the balance book by coldmackerel
josh keeps a totally manly diary, everyone learns some things, and everyone pays a price. a story about the comedic undertones of some distinctly not funny things.
The Best Josh fic out there. That's it. That's the rec. (And yes, it's a jossam fic. Fuck yeah.)
Jokes aside. This fic, the way it's written? It's like peeking inside josh's mind. Cause YES, Josh is extremely tragic as a character, and definitely depressed and suicidal and self-destructive and whatever. Tragic. But also. Extremely silly. That man will not have a single serious thought and hides behind humor for EVERYTHING. And in this story you see it so WELL. You see his struggles and his hate for himself and every little negative emotion through jokes and jokes and jokes. He wants to die and thinks he deserves it? You see it in a joke. Fuck, he literally gets punched like a pignata and still, jokes about it in a self deprecating way. It's hilarious, and pathetic. Which he would approve of as a description of himself. My poor little loser, I love his so much.
And the humor is accompanied by deep moments between the character and you see him actually learn how to be better, and slowly give himself some peace. The lessons that he writes in his 'manly diary' are the best part of all of it.
coldmackerel, if you see this, I hope you're very loved, you're life filled with laughter, and might your pillow always be cold.
(and jokes of all jokes, cause I find it weirdly fitting, I'm listening to "stop crying your heart out" by Oasis while writing this. Josh, that's exactly what you should do dude. To every josh out there, this song is for you my dudes)
romaincrisis
amandla
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