that post was right i wouldn’t have a sense of humor without spongebob. its still some of the goddamn funniest shit i’ve ever seen. spongebob almost dying because he’s too polite to ask for a glass of water at sandy’s house. mr. krabs and spongebob killing the health inspector. smittywerbenjagermenjensen. “I was born with glass bones and paper skin. every morning I break my legs. and every afternoon I break my arms.” the perfume department on the flying dutchman’s boat. that time spongebob cleared his mind to be a fine dining waiter and forgot his own name because that’s how customer service just BE. the ugly barnacle that was so ugly everyone DIED. the END. the one where squidward buys a pie but it’s actually a bomb. and the MUSICAL numbers like??? the fun song. the christmas song. tony award winning song “this grill is not a grill”. the entire band geeks episode like…this is all from the top of my head!!!!! just from the top of my head!!! there’s so much more!!! thank god for stephen and all the laughs i’ve had because of him.

idk i really like being called cute but i also really like hearing that you masturbate to the thought of me idk

Being 18-25 is like playing a video game where you’ve skipped the tutorial and you’re just sort of running about with no idea how anything works

Being 25-30 is like later on in the game when you’ve figured out how things work, but have made poor leveling decisions along the way and are now horribly underpowered for what you’re supposed to be doing.

stop apologizing for who you are

Open up to me, I find that shit attractive.

how much deeper would the ocean be without sponges

It ain’t corny if it’s for ya shawty.

Deadass.

That’s a fact