Every time I get hurt by a man, I donβt get mad at him. I only get mad at myself. I literally canβt be mad at anyone else because at the end of the day, Iβm the one who recognized his shitty, toxic, mean behaviors and chose to ignore them. I know when someone is going to be a bad person for me, but donβt do anything about it because I think everyone deserves a fair chance. I dismiss my seeing their red flags as overthinking, judging them before I get to know them, even though Iβm perfectly aware that that is me noticing a pattern and not just me making an assumption. I always always always know better but always always always give the benefit of the doubt and the opportunity to be proven wrong. Doing so always screws me over and bites me in the ass and gives me more things to work through and heal from, but Iβd rather be the girl who gives people a chance than the girl who thinks no one deserves one. I know my worth, yes, but I also see worth in other people. It is not within me to turn someone away. It is not within me to give the cold shoulder. It is not within me to not show love where I think itβs needed. I wish it was. It would save me so much heartbreak and so many tearsβI cry even as I write this, not just because my feelings are hurt yet again, but because I feel like such a fucking idiot. Still, I just cannot do that to other human beings, even when I know I should to protect myself; it makes me feel so awful, so sick, and so guilty. I just canβt do that to people. This is simultaneously something that makes me love myself and absolutely despise myself at the same time. And I have no idea what to do about it. I suppose all I can do is keep overextending kindness and hope that one day itβs not for nothing.
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baratheonpilled
yousharknotpass
annaxmalina
tangentwithtanner
origamiaround
