Made You Look

       “Love comes to die? That’s an awful thing to say considering. You want to ruin my career, Castro? I’d be out of business if everyone just decided to give up.” Couples therapy - this town seemed to need a lot of it. The stories she heard, the fights she saw, the amount of times she wanted to roll her eyes and scream WORK YOUR SHIT OUT. Then again, some couples were meant to go their separate ways, which is how she felt in regards to Miguel and his now ex-wife. Better off without, too much damage already done. When came his next words, Phoebe whipped her heard around to regard him, an incredulous laugh bubbling from her lips, “Stalking, me? Never. I’d never do such a thing, I’m just making sure everything’s alright in the love department. We can’t let love die… Plus, you wouldn’t let me end up on any list, now would you? You’d have my back.” She was just helping the community. “What are friends for?”

“I would suggest perhaps going into divorce -- especially in this town.” Everyone he knew was either divorced or was going through the process of it, so as he saw it she was really missing out on the jackpot that this town had to offer. As someone that had just managed to process his and see his wife leave the town without even a good bye he started to see what everyone else had. Perhaps this was him seeing the so called light at the end of the tunnel. Clearly, the two of them had been long over -- more like she was long gone and he had finally caught up. He nodded as he pinched his nose bridge as the smallest smile appeared on his face an instant reaction to her contagious laugh, “I wouldn’t do that. But perhaps there is a reason as to why cupid doesn’t run around naked with arrows anymore -- you need to work on your art if you want help love be alive in this town. -- have you already gotten lunch?” he figured being social was a start at the right direction after everything.

17 … First relationship?

Answered. 

18 … Last relationship?

Answered

19 … First time  you fell in love?

“I know people say you don’t know what love is when you’re young but I think it would be a disservice to my relationship to not call it what it was. I ended up being lucky to have experienced love in high school and created memories that will always have a special place in my heart. Was taught a lot of lessons with that relationship.”  

6 … Last thing you check on your phone at the end of the day?

“To see if it has enough battery? Not really a cell phone person. I tend to lose it more often than not.”

12 … Last crush?

“My wife -- ex wife.”

18 … Last relationship?

“My marriage that just ended a week ago.”

24 … Last broken bone?

“Had a hand fracture before I left the force -- “

30 … Last celebrity crush?

Already answered. 

11 … First crush?

“My first crush was Sadie, I can’t even remember her surname. We were in first grade and she decided to join us in the playground to play kickball. Had a nice kick. Sadly, her parents were military and she moved and I never got to see her again.”

23 … First broken bone?

“Going off the above, I ended up with a double compound leg fracture -- got to love soccer, what can I say? shit happens.”

30 … Last celebrity crush?

“I would have to go with Maite Perroni.”

39 … First time you lied?

“Does anyone actually remember this shit?”

34 … Last pet?

”Never been the type to own a animal. Just never been home long enough to get one. Maybe someday I’ll give in and get a turtle or a hedgehog. Something different and less needy than a dog but less demanding than a cat.”

17 … First relationship?

“Phoebe Chang. Wow -- that feels like a whole other life. It was high school, we were both young and those are memories that have always brought a smile to my face. Just a couple of kids being kids. Taking the world at a time. Things were simpler back then.”

          It was never going to be easy. Seeing him. Not now, and she feared that it never would be. And whilst initially he had avoided catching sight of her, far more interested in the bottles of wine as to why she was here, that hadn’t stopped her. “No, I don’t think so.” Not that she was aware of, but she’d just sent everything off that day, so she was sure that if that was the case, she’d hear soon enough. “I was just at home,” she begun, sliding her body against the side of the surface, resting there for a moment as she continued, “can we talk?” Noa finalised. Maybe she was wasting her time? Perhaps this was an accident waiting to happen? Either way, he was the only other person who knew first hand what she was going through right now. The loss of their marriage was significant, and even though they’d been seperated a while now, this felt different. They were about to severe all ties, in a very legal, and final way. “Just us.” The last thing she needed or wanted was anyone else running around, including the member of staff she’d just spoken to. However, she’d assumed he would be well on his way soon considering tonight seemed more about inventory than anything else, as evident by Miguel’s current actions.

He wondered how much time was going to be required to heal from this wound. Lately, it felt like he was just a fresh open wound and there was a daily salt thrown session in his life. Noa in front of him felt like they had reserved the entire salt jar today for this exact moment. “Did you get everything you needed?” In many ways, he had thrown up the white flag when he had signed the documents. Perhaps it was the small talk he had with his friends or maybe he had finally realized that he couldn’t keep living like this. He had to let go, even if it was the last thing that he had ever wanted to do. “Yeah, we can talk.” Not sure what there was left to talk about though. The attorneys had both figured out how to conclude their marriage, assets and debts had been divided and it was as if the two of them had never been a thing. You know, besides the hole in his heart but that too would be healed, at least he figured as much. “That it is. I don’t want them to still have a social life and not just be stuck here -- besides I’ve been told lately that i am not the best company to have.” Though he clearly was still attractive enough for females to throw flirty comments at him, most of them didn’t land and he was unaware of it till Julian pointed them out.  “What’s on your mind, Noa?” The thing was they had been best friends before they had dated -- and she would always be important to him. At this moment he was still in love with her but he had learned as of recently that love wasn’t the be-all. 

               Castro’s Tapas and Wine. Just the uttering of word nearly buckled Nadia’s knees. Since everything had come to light, the brunette had craved a drink more than she ever had in her entire life. Only to practically fiend for it following the pair of showdowns she’d had with Gabriel regarding her pregnancy and their relationship. The only reason she truly desired a drink was for the way it could offer some numbness to the heartache she’d been feeling, and for it’s ability to slow her thoughts. “I like it, has more authenticity than some fancy or gimmicky name.” There was a cousin in her family that had a Turkish café that opted to use the family surname in the title as well. “Why overcomplicate things, right?” A soft smile remained on her face as her dark eyes took him in observantly. The words he spoke felt so familiar to Nadia. It hadn’t been generational for her family in the same way, she could find herself relating regardless. “My sisters and I are first generation. My parents had moved stateside just before I was born for work and opportunities. Seems it’s working well for your family, at least with the restaurant.” It wasn’t something she readily shared given how many people weren’t all that accepting of what her families origins may have been. Ignorance run amok in the states — something Nadia was sure he’d dealt with on his own more than he’d likely desire to admit. 

               As he continued to hold her hand, the brunette’s smile grew and she gave his fingers a gentle squeeze as he warned her of his grumpiness. “We’re in a similar boat, I’m not the best company currently either. I don’t mind if we sit in silence, I would just prefer not to be alone.” The betrayal had still been ripping through her insides. Each time she let herself fall into her thoughts she’d be reminded of something else that should have been a red flag or a reason for doing better for herself. At this point she wasn’t sure if she was more angry at Gabriel or herself. It helps that I’m the boss. Nadia pulled in a deeply rooted sigh and released it, realizing how easily triggered she was by bosses understanding their power. Of course, Miguel meant it in a completely different way — Nadia was simply struggling. As someone who’d been a boss’s right hand for five tumultuous years she was all too aware of what a boss could get away with. “You seem like a hard worker,” she gestured to the fact that she had interrupted him in the midst of it, “so I have a feeling a little break is warranted.” One more squeeze and she released his hand, finding herself overwhelmed suddenly at a stranger’s kindness. These swinging hormones were going to the death of her. “Oh, what did you quit?” Curiosity often killed the cat where Nadia was concerned. “I, uhh, made the mistake of getting involved with my boss and things get really twisted and convoluted when you do that. He lied a lot and took advantage a lot.” Shoulder’s shrugged, only letting the tip of the iceberg show, thinking he seemed clever enough to maybe read a bit more into what had been implied. “I’m a bit feral right now, honestly. I not only threw hot coffee on my former boss, I also and slapped him the other day. So, it’s more like — do you feel comfortable giving me a ride?” The answer she gave had been to move closer to his truck, she was hungry enough not to care. Plus, he’d been nice and warm, and even if it were a façade Nadia hoped he’d murder her after she ate.

It was a rare occurrence to meet someone that understood the situation much less someone that lived it. “That is my mantra. Life is already complicated as is, it doesn’t need any more help from us.” When he had been younger he had entertained the idea of him becoming a chef for a couple of years but then decided that law enforcement was more of his style than behind the kitchen. Life had a funny way of taking you back where you belonged if you asked him. Because he had been put through his own personal hell and brought back to where it all had started. The simplicity of cooking for food and feeding others. Though there was a lot of healing left to do he knew that he had at least started, and that had to count for something. “Thanks, didn’t want to oversell it. The food speaks for itself you’ll be able to see soon. So you get it.” Once things started to get complicated and the ease of going back and forth became complicated, the Castros decided that for now, they would put roots down. “My sisters and I were aware of what our parents ended up giving up when they moved here and why. So we have tried our hardest to not be for waste. I think since we all -- managed to get what we wanted we figured it would be nice to give my parents their dream with the restaurant the least we could do considering how we didn’t make it easy for our mother at all,” but for legal reasons he had to be the one to be the face behind the establishment. “Seems like we both understand that.” 

With a laugh, Miguel shut his mouth shut and shook his head, “bad company does attract bad company, eh?” Little things here and there made his mother’s mantras sound louder in the back of his head, he didn’t even know why that was the case. Perhaps he was mourning the different chapters he was navigating through at the moment. “That I can do. Though I should put this out there -- I have heard that talking with a stranger is the best thing to do because you’ll never see them again. Never put it into a test but just heard about it.” His mouth lifted into a genuine smile. It was not hard to notice that she was going through her own struggles. Just standing beside her and catching on her a thing here and there he was able to pick up that her mind was troubled and that she had something to work through. He fully understood not wanting to share though, after all, was him. The male held a golden ticket to any therapist in town and he refused to cash it in. With his sister’s murder, his best friend's betrayal, walking away from his career and his marriage coming to an end -- he knew very well how it was to not want to talk about it. His mother managed to get inside but was quickly escorted out of these thoughts. Miguel paused perhaps a little too long to try and read the mood that was being built between the two of them. “I wasn’t handling a death too well,” it wasn’t a lie. He just didn’t want to talk about Jo. Not to anyone. “Started to affect my job and so I decided to remove myself before I did something too permanent.” He explained before hearing her story out as he pulled his keys out, “I don’t see where you went wrong at all in that if I am honest. Just don’t throw coffee at me -- I already been there and done that. Not an experience I wish to experience again.” he threw a slight joke in there for her sake. He knew how it felt to disclose something that was close to his chest and via her reaction her deducted that this was the case. She had given something so once he unlocked the door to her and helped her get in he made his way around getting in himself and turning the car on to pull out. “The death mentioned earlier was the murder of my sister.”

                    If there was one thing she knew about Miguel, it had to fall under the scope of knowing that he wasn’t the happy go lucky chatty type. She hadn’t always been either but the woman could appreciate a good night out on the town. Still, it was the blend of the different personalities that formed their friendships, and, Abby could appreciate his honest attempt. It had been something since Jo, the ever light that brought out the best in all of them, Abby could easily say such. It was funny, when she thought about it, nearly 98% of her problems of feeling suffocated in her own soul blossomed after losing one of her very best friends yet no one seemed to notice.  “Ha! You’re hilarious.” Abby shook her head, finding humor in his words nonetheless, her hair shaking over her shoulders in the process. “If I had all the answers to that, I don’t think I’d still be in this divorce and paying rent for an apartment just to have a place to sleep. Sadly, no. If that’s my game plan, it’s definitely not working.” It made her wonder what Miguel had heard though. Sure, they all talked, and she wasn’t naive enough to think that they hadn’t talked about each other, but she was sure that there had been plenty of opinions from the outside looking in. Abby figured that Miguel knew that well. “So what? Are you going to give me the run down or leave me hanging here?” Perfect brows peaked out of curiosity, then continued on. “I don’t know! I mean, hey, you could have a smoking hot rebound running around here. Or even showed your face with Sid or hell, even Andrew.”

Dark eyes moved briefly towards Abigail as she kept on talking. The circle of friends that he had always been around just wasn’t the same. Or maybe he just wasn’t the same, that too had been brought up during his conversations with his mother, who clearly was stepping in for the therapist that he should actually be seeing. But everyone was aware of how fucking cold it would have to get in hell for him to actually seek that help. He was fine, he was. He just needed a couple of more time. Yet he decided to be there with Abs, to try and enjoy this interaction that he had already thought up a couple of exits to. “You could always crash in the spare room that used to be Noa’s room. She’s not going to be using it anytime soon,” Noa had moved out a long time ago, exactly a year and a half ago if he remembered correctly and he had just left that room alone, hell he had left the house alone. The majority of his time was spent in the restaurant he even had his cot set up in his own damn office but that was not something that needed to be disclosed at the moment. “Divorce isn’t cheap from what I have heard,” Miguel had been lucky enough that his best friend that was an attorney that had overlooked the entire process from start to finish free of charge. Guess those were the friends in high places that his mother had always mentioned when growing up, “Run down of your own marriage demise and the whispers of the town? Eh can’t -- bartender oath I am afraid...” He trailed off, discreetly amused, “As far as my own Noa and I are officially divorced -- and I am not jumping into another relationship anytime soon. Fresh divorce and sleeping or relationships so soon do not ever end well.” He had to work on himself before even going there. More importantly, he needed to fall out of love.

         It was a habit at this point in time. Phoebe would happily blame her job for it, honestly. The way she so easily stuck her nose into things, in-tune to the conversation next to her. A young girl, talking over the phone to what she could only assume to be her mom, or a friend maybe. But she was having relationship troubles, of all things. In Phoenix, of course. Phoebe could never understand why anyone would want to stay with a cheater, work through it even, but she dealt with it all the time. It was tiring, exhausting. Was she watching the girl now? Subtly. Body language, expression, all of it. People deserved to be loved by the right person. She was almost so consumed by her thoughts - actually, she was - she didn’t even notice the person taking a seat across from her, not until the scrape of their chair being pulled in sound in her ears. Dark head of hair whipped around quickly, a look of guilt flashing across her features, “Did you say something?”

It had been around 17 years since Julian signed his own divorced papers –  well, technically, the annulment papers. Despite this making his marriage to Reagan null and voided, it, most times, still felt as though a divorce. He knew it happened, he had hoped it’d last an lifetime. It hadn’t, and this is truly why kids had no business making those kind of decisions. “I’m sure he was, he probably lost a bet, too.” He commented, as he was aware that Miguel wasn’t looking to sign those papers. No matter how many times they were looked through, and agreed upon, his friend wasn’t in the business to end his marriage. This was a sentiment that Julian could get behind. However long it took him to come to terms with it, was his right. “Depends on which one you join, there’s actually quiet a few of them. Be selective, my friend. Some of them are not good places to be.” He mused, more so poking fun at his own, as the club he joined involved heavy drinking – heavy, underaged, drinking for that matter. “You could do that, but I don’t think it’d do you any flavors.” He stated, “Also nor would making big decisions like that when you’re in the mindset, where you’d could go into a black hole.” If there was anything his job had taught him, that was usually the worse decision one could make. Majority of the time, a lot of legal issues did follow. “Well, I have tickets to a fight – so, I mean, would you be up to seeing two dudes beating the fuck out of each other?” He asked, “Depending on the winner, we could walk out with some money.” 

                    “I don’t know about that. Dare I say that I see a twitch in your lips. One whole quiver and everything. I wouldn’t want to jinx myself but I’m pretty damn sure that’s what it was…” Abby trailed off in order to play off the effect of her dramatics, all in good jest that is. Truth be told it didn’t matter if Miguel was out smiling or not it was still nice to see him out and about. Everyone seemed to have something heavy going on in their lives, especially within the likes of their circle, so a simple outing to a county fair could be the step in the right direction. And Abby couldn’t lie, she’d been selfish in jumping on the opportunity to get him out and get that connection back, even more so when it wavered when they all lost Jo so suddenly. “Well, you know what they say anyway. The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.” HA! Maybe that was her downfall here. She practically burnt the pasta when it was just boiling so a hearty home cooked meal was the last thing she could whip up. “We’ll take what we can get.” Her elbow nuzzled into Miguel’s side, joking. “I was, yes. Ben gave me a ride, too.” That was the light way to put it, Abby’s own way of not putting too much hope into something where she could often read into things a bit too much. “She ditched us long ago when she spotted some friends from school. I’m not surprised though since hanging out with your parents in public isn’t that high up on a teenager’s to do list.” Her russet colored locks shook against her shoulders as she laughed and moved her head. “What about you? You can’t be here alone. I mean c’mon. That’s depressing, Miguel. Way more depressing than Andrew.” Another joke fell off her lips. 

She was trying too much. Which explained why he had a flat look on his face. It wasn’t like he didn’t miss his friends and the adventures that they had. Or that he didn’t care about them he just didn’t have the energy to have the theatrics that came with being a human. He was well aware of how terrible that sounded. So for the sake of everything he pinched the bridge of his nose and decided to try, try, and actually be there for someone that he had cared for. Probably still did if he allowed himself to actually feel any feelings aside of anger and resentment. Though Jo had been his sister, his best friend, and his salvation in many ways she had been there for others as well. “I guess you would know considering you’re married. Is that what is fixing your marriage with Ben?” The comment didn’t mean to be as brute as it sounded but it was small talk and people talked. It easily was one of the reasons that he hated this town. He couldn’t understand where they had all gone wrong with their lives. It seemed like everyone in their group was getting divorced or couldn’t keep a marriage together. Had they gotten married too soon? Or had life just changed that much for them? “I mean you know nothing ever stays secret in this town -- especially when you owe a bar and bar and everyone seems to be spilling secrets in the hopes they’ll get free shots.” Or food, usually never worked out like that. However, he heard things just like he was positive things had come out of his own divorce. He knew that next week everyone would know that he had finally given Noa the divorce she had initiated, so he figured why not give Abigail the free update and have it come directly from this mouth, “I am a divorced man, Abs. Who else would I come with?” He decided not to even touch the Andrew topic, after all, that was between him and Miguel. 

               “That seems to be happening everywhere.” A smile was offered, nodding but wondering which business was his. “At least in any big city I’ve visited. It sounds like there’s layers to what you’re telling me though. Which restaurant is yours? I’ll have to give it a try while I’m in town, however long that may be.” That was, of course, if she didn’t get directed there today. As kind and open as he was, something which Nadia was maybe a little desperate for, she wouldn’t hold it against him if he plugged his own business. “So, your family is generational here?” Dark eyes followed his movements as he locked up his truck, smiling as he approached and offered his hand. It seemed she’d made the right call in asking someone for help. “Nadia Burakgazi, it’s nice to meet you, but are you sure? I don’t want to pull you away if you’re busy.” The mention of Google maps made her chuckle and her hand immediately went to her stomach, even talking about casseroles wasn’t deterring her hunger right now and that seemed like a good sign. “I’d much rather not rely on maps, they can’t give me the experience a local can. I’ll buy you lunch?” It was the least she could do and she wouldn’t hate the company. Being alone, she was too focused on her misery and she really couldn’t cry anymore. “I’m not sure, to be completely honest. I just quit my job and that means I have to move, I have a friend or two here so — I’m just feeling it out I suppose.”

“No, I actually haven’t told him that i’m back yet.” She admited, and giving Miguel a slight shrug. “I’m planning on seeing him tomorrow, but you know I needed to make my way through town first. Impulsive is my middle name.” To be fair, she did impulsivly pack all of her things in a carry on suitcase and move halfway across the world, and then made the impulsive decision to fly back home in a moments notice. “At least I am consistant.” Grinning, before leaning back on a table and crossing her arms. “I know that, but he’s my brother, and I can’t just let him drown.” Saying those words, tugged at her heart. It was hard knowing that he was still so wrapped up in the case, that he had practically almost lost his job. Their parents were worried about him, and to be honest, so was she. After a moment, Mia tried to change the subject. “Oh c’mon Miguel, don’t be so broody, you know you’ve missed me. Plus, look at this place! It looks so good in here.” She let her eyes scan the room, before landing them back on Miguel. “You want me to organize your wine glasses? I’m really good at it.”