Violet

then i think about 1d and how much they mean to me, how big of an impact they had in my life... they saved me. then i think about how all of liam's addictions and mental problems started while in the band. then i feel even more guilty.

i said to a friend "i don't know how the boys survived 1d", and now that statement is not true anymore. i wish he could have gotten better and dealt with all the damage he did to others.

i feel angry too... bc people will reduce everything to "he was good" or "he was bad", but it's way more complex than that. i once said people didn't want him to get better, it was way more entertaining for the outsiders to see him fall and break.

amidst all these mixed emotions is despair, i doubt people will learn from this, i know the press will have a feast, i know people will reduce liam to his death and his wrongdoings.