Midlife Cabernet

I appreciate this cartoon by theawkwardyeti.com because my brain keeps trying to make my heart function at full capacity, but it’s too weary. I’ve have been diagnosed with Non-Ischemic Cardiomyopathy heart disease exacerbated by Occipital Neuralgia migraine headaches with a nasty helping of Takotsubo Cardiomyopathy, literally a broken heart. According to Johns Hopkins Medicine, Broken Heart…

1. Julia was ten years old when her mother smacked her over the head with a tube of Pillsbury refrigerator biscuits. The can ruptured and eight Southern Homestyle clumps of molded dough wiggled from her brown hair onto the floor. “Aha!” exclaimed her mother as she picked up the dough and arranged the raw biscuits on a cookie sheet. “That’s how you open these pesky cans.” Helen had followed…

  Echocardiogram Machine After clearing U.S. Customs on June 20, I rushed through the Los Angeles airport to catch my flight home to Idaho. Suddenly, I couldn’t breathe. I maneuvered my carry-on suitcase to the nearest chair and fell into it, panting for air. One thought repeated through my mind: Get home. An airline employee noticed my predicament and called for a wheelchair. My guardian angel…

Children’s Books Feature Gay Marriage and Flying Potatoes

Drag King Storytime in Boise To celebrate Pride Month, Rediscovered Books in Boise invited two members of the LezBe Kings group to read to children for Drag King Storytime to compliment activities of the national Drag Queen Story Hour. According to its website, Drag Queen Story Hour is a national organization that organizes events at libraries and schools and “captures the imagination and play of…

New Video for Award-Winning Children’s Book

“Melody” Wins Distinguished Award for Children’s Fiction

          The 2021 Independent Press Awards announced today Melody’s Magical Flying Machine by Idaho author Elaine Ambrose is the Distinguished Favorite winner in the Children’s Fiction category. Judges evaluated entries from around the world, and the Children’s Fiction category received thousands of submissions. The Awards celebrate and recognize key titles representing excellence in global…

Do You have an End-of-Life Plan?

I’m going to die. Probably not today, but someday. A few of my surviving relatives would prefer to toss my dead body into the river and celebrate with a party, but I’ve made legal arrangements for my proper burial. There still will be a glorious celebration. End-of-Life Policy I have a policy through Bankers Life Insurance that pays $15,000 at my death. The beneficiary is a cute guy I call…

How to Creatively Write Your Story

A Naked Perspective from the Floor

Last Friday, I fell while getting out of the shower, hit the hard tile floor with enough force to cause a seismic reaction, and damaged my ego and my well-worn body in less than two seconds. I hollered from the pain. The scene duplicated the well-known commercial of the woman who has fallen and can’t get up, except I didn’t have a camera crew to rescue me. I was alone, couldn’t reach my cell…

I’m a goofy grandmother from Idaho who enjoys making humorous memes. The only profit I receive or want is from laughs and likes from readers. I recently posted a meme on Facebook and Instagram, and the super-sensitive censors on Instagram instantly slapped a warming on it. A few people said my meme was removed from their timeline. Here is the horrible, offensive meme: In my opinion, a good…

It’s All Greek to Me

Studley and I got married on the Greek island of Paros. To plan for the event, I tried to copy the wedding scene from the movie “Mamma Mia!” but we didn’t want to sing to each other on a narrow, windy ledge overlooking the sea. He can’t sing, and I can’t swim. We chose a safe but picturesque chapel beside the Mediterranean Sea. After our ancient Greek wedding, we enjoyed a week on Paros. One day…

To the Girl at the Bus Stop

Early one morning I followed the blinking, lumbering school bus on its routine route to pick up students. Always a people-watcher, I studied the colorful collection of boisterous Middle School students waiting at each stop. Then I saw her – the girl standing alone. She was me, more than 50 years ago. Her disheveled brown hair was wild and frizzy, her clothes weren’t stylish, she wore big black…

Bag Balm is NOT an Aphrodisiac

I own night gowns that date back to the Clinton Administration. My favorite slippers have shuffled me toward my coffee pot since the Eurythmics sang “Sweet Dreams are Made of This.” And, I can’t part with my favorite robe that I wore when laughing at Johnny Carson before signing off on the Tonight Show. After a certain age, most women have earned the right to crave comfort with lounge clothes…

Can We Laugh Again Before Summer?

Some of you are getting crabby, and it’s not a good look. My New Year’s Resolution is to laugh at least once a week until I snort liquid out my nose. It’s a noble goal. Ages ago, well maybe last year, I presented humorous speeches and enjoyed sharing laughter with my audience. Now, I peer at little boxes of faces on a Zoom webinar workshop and try to engage positive conversation while I manage a…

Riding Shotgun through a Blizzard in an 18-Wheeler

During the winter of my junior year at the University of Idaho, harsh storms dumped a record amount of snow on northern Idaho. My parents sent me an airplane ticket to fly the 400-mile distance from Lewiston to Twin Falls to come home for Christmas, but I arrived in Lewiston and the airport was closed due to bad weather. I called Dad and he said to call back in thirty minutes. I called back and…

Idaho Author Donates Books and Toys to Special Olympics

Books and Toys Donated to Special Olympics Idaho Bestselling author Elaine Ambrose donated 50 signed copies of her new children’s book, Melody’s Magical Flying Machine, to Special Olympics Idaho. The donation included 100 toys made from a 3D printer and a check for $2,000. The toys and books will be given to children during the holidays. In the book, a 10-year-old girl with Down syndrome uses a…

Find Myself on Your Shelf

Flummoxed and bewildered about what to give for Christmas, Hanukkah, or any other celebration of choice? Buy and give books! Books last for years, they aren’t fattening, and they allow you to escape beyond your quarantined bedroom. I have a dozen award-winning, bestselling books in three genres: humor, memoir, and children’s books. Buy them, and we’ll all be happy. #1 New Release My latest book,…