The Unabdridged Journals of Niccoló A.

I wonder

what was unsaid

I am a man with ears and years of forlorn .

I am the farthest from the innocence

yet the closest to the holy .

I am the vision of peace and the smell apostasy .

I cannot give you towers vel riches .

Now that I think about it I suppose when comparing myself to angels I do see some similarities. Devoted, though to different persons, yet nonetheless parallel. Yet I mock them, saying that they waste their time devoting to a God that does not love them back with a bitter taste in my tongue even though I begged on my knees the way they did worshipping a false idol, only mine had long black hair and poison-filled eyes. Atleast their god pretended to love.

Angels and I may not be so different after all.

Added on to that awkward realization, I am unfortunately forced to celebrate it due to my exclusively Catholic/Christian household. This does not diminish my beliefs. Why? Because I don't partake in prayers and try to avoid mingling too much into the festive activities. I just simply partake in what is necessary and enjoy it while I can. It feels like I'm a cat in a group of wolves and somehow they haven't figured it out yet and torn me apart. I don't know. I'm just having fun while it lasts.

I'm learning by the days, but I only know how to love like a mother.

I'll take you to where you want, but I'll make sure we'll argue on the way there and give you silent treatment.

I'll help you make your project, but I'll get mad when you tell me I'm doing it wrong and tell you to do it on your own "if you really know so much".

I'm trying to change. I'm trying to recover.

I try to be proud of others now matter the results, and I always help out without any unnecessary comments.

Sometimes I can't help but scowl or let a comment slip.

I liked this a lot.

art dump because I want it GONE.