Dan pulled his sleeves over his hands, trying to make himself as small as possible. He knew he shouldn’t have gone out on the verge of little space, but he thought he’d be able to perform the simple task of getting milk from the shops.

He was now crammed in the corner of the underground, on the verge of tears. The world was so big and scary, Dan couldn’t wait to get home.

Finally he made his way out of the train car and onto the underground station.

His relief was short lived however as as soon as he was out of the crowd, he was grabbed by the arm and pulled harshly into the shadows. Dan whimpered at this.

The man who’d grabbed him had him against the wall quickly in an inescapable grip. “Hey pretty boy,” he whispered, voice gruff. “How about we have some fun, yeah?”

Dan’s eyes widened. No. No no no no. Why was this man touching him? Dan didn’t want to be touched by him! Dan whimpered pitifully again, tears slipping down his cheeks. He just wanted to go home.

“Don’t cry, baby. I’ll take good care of you.” He chuckled, hand moving down Dan’s front before cupping his crotch.

Dan yelped at the unwanted rough touch. He cried harder and tried to move away. The man pressed him harder against the wall.

Luckily someone heard Dan struggling. “Hello?” A voice called from outside the tunnel. “What’s going on here?”

The man put a finger to his lips threateningly, and Dan was too scared to disobey, until a sob ripped from Dan’s lungs involuntarily.

“A-alright, c'mon out or I’m calling the cops,” the person spoke, opening their phone.

Dan sobbed in relief as the man let go of him and walked in the opposite direction. Dan stepped into the light and sniffed. He didn’t even stay to thank his savior he just took off toward his flat.

Dan finally got up the stairs, winded, and rushed inside, locking the door behind him. He wrapped his arms around himself and rushed off to his room, still crying.

Phil heard Dan enter and go immediately to his room.

“Dan did you get it?” he called when he found Dan’s door locked.

“W-what?” came Dan’s shaky reply.

“The milk. Did you get it?” Phil asked, casually.

Dan muffled a sob with his duvet. He must’ve forgotten it in the alley with that man. “N-no they were out,” he lied.

Dan’s eyes widened. He lied to his daddy. Should he just tell his daddy what happened? What if he got mad? Only his daddy was supposed to touch him and that man touched him anyway. What if his daddy got angry with him?! Dan couldn’t tell him what happened.

Phil left Dan to himself, taking the locked door as a plea for alone time.

Dan burrowed under his duvet, trying to shake off the feeling of terror and dirtiness. He decided to change out of the outfit. He didn’t want to wear what that bad man had touched. He changed into pajama pants with penguins on them and one of his daddy’s shirts.

Dan cried a bit more, wrapped in his duvet. All he could think was that he’d been bad and let another man touch him. Phil would be mad.

Dan eventually drifted off.

He woke up to Phil knocking on his door. “Hey, Dan, you hungry?” he called.

Dan rubbed his eyes, coming to. “Daddy?” he called back, still out of it.

Phil stopped. “Oh. Kitten, can you let daddy in?” he asked gently, trying the doorknob again.

Dan froze. Now his daddy knew he was little. He would wanna ask Dan why he didn’t tell him. Then Dan would be in even more trouble.

Dan bit his lip. “I-I don wanna,” he spoke.

“Why not, bear?” Phil asked, voice soft.

“I don wanna be in twouble,” he admitted.

“Babyboy, why would you be in trouble? Please let me in.”

Dan’s lip quivered. “Do you pwomise n-not to be m-mad, daddy?”

Phil pondered this. Dan sounded so upset, whatever he’d done to get in trouble he must really be sorry for. “Cross my heart,” Phil promised.

Dan swallowed and unlocked his door before scurrying back to his bed and curling up in his duvet again.

Phil slowly opened the door, frowning when he saw his little one hiding beneath the covers.

“Danny?” he prompted, walking over to sit on the bed. “Sweetheart, why have you been hiding from me?”

“I don wan’ be punished,” Dan whimpered.

“Why would I punish you, bear?” he asked, pulling the duvet back and exposing Dan from his hiding.

Dan looked like he was about to cry. Phil smiled sadly and opened his arms for Dan to crawl into. Dan gratefully took the offer, leaning against Phil’s chest.

“I didn’t wan it daddy!” Dan exclaimed, beginning to cry.

Phil furrowed his brow, tilting Dan’s chin up to meet his eyes. “What, baby? What didn’t you want?”

“Him! He touched me! And he touched m-my p-private parts and I didn’ wan him too!” Dan sobbed, clutching Phil’s shirt.

Phil’s eyes widened. He pulled back and looked Dan in the eyes. He hadn’t realized how serious the situation could be. Dan’s fits were normally silly.

“Dan, this is very important. Who touched you?” he asked, seriously.

“I-I don know, i-it was dawk and I couldn’t see h-his face.” Dan hiccupped. “But I didn’t want it daddy! I promise, I didn’t wan it!”

Phil pushed aside his bubbling anger for whoever did his baby harm. He reached forward and cupped Dan’s cheeks, brushing away the tears. “I know, bear, oh, I know. You poor thing, you’re okay now. It’s okay. How could I ever be upset over something you couldn’t control?” Phil asked gently.

Dan shrugged, the idea seeming kind of silly now. He threw himself into his daddy’s arms with a broken sob. “I was so scared daddy! I thought he was gonna--” Dan choked on his tears.

Phil held Dan close, rubbing circles into his back. “It’s alright baby. I’ve got you, now. You’re such a good boy, such a brave little boy. I’m so sorry, kitten,” Phil rambled. “Were you little when he touched you, sweetheart?”

Dan nodded, sniffling.

“Oh, Dan, baby. You were probably so afraid. He didn’t hurt you right?”

Dan shook his head, holding onto Phil tighter. “He j-just t-touched me d-down there, a-and then s-someone s-scawed him off. I j-just wanted to get h-home to you,” he cried.

Phil reached over to the bed stand and grabbed a tissue, holding it to Dan’s nose as he cried.

“You should’ve come to me as soon as you got home.” Phil murmured.

“M sorry daddy,” he mumbled, laying his head on Phil’s chest.

“You don’t have to apologize, love. It’s okay.” Phil spoke softly, holding Dan close to his chest. “Hey,” he prompted, looking down at Dan. When Dan looked up at him he continued, “I’ll never let anyone hurt you again, bear.”

Dan sniffled, “Pwomise?”

“Promise.” Phil agreed, kissing Dan on the forehead.

So, he knocked on the door and it opened within a minute, revealing a surprised Phil with messy hair and wide eyes. Dan looked at him with wide eyes of his own.

Phil threw his arms around Dan, surprising Dan so much that he stumbled backward. Phil didn't let go and Dan found himself hugging Phil back just as tightly, burying his face in Phil's shoulder.

They both had so much too say, but they each elected to just hug each other tightly and sniffle, tears escaping each of their eyes.

"Please don't..." Phil stuttered out, after a moment. "Please don't do that again. I...I'm sorry for being so terrible, but please stay. Please don't go out and get hurt again."

Dan laughed coldly. "I deserve it."

Phil pulled back to look Dan in the face with tears in his own eyes. "Dan, you don't. No one does, but you especially don't. Anyone who's ever made you feel like you do is an asshole. Including Abby and I."

Dan sniffled, hugging Phil again. They hugged tightly again for a long while.

"I'm sorry I left," Dan eventually breathed out. "I was stupid, and scared, and being impulsive. I could never make it out there all alone."

"It's a scary world Dan, but I'll never let you face it alone, okay?" Phil asked.

Dan nodded, sniffling. They hugged yet again before finally leaving the doorway. Dan went to take a shower and pull on clean clothes, and Phil immediately when to the kitchen to scrounge up some food for Dan.

Dan walked into the kitchen and took the plate of food without looking at Phil. He walked into his room to eat, and Phil watched him walk off, biting his lip. Was Dan upset with him? He certainly had many reasons to be, but they'd just had a sort of make-up hadn't they? Phil supposed it wasn't always that easy.

~•~•~

As the days went by, Phil couldn't dote on Dan like he wanted to, having to return to his drug ties to make some cash. He worried all day while he was out that Dan might run away again. Phil had messed up and scared him and made him feel unwanted. Phil had probably taken advantage of him multiple times. Dan had every reason to be upset with him, and to want to leave. Phil just knew he wasn't going to last on the streets, and that with his current options, Phil was his best bet at survival.

Dan continued to avoid Phil. He wasn't mad at Phil, how could he be? How could he ever be? Phil was the one person who had shown Dan kindness. He was just scared. Scared of Phil realizing again that he was the reason Phil's life had been messed up. Scared of Phil making him feel weird things and making him remember what his touch felt like and how his lips tasted. Dan just wanted to survive. He couldn't end up falling for Phil or things would get complicated. He just needed to stay away for a while. At least until his feelings calmed down. So he ate alone in his room, and barely exchanged words with Phil.

Phil felt guilty every time Dan left to eat alone. He must have really messed up to get Dan this scared of him. If Dan hated him now, what would he do? What if Dan didn't want to live with Phil anymore? God, the poor thing would be much better off somewhere else. Some rich family who would pamper him and keep him safe. Of course, that would come with its own issues. Dan being treated as just a little show cat, or being made to do chores like a butler, or even having to give sexual favors to stick around. There was really no perfect solution to Dan's problems. If Phil did find a rich family who could take him in, it would feel like he was treating Dan as a pet, and he would have no way to know how the family might treat Dan without Phil around. As much as Phil hated himself right now, he trusted himself to make sure Dan wasn't hurt more than some stranger who wanted a pretty neko to keep.

Phil just wished he was a good enough person, not a deadbeat drug-dealer who was still caught up in his ex. He wished he had the money to take care of Dan properly. He wish he was a good enough person to make Dan feel safe and cared for.

Phil found himself crying in his bedroom, sitting against the bed. He didn't know who he was anymore. Before, he'd been fine being a drug-dealer who never tasted the merchandise and had dreams of figuring out a new path for himself, maybe something creative. Now, he wished he had anything that paid well and kept him off the streets. And he didn't know if he was even an okay person anymore.

His girlfriend left him and he immediately found a rebound in the neko he'd promised to take care of. Sure, Dan had wanted it, but his heat could probably make him say that to anyone. Phil had taken advantage of him when he was at his most vulnerable. And then Abby had come back, and he'd been so blind to her hurting Dan. And he'd cheated on her with Dan. All he'd done was hurt Abby which in turn hurt Dan, and he was so fucking confused.

He didn't want to hurt Dan anymore.

He didn't hear the door open, but he heard the footsteps when they got close to him. He hesitantly looked up to see Dan, looking torn, and kneeling down beside Phil. Phil sniffled, burying his face in his knees again.

Dan hesitated, before moving closer. He gently moved his head against Phil's knees, rubbing softly against them as he purred quietly. Phil glanced up, meeting Dan's wide eyes and let out a broken sob. He hesitantly reached out for Dan, slowly moving his hand to Dan's head and ears, petting softly, and so fucking gently. He can't hurt Dan. He can't.

"I'm so sorry," Phil cried quietly. "Dan, I'm so sorry. I..." He sniffled. "I don't even know who--who I am anymore," he sobbed.

"Phil," Dan murmured, curling up beside Phil who let his knees fall. "You're my owner. You take care of me, and I take care of you." He leaned his head against Phil's shoulder.

"You deserve a better home," Phil cried, laying a hand hesitantly on Dan's knee. "You're so damn sweet and amazing and you deserve to live with someone nice who will spoil you and take care of you, and make you feel safe."

Dan frowned. "But I want to stay here," he spoke.

"But I'm terrible Dan. I hurt Abby, and I hurt you, how can you possibly want to be around me?" Phil asked, brokenly.

Dan sighed. "Listen to me, Phil. You've been abused."

Phil frowned. "No, I, but you're the one who--"

"I was too, I know that, believe me," Dan replied, "But so have you. Not physically, at least not a lot, but I heard what Abby was saying when she was yelling at you. She knew just which strings to pull to hurt you, or to make you feel guilty, and she was so controlling from what I saw of you guys. There's not just physical abuse. There's emotional abuse. From what I heard of her, she seemed to be abusing you too. She guilt-tripped you, lied to you, played victim, bullied you, tried to change you, controll yours and my relationship...Phil, that's all abuse."

Phil bit his lip. He still didn't want to accept the fact that the girl he loved had been abusive towards Dan, but the idea that she could've been abusive to him was terrifying. But she had done all those things to him, far before he even met Dan. She'd make him feel guilty if he didn't do what she wanted, she'd make him feel inferior, like a bad boyfriend, had Phil constantly trying to prove himself. She always reminded him that she was basically holding him over financially. She made him feel like he was a chore to be around. She made him feel like he needed to do whatever she wanted to make it up to her. She didn't like him hanging around with anyone, constantly saying she didn't feel comfortable that he was bisexual and therefore attracted to everyone, and, in her words, 'more likely to cheat.' Come to think of it, she made Phil feel terrible half the time. But Phil kept forgetting all that when she was nice and they laughed and had fun. She made it seem like the bad times never even happened. She made it seem like Phil's insecurities where all in his head.

"Oh..." Phil murmured. "Oh my god," he realized, running his hands through his hair. "Since...since we moved in together she's been....Oh my god..."

Dan gently took one of Phil's hands from his hair and held it. "She's gone now," he promised. "And none of it was your fault, Phil. You're not a bad person, she was. She wanted to make you feel like you were."

Phil breathed out slowly. "Fuck," he murmured. "It's so hard to...she made me feel like I was never...fuck," he breathed out, tears now streaming silently down his cheeks.

"I know," Dan promised softly, sitting up beside Phil and guiding his head to Dan's chest, holding him there as he sniffled and cried. "I know," he repeated softly.

"So, I guess we're both fucked up victims, hm?" Phil asked, sniffling.

"No," Dan murmured, tail wrapping around them both, stroking Phil's back. "We're survivors."