Resisting Resisting
Sara realized she had made a mistake.
She had told him that she really wanted to fight going into trance. And it was true that it felt so much better and she went so much deeper when she tried to resist him. That feeling of being beaten, of having her will dominated by the irresistible hypnotist who slowly, methodically stripped away her defenses. It was intoxicating. But he always had a way of manipulating Sara's desires. Of using them to train her. To form her into exactly what he wanted her to be. And he wanted her compliant. He wanted her eager. And so he let her fight in the way he allowed.
Sara was getting ready to start, steeling herself to put up a good, if hopeless, fight, when he grabbed her suddenly commanding her to drop deep. Holding her gently he began to move her body in small circles as his voice droned into her suggestible mind. They had developed such a deep rapport, he had so many triggers, and she had been conditioned to so much of what he was doing. His choice of words, his tone, even the way he touched her. Sara couldn't form the thought of resisting. She fell. Following his voice deeper and deeper, her thoughts fading away to nothing. There was only his voice and how good it felt to follow and how good it felt to give in...
And then she was up, staring into his eyes as he smiled at her. She opened her mouth to speak, to ask, but he spoke first. "Are you ready to resist?"
She paused for a moment, confused momentarily by the question. She was about to answer in the affirmative when another rapid pull on her arm and his sharp command, "Sleep!" sent her right back down.
Faster and deeper Sara melted away this time. Nothing prevented her from letting go completely as his voice urged her on. She was swallowed up by the wonderful serenity of trance, feeling her mind conform to that space, her familiar desires returning. Desires to surrender. To do as she was told. To slee-
Back up, Sara's eyes unable to look away from his. He held her gaze for a moment, letting her relish the feeling of his control. Of her helplessness. He smiled again. Gentle and warm. Inviting. The moment lingered and just when Sara was about to speak, "Sleep!" down she went again.
Down and up and down again he pulled her. Trance felt so wonderful every time he allowed it, and she felt less and less lucid every time he brought her back up. Even when she was awake, her thoughts felt slow. Jumbled. Her mind cried out for his guidance, for the structure he gave her.
Sara didn't know if she was up or down when he told her what was going to happen. "It's time to be a good girl and fight now, pet. Time for you to resist going into trance as much as you possibly can. You know you can't resist my suggestions. You know all you want to do in this space is to obey. And so you will. You will do as you are told and resist going into trance with every ounce of your strength. Until your will shatters and you succumb completely. Whether you want to or not. Coming back up for me now, following my words and my suggestions..."
He continued to bring her up, but Sara's thoughts were completely focused on the suggestion - the command - she had been given. She had to fight it now? Her mind already so melted and feeling her most submissive? When all she wanted to do was surrender and do whatever she was told? But she did have to do whatever she was told. She would obey. She could not resist.
And so Sara fought. She knew that even with his command bolstering her resistance, he could switch her off with a snap of his fingers if he chose to. But he took his time instead, speaking to her slowly guiding her thoughts lazily back toward trance. It felt so good to listen. It was so easy to follow along. How desperately she wanted him to claim her mind. How eagerly she would follow. But she resisted. Her mind warring with itself. And his words just made it harder.
"You are doing so well, keeping yourself up for me. I know how intoxicating my voice feels to you. How you've been trained in session after session to respond to it. How certain words automatically send you spiraling down. And you want so badly to sleep for me, don't you? To get to be my blank, mindless plaything again. But you are so obedient that you know you can't drop just yet. It is so much more important to do as you are told, even as your thoughts start to fail. Because so much of your energy, so much of your willpower has to be devoted to keeping yourself awake. To being so submissive and obedient. Even as my words coax more and more of your thoughts away. Even as they wear away your will..."
Sara needed to obey. She needed to be commanded. If she could relax for just a moment, that's all he would need. Just a moment's weakness and he would have her. She knew how easily she could be ensnared. How good it would feel. But his control over her mind wouldn't allow it. She had to keep fighting. She couldn't slip down and let herself feel so blank and obedient...because she needed to obey...she had to fight him...because she couldn't resist...
"And that just makes it harder and harder to think of anything at all. It was so much easier when you couldn't resist. You feel so much better when you can't resist, when I don't allow you to think about fighting. But you can feel yourself being broken. Feel the cracks at the edge of your awareness. All those little weaknesses showing through. And when you are broken, you drop so much deeper for me. There is nothing left to support your conscious, independent mind. When I break you, you are mine completely. And that's why you have no choice. That's why you have to resist. So that you lose all your resistance."
Sara needed to drop so badly now. She became aware that her eyes had been locked on his since they began. Even compelled to resist him, she couldn't think of looking away. She couldn't blink. Blinking would suggest sleep. Sleep would suggest surrender. And she had to fight. Tears were forming in her tired eyes. It was so hard to think on her own. He was speaking. She could just listen to his words. Let his words become her thoughts. His words were her thoughts.
She needed to resist. She needed to obey. Resistance meant obedience, and obedience meant pleasure. His eyes. It felt so good to lose herself in his eyes. She wanted to lose. She wanted to break for him. Sara needed him to break her. Break her mind. Break her will. She needed to listen. She didn't need to think. She needed to obey. She couldn't resist. She had to resist. She had to do what she was told. She was a good girl. Good girls obey. Good girls do as they are told. He told her to resist. She couldn't resist him. It was so hard to think. It was so easy to surrender. To blink, if only for a moment. Then she could lose. Then she couldn't fight anymore. If only she could give in. She wanted to give in. Wanted to give her mind to him completely, to let him be in control of her every thought. Every decision. But she had to fight. She had to resist because he commanded it. And he controlled her every thought. Her every decision...How could she resist him when it was him that made her resist? How could she think if he controlled her thoughts and commanded her to think. How could she think....how could she...thi...
Sara's eyes fluttered, still unable to close. Her mind shut down. Everything froze. Her mind cracked open. He spoke:
"You are broken."
"I am broken," Sara echoed. And she was.
"I control your resistance."
"You control my resistance." And he did.
"You cannot resist."
"I cannot resist." And she couldn't.
"You will not resist."
"I will not resist."
And she didn't
