I can see you across the room, looking at me, trying to make eye contact as I coyly brush the hair from my face and give you a shy smile. You see my friend has just walked to get another drink and now I’m alone. You’re going to walk over, offer to buy me a drink, turn on the charm. I’m your prey and you’re my hunter-or so you think.

Little do you know that I’ve had my sights on you for the past half hour. You don’t know that I saw your car-an Audi S8, nice-and watched you walk in with every intention of getting you to notice me. You don’t know that I looked at your Rolex and smiled. You don’t know that I asked the bartender if he knew who you were, and he told me you were “in pharmaceuticals” and that you come in a lot. I can tell you aren’t a player, you don’t have that blind confidence, but I can tell you’re lonely, looking for someone to fill that void. You don’t know that I purposefully bumped into you. I wanted you to smell me, feel my warmth against you for a fleeting moment, so that you’d ache when I walked away. You don’t know that I planned for my friend to walk away just so you could see your opening and make a move. So that you could hunt me. 

Rape Escape

Easy and very effective

Requires nothing but your body

I don’t think I made it very clear but last month I was sexually assaulted by someone who I thought was my friend (I don’t want to talk about it don’t ask), and it’s… really fucked with my head. 

Had I known this a month ago I would have been able to get away. 

So, essentially, I’m really pleading with you to reblog this so everyone who follows you doesn’t get stuck in the same position I was with no way out. 

- A personal trainer - A bookkeeper/financial adviser - A kickass therapsit

I’ll tell her that I wasn’t born with the opportunities she has. I’ll tell her there was a war, and it left my well educated father dead and my well educated mother penniless with 6 mouths to feed and not a single job opportunity. I’ll tell her about how my mother and brothers carried me and my sisters on their backs over thirty kilometers to safety. And when luck ran out there, how my mother drove us over one hundred kilometers, only for the stupid car to break down, and I’ll tell her about how brave my mother was as she hitchhiked through unfriendly territory praying that she could save her children. I’ll tell her about not having reliable electricity for five years, and how cold it was in the winter when snowflakes would fall through the cracks in the roof and stick to my eyelashes. 

I’ll tell her how the “recruiters” came in and tried to convince my sisters and I to come be fashion models; we were tall, and slender. But they were predators. They knew how poor we were, how we’d do anything they said. I’ll tell my daughter how my mother shooed them away and told them if they came back she’d lob their heads off with a butcher knife. 

I’ll tell my daughter about how hard I worked in school. I’ll tell her how I spent hours and hours every day practicing English, and how much my stepfather helped me study for my SATs. I’ll tell her about going to school as an athlete, and how hard I worked to make it through school, how lucky I was, how blessed I was. 

I’ll tell my daughter about how hard it was being surrounded by so many wealthy kids. I’ll tell her about them inviting me to come spend the weekend at their mansions on lakes, or come on their yacht, or how they never understood when I told them I couldn’t afford to pay for things. I’ll tell her about how it only got worse when I went into banking, and how much I had hoped to earn all of that for myself. 

I’ll tell her about losing my job. I’ll tell her about being turned away by every employer. I’ll tell her about sending my resume out for over two hundred jobs. I’ll tell her about how humiliating GoGo dancing was, and how waitressing was even worse, or being a nanny or a maid. I’ll tell her about coming home to see my mother, my beautiful, brilliant’s mother’s hands beaten raw from scrubbing floors. An engineer scrubbing floors, I’ll tell her, can you imagine? 

I’ll tell her how it began with a friend, and then continued out of desperation. And then I’ll tell her about the day I decided to be more. It was the day my mother told me about how she wanted to kill herself. So many women were doing it, and she said it would have been easy. She was so hopeless, and so traumatized from being raped by evil men over and over, and even more traumatized knowing her daughter, my sister, had suffered the same way. My mother stood on that fucking bridge, the same one my father was killed on, and almost stepped off, but didn’t. She didn’t end her suffering because she couldn’t leave us to a certain death. She would have done anything for us, she did everything she possibly could to save us. 

And I swear in that moment I saw a flash of you, my beautiful daughter-that’s what I’ll tell her. I saw a little girl so indescribably beautiful it would hurt my eyes to look at her. I knew in that moment one day I would have a daughter, and that I would do absolutely anything for her. So I began doing that. I began committing myself to a lifestyle so many disapprove of. I began building my own small fortune, I began setting up my life in a way so that my children would never want for anything, would never ever need. I’ll tell her that in that moment I finally understood The Great Gatsby’s Daisy when she prayed her tiny daughter would be “a beautiful little fool”. I’ll tell my daughter that in that moment I decided to claw and fight my way to the top so that would be all she ever knew. I’ll tell her I wanted to conquer the world just so I could hand it to her on a silver platter.

I’ll tell her I did it for her, not to make her feel guilty, but so that she understands how deep my love was for her before she was even conceived. 

At first it may appear that it’s just “shopping and traveling”, but the reality is, not all of us like to shop and not all of us get to travel with our SD’s.

The activities that play out in each arrangement will vary according to the interests, desires, hobbies, social settings, need for discretion, locations, careers/schooling choices and financial limitations faced by each SD and SB. The two of them together, will decide what works best for them and what they want from/out of their time spent together.

For example: My SD and I rarely go “clothes” shopping, its just a personal preference that I would rather use his funds that he allots to be spent on me, in a different way. I don’t want a pair of shoes for $2,000, but I do want high end cabinets and counter tops for my kitchen (whatever I’m working on at the moment), as I am renovating my home as an investment. He knows this, so it’s just something that if we do go shopping, it’s actually for him and if its for me, it’s not a new skirt but rather something from a home store.

Since we still see each other almost once a week, I can understand how you’d be curious as to what we do to keep busy…

Things we do:

* Read the paper together while out and about and discuss current events.* Go to the movies or theatre.* Go out for coffee and discuss/vent or brag (that’s me not him lol) about our careers.* Browse home renovating stores to get ideas.* Assist him with picking out personal items for his wife and family.* Test drive cars and equipment that his company is purchasing.* Engage in kinky sex if the mood is right.* Run daily mundane errands together.* Go for either breakfast, lunch, snacks or suppers together.* Go skating on outdoor rinks in neat little neighbourhoods or downtown under the lights (Eh Canada!)* Sits with me at the dealership while I get new tires, an oil change etc.* Tour his properties together to see progress.* Stroll through the zoo.* Go shopping, if its for personal items it usually corresponds to the changing seasons: snow = knee high boots, summer = maxi dresses etc. (I’m too practical, to a fault sometimes). * Text each other during our favourite tv shows and discuss the ridiculousness of it all. * Meet at cafes to listen and offer advice with personal matters.* Share different events that are happening in our city, that the other may be interested in doing with their spouse or friends. * Check out live bands and concerts.* Browse book stores or technology stores.* Attend “home shows” or “sportsman shows” together.* Go to the shooting range and watch me fail miserably.* We have run out to help the other when they have had a random need or forgotten something…like his wife’s dress at the dry cleaner and it closes in 10 minutes and he lives an hour away lol, amongst my own forgetful things! * Sit with a tea and people watch, and discuss random topics that neither of us will remember.* I assist him with his work in proof reading proposals/reports.* Go bowling.* Email each other restaurant websites, with their reviews and menus and discuss when it will fit into our schedules or if the other is even interested.* Go for walks along the water front (He’s 57, there’s no jogging here lol)* Go shopping for him, to “spruce him up”. My favourite thing lately on him is Rock Revival Jeans* Browse our local farmers market on a Saturday morning, then head our separate ways for the weekend.* Go for drives* Check out new exhibits at both our big art gallery and the smaller independent ones. * Play pool and pretend to be sad when I lose but laugh when I claim all my “shit shots”.* We have taken a cooking class (one night a week for 4 weeks) and we have resigned to eating in restaurants lol* We have travelled together, within Canada, but have no desire to go over seas together, due to other commitments.* Go to the casino, to see drag races and horse races. (He’s a gambler while I’m a penny pincher!)

Basically, what I would do with a loved one, wether it’s a friend, boyfriend or husband, I will do with my SD. I do realize that we are able to do quite a bit together, and this is a combination of our work and family schedules. Our family needs/wants come first and then our personal agendas come second.

So, the above is a list of the things that I do/have done on our dates (plus other small random things) and probably similar for other SB’s. But there is also a list of what we as SB’s “are” to our SD’s.

Things that we are:

* Nurses* Personal Therapists* Teachers* Project Managers* Confidants* Supporters* Critics* Interior Designers* Business Partners* Assistants* Advisors* Self Esteem Boosters* Health Promoters * Consultants* Travel Companions* Scapegoats* Motivators * Lovers* Tax write-offs * Supporters* Financial advisors* Secretaries* Illusionists * Personal Stylist* Personal Trainers* Counsellors* Nutritionists* Travel Agents* Sex Therapists* Tour Guides (local or afar)* Friends* Etc Etc

Part 1. Why Freestyle?

I see people on Tumblr complain all the time about how sugar sites are full of splenda, salt daddies and worse. Women are tired of being jerked around, lied to and threatened by these online creeps.

So what is a SB to do? Freestyle. Freestyling is basically the act of seeking out a sugar daddy offline, the good old fashioned way. I have found, and most everyone I have ever talked to about the topic has found, that you find much higher quality men via freestyling but yes, it is more labor intensive, and it has its drawbacks. But, like anything, you get what you put in. Although the initial input is much higher with freestyling, the rewards can be much higher.

Part 2. Freestyle Anywhere, Freestyle Everywhere

In my personal opinion, if you’re a SB really trying to become a pro, you need to always be on your toes and be on your game. Your life is a long series of freestyling events. I think when girls on here generally talk about going freestyling, especially in a group, they mean go out on the town (to bars, clubs, lounges etc.) and while those are all viable options of places to meet POTs, those aren’t the only places. You can meet POTs anywhere, from restaurants, to charity events, to the dry cleaners, to the grocery store.

This also brings me to my next point. It pays to be nice to everyone. You never know who is going to be a good networking connection later on. Sure, the older woman at the country club talking about her grandkids is kind of dull, but maybe she’ll introduce you to someone who could be a POT. Any sort of restaurant or bar staff are great to be friend, you never know what kind of gossip they’ll have on people who come in frequently. Maybe the guy grabbing almond milk next to you looks pretty average, but for all you know he’s a tech millionaire who dresses down while running errands. You just don’t know. So, my best advice: be nice and be friendly to everyone.

Part 3. Freestyle Location Ideas

I know I just got done saying that anywhere can be a freestyle location, and anywhere can, but I think we’re all smart enough to know that there are locations where you’re more likely to run into someone who could become a POT. I’m just going to create a list here; I’ll try to be as thorough as I can but feel free to add to this.

Lounges, Bars, Etc.

Upscale Restaurants

Lunch locations popular with local professionals (for example, in NYC, lunch locations in FiDi popular with Wall Street patrons)

Art Galleries

Art Auctions (and really any sort of high end auction)

Country Clubs (*This may present a large upfront cost to you)

Golf Clubs

Through Rich Friends**(see below)

Charity Events

Spas

Sporting Events (especially regarding big stadium events, where somebody is seating can give you a clue as to their disposable income)

*Also, just thought of this as a possibility: Sporting Events at Ivy League or comparable Unis here in the US and abroad; I went to an ‘upscale’ Uni and I meet a lot of wealthy people at Alum events, so if you aren’t an alum of an ‘upscale’ Uni then perhaps you could meet Alum at a sporting event or some other event

**I want to expand on this one a little bit. I have friend who are successful SBs who will be wing-women and help me along. Then I have friends who don’t know I’m a SB, and I don’t want them to know. When you’re introduced to a man via a friend who you don’t want to know that you’re a SB, tread lightly. If you lose a POT (or a SD) you don’t want to also lose a friend (and all of their networking connections!).

Part 4. Yes Looks Are Important

Whenever you are trying to make a good impression, and while you’re sugaring you should certainly be trying to make a good impression, you should strive to look good. This means different things for different venues. It is very important that you dress appropriately. A mini skirt and crop top are not appropriate for many venues; a “Sunday’s Best” church dress is also not appropriate for many venues. If you look like you fit in, people won’t be as suspicious of you. If you come to the country club in a micro mini, you may as well hold up a flashing sign that says “I AM A GOLDDIGGER”.

Dress well. Dress Appropriately. And stand out..just not too much. You want to try to be the most gorgeous woman/most handsome man in the room, but keep your look within the boundaries of the venue, event, time, location, etc. Look good, but look like you fit in.

Part 5. How to Talk to People

Ok this is really difficult for me to write. I really don’t know how to teach you in a post how to talk to people, but I get asked about it frequently enough that I need to address it. Every situation is different, every person is different etc.

I’m happy to give tips, tricks and pointers but the best thing you can do is practice. I wrote in a post a while back that if you’re going to be in any job that requires a lot of human interaction, and you aren’t completely comfortable talking to people, then you need to practice. Go to the grocery store and start striking up conversations with people in line. Go into these practice conversations with a goal: you want to learn 3 things about this random stranger by the end of your conversation. It will feel weird at first, but the more you do it the better you’ll be at it, and more importantly, the less nerve wracking it will be.

I think the hardest part about talking to someone is the introduction. There are settings where you really won’t be left with any other choice other than to walk up to somebody, shake their hand and tell them your name. When doing this remember to approach from the front, establish eye contact, speak clearly and give a firm handshake. And remember, listen to their name. Sometimes we’re so in our own heads that we don’t actually listen to the other person then we forget their name. It bothers people when you forget their name, so make a point to try to remember it. The more details you learn about them the easier it will be; remembering “Sally” is hard, but remembering “Sally” who is from Michigan, loves baseball and vanilla ice cream is a little easier.

Although that is one common way to make an introduction, you can’t just walk up to random strangers and shake their hand. I mean you can, if you want them to be really surprised and not want to talk to you any further. So, how then do you start the conversation? Well, as a general rule, I like to start one of two ways: either being funny, or by complimenting them. I picked up the latter method after working as a nanny to this woman who could charm anyone; I asked her for her secret and she said she always starts with a compliment. First, it often catches people off guard, and second, most everyone loves to be complimented. It’s flattering. I use this more on women than I do on men because when I use this on men I run the risk of laying it on too thick. But either way, this is one trick to make sure a conversation starts off on the right foot.

My own go to method, though, is to be funny. This, like complimenting, does not have a 100% success rate but it’s high enough that I keep using it. This has a lot of risks involved. You might offend someone. You might not be that funny, or have a sense of humor other people don’t like. You might meet someone with no sense of humor, or they’re having a bad day and don’t want to laugh. You don’t have to be a comedian to be a good SB, this is just what I personally use.

And sometimes I use humor in a way I know is especially risky. For instance, the other day I was parking my car and parked it backwards so my trunk would be closer to the elevator. My neighbor, who was also in the parking garage, saw it and when I stepped out of the car he told me I did a good job parking it. I could have said thank you, and moved on. Instead, I said, “Were you expecting me to crash it just because I’m a woman?” He was completely taken aback and caught off guard, and I knew he’d probably respond in one of two ways: think I was a bitch and not talk to me anymore, or, be suddenly very intrigued by his cheeky neighbor. He reacted the latter way; sometimes men like to be verbally spanked.

There are a lot of ways to use humor though. If you aren’t a cheeky person, don’t use cheeky humor. Find a method that reflects who you are. And in general, no matter which way you choose to introduce yourself to people, there is the risk it will be unsuccessful. That’s why, and this applies to all parts of sugaring, I say to cast a wide net, and not put all of your eggs in one basket. You’re going to fail sometimes, you’re going to be rejected sometimes, it’s just a fact of life, and the better you get at dusting yourself off after it happens the better off you will be.

Bottom line, don’t be afraid to be friendly, put yourself out there and start up a conversation with someone.

Now, once you make it past the introduction, it’s key that you keep it going. Be friendly. Be interesting. Don’t talk about depressing things or be a downer in any way, shape or form. And do not overshare, that’s so uncomfortable when people do that. Be warm. Be genuine. Ask questions. Don’t just talk about yourself. Listen to the other person.

If this is someone you think could be a POT, ask questions that will help you gauge if they could be a POT. Ask about their job, do they like to travel, etc. Be somebody who knows a lot about different topics so that you can keep up an intelligent conversation with somebody. If you’re talking to a guy who works in hedge funds, it’s going to be a lot sexier to him if you at least know what a hedge fund is versus if you giggle and say, “Wow you must be so smart. All of that economics stuff goes right over my head.” Don’t play dumb, be intelligent and well rounded.

Also, as far as how you talk: speak clearly, don’t mumble, don’t shout, and if you like to use your hands to talk, use them but don’t be so wild with them you become a spectacle. Nonverbal communication is great when used appropriately. Smile, nod your head, show you’re listening.

listen up hoes! sometimes i get my period on the most inconvenient dates, and my period happens to be heavy as fuck and lasts up to 10 days some months. my period used to interrupt my plans a lot, i got so fed up with it i used to take extra birth control pills on it so it would stop (don’t do this it fucks your cycle up so bad). and then one day i watched a vlog by an ex pornstar and she was explaining how she would use a sponge to stop her period on days that she still had to work. and i was like “whattttt!! sponge? oh shit let’s see if this is legit” so i looked it up and did some self experimenting and damn yo it works so well!!!

so what you’re gonna need is:
-a bottle of lube (i like the clear bottle of astroglide, they have generic brands in clear bottles too. they have purple caps as well.) -a super tampon -a white sponge -scissors -running water

so first you’re gonna take the sponge (don’t get a colored one, the dye isn’t good for your coochie) and cut the sponge about the size of a regular sized tampon, or a little shorter than that if your period is light. then rinse the sponge under water and squeeze the excess. put some lube on it and squeeze it around so the whole sponge is lubey. then take the tampon and push out the cotton part so you just have the applicator. cut the top of the applicator so that the spiky opening flaps are all gone. make sure it’s a clean cut and there are no pokey edges that could cut your vagina. then stuff the lubed up sponge into the applicator and rinse your hands off and the applicator cause it’ll be slippery, and use it like you would a normal tampon. try to get it up there pretty deep cause if it hangs out of your coochie you’ll have to pull it out and restart. take some more lube and put it on your fingers to push the sponge into place. now you can bang without bleeding!!!

and guys can’t feel it!!! like i have had sex with one of my sugar daddies that im really close with, and i told him i was using a sponge and he said he couldn’t feel it at all (and he has a pretty big dick too). i just recommend using as much lube as possible cause having it in there will soak up your wetness along with your period.

also just be warned that itll only allow you to have sex for 2-3 hours if your period is heavy. anything past your heaviest day and you can have it in without bleeding for up to 12 hours (even tho i wouldn’t recommend doing that, shit happens).