Milazdiary

Why YOur frIENDs Aren’t TELling you ThiER SeCrets anyMOrE…

1.

Your friends aren’t telling you their secrets anymore simply because they are telling someone else!

Yes, you’re still a good friend, and yes you are still their very close friend…well, maybe not as close as last night😬 as they’ve found another ears to take in all of their episodes, and that person has sure been doing a hell of a good work retaining his job…

Listen, stop beating yourself about…

Let’s define a bad day…

A bad day is when you live in Lagos and you are stuck in a ‘six to six’ friday traffic and there’s absolutely nothing you can do about it. So it’s 7:58pmand everyone is retiring to their various destinations, and you are stuck in this heart wrecking traffic (those types that serves you enough time to think about the failures in your life) and all you can wish for is…

Congrats to those who still map out ‘new year resolutions’, the world will be a safe place with you in it, and to those who do not… FUCK THE RESOLUTION SHIT! I won’t tell!

Well just in case you’ll be needing a ruler to straighten out your lines and underline your goals, here’s some deep reality check you shouldn’t miss out this year. You’re welcome!

First rule, WORK ON YOUR DAMN SELF!

Still…

HAPPY NEW YEAR – THE TREND.

Happy new year!

Phones develop a life of their own but hold up on complaining about all the million text messages and missed calls that will possibly never be replied, intruding into their almost quiet lives. Suddenly, enemies are back to being friends and friends are getting more friends, the circle gets congested and heavily irritating. It’s a new year, we should all show love! Love starved…

CHRISTMAS, BOXING DAY AND THE NEXT DAY…

Fast forward to after the Christmas excitement and dragging yourself down wherever the boxing day leads you, then to the next day when you have exhausted half the ‘holiday cash’ and you are faced with where to go or what to do, well except for the party whoopers who always have some place to turn up and some extra cash to pay the boredom away.

So happy next day!

Funny how it’s not a festive…

WHAT I WANTED FOR CHRISTMAS…

If you’re reading this, it’s because you survived 359 days in 2019 and you’re probably thinking of where next to ‘turn up’ or what else to smuggle down your throat. However, I hope you’re having a FUN Christmas.

Merry Christmas!

Merry, is what I wanted for my Christmas and over time I realised that all of the wishes I got wasn’t the prayer that made the miracle, in fact, there was no miracle. I…

YOU’RE A DEVIL! YES, YOU!

Yes! I say with my almost-brown-if-not-already-brown thirty-one tooth that YOU ARE A FOOOUURKIIN DEVIL! 

YES you, blessed with a master’s degree in undressing a person’s soul with shrewd words and gestures, YOU ARE A GROWN DEVIL!

…and If you count me among, I will slap your devil…

You, with your bent face devoid of shape and form, calling other people ugly, YOU’RE A PREMATURE DEVIL!

Broke ass…

Yes! I dare to talk about what you’d never dare talk about, 😪r maybe you would (with your face twisted like a squashed egg, and your constant “iyama” chants…or not) Well, congrats to those who know everything about the word “masturbate”…and to those who doesn’t…you’re welcome👇🏼

  Really now…bash the bish🤣p?

Listen…

Masturbation is more dangerous habit than smoking.  – Amit Kumar

I’ve read a…

You never see the geeky crush who always say YES to you like a fool.

You never see that one shirt until there’s none left to wear.

You never see those disturbing calls until everyone decides to call someone else that’s not you.

You never see the best friend who isn’t best after all.

You never see that one loyal friend who you’ve placed behind the rest.

You never see the sibling who is everything…

WELCOME TO THE LOVE CORNER!

My stomach aches s😓 badly i couldn’t make it to church today. So if you do, please say a prayer for me.

Let’s get down to the business of today!

Anyone ever gave a triple thought about MARRIAGE? (Of course am referring to the singles🙄)

Not yet?!

Okay while you’re thinking about it, thing about this too👇🏽

First, he is Mr. Perfect and she is Miss. Everything…

In short…

  Okay maybe they don’t have wings☺

Listen…In all my eighty two years (yeah eighty two…izzit your age?) Well…in all those years, I’ve seen humans in their different forms and i can boldly say that there is a minimal number of them who is everything an angel (and i mean just 1% out of the total world population😁)

Truth is, the world is a better place because of them and no matter how much evil…

Yep! You heard me, LOVE YOURSELF!

So maybe you’d be giving me that !!!HAVE YOU BLOODY SEEN ME!!! look (well…n😑 i havEN’t!!!!)

Plus am not going to sugarcoat some funky “l🙄ve yourself sermon” and remind you how awesome you are, your commendable hidden personality (that will probably need to be seen with a microscope) blablabla…truth is you might just be the opposite.

Loving yourself doesn’t mean…

You know, there are more persons shut out from the world due to one breakdown or another. That’s suicide. Walking the earth without living. Then death…sad!

My face was already bloated from all the glorified pimples and rashes that could court a nineteen years old, but it glowed even brighter that day because we were joyously celebrating our tenth year anniversary. Quite pathetic!

I remember being extremely angry at no one in particular, i just wanted to be angry and so i journeyed to the bank to withdraw the last #2,000 I had in my account. 

The…

***

“I no fit sleep Musa, I fear sey my dreams go waka leave me too”, fifteen years old Aishat sobbed, her tiny hands holding the hem of her dress to serve as a shield against the blood sucking giant mosquitoes that hovered in the dark.

“You don start again! Wetin person like you wan dey dream about?”, the sullen-skinny-looking chap beside her spurned around to stare at her.

“Ooh Musa, you no go…

***

“I no fit sleep Musa, I fear sey my dreams go waka leave me too”, fifteen years old Aishat sobbed, her tiny hands holding the hem of her dress to serve as a shield against the blood sucking giant mosquitoes that hovered in the dark.

“You don start again! Wetin person like you wan dey dream about?”, the sullen-skinny-looking chap beside her spurned around to stare at her.

“Ooh Musa, you no go…

***

“I no fit sleep Musa, I fear sey my dreams go waka leave me too”, fifteen years old Aishat sobbed, her tiny hands holding the hem of her dress to serve as a shield against the blood sucking giant mosquitoes that hovered in the dark.

“You don start again! Wetin person like you wan dey dream about?”, the sullen-skinny-looking chap beside her spurned around to stare at her.

“Ooh Musa, you no go…