Sleepy Thoughts

People can do this thing where they pay to smell like milkshake, and it was particularly popular among brides

I'm getting a craving to use the big knife

People pay to put on a farmer's hat, sit on a stool and rub a cow's hide and it is said to evoke good memories

"I am as fit as a duck on fire."

I tell somebody that "I got them as a surprise for that courgette"

A lion sitting under a tree vomits up a brown scarf. 

I was given £250 towards my emergency pigeon fund

If that was my hoover it would have dogs in it.

Whilst looking at some artwork in an exhibition, the artist explains to his audience; "You see, Professor bubblegum is being quite rude. He is having a shave instead of answering to the cries of the woman on the bicycle"