelter. It was certainly a lot better than what you, hanbin, or taerae had made in the past. 

one thing taerae was particularly happy about was being able to warm up some of the food you guys had. he even accepted the beans with a smile instead of turning up his nose to them, which caused both you and hanbin to giggle at him. 

the five of you sat around the fire, recounting your stories of what happened when the outbreak was first announced. taerae was laughing his head off, stating, “y/n really thought i was joking when i went into their room and told them what was happening.”

you threw a wadded up wrapper at him, “in my defense, he is constantly messing with me,” you looked at gyuvin and gunwook, who were laughing along with you, and joked, “watch out for him, because soon he'll be pranking you guys too.”

“what were you guys doing?” hanbin asked the two of them, and they sat deep in thought for a moment, gyuvin finally telling them, “i’m pretty sure we were staying the night at our brother’s house. if i’m remembering correctly, it was a friday, and we usually did stuff together after school.”

“yeah, it was, i think we were getting ready to go out to dinner,” gunwook added, “and instead of getting in the car normally, it felt like we were the main characters of an action movie or something. ricky drove like a maniac.”

you laughed at the image you had in your head of not only their experience, yours as well, “taerae ran one of our neighbors over when we were trying to get off of our street.” 

gunwook’s eyes widened, his smile stretched from ear to ear as he said, “becoming a murderer early on, i see.”

your laughter began to die down as the sun started to set, and your playful conversation turned into solemn ones. hanbin stared at the dancing flames, quietly asking, “i hope this isn't prying too much, but how did it end up just being the two of you?”

gyuvin sighed. you could tell this was a touchy subject, but he was willing to answer hanbin's question, “he got turned not too long ago. we got ambushed by the biggest mob of infected we’ve ever encountered since the outbreak,” his voice cracked as he said the next part, “he shielded us the entire time we were fighting them.”

“he ended up getting bit and made us tie him to a tree so we would have time to run,” gunwook’s solemn gaze made your heart twinge in sadness for them. you couldn't imagine losing hanbin or taerae like that, if at all, and wondered how your new friends were even managing to push through. 

taerae gave the pair a close-lipped smile, “it sounds like he was an amazing brother to have.”

“yeah,” gyuvin seemed deep in thought, a stray tear racing down his cheek, “he was.”

— — —

as soon as darkness engulfed the woods, gunwook, hanbin, and taerae settled down and drifted off to sleep, which left you and gyuvin sat by the fire to keep watch over the camp. the boy was sat across from you, his knees drawn up to his chest and his gaze fixed on the flickering flames that illuminated his face. he was practically glued to gunwook’s side. 

softly, he questioned, “hey, can i ask you something?”

you glanced at him, confusion painted across your features, “of course, what’s up?” 

he sighed. it looked like he was contemplating even saying something to begin with, but finally, after you assumed he won his internal battle, he asked, “does taerae hate gunwook and i or something? he seemed angry when we first met and i don’t want us to intrude on whatever the three of you were hoping to do.”

“no, he doesn’t hate you at all,” you reassured, which caused his shoulders to visibly relax. you fell silent for a moment, gazing over at the boy who was curled up as close to hanbin as the eldest would allow. he looked so at peace, which you rarely ever saw from him. you turned back to the boy across from you, “he’s just incredibly protective of the two of us. it’s really been only us together since the start of all of this and he doesn’t want to lose either of us, is all.”

“i completely understand that,” gyuvin replied, shifting to now lean back against the tree stump behind him, “i hope you never have to go through what we did, that's for sure.” 

“could i ask you a question now?”

gyuvin nodded, “sure.”

“i noticed this the other day, but you just seem to get sad whenever i’m around, and i wanted to make sure it was nothing i was doing,” you were hoping that you didn't seem like you were accusing him of anything, and he most definitely didn't take it that way. 

he offered a sad smile with his answer, “you just remind me a lot of ricky, is all. you guys are very similar in terms of personality.”

“well, i know i can't ever fill his spot, but i can still be there to support you throughout this entire journey we’re on.”

a small cry escaped gyuvin’s lips as he angrily wiped his tears away from his cheeks, “thank you, it really means a lot to hear that.”

once he collected himself, the two of you fell into a comfortable conversation, telling stories from your childhood and even some crazy ones of times where you thought you were going to die in the midst of the apocalypse. for the first time in a while, you felt content. at peace, even.

you hoped it would happen more often. 

— — —

the woods were serene at night when you didn't have to fear for your life. the soft chirps of the crickets, the occasional hoot of an owl, and even the crackle of the fire brought you a sense of comfort and security you hadn't felt for a very long time; since the start of the apocalypse, really. but for whatever reason, you just couldn't sleep.

maybe it was because you were thinking back on your conversation with taerae and the concerns he expressed about losing you or hanbin. or maybe it was the added stress of gyuvin and gunwook’s story. it could have been something entirely different, but you just couldn't doze off for the life of you. 

you huffed out a frustrated sigh, eventually sitting up from your cocoon on the ground and scanning the areas surrounding the fire. the only one awake was hanbin, taerae having dozed off again shortly after being woken up for his shift. hanbin insisted he didn't mind, especially since everything seemed to be relaxed, but you still felt bad he had to stay awake entirely on his own. 

he glanced over at you, gentle smile quirking up the corners of his mouth as he whispered, “can’t sleep?”

you shook your head as a response, eventually making your way over to his post and plopping down next to him, the fire emitting a slightly warmer flow of air in your direction. hanbin peered down at you, a fond smile ever so slightly on his lips, and you swore the butterflies in your stomach might give your feelings away. instead, you scooted closer to him, resting your head on his shoulder and fixing your gaze on the fire. 

you could feel the pressure of hanbin’s head resting on top of yours, his voice almost inaudible as he asked, “do you think anything will ever return to normal? like sometime in the future, do you think there's a chance things will go back to the way they used to be?”

a heavy silence hung in the air as you pondered his question, absentmindedly beginning to pick at a string hanging down from inside of hanbin’s coat sleeve. you could feel your eyes begin to gloss over as you thought about the nights you'd spend pestering hanbin while he attempted to do his coursework for college, or how you'd always give taerae advice on songs he'd written on his guitar. everything was so much simpler, so much /better./

“i don't think so,” you gave your honest response to him, “i mean, everything is destroyed and gone. it'll take years and years to even get rid of the infected, let alone rebuild the entire country to what it used to be,” a shaky sigh from you followed suit to your words, leaving hanbin to think on them. 

he clicked his tongue, “then i guess we’ll have to make a new normal, right?”

“i suppose so,” you hummed, “but how would we go about that?”

“i don't know, but hopefully we’ll figure it out.”

conversations with hanbin were always something you treasured. he gave you new perspectives on things that you wouldn't have even considered before and logically thought through everything. you admired him for that, and it was one of the many reasons you developed feelings for him in the first place. but you knew, deep down, that you wouldn't be able to live the life you wanted with him. you doubted he even returned your feelings.

besides, there would always be infected in the way.

vii.

having new friends that you actually got along with made a huge difference in your travels. there was a lot more team work, laughs, and supplies that you were able to get your hands on. it was arguably the most productive you'd ever been and the quickest you had gotten to know strangers. it felt like you were friends for your entire life. 

it didn't take gyuvin very long to catch on to your feelings for hanbin, and soon he was teasing you alongside taerae when you weren't in earshot of him. gyuvin’s antics were far less intense, and he asked you lots of questions about why you'd grown so fond of the eldest boy. he listened with open ears and was able to see the mannerisms that hanbin displayed easily after your conversations with him.

it felt nice to just gush to someone who would listen to you. 

you were currently attempting to break into a shed to see if there was any useful weapons inside considering gyuvin’s was starting to give out on him. you lunged forward, hitting your hip into the rotted out door, and it gave way easier than you thought. you coughed as dust and wood chips rained down toward the dilapidated floors. 

there was a lone infected inside, which was fighting for its life to even hobble over toward you, and you swiftly put it out of its misery, watching in disgust as it crumpled to the floor. you stepped over its now limp body, gyuvin's following closely behind, exploring the shed further than just standing in the doorway. you kept your knife out just in case you were to come across anymore, eyes scanning your surroundings in an attempt to fine something that would hold up. 

“i don't think this is a question i asked you yet,” gyuvin broke the silence, “but have you ever considered telling hanbin how you feel?”

you had to hold back from bursting into a fit of laughter, taking a deep breath, before you chuckled, “you and taerae are so similar it's crazy.”

you ducked under a cobweb in front of you, careful not to disrupt it in fear of a spider crawling on you. gyuvin mimicked your actions, inquiring, “why do you say that?”

“he asked me the same exact thing.”

you were now standing in front of a wall of rusted weapons. gyuvin looked slightly defeated, but instead of dwelling on that, he turned his attention back to you, “well, it's not a horrible question. i mean, it's better late than never, right?”

you just giggled at him, crouching down to open up a door on a workbench, “i guess so. maybe i will someday, when we’re in seattle or something. that way if he rejects me, i’ll have a home to go into and sulk.”

gyuvin’s cackle echoed inside the barn. you flared up at him, pulling the machete you found out from the self, pointing it at him jokingly, before you threatened, “keep it up and i’ll cut your head off with this and feed it to an infected.”

“hey!”

you handed your find to gyuvin, who admired it in awe, mouth slightly agape and a plethora of thank you's slipping past his lips. the two of you made your way back outside, meeting up with the other three who were attempting to get a car started, but to no avail. gunwook was turning the key in the ignition but had no success of getting the engine to turn over. 

“i take it this whole car thing is a lost cause?” you inquired, looking at the three of them inquisitively. taerae and hanbin had their heads underneath the hood of the car, inspecting the engine in order to, what you assumed, find out what was wrong with it. 

gunwook attempted to turn the key again, and while the vehicle made sound, it was more along the lines of grinding than anything else. he finally looked at you and gyuvin, “i think so, we’ve been working on it for an hour now and nothing has worked.”

“i mean, we’ve walked this much already. we really can't miss what we never had, right?” gyuvin reasoned as he attached his new machete to is pants. 

gunwook shrugged, “i suppose so,” he looked almost bummed out, “it just would have been nice to take a break from walking.”

hanbin shut the hood of the car, now gaining your attention. his hands were smeared with grease and a fine layer of sweat had broken out across his forehead. you blinked a few times, finally finding it in you to tear your eyes away from him. 

you parted your lips to speak, motioning to the road ahead, “guess we better get moving while it's still light out.”

— — —

you’d volunteered to take the last shift of watch for the night. you knew you wouldn't really be able to sleep anyway, so you didn't mind, and would rather everyone else get some well deserved rest instead. this was a common thing for you now, not being able to sleep. you just couldn't get your mind to ever shut up. usually, it was creating the most morbid scenarios, which would either cause nightmares or for you to be so paranoid you felt you had to stay awake. 

you supposed that's what came with life during an apocalypse, but it didn't make it any easier. you wished so badly that you could just go back to normal, or that this was just some cruel, twisted dream you could wake up from. but it wasn't, and you were stuck here fantasizing about a life you would never have again. 

the fire crackled softly, illuminating the surrounding area in a peaceful orange glow. you could hear the soft breaths of everyone, a slight snore emitting from taerae, and you smiled to yourself. seeing the people you'd grown to care about so still and calm brought a sense of comfort to you, and almost made it feel like you were at a sleepover of some sort. 

you heaved a sigh, drawing your knees up to your chest and resting your chin on your arms. you sat like that for a while, mind reeling with all the opportunities you were missing out on, and a stray tear raced down your face. there was gentle rustling next to you, and soon after, hanbin rose up from his place on the ground, a sleepy smile stretching across the expanse of his face. 

“i feel bad you're not getting any rest,” his voice was raspy with sleep as he spoke. he shifted his body so he could be sitting up next to you. he extended his legs in front of him, a yawn catching him by surprise, “if you want to try and get some before we leave, i can take over watch.”

you pondered it for a moment, finally nodding in defeat, and began to stretch out on the ground yourself. however, he caught you off guard, putting his lap, and murmuring, “you can use me as a pillow if you want, i know not having one isn't the most ideal.”

you could feel your heartbeat in your throat at his offer, silently nodding as you shifted your weight around, finally settling onto the ground and lowering your head onto his thighs, a content sigh slipping past your lips. you had to admit, he was right, and you didn't think you would be doing this when you first woke up that morning. hanbin pulled the blanket over you, enveloping you in a warmth you hadn't felt in a very long time.

delicately, he threaded his fingers through your hair, and your eyes fluttered shut at the contact. you sighed contentedly, mumbling a soft, “thank you,” to which hanbin chuckled quietly.

the feeling of his hand massaging your scalp caused your body to relax much quicker than you thought it would, and you were soon fighting to stay awake and relish in the feeling of it. before you finally succumbed to sleep, you swore you could could hear him barely whisper, “i’ll be here when you wake up, my love.”

viii.

“y/n, hanbin, wake up!” a voice pulled you from the surprisingly deep slumber you had fallen into despite the frigidly cold temperatures. an extremely panicked voice, though, the person’s hands gripping your shoulder and shaking you lightly in an attempt to get you to hurry. 

you shot up from your nest of blankets and hanbin’s legs, body close to taerae the moment you did so. your gaze locked with his, and instantly, you knew something was horribly wrong. he was quick to answer your suspicions, “infected, there’s a lot and we need to get moving,” hanbin cursed quietly under his breath next to you, angry at himself for even dozing back off in the first place. 

quick to get on your feet, you began shoving the blankets into your bag - rather haphazardly, might you add - your hands shaking from the anxiety you felt from the situation. hanbin remained close to you throughout the process, packing away the food you guys had left sitting out through the night. you glanced around, taking note that the other three were still within your line of vision, and you felt slightly relieved knowing everyone was still in a general vicinity of one another. 

a deep, rumbling growl resonated to the left of you. you turned, being greeted by an infected with outstretched arms haphazardly swinging at you, and his jaw hanging slack as he approached you. his flesh was missing in chunks around his cheekbones and his eyes were beginning to sink in from the disease. his hair was in matted, pale blonde tufts on his head. you’d never gotten the chance to actually see an infected’s features in tact like this before, and to say you were shocked was an understatement. he must have been freshly turned. 

you scrambled backwards the closer he approached, pulling your knife out from its holster on your pant leg. however, the pained cry of gyuvin stopped you from killing it right then and there.

“ricky?” 

the walker turned his head quickly at the sound of his name and you felt your heart lurch in your chest. the boy was attempting to run forward, but gunwook was able to wrap his arms around him before he could make it any further, “gyu, you can’t, there’s no saving him. you know that.”

you made eye contact with his brother, desperately searching for what to do, but his solemn and knowing expression told you everything. he turned gyuvin around, pulling him close to his chest, one of his hands holding the back of his head as he sobbed, “don’t look, okay?”

to ensure you didn’t overthink what you were about to do, you swung your knife forward, sinking it deep into the side of ricky’s neck. he sputtered loudly, dark crimson blood spraying out from the wound and onto your hand and sleeve of your jacket, some of it speckling on your face in the process. you twisted the knife and pressed your boot to his chest to shove him away as he fell, throwing your bag onto your back in a haste. 

“come on, there’s more following in behind him,” hanbin grabbed onto your arm the moment you hesitated, realizing just exactly what you had done. 

it wasn’t supposed to be difficult killing infected, yet here you were.

you followed behind him, meeting up with the rest of the group before everyone began to run on the same road you had been following to seattle. none of you really had time to take in everything that had happened in the past five minutes due to the large mob following hot on your trail, their wicked screams echoing through the empty fields that surrounded you. 

your breathing was erratic, legs and lungs both burning from the amount of energy you were putting into getting away from them. the road was slick with thick ice and it made it difficult to get any sort of traction. over the yelling, you were able to make out taerae’s voice, “keep an eye out for any kind of shelter!”

you squinted, scanning for anything up ahead that could prove useful to the group of you. however, gunwook was the first to notice something, “right over there! it looks like an old farmhouse!”

you took a sharp turn onto the gravel driveway that led up to quite a tucked away house, pushing your legs to go faster. the sooner you got there, the better it was for the group overall. the mob behind you was starting to lessen the more you ran, thankfully, and by time you got to the front door the five of you only had to kill a few before you could stop and catch your breath. 

nobody hesitated to go inside, careful to clear each room and make sure infected hadn’t wandered in. taerae rounded the corner of the kitchen, announcing, “i think we’re safe for now. we should probably rest for a minute before we leave again.”

“would it hurt to explore? see what this place has to offer?” gyuvin asked, the tremble in his voice hard to miss as he spoke. tears stained his face, streaked through the layers of dirt caked on his cheeks and revealing the pale skin beneath it. he was suffering, and rightfully upset, so you knew there was no consoling him until he was able to calm down and have some time to just himself. 

hanbin gauged everyone’s reactions, eyes resting on your blood splattered face, gaze softening. he parted his chapped lips, stating, “honestly, depending on what’s here, we could always stay for a few days and actually think of a better plan instead of just winging it and something like this happening again.”

“i’d have to agree on this one,” gunwook replied, “i don't want something like that to ever happen again, really.”

everyone wordlessly began to rummage around in the house, searching for anything that could be useful. you took note of how clean the place was despite the apocalypse occurring in the outside world. you turned into the bathroom, twisting the knob of the faucet on as a joke, only to be pleasantly surprised at the sound of running water. “guys! the water here works!” you called, dipping your finger under the stream, excitement bubbling into the pit of your belly, “and it’s warm!”

“the pantries and fridge are stocked full of food as well,” hanbin piped up, the excitement evident in his voice, “and there’s power? this place is loaded!”

“the people who were here previously must either be out or newly turned,” taerae remarked. 

it only brought you to the harsh reality of what had just happened. 

your gaze snapped up to your reflection in the mirror. ricky’s blood managed to get smeared across your cheek and mixed into the dirt and grime that had made a home on your skin quite some time ago now. your hand was stained red and your sleeve still heavily damp with blood, which you swore you could smell, and it made you feel sick.

you hurriedly shut the door and fell to your knees in front of the toilet, wretching at the stench and realization that you killed someone’s brother, gyuvin and gunwook’s brother, and you had to live with that for the remainder of time you were with them. a soft cry pushed out of your lungs as you vomited again, completely emptying the contents of your stomach, and you felt you couldn't do it another time. you flushed the toilet and sighed, staring at yourself in the mirror once more.

a quiet knock was able to be heard on the bathroom door and you opened it, greeted by hanbin, who’s eyes were concerned and his lips were contorted into a deep frown. “y/n?” hanbin’s voice was soft, “are you okay?”

and you burst into tears. 

hanbin pulled you close, his embrace strong around your body. you were sure you’d collapse onto the ground if he wasn’t holding onto you at that moment. he rocked your bodies slightly, humming into your ear as a means to calm you down in some sort of way, “you did what you had to do. gunwook wouldn’t have told you to do it if he didn’t think it was necessary.” 

you tried like hell to get the butterflies in your stomach to go away as he pressed a quick, comforting kiss to the crown of your head. not when you had just killed gyuvin’s brother and you were reaping the consequences of that. 

you shook your head, getting ready to respond to him, but were stopped by the sound of gyuvin choking on his sobs as he sat on the couch. gunwook’s voice attempted to comfort him, “i know it hurts, but you and i both know ricky would rather be put out of his misery than stay infected.”

“i could have prevented this all, wook, that’s the problem.”

“don’t do that to yourself. he wouldn’t have let you stay with him no matter the circumstances,” gunwook reassured him, “let’s go see about a bath for you and clean up, yeah? maybe that’ll make you feel better.”

their voices faded away as they headed upstairs. you gripped onto hanbin tighter, fists balled into the fabric of his jacket, letting out your own cry. you wouldn't blame gyuvin if he hated you for the rest of your time together. you would be angry if the roles were reversed, so you couldn't even fault him for that.

“y/n, i think maybe we need to do what gyuvin and gunwook are doing and get you cleaned up,” hanbin was gentle with you, pulling away from the hug slightly to get a better look at your face. his thumb came up to wipe the fresh tears away from your eyes, and you found solace in how nicely he was treating you. 

you sat there for a moment, relishing in the feeling, before you pulled out of the hug to avoid getting overwhelmed with any more emotions, shrugging your jacket off to rid yourself of the reminder of what you’d done not even an hour ago. you sat down on the toilet after putting the lid down and allowed hanbin to get a shower started, your entire body going numb in the process.

at this point, you hoped an infected would take you.

viiii.

you felt unusually warm, though you weren’t complaining in the slightest. sighing softly, you shifted around on the mattress beneath you, tired eyes attempting to open but failing miserably. an arm was slung lazily around you, soft breaths of the sleeping boy in front of you the only thing able to be heard other than the rustling of the blankets.

you finally gained the energy to open your eyes, at least halfway, and you were greeted by the sight of a peaceful looking hanbin, his hair sitting beautifully across his forehead and his lips curled up slightly in the corners. 

your heart felt like it was found to beat out of your chest. You had cuddled with both him and taerae a number of times throughout your attempts to survive, but never like this. you were the only one in the room with the dark haired boy, eyes trained on his serene face and your stomach doing backflips.

hanbin took a deep breath, his eyelids fluttering open, and he gazed at you with a quiet chuckle. he parted his lips to speak, voice deep and raspy from having just awoken from his slumber, “good morning, sleepyhead.”

“i don’t think i’m the sleepyhead here,” you giggled, poking your index finger into his chest, “i was awake way before you were.” you paused before asking, “how did i end up in your bed, anyway?”

though he woke up with a slightly playful demeanor, it quickly faded with a frown that tugged harshly at his lips, his brows creased and his eyes searching yours, “i figured you were too out of it to remember. you had a really rough night trying to grasp the fact that you killed ricky. taerae had fallen asleep relatively early and i just offered for you to sleep in here so you didn’t have to be alone.”

you were so caught up in the bliss of feeling safe and warm you almost forgot about ricky. 

hanbin caught on quickly to your mood change and to the fact that tears instantly glossed your eyes over. he reached his hand out, calloused thumb collecting the liquid as it dropped down onto your cheeks.

“you did what you had to,” he reassured.

all you had to offer him was a sad smile, “it definitely doesn’t feel like it. i wouldn’t be surprised if gyuvin doesn’t talk to me at all, i know if the roles were reversed i wouldn’t say a thing to him.”

he opened up his arms for you, inviting you to snuggle deeper into his chest. you obliged, allowing the boy to hold you while soft sobs erupted from your lips. quietly, he said, “once he realizes you did it out of good intentions he’ll come around. i know he will.”

you nodded, trying your best to convince yourself that what he was telling you had some sort of truth to it. you closed your eyes and relished in the boy's embrace, fearing that he would be able to hear how loud your heart was beating while you laid with him like this. you felt his lips graze your forehead, his warm breath fanning across your skin as he said, “i have something i wanted to tell you.”

you opened your eyes back up at his words, looking at him inquisitively, “what's that?”

“i know now might not be a good time, but i just wanted to tell you that i have a c-”

he was interrupted by the sound of knuckles rapping against the door to your shared room, “hanbin?” taerae’s voice called from the other side. 

the door knob twisted and he swung it open, beginning to step into the room before stopping dead in his tracks at the sight of the two of you cuddled up together. his posture was still and something unreadable flashed in his eyes, his tone monotonous as he spoke, “apparently i’m interrupting something, but i just wanted to let you know that gunwook is almost done cooking breakfast for whenever you decide to join us.”

with that, he shut the door rather harshly in his wake, the sound of his heavy footsteps receding down the stairs the only thing filling the silence he left behind. sighing, hanbin was the first to speak, “i assume he’s in one of his moods.”

“probably so,” you agreed with a nod, “i’m going to head down and attempt some sort of damage control. maybe we can finish this conversation later?”

hanbin nodded, “okay, i’m going to change my clothes and i’ll be down after that,” he replied offering you a soft, reassuring smile as you slipped your boots on and opened the door. 

once you reached the dining room, you took note of taerae’s hostile attitude as he shoved scrambled eggs down his throat, his facial features set in a deep scowl. he looked up when you entered, shoving his chair back, the legs scraping harshly against the floor. the boy rose to his feet and stalked past you, spitting, “i’m going on a walk.”

“you can’t go alone, it’s too dangerous,” gunwook called out in an attempt to get taerae to stay within the confines of the farmhouse. 

taerae scoffed, “i don’t think i fucking asked.”

he stepped out onto the front porch and began walking down the gravel driveway, his hands shoved into his pockets as he did so. you heaved a sigh, “i’ll go with him. i think it’s me he’s upset with anyway.”

“just be safe, we can’t afford to lose anyone,” gyuvin’s voice was quiet, but you still gave him an appreciative smile before following taerae out the door. 

you broke into a jog to catch up with his long stride, finally managing to walk beside him. you grabbed his arm, stopping him in his tracks. searching his eyes, you asked, “what’s wrong? did i do something?”

a look of annoyance adorned his face as he shook your hand away, “when i said i was going on a walk, i meant /without you/.” he started walking again, this time his pace much quicker than before in an attempt to get you to go back to the house. however, you were just as stubborn as he was. you stood your ground and continued following him.

“i don’t think it’s very fair for you to be in a pissy mood with everyone and not give a reason as to why,” you snapped, now gaining his full attention as he whipped around to face you, anger evident in his eyes. 

“you’re joking, right? /i’m/ the one being unfair?” he scoffed, “that’s rich coming from you, y/n.”

you gave him a dry laugh, rolling your eyes in the process, “i don’t even know what i did.”

“go ask your new boyfriend, i’m sure he could know.”

“so that’s what you’re upset about? we literally just shared a bed,” your futile attempt to reason with him went in one ear and out the other as he turned his back to you again and trudged onto a path in the woods, his fists balled up beside him. 

he suddenly stopped in a clearing, his shoulders tensing and his head bowed as if he were contemplating something. he sucked in a breath, though you didn’t expect him to raise his voice at you, “i don’t think you’re capable of understanding signs that are put directly in front of you and it’s so fucking frustrating!”

“i genuinely don't know what you're talking about taerae, please just tell me so we can fix it,” you shouted back, “it's not okay to just yell at me and not give a reason why.”

taerae closed his eyes and took a deep breath, almost as if to calm himself down, and in a completely different tone he said, “i just feel like you and hanbin are excluding me. it's obvious you two like each other and i just feel like an outcast now.”

“first of all, i doubt hanbin likes me back,” you started, holding your hand up to hush him when he tried to interrupt you, “and second, i’m sorry if we have made you feel that way. i never want you to feel sad because of something i have done, so i will do better and fix it.” 

taerae nodded, “i’m sorry for yelling at you.”

“it's okay, if you have any other issues just come to me like this instead of getting mad and storming out,” you playfully scolded, beginning to walk back toward the house. hanbin was stood in the doorway watching the two of you, a fond smile on his face. 

taerae leaned over, whispering in your ear, “he's crazy about you, trust me.”

you blushed a deep red, smacking him on the arm, “stop it!”

“just speaking the truth,” he shrugged matter-of-factly, unable to suppress the grin on his face as he bounded up the stairs and greeted hanbin, returning to the dining table to finish up his breakfast.

you stopped outside, locking your gaze with hanbin's, trying like crazy not to blush or make it obvious that you were flustered. he was quick to ask, “is everything okay now?”

“yeah, he just needed calmed down,” you told him, laughing as you said, “i’m shocked we didn't get attacked by infected with how loud he was yelling.”

“maybe he scared them away,” hanbin mused. 

hanbin allowed you to enter the house first, muttering something about how you should have grabbed a jacket because it's freezing out, and you playfully bantered as you sat at the table with the rest of the group. you were across from taerae, who gave you a knowing look, and you had to look away from him.

it was comical to watch him try not to yell because you kicked him under the table.

x.

your group had made the decision to stay at the farmhouse until you ran out of resources. its owners never returned, never fended you away from their property or supplies, and you sure as hell didn't want anyone else to take it from you. besides, if you could be stable there for a bit, it would give ample time to rest and complete your journey to seattle when it was warmer outside.

spring came quicker than you'd hoped, but while the weather was still unpredictable, you didn't plan on going anywhere. instead, you build a functioning garden to at least try and sustain yourselves as much as possible, opting to grow some vegetables. you mainly took care of them, which is where you were currently, your hands deep in the potting soil in an attempt to move a few of your crops around to some bigger pots you'd found in the shed a couple days ago. 

your heart jolted in your chest when a figure crouched down next to you, but soon relaxed upon seeing it was hanbin, offering you a helping hand, “i always feel bad you're out here doing this on your own most days.”

“i don't mind it, really,” you shrugged, scooping up some dirt in your hand and patting it around the plant to stabilize it in its new home, “it brings a little bit of comfort, reminds me of the days before the outbreak.”

he nodded in understanding, helping you finish up what you were doing before he quietly asked, “wanna go for a walk?”

you weren't sure why he was suddenly asking this, but you could use a break to stretch out your legs. you you wiped your hands off on your jeans to shake the excess dirt off, and then ran them under the water spigot to clean them as much as you could. hanbin opened up the gate after you signaled you were ready, allowing you to go first and step down onto the path you used to walk down to the creek in the woods.

a comfortable silence fell between the two of you, the quiet chirps of the birds filling your ears and the cool breeze ruffling through your hair. it was peaceful, and you had to admit, it was bringing you a sense of happiness you hadn't felt in such a long time. 

hanbin stopped once he got to a clearing, settling down on a patch of grass by the water and patting the spot next to him for you. plopping down almost instantly, you quirked an eyebrow up at him, questioning, “is there any particular reason we’re here?”

while you expected him to say he just wanted to make sure you were giving yourself a break, he surprised you by answering, “yeah, actually, there is.”

you cocked your head to the side, silently urging him to go on. he nervously swallowed, finally turning to face you, a sudden confidence dancing in his dark irises, “you know that conversation we were having a couple weeks ago before taerae threw his tantrum?”

“yes?” you answered hesitantly, not entirely sure where he was wanting to go with this. you felt the butterflies in your belly begin to dance when you took note of the way his eyes briefly flickered down to your lips, but it was over as soon as it happened. 

“well, um, i just wanted to finish that conversation, because it's been bothering me for a while and i just need to get this out.”

his burning gaze met yours, a fond smile curling up the corners of his mouth. you could feel your heart begin to beat in your chest, praying to god he couldn't tell how visibly flustered you were. he reached his hand up to brush a strand of your hair out of your face, parting his lips to speak, “i have a crush on you, y/n, i have for a while.”

while it was a simple confession, it was something you would treasure for the rest of your life. it was a breath of fresh air amidst chaos and fear, something that made you feel like you were floating for the first time since the outbreak. you felt stupid smiling so big, but to mask your hint of embarrassment, you told him, “i have a crush on you too, bin. i feel like it's been obvious.”

“not really,” he said, “i could kind of pick up little hints, but it was nothing too major. you honestly held it in well, i was worried you wouldn't return the feelings.”

“well, i promise i do.”

hanbin took your relaxed stance as a sign cup your cheek with his hand, inching closer and closer, finally muttering, “can i?”

you timidly smiled, feeling a blush creep onto your cheeks, “of course.”

without any hesitation, he closed the distance between the two of you, melding your lips together perfectly. you weren't sure if it was because he was hanbin, and he was perfect already, or if it was because this moment had been anticipated for so long by the both of you, but it was everything you could have ever asked for. he filled you with warmth and made you melt into his touch. your eyes fluttered shut, relishing in the moment before he broke away, his forehead pressed against yours, “i can't wait to do that more often.”

“me either,” you smiled, leaning forward again to steal another kiss from him, “i think i could get used to it.”

the two of you decided to scrounge around and look for any useful supplies before you went back to the farmhouse. you found a canteen and a gas lantern by the water, assuming someone had left it there - whether it was on purpose or not, you'll never know - and attempted to find anything else before you began your trek back up the trail to the farmhouse. 

you began laughing the moment you caught sight of taerae on the front porch a “thank fucking god” erupting from

his lips the moment he saw your fingers intertwined with one another. he said something along the lines of it being painful to watch the mutual pining and no one making a move. you nudged him playfully, admitting to him that he was right. 

your group would be leaving out within the next few weeks, and you anticipated everything seattle had to offer you, and you could only hope it would be as good as this.

it was close.

xi.

saying goodbye to the farmhouse was a lot harder than you hoped it would be. while you knew it was for the best, it killed you to leave running water, a thriving garden, and cozy bed to sleep in every single night. you knew you would have those things in seattle, but the remainder of the traveling there was going to be difficult, mainly because you'd all gotten spoiled on the luxury of not worrying about where you'll be staying. 

you set out on the rest of your journey early that morning, backpacks filled to the brim with supplies and plenty of food and water to get you through what you hoped would only be a week. you didn't run into many issues along the way, and had made an agreement to meet on the outskirts of the city if everything went wrong; and you hoped it wouldn't. 

the air was thick with humidity, and the feeling of grime caked on your skin wasn't something you missed by any means. you were filled with hope upon seeing a metal sign on the side of the road, and while it was rusting and filled with holes, you saw the words outlines clearly in white, highly contrasting with the green background.

seattle, 1 mile.

you gave hanbin’s hand a firm squeeze, peering up at him

through your lashes, and feeling tears sting at your eyes. you were finally almost to the place you would call home, where you could get as normal of a life as possible, and you'd be able to do it with your friends and boyfriend. maybe, just maybe, it was finally your time to have something really good happen for you. 

“what kind of food do you think they make there?” gyuvin asked, earning laughs from most of the group, and you all began to make small talk of what was to come, unknowingly picking up your pace. 

the sun was beginning to set, casting a beautiful glow across the horizon, and illuminating the sight in front of you. it was breathtaking, and making you all the more excited to finally get inside the safety of the gates that lie ahead.

but the harsh reality was, in this lifetime, nothing good lasted forever. 

something felt off as you approached the edge of the city. there were no signs of life to be found; you were greeted with empty streets and eerie silence. taerae stopped in his tracks, eyes frantically searching the map, a mantra of “no, no, no” falling from his lips at a million miles a minute.

“what's wrong?” gyuvin inquired, peeking over taerae's shoulder to see if he could figure it out himself, but to no avail. taerae folded up the map in frustration, shoving it in his back locked, and turning to the group to say, “there is no settlement.”

gunwook’s voice held a hint of worry, “why do you say that?”

taerae chuckled frustratedly, spinning around with his arms wide open, motioning to the deserted, crumbling city around you, “we went exactly to the place you said those people told you to, and here we are, with no other person in sight,” he quickly met gazes with you and hanbin, “we're completely doomed.”

“maybe we can try going back to the farmhouse, we were doing so well there,” hanbin suggested, attempting to bring some sort of level headedness to your current situation, but taerae was far from receptive to it. 

he began walking around, his behavior growing a little more irrational. he turned around, pointing at gyuvin and gunwook, who both adorned bewildered looks, and stated through gritted teeth, “this is all your fault, i knew we shouldn't have listened to you.”

“kim taerae!” you intervened, catching the attention of the dark haired boy, a glint of anger evident in his expression, “you are being a little ridiculous, we can figure something out.”

“no, we can't,” he scoffed, “we traveled miles and miles and miles to be greeted with nothing, i feel like my frustration is completely justified,” taerae allowed a yell to rip through his lungs, the sole of his boot loudly stomping on a bent “welcome to seattle” sign that had made its home on the crumbling concrete beneath you. 

before anyone could hush him, or ask if he was stupid, the resonating sound of infected filled your ears, but it was unlike anything you'd ever heard before. it sent panic shooting straight to the pit of your stomach, and it wasn't long before the filled your line of vision completely. 

hundreds of them.

the five of you began to run, desperately trying to stick together, but it was proving to be a lot more difficult than you thought. you heard hanbin holler a “split up” before you headed off into different directions, gyuvin and gunwook together one way, and your original trio the other. you clung to hanbin's hand for dear life, keeping careful watch of taerae to make sure he was keeping up. 

you were all too soon met with a fork in your path, and hanbin was quick to think on his feet, letting go of your hand and pushing you toward taerae with an apologetic smile, quickly telling him, “make sure to keep them safe.”

you let out a cry, “hanbin, no!” but it was too late, because he was taking a pipe and banging it on a dumpster nearby, gaining the attention of the infected that had been hot on your trail, and pushing his legs to move him faster down the alley and out of your line of vision. 

you attempted to run after him, but taerae grabbed your arm and pulled you back. you shook yourself from his grasp, screaming through your tears, “we can't leave him, taerae,” a sob raking over your body, “please!”

“hanbin will be fine, y/n, he always is,” taerae reasoned with you, “he'll make it back to us and you know it.”

before you could argue with him anymore, taerae was grabbing your arm again and dragging you along with him, attempting to find the edge of the city again. your legs were burning with each push you made to keep running, and by time you finally made it to a clearing, your lungs felt like they could collapse at any given moment. 

you desperately looked around, trying to find hanbin, or gyuvin and gunwook, and your eyes finally settled on the trembling figures of the two brothers on the ground up ahead, panting hard and trembling from the realization of the events that just occurred. 

you caught up to them, but before you could say anything, you turned around to face taerae, finally allowing the rage you'd managed to keep at bay during that mess to unleash itself on him, “i cannot believe you would put our whole group on jeopardy like that,” you stepped toward him, palms of your hands meeting his chest and shoving him backwards, “you made hanbin feel like he had no choice but to sacrifice himself so we could live, you know that right?” 

taerae’s mouth opened and closed like a fish out of water, not knowing what at all to say to you. scoffing, you said, “you are so fuckinh selfish.”

with that, you stormed off, ignore everyone’s futile attempts of getting you to calm down. the three ended up following behind you, making sure to keep your remaining group together as night approached, and you eventually stopped and set up camp for the night, but refused to utter a single word to taerae. 

you could only hope hanbin would survive the night.

— — —

you and the other three waited on the outskirts of the city like you planned, anxiously awaiting hanbin’s arrival to your small camp, if it ever came. it had been hours now, and you were still not speaking to taerae, now having graduated to refusing to look at him. his attempts at apologizing to you were futile, because he knew sorry would never be enough to heal the ache in your heart and the constant worrying on your mind.

as the morning sun broke through the sky, you sat in front of the smoldering fire, knees drawn up to your chest and eyes stinging with fresh tears. gyuvin was sat down next to you, his hand rubbing your back in a comforting way, his presence greatly appreciated, but you had a hard time croaking anything out.

a flash of brilliant red came into your vision, causing you to finally tear your gaze away from the ashes before you, seeing a rain of fiery glitter shimmering down from the sky in waves. you blinked a few times, wondering if your mind was playing tricks on you, but gyuvin had stopped rubbing your back in return for staring at the sight before you, mouth agape.

it had to be hanbin.

you began silently packing your things into your backpack, gyuvin closely following suit, but you were interrupted by taerae’s voice piercing the silence, “what are you doing?”

“what's it matter to you?” you snapped, managing to look at him, nostrils flaring in annoyance. he held his hands up in defense. muttering, “i’m just trying to watch out for you, y/n.”

you stepped toward him, teeth gritted and your patience with him wearing dangerously thin. you pointed to the color illuminating the sky, your words assertive, “that could be hanbin, and i’ll be damned if you stop me from going to look when you're the reason this happened in the first place. whether you come or not isn't my problem, but if you want to prove you're worthy of forgiveness, you’ll come with.”

you turned on your heels, back now facing him, and met the determined gazes of gyuvin and gunwook, who signaled they were ready to follow you back into the heart of the city.

you trudged onward, careful not to let the thudding of your boots draw attention to you, and glanced behind your back, taking note of taerae following suit. good.

it wasn't long before you made it through the entrance to the forgotten city, and you slunk against walls to keep a low profile in case a hoard of infected were still nearby. you felt your heart beating in your throat, a layer of sweat now coating your forehead in anticipation for what was to come.

another flare was lit, this time much closer to where you previously were. you dashed across the street from one alley to the next, taking note of the same dumpster that hanbin had hit before he ran on his own path. you figured following it wouldn'td hurt, and led your group onward through the maze of rubble, the stench of the flare smoke now filling your nostrils.

before you could take another step forward, gunwook grabbed your hand and pulled you back down into a crouch, his finger pressed over his lips before he pointed ahead, a bus in the distance, but a crowd of about 15 infected surrounding it. they seemed desperate to get something, and as your eyes trailed up, you realized it was someone.

hanbin.

he looked up, a wave of relief washing over his face upon seeing the four of you few yards away from him, and you fought back your tears as you made a cutthroat motion to the other theee, quietly creeping along the edge of the road, planning to sneak attack the infected.

taerae was the first to leap forward, twisting an infected’s neck with a sickening crack. its body crumpled to the ground, falling entirely lifeless within an instant, and it didn't take long for the rest of you to follow in his footsteps. you swung forward, your motions eerily similar to when you killed ricky months back, blood sputtering out from the infected and soaking through your clothes.

but this time, you didn't care. you continued your actions, the putrid smell of iron and rotting flesh violating your nose, but within a few minutes the crowd was gone, and you were surrounded by bodies on the road. you quickly entered the inside of the bus, noticing there was only a few seats left inside, and a previously made shelter from someone else having been made in the back.

taerae pulled the doors shut to prevent any other infected getting inside, visibly relaxing once he realized your group was safe for now. hanbin slipped down from the top of the bus, his hair disheveled, and exhaustion evident in his expression and body language. you moved forward to give him a hug, but he stepped back, shaking his head at you.

you felt your stomach twist in a knot, “hanbin?”

his next words were ones that would have made you fall to your knees if he wasn't standing directly in front of you, “i got bit.”

it felt as if all the air had been sucked out of the small space, the entire group falling into a dreadful silence.

you blinked back tears for millionth time in the last few hours, swallowing harshly as you met your eyes with his, desperately trying to see if he was pulling some cruel joke. you laughed, “no, no that's not possible! you're fine hanbin, you don't have to pull my leg like that.”

his frown only deepened, and he took a step forward, pulling the sleeve of his jacket up to reveal a gnarly wound on the inside of his forearm, the resemblance of teeth marks deeply penetrating his skin. blood oozed from the gashes, and the flesh surrounding it appeared as though had already begun to rot away.

“what are we going to to do?” taerae asked, and you almost turned around to slap him, but somehow managed to contain yourself.

hanbin’s expression said everything you needed to know. his next sentence was quiet, and had the nobody there been completely still, you wouldn't have been able to hear it, “i’m going to have to take care of it myself, i won’t let the virus take over. i don't want to be one of them.”

“hanbin, no,” taerae said, “we can't just let you kill yourself, there has to be another way.”

“but there's not, taerae,” hanbin’s tone was gentle but firm, “there's no cure, and i won't be able to handle being one of those disgusting creatures,” a tear raced down his cheek, “i have no other choice, unless one of you do it for me, and i would never ask that of you.”

you didn't feel like yourself as the gears turned in your head, before you finally asked, “can we at least say goodbye?”

his eyes softened, and he nodded in return. you let the others go before you, gunwook and gyuvin going first, thanking him for allowing them to tag along, and always making sacrifices to make sure everyone else was taken care of.

you didn't miss the sobs shaking taerae’s body when he went, their hug the tightest one you had ever seen. “i’m so sorry” moving past his lips repeatedly, and hanbin kept reassuring him quietly. the two had a quiet conversation, hanbin’s gaze intensely staring into taerae in what you assumed was advice on how to move forward.

and then it was your turn.

your legs felt like jelly as you collapsed into his embrace, his arms sturdy and the scent of his cologne having barely lingered on his clothes as you burning your face into his chest. you could feel him breaking down, and the two of you cried more than you ever have before. he pulled back a little bit, pressing a deep, loving kiss onto your lips, and you could taste the salt of your tears mixing in between.

he looked at you, adoration in his eyes, as he whispered, “i love you, y/n.”

your bottom lip quivered, and you were barely able to get out an “i love you” in return, relishing in your final moment with him. you shifted a bit, slipping your dagger out from the inside of your sleeve. you pushed it between his ribs, hearing him softly grunt in pain, and a quiet “thank you” coming from him.

he grew weaker by the minute, and you helped him lower to the ground. laying him down on his back and settling down next to him, your hand coated with the warm bloom spilling from his body. your free hand reached up and pushed his hair out of his eyes. thumb moving down to collect his tears as his eyes fluttered shut and the breath left his body.

your pained weeping echoed throughout the barren wasteland around you, and you wanted so badly to turn back time, to do something differently, because if you did, he would still be alive. you'd still be searching for seattle.

“Baby, what’s wrong?” he asked softly, “It’s nothing” You sighed “Is it about work?” “Well, yeah” “Do you want to tell me-” “It’s none of your business really” You cut him off, raising your voice due to frustration, “Hey, is it that bad? It’s rare for you to act like this” he sighed, trying to figure out the thing that has been bothering you, “If you’re struggling so much, you know I-” “Hanbin, stop” You cut off your boyfriend for the nth of time.

It’s not like you want to shout at your boyfriend who was just trying to help, in fact, you needed someone to listen to you, but all those built-up emotions inside you are holding you back from saying a single word without crying, making it hard for you to express yourself to your boyfriend. “Stop talking to me when I’m like this, I’m seriously so mad right now, I just need some time to think, It’s so annoying that you’re always so-” “Babe.” Your voice raised with each and every word that came out of your mouth, but Hanbin’s stern voice stopped you from continuing your sentence, “I know you’re mad right now, but I need you to listen” he continues, his tone was still as stern as before “So can I have my turn to speak?” he raised an eyebrow, earning a signal from you to speak.

“I know the kind of person you are, and you like to keep things to yourself, but at this point, you’re just hurting yourself babe, I mean, look, do you think I don’t notice how much you’ve been struggling these days? You haven’t gotten any good sleep babe, It hurts me to see you like this.” he sighed, sitting down on the chair beside you “Of course you can keep some things to yourself, I’m no one to know about each and everything that you keep, but sometimes you act like I’m not even an option to rant out to. I’m your boyfriend, and one of the most important things I have to do for you is just to listen to you, so let me do that, okay?” he spoke out, his tone softening more and more, speaking to you while his eyes looked at you with so much sincerity.

When you heard his voice as he said those words, your tears couldn’t hold themselves anymore, as they just came straight down from your eyes. When Hanbin saw you tear up, he immediately opened his arms for you, wrapping his arms around your body tightly, “I’m sorry bin” you cried as you buried your face in his chest “It’s fine, You’re fine babe, I’m not mad at you” he smiled, patting your head softly while comforting you, “Let’s sleep, it’s getting late, we can do your work tomorrow, yeah?” he chuckled, his dimples showing, “Sounds like a plan” You yawn, smiling back at Hanbin before earning a quick kiss on the lips.

( english version of the chat )

After Hanbin went downstairs to the meeting room, he saw Liz and Rei talking to Gunwook, when they saw Hanbin approaching, Liz walked closer to him, “Bin, look! Prop kita buat besok di jatohin cewe kamu” ( “Bin, look! Your girlfriend broke the prop for tomorrow” ) She pouted, trying to get Hanbin’s attention “Ga mungkin, aluna dari tadi di perpus” ( “No way, aluna has been in the library the whole time” ) “Ya aluna rusakin nya kemaren kali, dia doang yang masuk ruang meeting” ( “Well maybe aluna broke it yesterday, she’s the only one who came in here” ) “Dia masuk kesini karena aku suruh ambilin handphone, dia ga bakal berani nyentuh prop, Liz.” ( “She only came in here because i told her to take my phone, she wont be brave enough to even touch the props, Liz.” ) “Just because she’s your girlfriend, you don’t have to defend her like that” She scoffed.

“I heard my name, did I do something?” Aluna asked when she entered the door “Hello? knock?” Liz rolled her eyes “Lo kenapa sih?” ( “Dude what’s wrong with you?” ) Gunwook whispered, gently pushing her shoulders, Hanbin glanced at Liz, but his eyes quickly softens when he looked at Aluna, “Did you break a prop?” he asked nicely “Huh? Which prop?” Aluna asked confusedly, “Aduh jujur aja sih, kemaren kamu ga sengaja ngerusak prop event kita kan?” ( “Ugh just be honest, You accidentally broke a prop for our event yesterday right?” ) Liz said to Aluna, trying to make Aluna cover up her mistake.

Gunwook saw Liz coming out of the meeting room all panicked yesterday, and he came inside to check the room and saw that she have broke the prop, but she’s putting the blame on Aluna now. Being the good friend he is, Gunwook told Hanbin about what happened the other day, giving him a clear explanation of the truth.

“Oh..Iya, itu aku ga sengaja rusakin” ( “Oh..yeah, I accidentaly broke that” ) Aluna spoke out hesitantly, Liz have always been like this towards Aluna, the reason being that she has a crush on Hanbin like all the other girls in campus, and she thinks that she deserves Hanbin more than a stupid junior, meanwhile Aluna has never been the brave type, especially towards her seniors, meaning that she’ll take the blame when it comes to these situations. “Tuh kan, udah dibilang!” ( “See, I told you!” ) Liz scoffed, showing a satisfied expression, “I’m sorry, I’ll make up for it” Aluna sighed, Hanbin could only look at her, it hurts him to see his girlfriend being like this, “Yaudah aku pulang duluan ya? Besok aku gantiin kok kak” ( “I’ll be heading home then? I’ll make up for it, It’ll be done by tomorrow” ) Aluna forced out a smile before giving a bow to Liz and the others, walking out the room to go downstairs.

Hanbin sighed at Liz, chasing his girlfriend out the room, “Aluna, kamu harusnya jangan mau disalahin terus” ( “Aluna, you shouldn’t take the blame all the time” ) “Gapapa kok kak, daripada tambah ribet” ( “It’s fine, just get it over with” ) Aluna replied “Aku aja yang nganterin, udah gelap di luar, bahaya kalo kamu pulang sendiri” ( “I’ll take you home, It’s already dark outside, it’ll be dangerous if you go by yourself” ) “Udah gausah kak” ( “No it’s fine” ) “I’ll just order a cab” Aluna smiled, walking down the stairs, “Babe, be careful, yeah?” Hanbin spoke out “Iyaaa kak abinnnn” ( “Okayy hanbinnn” )

Hanbin aggressively opened the door of the meeting room, “Maksud lo nyalahin orang gitu buat apa ya?” ( “What was the purpose of you blaming things on others like that?” ) Hanbin shouted, “What do you mean?” Liz acted shocked, “Gausah pura pura goblok, kalo besok lo masih gabisa ngaku, gue bisa aja ngeluarin lo dari organisasi, ngerti ga?” ( “Don’t act stupid, if you still can’t admit that you’re wrong by tomorrow, I have the power to kick you out of this organization, understand?” ) Hanbin spoke out aggressively, showing a panicked expression on Liz’s face “Prop nya benerin sendiri, gausah nyuruh-nyuruh cewe gue ganti” ( “Fix the prop yourself, don’t ask my girlfriend to do it for you” ) Hanbin sighed, walking out of the meeting room before taking out his phone to text Aluna.

( english version of the chat )

now the car had halted, a defeated groan leaving hanbin's lips. he was annoyed, maybe angry, due to the fact that you had to get drunk during rush hour; that he had to pick you up, despite the red flags telling him not to.

you chuckled at his side, body limp against the door. you looked out to road, but everything was just spinning, delayed and bouncy. the cars at your side didn't even look real, and it didn't take very much imagination to see the kid in the backseat stick their tongue out at you mockingly.

truthfully, you don't know why you got so drunk on a tuesday afternoon — your friends convincing you (without much protest) that it was a good idea, when it so obviously wasn't. it's not like you even had a hard day or were drinking to forget an embarrassing memory. you were drinking soju in broad daylight, simply, because you wanted to, and now that it was past 5pm you couldn't figure out why. that being the reason it was funny.

hanbin gripped the wheel a little tighter at your laugher — hating, but loving the melody still. he wanted to turn the radio on but was afraid a song you two sang together would start playing, making it harder to stay composed.

the truth is, he was still mad at you for breaking up with him without a seemingly good reason. he didn't want to still feel feelings for you, but he didn't know (he did, but wouldn't admit it) why it hurt so much to be in your presence.

you turned your head to him, feeling the energy in the car shift ever-so-slightly in a bad way. maybe you were more in tune, more honest, while drunk and that made him fearful; because he was dangerously close to asking the question that's kept him up all night.

"what?" hanbin gritted out, causing you to chuckle again, this time at the way his knuckles were turning white, which you hadn’t noticed before, "what's so funny?"

"you." you teasingly poked his flexed arm, "you give nothing to the imagination. i can see right through you!"

he rolled his eyes, praying that the cars in front of him would magically disappear. he even debated throwing you out, but knew that he cared about your safety (still) too much to do that.

"you must hate me." you slurred, not giving him the chance to reply, "you must hate that i didn't even tell you why we broke up. do you want to know?" your head fell back against the seat, and hanbin began to panic. he didn't want you to fall asleep after getting so close to knowing what he wanted — no, needed — to know. finally though, you raised your head, "i'll tell you."

he held his breath, knowing that whatever you said couldn't possibly be good enough to make up for the dark bags under his eyes. the ache in his heart. he knew that it would cut open a wound that he's tried time and time again to stitch closed. so, he didn't say anything, pretending as if he didn't care, as if it wasn't something so desperate for him.

but, you knew.

you knew him well, despite being radio silent for so long. you knew his signs, his tells, for everything. it was no use hiding from you, and he must've forgotten that.

"i broke up with you..." you dragged it out, not in an on-purposely antagonizing way, but in a way that spelled out that you no longer had anything to say. and, maybe, you didn’t actually have an end to the sentence.

"What the fuck?" he had finally spoken, "fuck you, y/n. do you even know how much that means to me? you can't just say something so cut-throat like that and then leave me hanging! are you fucking serious right now? i don't care how drunk you are, you know what you're doing to me."

"you do hate me." your voice lowered into a mumble, "if you hate me so much then why did you come get me? huh, hanbin, why?"

"god, y/n! i would've hated if you had called anyone else." you stopped talking. stopped subconsciously playing with his feelings. you felt belittled, in the middle of the road with him driving full speed towards you. he was always vulnerable with you, and you pushed him off the edge, "tell me right now, y/n. otherwise you'll never hear from me again."

you hesitated, knowing what your heart felt, but head rationalized. you didn't know which was worse in this outcome. you didn't know if you could ever have a happy ending with him. you didn't know why he was still replaying on your mind like a broken record. you didn't know why you kept saying he hated you, despite knowing the opposite deep down.

you don't know why you broke up with him.

in the dead-stop of traffic, he grabbed your face, making you focus on him. maybe it was because he was desperate for an excuse to let you go, for some sort of closure. or maybe he just missed the touch of your skin against his.

you wanted to tell him the truth, you even prompted it, but now the nausea in your throat wasn't from the copious amounts of alcohol, but from the way his eyes searched yours for any once of love — anything that told him this was okay with you, that you wanted him back too.

and you were scared that he'd found it, voice shaky, "i don't want to — can't — lose you again."

his lips crashed against yours, almost like he'd been starved for so long, desperate for the feeling. he was almost stomach to the center console, fingers dipping into the plush of your cheeks gently. he didn't want to let you go, and frankly, neither did you, but the fervent honking from behind you had you gasping against the air when he did.

you laughed, it hitting against his lips for a moment, him using all his willpower to not lean in again and close the gap that just kept getting wider as he backed up. he had to be responsible and drive the car home, after all, that's all he was called to do. however, your friends never specified which home he'd drive to, and you weren't too pressed on asking, knowing that whichever outcome it was, he'd finally be back in your arms.

and this time, you weren't letting him go.

gunwook quickly entered the lobby and up the stairs of his apartment, running up just to swiftly enter his room and plop right on his bed, only to meet eyes with the suit he folded up on the bed.

he was currently fixing up a new suit, wanting a bit of change after his suit got botched up multiple times after getting ruined whilst playing the superhero at night.

gunwook quickly shimmied out of his clothes before slipping the suit on, twisting and turning in front of his mirror to look at his new suit.

it fit him in all the right places, the sleeves weren’t too tight on his arms which was what he needed since most movements focused on his arms, the pants weren’t too loose on his legs either.

gunwook walked around his apartment, trying to stretch the fabric of his suit even further so it’s much more comfortable. he didn’t bother changing his mask since it was kept pristine to avoid people recognizing him without the mask.

meanwhile you crept up the metal stairs outside the building which led to balconies from different apartments and yet you knew which stairway led to gunwook’s.

catching your breath as you sat on the metal and crawled towards the door that led into his apartment, your eyes quickly widen when you saw a familiar sight standing right in his living room, spiderman.

you slowly stood up whilst your hand reached for the doorknob, creaking it open before you screamed, “what the fuck!” you said as your eyes grew in horror when spiderman turned around to face you in a hurry, only to see gunwook and his nerdy glasses.

your eyebrows furrowed as you blinked at him, “wait, are you that much of a fan of spiderman, wook-ah?” you said before a smile etched on your face before laughing at gunwook who grew red.

you were laughing not until gunwook went up to you, pulling on your hand before pulling you into his room, shutting the door and the blinds before he made you sit down on the bed.

“look, that’s not really the case here.” gunwook says seriously to you before telling you all about how and what happened for him to become the friendly neighborhood spiderman.

literally an hour of storytelling later, you sat frozen on his bed trying to decipher what just happened while gunwook was still standing in front of you, waiting for you to speak after you went silent right after he told you everything.

“so? say something!” gunwook exclaimed which made you flinch.

you blinked up at him before you stood up and grabbed his shoulders, shaking him as you spoke.

“that’s so fucking cool, can i be your sidekick?” you said excitedly before gunwook let out a breath of relief, “of course you can, i can even make you a suit.” gunwook laughs when you hug his shoulders, “yay, a spiderman!” you exclaimed.

“Do you get it?” he asked, noticing that you were spacing out “Huh? Yeah, I get it” you replied, your tone unsure “Okay, let’s do question number 5 then” he smiled, flipping the page for you to see the question, your eyes widened, confused about what to do because you did not catch a single word that Gunwook explained, all that you could think about is Gunwook, what you could’ve possibly said last night when you were drunk, and how he was unbearably close to you at that moment.

You nodded your head, reading the questions before trying to solve them on your notes, but you were stuck, “Need any help?” Gunwook asked, “Gunwook” You placed your pen on the table, your head facing his “Mhm?” “Be honest, what did I say last night?” you sighed “You couldn’t focus because of that?” he chuckled, making eye contact with you, an eye contact that could end your life right at that moment, his soft gaze threw an insane amount of butterflies into your stomach, making you nervous, “Well, yes” you replied quietly from embarrassment, “Nothing weird, you shouldn’t think about it, let me explain the topic again” “Seriously just tell me before I die of embarrassment” “There’s nothing for you to get distracted about” “How am I not supposed to get distracted when you’re sitting there staring at me trying to do my thing while you look so effortlessly attractive ” you blurt out in annoyance “Hm?” he smiled, earning a shocked look from you “I said nothing” You covered your mouth with your hands “let’s take a break then, focus on me first, that’s what you want?” he laughed “Uhm, I’m gonna, uh, I feel a little thirsty, don’t you? I’m gonna get water” You laughed awkwardly, getting up from your seat and walking outside your bedroom to the kitchen.

Oh, you almost died, ‘what were you thinking, how can you just say that out of nowhere’ was repeating in your mind. You had to take a deep breath after grabbing two glasses of water before going back into your room, too scared to face Gunwook again.

You slowly opened your bedroom door, showing Gunwook on his phone while he sat down on the chair, “So your mind won’t go all over the place while I explain, do you want me to tell you about last night, or do you just want to continue right away?” he asked, placing down his phone, “Uhm, let’s just continue” you replied, still awkwardly, “Are you sure? Because I don't think I can explain properly when you just sit there trying to do your thing looking so effortlessly pretty” he smiled, and you looked at him in confusion before it hit you ‘Was he just joking around with me or does he actually like me’ “Okay tell me what happened last night please” you gave up, placing down the glass of water before sitting down on the chair beside Gunwook.

“My ex came up to me, remember any of that?” he laughed “Did…Did I cry?” you slightly shouted, “Yes, yes you did, so I came up to you and asked what’s wrong” “And then?…” “And you confessed to me” Your heart stops beating for a second, and you wish you could just disappear right at that moment “Listen, I don’t know if you mean it or not, but if this will make you feel less awkward, I share the same feelings as you, y/n” “Stop playing” You looked at him in disbelief, “You told me that already last night, I’m not joking, and I’m not saying this only to make you feel better, it’s just that I genuinely feel so happy whenever I’m around you, I just think that maybe we can be…uh” he hesitated, still scared about your reply “Prove that you’re being serious then,” you said, giving him even more courage to confess his true feelings “Let me be your boyfriend then” he laughed, earning a shocked look from you “Seriously?” “Seriously” “Uhm, yeah, yeah, be my…boyfriend….then” you replied, still in shock that your crush asked you to date him.

Gunwook smiled at the sight of your cuteness again, he placed his hands on your cheeks to squeeze them before patting your head “Thank you for accepting me, pretty” That nickname, made you go crazy, the butterflies in your stomach could not get any worst when he decided to call you pretty. You and Gunwook spend some time talking, letting out all of your true feelings toward each other, making sure that you’re comfortable enough to be with him, but as time passes by, it’s about time that you continue on with your studies.

While you were doing another set of questions, you placed down your pen to look at Gunwook again, “Is something wrong?” he asked worriedly “I still need to process some things” You sighed “Such as?” “Are we a thing now…” you asked “You want me to prove it to you?” he chuckled “How are you supposed to prove it?” “Like this,” he said, taking off his glasses before placing a soft, delicate kiss on your lips, you kissed him back, and nobody decided to let go yet, he placed his hands on your jawline while your hands traveled to his neck, giving a better access for the both of you.

His soft lips perfectly matched yours, as they made an impression that you have never felt. There you are, in your room, distracted from studying for your exams because you’re kissing your crush, the crush you thought you’ll never have a chance with.

Both of you pulled away from the kiss, taking a breath before Gunwook smiled at your red and flushed cheeks “Is that enough proof?” he questioned, tucking your hair behind your ears “Uhm, yeah, yup, It is” you replied, stuttering with your words “Should we continue now, baby?” there it goes, another nickname that gets you weak, you could only nod at his words, taking your pen from the table before going through the questions again.

After a few hours of studying, Gunwook noticed that you looked sleepy, so it was an initiative to end the session “Hey, go get some rest, we can continue on another day” he softly said as he rubbed your shoulders “It’s fine, I can do one more question” you replied, half asleep, “You have to get some rest or else you’ll be drained, go to sleep okay? I’ll clean up your books and head home” he smiled, signaling you to go to bed, “But I don't want you to leave yet” you whispered to yourself “What was that?” he asked, “Hm? Nothing” you smiled, sitting yourself down on your bed “Are you sure?” “Yep” “Okay, Good night baby, I love you” he chuckled, giving you a quick peck on the lips before fixing your blanket and cleaning up your books, leaving your house so you can sleep comfortably.

It’s been an hour since Gunwook left your house, and you were still wide awake. You were half asleep when he was here, how come you can’t make yourself sleep now? You thought to yourself, but It was already late at night, and you needed someone to be with you, Gunwook, who is now your boyfriend.

You took your phone from the bedside table, typing in Gunwook’s contact before pressing the call button. It didn’t take him long to answer your call.

“Not asleep yet?” he asked, his voice sounding sleepy

“I can’t sleep, sorry if I disturbed you,” you said, feeling some guilt after waking him up.

“Don’t worry about it, why can’t you sleep?” he asked

“I don’t know” you sighed

“Well, I’m here, if you wanna talk about something go ahead, but try to fall asleep first, I’m right here” he comforted you, his voice, his low, raspy, yet soft voice did its job, you felt sleepy just by listening to him speak

“Thanks, I think I’m about to fall asleep” you laughed

“You want me to hang up?” he asked

“No no, just stay”

“Okay then, Good night pretty” he said, waiting for you to be completely asleep before he falls asleep too

There were the two of you, falling asleep with the phone still on until morning, the distance between you wasn’t as close, but the connection still grew as long as you had each other.

────────────

“UGH, Y/N WHAT IS TAKING SO LONG?” Your best friend Yunjin asked on the phone “Girl, I’m right behind your car,” you said as you rolled your eyes before hanging up the phone and opening the door of Yunjin’s car.

“Oh, HEY BAE! I’m so excited about this trip, I can’t wait to finally have some days off from these assignments” Yunjin laughs as she starts her car and drives away from your house “Is everyone on their way to the airport yet?” you asked “yup, they’re on their way” she smiled. The one-hour drive to the airport was filled with laughter and screams as your favorite songs played on the Bluetooth.

.

As both of you arrived at the airport, you noticed that your other friends had also arrived, Gyuvin, Ricky, Matthew, Sheon, Winter, and…Gunwook!?

“Yunjin???” You stopped in your tracks the second you saw Gunwook standing with the other guys in the waiting room “Huh? What?” “You didn’t tell me Gunwook will be coming?” You spoke out, a little frustrated from the sudden news “Oh…see, because I knew you wouldn’t wanna come if you knew that Gunwook was coming, so I didn't tell you about that, sorry..” she laughed nervously “You should’ve told me? Now I’ll have to deal with his ass for the rest of the week, this is not any better than 50 assignments, JENNIFER.” “WOAH, you even brought up my English name and all, MY BAD?!?!?!” “Whatever” You shrugged, continuing your path to the waiting room to meet with the others.

Let’s all be honest, we all know the nonchalant face you have while you walk over there was all an act, you hated the fact that you’ll have to put up with him, but you don’t wanna seem like a sensitive no fun loser in front of him, that’ll just give him more reasons to tease you.

“Y/N!!! YUNJIN!!!” The girls shouted in excitement, their faces were occupied with bright smiles as they ran to hug you and Yunjin, while the guys just smiled and waved before continuing their conversation.

.

After an hour or two, the plane has finally boarded. You sat down with Yunjin, Winter sat down with Sheon, Ricky sat down with Matthew, and Gyuvin sat down with Gunwook, unfortunately, their seat was behind yours and Yunjin’s.

“Hey, Y/n, lend me your phone real quick” Gyuvin reached out his hands while tapping your shoulders “For what?” you asked confused by his sudden request “I need to search for something, my battery died” he responded. You handed him the phone, a little concerned, but what is he gonna do anyways?

After a few minutes, he returned your phone, the second you opened your gallery, it was filled with silly selfies that Gyuvin and Gunwook had taken, “Was your battery even out?” you looked back to him “Nope” he chuckled while scrolling thru his phone.

.

A few hours have passed, and the 8 of you have finally arrived at your destination, Bali! You and your friends used the car that you guys rented to go to the Villa you’re staying at for the week, entering the car, Gunwook sat in the driver’s seat while the others were in the passenger’s seat. “You’re driving?…” You asked a little concerned “Yeah? I’m a good driver, trust” he laughed, putting on the seatbelt before driving “If I die, I swear to god Gunwook I’ll be keeping you awake for the rest of your life” “Go on” he replied nonchalantly while he starts driving.

“Can someone put on some music? It’s kinda quiet in here” Ricky sighed “Ooooo yes! I have the perfect playlist for this” Winter responded, pulling out her phone to open an app. Once again, the drive to the villa was filled with laughs and screams as your favorite songs played on the Bluetooth.

{ Section 1 - The trip! }

- Day 1

☆ 3.45 PM

When you arrived at the villa, you were happy to be there of course, but you were a bit too drained to join the others talking in the living room, so you decided to excuse yourself to your bedroom, “Guys, I'm gonna go clean up and rest for a bit, I’ll join you guys later on” You smiled, taking your bags with you to the bedroom.

You took a deep breath while you lay down on the bed, the room was cold, and the glass wall with the glass door in front of your bed led to a balcony, which showed a view of the pool in the backyard and the beach behind it have given you the best atmosphere ever.

You get up from your bed to go to the bathroom inside of your bedroom, removing your make-up before getting into the shower. You were drowned in the warmth of the shower, and the sudden rush of freshness yet comfort took over your tired body, finally waking you up for reality, the good thing is, you’re out on a trip with your friends, the bad thing is, one of the ‘friends’ is Gunwook.

After your warm shower, you go back to your room and change into something more comfortable before plopping yourself onto the bed and scrolling down on your phone. Without noticing, scrolling down on your phone has slowly drifted you to sleep.

☆ 5.40 PM

You woke up from your nap due to someone softly shaking you “Huh?” you said confused “God, you’re finally awake, get up, we’re gonna go get dinner,” Gunwook said while opening the curtains “Let me sleep in for another 5 minutes” you groaned, putting a pillow over your head “Fine, I only woke you up because everyone else is already getting ready, if we leave you then don’t blame it on me” he shrugged, leaving your bedroom and shutting the doors “Ughhhh, fine I’ll get up” you whined tiredly, sitting down on your bed to gather up your sober self first.

After getting ready, You went out of your bedroom to see that everyone else was sitting down in the living room while waiting for you “Oh my god, took you long enough” Sheon complained, standing up from the couch “I was taking a nap” you laughed “Okay okay, C’mon, we don’t have much time” Matthew spoke out while taking the car keys on the table.

☆ 7.05 PM

“I’m sitting beside you?” Gunwook said unhappily while turning off his phone “If it was my choice, I’d be sitting at a different table from you, so if you want to complain, don’t say it to me” You rolled your eyes “Can you guys not argue for once?” Yunjin asked while looking at the both of you up and down “No” the both of you replied at the same time “Suit yourself” she sighed.

“Gunwook, lend me that spoon,” you said while pointing at the spoon beside him “Take it yourself” he replied “Bitch?” “I’m kidding” he laughed, giving you a gentle push on the shoulders before handing you the spoon “Thanks” you smiled sarcastically.

The breezy air at night on the beach has given the restaurant such a cozy vibe, the most surprising thing, is that you still feel comfortable in there even when you’re sitting next to the person you hate the most.

The warm delicate food filled your and your friend’s stomachs in the best way possible, it’s safe to say that the dinner went smoothly!

☆ 11.55 PM

After a long tiring night, good sleep is all that you need, when you’ve arrived at your villa, you cleaned yourself up and went straight to bed.

.

- Day 2

☆ 7.30 AM

You wake up from your slumber, and a glimpse of the sun shines through the curtains blinding your eyes “That’s bright” you say in your sleepy voice.

You got out of bed and washed your face before exiting your bedroom, You were greeted by Gunwook who was making himself some breakfast “A lion’s out of her cage” he said teasingly “Shut up” you said quietly “Where is everyone else?” “They’re still asleep, why are you awake so early always?” he asked “I don’t know. My body just decided to wake up” You laid down on the couch, eyes still sleepy “Cool, get off I wanna sit down” Gunwook declared while holding a plate of food “No? Sit down on the ground” He clicked his tongue before pulling you out of the couch “You’re so annoying” You groaned, getting up from the ground and walking to the kitchen “If I’m annoying then you should go and check out what’s wrong with you” he scoffed as he searched for some shows to watch on the TV.

“Why are you guys so loud? It’s too early for this” Gyuvin got out of his room, hair messy and face sleepy “If your friend isn’t so bitchy, we wouldn’t be so loud” You said while slowly taking a glance at Gunwook “C’mon, he’s your friend too Y/n” Gyuvin laughed “No he’s not?” “No I’m not?” Both of you said in sync “Oh!” Gyuvin reacted “I tried, I’m going back to sleep” He entered his room and shut the door.

☆ 9.15 AM

Finally, everyone is awake! The 8 of you guys sat down together in the backyard of the villa, having random conversations while drinking some fresh beverages.

You guys spent the rest of the day out shopping and hunting for some traditional food, and of course, you guys had to visit the beach and experience the beauty there.

☆ 10.30 PM

The day has passed and it’s finally nighttime, you and your friends sat around a bonfire while having deep conversations, silly conversations, stupid conversations, and even drunk confessions on a sober brain. At this moment of the day, all 8 of you have grown to connect more, the bond between all of you has grown to be stronger than before, and what’s most important, is that all of you understand each other more, as shocking as this will sound, you and Gunwook have somehow slowly understood each other more, no, that doesn’t break the hatred you both have for each other, but it delivered the both of you some understanding

“Oh c’mon Ricky that’s such a dumb confession” Sheon scoffed “What? I literally just confessed my love for strawberries to you guys?” “Yeah, and we know about that already you dumbass” Winter chuckled “Hmmm, Gunwook, how bout you? Do you have any confessions?” Matthew asked, “Maybe about how you’re able to achieve the title of ‘best student award’ every year?” he chuckled “Oh..honestly, I think I just grew up with my parents having to force my academic scores to be high, even with the titles that I’ve gotten these past few years, they’re still not satisfied” he lets out a soft chuckle, a forced one for sure, “But you’re always first in class? Let alone class, our whole grade?!” Gyuvin spoke out shocked by Gunwook’s confession “It’s hard to satisfy them, dude, but it’s fine, really, I’ve already grown to accept it” he laughed

“Y/n, you good? Why are you so quiet?” Yunjin asked concerned “Hm? Yeah, I’m good, I’m just a little tired” You smiled “If you’re tired you can just go back inside and sleep, it’s getting late anyways!” Sheon mentioned while checking the time on her phone “No no, it’s okay, I’ll stay” “Just sleep, if you stay you’ll just end up falling asleep” Gunwook said teasingly yet softly at the same time “You know what guys, I’m also getting a little tired, let’s end today and go to sleep” Winter stood up while taking her stuff “Okayy, good night guys” Yunjin enunciated and everyone went back inside to their own bedrooms.

There’s something about that conversation keeping you up that night, you asked yourself “Am I just over-sensitive? Or am I just jealous?” while staring up at the dark ceiling of the bedroom. Ever since your rivalry with Gunwook started in middle school, You grew up with this pressure in your heart, constantly telling yourself to just..be better than him. You’ve always been compared to him, even by your parents, as much as you work for something. Your achievement can never be better than Gunwook’s, he’s first in class, so why are you always second? You work equally just as hard as him? And if you finally beat Gunwook on something, people would still have their focus on Gunwook, Okay?! He’s the popular smart soccer player in school that everybody has a crush on, but all you’ve ever asked for is to be appreciated.

“This is dumb” you sighed, holding back tears and putting a blanket over your body, letting yourself fall asleep.

.

- Day 3

☆ 9.15 AM

“Hey you seem like you’re in a bad mood, what’s wrong?” Gyuvin asked you “Nothing’s wrong? Just still a little sleepy, you know?” “I see, well if you’re really that tired just go back to sleep, we don’t have anything to do yet anyway,” he said while scrolling through his phone.

“Hey, y/n, come here!” Yunjin shouted from the kitchen “Coming!” you walked over to the kitchen “Help me make some cookies” she laughed “Call for Gunwook too, I need him to help prepare the ingredients” “Okay, hold up” you smiled, walking yourself to Gunwook’s room before knocking on his door “Come in” he shouted “Yunjin wants you to help her prepare some ingredients for making cookies, c’mon” you leaned over the door frame “Fine, give me a minute”

You went back downstairs and after a few minutes of waiting, Gunwook finally came down to help “What do you need help with?” he asked “Can you take the bowl on the top shelf?” “Yeah, hold on” he answered, reaching up for the bowl with such ease.

The baking session for the three of you was interesting, You guys honestly made a big mess and Gunwook kept on putting flour on your face, but the cookies turned out pretty good so you couldn’t even complain about it.

☆ 00.40 AM

The day ended, and everybody was asleep, but yet again, something was bothering you, you hated it, you hated having that weird burden inside of you. The worst part of it is that you know this is all because of your jealousy toward Gunwook, you didn’t want to be jealous of him, but you were.

You decided that you needed something to drink, so you went out of your bedroom to get something from the kitchen, but the sight of Gunwook sitting down on one of the chairs on the kitchen’s aisle stopped you, you hesitated, but you went for it.

You tried your best to avoid eye contact with him while taking some water from the dispenser, but knowing that he was looking at you made it hard for you to not look at him back.

“Hey, Gunwook..” You sighed “I’ve tried to keep this to myself, but sometimes it’s so hard to act as if I don't hold anything against you but I do.” you scoffed “Y/n” he spoke out with a low tone “Look, I’m sorry that your parents have put so much pressure on you, I’m sorry that it’s hard for you to satisfy them, but do you always have to steal every single fucking thing from me Gunwook?” “What?” he scoffed “What is it that I have stolen from you, huh? Everything they’ve pressured me to do is all because of YOU, y/n.” “You don’t understand Gunwook, All these years, you’ve been number one, constantly, number one, number one, and number one, and where am I? What place am I entitled to? Second. All this time I’ve lost to you, all attention is on you, all of the pride goes to you Gunwook. Oh, look! Park gunwook! The best student in the school huh? And then there's Me, Y/n, the student who studies day and night just to be a tutor for lacking students without being appreciated at all. You know my parents loved you like their son Gunwook, maybe you don’t notice this but I grew up being compared to you and it isn’t fair?! You’ve stolen everything from me, the least you can spare for me is just to let me make my parents proud, wook..” Each word gets louder and louder from all the rage you’ve held.

Pushing his shoulders with your fingers on every sentence to express your anger, Gunwook stood there listening to your rage, before he took a deep breath

“Look, I wasn’t trying to hurt you Y/n and I’m sorry if I did, but I never stole your chance of making your parents proud, I’m sure they’re proud of you but let me say this. You might think I’ve accomplished something by taking first place all the time, but trust me I never reached my goal. If being first can make your parents proud then take the place y/n, because as much as I try, my parents will never appreciate me for it, so even if I’m first, we’re equal aren’t we? I’m first yet the person I try to satisfy has nothing to say about it, you’re second and no one appreciates you for it, right? Loss and loss. Being first and second won’t make a change for me y/n, so if you want appreciation from people, take my place. I might have people mentioning me for it but all I need is for my parents to say the things THEY did, so take everything.”

Gunwook wanted to be mad at you, he wanted to shout at you, but he couldn’t. All the rage that you’ve held against him, he’s held the same amount, yet he can’t make himself shout at you, even with the biggest desire, his voice just couldn’t come out.

“Sometimes I wished our parents weren’t friends, maybe that way we wouldn’t get to each other’s ways like this,” you said, holding back pools of tears

“I wished for the same thing, trust me I did”

Holding back tears had been the hardest thing to do the whole night, and at this point, you couldn’t hold it in any longer, so you rushed to your bedroom, leaving Gunwook standing alone.

☆ 7.15 AM

“Y/n, wake up, let’s get breakfast!” Winter shouted while knocking on your locked door “I’m awake, give me a minute” you shouted back “Woah, you’re awake early” she laughed.

Of course you were awake early, you didn’t even sleep, did you? You let your emotions take over you, and you feel good after letting them out but there are some regrets wandering around.

- Day 4

☆ 7.30 AM

After quickly cleaning up, you went out of your room wearing something simple like shorts and a T-shirt, as the eight of you were just going somewhere nearby for breakfast.

“Oh, y/n come sit here” Yunjin tapped on the space beside her on the couch, signing you to sit beside her, but you saw that Gunwook was sitting on the other side of the couch, and you didn’t feel like seeing him so you sat down on the kitchen counter “Why are you sitting so far away? Just sit here?” Sheon questioned, “Because, why not?..” you laughed awkwardly, Gunwook turned his head from his phone to your direction, but he didn't say anything, his face was straight, and the burden that you felt was probably the same for Gunwook. “C’mon, I’m hungry” Ricky spoke out while rolling the sleeves of his button up.

☆ 8.05 AM

After waiting for the food, your orders finally came, you sat beside Sheon while Gunwook was in the seat in front of you, was it a good sitting, no, but was it a better option than having to sit beside him? YES.

As your orders finally arrived, you reached your hands to take the bottle of sauce on the table, when your hands touched the bottle, you felt Gunwook’s hand on top of yours, also trying to take the sauce, “Oh, sorry, you take it” the both of you said at the same time “No, no it’s fine, Gunwook you take it” “Nah, I’ll take it after you” “Gunwook, just take it.” you laughed awkwardly “Won’t you wanna be first for once? You know, I can’t be the first one all the time, right?” “Oh? You know, maybe when you decide to take that sauce first your parents will be pro-” “OKAAAYYYY, I’m taking the sauce, thanks guys” Matthew cuts off your sentence before you can continue any further “What in the world is going on with the two of you” Ricky asked “Sorry” You quietly said to Gunwook.

☆ 10.15 AM

What is a better way to relax with your friends in Bali other than going to the beach? The sensation of having a filled stomach made you and your friends too lazy to do activities that exert too much energy, so the eight of you went to the beach behind your villa to relax.

As your friends were playing with the water, Gunwook accidentally splashed water onto your body, of course, it wasn’t a big deal, but because it was Gunwook who did it, you rolled your eyes as a reflex. Although you didn’t want to ruin the fun for other people, you decided to ignore him and continue with what you were doing.

“What is it with the two of you?” Sheon asked while looking your way “What do you mean?” “God, forget it” she sighed.

.

It reached the point where you and Gunwook could not stop getting passive-aggressive toward each other, almost starting a fight, or even having small fights here and there. Some examples of the other times you guys fought that day was when you went to a tourist attraction a couple of hours after going to the beach.

You were just walking around the streets of the area, and Gunwook suddenly pushed you with his shoulders by ‘accident’, “Can you not?” you said frustrated by his action “What? It was an accident?” he scoffed, continuing his walk like nothing even happened.

Or maybe when the eight of you had finally gone home to the villa after a long day, and as you guys were sitting down on the couch, you and Gunwook would bicker here and there, it was a small fight at first but then it got annoying to the others.

☆ 6.45 PM

“What is it with the two of you, stop,” Yunjin spoke out in the middle of your and Gunwook’s quarrel, her voice close to shouting “You two were just fine yesterday, what happened?” she sighed.

You and Gunwook stayed silent. It was a normal thing for you guys to fight, it was weirder for you guys to get along rather than fight every single day, but that’s the problem. The two of you got along, well, kind of, but before the fight you two had last night, everything was fine, you guys can last a day without having to fight each other, and even have conversations to keep up with each other’s life after a while, but the two of you were stubborn, you both realized that, but being the stubborn person you two are, none of you wanted to admit it.

“You know, you guys just need to stop being so stubborn?” Winter said softly, her eyes still focused on his phone “You guys continue doing your thing, I’m gonna get cleaned up” Gyuvin stood up from the couch, stretching his body before heading to his bedroom.

☆ 9.01 PM

You were sitting down on the patio swing in the backyard of your Villa, drowning yourself in thoughts as you stared at the view. Without noticing, a tear fell from your eye as you were thinking about everything that had been overwhelming you these past few days.

You quickly wiped off your tears when you heard the backyard door opening, showing Gunwook’s figure walking to the swing that you were on, “Can I sit beside you?” he asked coldly, you nodded your head, signing that it was okay for him to sit beside you. Gunwook placed himself on the other corner of the swing, both of your eyes were fixed on the view of the backyard with no one brave enough to make an eye contact.

“Can I be honest?” Gunwook requested “Yeah, go on” “Remember in 5th grade when we’d have sleepovers at your place or my place with our other friends? when we played games together, we’d always end up on the same team, winning every single round?” “Mhm” you slightly smiled “Or, maybe we were against each other in some games, but if one of us wins, we’d give each other a hug while saying good job?” he laughed “Of course I remember” “Y/n, we were always so proud of each other back then, so why can’t we do that now? I don't know how it is for you, but having that pressure inside of me all the time because of the constant competitiveness we have toward each other is slowly killing me.” He said calmly while playing with his fingers. Once again, you were holding back tears, “Gunwook..” You said speechless, “These past few years, all that we’ve been doing is just working so hard for a title, a title that can make our parents proud of us, that was our promise right? But we got too competitive. If no one will be proud of us, then let’s just be proud of each other Y/n.”

The last few words that Gunwook said in his sentence were able to let all of your tears lose, you’ve tried your hardest to hold back the tears but they couldn’t stay, even when you were already crying, the tears just couldn’t stop, could it?

“Stop crying, you look stupid” Gunwook chuckled and pushed you gently, trying to make you feel annoyed rather than sad “Shut up” You laughed while tears were still falling “All jokes aside, I’m sorry, yeah?” he pats your shoulders “I’m sorry wook” You sobbed.

Who would’ve known? Who would’ve known that you and your childhood friend would finally apologize to each other sincerely on a trip where you didn’t even want him to come on?

Guess the world has its ways.

.

- Day 5

☆ 8.00 AM

You got up from your bed to exit your bedroom, seeing Sheon, Yunjin, Gyuvin, Ricky, and Gunwook sitting down on the couch in the living room “The sloth is awake” Gunwook teased “Yeah, good morning to you too Gunwook” you said sarcastically before sitting down next to Gunwook on the couch “Ya’ll good now?” Yunjin asked confused “Yeah, what happened to the fighting? I was enjoying the drama” Gyuvin yawned.

You and Gunwook just laughed, not agreeing but not denying their words as you looked at each other. What Gunwook said last night was right, what’s the point of hating each other when you have the same goals? It’s only better to support each other.

“Oh my god, you’re not denying?” Sheon gasped “Why are you so shocked?” you laughed “I can sleep in peace” Ricky cheered, this was the moment that all your friends had waited for, something as simple as ‘stop being so stubborn to each other’ took you and Gunwook ages to do, It’s about time to try and do so.

“Gyuvin, wake the others up, let’s go out” Yunjin smiled “Me? Why me?” he groaned “Because you’re the most energetic right now?” “Whatever” he sighed, getting up from the couch before walking to the other’s room.

.

The rest of the day went great, you and your friends had fun, enjoying the sky, the activities, the air, and of course the view. What made it even better is that you get to experience all of this with your friends, and most importantly, someone you can now call your childhood friend and not your enemy.

☆ 7.15 PM

It was now dinner time and you sat beside Gunwook in the restaurant. Jazz music and dim lights give a certain vibe to the dinner table, camera lights flashing from the number of pictures taken of each other, you looked at Gunwook, confused about what to order “I seriously don’t know what to order, I’m not even hungry yet” you sighed “Well, you still have to order something? This looks good” he said while pointing to one of the dishes stated on the menu.

While waiting for the food to arrive, the long day that you’ve had that day has made you feel drowsy, you place your head onto your arms on the table, close your eyes, and fall asleep. When you wake up, you see that Gunwook’s jacket is wrapped around your body to prevent you from getting cold, you sit down properly, taking the jacket to give it back to Gunwook, “Thanks” you smile, leaning your head on his shoulders from still being tired.

You hesitated to do that at first, but when you finally placed your head on his shoulders, it gave you peace, nothing feels weird when it comes to physical touch with him because of the memories you’ve shared since childhood, but it seems like you’ve forgotten about that before you rested your head.

“No problem” Gunwook smiled, patting your shoulders in response. As you had your conversations with Gunwook with your head on his shoulders, Yunjin, who sat in front of you, secretly took a picture of the two of you, capturing a beautiful memory that will last a life time.

☆ 11.45 PM

Coming home to the villa from dinner with a happy stomach, you immediately got cleaned up and went to bed, preparing yourself for the upcoming days.

.

- Day 6

The trip with your friends is nearing an end, so the eight of you spend the remaining moments walking around Bali, shopping, going to the beach, eating some more traditional foods, and learning more about the culture.

Spending the whole day out with different activities was a lot of fun, but it drained all of your energy by the end of the day. When you all went home to the Villa, you guys spent more time talking and ordering food before heading to bed.

☆ 00.40 AM

You were lying down on your bed while scrolling through your phone before hearing a knock on the door. When you opened the door, you saw Gunwook standing with his hoodie, shorts, and glasses, “Need anything?” you ask “Yeah, I’m bored” he sighed “So? What should we do?” “I have some ideas” he smiled, pulling your hands gently to follow his lead.

The two of you ran to the car that you guys rented on day one, “Where are we going?” you asked confused “Anywhere, just get in the car” he laughed. As he starts the car, he sets up his phone to put some music on the Bluetooth, giving a fun vibe to the moment.

Gunwook drove around the empty streets with the car, blasting music with the windows down for the wind to enter.

Suddenly, Gunwook stopped the car on the beach, the lonely beach was illuminated by the moon’s grace. The two of you sat down on a bench inside the beach, it was silent, the only noise filling the space between the two of you was from the waves in the ocean, but that was what made it beautiful, the silence wasn’t awkward, it was far from awkward, the silence connected the two hearts and the two souls.

“Hey, Gunwook” You looked at him “Hm?” “I’ve had a lot of fun, thanks” You smiled, and Gunwook gave you a sweet look, his eyes filled with genuine Awe before he wrapped his arms around your shoulders “My pleasure, y/n” he laughed, ruffling your hair till it was messy.

You spent your time at the beach walking around while having deep talks, writing your names on the sand, and chasing each other around. The amount of fun you had that night was unexplainable, believe it or not, you were glad you spent the night with Gunwook at the beach while opening up to each other.

“It’s late, we should go back to the Villa” Gunwook declared while checking the time on his phone “You’re right, let’s go” you replied, walking back to the car with Gunwook to head back.

☆ 2.18 AM

“Thanks again, I had fun!” you tiptoed to give Gunwook a pat on the head in front of your room “No need to thank me, Good night, sleep well” he laughed, giving you a short hug before heading to his room, the hug was warm, it gave you all the comfort you’ve ever needed.

The hug was short, but it stayed in your mind the whole night, it’s just odd to think that you and your childhood friend have finally fixed your friendship after years, but you’ve grown to love it

.

-Day 7

☆ 10.00 AM

Packed and ready, you and your friends finally went to the airport to end the trip. All eight of you felt a little sad to leave Bali, but there will always be another time to come back.

“Here, let me help you with that,” Gunwook said while taking your bag “You don’t need to” “I know, but I want to” he smiled, carrying your bag and his bag.

There were a lot of ups and downs during the trip, but it was great to end it on good terms.

In the airplane, your seat was beside Gunwook’s, if it was the first day of the trip, you would’ve complained and asked one of your friends to switch seats, but it isn’t the first day, so it’s safe to say that you were quite happy with the sitting.

You’d often fall asleep and wake up with your head on his shoulders, and sometimes your arms would be intertwined with his.

Other parts of the flight would be filled with your silly conversations with Gunwook, and some more catch-ups during the few years.

.

{ Section 2: Trip’s aftermath! }

After the trip, you and Gunwook would often hang out at school during breaks, and even hang out after school, some people were confused because of the sudden change of behavior between the two of you, and some of them were even jealous of you.

Gunwook would often come over to your house during his free time when the two of you were bored and had nothing to do.

One week after the trip the eight of you had to Bali, school unfortunately started and you had to continue your routine of studying all the time. You and Gunwook were assigned as pairs for a project, so you decided to come to your house to finish it.

“Gunwook?!” Your sister Amaya shouted from the living room when she saw Gunwook standing by the door “May?” he smiled “I haven’t seen you in ages!!” Amaya laughs, running to Gunwook’s open arms “How old are you now?” Gunwook asked as he let go of the hug “I’m ten now” she smiled, showing a shocked expression on Gunwook’s face “Weren’t you like five when I last saw you?” “Well, it has been a couple of years” “Okay you two, Amaya you can talk to your long-lost brother after we finish this project, and Gunwook you can also talk to your long-lost sister after we finish this project, okay?” You chuckled, patting your sister’s head softly “Okay sis, bye-bye Gunwook!” she smiled.

Considering you and Gunwook have known each other since birth, Gunwook has also been familiar with your sister ever since she was born, when your parents were out together, Gunwook and you would often take care of Amaya back then, but it stopped ever since your rivalry started with him, and Amaya missed Gunwook for a while, he was like a brother to her.

The project was a pretty big one, and the deadline was still in a couple of weeks, so you and Gunwook decided to only research things for the project today and continue the main thing on the other meets. When Gunwook exited your room, he saw Amaya sitting down on the couch “Amaya, I’ll be heading home okay!!” he said “Okay!! Please visit more” she replied with a smile “I will!!”

When Gunwook and you reached the front door, Gunwook bid his goodbyes by hugging you before entering his car, closing the doors, and driving away.

☆ 2.35 AM

Ever since you were young, you’d often get nightmares here and there, some of them aren’t that scary, but some of them are capable of keeping you awake the whole night, and in this case, it kept you up all night.

Your parents are on a business trip and your sister is already asleep, you are shivering and scared beneath your sheets, unable to move a single muscle due to the fear you have. The only thing within reachable distance was your phone, you thought of someone who could accompany you, but nobody came to mind, but there was one person who lives near you, and who you also feel comfortable with, Park Gunwook.

You took your phone, dialing his number with a heavy breath and panicked state. It took some time for him to answer, his voice tired and low, signaling that he was long asleep before you called him, “Hey, what’s wrong?” he asked when he heard your heavy breathing “Gunwook, I can’t sleep” You replied slowly as your words were cut off by your breathing “Oh is it your nightmares again? Calm down, you’re okay, give me a couple of minutes and I’ll be there” he spoke out, you could hear the rustling from his bed when he hurriedly stood up to put on his hoodie.

“I’m not gonna hang up, so just lay down and scroll through your phone, I won’t take long” he comforted you while starting his car, driving through the empty streets at midnight for you.

After a few minutes passed by, you heard the passcode from your door getting unlocked, and as you were about to panic, you heard Gunwook’s voice through the phone “It’s me, don’t panic, I’ll hang up now” he enunciates

Your bedroom door opened, revealing Gunwook with his Hoodie and his shorts, accompanied by his glasses and messy hair, he walked over to you, pulling you into a comforting hug “You’re okay y/n, you’re okay” he chuckled, placing soft rubs on your head with the hug “Stop laughing” you whined “I just find it funny how you’re still scared of your nightmares, I remember having to comfort you all night during our sleepover when we were kids” he conveyed “Sorry for bothering you, It’s late” You sighed “It’s fine, I understand” he smiled.

Gunwook ended up staying the night at your place because it was also too late for him to drive back and he was tired….and you were also still scared.

.

A few days passed and Gunwook came over to your house after school again for you guys to finish the project.

When the two of you were taking a break, you both laid down on the bed, bored and hungry, “I’m hungry” you sighed “Same, any food downstairs?” Gunwook asked, “Nah, you wanna order something?” “Yeah, sure” he smiled, sitting down on the bed to stretch his body.

When the food arrived, you and Gunwook ate your meals while watching the series that the two of you started together.

You worked on the project until it was late at night. When the clock struck 11.30 PM, you and Gunwook had finally finished half of the project, raining the room with happiness and relief, both of you cheered and gave each other a high five before Gunwook lifted you in a hug to spin you around, making you shout “Okay okay! Put me down” you laughed “I’ll get going now, sleep well, call me if you get more nightmares” he smiled, quickly patting your head before leaving your house.

You went back into your bedroom, lying down and smiling to yourself from all the butterflies in your stomach, “Stop why do I feel like this, am I going insane” you laughed awkwardly, obviously denying the truth.

.

“Hey Amaya, Gunwook is coming over again for our project, so don’t be too loud, okay?” You smiled “You know me, I’m never loud! And, is he your boyfriend yet?” she giggles “What kind of question is that?” “Oh, I know you’ve been giggling about him, sis!” “In your dreams? Go back to your bedroom.” you scoffed before hearing a knock on your front door, Amaya shrugged her shoulders and sprinted to her room, leaving you alone to open the door.

When you opened the door, you saw Gunwook standing with a bag of food “So we won't have to order food again, I got us some food on the way here” he smiled “Thanks, Gunwook” you laughed, ruffling his hair while you tiptoe.

.

Okay let's be clear, your feelings are there, it's obvious to you that you like him, but you’re in denial. Why? Because falling in love with your childhood friend who then turned into your enemy, then your best friend feels a little…odd? You keep on questioning yourself ‘What is he gonna think about me?’ What image would he have on you if he figures out that you are quite literally in love with him? Is the friendship gonna end again? Or will it be a good ending?

But during your daily overthinking session, Gunwook suddenly texted you

Gunwook: Hey, let’s go somewhere, I’m bored

You: Sure, what time?

Gunwook: I’ll pick you up by 6, get ready

You: Okayyyy

You didn’t even know where you were gonna go, but it was an automatic response for you to say yes when he asked you to go somewhere, you didn’t even hesitate.

You wore an outfit that matched the weather outside, the outfit fits you well, starting from how the colors blend into your shade well, to how nicely fitted the clothes are with your body shape.

After getting ready, you checked and saw that the clock had reached 6 PM. Right when you realize, you feel your phone buzzing, showing an incoming call from Gunwook.

“I’m downstairs” his voice was heard from the phone “Gimme a minute” you replied, spraying yourself with perfume before going downstairs to his car.

As you entered his car, he wore an outfit that matched yours perfectly, making the two of you look like an inseparable couple. “Hey, we’re matching” Gunwook laughed, ruffling your hair in adorance “I know right, what a coincidence” you replied, a bright smile plastered across your face.

Gunwook started to drive his car, and you arrived at a park filled with cute restaurants and cafes. The area was lively, it was surrounded by flowers and nature, giving you a fresh yet graceful atmosphere.

Turned out, Gunwook had already booked a seat in one of the restaurants for the two of you, he chose the semi-outdoor restaurant, the walls covering you were all glass and the interior had a lot of greens, there was even a fountain on the center of the restaurant.

Because the wall and the ceiling were glass, the moonlight from above shined through the glass, with all of the beautiful things surrounding you, like nature, the moonlight, the small candle in the center of the table, and most importantly, Park Gunwook, you felt safe and comfortable.

When your meals arrived, Gunwook fed you some of his dish, smiling at your puffed cheeks while you munched on the food he fed you.

Eating and having silly talks with him definitely filled up your stomach, but there’s always enough space for ice cream.

While the two of you walked by the park to the nearest ice cream shop, he pointed at the stars, while you stared at the beautiful sight of the star, he was also starting at a beautiful sight, you.

“Wait here, I’ll buy us the ice cream,” he declared, pointing at the bench near the ice cream shop, you nodded, not thinking much about it. While waiting for Gunwook to come back with the ice cream, you spent your time on your phone, scrolling through endless contents, before noticing that it had been sometime after Gunwook left.

You were just about to text him before you felt someone’s finger tap your shoulder. You saw Gunwook standing there with a smile, holding two cups of ice cream…a stuffed animal and…flowers?

“Sorry if that took a little long” he chuckled, giving you the cup of ice cream “Oh, and here’s one more thing” he smiled, handing the bouquet filled with roses, “The sudden bouquet? What’s going on?” you looked at him suspiciously, “I think you missed the note inside there, read it” he laughs “Hold on” you sighed, taking out the note before quietly reading it.

‘Okay y/n, I know you hate bullshits so let me just get to the point HAHA, after the trip we had to Bali, we fixed our friendship and we were able to catch up with each other, and when school started again, we were paired up for the project, and from all those days I’ve spent at your house, I would find myself constantly thinking about you when I’m at home, even somehow missing your annoying ass the second I drove away from your house. Yeah yeah cringe whatever, but I like you, and it’s not something that I can control, thank you for understanding me, thank you for keeping up with me, so, will you Take a chance with me?’

You gasped the second you finished the letter and realized that Gunwook felt the same way as you. You faced him, holding back a stupid amount of tears after being relieved that he wouldn't think you’re insane, and also because it got to you, the guy you grew up with, the guy who was always there for you, but also the guy who you hate, the guy who you can't spend a single day with ever since middle school, fell for you, and you fell for him? The long years you’ve spent together, thinking that you will have no feelings for each other at all.

You laughed, feeling tears coming out of your eyes “This is so dumb, why am I crying” you whined, standing up from the bench to walk into Gunwook’s opened arms “Yeah, why are you crying?” he laughed, brushing soft strokes on your hair while he hugs you.

After taking a moment to let go of your tears, you took a breath, stepping out of Gunwook’s hug, still sniffling after crying “Sorry, your shirt is kinda wet now” you giggled “It’s been through worse” he smiled “And, yes, I'll take a chance with you, Gunwook” you looked at him, his face filled with mixed expression, you can tell that he was shocked, but you can also tell that he was happy about it “Seriously?” “Yeah” “You’re not joking?” “I’m serious,” you said, Gunwook hurriedly hugged you once again, lifting you while spinning you around “Thank you” he whispered while he slowly put you down.

You and Gunwook continued your time at the park while intertwining your fingers together, the two of you look like an inseparable couple, and you most definitely are an inseparable couple from now.

Even when he was driving you home, he drove with one hand, the other one holding yours as his eyes were focused on the road. You felt comfortable, so comfortable, to the point where you fell asleep in the car with your hand in his.

The end of the day had come, and it's safe to say that it’s been such a rollercoaster that day, but overall, it ended with the best thing you can ever ask for, you can call him yours from now on.

The two of you stood in front of your door on your front porch, before you entered your house, you hesitated for a good fifteen seconds before giving him a quick peck on the lips, his face was frozen, let alone his face, his whole body was frozen, and you were about to enter your house before he pulled you in for another kiss, one hand is placed around your back, and the other supporting your chin, you can feel the slight curve forming from his lips, expressing his happiness to be yours.

When you’ve gotten cleaned up, you lie down on your bed, rolling around and throwing pillows across your room, clearly flustered from what just happened.

You hug the stuffed animals that he gave you, falling asleep with his scent that’s stuck on the item you’re hugging.

You’ve never had a better sleep than that night.

.

{ Section 3: So…we’re a thing now? }

You and Gunwook would try to keep your relationship from your friends, but it seems like they just naturally figured it out by themselves.

Gyuvin and Ricky caught Gunwook kissing your cheeks once, and the others just assumed that you guys were dating.

☆ 3.15 PM

The eight of you were studying at a cafe together, preparing for the upcoming exam. You sighed, scrolling through the pointers on your laptop, overwhelmed by all of the things you have to prepare for, “You okay?” Gunwook, who sat beside you, asked you when he noticed your expression “Mhm” you nod, placing your head on his shoulders, “Cool, yeah, cute, get a room” Gyuvin sighed, earning a laugh from the rest of you.

It’s been a week since you and Gunwook started dating, this is all so new for both of you, so you’re taking the time to adjust, although Gunwook has been treating you in the best way possible, and there weren’t any awkward moments between the two of you.

There’s this one time when a junior went up to Gunwook while the two of you were walking together in the school’s hallway, and started to try and have a conversation with him, even asking for his number. Gunwook was a nice person so he kept up with the conversation, but when she asked for his number, he just smiled, holding your hands to give a code to the junior, she noticed the way your fingers were intertwined together, embarrassed yet sad, she walked away in defeat.

You continued scrolling through the pointers, taking notes of the topics that you didn’t quite understand yet. Even when your other friends were taking a break from studying, they’d order food and talk with each other, but your eyes and mind were still focused on your books and notes, panicked about failing the exam.

Gunwook was taking a sip of his drink while resting his back on the chair, keeping himself away from studying for a few minutes before coming back. He noticed you being so focused and stressed that your fingers were massaging the temple of your forehead, signaling the pressure.

He slid his plate of cookies to your side, also offering you his drink while rubbing your shoulders “Don’t think too much about it, you’ll do fine” he sighed, knowing that you were always the stubborn type when it comes to your grades “What if I don’t do well? What if my scores decrease?” you said panicked “At least take a break, yeah?” he replied, evidently worried about you “I will after I take notes of this slide, I promise” you smiled. He knew that you wouldn’t, he knew that you’d just continue studying without taking any breaks, but he also knew that forcing you wouldn’t make any changes, so he just sighed, taking another sip of his drink.

A few hours passed by and all of your friends had gone back to studying again after a few rounds of breaks, with no surprises, you hadn’t had a break at all, and the time was already showing 9.30 PM.

When Gunwook was revising his books and taking notes, he saw your head resting on the table with your eyes closed, he chuckled, finding you cute as you took a nap, but he also felt bad, because you’ve worked so hard the whole day while panicking about the exam until you didn’t get any rest. With some hesitation, he shook your body gently to wake you up, “Hm?” you spoke out tiredly “I’ll take you home, you need to rest,” he said softly, tucking your hair behind your ears “I’ll study for a bit more, please?” “No, you’re coming home.” he insists, his voice going firm to show his seriousness about his words “Fine” you yawned, knowing that you were tired anyway.

While he drives you home, he takes off his jacket to give it to you, giving you warmth and comfort so you can fall asleep again, which is exactly what you did.

When he was gonna drop you off on your front porch, you stopped in your tracks when you got out of the car, “Can you stay?” you asked “Hm?” “Stay for the night, Amaya’s having a sleepover at her friend’s and my parents are on another business trip, I’m uh..scared,” you said shyly, Gunwook staying over was a normal thing, it was never odd, it’s just that he’s always stayed as your friend, and not your boyfriend, “The clothes you left are still here, so…” “I’ll stay” he smiled “But you have to promise that you’re sleeping right away.” “I am, I promise”

After the both of you had gotten cleaned up, you both lay down on the bed in your PJs, you wrapped your body into the warmth of your blanket and Gunwook’s arm, falling asleep with his arms around you while his fingers played with your hair.

☆ 7.50 AM

As you woke up from your slumber, you felt an arm around your body, holding you close. You turned back your body to see Gunwook asleep, his hair covering parts of his eyes and his duck-like lips slightly parted.

The small ray of sun shining through the small opened space in between the window illuminated his facial features, without noticing, you found yourself staring at his beautiful face for a few seconds.

You were about to stand up from the bed, but your movement woke Gunwook up from his sleep. You faced your body towards him, giving you a clear view of his face, he smiled at you, rubbing his eyes while sitting himself down on the bed.

“Morning” he laughed, still trying to gather himself up while taking his glasses from the bedside table, “Morning” you smiled, standing up from the bed “It’s the weekend, let’s do something with the others instead of studying” Gunwook brought up while stretching his body “I mean, sure, but where are we going?” you asked “We can go karaoke? We’ve been planning on doing it anyway” he mentioned, bringing up an idea that you and your group of friends had planned on doing “Sounds like a plan” you smiled.

.

When you arrived at the karaoke place, you entered the room that Yunjin had booked for the eight of you, seeing that everybody had already arrived, you and Gunwook laughed awkwardly, acknowledging the fact that the two of you arrived late, “Took you long enough” Ricky scoffed, taking a sip of his strawberry milkshake “In our defense, there was traffic” Gunwook shrugged his shoulders, sitting down on the couch with your hand in his.

Yunjin passed the mic to you, signaling you to go and choose a song to sing, and at the same time, Matthew passed his mic to Gunwook, signaling the same thing. You and Gunwook chose to sing Almost Is Never Enough, showcasing both of your talents through a duet. Your voice and Gunwook’s voice harmonized as your eyes connected while singing, losing yourself in the melody of the song.

When the song ended, you and Gunwook laughed, bowing at the crowd, or your friends, earning applause from the room, “I might cry” Sheon whined “What” Gyuvin laughed “YOU GUYS ARE SO CUTE” she exclaimed, fake crying while adoring the relationship you have with Gunwook.

Singing with Gunwook brought you back to the days when your tiny bodies would sing together for fun in each other’s room, not caring about your surroundings as a child.

You and Gunwook sat back down on the couch, you placed your head onto your boyfriend’s shoulder, making him smile and wrap his arms around you in response, he kissed the top of your head before saying something, “Babe” he said “Hm?” you look at him.

“Thank you for taking a chance with me.”