i try to stay positive through whatever. i try to live up to peopleโs standards whenever i can. i smile whenever itโs appropriate too, even though iโm only pretending to. i always try to do the โrightโ thing.. even though many times it really felt like the wrong thing. i try to show up for people. i attempt to show up, and look good, for the person people believe me to be. this person who, i believe, is sacred and supreme. god, isnโt she celestial? isnโt she lovely? i believe they think iโm someone who they wanna be a little something alike. and i think to myself.. โthey donโt want this fight.โ this mind game. this psyche. looking at shit different these days, likeโ i might be paying karma itโs last dues.. but i feel like i got too much more to do. i can hear death singing her song in my ear, and boy do her blues sound pretty. likeโ she really put the time in. she really got me feeling some kind of way. likeโ could somewhere else be a better place? i get bored too often here. i wanna jump off from here. wanna feel the breeze and see the beauty as iโm falling. then i wanna panic until the parachute rises to catch me. i wanna trust for once. wouldnโt that be the right thing to do? to have faith in something even if there is no landing safely? canโt say i truly even care if iโll land safely. more concerned if iโll land alone. see, thatโs my issue. needing to be in control. needing to narrate a love story because i was taught thatโs all that will ever matter. love. even when, throughout my life, i canโt say thatโs what mattered most.
prguitarman
theartofmadeline
dededos
annaxmalina
jacobvanloon
gummygunk
pixelskylines
kaledo-art
