My Midwife Said What?

We’re kind of mystified by the tree-head.

This facebook page is in support of Marcene, a “traditional midwife” who is “ being unfairly indicted for second-degree manslaughter and criminally negligent homicide.” They posted asking for some help with research. This post just inspires confidence in this midwife, doesn’t it?  

I would feel uncomfortable with a care provider who was that excited about touching my cervix.

That person risking their life for your experience would be YOUR BABY. 

How about not letting your baby be harmed because you put your birth EXPERIENCE above the BABY

This explains quite a lot about homebirth midwives and their judgment of risk; the process is what’s important.

Commitment to the process. Nevermind the outcome, right??

Midwives: When they aren't off sticking their ungloved hands into sacred yonis or heating up the poo-filled birth pool, they're on the interwebz, refusing to find funny shit funny. 

Wisdom and introspection from the Navelgazing Midwife 

This babycentre mamma is a little confuzzled about cause and effect. Of COURSE birthing at home makes you low risk, despite the fact your baby is a full frank breech. There's nothing to worry about - she had a breech homebirth before! That makes it safe right? Hubby is a chiropractor so of course it's safe! Later down the thread she even says "I can't imagine it NOT going well. :) " Oh bless her ignorant little heart. We hope it goes well, because as higher-brained animals, we CAN imagine it going all kinds of bad. But hey - birth warrior bragging rights don't come cheap do they? http://community.babycenter.com/post/a38533990/back-to-back_breech_homebirths

Follow the link to The Matrona for the highest concentration of 'quantum' vagina art outside a Georgia O'Keefe exhibit at a gynaecology ward, and more pseudoscience than you can poke a female stick at. 

A doula bragging about an unassisted birth she attended. Her post was titled "I caught a baby in the caul!" rather than "holy shit I'm not remotely qualified for this!", which would have been my choice. http://community.babycenter.com/post/a38589046/i_caught_a_baby_in_caul

While we're skeptical of the figure that there's a 1.5 percent severe morbidity or mortality rate of breech babies born via C-section, we'll give this one a "Wise Wednesday" thumbs-up for the acknowledgement that breech births are risky and shouldn't be done at home, and the poster's follow-up comment that having a dead or disabled child might indeed be pretty darn traumatic.

(Thanks M for this one)

Personally, we were pretty glad not to have to walk through the entire hospital in active labor! 

An I the only one who knows that 'DOZENS' is more than 21? Thank you, Gina, faux-feminist and self-absorbed doula extraordinaire, for that math lesson.