mingkiyoo

The first sign is the headache, a low, dull throb at the back of your skull. It’s not a full-blown migraine yet, but it might become one and that’s your first indication that your heat is close. You’ve done your suppressant rationing and your bargaining and your plotting and planning, but in the end it’s going to come down to luck if you can make it through the recording. 

You had asked the company about their heat leave policy in the most casual way that you could, still new enough to KQ that it seemed natural for an omega to be asking. You don’t know why you were surprised, but as always the policy is disappointing. Full health coverage only after ninety days of employment, and until then not only are your suppressants not covered any heat leave is fully unpaid. 

You had studied your cycle calendar in detail and tried to map out the dates, but no matter how you drew it or cut up the last of your suppressants to try and extend the effects, your heat was going to fall on or around your first real performance. And it’s not like you’re an idol, it’s not like the camera will be focused on you, but the idea of letting your new crew down two months into being here  is too fucked a thought to entertain. 

Your throat feels dry after the first run through of the routine, unnaturally so, a tight cough building in the back of your throat as you try to hold it together. The minute the music fades you’re falling out of formation before anyone else and covering your mouth with your elbow, coughing dryly into your sleeve. 

“You good?” San asks from his place next to you. 

“Mhm,” You nod tightly, but the cough is lodged in your throat, “I just need to,”

A bottle of water is pushed into your hand and you nod in thanks, unscrewing the cap fast and knocking it back, letting the cold water soothe your throat. 

“Are you sick, y/n?” San crosses his arms to appraise you better, ducking his head and getting a good look at you. 

“No, no,” You take a deep breath now that you can and shake your head, “just dry, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to slow us down.” 

“Let’s take five,” Yunho announces from the front. 

You take another sip of water and the group starts to break apart. The cool bottle keeps you grounded and as far from anxiety as you can possibly get with the knowledge of this hanging over you. 

“You good?” Yujin, one of the few other female BB Trippin dancers, asks, her chest heaving as she jogs up to you. 

“Yeah, yeah,” You assure her, “I just need a minute,” 

She squeezes your shoulder before moving past you, and you lean back against the wall nearby before taking a deep breath. Your eyes go unfocused towards the mirror as you collect yourself, drinking more water and hoping that no one’s upset with the delay. You’re still new here, but so far you’ve been accepted into the fold well, only a few of the dancers more aloof, so focused on the work you haven’t had a chance to try and make friends. You hope they aren’t upset at your sudden need for a break right on the first run through on the big day. You feel hot eyes on you, and you focus, catching Minseok in the mirror. He’s always pleasant and polite, but never overly friendly, and when you catch his gaze momentarily you see that his jaw is tight and his throat jumps like a spasm as he swallows and averts his eyes from yours. 

Your brow knits in confusion, but Yunho appearing next to you breaks the brief moment of concentration and you turn towards him. 

His eyes are soft, but his face is still serious and wired into work, “You sure you’re good?” 

“Definitely,” You protest, “really,” 

He chews the inside of his lip for a moment before adjusting the cap on his head and holding out a little bottle of pills, “Your head?” 

“How did you know?” You thought you were good at concealing it. 

“You keep wincing when I put the high lights on,” He nods up towards the fluorescents, “migraine?” 

“A little one,” You assure him, you know he’s got to be worried about you dropping out of formation right before recording, “but I got this,” 

As the lead choreographer and director of today’s stage performance, he’s been on edge this week. He’s so incredibly focused on the finer details down to every precise placement, finger extension, facial expression. You’ve been a dancer for a long time, and you’ve worked behind idol groups before, but not like this. The atmosphere here is different, and working with New World doesn’t feel like backup dancing at all. And for Yunho, it’s become clear to you over the past couple of months that while he isn’t the boss, he is the leader here and he takes that responsibility incredibly personally. 

But despite all that pressure and responsibility, he surprises you when he smiles at your admission, “I get them sometimes. Do you get auras?” 

You shake your head.

“I do,” He offers you the bottle again, “it sucks, but you know, the light sensitivity is always the worst thing,” 

You take the bottle and tip the migraine medication out into your palm, “Yeah,” 

“Are you sure you don’t need to tap out?” He offers, voice a little softer so that it’s a conversation just between you, “I know you don’t want to, but I can’t have you falling on stage,” 

“No, honestly, I wouldn’t put the team in that position,” You look up, trying your best to convey with your eyes that you can make it, even though the low throb in your skull says otherwise. 

“Okay,” He nods once, “I just had to ask. Are you ready?” 

“Ready,” 

“Alright,” He takes a step away and moves back towards the main part of the room. This time he doesn’t adjust the lights, he keeps the room low lit and calm and he claps as he turns back to the room at large, “Let’s run it again. We have an hour before the van gets here, and then from there it’s go time. We ready?” 

A chorus of yes echoes back, and you lend your voice to the mix, shaking off the pounding in your brain. You can do this. You can. Wooyoung punches your arm softly as he walks by you to get to his starting position, flashing you a smile and an encouraging nod. With a deep exhale you let it go, and you get to work. 

By the time you finish the third run through, your muscles are screaming, but you’ve managed to hold the rest tightly in. The migration medication seems to be helping, and though you can sense Yunho continuing to glance at you in the mirror he seems pleased that you’re keeping up. You just need to make it through this day, and then you can let it all fall apart.

With a glance at your watch, the hour now up, you realize just how much more time there is to get through. It’s only six in the morning, the earliest you’ve had to get up and be ready for this job yet. You’ve been told that if you’re ever a supporting dancer for a comeback stage it will be even earlier, two or three to accommodate pre-recording time. For this though, you’re not filming a comeback stage. You’ll get to the studios alongside New World at around seven-thirty, spend at least an hour or two getting ready in the green room, and then from there it will be a waiting game, and you don’t really know how a show like this will go. Music shows are a well oiled machine of time management, but this type of larger long program for their survival show stage is something you just aren’t used to. 

You just have to, without question, make it back home, but that might be eight hours from now or twelve, and that level of uncertainty makes your stomach churn. 

On the bus you take stock. Sore muscles, dry throat, ever so slight cramping in your back, bubbling migraine, fatigue. You’re not yet feeling the waves of hot flashing blush or deep, burgeoning cramps, but it’s not too far off. It feels like at the very least the quarter suppressant you choked down this morning might be doing just enough to mask the scent of your pre-heat, and that’s the best you can do. At least for now, no one’s noticed how close you are to the edge. No one, except possibly Wooyoung. 

“Here,” He says from his seat next to you, offering you a lozenge from a bag, “for your throat,” 

You stare for a second at the offering before your brain fires and you accept one with quiet thanks. Omegas often keep cooling lozenges around for their heat and pre-heat, something to take the edge off the soreness and dryness and it doesn’t surprise you that the only one attuned to your slight discomfort is another omega.

“You can keep the bag,” He places it on your lap, “if you need it,” 

“I’m good,” You pass it back, not wanting to admit how close you really are, “like I said, just dry,” 

“Okay,” He nods, and then he lets the subject lie, “are you ready for today?” 

“Yeah,” You swallow tightly, “nervous, but yeah,” 

“Mm,” He grins, relaxing back into his seat, “it’s fun, I promise,” 

“Yeah?” 

“When you see it all come together on the monitors,” He nods, “it just makes it all worth it,” 

“All the work, you mean?” You can’t help but glance up the length of the bus, to where Yunho sits alongside San and Mingi, all talking quietly and seriously amongst themselves. 

“Yeah,” He nods, “you’ve been working a lot of nights too, catching up,” 

“I just don’t want me being new to be the reason it’s not perfect,” You reply with ease. 

“That’s good,” Wooyoung says, “and I promise if you weren’t nailing it, you’d know by now.” 

“Would I?” 

“You wouldn’t be sitting here,” Wooyoung nods towards the front, “Mingi would have cut you ages ago,” 

“Mingi?” He’s been nothing but nice, flirty, and funny. He’d been helping you out at night to get better, you thought so that Yunho and San didn’t have an inkling that you’re behind. 

“His opinion is the one that matters,” Wooyoung laughs, whispering to you so the rest of the bus can’t hear, “have you not picked up on that yet?” 

You shake your head slowly. 

“y/n,” Wooyoung smiles as he realizes just how clueless you are, “Yunho would recommend we all stop drinking water if Mingi said it was a good idea. Mingi trusts his gut, and Yunho trusts Mingi,” 

“Oh,” You breathe. 

“Yep,”

“What about Jaemin?” You ask softly. You’ve only met the actual crew leader a few times here and there, but most of the time he’s not at the studio itself. 

“He keeps the work coming and the doors open,” Wooyoung says, “but they keep us moving.” 

You let his words sink in, the reality that for weeks you’ve been working side by side with Mingi and confessing all your fears of inadequacy, that he was the person who had to approve of you all along and you never knew it. You sigh, “Are you just trying to hype me up, or are you being serious?” 

“I don’t lie.” He says, full stop, no room for misinterpretation. 

The menthol lozenge burns a little on your tongue, but soothes the cut feeling in the back of your throat when you swallow and you find that finally for the first time all night you’re able to really exhale. With a soft nod you turn to him, “Okay,” 

“Okay?” 

“Let’s fucking do this,” 

He grins, “After this stage you’re officially one of us, you know,” 

Your eyes narrow, “You said that after my first week,” 

He rolls his eyes, “Okay, maybe I lie a little,” 

For the afternoon, with the lightness of Wooyoung by your side, you forget about your headache. The day happens fast, even with all the sitting and waiting in green rooms. There’s so much to remember, from camera positions to where the light is coming from, to how to adapt to the stage floor being just a little smaller than what you were working with back at KQ. The members seem suddenly focused in a way you’ve never experienced, you know what this means to them. To all of you. By the time it’s filming, you’ve had at least six lozenges and taken two more painkillers for your migraine to keep it at bay, and you're starting to feel exhausted. You film it twice, from two angles. Wide for choreography and tighter close ups on the members for cinematic facial expressions and intricacies of movement. 

When it’s all over and you pile back into the van, your legs feel heavy and disconnected. If you can just make it back to the studio, you can change and call an Uber and get inside before it knocks you sideways. 

Someone suggests drinks, someone else suggests a celebratory meal. 

You want nothing more than for the van to speed up. 

You grip your hand tight and breathe through the tight sensations in your body and no one ever notices a thing, not even Wooyoung who seems caught in the euphoria of the performance, your quietness blissfully overlooked for the moment. 

At the studio, it takes time for the locker room to clear out after the show, everyone else riding on the high of the performance too and slow to pack up for the night. It had gone so well, despite the way you had to push through the pain.  As the pain worsens, you’re not sure how you’re going to get home, but you know you need to figure it out soon. You can maybe call one of your roommates, but on a Friday night it feels unlikely that they’ll be available or sober enough to get you. 

A cramp ripples through you, and you grip down on the wooden bench, your leg bouncing to try and distract you from the waves of sensation washing over you. It’s been years since your last heat, and you can already tell this is going to be hard and heady. Sweat is collecting on your brow, waves of uncomfortable warmth passing through your body, and you can feel the way your breath is tightening. You really don’t have long, a matter of hours maybe, but it’s obvious to anyone who looks at you what’s going on. 

You fish your phone out of your bag and scan through your contacts, blinking hard to try and clear your blurring vision. The phone keeps ringing, first one of your roommates, then another, and when you hit their voicemail boxes for the second time, your phone slips from your fingers in frustration. Tears prick the back of your eyes, your hands shaking. You really thought you had more time. 

A noise across the locker room startles you, the heavy metal clang of a locker closing and you realize someone’s still in here with you. You’re trembling, a mix of abject panic and pain, your omega surfacing inside you in a way that you can’t control. Footsteps come closer, and though you’re still shielded by a row of lockers and can’t see him, you can smell him. Rich, cocoa and cinnamon. 

Mingi walks past your section of lockers, and you hope he won’t notice, but you’re never, ever that lucky. 

“Hey,” He says when he catches sight of you, “you did good tonight,” 

You keep your eyes away from his, curling down further to tug at the laces of your shoes and hope that he doesn’t notice the way you’re clenching your jaw to keep from crying, “Thanks,” 

“Yeah,” He says, and you hear his steps shift and then pause. 

Your eyes press closed as you hide behind the curtain of your hair. 

“y/n,” Mingi asks, “are you okay?”

“Mhm,” You pull your laces tight, your insides cramping painfully as your body registers the presence of an alpha. 

“Are you sure?” He asks. 

Biting down on the inside of your cheek you steady your voice, “Yeah, I’m good, just tired.” 

Mingi doesn’t answer, doesn’t move, and there’s really only so long you can pretend to tie your shoes. You tug your other laces taut and then do your best, leaning back up into a normal sitting position despite the pained pressure inside you. You grip down on the bench again and breathe slowly through your nose. 

“Are you hurt?” Mingi asks, concern evident in his voice, “Did you pull something?” 

You shake your head, you can’t trust your words. 

“Something’s wrong,” Mingi takes a step forward and you jolt back, sliding off the edge of the bench with a tight sound, your back connecting hard with the lockers behind you. His eyes widen at your sudden movement and you hold a hand out to keep him right where is. 

“Stop,” You plead, body shaking, “don’t,” 

“You are hurt,” He can feel your fear, and his eyes are panicked as he scans your body, “what happened?” 

“It’s not,” You sigh, shaking your head, another hot flash making your cheeks light up with blush and cutting your words. 

When he takes another step forwards you watch his face change, the way his breathing settles low into his chest as he regards you and comprehension starts to relax his face. Your eyes press closed as another cramp ripples through your abdomen, and suddenly you feel the first rush of slick. 

“Fuck,” Mingi says, “what are you doing here?” 

“Working,” You groan, opening your eyes again. 

“You should be on heat leave,” He shakes his head, “you should be home,”

“I know,” You nod, your throat growing tight and tears bubbling back up, “I-I asked, but it would have been unpaid, and with the performance… I couldn’t afford to not be here. I thought I had a little more time,” 

“Okay,” He steps a little closer and you shake your head, pressing your body back further against the lockers as if that will do anything, “it’s okay, I’m not going to hurt you.” 

“I know that,” You laugh humorlessly, “but right now your scent is making this harder,” 

“Oh,” He swallows hard, “I didn’t mean to,” 

“Mingi,” You meet his gaze and his eyes soften, “I need help,” You wish you didn’t have to ask. You wish you had just stayed home, not rationed your suppressants, and just handled this on your own. 

He nods, straightening up and swallowing hard, “Okay, let’s go,” 

“Go?” You watch as he picks up your bag and slings it over his shoulder with his own. 

“Can you walk?” He holds a hand out to you, an offering and nothing more if you want it. 

“Yeah,” You stammer, pushing yourself off the lockers, but one step already has you shaky and you grip his hand and let him hold your weight to keep you standing. 

“Alright,” He shakes his head, “I’m sorry, just hold your breath or something,” 

His arm wraps around your back, pulling you up and supporting your weight with a sure hand on your forearm and with his help, you take a step. His scent is dizzying, equal parts calming and arousing, and tears roll down your cheeks as you try to keep quiet and hold it together. Slick pools between your thighs and you’re sure he can smell it, but he’s doing a good job of saying nothing about it to you. 

“W-where are we going?” You manage as he pushes the door to the locker room open and steers you out into the dimly lit hallway of the dance studio. 

“We need to get Yunho,” He says with ease, like it’s obvious and poses absolutely no problem. 

At the thought of him, your body clenches and you bite down to keep a tight, pained sound inside. “No, Mingi, he can’t,” 

“We’re past that point,” Mingi is all but dragging you now, “I need his help, I can’t get you home by myself.” 

Yunho’s the only one with a car between them, not the mention a driver’s license. Mingi typically hitches a ride with him or using the subway, and at this stage in your heat, it’s not safe to take public transportation or put you in a taxi. There are too many variables, too many people you don’t know, and you need someone you trust to get you to a safe location to ride this out. The idea of Yunho tears your body in two, caught between the feeling of wanting him and never wanting him to know about this, but you know he’s safe, that safe place. 

There’s a light still on in the office at the end of the hall where you know Yunho is going through footage from the day and making notes while things are still fresh in his mind. When you’re close enough to the door but still safely in the hall, Mingi calls out, “Yunho!”

“Yeah?” He shouts back, and you can hear the distraction in his voice, a clear picture of him writing something down as he calls over his shoulder. 

“I need your help,” Mingi adjusts his grip on you, holding you close as your body trembles in his arms, “like right now,” 

“Uh,” Yunho trails off, “yeah, okay, yeah, I’m coming.” You hear Yunho jump up from the chair in the office, his quick footsteps, and another wave of fear flutters through you. 

“Mingi,” You grip down on his hand. 

“Right, fuck,” He remembers himself, tucking you closer to his chest, “slowly,” 

“What?” Yunho’s voice comes from the office but you can see his shadow on the floor in the hall as he gets closer to the door. 

“Yunho!” Mingi’s voice is deep, clear and firm and you let your head rock back on his shoulder, “Slowly, seriously,” 

He’s not distracted anymore, he’s incredibly alert. Yunho steps into the hallway slowly, just as directed when he hears the tenor of his best friend’s voice, and it takes him seconds to size up what’s going on. 

“y/n,” He takes a half step forward and stops himself, arm outstretched, “oh no,” 

His soft tone soothes you instantly but it doesn't help the emotional live wire you feel like you’re walking, and a little sob bubbles out of you, “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” 

“You’re in heat,” He says, shaking his head, “it’s not safe for you to be here, why are you here?” 

Your omega shrinks and more tears spill over, the wave uncontrollable now, “I’m sorry, please,” 

Yunho’s eyes flick to Mingi’s before he comes closer, reaching out for you, “I’m not upset,” 

Relief washes through you, “You’re not?” 

“No,” He assures you, his voice dropping to a warm and even tone, “I’m just worried about you, I want you safe. Come here,” 

You comply instantly, stepping out of Mingi’s hold and straight into Yunho’s arms, letting him tuck you close into his chest before he adjusts his stance and brings your face up to the crook of his neck. His scent washes over you like a salve, nothing but warm rain and fresh cut cedar. 

“Shh,” He soothes you, running a hand down your back, “there we go, take a deep breath,” 

For a minute, it feels like your cramps have passed, your head clearing. He grounds you and brings you back into your body with his touch and you breathe low and slow, your hands gripping his shirt. 

“Okay,” Yunho murmurs, “what’s your heat plan? We can take you and get you there safe,” 

You shake your head into his neck, nuzzling closer to his skin, “I don’t really have one,” 

“What do you mean?” He asks, clearly not understanding. 

“You can take me home,” You tell him, eyes drifting closed, “I usually can take care of things myself,”

“That’s insane,” Mingi says from behind you both, and you feel Yunho’s hands tighten on your back. 

“Who’s there with you?” Yunho asks, “Don’t you have roommates?” 

You nod, resting on his shoulder, “Mhm,” 

“y/n,” He prompts you, “what are their designations?” 

“Mm,” You’re feeling so warm wrapped in his scent, “Ari and Hyejin are betas, Hyunwoo is an alpha but he’s probably out tonight,” 

“Tonight,” Yunho shakes his head, “you go through heats like this with an alpha home?” 

“Not like this,” You mumble into his chest and he shifts you in his arms. 

“What did you say?” 

“Not a heat like this,” You manage, “I’m normally on pretty heavy suppressants,” 

“She can’t go home like this,” Mingi says, “this is still just pre-heat,”

“I think so,” Yunho’s voice sounds far away, and you sink into the steady sound of his heart and the feeling of his hand smoothing a comforting line up and down your back. When he finally speaks again, his voice is so tender you almost don’t recognize it, “Can we bring you home? Let me help, you can’t go through a heat this hard by yourself,” 

“Yunho,” You shudder against him, “we can’t,” 

The thought of his cock inside you flashes through your brain, and you imagine the feeling of his swollen knot locking in, your body full and sated and the cramps dissipating. Your core throbs at the idea and you feel another rush of slick rush through you. 

“You’re in pain,” He murmurs, dropping his head a little lower, “you need an alpha. Let me take care of you, let me take you home,” 

You should say no, you should take your chances in your apartment with your box of toys and a bottle of lube, but you keep breathing in his steady scent and all you can do is say yes. Yunho’s been kind to you since the beginning, taking care of you for weeks even if he didn’t really know it, and he can take care of you now too if you just let him. 

“We’ll take care of you,” Mingi cuts in, offering his help softly, “and make sure you’re safe until it’s over,” 

“Are you sure?” You pull back from Yunho’s neck, leaning heavily on his chest still. 

He cups your cheek in his broad hand, bringing your eyes up to his, and nods, “Positive, and if you don’t,” he swallows hard tries to find the right words, “if you don’t want to have sex we can figure something out, but you need a place that’s private, and you need to be with more experienced alphas who know how to keep their hands to themselves.”

They’re not wrong. You just have to trust them. You just have to let go. 

Your body makes the decision for you, the way your aching and throbbing is soothed just being between them, and you let your mind follow. 

“Okay,” You sigh, leaning into his hand, “yes,” 

“Alright,” He sighs, “don’t worry about a thing, okay? We’ll get you home.” Yunho’s thumb rubs a soothing pattern into the soft gland at your wrist and it relaxes you further. He looks over you for a moment, “Mingi, I need you to take her for a minute, I’ll get the car.” 

When Yunho steps away, just to try and pass you back to Mingi, the lack of contact strikes panic through you and you shake your head, “No, no, don’t go,” 

“It’s not for long,” He assures you, his hands sliding down your arms as he separates from you slowly, “I’ll be back in 5 minutes,” 

A panicked whine leaves your throat and your mind spins, “Don’t leave me!” 

“Hey,” He soothes you but you don’t respond, all you know is he’s leaving and you’ll be without him and the thought makes your body clench. “y/n, hey, y/n,” He tries again but you’re shaking your head. “Omega.” His voice roots you to the spot. 

Mingi’s hands close over you gingerly from behind, and Yunho nods as your panicked noises stop, “Okay, see?” He says, “Listen to me, omega, I’m not going far. You won’t be alone, Mingi’s right here. I’ll be back in five minutes, and then I won’t leave you again, okay?” 

“Okay,” You lean back into Mingi, and let his touch keep you warm. 

Yunho nods and then keeps his eyes on you as he moves back to the office, darting out of your eye line for a moment. You can hear him grabbing his things; the zip of his bag, the jingle of his keys, and the lights flick off before he jogs back out. 

“Here,” He says, holding out his jacket, “put this on,” 

Mingi takes it from his hands, and eases it onto you. When you pull the jacket up, his scent washes over you again and you sigh. 

“Better?” Yunho asks. 

“Mhm,” You murmur, and tucked into the warmth of Mingi’s chest with their combined scents easing you, you can breathe. You keep your eyes closed, but you hear when Yunho walks out the front door and your body clenches a little, but you take a deep breath in.

“Mingi,” You finally say, looking up at him, “thank you for not leaving me,” 

“Hey,” He shakes his head, “I was never going to leave you there,”

You nod, twisting in his arms so you can tuck your face into his chest and let his arms wrap fully around you, “I’m sorry,” you sigh, “I’m not usually such a touchy person,” 

He chuckles, smoothing your hair with his hand, “It’s okay, I like it,” 

“And Yunho?” 

“Oh,” Mingi laughs, “he’s a cuddler, don’t worry.” 

Your stomach cramps and you groan into his chest, “God,” you grip him, “I forgot how much this hurts,” 

“How long has it been?” Mingi shifts his grip so that more of your weight is supported, “You know, since your last real heat?” 

“Years,” You tell him honestly, “they’ve been so much easier on suppressants,” 

“Mm,” Mingi nods above you, “when this hits it’s going to be intense,” 

“Have you helped a partner through heat before?” 

“I have,” Mingi says, “but Yunho hasn’t,” 

“Oh,” You have no idea why Yunho offered himself up immediately like he had done it a thousand times before if he’s never shared a heat with someone. The sure, practiced tenor of his voice when he called you omega rings in your ears. 

“Don’t worry,” Mingi assures you, “I know what I’m doing, and Yunho’s got a handle on himself. He won’t touch you if you don’t want him to,” 

“I’m really, really not worried about that,” You sigh. 

“Good,” Mingi’s phone starts to vibrate in his pocket, and he adjusts his arms around you so he can find it, “We’ll take care of you - Hey? Are you out front?” 

You can’t hear Yunho’s side of the conversation but you just wait, held against him. 

“Okay, I got her,” Mingi says, and you smile. 

You forgot the way that heat takes over every physical sensation, every little thing heightened until you feel like you’re on a razor’s edge. In a matter of hours you’re going to be a writhing mess, in so much pain you might be delirious - you might ask anything of them, beg for anything.  You have to reconcile with your shame now, and let them help. After weeks of dancing around Yunho, what you really want is to ask him out for coffee, not this. Mingi is no stranger to being flirtatious, those sparks between you already evident, but it always felt like a little inside joke between friends, not a step towards anything more.  

“Alright, just a little further,” Mingi urges you as he slips his arm under yours. 

It takes time to get to the car, but when you get there, Mingi slides into the backseat with you instead of taking the front with Yunho like he normally would. Enclosed in the warmth of the car, you relax into Mingi’s arms and find Yunho’s eyes studying you in the rearview mirror. Their scents settle you a bit, more than any other alpha’s ever has. 

“I’m okay,” You assure them, “it’s coming and going,” 

“We don’t live too far,” Yunho smiles, “so just try to relax and we’ll be inside soon, okay?” 

“Yeah,” 

Mingi eases you against him, feeling your exhaustion, until you’re nestled in his lap with his fingers softly carding through your hair. Yunho’s eyes flick back to you again and again as he drives, but for the first time since the locker room, you’re not in too much pain. 

“Yunho,” Mingi murmurs and his friend hums a noise of acknowledgement, “we need to pick up a few things for her,” 

“What do you mean?” 

“She needs to eat before this really starts,” Mingi says quietly, “I think we have water bottles at home and ice packs?” 

“Yeah we do, I went to the store a couple days ago,” Yunho glances back at you again. 

“Okay,” Mingi’s fingers keep up their soothing brushes on your scalp, “and we need condoms, in case.” 

“Oh,” Yunho blinks and opens his mouth to say something but you get there more quickly. 

“We don’t need them,” You twitch as a cramp ripples through you, “I’m on birth control,” 

“If it would make you feel more comfortable though,” Mingi offers. 

“No,” You groan a little and shift on the uncomfortable back seat, “really, I’m good.” 

The car is quiet for a minute, the reality sinking in that they won’t just be keeping you safe tucked away in a room in their apartment, but they will be helping you. Yunho clears his throat, “Then we’re good, let’s get you home and in bed, and then we can order food? Do we have time?” 

“Mhm,” You assure him, “I’m okay now that i’m with you both,” 

“Exactly,” Mingi soothes you as your fists tighten, eyes closing as you breathe through another small cramp, “your alphas will take good care of you,” 

You release a shuddering breath, the word sinking into your chest and keeping you whole. 

“Almost there,” He murmurs, “just breathe, omega,” 

Getting you upstairs to their apartment proves a little challenging, moving through the lobby of the apartment building and ferrying you into an elevator. They stay close to you, keeping you firmly tucked between them as they walk you in, and you do your very best to seem in control and not draw any unnecessary attention. 

The minute their apartment door closes though, your legs give out and Mingi scoops you up, “You did so well,” he assures you, and it’s evident now that he is the one with the experience here, knowing exactly what the primal part of your brain needs to hear. 

“I’ll order food,” Yunho says, giving you a small smile. 

“Get her some meat,” Mingi directs him, “broth too, and lots of rice,” 

“You are good at this,” You sigh. 

“We got you,” Mingi grins, acting like this is second nature, “now… I can put you to bed, or would you like a cool shower before you lay down? I know that helps,” 

“Mm, yes please,” You nod. 

“Alright,” Mingi nods and looks up, “get the food going, and then meet me in my room with some water and the ice packs.” 

“Right,” Yunho looks at you, “are you okay with just Mingi?” 

“Yeah,” You smile, “I’m feeling okay,” 

“Good,” Yunho smiles back and pulls out his phone to order the food, “then I’ll meet you there.” 

Mingi sets you up in the bathroom with ease, making sure you have towels and everything you need. Your heat is coming, building inside your body with every cramp and rush of warm blush, but their combined scents keep things calm enough for you to take care of yourself a bit. He asks you to keep the door unlocked in case you need help, and leaves you to your moment of peace. You let the cool water settle your body, taking solace in this dip of your pre-heat before things get worse. 

When you’re done, wrapped up in fluffy towels and feeling decidedly less sticky from the combination of sweat and slick, you make your way out into the hall. There are three bedrooms, an empty one you assume is Yunho’s, one that’s been converted into an office, and then one larger room at the end of the hall that you know must be Mingi’s. 

He appears in the doorway before you make it too much further and smiles, “Feeling better?” 

“Yes, thank you so much,” 

“Mhm,” He reaches for you, “come on in, we got everything ready for you,” 

His bedroom smells overwhelmingly like cinnamon when you first cross through the door and you feel a tense flutter in your core. His room is tidy, clean and organized well, which feels surprising for Mingi given how chaotic and busy he can seem at times. The bed is made, but the covers are pulled back for you and you see a folded shirt and thin sleep pants at the edge of the bed. Yunho is sitting in a chair in the corner by the foot of the bed and waiting, the dresser adjacent to his side equipped with almost everything you’ll need. Water bottles, pain killers, and ice packs, an unfilled bowl with a few washcloths stacked inside. 

“How do you know all this?” You catch Mingi’s eye. 

“My girlfriend in college went through terrible heats,” He explains easily, directing you towards the bed, “I remember what used to make her feel a little better,” 

“Ah,” That explains so much of him, and his easy reaction to finding you in the locker room. 

“Do you need help getting dressed at all?” He asks. 

“No, I just really want to lie down,” Your limbs are starting to feel heavy and achy. 

“We’ll leave you be then,” Yunho offers, “and when the food gets here we’ll bring some in,”

“Mhm,” You sigh, sinking down onto the bed, “thank you both again, so much,” 

When you’re finally alone in Mingi’s room, you start to take stock of your body and how it feels, getting a sense of how far you are from the real thick of your heat. Judging by the intensity of your cramps and the fact that you’re starting to produce slick, you know you’re not too far off, maybe a few hours at most. The onset of your heat is normally much slower than this, a long few days of light pre-heat into a couple of days of uncomfortable cramps and extremely high arousal. On suppressants it feels easy, off them everything is unpredictable. 

You pull on the clothes they left you, but they smell like stale lavender, artificial like laundry detergent and it’s not helping. You find the hamper in the corner and toss off the top, digging through Mingi’s clothes until you find a hoodie and you bury your face in it before taking a deep inhale and letting the warm smell of him pass through you. It might be crossing a line, but you don’t really care, you need them.

A pulsing wave passes through you and you collapse back into the bed, tugging on the hoodie and curling yourself up in the covers. The bed smells like him too, and you gather a pillow to your chest and take a deep inhale. Your neediness is starting to build up again with every passing minute, flushing heat through your chest and where you were cold a moment ago you’re suddenly overheated. You kick off the covers, but keep them close, and pile the pillows around you too so you can better inhale his scent. 

Slick rushes forwards again and you bite your inner cheek to stifle a moan and keep things in check. You push off the sleep pants they had given you, and fish through your gym bag until you find a clean pair of underwear and some wipes. You clean yourself up a bit, and change your underwear for the third time today, before deciding that there’s no point in putting the pants back on. Mingi’s hoodie falls low over your shorter frame, dragging along your thighs. 

You bury yourself back in his bed, and do your best to get a little rest before what’s to come. 

When you wake, it’s to Mingi pushing back his hoodie so he can see your face a little better, “Hey,” he murmurs, “how are you feeling?” 

“Tired,” You sigh, “and sore,” 

“Okay,” He smiles and tugs lightly on the strings of his hoodie, “is this helping?” 

“Mm,” You nod into his palm, but nervous knots start to curl up in your belly, “where’s Yunho?” 

“I’m here,” Yunho’s voice comes from the opposite side of the bed, and you twist in the sheets to find him, a cramp pulsing through you as you do and you groan, gripping onto the bed sheets beneath you. 

“Easy,” Mingi scolds you softly, “you need all the rest you can get,” 

Yunho finds your eyes and smiles, “What’s wrong?” He asks gently, noticing your nervous fidgeting. 

“I don’t know, I thought you left,” You manage. 

“I’m an idiot,” Mingi sighs behind you and his hand that rests on your hip shifts away, “stay with her a second,” 

“Mhm,” Yunho’s eyes don’t leave you, and he reaches out to rest his hand on yours, “we’ve got dinner, and then once you eat you can rest, we won’t go anywhere.” 

You watch his face as he studies your features, his breathing slow and steady, when you hear Mingi come back into the room behind you. “Here we go,” He says, and you feel a large, soft blanket draping over you. The smell of wet earth and rain in the air fills your senses again and you drag the blanket up and around you with a sigh. 

“You’re nesting,” Yunho observes, his mouth dropping open, “of course,” 

“She couldn’t smell you in here,” Mingi explains with ease, “she needs you to relax,” 

You nod, your cheek pressed against the blanket, “You smell like a thunderstorm,” 

Yunho sits slowly on the bed by your side, brushing your hair back behind your ear and smoothing his thumb along your cheekbone, “Is that right?” he smiles. 

“I love thunderstorms,” Your eyes drift closed. 

Mingi chuckles, “I think she’s found herself a heat partner,” 

“Only if she wants one,” Yunho presses, “and only after she eats,” 

Your eyes reopen, and you push yourself up to your knees, dropping the hood of Mingi’s sweatshirt and running your hands over your warm cheeks. “We need to talk now,” You blink hard and take a deep breath, “before I get too far into this,” 

“Let’s eat then,” Mingi gestures for you to sit back more comfortably and you watch as he and Yunho both produce boxes of take out from bags on the dresser, “what are you thinking?” 

“Well,” You shift up the bed to lean against the headboard, dragging Yunho’s blanket with you, “I haven’t gone through this in a while. I’m not sure how it’s going to be, but you said you wanted to help. What did you mean by it?” 

Yunho looks like he’s not sure exactly what to say or where to start and Mingi cuts in smoothly, “I’m willing to help with all of it. If you want me gone, I’m gone. If you want help to come to take the edge off, I can do that, and if you want me to actually knot you,” he gestures for you to fill in the blanks. 

“Right,” 

“But,” Mingi cuts in and your eyes shift back to him, “You seem to want Yunho,” 

His eyes flick down to the way you’re rubbing his blanket between your thumb and forefinger and you drop it instantly, not even realizing what you were doing. Mingi smiles softly and adds, “I think you prefer his scent,” 

“No!” You exclaim, wincing at the way your body tenses up, “No, it’s not that, at all.” 

“Earlier,” Mingi takes a seat on the edge of the bed, “you said my scent was making it harder, that’s not what I want to do for you.” 

“Mingi,” You shake your head, “I meant because it’s good, both of you. So, no I don’t have a preference.” 

“Oh,” Mingi smiles, and then turns to Yunho, “how are you feeling?” 

He clears his throat softly and nods, “The same as you, I’m all in.” 

“Okay,” You exhale slowly, “then so am I,” 

Mingi passes you a take out container and a pair of chopsticks, “Eat this, okay?” 

“Mhm,” You’re caught between exhaustion and adrenaline, but you stay focused on the task at hand. You all eat quietly, the atmosphere a little awkward now that you’ve all agreed. 

As you finish the container of food, Yunho smoothly passes you another and he says, “So, you feel comfortable with us?” 

“I do,” You nod, shifting a little at a slight pain in your back, “I like you both, and if I can trust you in the studio, I can trust you with this.” 

“And if you ask us to knot you?” Mingi prompts. 

“Right,” You swallow, resting the container of food on your lap, “I guess there are some things we should say now,” 

They look at you, waiting expectantly. 

“People say things during heat,” You start, imagining all the things you might beg them for for the next few days to come. “It’s not like I’ll be out of my mind or anything, you know that,” You nod to Mingi. 

“Mhm,” 

“But it’s still hard to control,” You explain, and Yunho listens intently, “I don’t know what it’ll be like for me. It’s been a long time, but you have my permission to do whatever we need to. If I ask you to knot me, knot me.” 

“Okay,” Mingi nods, “it’s good that we’re clear.” 

You feel another flush up your chest and you breathe slowly, “But no matter what,” you hold their gazes, “if I ask you to claim me, don’t. Don’t do it, even if I tell you I’m sure.” 

“Absolutely not,” Mingi’s brow furrows, and he looks shocked that you’d even have to say it, “there’s no way.” 

“I know you know,” You swallow and reach for a water bottle on the nightstand, “but Yunho, you’ve never done this before.” 

“That might be true,” He shakes his head, “but I know you wouldn’t mean that, it would just be the heat talking,” 

“Exactly,” You nod, “I might sound like I want that or like I need that, but I don’t.” 

“Understood,” Yunho nods, “I wouldn’t, I swear,” 

You sink back into your pillows and tuck back into your box of food, “I just want you to be prepared,” you explain, “and before I start crying and begging you to give me a pup, I wanted to say it,” 

Mingi laughs into his food, choking a little, “Sorry, no, not funny,” 

You smile, the mood a little lighter now, “It’s kind of funny.” 

Yunho smiles, shifting further onto the bed as he all but inhales his noodles, “You seem a better, I thought it was going to just get worse,” 

“Oh, it will,” You shrug, “but the food is nice, and you’re both here with me. When Mingi found me I was scared and alone, which always makes it worse,” 

Mingi’s hand rubs a comforting line up your shin, “You’re very safe now,” 

“I know,” You nod. 

“Eat some more,” Yunho notices that you’ve taken too long of a pause, and he gestures for you to keep going, “and then what would be nice? Some sleep?” 

“Maybe,” You dip back into your rice, “would you stay?” 

“I’ll stay,” Yunho murmurs. 

“Me too,” Mingi adds. 

They keep on you to eat, making sure you’ve had your fill. Afterwards, you rest between them watching some television, keeping your mind off things as best you can while you’re still feeling somewhat okay. They’re careful of you though, every shift of your body and soft hiss through your teeth drawing their attention. Mingi is still cool and evenly calm, but surprisingly Yunho is too, and you wonder what they talked about while you were in the shower. Did they discuss what to do at all? What the night and the next few days would be like? 

You’re so exhausted, slipping further down into the bed, nestled in pillows and wrapped in Yunho’s blanket. They naturally gravitate closer, their hands finding their way to your skin, and you’re not sure if it’s just their alpha nature or if it’s them, but you’ve never been more grateful for it. 

The cramps start to become unbearable again soon after they start to hold you. You’re not sure if their presence is making things move more quickly, let alone being with two alphas, but within the hour the pain sets in. 

You curl into Mingi’s chest as tight pain cuts through you, “Fuck,” you pant against him, “it hurts,” 

“I know,” Mingi soothes you, scooting down the bed until he’s eye to eye with you, “but you’re not alone,” 

A sharper, biting pain rips through you and a flood of heat washes over you. You grip down hard on Yunho’s hand, curling into yourself with a taut moan, “It… it hurts,” 

“Shh,” Yunho kisses your hair, running his hand up and down the expanse of your abdomen, “I know it hurts, jagiya,” 

You whine at the name, desperate to hear him call you anything and everything. Your omega thrums inside you - every touch telling you just how much closer your heat is than you realize. “Please,” You plead, but you don’t know exactly what you’re pleading for, “I can’t breathe,” 

“Yes, you can,” Mingi tries to sooth you, his hand on your cheek, “look at me, y/n, come on omega,” 

Tears well in your eyes, heat flooding through your veins and a pulsating need fluttering through you. If they don’t touch you, you might wither into nothing. Your hips tuck back into Yunho’s and you groan, “I can’t,” 

“She’s burning up,” Yunho murmurs from your side. 

“Let’s take this off then,” Mingi tugs on the sleeves of his hoodie slowly, coaxing your arm through. He can see your rising panic at the idea you won't be wrapped in their scents, but he shakes his head slowly, “easy, love, let your alphas help,” 

As the heavy sweatshirt is pulled away, you drop back on the bedding between them. The thin t-shirt they gave you is all but soaked through with sweat, sticking to your curves. Your head is aching, waves of feverish heat washing over you again and again, and you whimper, your legs twitching as you try to find a somewhat comfortable position. 

“Hey, hey,” Yunho’s thumb settles over the swollen gland in your neck, and he strokes it soft and slow, “just breathe,” 

It settles you, just a bit, and you let your eyes drift shut. With a sigh you reach for Mingi just to feel a bit of his skin on yours, “I’m not even properly in heat yet and I feel like I could crawl out of my skin,” 

“Hot?” Mingi brushes the damp hair back from your forehead. 

“It’s like my skin is tingling,” You murmur, “like a nerve,”

“Okay,” He nods. He shifts off the bed and your eyes flutter open. Mingi soothes you with a gentle hand, before moving towards the dresser, “Yunho, get those clothes off her,” 

Yunho’s eyes lock on yours, “Can I?” 

You nod, your head feeling full and pained. 

Yunho’s hand slips under the edge of your damp shirt, coasting up your stomach as he pushes the fabric up and the drag of his hot hand sends a pulse through your body. You moan, head dropping back into the bedding, and you feel another gush of slick. 

“It’s okay,” Yunho soothes as you he drops your shirt to the side of the bed, “there’s nothing to be embarrassed about,” 

You huff, a light laugh as you shake your head, “Easy for you to say, you’re not falling apart whenever I touch you,” 

“Yet,” He smiles. 

“Who are you kidding?” Mingi returns to your bedside with a bowl of cool ice water and a damp washcloth. He throws a smile at his friend before ringing out the washcloth over the bowl, “The minute you saw us in the hall you were all alpha protection mode, scenting her and everything,” 

“Shut up,” 

You grin, but Mingi sweeps a cold line up your body with the cloth and you shudder, “Fuck, that’s nice,” 

“Good,” Mingi murmurs, passing another wet washcloth to Yunho. When Mingi presses a firm line up your chest, and sweeping a little too close to your neck your body arches and your nipples harden into painful peaks. 

You blush hard and drop a hand over your face, “I can’t believe we’re doing this,” 

“Why?” Yunho asks gently, wiping your brow with the cool cloth. 

“We work together,” You sigh, “closely together… I probably should have made you take me home or something but,”

“Do knotting dildos even really help?” Mingi asks bluntly. 

“I mean,” You shrug, “they get the job done,”  

“Hmm,” Mingi shakes his head, “not with a heat like this,” 

“Maybe,” You sigh. 

“y/n,” Yunho asks, “have you had a heat partner before? Have you been knotted?” 

“A long time ago,” You nod, “it wasn’t a great experience, but you know, it is what it is.” 

Yunho passes the cloth down your chest and you shudder, but he keeps the conversation going, “Why in the world are you off your suppressants then?” 

Your eyes flick down, and you swallow hard, “I can’t afford them right now,” 

“Wait,” Mingi shakes his head, “what?” 

“The brand I’m on is the only one that works for me,” You explain, “they’re not priced like the generics, and I don’t have coverage yet. I’ve been rationing them out, but,” 

“You should have talked to me about it,” Yunho shakes his head, brows knit together in concern, “we could have done something for you,” 

“Yunho,” You meet his eyes, “I appreciate that, but I’m still kind of new here. I’m just trying to prove I belong here, and I didn’t want a reason to need a special exception.”

He looks like he wants to say something, but settles on nodding, “I can understand that.” 

“I’m,” You tense up as your cramps intensify, “I’m glad to know I can talk to you, I’ll do it in the future, I just couldn’t come to you about this.” 

“Alright,” He nods, his voice shifting to soothe again as your eyes clamp tightly shut. 

“Are they worse?” Mingi asks. 

You can’t answer, not yet, your muscles are locked up in crippling pain and you feel like you’re drowning in a sudden wave of hot air. You gasp as you feel your body produce more slick, your thighs surely sticky now, and you’re suddenly hyper aware of their hands and where they rest on your body. 

“I think,” Your hips jerk as Mingi slides the washcloth just an inch up your side, “oh God, I think,” 

“Okay,” Yunho pets your hair gently, “okay, just breathe,” 

Your fingers tighten in the sheets beneath you and an overwhelming ache between your thighs reminds you just how empty your body is. You press your thighs together, feeling a throb in your core, and you can’t stop the whimper that bubbles from your lips. 

“Let’s get these off too,” Mingi murmurs, his hands settling on your hip and tugging at your underwear to slowly peel them off.  

Things are spinning around you, tense and painful suddenly and no amount of cool washcloths or gentle touches are going to help you now. Your vision feels blurry, and you curl into yourself, tucking your body into Yunho’s chest with a pained hiss. 

“Oh, come here,” Yunho tucks you close, “I’ve got you,”

“Alpha,” You feel like crying suddenly, your stomach tense, “alpha, please,” 

“What, jagiya?” Yunho murmurs against your hair. 

You can’t explain what you need, all you know is that you can’t feel him close enough and you push the edges of his shirt up to try and find more of him, “Please,” you whine as you try to feel more of his skin on yours. 

“Whoa, whoa,” He tries to catch your hands but it just makes you more tense. 

“K-knot me,” Your stomach cramps, your cunt feeling swollen and sensitive, “please,” 

“y/n,” Yunho tries again to pull your hands away but you drive forwards, pressing your cheek against his bare chest where his shirt is ridden all the way up and you sigh into his skin, pressing frantic kisses along his body. 

“Please,” You beg again, “I’ll be so good for you, so good,” 

“I know you will,” He manages, but he can’t deter you, and you feel the moment his body responds to yours. His hands tighten pleasantly on your hips, and you hear the change in his breath. He releases your hands and swallows hard, “Alright, alright,” 

“No,” Mingi interrupts, “not yet,” 

“Why?” You sob. 

“You’re not ready yet,” He soothes, shifting closer behind you and placing a warm kiss on your bare back, “and Yunho and I are not going to hurt you tonight,” 

“I don’t care,” Your hands slide down Yunho’s chest, searching for his waistband. 

“Mingi’s right,” Yunho groans, attempting to disconnect your hands from him. 

“Omega,” Mingi’s voice is firm, and your hands fall away, “be still.” You’re sure you’re shaking like a leaf, and he sighs, “You need a little sleep,” 

“I can’t sleep like this,” You shake your head, “everything hurts so much,” 

“We’ll help with that,” Mingi pulls you away from Yunho’s chest, ignoring your tense whine at being pulled away from him, and slides a hand down your thigh to press your legs open, “we’ll help you sleep,” 

Yunho rests his hand on your inner thigh, bending your knee to open you up for Mingi’s hand, “Let your alphas make you feel good,” 

You’re shaking in their grip, Yunho’s hand feeling like a lead weight, and Mingi settles down low by your side so that you’re almost nose to nose, holding your gaze as his fingers gently sink into your wet folds. 

“P-please,” The sound in your throat is tight, “I need you to fuck me,” 

“Mhm,” Mingi nods, unfazed by your sudden shift in demeanor as your heat finally starts to build, “we will, but not yet,” 

You stifle a groan and turn your head away from him, tears gathering in your eyes as Mingi’s middle finger flattens out over your clit and starts to rock. All it does is stoke heat inside you and your vision blurs, the empty pocket inside you aching like never before. “Alpha,” You sob, “it’s not enough,” 

You expect Mingi to respond, but instead it’s Yunho, cupping your cheek and drawing your face towards his, “Shh,” he shakes his head, a gentle expression on his face, “we have you, sweetheart,” 

Something in his face calms you for a moment, the feeling of his warm gaze filling you and you want nothing more than to know he likes you. Approves of you. Your breath is slight, just a whisper in your throat. 

Seeing your response he slides forwards, pressing his mouth to yours in a warm, tender kiss. His hand slips down and he brushes over your gland again to keep you at ease, “Be patient for us,” he kisses you again, “and you know we’ll knot you nice and full,” 

With a desperate pant you catch his mouth again, moaning against his mouth when Mingi finally, finally sinks a finger deep inside your aching core. 

“You’re still so tight, omega,” Mingi murmurs. He pushes a second finger inside and starts to pump them in and out, and it’s not enough, nowhere near enough, but little blooms of pleasure spark up your spine and you fall back from Yunho into the bedding once more. 

“More,” You widen your legs and cant your hips, “please, Mingi, please,” 

He presses his lips to your forehead, nuzzling you softly until his mouth is close to your ear, “You’re so beautiful, omega. Did you know that?” 

A wash of pleasure crashes through you and his fingers speed up, pushing into you more firmly, his thumb catching against your clit to heighten every thrust. You moan against him, gripping hard on his shirt and jutting your hips into his hand. 

“And so good for us,” Yunho kisses your shoulder, traveling down until lips close around one of your stiff nipples. 

“Ah,” You arch into his mouth, “ah, god,” 

“Close already, omega?” Mingi teases, shaking his head despite the smile across his lips, “Are you that sensitive?” 

“D-don’t tease me,” Hot pleasure sparks up your body and your head twists back, your body tight and stiff. 

“Then come,” Mingi bites down on your earlobe gently and you whine. 

“Do as your told,” Yunho urges you, sucking hard on your nipple and pressing your leg open wider, “our sweet little omega,” 

You come so hard your brain whites out, your ears ringing and your body trembling. After an entire week of build up to your heat, and hours of feeling like your body was being stretched out long like a rubber band, snapping apart in their hands hits you so much harder than you ever could have imagined. 

Your brain reconnects when you feel Yunho’s soft blanket tucked around your naked body, and you’re too exhausted to open your eyes, but you feel them cuddle close before you drop off into sleep drowning in cedar and cinnamon. 

You have no idea what time it is when you wake again, your brain is too foggy and pained to even check the time. All you know is desperate need, all consuming emptiness and aching. When you reach out in front of you, the bed is empty and you stifle a sob. You’re alone, they’ve left you alone. You’re alone and you’re in heat, and you thought they wanted you, but all you can feel is shame. The primal part of your brain tells you that you’re not good enough, that if you had been a better omega for them they would have stayed. You’d be good and knotted by now. 

Curling into the sheets you try to push yourself up, but find the effort even harder than before. You’re soaked in sweat, trembling uncontrollably, and the throbbing pulse of your cunt is so heady that you find yourself seeking any friction at all, squeezing your thighs tight and grinding against the balled up comforter. 

You feel a body roll behind you, shifting closer, and when you hear his groggy, sleepy groan, you almost cry in relief. “A-alpha?” You can’t move too much, too it’s too painful, but you reach back for him. 

“Hey,” Yunho’s voice is a little hoarse, and it takes him a minute to realize what’s going on, but in the early morning faded light he watches the way you’re struggling. “Oh,” he breathes, “it’s really started,” 

You nod desperately, “I need help, alpha, please,” 

“Okay,” His voice drops, and he slides across the bed to slot himself perfectly behind you, “I’m going to take care of you now,” 

“Y-Yunho,” You squeeze yourself further back into him, “I’m so empty,” 

His face is above yours now, studying your expression to try and determine if this is really it, and you don’t know where Mingi is to guide the situation but at the feeling of Yunho’s body behind yours, your will to care is fading away into nothing. He’s not touching you fast enough, and with a whimper, you twist your head in the sheets, bearing your neck and submitting. 

“Oh,” Yunho’s hands tighten on you, “oh,” 

“Please,” You press again, “it hurts, alpha,” 

His cock stiffens behind you, and you almost cry in relief, rolling your hips back against him. “Fuck,” His face drops against your hair, “oh my god,” 

“Inside me,” You beg, reaching back and tugging at his shirt, “now, please,” 

He moves so much more quickly this time, pushing down his sweats and reaching between your thighs to check you, finding you soaked with slick and aching for him. You moan when you feel the press of his cockhead against your entrance, and in one fluid motion he slides home, fully seating himself inside you. 

You’re shaking in his arms, the feeling of being this full making you almost delirious with joy. Yunho doesn’t move though. He has you pulled as close as possible so that your back is flush with his chest, arms wrapped around you and keeping you perfectly still. His forehead rests against the top of your head and you can hear his shaky breath. You need him to move, to fuck you, to fill you with pups and never leave you, but he doesn’t. 

Slowly, his hips draw back just a little before sinking forward again, thrusting inside your tight channel experimentally like he’s trying to get a feel for you. Despite how your body prepared you for this, making you wet and relaxed to be able to accommodate an alpha’s knot, the feeling of his cock stretching you open is almost enough to make you come right then and there. 

He thrusts again, slowly, and you whimper against him. You need more, and fast.

Yunho groans as he holds himself deeply inside you again, caressing your body with his free hand, “You are the best thing I’ve felt in my entire life,” 

Your brain spins, pleasure flooding you and distantly you can hear yourself asking him to knot you. You’re not prepared for what he’ll feel like fucking you in earnest. 

“Is that what my girl needs?” Yunho pants, and hand locking down over your hip to help pull your body back against his hard thrusts. 

“God, please!” Your eyes close, falling apart into the sensations of him inside you. 

He groans against you, “Tell me what you need, omega,” 

The low tenor of his voice is nothing but alpha now, his instincts guiding him just as much as yours. You’re never going to last, not if he’s going to talk to you like this. With a taut moan you beg him, “Fill me up, alpha please, knot me please,” 

His hand slides up your chest, up your neck until you’re shaking with need, and closes his fingers on your jaw until he draws your face up so he can watch your eyes. His hips shift their pace, no longer driving into you with frantic need but instead firm, deep thrusts of his cock. His eyes are blown wide with desire, his mouth falling open as he watches you falling apart on his cock, “You’re all fucking mine,” 

You nod, hot tears gathering in your eyes from the overwhelming sensation and you cry out desperately for more. 

“All mine,” He repeats and surges forwards to lock his lips on yours, “you belong to me,”

“Yes!” You choke, “I’m yours, only yours,” 

“Good girl,” He angles his hips, and on the next thrust you’re spinning fast into the crest of your orgasm. With his face pressed against you, his lips at your ear, his next words snap you open. “I’ll give you perfect pups,” He pants, his knot swelling, “I’ll breed you so full,” 

There’s nothing now but the feeling of him, all encompassing as your orgasm crashes down over you, muscles spasming around his hard length. You’re a babbling mess, but so is he, so close to coming that the first sensation as your eyes reopen is his knot pressing hard at your opening. 

He’s so large already, larger than any partner or knotting dildo you’ve ever used, and you scramble a little in his hold, “Y-Yunho, I can’t,” 

“Shh,” He holds you against him, “you can, I know you can,” 

Pushing your hips down with his broad hands, he angles himself upwards until you feel the pressure of his knot pushing past your entrance and finally slipping inside you fully. It burns, your body aching to accommodate him, but with the way he’s holding you and the throb of his cock inside you, none of that matters. 

He grinds his hips desperately into you, his knot swelling further inside you, and when he comes, releasing hot with a shuddering groan, you finally feel sated. Your body melts into him, pleasantly foggy and at ease, his knot no longer uncomfortable but essential. 

You’re finally, finally full. 

It takes time for Yunho to come back to his senses, his hands still locked on your skin and breathing shaky as he tries to regulate it. You realize now that you have a little clarity that it was his first time. Deep, instinctual need had guided him, but the longer he stays quiet, the longer you wonder if you did well for him. 

After another minute or two you find his hand and lace your fingers together, “Yunho?” 

“Yes?” He murmurs from behind you, his forehead still against your hair. 

“Can you hold me please?” You murmur, squeezing his hand. 

“Come here,” He sighs, shifting slightly to spoon you properly. As he does, the knot locked inside you shifts and you make a startled hum at the sensation. He smooths your hair back and tries to get a good look at you, “Does that hurt?” 

“No,” You shake your head, adjusting so that you’re resting on his bicep, “I just feel full,” 

“Mm,” He kisses your temple, nuzzling your skin with his nose as he breathes in your scent, “you’re perfect,” 

Warmth blooms in your chest, “So are you,” 

“I want you like that again and again,” His hand slips out of yours so that he can coast it over your body, feeling your warm skin under his hands. 

“You can have me like that again and again,” You smile, “I’ll be in heat for days.” 

“Days of this,” He sighs, his hand dipping down over your hip and settling over your stomach. He inches his fingers down, passing over your sensitive nub and feeling the place where your bodies connect, locked together. 

“Does it feel good for you too?” You murmur, a little breathy as his hand slips back over your clit. 

“I’ve never felt anything like this,” He presses closer to you, “it’s incredible,” 

You chuckle, kissing his arm and relaxing further into his touch. You’re about to agree, to say more, to confess that in truth it’s your only experience in heat that so far hasn’t been terrible, but the door to the bedroom opens and Yunho tenses. 

Mingi opens the door slowly, and Yunho pulls you close, his hand closing over your stomach and his other arm wrapping around your shoulders. It’s just Mingi, but Yunho’s brain must still be fogged with the intrinsic need to protect you and in the presence of another alpha, he can’t see that it’s just his friend. 

“Mingi,” You shake your head, feeling how tense Yunho is behind you, “give him a minute,” 

“You’re okay?” He checks, staying rooted to the spot at the door, knowing that Yunho could hurt you if he stops thinking straight and tries to defend you against the imagined threat of another alpha. 

“I’m perfect,” You assure him, “I promise,” 

“Is he?” Mingi looks anxious. 

“He’s fine,” You nod, smoothing your hand across his arm to try and relieve some of his tension, “but we need some more time.” 

Mingi nods, “Come find me when you’re done,”

“We will,” 

Mingi’s eyes flick to Yunho, “Be careful with her,” 

“I got it,” Yunho’s voice sounds strained. 

Mingi nods once, and then disappears, leaving the door open, and you suspect it's so he can hear things a little better should you need him. Yunho’s muscles unlock slowly, his thumb unconsciously rubbing a steady line over your abdomen, and he exhales heavily into your hair.   

After a while, you expect his knot to have gone down, but he’s just as locked inside you as ever. The overwhelming alpha quality though has started to fade, and you rest lazily in his arms as he plays with your fingers and waits it out. 

“Does it normally take this long?” He asks finally. 

“Not usually,” You shake your head, “but it’s your first time knotting someone properly, so it might just take a little bit.” 

“I’m sorry,” He murmurs. 

“Why?” You tug him a little closer to your back, “This is exactly what I need,” 

“Everything felt right?” He pushes himself up onto one elbow so that he can look down at you a little better, propping his head in his hand. 

“Mhm,” You assure him, “Better than right,” 

He smiles, his eyes flicking over you appreciatively. 

“What about for you?” You bring him back to center, rubbing a circle into his palm with the pad of your thumb. 

“It wasn’t what I expected,” He says honestly, and your mouth drops open. “No, no,” He cups your cheek, “I meant that it was just… much more intense than I expected. I said a lot of things to you, and I don’t know, I guess I thought that type of thing was just played up in porn,” 

“Oh,” You grin, delighted a little by the way his ears run red. 

“Yeah,” He smiles, blush creeping into his cheeks now, “I just couldn’t stop myself,” 

“Mm,” You nod, “I get it, completely. This is why I wanted to talk before I was in heat,” 

“Was it too much?” He checks in. 

“No,” You assure him, “It was just what I needed to hear, and it doesn’t mean anything outside of my heat, it’s just instinct.” 

He nods and sighs, dropping back to the bed and cuddling you close again, “Good,” he murmurs, “then don’t worry about how clingy I’m about to get,” 

“You? Clingy?” You giggle against his chest, “I don’t believe it,” 

“I’m a softie,” He shrugs, “I don’t know what to tell you,” 

“But you always seem so serious at the studio,” You murmur, “and I’ve seen you go out with a lot of women,” 

“Ah,” He laughs, “well the studio is work, and I’m responsible for a lot there. And as far as the dates,” he corrects, “I am trying to appease my mother because she desperately wants me to find a wife, which I’m not really focused on right now, but she’s pretty obstinate.” 

“Such a mystery, Jeong Yunho,” You prod him lightly. 

“Not really,” He kisses your hair, sighing into you, “I’m just a guy,” 

You hum and let your eyes drift closed as he holds you. 

He yawns and sighs again, “So, forgive me if I cuddle you to death while you’re here, like I said, softie,” 

“I’m not complaining,” You sink into his touch. 

He groans a little, his knot finally softening but he stops you when you shift your hips, “Go slow, I don’t want to hurt you,” 

“It’s okay,” You assure him, feeling the way his knot fades down into being barely there. His cock starts to soften, and you slowly ease your way forwards while he shifts his hips back, disconnecting you both with a soft wet sound. 

His release floods out of you, leaving you messy and sticky, but Yunho kisses your shoulder and shifts away, “Hold tight, I’ll get a towel,” 

He seems incredibly unembarrassed about the messy state of heat sex, which you’re eternally grateful for, and within a few minutes you’re cleaned up and dressed again in yet another pair of clean underwear and one of the largest shirts of Mingi’s that you’ve ever seen. 

“How are you feeling?” Yunho asks as you finish cleaning your face up in the mirror of Mingi’s bathroom.

“A little sore,” You tell him honestly, “and cramping a little again, but it’s not too bad yet.” 

“You want to come see Mingi then? Get out of this room for a minute?” He brushes his fingers down your back as he watches you in the mirror. 

“Perfect,” 

In the living room, Mingi is waiting. He’s pouring over with nervous energy, his leg bouncing and his fingers fidgeting with his phone, refreshing his social media feed over and over again. The television is on, but he’s clearly not watching, and instead you see him perk up at the first sounds of you emerging from the bedroom. 

“Hey,” He twists around on the couch, looking a little relieved when he sees you completely fine and cleaned up wearing one of his t-shirts. 

“Hey,” You smile, moving towards the couch, “can I sit?” 

“Of course,” He gestures towards the couch, but that’s not exactly what you meant. The sight of him waiting for you, and the palpable taste of his anxiety in the air makes you feel needed, and you push his arms open to settle in his lap. 

“Oh,” He adjusts his legs to give you a better seat and winds his arm around your back, “is everything okay?” 

“Mhm,” You take his hand, rubbing your thumb gently over the gland in his wrist to soothe him, “you can relax, I’m perfectly fine,” 

Yunho takes a seat on the opposite end of the couch, chewing the inside of his cheek as he watches you and Mingi together. With a nudge to his friend’s thigh he gets Mingi’s attention and shakes his head, “I’m sorry I snapped at you,” 

“It’s cool,” Mingi shrugs, “I know the feeling.” 

“Where did you go, anyways?” You ask, leaning into his chest. The familiarity between the three of you should feel strange, before last night you really were only coworkers to each other. You might have even become friends, but now you’ve pushed so far past that you don’t know what you are except to accept that their hands on your skin feels right. 

“I shouldn’t have left, I could feel you were getting restless,” he explains, “I went to make you some broth and get cold water, just putting a few things together, but by the time I got back you were both in it,” 

“Ah,” You blush looking down at your hands, “sorry,” 

“Don’t be sorry,” Mingi’s broad, warm hand rests on your bare thigh and gives you a subtle squeeze, “I’m glad Yunho could help. I just didn’t think it would be smart to interrupt you,” 

“Good thinking,” Yunho adds, running a hand over his face and sighing, “you were right,” 

“I told you,” Mingi nods, “it can be intense,” 

Yunho passes a hand over your shin before pushing himself back up to stand and he stretches long and tall before groaning, “Alright, I’m starving.” 

You clap a hand over your mouth, chuckling into your palm, “Classic,” 

“Can I make you something?” He asks, “Either of you?” 

Mingi shakes his head, “I’m good,” 

“Me too,” You agree, “I should be hungry, but I’m really not,” 

Mingi’s nose crinkles, “You should still eat,” 

“Maybe in a bit,” You try to appease him. 

“In a bit you’ll be jumping our bones again,” Mingi counters. 

“I know,” You sigh, “but really, I’m okay. I feel pretty good,” 

“This is really just because it’s day one right?” Yunho asks, a little less joking than before. 

“Yeah,” You nod, “day one and two are never as bad, and you definitely have more lucidity as long as you’re managing the spikes well. Day three, four, and sometimes five if it lasts that long, are usually a lot harder.” 

“How much is a lot?” Yunho asks, stepping close and running his hand over your hair, “You were already in a lot of pain,” 

“I’ll be less coherent, and the fever can be worse. I probably won’t have down time like this,” You explain, “the pain isn’t necessarily worse, it’s just more consistent,” 

He frowns, “Then you’re eating now,” 

You sigh heavily and shake your head, “Honestly, you don’t need to, I can make myself something in a bit or,” 

Mingi cuts you off and makes a dismissive noise with his tongue against his teeth, “y/n, relax. This is what we meant when we said we’d help you through your heat. It’s more than just orgasms and knots,” 

You swallow back your words, holding his gaze. 

“Alphas are meant to provide,” He reminds you, “so let us,” 

A flutter of warmth bubbles through you, and you can only nod, no use arguing now when your mind is spinning and telling you to accept. Yunho drops a quick kiss on the top of your head, before disappearing into the kitchen. You’ve never had an alpha provide, never once. In your limited experience before going on suppressants, you were used to being knotted incredibly quickly and then left alone, or having a partner that never really knew how to fully satisfy, leaving you to feverishly deal with your needs while they slept. You’ve never experienced a heat where you felt wanted before. 

Yes. Today is your anniversary with your long-time boyfriend, Jin. You've been dating since freshman year in college. Jin is the man of your dreams, the love of your life. It's a little disappointing that you're not married to him at this point in your relationship.

He was promoted recently to a regional manager position at his company, and he's gotten busier since then that it's so hard to spend time with him. There had been months when you never saw him in person, and you were limited to only video calls and texts because he went on too many business trips.

When you got a call from him yesterday morning and he invited you to go out to dinner with him tonight, you were elated. It's been so long since the last time you went on a date. You can't help but smile at the thought that despite his busy schedule, he remembered your anniversary.

The possibility of Jin proposing tonight entered your mind, but you quickly pushed it aside. You didn't want to get ahead of yourself.

But what if he does?

“I'm thankful for all the years that we were together,” You recall him saying earlier tonight.

After a nice dinner at your favorite fine-dining restaurant, he offered to drive you home. You were sitting in his car in your driveway. Jin was looking everywhere except at you as if he was searching for the right words to say next. “... but I think it's better for the both of us to grow separately from here.”

You felt a knot form from within your stomach. You’re tempted to ask a question you’ve been meaning to ask all this time but can’t bring yourself to.

But if you don’t ask now, you might never get another chance.

“Was it your assistant?” Jin didn’t reply. And you knew that was his answer.

Yunho caught your wrist and took the bottle of wine from your hand. “That’s enough. You’ve had way too much to drink.” He was sitting right next to you on his couch, but he got up to take the alcohol as far away from you as he can.

You whine as you hug your knees to your chest and bury your face on them. As soon as Jin left after he dumped you, you whipped your phone out and dialed Yunho’s number in a hurry. The last thing you wanted was to be alone tonight so when he answered after the second ring, you immediately asked him where he was and if you could go over to his apartment, cry your heart out as you drown your pain away with alcohol.

“I’m outside but I can meet you at my apartment in 20.” You heard Yunho say amidst the noise from the bar you assumed he was hanging out at. It’s Friday night. Of course, your hot best friend would be out in a bar. He was probably flirting with a cute girl when you called. You felt bad at the thought. You didn’t want to spoil anybody else’s night just because yours was terrible.

“Are you sure? I don’t want to ruin your Friday night,” You were fighting back tears and trying so hard not to sniff on the phone and give away the fact that you’ve been crying. But Yunho noticed. He always noticed.

“Everything okay?” Yunho asked. And right there, you let it out. “No.”

You feel a spot on the couch next to you dip as Yunho comes back to join you. His presence always has a calming effect on you. Aside from the fact that you didn’t want to be alone tonight all heartbroken, you needed emotional support. Being your best friend for as long as you have been with Jin, Yunho is the only person in this entire universe who can give you that comfort right now. With gentleness, Yunho places one large hand on your back and starts to soothe you.

“Am I ugly?” you slur at your words. It’s not a real question. Yunho’s right. You had way too much to drink and now it’s catching up to you.

“Are you what?” he sounds surprised. There’s a hint of humor in his tone.

“I don’t think I’m ugly?” you can feel your world spiraling. You place both hands on Yunho’s shoulders hoping that it will help steady you. “I mean—I’m not the prettiest girl in the world, hell, not even in this room and there’s only you and me here. But I think I’m decent?”

“No! Hell no!” he exclaims, shifting in his seat to get comfortable in front of you. “Of course, you’re pretty.” His other hand moving towards your face to tuck a stray hair behind your ear. “Not as pretty as me but so is everyone else.”

You chuckle and hit him on one shoulder. He’s not wrong. He’s absolutely beautiful. His kind eyes, round and dark brown in color—no one will ever guess that he sleeps around. He’s tall and even though he doesn’t have an overly muscular body, he looks strong. He towers over most of his guy friends. He’s an attractive man. You always found him attractive. You would’ve dated him if he wasn’t such a player.

Yes. Yunho is a player—a pleasure-seeker—as he likes to put it.

Aside from the fact that he’s hot—yes, as much as you hate to admit it—Yunho has his way with words. You’ve seen him talk to other girls before on multiple occasions and there’s no way anyone could resist his charms. It’s so easy for him to get a girl anywhere he goes.

In all the years you’ve known him, he’s never been in a steady relationship. The longest relationship he’s had—if you can consider it one—that you can recall was probably a week. When you asked him once before why you’ve never seen him with a girl longer than a week, he just shrugged and said, “I refuse to waste my youth in a monogamous relationship and vow to use this precious time to explore and have fun.”

You respect his choice, but you couldn’t be more opposite. You’d rather be in a steady relationship with someone you can completely trust and give your whole heart to than waste your time sleeping around. It’s important for you to belong to someone who makes you feel secure… like Jin. Well, not anymore. He fell for his assistant and although he claims nothing has happened between them, he still broke up with you so something can actually happen between them, and the thought is making your blood boil again.

“I hate him! I even put my pretty underwear tonight because I thought after 5 months, I’ll finally get laid!” you pull your shirt up to prove it, revealing a black lace lingerie underneath. “The panties match too,” you say as you reach down for the button of your jeans.

You hear Yunho choke as if something is stuck in his throat. He averts his gaze, grabs your hands before you can strip in front of him, and quickly pulls your shirt down to cover your almost bare chest. “I did not need to know that, and I definitely did not need to see that.” He says, emphasizing on ‘that’. His ears turning a pinkish color.

It’s the first time you’ve ever splurged on a lingerie. Hell, it’s the first time you’ve ever bought lingerie—period. You spent over a hundred dollars for this set, and it was all for nothing.

“I have needs too, you know?” you snap. “It’s been way too long and I’m desperate. I thought maybe this will bring the spark back in our relationship.” Unsure why you made air quotes in your mind at the word ‘spark’, you look down on your fingers. Yunho is still holding your hands in his.

You turn towards the back of the couch and bury your face into the cushion wailing in defeat. Much more than your heart, it hurt your pride that your boyfriend—now ex- boyfriend decided today, out of all days, to break up with you. With all the last-minute cancels on your date plans and the fact that you saw him only eight times in the past 5 months and none of those times was he intimate, you were tempted too. You almost ended it yourself. But for the sake of all the years you’ve been together, you decided to give your relationship another chance.

Whether you’re hurt because he threw away all the years you were together for someone he met only a few months ago or because he broke up with you first, you’re unsure.

“Hey,” Yunho says in a low tone. “I’m sorry. That sounded mean.” He reaches for your chin and gently turns your head to face him. “Please stop crying… or I might end up punching someone out.”

“You’re lying,”

“You’re right. I hate getting punched in the face. I like my face too much,” he says as he brings one hand to rub his own cheek.

You laugh. You always enjoy these playful banters with Yunho. No matter how serious the situation is, he never fails to crack you up with his playfulness and funny antics. You try to recall the last time Jin has ever made your stomach hurt out of laughing so much but you don’t have such a memory while you always end up throwing your head back in laughter whenever you’re around Yunho.

You straighten up. His hand is now cupping your jaw, his thumb gently swiping away the tear that has fallen down your cheek. “Please stop crying. I hate seeing you cry.” He’s serious now. “It’s his loss. He’s a complete idiot for letting you go. He doesn’t know what a gem he’s missing out on. It sounds cliché but it’s true, there’s plenty of other guys out there who will treat you better.”

“Yeah?” a small smile curving on your lips. “Except you, apparently,” you tease him.

“Yeah,” you see him smile but it didn’t reach his eyes.

You turn towards his hand that is still cupping your jaw, his thumb still resting against your cheek. You feel your lips brush against his skin and the friction makes you close your eyes. His hand feels warm, it’s making you sleepy. Somehow, this moment with Yunho just feels right. He has one arm over the back of the couch. The warmth radiating from his body is enough to let you know he’s moved closer to you without having to open your eyes. He’s right there. He’s close and you feel safe. You turn your head towards his hand once more and this time, you plant a soft kiss on his thumb.

When you open your eyes, you see Yunho looking intently at you. His eyes dark and his lips slightly parted. His breathing shallow and fast. Whether it’s the alcohol making you adventurous or the look on his face as you plant more kisses on his thumb and palm, you’re unsure. You hear him gasp. He likes this. The idea of you having this much effect on your best friend is boosting the confidence you thought has been completely shattered a few moments ago.

Still feeling dizzy and your head cloudy, your brain fails to stop the words from coming out of your mouth. “Can I?” you ask him. Yunho opens his lips, but words fail him. Looking over you, he swallows hard. And you take that as a yes.

Once more, you plant a soft kiss on his thumb before you finally take it in your mouth.

“Mmm,” he moans softly as you swirl your tongue around it occasionally ghosting your teeth against his skin. How can his thumb feel soft and rigid at the same time against your tongue?

“Fuck,” he groans, and you grab his wrist to steady it, pushing his thumb deeper.

In haste, he takes his thumb out of your mouth. You lean forward hoping to catch it.

“Come here,” he grabs the back of your neck as he firmly presses his lips against yours. The suddenness of his action startles you and you start to wonder if you’re just dreaming it.

Is this real? Am I this desperate for intimacy that I’m dreaming of kissing my best friend?

Yunho’s lips start to move against yours, and it pulls you back to reality. It’s real. Your best friend is kissing you and he’s awfully good at it.

An inexplicable feeling of relief and appreciation washes over you. Yunho holding you in his arms feels right. He feels like home. It feels right to be with him.

“Yunho—,” you breathe into his mouth, and he takes this chance to slowly deepen the kiss. You grab onto his arm for support, his opposite hand wrap around your waist, pulling you closer to him. The feel of his body against yours is making your head spin out of control.

“Oh fuck,” he moans into your mouth, and it sends shivers down your spine. “You’re so beautiful,” he murmurs, his forehead pressed against yours. You close in on his mouth in desperate need as if you can’t get enough of him. You never want his lips to leave yours even for one second. Yunho kisses you again, his tongue finds your upper lip flicking it twice. You gasp at the sensation, and he slides his tongue into your mouth, tangling it with yours. He’s so good at this.

You groan, frustrated that you can’t seem to get close enough, so you gently place one hand on his chest and push him against the back of the couch as you swing one leg over his hips so you’re straddling him.

His gaze still fixed on you, his expression full of shock and lust. One hand reaches for the back of your neck bringing your lips back to press against his, the other winding around your waist. He shifts his pelvis forward, the stiffness underneath his jeans brushes against your core, and you whimper. You’ve never been kissed like this. Your mouth has never been devoured like a delicious dessert while strong arms were wrapped around you, holding you in place.

“Y/n,” the sound of your name on his lips is enough to send your mind into overdrive. You start grinding your body against his almost unconsciously, matching his rhythm. You feel his erection rub against your clothed core once again and this time you throw your head back at the contact.

“Oh,” you moan, the room suddenly feels so hot. If it gets any hotter than this, you might combust. You feel Yunho’s lips move to your cheek, down to your jaw and now he’s planting hot, wet kisses on your neck.

Both arms are wrapped around you now and you feel him bury his face on your neck while he tries to catch his breath. You grab onto his shoulders, your lips pressed against his hair. He stopped kissing you so suddenly but he’s still holding you close, leaving you confused.

“What’s wrong?” you ask him. He doesn’t answer, instead he squeezes you into the hug a little harder.

He finally breaks away from you. He gathers your legs on one arm and suddenly, you’re no longer straddling him.

Barely sober and still confused, you try to look into his eyes but his wouldn’t meet yours. Yunho has a somber expression on his face, one you’ve never seen before in all the years you’ve known him. He’s always been energetic and playful. You’ve never seen this side of him before. You want to ask him again to check that he’s okay, but you can’t bring yourself to open your mouth.

“You must be tired. You should go to sleep,” he gives you a small smile though he doesn’t look at you. He stands up, still holding you in his arms, and starts walking down the hall to his bedroom. The door is slightly open. He kicks it with one foot to let both of you in his room.

He’s so quiet. It’s so unlike him. You think to yourself as he lowers you down on his bed. He pulls the duvet out from underneath you and tucks you in. You stare at him intently, looking for his eyes amid the barely lit room. He finally meets your gaze, the expression in his eyes, unreadable. You feel his fingers brush against your cheek.

“Good night, y/n,” you feel the mattress shift as he stands and make his way towards the door. You try to reach for his arm hoping you can convince him to stay right next to you, but he already left.

He left.

Yunho left you in his room. By yourself.

You feel your throat close. Tears are rolling down your face and onto the pillow. The reality hit you. You just kissed your best friend, and he’s clearly regretting it.

Does he hate me?

Did I just ruin our friendship?

You turn and bury your face onto the pillow, silently praying that he doesn’t hear you cry from outside his bedroom. You thought you were heartbroken when you came here but now you feel as if your heart has been ripped out. Are you grieving the end of your relationship with Jin or the pain of rejection from your best friend? You’re pretty sure it’s the latter.

—

It’s been a week since that faithful night. You still can’t believe that you and Yunho shared a steamy kiss after you were dumped.

You haven’t seen him since, and you miss him terribly. But thinking about the way things went down that night and the lingering heartache, you resolve that it’s best that you don’t run into him for a while. At least until you’ve accepted that he just doesn’t see you as a woman.

To Yunho, you’ll always just be his best friend. Nothing more. And that’s enough. It should be.

You’re surprisingly thriving for someone who was dumped just a week ago. With all the years you’ve spent with Jin, you thought you would at least cry in bed for a week. But after only three days, you’re back to your usual routine. Things at work are going smoothly, your family is healthy, and you started working out again. Life is good—aside from the fact that you can’t bring yourself to reply to Yunho’s text from the following morning.

You feel your phone vibrate over your head and it woke you up. When you open your eyes, you noticed the sheets immediately. You’re not in your bed. This is not your room. And then you remembered. You’re in Yunho’s apartment. You came over as soon as your ex-boyfriend, Jin, dropped you off.

You quickly check the time on your phone. It’s flashing 7:15AM on the screen. The sun is already up, the warm sunlight is barely penetrating through the thick drapes.

You slowly sit up, pain splitting through your skull. You recall bringing your own poison last night, hoping it will drown out your sorrow, but your heart is still aching and now you have a hangover too.

You gasp as you recall another memory from last night. Yunho’s lips were against yours. One moment you were sharing the hottest kiss you’ve ever had in your entire life, then the next thing you know—it was over. You clutch your chest, the pain of rejection still lingering.

You carefully turn the doorknob to Yunho’s bedroom, praying you don’t wake him up if he’s sleeping in his small living room because you might die of humiliation, considering how things unfolded last night. You peek your head out the door and find him sleeping on his couch.

You tiptoe towards him, carefully grabbing your stuff that are spread all over the floor.

Yunho is sleeping soundly on his back, one arm covering his eyes. Your legs bend almost to their own accord as you bring yourself closer to watch over him.

He looks so peaceful. Your gaze trailed down towards his lips and you recall the feeling of them against yours. You notice how his lips perfectly curve into a heart shape. Were they always plump like this?

Yunho shifts slightly in his sleep. You place one hand over your mouth trying your best not to make a sound as you jump up, moving as far away from him as possible, hoping you didn’t wake him.

It seems like he’s still fast asleep. You quickly yet carefully put your shoes on and grabbed your things. You glance back at him one more time before you head out the door, gently shutting it behind you.

As soon as you got home, you plopped down on your own bed, you heard your phone vibrate from inside your purse. You reached for it, took your phone out to look at what the notification was for.

It was a text message.

From Yunho.

[Yuyu] “I noticed you already left. Did you have coffee at least?”

You wanted to text him back, but you couldn’t think of a good reply. You tried: “Yeah. I didn’t want to wake you” Delete. Delete. Delete.

You tried again: “I didn’t have enough time” Delete. Delete. Delete. You took a long sigh and put your phone back into your purse.

It’s 6:58PM on a Friday night. You’re mindlessly looking through Netflix’s library of shows and movies you can watch while you eat your dinner. It’s been 30 minutes, you’re done eating, but you still can’t find anything good to watch. As soon as you let out a sigh, you hear your phone vibrate on the couch.

[Minmin] “We’re going to the Rec Room tonight. Do you wanna come?”

It’s Mingi. You wonder by ‘we’ does he mean all the boys are coming? Including Yunho?

You don’t really have anything interesting to do tonight and it’s been a while since you hung out with them but are you ready to see Yunho? You’ve held out so well. Are you ready to face him after you’ve been rejected and heartbroken? What if you act awkwardly around him? What if the others notice? Wait—do they know?

It’s not that Yunho didn’t try to reach out after your multiple failed attempts at replying to his text. He did. He called you a couple times, but you never answered. You froze every time you saw his name on your phone screen and even if you were so desperate to hear his voice, you couldn’t bring yourself to answer, and he was sent to voicemail each time.

One time, he left a voicemail:

[Yuyu] “Hey… I haven’t seen you in a while. Just wanted to check in… Hope you’re okay.”

He’s sweet as ever, you nearly tear up. How can you hate this man for the let down when he’s being thoughtful like this?

You met Yunho just a little after you started dating Jin in college. Even then, he’s always been so popular with the girls.

One semester, you had the same class. You were both late, so you settled at the back of the room. You instantly clicked and ever since then, you’ve been great friends.

It’s probably because you were already dating Jin at the time but looking back, you never really wondered what Yunho thinks of you. You’ve met every single one of his rendezvous and you never once wondered if he would be interested in you in a similar way.

Besides, casual hookups were never your thing. You’re such an idealist when it comes to relationships. And that’s why even if Jin didn’t give you butterflies in your stomach or the dizzying feeling of being in love, you stayed with him, and at one point in your relationship, you believed you were in love with him.

Fiery passionate relationships scare you. You’ve heard and witnessed too many horror stories of intense, burning, hot relationships only for it to die down faster than it started. Jin felt safe, and that was exactly what you wanted.

But after the moment you had with Yunho in his apartment last week, you’re not so sure anymore. You at least know that if it’s with him, you’d be willing to give it a chance.

That’s enough reminiscing for one night. You stop yourself before you can even start going down the rabbit hole filled with what ifs. You bite the inside of your cheek as you type a reply to Mingi’s text, letting him know you’re down.

—

It only took you 18 minutes to get to the Rec Room by Uber. You worry that you might get trashed tonight so you decided to leave your car behind.

Loud noises from pin ball and video games, as well as the thrilled clamor of players welcome you into the large space.

You pass by a series of game machines and find your friends huddled around the laser hocky table. Mingi and San are playing against each other, and it looks intense from where you’re standing. Even though you can practically feel your heart in your throat, your eyes search for a familiar face, and you found him. But an instant wave of regret starts to weigh on your chest, your stomach in knots. You rethink your decision to hang out but it’s too late now.

You see Yunho standing against an arcade basketball machine, a bottle of beer in hand, a petite girl whispering into his ear. Whatever she said, it must have been funny because you see them giggling together. She’s wearing a light blue cropped tank and a mini jean skirt to match, an oversized cardigan over her shoulders. She has a full face of makeup on. She’s cute.

You unconsciously look down and start examining your own outfit. It’s a casual night so you decided to wear your favorite pair of lululemon leggings, a blue flannel over your cropped tank and stepped into your go-to Nike Airforce 1s. You put a light wash of makeup on but loaded up on the mascara before you head out.

You initially thought that it’s just the boys, they’ve seen your potato state multiple times before, they wouldn’t care. But now, you wish you’d put a little bit more effort into how you look.

Not that you want to impress Yunho or anything. Right?

“y/n!” Mingi shouting across from you, interrupting your thoughts. You notice Yunho turn his head in your direction from your periphery. He straightens up as soon as he sees you.

Mingi starts jogging towards you. He opens his arms wide and pulls you into a bear hug. “I’m glad you could make it!” he says, a smile curving on his lips, making his eyes disappear. You rest your chin on his shoulder, but the height difference is straining your neck.

“Thanks for inviting me!” you say amid the struggle.

As soon as Mingi breaks away, you see San come around the corner. “Hey!” he starts messing up your hair, earning him a groan from you. “I haven’t seen you in a while, I almost forgot how you look like!” he pouts.

“I’m sorry,” you tell him, biting the inside of your cheek. “I’ve been busy lately and there’s been… some changes in my life.” Your eyes find Yunho’s, looking intently at you as he slowly approaches you. You can’t tell if he’s happy to see you or what.

You exchange greetings with the other members then finally you hear Yunho speak.

“Hey,”

“Hey,” you respond awkwardly, barely able to hold his gaze.

“I didn’t know you were coming,” he says.

“Yeah,” you look at your feet, shifting your weight from side to side. “Mingi invited me. I didn’t’ have any plans so…” you continue, wondering why you feel so awkward. It’s just Yunho and his friends… and a cute girl.

You consider running back home and hiding from the world forever when someone else finally starts talking and you breathe a sigh of relief. You look up to see the same petite girl that was standing next to Yunho just a few moments ago.

She holds out a hand. “Hi,” she greets you, a sweet smile plastered across her face. “I’m Mina. You’re y/n?”

You try to hide your surprise at the fact that she knows your name. You wonder if you’ve met her somewhere before but you’re pretty sure tonight is the first time you’re seeing her.

“Hi! Yes—,” you reach out for her hand and gently shakes it.

“I’ve heard a lot about you,” she adds, beaming. Panic starts to bubble up in your gut. You wonder who told her about you. Is it Yunho? Are they together? Did you miss the memo and kissed your best friend, not realizing he’s already seeing someone else?

The thought makes your stomach roll. “I hope they were all wonderful things,” you say, trying your hardest to put on a smile.

You feel stuffy suddenly and you look around, praying for someone to come and rescue you from this awkward situation.

Like an answered prayer, Mingi comes back and interlocks one arm around yours. “What do you want to drink?” He gently pulls you towards the direction of the bar and you’re so thankful for his aid, you can almost kiss him.

—

It’s only 10PM but you can barely keep your eyes open. Mingi notices you yawning into your forearm.

“Tired?” he asks, bringing his long fingers to softly pinch your cheek.

“Yeah. I think I’m done for the night,” you say as you take one last sip of your cocktail.

Mingi has no idea how thankful you are that he pretty much never left your side the entire night. He’s so attentive, occasionally asking to make sure you’re still good. He takes you with him whatever game he takes interest in playing next or whenever he goes to the bar to get another round of drinks for everyone. He’s kept you busy. Busy enough to barely notice Yunho being all chummy with Mina. You feel a sharp pang of jealousy in your chest. He’s your best friend and you want to be territorial, but you can’t. He’s not yours. You remind yourself.

Hongjoong and Seonghwa are playing pool. You’re not sure where San and Yeosang are. Jongho is sitting right next to Mingi, scrolling through his phone. To your relief, Wooyoung has kept Mina entertained the entire night, although Yunho doesn’t go too far away without the two. You occasionally feel eyes on you and when you look up, you meet Yunho’s gaze. He has a blank expression on his face. You’re the first to break eye contact each time.

You press up to your heels and start gathering your stuff. “Did you bring your car?” you hear Jongho ask.

“No. I Uber-ed here just in case I get trashed. I don’t want to leave my car in the parking lot,” you say.

Mingi stands up and pulls you into a hug. He’s such a sweetheart. He’s been touchy and clingy all night. You don’t really mind since out of all of Yunho’s friends, Mingi is your baby.

“I’m so happy you came. I’ve been missing your face,” he says, gently pressing one hand at the back of your head, pulling you closer.

“Thank you for inviting me! I would’ve stayed in my sweats and spend the whole evening looking for something to watch on Netflix until I fall asleep,” you say, wrapping both arms around his waist.

He rubs your back with one hand before he lets you go.

“Did you book your ride yet?” you hear Yunho ask. You turn around, surprised to see him standing behind you. He was just talking to Wooyoung and Mina across the room.

“I have,” you answer him. “It should be here in 10 minutes. The driver is dropping off their last passenger somewhere close—”

“Can you still cancel it?” he asks again. Why does he look so serious?

You give him a confused look. “I brought my car. I can drive you home. Cancel it,” he explains.

“But you’ve been drinking too?” you argue.

“I only had one bottle,” he counters. “I didn’t want to drink too much in case you need me to drive you home.” His words tug at your heart. This is classic Yunho. It’s like he has a ‘y/n’-needs-help’ radar. He always seems to know when you’re in need of something or looking for help and he always manages to be there for you. And when he’s not available, he sends one of these guys so even if they’re technically his friends, you feel like you’re a part of the group too.

“Oh no! It’s fine. They’ll be here in 10 minutes—” you check the app on your phone. “9 minutes now.”

“y/n,” Yunho says in a firm tone. “I’m driving you home.” It’s not a question or a request.

You sigh. “Okay,” you concede, canceling the booking after you’ve checked that it’s not too late.

Yunho quickly runs up to Wooyoung and Mina across the room. You figure he’s letting them know that he’s leaving to drive you home. You can’t help but catch Yunho’s hand squeeze Mina’s arm and it leaves a bad taste in your mouth. You don’t like that he’s being intimate with another girl, and you realize that you’re being absurd for thinking that way, but you can’t help it. It didn’t bother you before but now it does and the thought that you can’t have Yunho all to yourself makes your heart sink.

“Let’s go,” Yunho says, and you head towards the parking lot. Although Yunho gets around, you’ve never seen him friendly with another girl before. He always drew the line at flirting. Maybe you just didn’t pay much attention? You never pry into his business, but you recall one time when you asked him out of sheer curiosity if he ever talks to the girls after he sleeps with them.

“No,” he says casually. “I don’t talk to them or see them ever again after that one night. I’m not looking to get in a relationship, so I hate to give anyone the wrong impression.”

—

The entire ride home was uncomfortable to say the least. Both of you barely spoke, tiptoeing around each other. His radio was on but all you could hear was the sound of your heart pounding. The awkwardness in the air was too much for you to bear so you resorted to fake napping.

Yunho pulls into your driveway. You open your eyes, straightens yourself up and quickly unbuckles your seatbelt.

“Thanks for driving me home,” you say, giving him a small smile. Not waiting for his reply, you reach for the car door and hurriedly step out. “Good night, Yunho.”

You head towards your front door, a lump in your throat starts forming. You sigh.

Why am I having such a hard time trying to talk to him? We’ve been good friends for so long. It was never hard like this.

Even while you pretended you were sound asleep the entire ride home, all you could really think about was how much you missed Yunho. It was hard not to see him for a whole week when you almost lived together considering how often you came over to each other’s apartments. When you don’t see each other longer than what’s considered normal for the both of you, you at least exchange text messages or call each other. When you think about it, you’ve seen Yunho more often that you’ve seen your ex-boyfriend Jin in the past 5 months.

Since that night, you’ve been aching to touch him again and the fact that he’s sitting right next to you, so close yet so impossible to reach is driving you mad, the fear of another rejection hanging over your head.

You get inside your apartment but before you can shut the door, you see Yunho trying to squeeze his form into the door frame. “Do you have beer?” he asks, breathing hard as if he’s been running.

It takes you a second to realize you’re staring at him but not letting him in, so you open the door a little wider.

Yunho gets in and closes the door behind him. He follows you straight to the kitchen then to the refrigerator. You grab two cans of beer and hands him one. Yunho quickly cracks it open, taking a big sip. You both lean against the kitchen counter, standing side by side.

You try to focus on your beer and not on the fact that Yunho is standing so close you can feel his warmth against your skin. His elbow gently bumps into your side, and you jump. You look up to meet his eyes.

“Sorry,” he says softly, finally breaking the silence.

“It’s okay—” you assure him, turning your gaze forwards.

“Are we okay?” he asks, you can tell he’s staring at you from your periphery.

“Yeah,” you say, looking at the beer can in your hand. “Why wouldn’t we be okay?” It’s not a total lie. You tried to feel okay, to bring back the same dynamic you had with Yunho before that night, but you failed miserably after each attempt. In truth, you haven’t been feeling okay since that night, all week, all night but you can’t tell him that. You can’t risk another heartache.

“I feel like you’re avoiding me…” he says in a small voice.

Yunho places his beer can down on the countertop. He turns to face you, placing one hand on the counter on either side of you. “Are you?” he asks. He’s searching for your eyes, but you keep your head down. “Talk to me… please,” he continues when you don’t answer. He sounds like he’s in pain.

He notices you fidgeting with your beer can. He gently takes it away from your hand and places it down on the countertop next to his.

You feel your cheeks heat up and you bit your lower lip, trying to fight back the tears that spring to your eyes. You look down at your fingers, trying to muster up the courage to tell him what’s been weighing on your mind this past week. He cups your jaw with one hand, his thumb gently stroking your cheek. He nudges your head up, forcing you to look at him.

You feel a lump in your throat forming, your stomach in knots at the thought that you may be passing the point of no return, but you’ve had enough of hiding your feelings. “You do it all the time with other girls,” you blurt out, meeting his gaze steadily, “why not with me?”

It took Yunho a moment to realize you’re talking about that night.

“Y/n,” he sighs, and it hurts. The heartache you endured last week has nothing on the pain you’re feeling right now. You already know what he’s about to do or say. Still, it doesn’t make it easier to hear the rejection straight from him.

“Because it’s you—” he says, dropping his hands by his side. You interject quickly before he can finish hoping it will soften the blow. “I- I’m sorry. I was stupid and I needed- I needed you…” your voice breaking. You swallow and turn in your spot away from him, so you don’t have to face him when he finally turns you down.

“I know you don’t have feelings for me… I know you don’t see me like that,” your heart breaks all over again and you can’t help the tears that are now spilling over. “It’s okay… really. I love you just the same.”

You feel his fingers reach for your elbow and you squeeze your eyes shut. You’ve been aching for his touch. So desperate to feel his body against yours. But he doesn’t want you—at least not in the same way—and it hurts. It hurts that you realized too late that you love him. It hurts that he can’t return your feelings. It hurts that you potentially just ruined your friendship, and it hurts because you don’t know how to go back to the way things were.

You step back away from the counter, Yunho mirroring behind you. This is too much, too painful for you to handle. Much more painful than when Jin ended your relationship of so many years. You hurriedly go around the corner of the counter, heading towards the living room when Yunho grabs your wrist, stopping your tracks.

“What do you mean?” he asks. You glance at the floor before looking back at him. His eyes roam over your features as if he’s looking for something. You hesitate slightly before opening your mouth to say something you know you’ll immediately regret.

“I- I’m in love with you.”

Yunho’s eyes widen at your confession. He opens his mouth then shuts it close again. Your eyes are overflowing with tears now and you look down at your fingers before you wipe your face with the back of one hand. “I- I don’t know when I started feeling this way…” you stutter, “but I know it wasn’t just because of that one kiss,” you’re talking faster now. “I’m sorry… I don’t want to ruin our friendship, but I can’t keep ignoring these feelings anymore—”

Yunho takes a step towards you. He places both hands on your face, cupping your jaw and he dips in to kiss you. One of his hands travel down your back, he holds you tight and pulls you closer. The kiss is rough and desperate, leaving you breathless when he finally breaks away. He bends down low and presses his forehead against yours.

“Oh,” he sighs. “What am I going to do with you?” an amused laugh on his lips.

You push him back, brows furrow in confusion. “Wait, what—”

He straightens up. “I love you,” he says simply, eyes sparkling, the corners of his lips pull up to a smile. “I’ve been in love with you since the moment I first met you.”

You shake your head, more confused than ever from the sudden confession. “But… you didn’t want me? You pulled away?”

He sighs again and look at his feet. “I knew you needed that release and I know I could give it to you. I want to,” he pauses. “But because it’s you, I didn’t.”

He reaches for your wrists and hold them in his hands, his thumbs drawing little circles on your skin. “I can’t make love with the woman of my dreams and expect for it not to crush me.” He looks back up at you, his gaze soft. “You were drunk, and I didn’t want to take advantage of you. What if you wake up the next morning and regret all of it? It would’ve broken my heart.”

Woman of his dreams.

“Y-you never said anything. You never—”

“Made a move on you?” he finished your sentence for you. “Jin was good to you, and I didn’t want to be that guy. You always seemed happy and content, so I buried all these feelings deep down inside of me hoping to forget they even exist.” He says quietly. “I know this sounds cliché so don’t laugh at me,” he pauses, his gaze steady on yours as if he’s waiting for you to swear it. “I wanted to stay in your life no matter what, even if it meant being your friend—your best friend—I was willing to do it.”

“Oh,” your breath hitches.

“But you came to me, and I let my guard down,” he says, bringing both hands to cup your face, his thumbs wiping away any remnants of tears from your cheeks. “All it took was one kiss to bring those feelings back up to the surface. I wanted to tell you sooner, but I thought maybe you need space—some time away from me—considering how you never responded to my texts and didn’t take my calls.”

“I’m sorry,” you mutter, “I thought I’ve been rejected, and I was hurt. I didn’t know how to face you…”

He chuckles. “Basically, we’re just a bunch of idiots… waiting on each other.” He says, tucking a stray hair behind your ear. “Promise me, we won’t do this again.” He holds your hands and squeezes them. “If you want to tell me something, don’t hesitate… tell me. I promise to do the same—like we’ve always done.”

You nod and Yunho kisses you again, gentler this time as if he’s afraid to hurt you then he deepens the kiss, pouring all the feelings he’s been trying to hide all these years into it. You’re both panting, desperate for oxygen when you pull away. “I love you, y/n. I’ve loved you for so long.”

“I love you too, Yunho.”

Wrapping your arms around the back of his neck, this time you kiss him. He lets out a moan and you can’t help but feel the heat pooling in your core. He wraps his arms around you, his large hands reaching down to cup your ass, pressing his hard length against your belly, your knees turning Jell-O. “You have no idea how much I’ve been wanting to take care of you since that night,” he says between kisses. “I barely stopped myself. I wanted you so bad.”

“Yunho—" you whimpered, desperate for more, eager to get closer, you grind your body against his. A low growl escapes his lips and the sound of it makes your skin tingle. He grabs your waist and turns your body, so your back is against the counter. Without breaking the kiss, he grasps your sides, lifts you up and sits you on the countertop before squeezing his form in between your legs. “I don’t think I can stop myself this time.”

“Then don’t,” you breathe into his ear.

“Oh,” he grins. “I’m not planning to.”

His lips trail down the side of your jaw and up towards your ear, nipping at your lobe. He starts moving south, planting hot, wet kisses on your neck. You feel his hands everywhere, palming every dip and mound and you stifle a moan.

His fingers start moving up from your thigh towards your core. When he runs his thumb along your aching heat, you nearly lost it.

“Fuck,” you grab onto his shoulder for support. “Hmm… you’re already so wet, I barely touched you,” he says, tilting his head back, looking at you through hooded eyes, a playful grin plastered across his face.

You’re not sure when he did it, but you notice he’s already taken your shoes and socks off. His fingers trail against the waistband of your leggings, nudging them down. You lift your hips slightly so he can take them off you. You’re thankful you decided to wear your best-looking underwear tonight.

“I’ll try to be gentle…” he murmurs into your ear, his voice deep, his hot breath against your skin, making your skin flush. “…but I can’t promise it.” His eyes are dark and intense. “You need to tell me if it’s too much for you, okay?”

You nod and his thumb swipes across your bottom lip. “Open for me,” he slides one finger into your mouth, finding your tongue and you start swirling it around the tip. This feels familiar and your brain tingles at the memory of you sucking on his thumb that night. You didn’t realize how much Yunho’s long and beautiful fingers turn you on.

Yunho takes his finger out of your mouth. He yanks your panties to the side and runs his finger that was in your mouth along your wet slit causing you to whimper, your free hand grabbing the edge of the counter.

“Please,” you whisper. He finally takes your panties off you and tosses it to the side so you’re fully naked from the waist down.

He bends down low in between your legs, large hands on each of your thighs pushing your legs apart a little bit wider. You bite your nail, suddenly feeling embarrassed.  This is not your first sexual encounter, but it is your first time with Yunho, who you’ve been friends with for a long time. He’s never seen you like this and to be honest, you look so soft and vulnerable, so exposed in this position, Yunho nearly loses his mind, his cock throbbing underneath his pants.

“You look so beautiful like this,” he says before his lips finally dive into your sensitive heat and you can’t help but throw your head back at the contact. His warm tongue teasing your sensitive spot causing you to arch your back on the countertop. Yunho takes it as a cue and starts devouring you as if his life depended on it.

“Fuck,” you grab a fistful of his soft locks, your hips start moving almost to their own accord, trying to find a rhythm, desperate for more. When he stiffens his tongue and presses it inside you, the pleasure nearly takes you out.

“Oh my—” you can feel your release getting closer and closer. Yunho grabs one of your wrists pulling forward so you can curl up and watch him eat you out. “Look at me,” he says, his mouth momentarily taking a break. “You feel good, baby?” he asks.

“So good.” He chuckles against your skin. His tongue finds your entrance again, relentlessly pressing in and out and it tips you over the edge. You shudder out a moan, legs shaking as you come apart against his mouth.

“Let’s move to somewhere more comfortable.” He wraps your legs around his waist, interlocking your ankles behind the small of his back. He lifts you up and starts walking towards your bedroom. He knows the layout of your apartment as if it’s his own.

He places you at the foot of your bed and with one swift move, he takes your tank top off you, followed by your bra so you’re fully naked in front of him. He’s dreamt of your naked body before, as much as he tried not to, but the sight of you right now beats whatever he had in mind.

He scrambles to take his shirt off and quickly tosses it to the side. You’ve seen him without a shirt before when you went to the beach along with his group of friends, so you already know that he has a fit body. Your eyes feast on his perfect proportions—broad shoulders, strong chest, toned abs and arms. He’s beautiful.

He yanks his pants and boxers down just enough to let his stiff length spring free from its confinements. Your eyes widen in surprise, and you worry for a moment if it will fit. He’s big.

Yunho kisses you again, more desperately this time. He pushes one finger inside you while his other hand moves up to fondle your breast, capturing it in his mouth and you let out a whimper in response. You hear him tear open the foil wrapper and you instinctively spread your legs wider for him. Yunho lines himself up against your entrance and he gasps when he finally starts sliding forward.

You’re both panting now. He places both hands on either side of you so he can slide further. “Fuck, baby. You’re so tight,” he cries. “I may not last long.”

You wrap your legs around his waist, pressing him down on your body. He’s all the way inside you now and you feel impossibly full.

“Please,” you whisper into his ear, pressing your forehead against his, your hand gently pulling on his soft locks. “I need it.”

Yunho pulls all the way out but sinks right back in—all the way—causing both of you to whimper, your nails digging into the skin of his back. He starts moving his hips, keeping his pace slow and steady at first, slowly stretching you out until your body is used to his size. You can’t believe how close you are already. You buck your hips up to meet each thrust and as if Yunho can sense your urgency, he picks up his pace causing you to whine and moan underneath him, your release just around the corner.

“Let go,” he says, and his words are enough to tip you over the edge. “Yunho!” you cry out, arching your back as you clench around him, legs shaking at the intensity of your release. He’s not far behind. He drives into you a couple more times before you hear him cry out your name as he shudders inside you.

He collapses on top of you, staying there for a moment before laying on his side right next to you. He pulls you in and you rest your head on his chest. His heart beating as loud as yours as you both try to catch your breath. “You’re amazing,” he breathes, kissing the top of your head.

“Umm, Yunho…” you lift your head up to look at his face, his eyes are closed.

“Hmm?”

“Is this okay? What about Mina?” It’s probably too late now but you’re dying to ask.

“What about her?” he asks calmly.

“Didn’t you bring her to the Rec Room tonight?” you ease up on your elbow, your face hovering over his and he opens his eyes to meet yours.

“I did,” he says casually. “But she’s there for Wooyoung,” he continues, his fingers playing with your hair. “We work together. I told her we’re hanging out tonight and she asked me if I can take her so they can officially meet.”

“So… you’re not together?” you ask.

“Nope,” he immediately responds. “Y/n, I haven’t been with anyone in the past 5 months. We’ve been spending so much time together. I thought you would notice.” He chuckles, softly pinching your cheeks.

You tilt your head to one side and start pouting. “How does she know me?” you ask. Yunho smiles. “She may have heard the boys tease me about you once or twice before.”

Your brows furrow in confusion. You’re still not sure where he’s going with this.

“They think I’m stupid for not shooting my shot with you,” he scoffs. “They think we should be together.” His face lights up, eyes sparkling, and he looks flushed. He’s so adorable and you can’t help but swoon.

“How did I not realize sooner that I’m actually in love with you?” you ask. It’s not a real question and he seems to know it.

Yunho smiles, holds your hand and squeezes it before planting a soft kiss on your palm. “I would’ve waited forever for you.”

—

A few months later…

You enter the neighborhood coffeeshop with your boyfriend Yunho. Fingers intertwined as you walk hand in hand towards the counter.

“Do you want the usual?” he asks.

You nod and just as you were about to open your mouth to add something, the guy with an awfully familiar figure standing in front of you turns around.

It’s Jin.

“Hey,” he smiles, his gaze turns toward Yunho then back to you. You’re pretty sure he noticed you holding hands.

It takes you a moment to realize your mouth is open and you greet him back. You exchange glances with Yunho, hoping he understands what you’re trying to communicate with him. It seems like he did because he mouths “You good?” and after you give him a nod, he starts stepping away to find a table for the two of you.

You hear Jin chuckle in front of you as he places his card back in his wallet. “I see that you two finally started dating each other…”

Finally?

“What do you mean?” you ask, an awkward smile on your lips.

“Y/n,” he says. “We were together for a long time,” he continues. “I know things about you… maybe better than you know yourself,” he pauses, his eyes look like they’re searching for something. “You’re in love with him,” you follow where he fixed his gaze, and you find Yunho sitting by the glass wall. He’s already found a table for the two of you. “You have been… for a long time.”

Jin’s words urge you to recall all the fond memories you’ve had with Yunho all these years. It’s hard to miss the affection you have for each other. Everyone seems to know except the two of you.

“At first, I thought maybe I was keeping the two of you from getting together,” he pauses again and look at his feet then looks up to meet your eyes. “But I think we both know that’s not the whole truth.”

You bite your lip. He’s not wrong. You were so scared of getting your heart broken. You’ve heard and witnessed enough of fiery, passionate relationships and the end always look the same, someone’s heart in a million pieces. You led yourself to believe that what you wanted was something safe and familiar. You liked that your relationship with Jin was predictable because you thought you can avoid getting hurt this way, not realizing that you were growing apart and both of you were no longer happy. But now, you realize it’s not about how the relationship started. The right person will always feel like home.

“I know you loved me too and I’m thankful for it—” he sighs. “I’m sorry that I hurt you… but we both deserved better.” He places a hand on your shoulder and gently squeezes.

You smile at him.

—

You place the drinks on the table before you settle on the seat opposite Yunho.

“What did he say and how dare he touch you?” Yunho blurts out before taking a sip of his coffee and it makes you giggle.

“Are you… jealous?” you ask, narrowing your eyes as you tease him.

“Me? Jealous?” He scoffs. “So what did he say?” he asks, his lips in a straight line.

You laugh a little louder this time. Yunho is in no way a jealous boyfriend, but he can get a bit territorial, which is understandable considering you just talked to someone you’ve had a long history with.

He pouts when you didn’t answer right away and he’s so cute, you want to squish his face.

“He said it’s about time we started dating each other,” you say casually.

Yunho loosens up, he stretches out a hand on top of the table and you place your hand in it. “He’s right,” he admits. “It took us way too long to get here,” he pauses, squeezing your hand.

No amount of pep talk prepared you for when you finally saw him for the first time in weeks. Regardless of the issues you have in your relationship, you can’t deny the fact that you miss him. The knot in your stomach is enough proof that you still care for him. You still love him.

No amount of pep talk prepared you for when you finally saw him for the first time in weeks. Regardless of the issues you have in your relationship, you can’t deny the fact that you miss him. The knot in your stomach is enough proof that you still care for him. You still love him.

He’s busy talking to Mingi and Wooyoung at the bar while you chat with the other guests. Occasionally, you lock eyes with Yunho. He has a serious look on his face, one hand swirling the whiskey within the glass before bringing it back to his lips for a sip. You feel hot just from the way he stares at you from across the room.

“Talk to him,” you turn around to see Mingi whispering down to your ear. He’s the only one who knows, of course. Nothing escapes Mingi.

“About what?” you ask.

“You know what,” he answers, his eyes roam over your features as if he’s looking for a particular reaction.

“I prefer not to,” you tell him casually, not meeting his eyes and you hear him sigh before he leaves your side to go back to the bar.

Yunho tilts his head towards the passenger side as if inviting you over. You hesitate for a moment before getting out of your car and into his.

Silence filled the air. There’s no one else in the parking lot except the two of you. All you can hear is the noise of cars driving by the nearby roads and the faint music playing on his radio.

Your stomach flips at the familiar scent of his car and of his cologne. Your heart is beating so fast it’s almost hard to breathe and you close your eyes. Alcohol usually has that effect on you but tonight, you’re unsure. It could just be because you’re sitting next to Yunho and you’re trying so hard not to throw yourself at him. He’s wearing a black dress shirt, the fabric snuggly hugging his broad form, the sleeves rolled up around his elbows. A couple of buttons were undone, and you notice the silver chain hanging around his neck. He paired it with black slim trousers, tapered around his thigh accentuating his muscles. There is no other word to describe him—he’s gorgeous.

He’s always been gorgeous. But especially tonight.

“You, okay?” Yunho asks, he seems to notice your breathing.

“Yeah,” you answer, taking in a deep breath, eyes still closed. “Just can’t breathe… too much alcohol, I think.”

“Yeah,” he says, a hint of humor in his tone and you can’t help but think that maybe he’s making fun of you right now. You open your eyes to see him looking over you, a suppressed smile on his lips. “Two tall glasses of Mai Tais are usually your limit,” he chuckles this time, one arm resting on the steering wheel while he continuously rubs a finger back and forth across his bottom lip and you can’t help but stare at him, at those lips.

“I hate you,” you growl as you gently shake your head, hoping it will help get the thoughts of kissing his heart-shaped lips and sucking on his long and beautiful fingers out of your head.

“You don’t mean that,” he says in a small voice, his lips in a straight line, his expression is serious now. He opens a water bottle and takes a big sip before offering it to you. You hesitate for a moment before taking the water bottle from his hand and placing your own to where his lips were just now.

You place the bottle in the empty cupholder. You fix your gaze forwards avoiding his. “How have you been?” he finally asks, and you can’t help the lump that forms in your throat. You know he’s just making small talk because he probably feels awkward having you in his car in an empty parking lot at midnight.

“I- I’m okay,” you answer which came out more like a stutter and you squeeze your eyes shut, praying he doesn’t notice the effect he has on you.

“You?”

A moment of deafening silence before he finally says, “Not good.”

You open your eyes and turn to look at him, a concerned look on your face.

“I miss you,” he sighs, and it breaks your heart because you miss him too—more than you want to admit. You didn’t want to be apart from him, but you always end up fighting whenever you’re together. You didn’t want the space, but you needed it. Otherwise, you just might end up despising each other and you don’t want that. Yunho was your friend first before he was your boyfriend after all. You don’t want to complicate anything since you share the same group of friends, you live in the same neighborhood and Mingi—he surely doesn’t want to see his two best friends hating on each other.

“How much longer do we need to be on this break?” he asks, the bitterness towards the word ‘break’ evident in his voice.

You open your mouth in attempt to respond but you can’t find words. You look down on your fingers, feeling your cheeks heat up in frustration.

“You’re not breaking up with me, are you?” he continues when you don’t answer. His question surprising you, making you look up immediately to meet his intense gaze.

“Is there someone else?” he asks sternly, and his words cut like a knife through you.

“What— No!” you exclaim, shaking your head before burying it in your palms.

Has he ever seen you with another man other than your friends? Have you ever given him any reason to suspect you?

You can’t believe he’s even asking the question. You’re mad, disappointed and frustrated that you can no longer keep your tears from falling.

“This is exactly why we need this break!” you say as you turn in your seat to fully face him, wiping your tears with the back of your hands in annoyance. Why do you always have to cry when you’re angry?

“Aren’t you sick of this?” it’s not a real question. “We always end up fighting every time we’re together. Yunho…” you pause, reconsidering your words, “I love you so much… but I’m tired.” Your voice shaky and barely audible.

All you can hear now is the sound of your own heart breaking. You feel stuffy suddenly. You need to get away—away from him, from this moment, from this pain. You reach for the car door in an attempt to get out, but Yunho’s large hand grabs your wrist before you can even find the door handle. He pulls you forwards, pinning your wrist against your seat beside your head as his other hand cups the back of your neck, his lips pressing against yours.

His grip on your wrist is firm as if communicating that he doesn’t want to let you go but his lips were gentle on yours. You think about pushing him away for a second, but you can’t. He tastes like whiskey and smells of vanilla, making you lose control. The man who has your heart, who has all of you, kissing you so tenderly breaks your resolve. He slants his lips against yours, deepening the kiss, and you melt into his touch.

He loosens his grip on your wrist. Your hands find their way to cup his face before gliding down to the base of his neck. You longed for his touch for weeks, so you kiss him back with equal fervor determined to get your fill.

You don’t break the kiss until you’re both breathless. Yunho presses his forehead against yours. His large hands still cupping the sides of your face and you place a soft kiss on his palm, your smalls hands holding onto his wrists.

Yunho bites his lower lip. He looks out in the vast empty parking lot, seemingly searching for the right words to say.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers as he turns to face you again, his large hands never leaving your skin, his thumb swiping away any remnants of tears that trailed down your cheeks. “I just…” he pauses, and you notice him wince as if he’s in pain, but he looks into your eyes before he continues, “I can’t lose you. I don’t want to.”

“Me neither,” you admit in a small voice, your tears threatening to spill over once again.

“We can fix this, right?” he asks, his eyes studying you. “We’ll make it work.”

You close your eyes as you nod your head again and again in response until you feel his lips brush against yours again and he kisses you with more hunger this time. His hand reaching behind the small of your back to pull you closer while the other cups the side of your face.

“Fuck,” he moans into your mouth, “I’m sorry but I’ve missed you so much.” He says as one hand reaches down for the hem of your dress, lifting it up. His long fingers find your aching heat and he starts to rub across your swollen clit. You can feel the warmth of his fingertips through the thin fabric, making you gasp.

“Hmm, you’re so wet. Is this all for me?” he teases.

“Yunho,” the sound that leaves you is breathy and desperate. Desperate to feel him, all of him, everywhere. His fingers start to move in circles against your sensitive spot building up the intoxicating pleasure in your core.

He breaks the kiss for a moment, his gaze holding yours steady. “I’m not letting you go… You hear me?” he asks but doesn’t wait for your response as his lips start to move down to your chin and along your jaw before landing on your neck, nibbling and kissing on your pulse points.

“You’re mine,”he breathes against your skin, his words making your heart jump. You love it when he’s being territorial.

“I’m yours,”

He yanks your panties to the side, too impatient to even take them off you and he pushes a finger into you, curling up to reach your pleasure spot and you whimper. You place one hand to rest on his back, gripping the fabric of his shirt as he continues to work you over, bringing you closer and closer to the edge. You feel him push another finger into you and the delicious stretch sends waves of heat straight to your core. Pressure builds in your belly as his fingers start to pick up speed, the rough pace he’s set is dizzying.

“Yunho!” a suppressed moan leaving your lips, legs shaking as you come apart on his fingers. “There you go.” Yunho whispers, one side of his lips upturned as if satisfied with what he’s done.

As you come down from your high, you remember you’re out in public. You straighten up against your seat almost immediately and you look around, worried that someone may have shown up at the parking lot.

Yunho notices your anxious expression. “There’s no one here…” he chuckles softly, “but you may still want to keep it down. Just in case.” He smiles and he pulls you in for another kiss and you wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him closer. Both of you are growing more and more desperate for each other with each passing moment.

“Forget it!” he exclaims before pressing his forehead against yours, his large hands roaming your body before they find your ass, squeezing tightly causing your hips to roll forwards in his impatience.

“I can’t wait to have you,” he breathes through his teeth. “I’ve missed this for weeks.” He leans slightly back to look into your eyes. “I’m fucking you in this car if I have to.” His lips close in on yours one more time, his teeth gently tug on your bottom lip before he opens the door to his side of the car and hurriedly gets out.

You notice him spare a glance in every direction before he finally opens the door to the backseat. He chuckles softly, eyes smiling when he notices you already made your way there without even leaving the car.

“You’re so tiny, you can fit anywhere.” He says, a playful grin on his lips.

He pushes the driver’s seat all the way forward to give room for his long legs before he turns to grab your sides and hoists you up to place you on his lap, your knees straddling his hips.

“You’re so beautiful,” he whispers, his hand pushing your silky hair back so he can see your face clearly. “I can’t keep my hands off you.”

You feel your cheeks blush at the compliment. He’s always so sweet like this. He knows exactly where to touch you and what to say to send your heart racing. If you could only bottle up this moment, you would only to pull it out every time it gets rough. Loving him is a double-edged sword. It’s equally blissful and painful and oh, how you wish you can leave out the pain.

His hands glide down your neck before they land where your shoulder meets your arms on both sides, ruffling the puff sleeves of your dress. It’s cinched around the waist and the hem sits just above your knees. “I don’t think I’ve seen this dress before,” he says, giving you a once-over. “Is this new?”

He continues when you nod. “I love it. You should wear it again.” With one swift move, he reaches behind you and unzips your dress, revealing a black strapless bra underneath. He looks up to you, his eyes sparkling with desire. A devilish smile spreads across his lips as he finds the clasp of your bra and he removes it tossing it to the side. The rough pad of his thumb swipes across your nipple, his mouth capturing the other in his mouth, and you throw your head back at the sensation. You slide your hands around his neck, and you grab a fistful of his soft locks, tugging gently. You feel his large hands wrap around your ribs, pulling you closer. Your hips start moving on their own seeking more pleasure in your other parts. He shifts in his seat, and you feel his erection straining against the fabric of his pants. He wants you just as much as you want him.

“Please,” the sound that leaves you is in between a moan and a plea. You reach for the buckle of his belt, and he helps you loosen it, get the button of his pants undone and pull the zipper down to finally free his length of its constraints. He’s painfully hard. He’s big… just as you remember. You reach down to hold him, your small hands barely covering the entirety of his length and he groans against your skin. “I need you,”

With a quick kiss to your temple, he obliges. He yanks your panties to the side once again and you lift your hips off his lap slightly so he can line himself against your entrance. He grips your sides and guides you down his length until your ass is flush against his hips, the stretch feels new and familiar at the same time, catching you by wonderful surprise.

You start to move your hips on top of him, his hands never leaving your sides, guiding you where he wants you.

“You feel so good, baby.” He breathes underneath you. “Nice and tight and wet for me.” He tangles his hand in your long, beautiful hair as he wraps one arm around your waist to hold you in place. This time, he drives into you, hitting your pleasure spot so perfectly, you can’t help but roll your eyes into your head. You feel so close already. Again.

“Oh fuck!” you hear him grunt and soon, you feel him quickening his pace. He tenses underneath you, but he catches himself just in time. He maneuvers you off him and pushes you gently down to lay on your back. You’re not sure how Yunho’s tall frame fit in the car with you but that’s the least of your worries. You need more of him, so you reach for his sides to tug on his shirt, urging him to fill you up once again… and he does. He pushes your legs up so high over his shoulders, you feel your hips suspended in the air. With one hand against the back of the passenger seat, one hand planted on your side, he sinks back into you—all the way.

“Yunho—” you whimper. “It’s so deep.”

“I know, baby. I can feel you.” A breathy groan slips out of his lips. He closes his eyes as he reaches your pleasure spot once again. “You can take me though, right?” you see him smile but his eyes still dark and hungry. “I know you can.”

You nod. “I want you,” you tell him, you tug on his shirt once again, begging him to move. “I want all of you.”

He starts to move his hips a little eager this time. He’s reaching you so deep, he’s a little worried he might break you. You lift your hips up a little bit higher to meet every snap of his hips, heat pooling in your core and you tighten around him. He knows you’re close. He knows your body so well… so he pounds into you, his pace relentless, leaving both of you a panting mess.

“I love you, y/n.” He hisses through his teeth as his pace falters. His hand cups the back of your neck, pressing your foreheads together and you wrap your legs around his waist. “I love you so much. Come for me.” He groans, punctuating his words with his hips and it sends you spiraling. You let go, body convulsing at the intensity of your release. He’s not far behind. He pistons his hips recklessly into you, chasing his own high and you feel him stiffen and shudder out your name as he empties himself inside you.

Whether it’s the mixed emotions leading up to this moment or the effect of alcohol that made your orgasm the most intense you’ve ever experienced in your entire life, you’re unsure. But you do know it has everything to do with Yunho.

  He plants a soft kiss on your lips before he pulls out and helps you up. He envelops you in a tight hug and you feel his heart beating as fast as yours as you both try to steady your breathing.

“I love you, Yunho.” You manage to whisper despite the shakiness in your voice.

“I love you more, baby.” He says as he leans slightly back to look at your face, pushing your hair away from it. “I’m sorry I couldn’t wait long enough to take you home—”

You hush him, tapping your fingers gently against his broad chest. “It was perfect.” You say, a sweet smile on your face.

He cups your face and starts pressing light kisses on your forehead, on your temples, the tip of your nose, and on either side of your cheeks before he whispers with an endearing smile, “You are.”

Your heart is filled with hope again. Maybe this time—it will be different. You hope that the words spoken between the two of you are not just empty promises and you’ll work on your relationship… together. But you do know that for Yunho, you’re always ready and willing to give your all.

You’re not exactly sure how long you’ve been standing under the hot water trying to stop imagining any one of your partners inside of you, but eventually you have to give up resisting and do something about it. It’s been a little over a week since you had been with any of them, not a free minute in their schedules to relax together let alone have sex. A week used to be fine, more than fine when you were living on your own. Now you are used to a new tempo, and your body keeps reminding you what it's missing. 

You’re up early this morning, earlier than their alarms start going off. You woke up with a start in the middle of a dream. Seonghwa’s head had been between your thighs, and when you rocket into consciousness you realize you’re covered in sweat and as wet as you’ve ever been. 

A cold shower seemed to be the best option to cool off before work and try to get your suddenly insatiable sex drive in check, but as the minutes go on, you just keep turning up the heat of the water and thinking about them more. San’s tongue on your nipples, Yunho buried inside you, Hongjoong’s hand tight in your hair. At a flickering image of Yeosang hiking up your leg and teasing your clit with the head of his cock you sigh and lean against the tile wall. 

If you don’t do something about this, you’re going to combust. 

At the thought of Wooyoung bending you over his desk, you slip a hand between your thighs and dip your middle finger between your wet folds. You’re shockingly sensitive, and you stifle a moan already, starting to slowly circle your clit and applying pressure little by little. 

Your eyes drift closed, and an image of Jongho lifting you into his arms makes you quiver. You haven’t slept with him yet, but that doesn't mean you haven’t exchanged some heated glances with each other, and you know when you finally do it’s going to be good. For now, you can imagine - his broad hands holding you up by your thighs, your back pinned up against the wall. 

You picture San kissing his way down your throat, his hot mouth working down over your chest and belly, pushing a finger inside you and teasing your clit with the tip of his tongue. You rock your hand a little faster, dipping your fingers down to catch more of your slick wetness and massage your swollen nub. 

San’s fingers are replaced with Seonghwa’s - long delicate fingers pumping in and out of your core, and you arch your hand and shift your hips forward to sink one finger inside yourself, then another. A soft panting moan erupts from your throat, but you hope the sound of the shower covers it well. 

Yunho’s teasing voice echoes in your ear, and your mind blends the images together - him behind you and holding you open wide, Seonghwa inside you, Yeosang pinning your wrists to the bed as he palms his cock. You can barely breathe at the thought, and you knead your breast with your free hand, tweaking your nipples as you rock desperately into your hand to get the right amount of friction. 

You imagine your hand is Mingi’s now, remembering the way he had fingered you before, and you chase the feeling frantically. You can’t quite reach it, but you’re close, the promise of their touches almost enough to get you there. 

When the door to the bathroom opens suddenly you gasp, pulling your hands away from yourself and pushing off the tile wall, your legs shaking and your core pulsing at the sudden lack of sensation. 

“Um,” you manage, “good morning?” 

“You’re using up all the hot water, babe,” Mingi’s deep morning voice murmurs, and you hear the door shut. 

You blush red, his voice sending a tight coil of heat through you, and being caught by the man you were just imagining has you more than a little flustered. You exhale slow and then respond, “I’m sorry, I’ll be out in just a minute,” 

“It’s okay,” Mingi says, and you can practically see the smile on his face. 

You’re about to respond when Mingi pushes back the shower curtain just enough to poke his head in. You gasp, not expecting him to intrude, and on a reflex your arm flies up to cover your breasts. “Mingi!”

He directs his gaze to the corner of the shower, but doesn’t leave, “Sorry,” he says, “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable,” 

Your shoulders relax, you don’t really mind except for the fact that you had just been picturing his fingers inside you and he’s never really seen you naked. You shake your head, “No, it’s okay, just give me a minute and I’ll be done and you can have the shower.” 

He doesn’t respond right away, instead you watch as he chews on his inner cheek for just a moment before turning his head toward you again and leveling you with his direct gaze, “You know, this would go a lot faster if you just let me help you.” 

“Wh-what?” Your eyes widen. 

“You need to come,” he says, matter of fact, “I can help with that,” 

If it’s possible to blush harder, you do. 

“Right,” he says and he disappears from your eye line. When you see him again, he’s naked himself and climbing into the shower with you. 

“Mingi!” You don’t even know what else to say. 

“y/n,” he smiles, teasing a little. 

“What are you doing?” You manage. 

“Conserving water,” he smirks. 

“I’ll get out then,” You glance out the side of the shower to locate a towel. 

“Babe,” Mingi interrupts you, moving closer and crowding you back against the tile wall, “are you really going to tell me you’re not worked up?” 

“I’m fine,” you murmur. 

“This is fine?” He ghosts his thumb over your painfully erect nipple and the sudden pleasure of it pulls a stammered moan from deep inside you. He smiles, “I think you’re as horny as the rest of us,” he kneads your breast softly and flicks your nipple, “and I have no idea why you aren’t letting me help you.” 

“I’m clearly an idiot,” you drop your head back against the tile. 

He laughs and grins, “Just relax then,” 

You nod, unable to respond as he dips his head and captures your nipple in his mouth. He rolls his tongue over the pebbled bud and flicks it steadily, and your eyes fall closed again as you shudder a breath. His kisses spread, his large hands sliding down your sides to cup your hips, and his lips making their way down your chest, over your breasts, and lower still. Your eyes flutter open and through the steam you see Mingi dropping to his knees in front of you, his hands massaging your thighs and his lips sinking lower to press against your mound. 

“Oh god,” you breathe and he smiles against your skin. 

“Here,” he widens your legs a bit more and you tilt your hips forwards. 

“Please,” you murmur. 

“Shh,” he kisses your skin again, “everyone will hear you,” 

A soft groan escapes your lips and you drop your head back against the tile again, your hand anchored on his shoulder for purchase. 

He drags a finger through your slit and smiles again, “You do need some help,” 

Your hips jerk as he finger presses over your clit, but it’s nothing compared to the sensation of his mouth when he finally leans in and sinks his tongue into your folds. You intake a breath sharply and his hands massage your hips, relaxing you into his touches and sending your brain into a spiral. He alternates between a firm drag of his tongue and flicks and sucks, nuzzling into you with fevered desperation like he wants to taste more and more of you. 

You were close to coming before, and now with his hands on you it’s a matter of moments before you do. He opens you up wider, a sure hand under your thigh to raise your left leg up and over his shoulder, and he holds you incredibly still and steady with his hands locked onto your hips. Your hand that grips his shoulder slides up his wet back and locks into his hair, your other hand scrambles to hang onto the shower curtain rod for extra stability. 

“Mingi, please,” you beg, rolling your hips unconsciously towards him. 

“Come,” he murmurs as he takes a breath, diving back to suck sharply on your overstimulated clit. 

“Don’t stop,” you urge him, “just like that and I’ll,” your words die in your throat, and your eyes press tightly together as you muffle the sound of your moans, “I’ll,” you whine again, hand tight in his hair. 

He leans in harder, burying himself even closer and presses his tongue as deeply inside you as he can before he drags it back up and focuses the attention on your clit. Your hand drops from the curtain rod to your breast and you flick your nipple, eyes opening to watch him as he eats at you. 

The pressure builds up, and you flick your nipple sharply as he delivers a pointed suck. After over a week of nothing, the orgasm hits you like thunderclap and you bite down to stop the deep moan in your chest from releasing. Your legs give just a little and you slip, but Mingi’s hands on your hips press back and pin you to the shower wall, leaving you to hold yourself up with a hand on his head and his shoulder. 

His mouth slows, but doesn’t quite leave you, not until you’re fully spent and arching your hips away from his mouth to disconnect him. He takes a breath when he leans back, his chest heaving and he smiles, kissing across your trembling inner thigh before he drops your leg back and eases himself off the shower floor back to stand. 

“Better?” He murmurs, still holding you. 

“Mhm,” you can’t completely form words yet, but you smile and nod. 

He leans in, kissing you slowly, but when he shifts you feel the hot and hard length of his cock against your thigh and break your mouths apart, looking down between your bodies. He’s large, long and thick like Yunho, maybe even a little more, and you can’t help but smile when you think about the two tallest members being so equally gifted. 

“Mingi,” you murmur, reaching down and brushing his cock with your fingertips, “can I have you?” 

“Now?” He asks, squeezing you gently. 

“I want you,” you lock eyes with him, “do we have time?” 

“Not much,” he admits, “but come here,” 

You nod, eager, and spread your legs again, but when he leans forwards the height difference has his hips slotting against you too high. You reach for his shoulders, using him as an anchor and press up on your tiptoes, opening one leg up for him. He holds it open, and dips low, the head of his cock dragging over your clit but still not hitting the right angle for him to thrust up into your aching heat. 

“Hang on,” he says, hoisting you up a bit in his arms, your feet are fully off the shower floor now and he controls your movement with his hands on your hips but he’s holding your weight fully suspended and you hang off his shoulders. 

“This can’t be good for you,” you smile up at him. 

“I got it,” he shakes his head, “come here,” 

Mingi takes a step back to the shower wall and you settle your back on the tile. He lines up with your entrance and slowly pushes in, the stretch of him pushing you open wide and leaving you gasping. 

“Okay?” He checks, glancing from where his cock has started to disappear inside you to your face. 

“Uh huh,” you sigh, holding onto his shoulders a little more tightly, “keep going,” 

He pushes forwards more, sinking another inch or so inside you and he sighs heavy, his hands tight on your hips as he drags your body forward onto his thick length. The stretch at this angle though isn’t working, and when you try to shift your hips to adjust it slightly you both slip a little and brace yourselves against the side wall. 

His face lights up in a laugh and he leans his forehead against yours, “This is harder than it looks,” 

“Let me down, baby,” you press a quick kiss to his lips. 

He slides out of you and helps you down onto your feet again before straightening up and running a hand through his damp hair. 

“Okay come here,” you tug him forwards so he towers over you as you lean back against the wall, “it’s my turn to make you come.” 

His eyes darken and he bites his lip, “Yeah?” 

“Mhm,” you draw him closer, and he braces himself on the wall above you, “it’s only fair,” 

“Yeah,” he breathes as your hand wraps around his cock, sliding up and down to give him some relief. 

“More?” You check, glancing up at him to make sure your pace is good for him. 

He nods, dropping one of his hands to lazily palm your breast and you speed up your hand just enough, making sure to roll the soft part of your palm over the head of his cock, dragging the bead of precum down his shaft. 

When he tweaks your nipple just right your legs tighten and you sigh. Mingi dips a little lower to catch your eyes, “Again?” 

“Um,” your pace working his cock falters for a moment and you nod, “yes?”

He grins at your expression and cups your cheek for a second, “If you need more, just tell me,” 

“I need more,” you sigh, and he nods with your words. 

He shifts a bit, and your hand pauses while he does, but when he’s done leaning forward he’s planted his knee between your thighs and pressed it into the shower wall and he taps his thigh, “Come right here,” 

It feels revealing, and so much more sensual of an act than anything you’ve done with him before, but he looks hungry and ready for you, so you slide forwards and settle down onto his thigh, dropping your hips comfortably until the pressure on your clit is just right. 

Mingi’s hand moves from your waist to your hip to cup your ass, and he presses your body up so that you’re forced to grind yourself on his wet skin. You moan softly, cursing and dropping your head low. 

“You’re so beautiful,” he murmurs, cupping your cheek and stroking your skin. 

“M-Mingi,” your body is hot and wet again, the pressure delicious and essential. 

“Don’t stop,” he urges you, “please,” 

Bracing yourself on his shoulder again, you start to roll your hips and start to work your hand over him again. He tenses his leg, changing the pressure between  your thighs and you groan against him, but you don’t stop your hand this time. You’re determined to make him come, after last time especially. You want to take care of him. 

“Baby,” he stutters, and you increase the pressure of your hand just a bit but keep steady on the pace that seems to make him tremble.

His hand on your backside helps you move, ensuring that he matches your pace well. You’re close again, and you know he is too when he grits his teeth and jerks his hips to thrust his cock into your hand. 

Your hand slips from his shoulder and drags along his chest, but when your fingers briefly catch on his nipple he pants and curses, his hand on your ass gripping down hard and his eyes blowing wide. You’ve got him now, knowing exactly what he needs, and you smile at him, leaning forwards immediately to kiss his chest before dropping your mouth to his erect nipple. 

“y/n,” he stammers, “fuck,” 

You hum against him, copying his movements from earlier and swirling your tongue before flicking it steadily, your hand never slowing on his cock. 

“God,” he stammers again, no longer focused on helping you come but fully focused on the pleasure you’re giving him. 

You speed up your hand, and when you deliver a firm suck to his nipple he chokes out a groan, his hips jerking. He moves you fast, pushing your hand away and wrapping his own around his cock to pump it fast and hard. When your mouth leaves him, mostly in surprise at the change of pace, he whines a little, “Don’t stop,” he begs you.

You drag your thumb over his wet nipple, flicking it steadily, and lean back to watch him, rolling your hips against his thigh some more. 

“Fuck,” his eyes lock shut and he collapses over you a little more, coming hot and fast over your belly and breasts. Thick ropes of his release paint your chest and you moan at the sight, holding onto his shoulder again for stability as pleasure bubbles again inside you. 

He’s panting, his brain buzzing as he blinks his eyes open and remembers where he is. When he sees you, rutting desperately on his thigh and falling apart against his skin he comes back to himself. Pushing forward he captures your lips, pressing you into a bruising kiss and returns his hand to your hips, helping drag you up and down his thigh. 

“Mingi,” you gasp against his mouth, “oh god, baby,” 

He doesn’t answer, but knocks you back into the wall with his lips on yours and drags his tongue along yours. You’re so close you can touch it, and with his mouth hot on yours and him helping you along, your body breaks apart in his hands. You come with a cry, your nails digging into his skin where you hold onto him to keep yourself up right, and your vision swims. 

His arms wrap around you, easing you off his leg despite the shaking aftershocks, and holds you warmly against his chest. His hand strokes a steady rhythm down your back. 

“Oh my god,” you sigh into his chest.

“I know,” he smiles. 

As you breathe against him, your senses come back to you and so does the sensation of the water, “Is it cold already?” 

“A little,” he straightens up and reaches back for the dial, turning up the heat, “we should hurry though, they’re going to be pissed if the water is ice cold,” 

You laugh, stepping away from him and recovering, smoothing your hair away from your face, “Okay, yeah, you’re right,” 

You wash quickly, Mingi pouring far too much body wash on you just to have another excuse to fondle you, but it’s welcome, wanted, and you flick him back with water and suds. By the time you get out, the water is too cold for anyone else to use. Mingi wraps you up in a towel and you squeeze the excess water out of your hair before he kisses you softly and brushes through it with his fingers. 

He slips out first, disappearing into his bedroom, and then it’s up to you. 

Thankfully the hallway is empty when you finally recover yourself. You quietly pad out of the bathroom, towel wrapped around you and damp hair clinging to your back. It’s still early, still quiet, and though you can hear some of their alarms going off it seems like for now you’re in the clear. 

With a sigh you head for the kitchen, legs still feeling like jelly after your encounter with Mingi in the bathroom, and you pull open the fridge to search for a water bottle. The cold air hits you and raises all the little hairs up on your body and you shiver, before grabbing a bottle and shutting the fridge. 

“Damn,” Wooyoung’s husky voice shocks you and you turn. You are clearly the first person he’s spoken to so far today and he blinks hard, clearing his throat. 

He’s wearing nothing but his boxers, and your mouth runs dry again. It makes no sense. For years you were capable of going weeks without sex, without anything, but give it a few weeks with these men and suddenly you’ve become a different person. 

“Hey,” you sigh, “you scared me,” 

“Uh huh,” his eyes flick over you, “that towel is too small,” 

“Please,” you roll your eyes and lean against the counter behind you, “it’s the same size towel you all use. You’re just incorrigible,” 

“It looks smaller on you somehow,” he smirks, “it’s kind of indecent,” 

“Woo,” you shake your head, but your core pulses at the way he’s staring at you. 

“You know it’s been… too long since I’ve touched you,” he glances up, thinking back, “weeks?” 

“You touch me everyday,” you smile, “I can hardly shake you off half the time.” 

He takes a step forward, biting his lip, “That’s not what I meant,” 

“I’m not the one who’s been so busy,” you note, “and then exhausted when you’re not busy.” 

He grins suddenly and leans in, caging you with an arm on either side of you, “Oh my god,” he says, his smile like he’s found out a secret, “you’re such a mess right now,” 

“What?” Your voice is small, breathy at the way he’s crowding your space, his bare chest so close. 

“We’ve been too busy,” he leans down close, “and you’re all pent up. I can tell,” 

“Tell how?” You shouldn’t really have said it, every time you banter with him he eats it up like foreplay, and he chuckles. 

“You’re blushing,” he smirks, and then he moves. His hand slides through the part in the towel and he pushes it out of the way with ease, finding your slick folds without breaking his eyes from yours and he rocks his fingers along your clit twice before pushing them deep inside you. 

The sound that leaves you is stammered and flustered and it only makes him more self satisfied. 

“Other people are home, Woo,” you manage, but you don’t sound confident in your words. 

He steps closer, massaging your clit and you feel his hardness against your thigh. “I really don’t care,” he says, “I’m just proving a point,” 

You swallow back a moan and you’re about to ask what he means when his fingers slide off you and he takes a step back. You collapse a little on the counter, and he bites his lips when he sees the way your legs are trembling. “What the fuck?” you breathe. 

“I have to go,” he shrugs, “but it looks like I was right. We’re all painfully hard up,” 

“You are so fucking mean,” you shake your head, laughing a little, “I cannot believe you,” 

His face softens for a minute, “I’m sorry, I was just playing around. You know I’ll more than make it up to you later,” 

Your muscles clench around nothing and he watches carefully as your hips shift. You swallow tight and meet his eyes, “Promise?” 

“Mhm,” he smiles, “promise,” 

“Morning!” Yunho’s voice from the living room startles you both and you straighten up off the counter and smooth your expression before he can see you. Wooyoung turns towards the island, concealing his hard cock and turning immediately casual and cool. 

“Hey,” Wooyoung says, “when are we leaving again?” 

“Fifteen,” he replies, “and then everyone else meets us in forty-five.” 

“Got it,” 

Yunho catches sight of you and smiles, “Morning, pretty,” 

“Hey,” you tuck your arms down over the top of your robe to ensure it stays snugly in place and give him a smile back. Wooyoung rolls his eyes over Yunho’s shoulder and jogs off down the hall. 

“You’re up early,” he comments, reaching for the coffee grounds. 

“Couldn’t sleep,” you reply, “I figured I’d get ready before you all took all the hot water,” 

“Ah,” he smiles, “good plan.” 

“You feeling good for today?” You know they have a long day ahead - filming content for their next comeback which means they’ll be busy wall to wall for twelve plus hours.

“Yeah,” he nods, “better than yesterday.” 

You smooth a hand down his back, settling it over the spot that was paining him yesterday, where you know he’s still wrapped up with KT Tape, “This isn’t so bad, then?” 

He shakes his head, “Better after some sleep,”

“Good,” you lean forward to kiss his shoulder quickly and move to step away but he catches your forearm in his hand. 

“Hey,” he says, “come here for a sec,” 

You swear if he touches you, that will be it. You’d just have to make him late. “What’s up?” You let him pull you back into his chest. 

“I’m missing you,” he says, crouching a bit so he can kiss you. He sighs softly against your lips and holds you close, and the kiss is tender, much less laden with fervent innuendo than you expected. 

“Me too,” you peck his lips as you pull away. 

“If you’re still up later,” he smiles, “can I come bother you?” 

“When do you get back?” You ask. 

“Maybe around 1?” He grimaces, “I know that’s late, if it’s too late don’t worry.” 

It would be worth it just to see him for a little while, so you nod, “If I’m asleep just wake me up,” 

He kisses you again and squeezes your arm, “I’m not going to wake you, I don’t want to disturb your sleep,” 

“Yunho,” you roll your eyes and nudge him, “wake me up anyways. Even if we’re both too tired, I’d like to see you… we can just sleep if you want,” 

“Perfect,” he murmurs, “then I’ll see you tonight,” 

“Tonight,” you nod, and watch as jogs out of the kitchen, rushing a little extra now to make it on time. 

It’s still a little early for you, so you can take your time getting ready. You make a cup of coffee and head back to your bedroom, ready to pick out an outfit for the day. 

You sift through your closet, checking the weather and sighing when you see signs of rain. 

The first half of the boys leave, piling into one of their managers cars to go get their makeup and hair done first. The short straws as it were. You can hear the others banging around in the dorm, shower turning off and on, shouted questions at each other to get ready. 

You lay out an outfit for yourself and start to unwrap the towel from around you. 

The sound of your sliding door draws your attention and you wrap the towel back around yourself, holding it closed at the top. San steps in and slides the door shut behind him. He looks handsome, a little more well rested than the past few days and dressed casually in black pants, boots, and a black t-shirt. 

“Hey, baby,” you smile, “you getting ready to go?”

“Soon,” he nods, “I just wanted to say goodbye, I missed you the past couple of days,” 

“Everybody’s missing me,” you laugh, reaching out a hand for him. 

“Mm,” he nods, “whenever we hit a lot of filming it gets like this for a bit. It’ll go back to normal soon,” 

“I know,” you assure him, “I knew it would be like this when we started dating, but I still miss you all when you’re gone for so long.” 

He pulls you towards him, wrapping you in his arms, smiling down at you, his eyes crinkled in just the way you like, “Is that right, jagi?” 

“Don’t tease,” you say, “I’m allowed to miss my boyfriends,” 

“I love when you call us that,” he squeezes you. 

You shift in his arms and the towel that you so carefully pinned under your arms loosens with the way you’re held against him. It’s caught between your bodies so it doesn’t fully fall to the floor, but the way that it loosens and drops is unmistakable. 

“Oh,” he gathers the towel and rights it, “sorry, jagi,” 

You shake your head, brushing off his unnecessary apologies and reach for the top of the towel yourself, but he doesn’t move his own hands. 

“San?” He looks suddenly far away. 

His eyes move down over your body, and he slides the towel away from one of your breasts, then the other, revealing your still pebbled nipples and sending a rush of blush up your chest. You glance down, and it’s suddenly very apparent how hard he is even through his pants. 

San tosses the towel away, descending on you quickly and pushing you both back down on the bed. He pushes your thighs open as he kisses you hard, and you feel his hand between you fumbling for his belt buckle. You moan against his mouth when he finally gets free and shucks off his pants, you suddenly feel nothing but his hard cock pressed against your wet mound. 

“I missed you,” he says, reaching between you, checking to see how wet you are and groaning when he finds you slick and wanting. 

You make a soft pleased sound at the feeling of his hands on you. It’s like they all knew what you had been fantasizing about in the shower, the way your mind couldn’t keep off any one of them, and now they all want to pull you apart. 

San sighs, and in one fluid move he thrusts his cock deep inside you. “I missed your cunt, jagiya,” 

Your walls clench around him at his words, your head back and eyes shut, a tight groan on your lips, “Fuck, Sannie,” 

He drags out of you, halfway, and then sinks back in with a pointed snap of his hips, “I missed the pretty noises you make,” he tweaks your nipple and you shudder under him. 

He thrusts again and your eyes flutter open, “San,” you catch his attention, “do we even have time for this?” 

He brushes your cheek, and leans his weight on the bed to check his watch, “Nine minutes,” he says. 

“Not a lot of time,” You murmur, but you’re still hooking your legs over his hips and drawing him in deeper. 

He smirks, “If I can’t make you come in nine minutes, I don’t deserve to be inside you now,” Your hips jerk against him and he smiles again, “What’s got my girl so needy today?” 

He’s holding still on purpose, you know it, but it doesn’t make your legs tremble any less and the pressure of his hips locked down over your clit any less intense. You huff under him softly, “You know why,” 

“Mm,” he kisses along your jaw, his hips still unmoving, “tell me anyways,” 

You swallow hard and draw him closer with your arms around his shoulders, “Fine,” you roll your hips into him, “No one’s touched me in weeks,” 

“Touched you, or fucked you?” He slides a hand into your hair. 

His eyes are intense now, and if it’s possible you’d swear that you can feel him growing harder inside of you. At least a minute, maybe two, have passed since he checked the time and you know you don’t have much longer. With another roll of your hips you beg him, “Fucked me, so please, don’t make me wait anymore,” 

He sighs above you, tight and controlled, but your words send him over and the hand in your hair tightens on your scalp pleasantly. He hooks his other hand under your thigh, pushing it down towards the mattress and holding you open wide. You hook your own arm around your other leg and drag it back, and the full tilted position of your hips and San starting to drive into you from above has you panting beneath him. 

The feeling is intense, filling and warm, and he smiles when he looks between you and sees his cock pushing into you. 

“Harder,” you whisper, and his eyes flick up to your face. 

He pulls back completely, and then sinks in again, each time he meets your hips now a sharp connecting thrust that rocks his cock perfectly over every aching spot you have. 

He drops over you more, his body pressed against you and putting pressure on you in the position but you want him closer, deeper, more completely surrounding you and you moan into his mouth, whispering and begging all the while. 

“Close?” He pants in your ear, his fingers gripping you with intensity. 

“Just don’t stop,” you cling to him, “Sannie, I’m,” 

“I need you to come,” he drives down, his thrusts firm and you can’t do anything but hang onto him and hold yourself open. 

His hand slips down the back of your thigh, and at the slight additional push back of your hips you see stars, and you swallow back your moan, releasing hard and silently against him, your body trembling in his hands. 

“God,” he chokes, “you’re so tight,” 

“Baby,” you whine, dragging his hips into you, your head still spinning, “come,” 

Your leg slips from his hand and he collapses over you, his pace no longer measured for your pleasure but desperate and quick. He drops his head against yours, working himself inside you, and finally releases with a muffled groan. His hips stutter as he slows, and he mutters against you, kisses all along your hairline. 

“God,” he sighs again, a wide grin on his face as he looks at you. 

You giggle, “I’m going to have to get another shower,” 

“Sorry,” he pecks your lips. 

“How late are you?” You scramble to look at his watch. 

He sees the time and shakes his head, “I’ve got two minutes, but that means I have to go,” 

“Okay,” you crane up, kissing him and stroking his jaw. 

He pulls out of you with a sigh, and quickly cleans himself up before righting his pants and dragging a hand through his hair, “I hate to just leave,” 

“I’m good,” you assure him. 

“No,” he smiles, “but I just want to cuddle up with you now,”

“Mm,” you sigh, wrapping the towel around yourself again, “I wish we could, but you have a busy day,” 

“I know,” he checks his watch again, “that is starting right about now. Alright,” he kisses you once more and takes a step back, “Have a good day, jagi,” 

“You too,” you murmur, “be safe.” 

He smiles, hand on his chest as he backs out of your room, a heavy sigh on his lips. 

The second wave of the boys leave soon after, running for the door and then in moments, you’re back in silence.

You sit alone in the apartment for a little while longer, the morning a bit of a whirlwind. You’re about to get up and make yourself some coffee when your phone dings sharply and you reach for it. The ever busy group chat has a message from Hongjoong. 

In the future can we please be more aware of using all the hot water in the morning?

Your hand flies over your mouth and you stare at the chat, not sure how to respond. 

sorry, that’s on me. will do next time. - Mingi’s text appears. 

Wooyoung can’t help but respond with - lol 

You wonder if he heard you and Mingi this morning, or saw him leaving the bathroom, and chose his moment in the kitchen to torture you. 

You tap out a quick text before tapping your phone aside - have a safe shoot! hwaighting! 

You spend some time finishing your morning routine, your phone lying forgotten on the bed for a while, but on your way out the door you grab it as you rush to meet one of their managers for a ride into work. You finally check it when you’re in the backseat and have a moment of peace before the work day begins. 

You have a text from Yeosang, but when you open it, you realize it’s not in the group chat where it normally would be, and instead he sent it directly to you alone. 

didn’t see you this morning- i hope you have a good day at work and you’re well - he says. 

Quickly you respond, seeing that his text was from twenty minutes ago - i am, i hope you are too. x

i’ll be thinking of you today - Something about imagining that in his voice makes your gut tighten. 

will you? - You tap back. 

i’ll have trouble thinking of anything else. i didn’t get to kiss you this morning. - Unconsciously, you cross your legs. 

you’ll have to make it up to me tomorrow then. - You smile to yourself as you respond. 

then i hope you’re wearing something pretty for me today. - Your lips part as you read his message, a soft inhale of breath. 

It takes you a moment to respond, your brain jumping from thought to thought, but after a moment you reply - im always wearing something pretty for my boys 

The car feels suddenly warm and you put the phone away to get some calm clarity, taking a sip of your coffee and trying to remember that you have important things at work to do today. Your brain can’t just be full of them. When the car finally slides to a stop in the KQ garage, you thank their manager and gather your things. As you check your phone once more, you see another message from Yeosang. 

we’ll have to find something that’s just for me then. 

Now there’s no chance that you won’t spend the rest of your day thinking of him too.