Thor Odinson was over 1,500 years oldâ a number that humans would never be able to grasp, and yet still young for an Asgardian. For so long, he had thought that his life on Asgard was all he needed. He was a prince, the God of Thunder, someone to be feared and someone to be praised. There was the next battle, and that was it. Thor existed to winâ to conquer. And he was good at it.
But his life didnât truly start until he set foot on Earth. His father was a complicated, misguided person but he taught him his greatest lessons. Forcing Thor to earn his hammer, making him think about someone other than himself and the fastest way to throneâ it changed him. And that journey would not have been the same without Jane Foster.
She was brilliant and brave and loved the stars in a way that Thor had never considered before. He wanted to see the universe through her eyes and teach her the things he had learned on his journeys. She saw him when he was unworthy and when he earned that power backâ and loved him all the same either way. Connections like theirs seemed meant to be, drawn together by whatever powers in the universe made such things happen.
Earth brought him to Jane. To the Avengers. To his brother when he was lost. Earth gave him a home when his was lost. It saved his people. Itâs where his father spent his final days. The 1,500 years prior felt small compared to everything heâs experienced on this planet. His life became exponentially filled with both joy and sorrow the day he was banished.
Because of that, Thor found it hard to return after taking Arra in as his own. Jane was gone, his people did not need him, and his friends were either dead or gone somewhere else. After his travels with the Guardians, it felt as if he had no home. So he put all his energy towards Arra and their life togetherâ forging bonds, testing her abilities, and fighting for those who could not fight for themselves. Love and Thunder, they were called. A title he absolutely adored.
But then something called him back. It felt like homesickness, but that couldnât have been right. Thor had no home. Only a ship and a daughter to share it with. Still, he followed that feeling back to Earth, not knowing what to expect when he arrived.
When Val told him the news, it took a lot of convincing to finally make him believe it. Jane was alive, she said. He figured it was some sort of cruel joke, and questioned whether following his homesickness back to this retched planet was just his past trying to play him for a fool. But once he moved through the waves of sorrow and bitterness that came with thinking about Jane, Thor finally gave in and accepted what Val said.
So here he waited, sitting on a rock near the cliff covered shores of New Asgard, looking over the water. It was a beautiful and brisk day, much like it was the last time he saw his father. He came to terms with the possibility that he would be waiting there forever, that Jane was not actually alive. But he needed to know for himself.
Jane Foster lived her life with stars in her eyes. Ever since she was a child, she had tipped her head back and lost herself to the sheer magnitude of space. It was vast, infinite. It made her feel small. While that may have bothered others, it never bothered Jane. She knew she was finite and minuscule in the grand scheme of things. Instead of letting it beat her down, she could fill every second that she had. She would learn, grow and excel everyday because even though she was just a speck of dust in the scope of reality, that didnât mean she lacked a purpose
you are flesh & bones. you will never know the stars you study, yet you are made of stardust still
In the end, her accolades didnât save her. They brought her pride during her life, but Jane never made them out to be more than they were. Honorific, yes, but ultimately unable to stop her from getting sick. It didnât matter how accomplished Jane was. Cancer didnât check her credentials before it wracked her body. It didnât ask to see her Nobel Peace Prize before it stripped her down and turned her inside out. Cancer didnât ask for permission. It just took and took and took no matter how hard she fought back. And Jane, for the record, fought. It just wasnât always in the right way.
â whosoever holds this hammer, if he be worthy, shall possess the power of thor â
Before Mjolnir, Jane hadnât doubted herself. She knew she was a good person. Imperfect, of course, but she was intelligent and kind. She tried to do her best to give back. Maybe she wasnât worthy like the man she had fallen in love with, but that was okay. She wasnât a deity whose life expands on into eternity. Jane didnât need cosmic power. She needed her brains and her friends, and for a long time, that was enough. It wasnât until she tasted possibility that her fate was sealed.
Hammer v survival. Help people v live longer.Â
There were choices to be made. The second Mjolnirâs handle fit into her palm, Jane knew she was a lost cause. This was what it felt like to be a god, to have a power to help people. Words had power. She lived and ( eventually ) died by that. Her scholarly and academic pursuits did not diminish in importance in her mind, but what she felt as Thor was something else entirely. It didnât make her power hungry; instead, it helped provide her with new perspective. Jane was willing to die for the sake of others â and die she did.
ashes to ashes, dust to dust. you burned fast and bright all too soon. this is not the end. not yet.
The first person had called was Darcy. Of course it was Darcy. Jane was disoriented and needed her friend. It was Darcy who had brought her to New York, helped her get back on her feet. As soon as Jane had been able, she had looked for Thor. It had been disappointing but not surprising to learn he was off-world. Valkyrie had insisted on making the flight to the States to greet her friend due to Jane being too weak to handle the almost ten hour flight. Iâll find him, the King had told Jane. Iâll find him.
And, true to her word, she had. It had taken a little, but it had just given Jane a little time to get healthy enough to travel. She moved through JFK in a ball of anxiety, half ridden with guilt that she was coming back into Thorâs life after traumatically leaving it. She couldnât be guilty about being alive though, could she? Not when it was a gift in and of itself.Â
The car takes her to New Asgard, but she slowly makes her way down the hill towards the golden man who sits on a rock. Heâs not the only one sheâs loved, but heâs her love all the same. Jane observes the tilt of his shoulders where he sits, eyes tracing the outline of his shape against the vivid blue of the sky. In the hill on a distance is a statue of the Mighty Thor. Of Jane. She feels far from that woman as she clutches her cane and takes careful steps. For a moment, a part of her wants to leave him sitting there. He looks peaceful, and Thor is a man oft denied that. But she canât. Sheâs traveled the world for a reason. Jane is here because she needs to open this wound once more.
It feels ridiculous to say after how they parted. Hi. For Thor, a little time has passed. Heâs been traveling with Gorrâs daughter, learning how to be a father. Itâs Jane whoâs been in stasis, frozen in time and trapped by her own mortality. She hopes heâs forgiven her for leaving, even if she had no choice. Similarly, she canât blame him if itâs too fresh. What they had was raw: it was bright and beautiful and bogged down by intense feelings. Sometime it felt they were as fleeting as the night sky, a comet burning bright before it vanishes from views. Jane Foster is a Doctor, an astrophysicist. Everything she knows means nothing at the sight of his face. Again, her mouth open and closes. Nothing comes out. She is, for one of the few times in her life, utterly speechless. Jane Foster, the woman of a hundred dreams and a thousand ideas, can do nothing but stare and hope sheâs not too late to walk back into the potential they had together.Â
