WTTT Incorrect Quotes but it's just things that people in my real life have said
It's so long I'm so sorry 😭😭
Illinois, cleaning his shoes: Last time I wore these shoes I got apple butter on them..
Ohio: I remember that song. *singing* Apple butter shoes, boots with the fur.
New York, who forgot his phone in the car: I'm going to get my phone so I can ignore you for a minute.
South Carolina: Georgia and I are dressing at Waylon and Willie for Halloween!
North Carolina: I could be Johnny Cash and just lay there in a coffin... *To the tune of Hurt by NIN covered by Johnny Cash. Johnny Cash impression.* I hurt myself, today
Washington, helping Nevada with his math homework: Let's break it down
Nevada: I'll break it down *gets off of his chair and starts break dancing*
Kansas: That sounded like a car commercial...
Oklahoma: I can write car commercials all day long.
Maryland: Nothing says hot like harmonica!
(I have no context for this btw. My professor said it a couple weeks ago and I tuned into the conversation as soon as he said it and I have no idea what was happening before hand)
Ohio: And all of the sudden I heard an irritating, grading voice. And it was yours.
Illinois: My grandma has chickens, and she's obsessed with chickens.
Minnesota: Tell your grandma to call me.
Arizona: If you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go lock myself in the cooler.
Utah: Bang on the door if you need anything.
Florida: *lands on go to jail in Monopoly* Noooo in jail again!?
Gov: That's something we need to talk about. If you keep driving so fast you're going to end up in jail.
Florida: Oh I thought this was gonna be about me puking in the county jail parking lot...
California: What three characters have omniscience?
California: What four characters have omniscience?
Colorado: Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
Missouri: Guess what my dream car is
Washington: New York with the leadership skills!
New York: I just know where I'm going -_-
Washington: Say "I'm New York and I'm a baddie"
Texas: Can you count change? *Looks down at the change California gave him* You can!
California: I'm great at counting change, I used to do it for fun when I was little. Because I didn't have any friends.
Oregon: A Monster a day keeps the straightness away.
Nevada: You look like a clown.
California: Am I a pretty clown?
Gov, to Louisiana and Florida: I would stop whining so much if you two stopped drinking alcohol.
California: Sometimes your whining makes me wish I liked alcohol.
Florida: Gov, I'm helping!
Alabama: By... Making it harder?
Florida, singing: Everybody was kung fu fighting
New Jersey, to the tune Kung Fu Fighting: Everybody should shut the fuck up
Washington's cat: *killing a bug.*
Washington: "Rip in half! Rip in half! Rip in half! When I say "beat" you say "that ass" Beat! *Long pause, points to Oregkn* Fill in for him!
Oregon: *slowly turns around in his spinny chair*
Washington: Aw, come on! You can say donkey instead. Beat!
Washington: Fine. *dances out of the room* K-I-C-K-Y-O-A-S-S Oh yeeessss!
Maryland: *playing a cheap toy recorder on a make-shift stage*
Massachusetts: MORE COWBELL!!
California: I just love feeling like a menopausal woman.
Oregon, sick: The crystal ladies said if you got sick after the eclipse, it's your ancestors banishing evil from your body.
Idaho: They're praying the gay away
South Dakota: Wish me luck in war
Minnesota: You're not going to war, you're asking for a box
South Dakota: It's the same thing, damn it!
Alaska: Penny for your thoughts?
Hawaii: I don't have any pennies.
Alaska: I don't have any thoughts!
Louisiana: We can bring the baguette to and beat California with it...
Gov: If you could make any crime legal what would it be?
New York, Florida and Louisiana at the same time: Arson!
Gov: *mortified expression*
Iowa, about chicken: Are you a thigh person?
Nebraska: I like legs... ThEy TrIeD tO pUt Me On ThE cOvEr Of VoGuE bUt My LeGs WeRe ToO LONGGGGG!
Colorado: I need a stick!
California: I need a boyfriend, your point?
Colorado: ...Not that kind of stick.
Oregkn: In high school my favorite past time was kissing boys.
Washington: *turns to California* Is that your favorite past time too?
Texas: Why aren't bananas called yellows?
Florida: Because then Gwen Stefani couldn't use it in her song.
Louisiana: She'd just have to spell it different: This shit is yellows! Y-E-L-L-O-W-S!
California: He's gay and he committed suicide.
New York: He's you... Don't commit suicide, please.
California: I WILL BECOME A MUSICAL!
New York: NOOO DO NOT BECOME A MUSICAL!
North Carolina: I seriously hate you sometimes.
South Carolina Aww I love you too!
Vermont: You wanna know the biggest dingus I know?
Wisconsin: You're a yeasty beer
Illinois: You're a zesty beer
Wisconsin: Yeah well, your light in the loafers!
Arizona: *says something dumb*
Nevada: Shaking my as- shaking my head.
New York: *takes a drink of my pumpkin spice latte* Oh, that's delightful!
California: Look who's a white woman now?!
California: You basic white woman!
New York: I don't wanna talk about it...
Louisiana: *throws a packet of French dressing at Florida, in a French accent* French
Florida: AAAAA IT'S FRENCH!!!
Florida: Oh, I thought you were committing arson without me
Gov: If I ever decide to commit arson, I'll call you
Florida: Ah yes, my favorite crime, trespassing. I'm joking... it's not my favorite crime
Georgia: What is your favorite crime?
Arizona: Finally a good song
New Mexico: Then why do you keep playing bad ones?
*Either someone brought up Pedro Pascal*
California: He's the daddiest of daddies.
Texas: Don't say that ever again.
Maine: There are more animals on the planet than humans and just think you could have been born a crab, but you were born a human"
Maryland: I wish I was a crab, then I could be crabby all day long
Maine: I'm all ready crabby all day long
Maryland: Yeah but if you were a crab you could crawl around and pinch people *walks away sideways with hands held like pinchers*
Alaska: Why are you getting cologne
Hawaii: I want to smell like a masc lesbian.
California: I've had morning sickness for the past five years
Florida: Are you pregnant-
Washington: You can choose what you eat, whether it's vegetables, meat, or ass.
Nevada: *dying laughing* That threw me off guard.
New York: PA, your turn to tell a word that means something bad
Pennsylvania: Would you consider emotional manipulation bad?
New Jersey: Yeah, I mean no, it turns me on
Pennsylvania: I guess my mom will really turn you on then
Tennessee: Don't panic but there's a spider on your-
Kentucky: *Proceeds to scream bloody murder*
Virginia: *sniffs bread.*
Virginia: "It's sourdough."
New York: You know I'm insane, right?
California: I'm aware, but I don't care. It's one of your redeeming qualities.
