Million Writes to Manifest

I was born free, until humans got a hold of me, but my spirit is louder than your words, not a sound that's necessarily heard, but felt #bornfree

There was once a girl, who seemed content enough.  From the outside looking in, she was just fine, in fact.  She completed her graduate program with all A's, was what most would call beautiful, and had a loving boyfriend. But underneath the surface, she was brimming with restlessness, a need for purpose devoured her.  She was attempting to come to grips with the realities of abuse she faced throughout her childhood, and looking to overcome the effects of that trauma on her life.   She found it hard to believe that she was currently in the employment she was in, a job that did not satisfy her craving for freedom and art and humanity and spiritual awakening.   Also, the man that she has been with for the past 5 years seems to be taking her in circles.  There is real love there, no doubt, and a genuine friendship, yet their understandings of the world are fundamentally different, and she cringes at the idea of having to extinguish her flame for life in order to live as is expected.  To be a dutiful wife and mother, with no identity of her own beyond that of the family they create together. You see, growing up, this girl became enlivened with stories of freedom fighters and revolutionaries, enthralled by kind hearted yet brave individuals who fought to rectify the world of injustice, who sang a song of God and who had the well being of the people in mind.   Then one day, she met a man who carried the same vision for a better world, and people's place in creating in.  She fell in love with him, and he with her, or so it seemed.  But after a short-lived romance, he left her.  With no trace of love, or compassion, or friendship at all.  And she was left to ponder if the dream for a better world, and her place in manifesting it, was actually trifle.   Yet, when she closes her eyes, or when she listens to her soul, she knows that she yearns for nothing more than justice, than fighting for the rights of humans and living things and the earth.  Of vanquishing power from the hands of the most greedy and showering it onto the world.  Of being part of a group or collective, that fought for these things free of ego or selfish motives. So she finds herself back in the relationship that offers a future and family, yet she is looking to run in another direction all together.  Because she is pained by the job she clocks in and out of everyday, as it is part of the plan for the future they (he-her boyfriend) wants.  And he does not seem to mind that a part of herself feels like it is dying everyday, or that she is unhappy and not in tune with her highest self working the job that she does.  And that she would rather be in Africa, her dream all her life, and work in the community to play a part in developing the country she finds herself in.   And so she is left with a choice.  Either to continue on with what seems safe, or to run, run, run towards her dreams, even if she gets hurt attempting to chase them.