yomama

TXT:

1. you make my heart an art class <3

beomgyu x reader, fluff

Synopsis: Having the courage to open up your heart to love is a step you've never taken. The risks just outweigh the rewards too much in your brain, even if the reward can be the cutest guy you've ever seen. But doesn't fate have a say in this stuff too?

&TEAM:

1. Fate's Overrated

maki x reader

It was a very hot afternoon. The kind of afternoon where anyone else would be thanking God that they were inside a classroom with air conditioning. You weren’t though. The air conditioner didn’t really work for you. You were sweating buckets from nervousness alone. Beomgyu hadn’t turned around the entire class. You only get to see him once every Wednesday at the art class that you guys have in common. He would turn and look around once in a while, you’d catch each other’s eyes, and then nervously look away. It was almost like a routine. But all you were doing this Wednesday was looking at the back of his head. God, even the back of his head looked handsome.

You must have talked to him, maybe, once? That is if you count the squeaky “I’m sorry” that you could barely force out of yourself after bumping into him on the first day of class.

He seemed like a pretty shy person. It’s not like he didn’t have any friends; you’ve seen him walking around campus with his friends. He looked like a completely different person around them though. Goofy in the most adorable way possible, like a puppy that’s out for a walk for the first time ever, and outspoken in way you’d have never imagined from his classroom ‘quiet guy’ persona. You caught his eye once when he was with one of his freakishly tall friends. He instantly went quiet, as if on cue, and fully turned in the opposite direction. What were you even supposed to make of that?!

“I think he’s just too shy to talk to you”, your best friend had said, the day of that incident, while you were idling around on your dorm couch at night.

“What if he hates me and thinks I’m creepy cause I keep staring at him in class? What if he thinks I’m a psycho that’s obsessed with him or something?”

“Aren’t you though?”, she said, and you’re not completely sure that she was joking.

“Do you wanna get hit in the head?”, you said, throwing a pillow at her.

“In all seriousness though, why don’t you just talk to him?”

This is a question you’ve asked yourself quite a few times too. If you were being completely honest, you were scared. Scared that he won’t like you back. Or worse, that he’ll say he does and it’ll be a lie. To you, or maybe himself. That’s a pretty common fear though. No, you were also frying much bigger fish here. You were scared for a whole plethora of reasons that didn’t really have anything to do with him honestly. The actual reason was that you were too accustomed to your routine. Talking to him meant change. Change in your life, your thoughts. You wake up in the morning, take a shower, make your coffee, and you go about your day. That’s your routine. You liked your routine. It kept you sane, it was peaceful. Letting him into your life, fully, meant changes to that routine that you won’t be able to control, no matter how hard you try. Wondering whether you will see him today, talk to him, whether he will talk to you, wondering what he’ll think when you tell him stories from your hometown. Letting him into your life meant adjusting his routine around your routine. Have you mentioned that you like your routine? What is the guarantee his life will fit in your life? What if it doesn’t and all the effort just becomes a waste of your time. Or worse, it becomes a waste of his time.

But that’s a lot to unpack so you just shrug and say, “Not worth the risk I guess”.

That’s what you’ve always said. Your entire life. It was obviously a lie.

And as you are sitting here in class, religiously staring at the back of his head, it’s all that you can think about.

Unknown to you though, the reason Beomgyu is not turning around today, is because he’s scared. Turning around and looking at you is the only thing he can think of right now, but he’s restraining himself with every bit of strength that he has in his bones. Getting to see you, and maybe even talk to you one day, is like 70% of the reason he shows up to this class in the first place. The first day of class, when you bumped into him, gave him that awkward yet adorable smile, he knew he was a goner. Ever since then, he has been, in his friend’s words, ‘pining’ for you. But unfortunately for him, he’s not the best at interactions. That’s more his friends’ department. And it didn’t really help that every time he turned around to look at you, or spotted you around campus, you looked at him like you would rather be having a stroke than look at his face. His friends say he’s exaggerating but he swears that’s what it looks like to him. It never stopped him from turning around to catch a glimpse though. He just couldn’t help himself.

The reason he’s not turning around today though, is because Taehyun got in his head about how you probably find it creepy that a random guy just keeps looking at you for no reason and how he needs to dial it down or he’s gonna catch himself a court order. Can’t argue it with, he’d find it creepy too. And it’s not like you ever gave him any clear signals too. But he could swear that at times he caught you looking at him while turning his head in your direction. That’s one thing he couldn’t explain and also what kept him a little hopeful he can’t lie.

Just then the teacher cleared her throat. The entire class knew what was coming. Great, something to take your mind off of this mess.

“Soo… I have exciting news”, the teacher said. The entire classroom perked up. One thing you absolutely love about art class is that everyone who’s there, genuinely wants to be there. You all collectively look forward to the creative assignments your professor gives you. Art, for every artist, is a way of expression. And the assignments give that expression a direction.

“I am going to partner each of you with a person from this class. I want you guys to hang out, get to know each other, have some deep talks, share some fears, try to understand each other. Then I want you to paint what getting to know that person felt like to you. I want you to, in your own way and sense, try to capture the essence of being with that person in your paintings. Expression is a very core part of art so I want you to be able to express your life and the things around you in your own personal way.”

Beomgyu nearly jumped out of his seat. He had never been much for praying but in that moment, he decided he would genuinely become a devout if you were made his partner. Because there would be no other explanation for that. It would have to be a blessing from above. He crossed both of his fingers. He would cross his toes if he wasn’t wearing shoes.

You on the other hand were almost hyperventilating. Just the thought of being possibly partnered up with Beomgyu was making you genuinely see stars. You were excited, nervous, anticipating. You were feeling every single emotion that you were capable of feeling in that moment.

Just then the teacher started announcing the names of the partners. Your name came up after three pairs.

What were you hoping for? Did you want it to be him? Did you not want it to be him? You weren’t sure. One thing that was clear though, was that you had your fingers crossed for both of your hands. Doesn’t that say a lot?

“Y/n and… Beomgyu”, the teacher said with an unusual perk that you would’ve noticed if it weren’t for the whirlwind going on in your stomach.

This time Beomgyu did actually jump out of his seat, looked around awkwardly realizing what he had done, and then quietly sat back down. He’d feel embarrassed in any normal situation, but this was no normal situation. He was literally living his daydreams. He pinched himself, just in case, to make sure.

After class, he appeared in front of your seat in record time, he even shocked himself.

“Hey, I’m Beomgyu. We’re.. uh partnered together for the assignment I think?” Very smooth you absolute loser idiot, he thought to himself.

You looked up at him, and then, nothing. You did nothing. You just looked at him. Like you were petrified or something. You tried to speak, you knew what to say, you opened your mouth, and then nothing. Nothing came out. There was a lump in your throat that you could not seem to get rid of no matter how hard you swallowed.

His brows started to furrow. He started panicking.

“Yeah”, a pause that under normal circumstances could be ignorable, but here felt like a valley of distance between the both of you. “Yeah I’m sorry hii I’m y/n”, you finally managed something, this has to call for a celebration.

To Beomgyu, this whole altercation felt like someone was keeping you on gunpoint. So, he did what he thought was the sensible thing to do. “You look uncomfortable. Do you want me to talk to the teacher about switching partners?”, because genuinely what else was he supposed to do here. He was convinced you despised him.

That sent your brain into a frenzy. He hates me, he wants to get rid of me, getting partnered with me is a bother to him.

And then it hit you. Straight to your head like a brick but instead of bleeding your dry, it woke you up.

No. This was a crazy opportunity that was just thrown into your lap. Just like that. You’ve never been too brave. All you’ve ever been is scared. But how long can you live your life like that? At what point do you just have to stand up for once in your goddamn life and experience something? You’ve read tales of star-crossed lovers, torn apart by fate and all their other thousand enemies. But this? Just a stupid painting assignment. And you’re seriously gonna run away from it just because you can’t bring yourself to trust yourself with trying? Pathetic. No, this has to start somewhere.

“No, it’s nothing like that. I was just a little zoned out that’s all. I’d love to get to know you. For the assignment.”

Beomgyu had to physically contain himself from actually jumping, shouting, and running around the classroom right now. He was talking to you. This was so insane for him. You were talking to him. You said that you wanted to do the assignment with him.

You exchanged contacts and he practically went frolicking out the door.

You stood there for a second to take a few breaths. The way you were beaming and feeling proud of yourself you’d think you had single handedly overthrown a corrupt government or something. All you did was say a few stuttering words to your crush. But damn if you didn’t feel like you had concurred the world right there.

As you made your way towards the exit of the classroom, you caught your teacher’s eyes. She gave you a very playful wink and then went back to going over what you’re guessing are the paintings from the last assignment.

Huh? Wait a minute. What was that?

That confused you. Was it fate or was it just an over-meddling teacher?

Whatever it was, you were glad for it.

You put in your headphones, hit shuffle, and started making your way to your dorm building.

“If you want to ask me how I am

Don’t hesitate

Cause you’re my cru-cru-crush…”

I should not make this about myself. I can not make this about myself.

That was the only thing I thought the entire way to the venue. I repeated it to myself as many times as possible. As if trying to convince myself to be a decent human being for once.

I’m only supposed to be there for Ellie and Nico. That was the only reason I was going. I’m supposed to avoid talking to him, looking at him, even breathing in his general direction. I should know better than to jump back into this insanity.

God, I need a distraction from all this overanalysing. This is so not me. I’m the most ‘do first, think second’ person that I know. Well, second to only one. The person that’s got me so out of character.

My phone dings on the passenger seat, as if on command. I turn my head to check- reckless, I know, sue me I’m not thinking straight. Ellie.

I really do not deserve this perfect angel of a human being. It’s her rehearsal dinner and she’s more worried about my mental sanity than this exponentially scary, life altering decision she’s making. But I guess it must not be that daunting of a thing if you’re making the decision with someone who finds you despite all your dark places. I guess life has ways to make a believer out of people.

It’s kinda funny to think how her and Nico literally met because of Riki and me. Oh yeah, absolutely hilarious. Hilarious enough that I could drive this car straight into a ditch.

As I pulled into the parking lot, I check to see if I could see Riki’s car anywhere. Some might call it obsessive; I call it cautionary. No sign of my demise. Awesome. Guess I can atleast step out of the car with ease.

I get out of the car into the warm summer breeze. If I don’t die of Riki withdrawals, I will definitely die of heatstroke.

“Hey”

Oh no. Oh no no no. This cannot be happening this early. I haven’t even gotten a few drinks in. No. This was not the plan.

I seriously contemplate just making a run for it and then hiding behind a curtain the rest of the night but, unfortunately, that is not a socially acceptable way of reacting (or so I’ve been told), so I turn around to face him. “Oh hi. What’s up man?”

What’s up man?? WHAT’S UP MAN?! Now would I say that?!

Oh. His hair’s black again.

FLASHBACK:

“You look very German when you’re blond”, you say while running your fingers through his hair.

“That might be cause I am German you know?”

“Yea but you like really look it when you’re blond”

It was a quiet kind of afternoon. The kind of afternoon where your boyfriend’s laughter sounded like how you imagine the image of a thousand daisies in the sun would sound like. All was good and well and you were glad. Like really glad. Until you weren’t.

A sudden ding from your phone. His eyes wandering towards it. You unconsciously covering it. And it all exploded.

“Why’d you cover it?”, he sounded confused, but his face betrayed it. He looked hurt. You hated that look. It made you feel a sharp pain in your chest.

“I didn’t mean to, it’s more like a habit”, it didn’t help your case that you sounded defensive.

“Well then go ahead, show it to me”, he said, almost laughing, but not quite.

“Not gonna if you ask me like that. All this time and you still can’t bring yourself to trust your girlfriend? That’s really good to know dude.”

This particular fight didn't escalate a lot, but you could tell it was all building up. You just didn't know exactly when it would explode.

MAKI'S PERSPECTIVE:

“Oh hi. What’s up dude?”

Wow she really hasn’t changed all that much. That’s good to know. That means I’ve still got a shot.

This moment right here was all I thought about the entire bus ride over. Yea I took the bus, for purposes you will soon find out.

I knew I wanted her back the moment we separated. Like I felt it in my bones. I couldn’t live without her. Without her laugh. Without her touch. Without her oddly specific remarks about oddly specific things. I needed her. But I couldn’t just go back like a puppy in the rain. No. I needed her to remember why she needed me. And what better time than when everyone’s celebrating love and loyalty and whatever else bullshit these things pretend to be about?

You see, I understood very early that the talk is just the talk. It doesn’t get you anywhere, except maybe a really nice poem. No, to actually get love, you have to pull the strings a little. Or tug, if you will. As much as it is nice to believe that fate just happens to people, it’s really not how it works. In order for fate to help you, you kinda have to tempt the hell out of it.

“You look beautiful”, cause I have to use a more ‘dignified’ word right now.

She gives the cutest shy smile and says, “You clean up nice too”. I could melt away right now and I’d thank God that this smile was the last thing I saw.

Here goes my speech. “Hey listen, I know things didn’t really end on the best of terms and it’s awkward between us, but I just want everything to go smoothly for Nico and Ellie. And also, it’s been eating me alive so I just wanted to apologize for the way I behaved last time. I was insecure and acted really immaturely, and there’s no excuse for it but yea I just had to get this off my chest.”

Shit I think that might’ve sounded too polished for me.

She didn't seem to mind it. “Yea I want things to go smoothly for them too, they deserve it. And there’s really no reason for us to still be stuck up on this right?”

Oh, sweet darling, but there is.

And that was that. We parted ways with a smile. A little underwhelming I must say.

The rest of the night went, well, uneventful. The rehearsal dinner was beautiful, they out-did themselves. I can’t even imagine what the wedding’s going to be like. I was happy for them. They deserved every bit of this happiness; they fought hard for it in their own ways.

But the event itself was the least of my concerns. I didn’t see y/n the entirety of the rest of the night. Maybe not today then.

Just as I was heading out after saying goodbye to the happy couple, I heard someone crying from the balcony. It’s definitely her. I could recognize that anywhere.

I make my way to the balcony because, why else am I here? Don’t get me wrong, all love to Nico and Ellie, but this is the bigger priority.

“Are you alright?”

She turned around, cheeks completely flushed red. She’s drunk?

“Am I alright? Does it matter?”, hiccup, “You seem perfectly well though. Gooood to knoooow”. She’s slurring her words a little. God, she’s so adorable.

“You seem pretty drunk y/n. Is there anyone to take you home?”

“There sure used to be”, another hiccup.

“Okay I can’t leave you here alone. I’m taking you home. Give me your keys” Now you see the intent of the bus.

She shook her head and then pointed to her clutch.

I sling one of her arms over my shoulders and start carrying her outside.

Y/N'S PERSPECTIVE:

Oh? He actually bought that? Phew that could’ve gone either way. Dude really needs to learn the concept of blush.

I shouldn’t make this about me, I can’t make this about me.