Milkman Magee

In my long hiatus away from my milk thoughts, I’m ashamed to say I really don’t drink milk anymore. I guess it was bound to happen some day. All good things must come to an end.

Here’s where things get tricky. I can drink milk whenever I want so it’s not necessarily the end you might have assumed. Long story short, I needed milk for a dope bolognese recipe the other day and I had some leftover. I drank it. So sue me!!! I had just eaten Takis and they were for real spicy. No regrets.

I'm back people. It's been too long.

It's been a rough few years away but a lot has been going on. I'll cut right to the chase. Turns out I was lactose intolerant. Have been for all these years, but I never noticed. I simply assumed I had a bad stomach or something and never made the connection.

Noticed I said was lactose intolerant. Not anymore baby. I'm back to my full potential and ready to serve all you milkies with the best milk tumblr around. Give me a few days to get my bearing straight and back on my feet. It'll be worth it.

I'd like to thank everyone who came out yesterday to take part in the Maola Meet & Greet. I was able to get a good feel for what the general public is interested in when buying their milk. A lot of the feedback I received was thatn families want to have Maola's tiny little milk cartons available in their homes, and not just at school. After all, milk is a great choice for an afternoon snack. 

Everyone will be happy to know that Maola has taken your requests and feedback to heart. They are now in the beginning stages of getting their much desired tiny milk cartons out into the mass market. The target date as of this afternoon is January 1, 2016. Calm down. I know that date seems like a long way away, but it's really not. A little over 5 years isn't that long. There's a lot of internal testing that has to go down and that's all they're telling me. 

Cheese is everything that is wrong with our society. What's so wrong with cheese? I'll tell you.

Cheese has been stealing all of Milk's special powers for years. Cheese claims these powers as it's own and makes itself out to be better than Milk, but it's all a lie. Simply put, cheese is a thief. Without Milk, cheese would be nothing.

And that's what cheese should be. Nothing.

I didn't really want to answer this question, but it's the only one in my inbox right now and I need to free up some space.

I was not deprived of milk as a child. I had all the milk I could dream of, if only I asked for it.

I have not, nor will I ever, try non-dairy milk alternatives.

Sure, you can say that these alternatives are healthier and cheaper than real milk, but that's just it. They're not real milk. I know what you're going to say. The milk we drink commercially isn't technically "real" milk either, but it's a lot closer to being real than these non-dairy alternatives.

I don't want to step on any toes, but if you claim to be a Milk lover/enthusiast and you're drinking a milk alternative, you've gone to the dark side and I don't know if I can save you.

Do black people like milk? Now I know how this question initially comes off, and I agree with all of you, this anonymous person is racist. Or this anonymous person is black and is testing my knowledge of black people, which is not very extensive. I will, however, answer to the best of my ability.

Based on personal experiences over the last 24 years, I would have to say that black people do, in fact, like milk. I won't go so far as to say that they love it, but they do like it. From kindergarten to high school, Milk was always the preferred beverage during lunch for everyone I knew.

Always in those cute little cartons. Whether it was 2%, 1% or chocolate, everyone drank milk. Whites and blacks together, drinking milk and having a good time. This fact proves that black people do like milk. Case closed.

Somewhere in the middle. If I were honest with myself I'd say you have to go with whole milk to get as close to the original as possible, without of course, drinking unpasteurized milk. But I like a nice 1% milk to go with cereal or coffee in a pinch. Daily drinking, if I could get a 1.5% or 1.625%, that'd be great. 

Due to the lack of response from all of my facebook "friends," the Milk Makers have decided I'm not the right man for the job. I really appreciate all of you out there doing absolutely nothing to forward the progress of Milk. All you had to do was tell me your thoughts on Milk. You could have just said, "I like Milk!" That would have been fine. They would have accepted that.

And what do I get from you guys? Blank stares. Pitiful.