I have loved you since we were 18

this is literally an app that is supposed to have children track their food intake, and their energy output, every damn day, with the purpose of them losing weight. it does before and after photos, and uses this system that is a “stoplight system”, so bad foods are red, medium is yellow and good is green.

when you sign up you have to put in your goal and one of the choices is “to make my parents proud”.

this is basically an app designed to shame children, and indoctrinate eating disorders into them.

what the hell is wrong with people????!!!!

also, apparently oprah is supporting this shit so screw her.

instead of this 

cobra starship

neon trees

metro station

3OH3

taio cruz

owl city

far east movement

ne-yo

onerepublic

lady antebellum

shinedown

daughtry

the fray

kings of leon

theory of a deadman

skillet

rob thomas

Girl: “You glue them on.”

Dude 1: [very confused] “Why would you do that? I don’t glue mine on.”

Dude 2: [also confused] “Yeah, what the fuck?”

Girl: “Have you never heard of gluing them on?”

Dude 2: [incredulous] “No!”

Girl: “Watch this.” [she removes her eyelash]

Dude 1: [slightly panicked] “No, I- STOP.” 

Dude 2: [shocked gasp] [pause] [concerned] “Do you still have eyelashes?”

I was always kind of skeptical about Santa, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy, because visiting every kid in the world did not seem reasonable. But the pirates only visited me, so they were probably real.