His smile could have made flowers bloom in even the most desolate of places.
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@mingyuxmi
His smile could have made flowers bloom in even the most desolate of places.
m.t.//things iâll never say out loud (via iwontwrite)

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itâs real love.
âž from this moment on i'll know exactly where my life will go... seems that all i really was doing, was waiting for love.
itâs interesting to mingyu, the way that everything changes. nothing ever remains the same, which has proven to be a good thing regarding his life. there are shifts and turns and all of the things that heâs always tried to teach himself to be ready for, yet sometimes he is still taken by surprise. one of the biggest surprising changes of his life occurred four years ago on this very day. itâs not something he could ever forget, even if in the moment he wished the memory would dissipate as quickly as it formed. fortunately, it didnât go anywhere, and the instance triggered a chain of events that landed him where he is today. it was the first time that either of them managed to let down their walls and be someone else, the person that was hidden inside of both of them, for the person that already was, and forever would be, the most important entity in their lives.
time passed by quicker than mingyu ever imagined possible. before meeting the younger male, every day felt like an eternity. even for a while after, they still seemed to drag on until he felt like his body would wither away and the life would be drained from him before he could even greet dusk. yet, he managed to make it through those difficult hours, and now he finds himself content and peaceful. instead of thinking that the tunnel would collapse and crush him beneath the rubble, he felt like it was strong, sturdy, and that there was a light at the end, waiting for him, shining with hope like a lighthouse beacon on the stormiest of nights.
somehow, the young, angry boy that once clung to the past and all that he had lost has managed to heal, currently living in a world where he has dreams, and those dreams donât seem too far out of his reach. all of his desires were at his fingertips and all he had to do is push forward and close that small distance so that he could allow them to form and manifest beautifully. so, once they finished their dinner that was romantically lit by the warm glow of the candles flickering around them, mingyu quickly cleaned up behind them, allowing wonwoo to assist before taking his boyfriendâs hand and guiding him to the living room. once there, mingyu sat down on the sofa, tugging his lover close enough to softly press a kiss to his lips, smiling faintly as he continued to linger there for several seconds after.Â
slowly, he opens his eyes and pulls away enough to study all of wonwooâs features, one hand lifting to gently caress his face while he admired the never-ending beauty before him. âi love you.â itâs all he says at first, though he doesnât intend on stopping there. âiâve never loved anyone as intensely as iâve loved you. i know that i probably sound like a fucking broken record after all of this time, but iâm so goddamn thankful for you. you saved my life. you saved me. and... i mean in more ways than just the obvious. i canât see myself without you at this point, and i pray to whoever the hell thatâs listening that i wonât ever have to.â he takes a short break, stroking along the youngerâs cheekbone and jawline before kissing him again, a little longer this time.
âiâve got some things i need to get off my chest, so just... give me a few moments to get them out, okay? i think you will be more than aware when iâm done, so... i know at this point that i want to be with you for the rest of my life, jeon wonwoo. thatâs not ever going to change, i am sure of it. iâm better when iâm with you. i want to live, because i want to be with you. you are... absolutely everything to me, and i am in love with you. so hopelessly, desperately, irrevocably in love with you.â he smiles warmly at the other, taking his hand in his own. âi know that you love my birthdays even more than i do, and you always give me the best gifts and experiences and i feel so unworthy of you. but, iâm never going to give you up regardless. and, this year for my birthday, thereâs really only one thing that i want, and i want it more than iâve ever wanted anything else.â
as he pauses, he stands from the sofa just long enough to kneel down in front of wonwoo, though he actually recreates their position of the time they shared their first kiss. the difference is, mingyu takes wonwooâs place on the floor as wonwoo remains sitting, the very same place that mingyu had been on that day. âi just want you, wonwoo. i want you until the end of time, for as long as we both live... just over three years ago, i kissed you for the first time right here. then, not a long time after that, you told me to be your boyfriend... but now, iâm here and telling you that i want you to be even more than that. so, jeon wonwoo...â
another pause, allowing mingyu to take a breath and ignore his rapid heartbeat as he stares into his boyfriendâs eyes, prepared to catch the first glimpse of his reaction. âmarry me.â
lovely birthday puppy
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dressed to the nines.
wonwoomiâ
itâd been a long few months and though wonwoo didnât really want to accept that mingyu is doing a hell of a lot better now ( just in case ), he didnât have much to base his argument on anymore. mingyu could walk again, could make his own food, wash and draw his hair ( and wonwooâs, too ). he came to the bookstore with himâ he even drives them there. and itâs not like wonwoo wants him to be injured, god, no, but more that wonwoo, for once in his life, is far overly cautious. anything could happen, after all, especially if mingyuâs body didnât feel as ready as his mind did to tackle a task. wonwoo just wanted him to be careful, but as mingyu constantly reassures him, he always is. wonwoo knows heâs right, but it doesnât make him worry any less.Â
âshut up, you.â he mumbles, meeting mingyuâs eyes as heâs working his way up wonwooâs button-up shirt. itâs been a while since theyâve been out together for a date, and even longer since theyâve worn suits and perhaps wonwoo had missed it more than heâd initially thought. maybe itâs worth the risk if he gets to see mingyu dressed to the nines. ( best of both worlds, of course â he gets to keep a close eye on his boyfriend and he gets to keep an eye on his incredibly handsome boyfriend. ) âyou are so beautiful, kim mingyu. if anyoneâs in awe, itâs me. suits were made for you, handsome.âÂ
immediately, soft, breathy laughter escapes mingyu as his eyes crinkle at the corners and his cheeks become more defined at his boyfriendâs gentle snap at him. although he subconsciously expects responses such as those, they still take him by surprise on the surface and amuse him to no end. heâs fond of being lovingly âbulliedâ by the younger, and it shows in the way his eyes sparkle and the grin remains on his face. he slightly raises an eyebrow, playfully and silently both questioning and testing wonwooâs authority. âi wonât shut up, no.â the words are spoken sternly, but from the enamored look on his face, itâs obvious that heâs just playing along.
once the last button is done, skilled fingers move to his boyfriendâs collar to straighten it and ensure itâs crisply folded over correctly before his hands trail down to wonwooâs shoulders, then slightly continue moving until he strokes his chest through the shirt. as heâs complimented by his boyfriend, he finds himself leaning in and grinning against familiar lips before tenderly capturing the bottom one between his own and kissing him slowly, lingering even once heâs stopped. âdamn. could have fooled me... seeing you in them, i could have sworn that they were made for you. iâm completely enthralled.â
dressed to the nines.
âž mini event starter for @wonwoomi.
healing was a process that he was too familiar with by now. it was also something that he absolutely despised by this point, but mingyu had no other choice but endure. if he could keep pushing forward to the next day, then eventually he would be completely healed and everything would go back to normal. for a while, his spirit was broken, but he was beginning to regain his previous state of mind. the fire in his heart had been reignited and he had thirst for a lot of the desires that felt far away at times during his recovery. he looked forward to being physically powerful enough to return to his profession, but he was needing to take this slow for now.
to regain a bit of normality, he was going out on the first date with wonwoo since he had been hurt several months ago. getting dressed up in formal wear had been something that he missed a lot. he loved feeling professional, expensive, and smart, which is what dressing in a tuxedo did for him. currently, his long, large fingers worked their way up his boyfriendâs white shirt, buttoning each button on his way to the top. his movements were quick and experienced, his gaze flickering from what he was doing up to wonwooâs face. with the help of a soft smile, his expression shifted into an extremely gentle one as he breathed out a quiet laugh. âso handsome. iâm in awe by the way you never fail to take my breath away.â
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hello, handsome~

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sanctuary.
➠birthday starter for @wonwoomi.
to claim that itâd been a rough month would be a massive understatement. mingyu found himself returning to an extremely dark place that he hoped heâd never have to experience again. unfortunately, life doesnât seem to always favor him. constantly, he finds himself trying hard to do what he believes is the right thing, though somehow heâs always punished for it. maybe it was the universe trying to remind him that he wasnât as pure of a person as heâd like to believe. no matter what it was, he didnât feel sorry for himself... not really. mostly, he was hurting for wonwoo. the second he was captured, his mind immediately went to his boyfriend and the pain that this was going to cause him. he never wanted to hurt him, but somehow... this is where theyâre always ending up. he felt ashamed and angry...Â
the guilt was eating him alive.
now, it was the love of his lifeâs birthday and mingyu didnât appear to be anything but a pathetic, broken, shell of a man. he was back to talking very little... or... less than usual, anyway. at least he wasnât as silent as he had been during the last dark time of his life, but he was dangerously close. the healing process had been absolute hell since he was usually trapped in one place for hours at a time, left with nothing but his own terrifying thoughts.
after missing so many birthdays, mingyu finally thought that he had made up for them and then this happened. he had no gift, no cake... nothing. only himself, and at the moment, he felt like that was the shittiest god damn present in the entire universe. he didnât know what to do, or if there was anything he could do. though, he also knew he would fall into a deeper hole if he didnât attempt anything. he felt like enough of a let down right now, he couldnât add another reason to the never-ending list. âmaybe... you could help me to the kitchen. we can make you a cake together... if we have the ingredients.â he paused, sighing quietly and looking down. âiâm sorry. i desperately wish that i could give you what i think you deserve... i want you to have a happy birthday, i just donât know how to achieve that.â
code gold.
wonwoomiâ
everything is just a little bit off today. wonwooâs never moved with all that much urgency, but usually when he calls like that, mingyuâs dropped everything to rush to his side before he can even finish talking. perhaps his boyfriend could already sense the direction today would be going. if it were him, he doesnât think heâd be in any rush to experience it all either.Â
mingyuâs words are haunting. itâs only two simple words, two syllables, not even uttered particularly loudly or desperately, but they travel right through him. for once, he doesnât miss the small tells in mingyuâs body language; the way his jaw clenches and his eyes harden on the television screen and his muscles ( though maybe wonwoo does pay attention to those more often than he claims ) tense through his casual, comfortable t-shirt. heâs only a second away from reaching out to intertwine their fingers so that he canât hold a fist so hard that his nails dig into his palms when he realisesâÂ
âknow what?âÂ
itâs likely a product of his own forgetfulness rather than his typical disinterest in the world around him. when it comes to gangs and the shadow side of his life, he tries his best to at least keep up to date with phoenixâs doings. he can never know when not knowing will put him at a disadvantage, but in the reasonable heat of this moment, his mind is entirely blank. it doesnât matter all too much, himself safe at home with his protective boyfriend, but he wonât always be so fortunate. âwhy, what haveââ he doesnât get to finish his question, though, the broadcast beginning and his eyes widening the moment he hears the familiar name. they know.Â
mingyuâs words are even more haunting now, echoing in his mind as it wanders to the possibilities for hydrusâ retaliation. because they will retaliate. a gang full of stupid brutes wonât even hesitate before enacting some mind-numbingly elaborate scheme for revenge, he just wonders who itâll be more at the expense of â the gang that exposed their traitor, or the gang who lured him in. âshit.â finally, he offers his hand to mingyuâs, fingertips grazing over the skin of his palm. âjust fucking great.âÂ
at his boyfriendâs question, mingyu simply takes a moment to look at wonwoo. his brain is moving far too rapidly for him to figure out what heâs supposed to say. he feels like itâs all so obvious, not realizing that everyone wouldnât come to the conclusion as quickly as he would. heâs silent, unwillingly so. itâs as if he no longer remembers a single syllable. itâs all too much, and while he isnât intending to ignore wonwoo, thatâs what he does. he looks away from him, eyes trailing back to the television as he continues to stare in silence. despite the anxiety that he feels rising, he somehow manages to appear calm and composed. his breathing remains even and his heart rate doesnât appear to increase. maybe heâs numb to it all.
thickly, mingyu swallows as he shifts on his feet. he wants to move, to somehow take action one way or another, but there are still so many questions in his head that he doesnât have the answers to. it renders him useless... at least for now.
it isnât long before mingyu feels his boyfriendâs fingertips against his palm. itâs soothing, though itâs not enough for mingyu to actually feel soothed. he feels the opposite, really, and no amount of contact or affection would be able to cure that. he feels himself mourning for their brother before heâs actually dead. he will be. at this point, itâs only a matter of time. mingyu struggles to swallow, his throat aching from how tight it seems. he hates that there isnât anything that he can do... and even though hydrus will be the ones that technically murder drifter, lynx allowed it. it was more their fault than anyone elseâs, so his hatred burns bright for both gangs. he doesnât know what to do, what to feel. what to say... so he says nothing.
instead, he lets go of wonwooâs hand and walks around to the front of the sofa, sliding over his boyfriendâs legs just enough for him to have room to sit. once he is, he leans forward and hangs his head, both hands raising so that fingers can thread through his hair, fingernails digging into his scalp. this was too much for him to process... phoenix lost this battle.
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dead man walking.
mixnxxâ
Moments ago he was situated in one of the main skyscrapers that loitered around the city. One that was close enough to have a perfect vantage point to eliminate any threat surrounding the current execution. Sure enough, Nox watched gangs - phoenix and hydrus - alike mess about the public gathering. The view painted out the perfect image of ants lost in the midst of chaos. It doesnât take long for him to start eliminating people off, bodies dropping down on the ground as though they weighed nothing.Â
He kills off very many phoenix thugs and a few hydrus members who showed their true skin during the little chaotic battleground. He would have continued to do so too, except he receives an order from their leader to come down and help clean up the mess. It wasnât usually his job, but when you get an order from the king, there is no disobeying the law. Besides, there were special instructions that came up with his little housekeeping duties.Â
It only took Nox a few minutes to get down to town square, shotting anyone who isnât in his gang straight wherein the head when they dared come his way. It didnât matter if they were civilians or not. Glancing around the middle of the busy area, he recognizes a familiar face who wasnât a part of their fraction. Instantly, he fires a precise shot on Ghostâs right leg. Then gesturing towards the hydrus solders to crowd in on their enemy. Nox then first a warning shot on the other phoenix member that he saw Ghost was trying to help; the fired a warning shot straight into the manâs skull.
Looking towards Ghost, Nox raises an unamused brow âYouâre far away from home, little bird. Wasnât very wise of you to leave the nest today.â The King had his reason for this public execution, Nox was only pleased to see that those purposes have been met. He gestures for the hydrus soldiers to bring Ghost up, only to hit him on the side of the head effectively knocking the younger man out.Â
âTake him to the Dungeon,â An old abandon warehouse in the outskirts of the city, where most of Hydrusâs torture and interrogation spree occurs. âDonât make a mistake of tying him up with a rope, use chains then start with the process- but donât break his bones. Iâll be there soon.âÂ
in the past, he had been so trained and tailored to be a killer that he rarely let anyone get the drop on him. over the years, however, his senses seem to have dulled significantly. perhaps he became too comfortable, or allowed his longing for a more casual and normal life to take away from everything that he had learned. he would find himself in more unfortunate situations than he would like to admit, which often left him feeling insecure, mentally scolding himself for slipping. in this line of work, he genuinely couldnât afford to have a moment of weakness. that kind of thing is exactly what gets you killed⌠and mingyu was walking on thin ice as of late.
in hindsight, this was all his own fault. he shouldnât have inserted himself into a situation without thoroughly figuring out what he was dealing with. he wasnât focused, he wasnât sharp, and now he allowed for himself to be taken by surprise. all of the gunshot and chaos caused him to miss the sound of footsteps drawing nearer to him and the other hydrus men that he was so focused on.
the pain that he feels in his leg is so excruciating that he doubles over, dropping to the ground and removing all weight from the injury. the cry that he lets out isnât terribly loud, but itâs enough for the other male to realize that he certainly managed to do some damage. suddenly, his head is spinning. he starts to panic, though it isnât actually for himself. he canât help but allow his mind to drift to the fact that he never told wonwoo what he was doing⌠and now, he isnât sure what the future holds. it makes him want to vomitâŚ
the words that spill from the other hitmanâs mouth make him both angry and highly annoyed. his already pained expression shifts into one of disgust, though he isnât sure that anyone will be able to tell much of a difference. he doesnât give him the satisfaction of a verbal response, but it is soon made obvious that he may not have given him the chance for that regardless. before he can even begin thinking of a way to escape this hell, he feels a sharp pain that lasts a split second before everything fades out.

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Your scars are a warning to all future monsters, of the hell you have survived before them, every demon you vanquished, and every battle you won.
Nikita Gill (via meanwhilepoetry)
dead man walking.
âž mi:execution starter for @mixnxx.
unfortunately, mingyu didnât have a great track record of making the best decisions when his vision is clouded by the insatiable desire for vengeance. he was afraid of this. when he first witnessed the broadcast and predicted what would come, he prayed that he wouldnât be affected this way. finally, during a peaceful period in his life, something has to force itself into existence that would turn everything upside down. itâd been a long time since mingyu came face to face with this version of himself. he was desperate for things to remain the way that they had been, not for everything to shift, the changes digging their claws into his existence and refusing to let him be. he felt himself slipping, which left him absolutely terrified.
nothing felt right. and heâd be ashamed to say it, but wonwoo was the last thing on his mind after he made his way into the crowd, witnessing the death of one of his people. it was as sickening as watching a member of the family be slaughtered right before his eyes. it made something snap inside of him.
not wanting hydrus to feel invincible and as if they could take whatever they want, including the peace of the innocent civilians around them, he took it upon himself to attempt alleviating some of the chaos. he helped a person or two before coincidentally stumbling upon two hydrus members tormenting one of his own. he wasnât sure what they wanted with the other phoenix member, but he took it upon himself to step in... they had no right.