Post of a twitter thread I did about Mikoto cuz I'm annoying about it
I'm gonna say somethin a lil controversial. I think Mikoto Kayano's story is about how child abuse that isn't obvious to other people is invisible and treated as if it never happened, despite evidence (Mikoto's literal disorder) that it did.
I'm going to be saying a lot of things that I've seen on Tumblr blogs from pwDID who enjoyed Mikoto's writing. Just, for the record, I had help forming these opinions by reading the opinions of people who would be effected by shit rep.
Mikoto is someone whose life and background is largely unimportant to MILGRAM because, as an examination of the justice system, I believe Mikoto's story is meant to be examining post-crime diagnosis.
"How is Mikoto's background unimportant to MILGRAM?" Because MILGRAM's after-song notes are attempting to be a nonbiased prosecution and failing spectacularly. Because the prosecution is biased by its nature. The prosecution wants us to judge harshly.
That isn't to say that what Mikoto did magically isn't bad just because the notes are biased against him. Killing 12 people is still killing 12 people. But I feel like the attempts to rip the diagnosis away from Mikoto is misunderstanding things a bit.
From what I've seen, a lot of people on Tumblr who enjoy analyzing Mikoto's story have posited the idea that he'd always had DID, and he simply was diagnosed within the prison because the situation seemed to call for it, for both Es and Kotoko.
Further, if Es wasn't outright abusing Mikoto during Trial 1, we would've never even met John. Mikoto switches and lashes out at an abuser and that is when the idea of diagnosing him with something and presenting him to the viewers as a rep for DID is presented by Kotoko herself.
With Mikoto having had DID for likely most of his life before splitting off John, he probably genuinely had symptoms that didn't disrupt his life too much… until he was abused heavily at his job and split off someone who could do the things Mikoto can't.
I think that presuming the story is that Mikoto magically spawned the disorder after working an abusive job is a little bit reductive. Further, assuming the report's description of events is 100% accurate despite other reports' issues is a little strange as a move for this story.
There is no mention of Yuno's extremely obvious motivations for climbing up that abandoned building alone, when it comes to her song Life. She may have fainted, but she had other intentions as well.
If you can't account for the report not mentioning that Yuno may have been attempting suicide, why do we suddenly fully trust when the report of a man with a trauma-borne disorder says he grew up just fine?
Now, it's easy to point to Amane and Haruka's reports to state that their cases of abuse were plainly spoken. However, I'll go back to my thesis for this: Mikoto's abuse was invisible, therefore it didn't matter to the report.
Amane's abuse situation literally directly led into what she did that day. It is woven into the very fabric of her birth and raising, it cannot be ignored for a case, so it must be mentioned.
Haruka's abuse situation was also not made invisible, because he repeatedly lashed out in direct response to it in ways that couldn't be ignored. Matter of fact, his entire purpose was to go unignored. And unignored he went.
But when it comes to abuse situations where a child must be quiet, must be well-behaved, must be a perfect role model, must fit the mold through which others may be inspired to be like them…
That child will scream silently, and go unheard. Because their role requires obedience, good behavior, and an overall quietness that will never shatter. The report saying he grew up in an average household doesn't mean he wasn't abused.
There are more methods of abuse than physical violence, and more methods of control than threats. Sometimes it's a parent deciding they don't want to be one anymore, and telling their child to pick up their slack.
I feel like brushing off Mikoto's story because of the kneejerk reaction to an obviously misleading report has unfortunate implications.
There are many, many people who have lived lives where their child abuse was invisible, untraceable, but still happening. It happened to me and I suspect that it happened to Mikoto.
Just because a child isn't actively lashing out and making their pain other people's notice doesn't mean their pain never happened. There are children who are tasked with minimizing the problems in their parents' lives, and live up to that expectation dutifully.
There are many things normalized in parenting that can damage children. Ignoring your child's autonomy and wants, treating them as if they're less important, treating them as objects or extensions of oneself, etc., etc…
I think that "normal middle-class family" doesn't mean Mikoto never was traumatized, I think it just means that his trauma came in a form that his community didn't notice or even normalized. Nothing to report if you just see a friendly, well-behaved kid doing chores.
Mikoto was a good kid with lots of friends and that's all there is. Don't address the man behind the curtain. Don't address the themes of abandonment, or the constant people-pleasing, or any other signs of childhood trauma.
If you felt your father left you behind because you weren't good enough, I feel like it's a natural conclusion to come to as a child to feel like you need to work your ass off for everyone in your life. Neglect is abuse. Parentification is abuse.
I think Mikoto was a pwDID living under the radar, all parts devoted to appearing "normal", until John split from Mikoto's abusive work environment and worked off all the frustration Mikoto refused to acknowledge. Was it healthy? No. Was it genuine? I think so.
