Mieganti Panda | Sleeping Panda

Kiekviena vidutinybė turi savo melancholiją.

[...] compartmentalizing the pain, living in the distraction, just like the holidays: the fake Santas, the plastic trees, the annoying Christmas carols. One big song-and-dance production to sell ourselves the theatre that everything's jolly, at least for a moment. But when it's all over, Santa's gone back to his shitty day job. The trees get disassembled and thrown in a closet. The music's faded away. What then?

Jie primygtinai tvirtina, kad seksas tinklu demonstruoja tiesą, juk devyniasdešimt procentų seksualumo slypi smegenyse. Tuomet aš esu labai priklausomas nuo likusių dešimties procentų. Haliucinuoti kito žmogaus fizinį artumą labai sunku.

The truth is a symbol, and symbols are the truth. It is the best to grasp symbols the way they are. There's no logic or facts, no pig's belly button or ant's balls. When people try to use a method other than the truth to follow along the path of understanding, it is like trying to use a sieve to hold water.

If that painting wants to say something, then best to let it speak. Let metaphors be metaphors, a code a code, a sieve a sieve. Is there something wrong with that?

People devote a lot of energy to thinking about things. Whether they want to or not. Yet in the end we all just have to wait – only time can tell how events play out. The answers lie ahead.

Tomorrow is tomorrow. Today is all we have right now.

People can accomplish anything, I thought, if they want it badly enough. There are channels through which reality can become unreal. Or unreality can enter the realm of the real. If we desire it that strongly. Deep in our heart. But that didn't mean that we were free. It might demonstrate quite the opposite.

"Try to look on the bright side," [...] "This might sound like dumb advice, but if you're going to walk down a road, it's better to walk down the sunny side, right?"

[…] bet juk nepriversi žmonių klausyti. Jie patys turi susimąstyti, kai jiems ateis laikas, stebėdamiesi, kas atsitiko ir kodėl pasaulis sprogo po jų kojomis.

Žinai, ką aš manau, Mėja? Manau, kad tu, sėdėdama prie stalo ir siųsdama šypsenėles, kažkodėl manai gyvenanti nepaprastai įdomų gyvenimą. Tu komentuoji, užuot veikusi. Matai Nepalo nuotrauką, spaudi šypsenėlės mygtuką ir tau atrodo, kad ten apsilankei. O kas nutiktų, jei iš tikrųjų ten nuvyktum? Ak taip, tavo "Smaukytojų rato" reitingas, ar kaip ten tas šūdas vadinasi, nukristų žemiau reikiamo lygio! Mėja, ar pati supranti, kad su tavimi nepakeliamai nuobodu?

Naturally at the time I never imagined that this person would soon enter my life and change its direction entirely. Without him, none of the events that happened to me would have ever taken place. At the same time, if he hadn't been there I might very well have lost my life in the darkness, with no one ever the wiser.

Žmogus visą laiką ilgisi. Ilgisi kažko – Dievo ar dar ko nors aukštesnio. Ilgesys dažnai susijęs su religija. Ilgesys turi kilmę ir tikslą. Aš ilgiuosi kažko, to, jos. Modernusis nenuilsimas neturi šaknų, o kai kilmė neaiški, neaiškus tampa ir tikslas. Nenuilsimas yra nerviška vibracija, besisukanti apie save. Aš nežinau, ko ilgiuosi. Nepaliaujamas nerimas visų pirmiausia siekia nutrūkti. Jis pats yra savo atramos taškas.