The wilderness told me

i just wanted to say i really liked your meifiz dead dove fic. it was actually really beautiful to me. baffles me how people gotta be bums and insult it 🙁

Summary -> The title's self-explanatory, Shauna is indeed on Gaydar.

Warnings -> gay people actually being happy and having fun (unrealistic), minor jackieshauna (its not a warning but a heads up)

Info -> 1.8k words

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Shauna's a famous writer and even more famously a bisexual.

But she's more like bi minus the 'b' if it stands for 'boy' and including the 'i' if it stands for 'in a relationship with Jackie Taylor.' Because, sure. Theoretically she can date a guy. Maybe some brooding, lanky artist that smokes weed and does acid. Not that she would. Not in this universe at least.

Why? Because Shauna is also famously a misandrist.

Shauna didn't call herself that. She didn't need to. That clip taken in 2019 pre-covid where she was dumping her drink atop of Jeff, a much taller guy to the point that it was obvious she was targeting him on purpose did wonders for getting the point across.

If a man could say he wanted a woman in the kitchen? She could say he belonged in a factory that would hopefully get him some sort of lung cancer by the end of the year. Twitter knows. Yes, she deadnames Twitter. Only Twitter cause fuck Elon, right?

All of that personality (hating men, shouting at men, writing about killing men, being a softie for her girlfriend) was enough that she had gotten an ominous email about her, regarding a show.

Those weren't rare. She was an author, critically acclaimed. Booktok loved her novels and they weren't even all smutty, so she knows she's doing something right at least.

But this one was intriguing. It was called Gaydar, already a plus in her book. And it was also not one where she sat around for two hours repeating the same lines she had written a year ago for boring shows that she would attend for publicity.

It was only an interview, not a long one, or so it was advertised.

Shauna took to the internet and typed 'Gaydar' right into the youtube search bar and clicked. Immediately, a series of shorts appeared that displayed the host, Anania, asking questions about gay popculture slash trivia.

She watched the first short recommended and by the end of the measly sixty seconds, Shauna was laughing to herself. Seriously, this Anania had incredible energy. Any moment that seemed even a tiny bit awkward became hilarious the moment they spoke.

After her 'reasearch' (going to Tiktok and scrolling through the videos for thirty minutes), Shauna had gone back to the email that was sent to her.

It took careful consideration. Half an hour is a long amount of time to be on Youtube watching shorts considering that Shauna prides herself on being off her phone. 'Chronically offline' Jackie calls her sometimes.

In the end though, Shauna had answered with an overwhelming approval. Shauna was totally cool about it. Her message wasn't anything like 'yes for sure pls pls', she thinks.

And everything was set. All she had to do was wait a reply, she was eagerly awaiting it, and look at the details.

The reply took a shockingly short amount of time, too. It was only about a day of constantly pacing around her and Jackie's apartment for no reason. With no Jackie to comfort her as she was out for filming, Shauna had circled the apartment until her feet were sore. She'd only stopped when her phone dinged.

Shauna swiped and immediately typed in her password aka Jackie's birthday before looking at the new notification. Luckily, it was what she'd been hoping for and Shauna now had the schedule for what would be happening.

Okay, all she had to do was meet up with the crew at a random park on Saturday and record. Saturday. Saturday which was in two days. That same Saturday. But still, Shauna was less terrified than she'd been in any other show.

For once, Shauna didn't have to memorise the answers to an interview as there was no need. She'd seen the videos, the people answering looked genuinely happy to play along and try to answer. If the questions were sent earlier, that would ruin the gist of the show, wouldn't it?

The day Shauna gets an answer, Jackie returns home and is able to spend the next few days with Shauna to calm her down.

"What's got you so worked up, Shippy? Something wrong?" Jackie asked in an awfully sweet tone that embarrassed Shauna of her silly predicament.

"No, no. I've just got an interview-show thing in a few days, two days. And I'm just thinking." Shauna answered, leaning closer to Jackie.

The two were resting on the couch, covered in a blanket that kept the two warmer than they needed to be.

"What is this interview-show thing, hm? Maybe i know it, you wanna tell me?" Another sentence left Jackie's lips, a small smile made its way to those same lips.

"Some 'Gaydar' thing. They ask gay trivia and guess if you're gay, straight or homophobic." Shauna sighed, laughing at the stupidity of the premise. It's genius.

"Gaydar? Really? Oh my god, you're so lucky! Maybe i should be a writer too if that gets me on Gaydar. I love that show. It's sooo fun." Jackie's eyes were a bit wider, the same way they were when she got excited.

"You actually know it? I just found out about it. Also, if you wanna be a writer you have to actually write. You hate it even more than you hate reading."

"What are you talking about? I'm a great reader!" The blonde pouted even though she knew she was fighting a losing battle.

"You can barely read Tom Sawyer, a book they give to kids to read. You probably don't even remember the characters. You know what? Who's Huckleberry Finn?" Shauna gave Jackie a look that signaled she knew she'd won.

"Who the fuck is Huckleberry Finn?" The second Jackie had said that, Shauna had toppled over in a fit of giggles that left Jackie confused, embarrassed and irritated all in one.

Safe to say, the days passed quicker than Shauna would have prefered. Having Jackie by your side did that, losing track of time and all.

The day had arrived and Shauna would be freaking out if she hadn't overheard Jackie and Van last night betting that she would. For Taissa's high bid of twenty dollars, she won't be. She's got Tai an extra forty bucks that will probably still end up in Van's hand by the end of the day.

Shauna's outfit definitely screamed 'casual. like so casual', she was sure of that. It was a simple outfit. Ralph Lauren buttoned to the top, a pair of slacks that Shauna always wore and a coat that Jackie loved.

It was a good day when Shauna went out, probably why it was picked. It was sunny but not too hot, it was just warm enough that her coat was slightly too much.

Contrary to popular belief, Shauna wasn't a coffee drinker, though if she had to pick, she definitely prefered her coffee black with nothing else. Somewhere in their apartment Jackie randomly gags.

Though Shauna wasn't the biggest fan of coffee, she could get behind some pastries in the morning. Pain au chocolat, donut, whatever. That was what Shauna liked.On the way to the meeting spot, she'd stopped for both and came out with one only.

Croissant in hand, she was alone. Or as alone as you can be in a New Jersey coffee place with a worker named 'Emileigh' taking your order.

It didn't take long for Shauna to arrive at the meeting spot. It was open, green and nice overall. Yes, the camera crew being there was kind of funky, but it still was a 'good vibe.' Lottie Matthews would be proud of her for using such lingo.

The second the host, Anania saw Shauna, they immediately greeted her joyfully.

"Hi! I'm Anania! Shauna, right? Wow, you look absolutely gorgeous. I think i'm feeling underdressed now and this is my show."

"Yeah. I'm Shauna. Nice to meet you. But no, you can't be talking. You look great, too. If you think you're underdressed, i might as well be naked." Shauna smiled, already losing some of the tension in her body due to the atmosphere.

The two talked until the show was ready to start, which wasn't too long either. Only a couple of minutes before everything was set up.

As the cameras started to roll, Anania started speaking once more.

"Hi! I'm Anania, this is Gaydar! Today we're going to find out if you're gay, straight or a homophobe!" Was what signaled to Shauna that it had actually begun.

"You're a writer, right? What are three sapphic book tropes that you can tell us?" They turned to Shauna, holding the mic as they sneaked looks to the card.

"Well, obviously best friends that are more than that. I mean, look at me. That's how my relationship started." The second Shauna had actually started to talk, she felt calmer. The question was fun and she could feel herself easing up.

"I know that's right." Anania added, laughing.

"Sports. I know a bunch of my lesbian friends did soccer in highschool, so did i. The stereotypes are real. What else? Right. Roommates with awkward tension that need to check it out before they either fuck or murder eachother." Shauna finished, the words rolling easily.

"Alright! Now, what's gayer? The letters of the alphabet or letters that you write?"

"For me? The second letters. You know why? It might be because I'm a writer, but letters can be so romantic and gay if done right. I personally think that writing 'eat pussy eat pussy' is gayer than abcd, but i know someone who would disagree." Shauna answered, winking at the camera.

"Oh that is defintely gonna get bleeped if we wanna post this on Youtube." Anania paused before starting again. "Period though! Stand by your opinion, girl! I know you don't play about trivia night at the bar."

"Okay! Next one: When was gay marriage legalised in New Jersey?" The question had been asked and Anania looked at Shauna with a playful aura.

"Fuck! Uhh.. 2007? 2010?" Shauna spewed out, hoping to be right.

"I doubt they would have complained. No, its 2013. Any thoughts?"

"That is so recent, what? Guys, New Jersey, we need to step it up!"

The questions were funnier and funnier, now fully derailing off the basic questions that were set up at first. Something-something about 'aliens probably being great at cunnilingus' and 'gray being a gayer color than any of the colors of the rainbow.'

For how fast the time went, the interview wasn't long enough. Even then, it'd be heavily cropped into a minute of the funniest and answers and moments.

At the end of the interview, they had finally achieved the conclusion.

"If i had to guess if you're gay, straight or a homophobe.. girl, i think sappho started rolling in her grave when you were born. I think you might be gayer than me and hon, look at me!"

"I'm bi, though i am currently in a relationship with my wonderful girlfriend." Shauna said, going visibly softer at the thought of Jackie.

"A man has the chance to get you? Girl, this might be the first time on the show I'm saying this, but you better be lying." The two look at eachother before laughing again, almost like they'd thought the same thing.

Maybe Shauna should check her email more often.

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(Mfs in the comments confuse me. Like, i think i very obviously put the topics at hand in the warnings like hello??? Ppl got no fanfic etiquette: dont't like, don't read!!)

Summary -> Sophia just can't let go.

Warnings -> necrophelia, major character death, delusions, smut, fingering, dead dove: do not eat..

Info -> 1.9k words

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Sophia hums to herself as she walks down the aisles of the grocery shop, steps light and bouncy– surely cheerful. It almost looked like she was skipping.

Why? Well, once she returned home she'd be back with her beloved, sweet little Megan. The same Megan who'd tried to cling onto her the entire time. In Sophia's eyes, she just couldn't let go.

After minutes of wrestling, Sophia had managed to free herself from Megan's limbs and patted her head before laying the younger flat on the couch.

Megan hadn't even tried to follow her to the store, though Sophia's mind filled her in anyway. Megan, with the help of Sophia's imagination, was always there.

Her girl was being oh so patient– Sophia thought. Then she made a mental note to give Megan a big kiss once she was home.

Sophia looked down at her cart and counted the items. Moisturiser, vaseline, gloves, foundation, chapstick.. and blush of course!

She rolled her eyes at her forgetfulness and picked up some blush, not busying herself with the specifics like the brand or colour.

Pushing her cart, the body that was frolicking around the store now felt heavy. Not a nice sensation, bad Megan.As the items scanned at the checkout, Sophia noticed the strange look coming from the cashier. Must've been because she's literally in Katseye, you know? The ultra popular girl group and she's the leader?

She would've given the girl an autograph if she weren't in such a rush to get back home. Sorry cashier girl, maybe next time!

Sophia bags the items and then pays before hastily making her way to the car and immediately starting the vehicle.

The song she picks is one she's familar with only due to Megan who'd introduced it to her with a story.

Apparently when Megan was still a j-pop trainee, she had to get accustomed to japanese music. One day, she overheard a couple of trainees blasting this song and fell in love with how gritty and emotional it sounded.

The music player read the title; "Baroque" by Malice Mizer, a band Sophia had never heard of prior to. The lyrics? Quite ironic.

It's a good tune but it doesn't distract from the traffic and the fact that it takes longer than usual to arrive home, but she still makes it back in one piece– which is a win.

One hand is holding the bagged goods meanwhile the other is unlocking the door. She can imagine Megan's face– eyes wide lips pretty but pale. Sophia can barely wait.

She steps in and quickly kicks off her shoes. Then she shuts the door and puts the bag down to shimmy her jacket off before she walks into the living room.

"I'm back, Meg! Did you miss me? I bet you did!" Sophia smiles brightly at the image of Megan's body waiting for her, just as she'd left it. Not that she was expecting it to move, Sophia'd made sure Megan was patient for her.

Then, Sophia makes her way to the couch and scoots Megan's legs over before deciding that she'd wanted to cuddle with the other girl instead.

It took a bit of maneuvering around and making sure she didn't accidentally twist one of Megan's limbs before the two were locked into a tight embrace on Sophia's side.

Sophia pressed her head between Megan's neck and shoulder, the skin pale and fragile. The hickeys she'd left would be permanent. She had to be careful not to apply too much pressure or else there would be the risk of damaging Megan's purity.

"I missed you too. I still do, you know? It's hard not having you annoying me every day. I know you miss me nagging you. You better miss me a lot. But still don't miss me more than i miss you. You're the one gone, not me. So you have to miss me less, got it?"

This is how Sophia spent her days. Whispering sweet words to a person who wouldn't hear, pressing soft kisses to a person who couldn't feel. It should've felt useless, but it only spurred her on.

Nobody knew what she was really doing, they just assumed she'd been grieving like everyone else. Of course not though, Sophia was an action person and she acted.

She went through hell and back, fighting tooth and neck for Megan. And yes, she was successful. Sophia couldn't just leave one of her babies too far away.

"You've made me crazy, Megan. I think I'm going schizo. I see you follow me. I hear your voice. I think you're trying to tell me something. I know you're not here, but you are. Oh, i just can't stop loving you."

Sophia mumbles other muffled words, nuzzling into Megan's scent. Barely there was the usual sweet cherry, instead replaced by something simple but abstract; dread.

"I'll live for you so you can keep haunting me. Maybe i'll get a sex dream of you and i can enjoy you that way, don't you think?" She tilts her head and chuckles to herself.

"Mm, you still look so enticing. I know it's a crime to be here with you, but you won't stop me, right?"

Sophia doesn't wait for an answer, she doesn't have to and instead presses her lips to Megan's jaw. The skin all cold and lifeless, but it was still Megan and Sophia could settle for that.

Her lips, plump and pink, trail up all way to Megan's pair of own– chapped and dry and all too much a reminder of the truth which makes Sophia pull back.

"Ah, don't worry. I bought chapstick for this!" Sophia grins. She then reaches into the shopping bag, digging for a few moments before pulling out said chapstick.

Yes, it was cherry flavoured too. Sue her! God forbid she tries to be sweet, pun intended!

She pops the lid open and applies it to Megan's lips, watching the way the chapstick made contact with her beloved. She honestly felt a bit jealous but she bit back that feeling and instead focused on the body in front of her.

"You look so pretty. You always do, don't you? You can't not look pretty, can you? Be fair to the rest of us plebians who can't look like you even in death!" She huffs in faux-indignance.

Almost like she forgot her previous words, Sophia leans in and pecks Megan. She starts sweet and soft before evolving to being more lustful and needy with her kisses.

"The cashier recognised me i think.." Sophia mumbled between kisses, the sound low and husky."

She stared a lot.." another kiss. "You would be jealous right now, wouldn't you..?" She kisses desperately now, trying to mask how her actions aren't being reciprocated.

"Fuck, i hate it.." she nibbled on Megan's lower lip before slapping herself as she remembered Megan's bruises wouldn't heal.

Sophia's eyes filled up with tears almost resembled her lips, glossy and red.

"Just come back to me, you fucking idiot.." Sophia purposefully chose not to say 'come back to life'. She'd rather Megan left her for someone else. God, anything but this nightmare.

She was supposed to be mature, to have moved on, not to be clinging onto some false sense of hope that the impossible could be for her. Sophia was being greedy. Megan always called her greedy.

Finally, she couldn't handle it anymore. The tears that were barely restraining themselves now flowing freely down her cheeks. This stupid idiot had Sophia damn Laforteza ugly crying. Can you believe it?

"I hate you! I hate you! I hate you so much!" She hit Megan's chest repeatedly, not hard enough to cause bruises, not even to Megan's weak body.

"Why did you leave me? Why? Why?!" Sophia broke down, her cheeks drenched in sweat and tears together.

"Make it up to me! Right now!" And without another thought, Sophia pulled Megan's shoulders down and shoved herself onto the younger girl's lap.

With not much hesitating, she took off her own top. It was cold. Still cold even after she'd dressed Megan in her warmest hoodies. She shouldn't be shocked.

Sophia takes Megan's hands and bends them to her will, barely managing to undo the clasp of her bra with Megan's limp, boney fingers.

She continues to touch herself using Megan. Squeezing her breast, twisting her nipples. Fuck, she even makes Megan's mouth take one in. It was cold, she expected it to be. But it was warmer than everywhere else, Sophia cherished that.

"Megan, fuck.. please, baby.. keep going.." she whines. Not in need, but desperation. She didn't just want to be touched by Megan, she wanted Megan's touch. Stupid touch that she won't feel from her again.

Sophia's lost all sense of right or wrong, morals don't mean a thing anymore, she can't recognize the word shame, it's unfamiliar and it doesn't even bother her.

She undresses herself further with the help of Megan's not-so-helpful hands. Her jeans are off, a pain to get off they were. She should be worried if the denim left patterns on her sweet, but she doesn't. She can only concern herself with the need for Megan.

Her panties are wet. Fuck, they're disgustingly wet and for a damn corpse. A bitter word that leaves a horrible aftertaste on her tongue, but the only one appropriate enough to convey how inappropriate it is.

With Megan's hands as her puppets, with sheer will and brute force, she takes off her panties too. It's hard, but eventually it happens.Sophia wishes she had more self control. She's a fucked up freak who pretends to be perfect on the outside. It's a facade she drops around Megan. It's a facade she dropped around Megan.

Sophia tries using Megan's fingers to fuck herself, but it's not enough. They don't move. She has to use every muscle in her body to make Megan move even a single one. It's times like this where Sophia doesn't appreciate just how much bigger Megan is.

Eventually, somehow though, Sophia finds it. She catches the rhythm and voila, it's like Megan's fingering her. Albeit much more lazily than she actually would, but it's a victory Sophia holds proudly to her chest.

One finger's too much, the thought that she's fucking herself with her late girlfriend's fingers is enough but Sophia's desperate to feel it. She needs the fullness Megan would give her. Not even sexually, Sophia's just chasing after the feeling of not being empty even if only for a few seconds.

"Oh.. my baby, pleasee.. just a bit more of you.." Sophia's riding her girlfriend's fingers which are being puppeteered by her own, its an insane sentence. And certainly not one she'd been hoping to experience in this situation.

Sophia was so close. She could feel it. Oh, finally. Just let her let go of the pain.

That second, she burst. Her walls clamped shut, her thighs squeezing Megan's hand which would not be moving any time soon. Atleast not until Sophia willed it, which for the time being seemed impossible.

One moment she was cherishing the sensation, the next she was fleeing from it. Just then, she was reminded that it wasn't Megan who had pleased and satisfied her body's craving. No, it was her. Still her even after she'd prayed to every god she knew it to not be.

Sophia was a human and gods were not real. No, the closest there was to a god was Megan and Megan was gone.

Megan was gone.

—

it could be the best anime, with the best plot and animation but if someone posts about the hidden zoro it will immediately get canceled. now i think that would be horrible since one piece fans always have to point him out in random scenes.