then along came the spider...

I’ve been trying to do this since forever, but never had enough strength to do it. Until this week.

I’ve recently found a part of me that was in the shadows, for so long that I can’t even remember when did I put it there. Essentially, I honestly want to interact with people in another escale, more social, more “face to face”. I found more peace in interacting with other person in real life than in this blog. I know it might sound… strange. I really can’t put it in words without offending anyone.

I just. I’m more mature now than before, when I decided to start this page. It consumes time that I’d rather use for something else. Besides, I started feeling like I had to draw for obligation, instead of fun, and that I no longer share the same feelings I had for fandom stuff. That energy went somewhere else, and I like it there. I really do.

Doesn’t mean I’ll delete anything. It’ll still be there because I know people still likes it. Actually, this blog will still be here. I won’t delete it, I’m just leaving it.

As for mutuals, I already sent you messages asking for other ways to contact you. I’ll be around for a few days more, to see if you received it, but then I’ll leave. Definitely.

But! It’s not all grief and things. I had some good times here. I’m a different person thanks to this site, I learned to love myself, as a woman, as an artist, as a person with feelings and interests. I grown with you all. You helped me through difficult times, every single one of the 854 people that decided to follow me even if we didn’t talk much. Thank you. Thank you for this experience.

Also if you want to keep in touch with my art, my twitter is lynnfaeda and my deviantart page is irishcaramel. I know they’re empty now, but I’m sure I’ll start using them. At least just a bit.

I’ve been trying to do this since forever, but never had enough strength to do it. Until this week.

I’ve recently found a part of me that was in the shadows, for so long that I can’t even remember when did I put it there. Essentially, I honestly want to interact with people in another escale, more social, more “face to face”. I found more peace in interacting with other person in real life than in this blog. I know it might sound… strange. I really can’t put it in words without offending anyone.

I just. I’m more mature now than before, when I decided to start this page. It consumes time that I’d rather use for something else. Besides, I started feeling like I had to draw for obligation, instead of fun, and that I no longer share the same feelings I had for fandom stuff. That energy went somewhere else, and I like it there. I really do.

Doesn’t mean I’ll delete anything. It’ll still be there because I know people still likes it. Actually, this blog will still be here. I won’t delete it, I’m just leaving it.

As for mutuals, I already sent you messages asking for other ways to contact you. I’ll be around for a few days more, to see if you received it, but then I’ll leave. Definitely.

But! It’s not all grief and things. I had some good times here. I’m a different person thanks to this site, I learned to love myself, as a woman, as an artist, as a person with feelings and interests. I grown with you all. You helped me through difficult times, every single one of the 854 people that decided to follow me even if we didn’t talk much. Thank you. Thank you for this experience.

Also if you want to keep in touch with my art, my twitter is lynnfaeda and my deviantart page is irishcaramel. I know they’re empty now, but I’m sure I’ll start using them. At least just a bit.

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (2005)

I need to utterly 100% trust from my conscious mind down to my toes and the tendrils of gut instinct that unconciously weave through your body and into perhaps a soul

another human being. 

And I need to know, from them, that I am ok, worthy, and safe.

And I don’t think there’s anyone like that in my life. I don’t think there ever HAS been.