Mr Mr Hulf

Hey Tumble. Honestly Tumble, I'm really not sure how to write in words how I'm feeling right now, a mix of lost, empty and alone for a start. I guess not everything feels real, how so much is different to what I actually wanted/planned in November. Still no need teeth due to the dentist booking me in when their lab is closed. Got my other operation next week which will be interesting, though least I go on holiday next month. The new gym cannot come quick enough, starting to feel like I'm ballooning, really need to get back to being strict with veganism, was doing wonders for me. I think Tumble, for the first time in a long time, I don't know where I'm going or headed. What I wanted has gone and other things aren't in place anymore plus the times of joy and happiness only seem to be temporary. I'm trying Tumble, I just hope I can get back to a place of pure happiness once again

Hey Tumble, hows tricks? I'm still feeling a bit lost Tumble and I hate how theres a few really good things going on but a part of my just isn't as happy as I should and want to be. Been dating a girl for a few weeks, really cool and everything I could ask for, but I'm not feeling that magic spark and I don't know why. Am I not ready to be with someone yet? Work is really hit and miss, love working with the new content manager, but I've still got a feeling of dread about next season. Not only that but I feel like I know I won't do it forever, so while I'm doing it, I'll do it for as long as I can and to save as much as I can. Also still worried about my family's health, things in my flat and another operation next month. Though 2 or 3 holidays in June is a win

Hi Tumble. I know, I know, been a few days, I'm sorry. Hows the kids? Bit of a different week for me Tumblr, smto save massive paragraphs I'll break it down for you. - getting better with veg, broccoli and kale most, carrots slowly, cauliflower no. - making more smoothies, but my god seeds suck. - still no top teeth, but my gums have almost healed! 9 weeks this Friday - might be going on 3 holidays in June, which would be awesome - Got a date tomorrow, like an actual one, not like the one I went on 2 years ago - Saw the specialist today, gotta have an operation. But yay to no cancer! - Really want to buy my first pair of sunglasses for the summer So yeah. Definitely a better week, spirits are improving, just hope this continues

Hey Tumble, hows it going? Cooked my first roast today, not bad I must say. Slowly but surely getting more veg into me and slowly getting rid of all dairy and meat. Feeling very distant today Tumble, feeling a bit sad about how different the year has been to how it was planned in December. Just want the next few months out of the way, see how things are come July.

Hey Tumble, only me. So I had my ecg today along with my blood tests, touch wood nothing bad is up. Feeling ok at the moment, was nice to have a rarenight with just my flat mate. Bit quiet this week with the players on holiday. Fancy sending me some things to do? Though that said I am strongly considering getting a guitar tumble, would be the first time in 9 years IMd own an electric! But we'll see

Hey Tumble, I'm having another incredible alone evenings, send me a french bulldog?

Hi Tumble. Tonight was different, tonight we actually had a couple of people round! Albeit the flatmate's brother and friend, but actual people! And although it was an ok night, things just aren't the same anymore. I don't laugh like I used to, I don't enjoy my time like I did, I just feel like I'm drifting now. Again, I can't help but feel these stem back to the wrong choices and decisions I've made the last few years, something I know all too well and will spend my life with it on my shoulders. I hope I find this happiness again, I lonely enough as it is Tumble.

Hey Tumble, did you enjoy the beautiful day we had today? Today I really miss the coast. After my time at Palace is done I will move back down there, either to Portsmouth or Eastbourne. I'm 31 this year, I'd still love to have a family before I'm 35 and the coast would be perfect to raise my son and/or daughter. Will this happen? No idea. But I know one way or another I need to move back there within the next couple of years.

Hi Tumble, good evening? Today I actually didn't feel too bad, I'm putting it down to more sleep, less crap food and getting on with things. Fair to say this year hasn't gone overly too well, yes I finally got my own flat and new gear, but away from them it's been pretty dire. Hopefully today can act as a turning point

Hey Tumble, I had my dr's appointment. Gotta go for an ecg, blood tests and being sent to a specialist. Today has not been a good day 😔

Hey Tumble, just checking in with today's thoughts and feelings. How was your weekend? Firstly I forget how much I miss having weekends and how much I'd love to have nights out on Saturday with a partner and lazy Sunday mornings with them. Secondly and more importantly, I've got the doctors in the mornings for all my checkups and I'm shitting it. My first proper checkup since I turned 30 and one that will hopefully go to plan. I get my new teeth within 2 weeks or so, so I'm hoping medically things start going well now.

Hey Tumble, it's been a few days. I'm not doing too good Tumble, I'm falling deeper and struggling to see a way out. I've got the doctors on Monday for a few check ups and to see if they can help. I hate this feeling, I hate that I'm back here. I'm trying Tumble, one way or another

Hi Tumble, how was your evening? Instead of writing the negatives and downs in my life, I'll write about a little win today. We all need little wins afterall. So I went and saw Logan tonight, which is incredible! While leaving the cinema I got a free Logan artsy poster, win! It's now on my wall. It's only something small, but for a few hours I smiled again and forgot everything negative going on.