mila.

Lately, I’ve been noticing something about myself. The heart palpitations only happen when I’m in the office. Not at home.Not outside.Not during weekends. Only when I’m sitting at my desk at work. Especially when my manager is sitting directly opposite me. And honestly, I think that was the moment I realised this was no longer just stress. Trying While Falling Apart Quietly I can admit…

It took me awhile to get back to blogging. For the longest time, I kept opening this page, staring at the blinking cursor, and then closing it again because I simply did not know where to begin. How do you put grief into words when it feels too heavy even to carry in your own mind? But I’m here. Still trying.Still processing.Still learning how to exist after everything that has happened. The…

The Restlessness in My Chest There’s a restlessness living in my chest these days — a small storm that never fully breaks. I’ve been avoiding photos of my dad and my brother because every glance opens doors I’m not ready to walk through. One look and the memories pull me under, like a rip current I can’t fight. I look away. I tuck the grief back into its drawer. But it hums through my bones…

Nineteen. Old enough to be “an adult,” young enough to still be figuring out what that really means. For parents, it’s like walking a tightrope — half of you wants to keep holding their hand, the other half knows you need to step back, even if it hurts. I’m living in that tension with my 19-year-old daughter. She’s smart, capable, deeply loved… and completely lost. No direction, no motivation…

I always thought late periods were just a “teen thing.” You know, when your cycle is still trying to figure itself out. But here I am, in my 40s, 11 months postpartum, staring at my calendar and realising my period is now 24 days late — and no, it’s not pregnancy (I checked twice!). At first, I wasn’t too worried. A few days late? Normal. A week? Okay, maybe stress. Two weeks? This can’t be good…

Papa, not a day goes by that I don’t think of you. I miss your laughter… your quirky sense of humor… even the little quarrels we used to have. I miss watching you wobble around, you reaching out to the wall or the sofa so you won’t fall over – but still too stubborn to do something about it! Laughing at you with the same love and mischief you always sparked in us. I miss your cooking, the way…

One night while scrolling aimlessly on Tiktok, I somehow landed on Perimenopause Tiktok. I don’t know how I got there and how my algorithm was able to penetrate my brain to know that I was needing an answer to what was happening to me… after watching a particular post about perimenopause rage ( I didnt even know there was such a thing)… it hit me. This is what I am experiencing – perimenopause…

When Your Anniversary Doesn’t Go as Planned We celebrated our 10-year wedding anniversary this February. Can’t believe it’s been 10 years of marriage with him – it has really been through thick and thin. But the celebration this year was…. honestly? A bit of a letdown. I had clearly said I wanted a special dinner — something nice, planned by him for once. I didn’t want anything crazy. Just a…

Is there time to breathe?

I promised myself that I would post at least once a week, regardless of how busy I am. I have, unfortunately broke my own promise to myself. I have a crazy school schedule with back-to-back assignments and tests. I was also busy finalising the books for work. So many documents to submit, so many numbers to figure out. I shouldn’t even have to do it since it isn’t my job. I’m not even qualified to…

So far…

It’s 2am and my laptop decided to restart and successfully deleting my assignment because somehow or rather the autosave function failed me. So, I have to start from scratch again. Well, it gives me a reason to re-do everything from scratch, which is a good thing considering what I had originally was crap. I’ve got my #milacooksforyou IG page up and running. I haven’t really gotten the hang of…

What’s Up?

What does 2021 have in store for us? Well, it’s only the 7th day of the year and already there is – New strain of COVID-19 in SingaporeAmericans going wild over Trump having to end his PresidencyNew vaccine is out and our health minister says it comes from BananasAssignments are due, new assignments released And last but not least…. 5. Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are going down the road of…

As we sat for dinner, my dad reminded us all that it’s just two more days to the end of the year. So, I looked at my daughter and asked her – “What have you accomplished this year?” Unfortunately, she replied that she had not accomplished anything. She somehow had forgotten that she got through a whole year in a new school with no problems, scored straight A’s in her first semester despite being…

Don’t Just Do It, Win It!

I have assignments due and I am still not doing them yet. Why? Cos I have a three year old who wants all my attention whenever I am doing work. Not when I’m relaxing, or watching tv, or writing a post. No. Only when I’m doing work. It’s like he KNOWS it’s work so he needs to come and “help” me. I have 4 cartons for peppermint chocolate milk in my fridge because I thought the other 2 cartons had…

Are You Doing Ok?

I wish I had more energy to update this space on a regular basis. I had initially promised myself to post an entry at least twice a week. Then I got stuck with tests and assignments, financial year closing and tax reports. I ran out of juice. I know the year is coming to an end, and it’s at this time where people start making their resolutions, so here are mine. [Disclaimer: I HAVE NEVER MADE NEW…

Hey hey hey!! It’s December baby! I LOVE December cos the boss let’s us take leave anytime we want and we got nothing much to do so I can CHILL!!!

Term break is coming up too so there’s no school for 2 weeks for me soon! Though I need to use that time to finish my assignments… all due when school re-opens… bleargh.

I have a test on Thursday. Law of Tort. I am supposed to be studying…

I am so exhausted. Even if I get a good eight hours sleep, I still wake up exhausted.

I don’t want to cook anymore even though I used to love cooking. I can’t eat much anymore, but I’m hungry all the time. I drag my feet to the office every morning. Some mornings I just sit up in bed thinking of excuses to stay home. I just want to curl up under my comforter and stay in bed watching…

Till Death Do Us Part

It really amazes me how in this day and age there are so many girls just waiting for prince charming to come sweep them off their feet in the hopes of a happily ever after. If they’re not married by the time they graduate, they’re doomed for life. Marriage will complete their purpose and complete half their deen.

My dear ladies, marriage is not the answer to everything. In fact, it is the…