🌙 mia

lips: scaramouche, ayato, kaeya, pantalone. 

cheek: kazuha, venti, columbina, sandrone. 

forehead: ei, ayaka, signora, mona. 

neck: childe, rosaria, xiao, dottore. 

inner wrist: ZHONGLI, shenhe, yae miko, albedo.

you basically just see this floating over his head. the intensity of his reaction would depend on how exactly you figured this out, because unless you were in an intimate relationship that went south due to scaramouche's many insecurities, it's unlikely he'd ever open up about that aspect of himself to you. it might be possible to piece things together if you're from inazuma or lived there a long time, having heard the rumors surrounding shakkei pavilion.

it wouldn't go over real well. he wouldn't snap at you or get obviously indignant, it's more of this... silent seething. as if he's daring you to continue pushing the subject. scaramouche is far from at peace with his past. in your eyes, he wants to be perfect, untouchable, a divine being that is far above the rest. the humiliation that comes from you knowing he was, in essence, discarded by his creator, is scathing. burns him up from the inside out.

so it'd be in your best interest to pick a new conversation piece.

“oh, why don’t you go ask childe instead, since you’re both apparently so chummy.” 

and

“i’m sure you’d much rather get his help instead of mine. let me guess, coming to me is your last resort, isn’t it?” 

scaramouche held off on his advances toward you for some time.

he didn’t understand what brought on this odd fixation. at first, he could write it off as a minor inconvenience; he’s always found some humans to be more interesting than others. that, he could make sense of. the audacity you must have to approach a dangerous individual such as himself is both foolish and amusing. he entertains your silly conversations, not for any goodwill on his behalf, he reasons, but because you serve to alleviate his boredom. the moment you cease to do that, he’ll rid himself of you and move on. it’s as simple as that. there’s nothing he’s more familiar with than being tossed aside once you no longer have value. he’s merely carrying on the tradition.

he was certain that day would come eventually. when he’d no longer turn his head to better hear your voice, because the sound he once found mildly endearing turned shrill. no such change occurred. if anything, he now met you halfway when you ran to greet him, or would even create excuses to follow when you had to leave. the conversations he once let you carry started to earn more animated responses from him. there were instances he’d find himself so caught up in the most meaningless debates that you insisted on started and wonder, what is it he’s doing? or, to be more specific, what is it you’re doing to him?

and why does he enjoy it so much?

scaramouche held off on his advances toward you for some time. 

exist

aside from obvious answers such as anything relating to initiating physical contact, something that really gets him riled up is when you say so and so reminded you of him. it's so basic a gesture that even he doesn't understand why it impacts him to the degree it does. should he ever give introspection a shot, which is unlikely, he'd realize the quiet intimacy of it explains the appeal. beneath his layers of pride that'd claim otherwise, he thinks you rejoice when he isn't present. which is very likely true. nonetheless, he's able to push this sentiment further down with better success if you say that magical sentence.

he has this uncanny ability to translate the most basic statements into the most extreme. some examples include:

"i enjoyed my time with this person today."

"this person is better than you in every conceivable way. also, i hate you. just in case you were wondering. i sure do love this person though. what a shame you aren't them! sucks to be you, i guess."

"oh, you're back."

"well, my evening is all but ruined now that i've had the immense displeasure of laying eyes on you. great. thanks. i think i feel sick to my stomach now. also, i still hate you. much more than usual."

but on the flip side of that:

"this made me think about you."

"even though you weren't around, you're embedded enough in my mind for me to think about you unprompted. i made a note to remember this and tell you about it later too. i just can never get you out of my head."

Childe

Childe goes for the classic fake out, further proving that you’ll never catch a break. He’ll seemingly be out like a light, an arm loosely thrown over your waist, snoring softly into the pillow. You can even say his name a few times and he won’t budge. However, the second you start to wriggle out of his hold, it turns ironclad. The air is all but knocked out of your lungs from the strength behind his grip. He’ll then whisper in this husky, low voice, where do you think you’re going? So much for that. He occasionally makes jokes that he might need to buy some chains if you keep getting rowdy at night. At least, you think they’re jokes because he laughs at them, but you get a sense he might be serious. He favors resting his chin atop your head and holding you flush against his chest from that point onward. Good luck trying to get out of his hold, it’s not going to happen. 

Diluc

In true repressed Victorian ‘gentleman’ fashion, he doesn’t dare sleep in the same bed as you unless you specifically request it. Even then, he has his reservations. He was already struggling to maintain a veneer of propriety when you were clothed in layers from head to toe, now he’s got to stay strong when you’re wearing flimsy night clothes…? Of course, he’ll never reveal this as the reason behind his hesitation. Since you’re got him wrapped around your little finger, if you keep on insisting, he’ll give in eventually. Having him around is honestly not a bad idea in the winter, he radiates warmth. He’s so determined to stay on his side of the bed that you wonder if he thinks the world itself would end should he cross the invisible divide. You’ll very rarely wake up to him in the mornings since he’s such a busy man, but when you do, you’ll discover his hand had found yours sometime during the night. His face will turn the same shade as his hair when he learns of this. 

Kaeya

One might think the Calvary Captain runs low on energy when a day full of his schemes comes to its conclusion, but it’s quite the opposite. He thinks that this makes for a great time to catch up with you. He’ll slide under the covers and regale you with the shenanigans he’s witnessed lately. What’s annoying about it is that he’s such a naturally gifted storyteller, so you can’t help but get invested, no matter how hard you try to project apathy. You’ve learned more about the people of Mondstadt during his subjugation than you have living there for years. He’ll get to the juiciest part of a story and then leave you hanging unless you cuddle with him. If you have trouble sleeping, he’s unexpectedly good at soothing the issue, he’ll play with your hair and whisper in that deep voice of his until you’re out for the night. It’s probably the closest thing to tenderness without any ulterior motive that you’ll ever get from him. 

Zhongli

Zhongli’s more inclined to work around your preferences than the others, to an extent. He feels it’s advantageous for you to feel in charge when it comes to smaller details, so you’re more willing to overlook the control he has over the rest of your life. If you’re willing to sleep in the same bed as him, he makes no disruptive movements and prioritizes letting you rest up well for the day ahead. Sleep isn’t a must for Zhongli, yet to fully experience the life of a mortal, he gives it his best shot. There’s nothing he adores more than if you tend to talk or grumble in your sleep. While you’re conscious, there’s a filter in place that prevents you from saying anything regrettable; a feature not found when slumber reigns. He most definitely will try talking to you in a gentle whisper to coax out any secrets your lips would be otherwise sealed to. 

Albedo

Albedo is another who doesn’t really need sleep, but he enjoys all the bonding possibilities that come with sleeping side by side. He’s good at telling when you’re in REM and always asks you about your dreams the next morning, finding the information pivotal to better understanding you. He can’t help but think about how less lonely you make his otherwise secluded lifestyle. Most of his night consists of him pondering different matters relating to you, from what he should make for breakfast to envisioning your future. If he’s noticed you aren’t a light sleeper, he may feel bold enough to kiss your shoulder or clavicle since you can’t object. He’s able to gain a better understanding of your anatomy from the hours he spends committing your appearance to memory. It’s no wonder that his drawings of you are so lifelike down to the last detail — he can practically model you in his mind in anyway he sees fit. 

Xiao

You have to passionately plead your case to convince him to quote, ‘stop being weird’, end quote. If it weren’t for your interference, he’d see no issue with standing in the corner and staring at you all night. Xiao still doesn’t understand why you’re so huffy about his preference, but if it means giving you one less thing to complain about, then he guesses he can go along with it. Since adepti don’t really need sleep in the same way mortals do, he never thought he’d see the appeal in lying down and doing nothing for eight or so hours, but you’re starting to make him curious. You’ll be readjusting one night when you unexpectedly meet resistance akin to slamming into a brick wall. As it turns out, it’s Xiao’s chest, and he’s just been chilling there as if it was the most normal thing ever. Getting back to sleep after that scare is a tricky endeavor. He’ll quietly reassure that he isn’t doing anything depraved, which is almost stranger in a way. He really is just sitting there for hours and observing. It makes your skin crawl. 

Scaramouche

He actually sputtered in offense when you questioned what he was doing the first time his arms snaked around your waist. His grip was way too tight to be comfortable, for one, and his head was so close to your neck that his hair kept tickling the exposed skin. He grumbled about how ‘overdramatic’ you were despite the fact your lungs were actually crying out for air. This is what couples do, is it not? He’s mostly just embarrassed that his desperation for skin-to-skin contact came out so obvious. Proceeds to tone it down a touch by at least allowing your respiratory system to carry on uninhibited, generous lover that he is. Fortunately for you, he naturally relaxes his hold as the night progresses, and tends to curl into a fetal position. You can expect to hear gentle whimpers of your name that he violently denies should you ever bring it to his attention come morning. He’ll similarly combust on the spot if you refer to what he’s doing as ‘cuddling.’ No, this isn’t cuddling, it’s… being in close contact with another! Are you such a dullard that you can’t tell the difference? (He will die on this hill).

Kazuha

i wonder what would happen if darling accidentally let it slip that they think that? would he get angry, assuming he's being mocked? or would he get flustered after hearing that darling thinks he's cute?

personally, i think he'd start to get angry before the words process in his mind. then he probably turns red and replays the scene in his mind for the next few centuries

oh, he'd most definitely start voicing his dissent in very colorful terms.

adorable... the audacity of you. do you see these hands of his? do you know how many lives they have ended? how many they'll continue to take? not so adorable now, is he? ... right? please say yes. he wants to be taken seriously. he's starting to wonder if perhaps you've forgotten who you're dealing with, that maybe he's let you speak a little too freely. none of his admonition really sticks with you. you just wait for him to go through with his monologue and move onto the next thing.

it'd be a blow to his pride, undoubtedly. he has an image to maintain! you inadvertently condemned any fatui guards that may have been in the vicinity. they probably started perspiring aggressively the second the words left your lips. well, at least their families will get a generous payout from the tsaritsa for dying in the line of duty. what a dumb way to go though.

later that night, when the dust has settled and he's done stomping around, it'll hit him. hold on. wait just a moment. that was... a compliment, right? you complimented him? huh. well. in that case, he supposes he can forgive your transgression, just this once. his face is warmer than the inazuman sun come june.

he'll feel more like a gossipy friend when he's in a good mood.

scaramouche is surprisingly talkative, for better or for worse. the dude just has a lot to say (and a captive audience in you). you make for the perfect outlet after he's had to endure the presence of his fellow harbingers in recent times. his insults are colorful and plentiful.

honestly, it's kinda hard not to laugh when he's telling you about how two of the dumber dottore segments tried fitting through a doorway at the same time, only to get stuck. if you dwell on the heresy and overall moral implications of cloning oneself, it might make you appalled from horror. honestly, you're better off not thinking about it too much. just chuckle and try to wave away the looming dread from humanity treading territory they were never meant to uncover. it's one of those "if you don't laugh you'll cry" scenarios.

when he's happy, he might not exactly smile, but he does smirk and grin a lot. gets in the habit of teasing you mercilessly. he'll also let you get away with more than he would if he was feeling particularly moody. you can insult him on the lowkey once or twice... as a treat. the two of you will end up bantering back and forth for some time.

scaramouche........... calling you something like sweetheart or baby................................................ 😦😦😦😦😦😦😦😦 oh no no no. it sound so gross and icky. condescending too, even if he's trying to be genuine. ewww.

fortunately for your mental health, he can learn from trial and error fairly quickly. unfortunately for your mental health, that doesn't mean he won't take offense to his advances getting lukewarm reception. is he not doing exactly as you requested? acting 'nice' and 'cute'. was this all an elaborate setup on your part to make him embarrass himself? it's amazing how he'll berate your intelligence yet still paint you as this mastermind who foresees ten steps ahead in the game of relationship chess. like pick a side. he vacillates between both extremes and you wish he'd just cut it out so he'd stop ruining every meal you share together.

creepy... hmph... what do you know about creepy? have you seen sandrone's robot arms crawling toward freedom only to get dragged back into her infernal workshop? witnessed columbina humming to some spectral figure no one aside from herself can apparently sense? he's starting to debate dropping you off in their vicinity so you can learn he's far from creepy.

Childe

Childe's style of flirting is being around so frequently that you cannot help but get used to his intrusive presence in your life. He has a sort of boyish charm to him, frequently making comments that are borderline obscene if you stop to think about it long enough. He somehow manages to always stop just shy of stating or doing anything too inappropriate. At every given opportunity, he speaks highly of you, even to complete strangers. He'll regale them with your exploits with an arm slung around your shoulder, stopping you from sneaking away in embarrassment. His goal is to ensure everyone knows he's infatuated with you so that even if you reject his advances, no one will be stupid enough to cross a Harbinger by trying themself.

Diluc

Diluc writes you numerous letters. It doesn't matter if he's actually in town or not, writing his thoughts down on parchment is his favored method of communication. He tends to get flustered when he's actually in your presence and fears he'll make a fool of himself. Some of the letters that you receive were actually written months prior, unbeknownst to you. Diluc tends to get so thrilled by the prospect of talking to you that he goes overboard. By the time the candle's wax is melted down to the base, he's written dozens of letters, and is self-aware enough to realize sending them all at once is a little creepy. Hence a special chest dedicated to envelops sealed with the Ragnvindr crest, all addressed to you. They're sent out in socially acceptable periods of time.

Kaeya

Kaeya doesn't see the point in tiptoeing around his attraction to you. He knows it, you know it, everyone in the general vicinity knows it. He'll go for the classic methods before he resorts to anything of more... morally dubious morality. Asking you out to dinner (always his treat), offering to walk you home, buying you bouquets and sweets. Your hesitation to accept such displays does little to deter him. The Calvary Captain's silver tongue is infamous — how he manages to do it is beyond you. He'll come up with an excuse to lean in close, then whisper amorous promises into your ear. He keeps his voice just low enough that you have no choice but to lean in so that you may hear him. He's smooth and knows how to fluster. 

Zhongli

Zhongli is interesting because he doesn't know much about mortal 'courting' in this century, so you might not even pick up on the nuances of his actions unless you have a trained eye. Your parents and grandparents are going to love him though. He picks out gifts that could be associated with amorous intentions, such as jade pendants, hairpins, and combs. He is particularly taken with the notion of giving you a comb for the cultural connotation behind it. If Zhongli is romantically interested in you, he wants your relationship to span the ages. He may or may not purposefully withhold information if you aren't from Liyue, watching with bemused eyes as you accept his gifts without giving them a second thought. He's very traditional and verbally subdued in his approach.

Albedo

Albedo's flirting is a slow buildup that by the time you realize what's happening, you feel you're in too deep to wriggle out. It'd look like you were leading him on otherwise. Similar to Diluc, Albedo writes to you, sometimes sending pressed flowers from the region he's in and always including doodles. He doesn't entirely substitute face-to-face interaction with this, however. He approaches you under the pretense of needing help with this or that — using so much jargon that you barely understand what it is you've agreed to. Next thing you know, you're camping alongside him in Dragonspine for a week. He'll even purposefully sabotage his work so that he has an excuse to keep you around longer. He's more sly than most give him credit for. Putting a hand on your back when he's walking behind you, sitting close by to help warm you up in the cold... he's got some game.

Xiao

Xiao doesn't really flirt. There are no smooth lines, teasing touches, or romantic dinners by candlelight. That isn't to say he isn't trying — Archons know he is — but his methods don't fall under the usual courting methodology. He kinda shoots himself in the foot, because he'll help you and remain out of sight while doing so. A silent and thankless guardian. He cannot count how many times he's cleared a monster-ridden path for you seconds before you arrived. Then he just kinda... looks at you expectedly from afar the next time you happen by the Wangshu Inn. You probably think he's glaring at you. Xiao can't help but feel a little gloomy you didn't somehow miraculously put two and two together. Maybe he'll give you a cool rock to get his point across next time...

Scaramouche

Actual secondhand embarrassment material. Somebody, please stop him. He just shows up uninvited, makes a big show out of how superior he is to you, then stands there expecting results. When you don't immediately swoon and throw yourself into his arms, his mood plummets for the day. He works best when he keeps his mouth shut. He'll grimace and say 'you look tired' then proceed to do all your impending work so that you can get more rest. For that reason, he's not too terrible to keep around, because your chores are always done by the time you get home (he denies involvement). Scaramouche genuinely thinks you should feel so honored that he chooses to grace you with his presence. He's divine, don't you know? He could start a religion if he cared to try. And here he is furiously throwing vegetables in a bowl to make you soup (he broke into your house to do so, just don't think about it that part too much). Dealing with him requires the patience of a saint.

Kazuha

"Take responsibility." Scaramouche's loud voice fills the room. You set your book on the nearby table, noting how the guards begin to vacate the room at his arrival.

"For what, my lord?" you ask, blinking up at him. Apparently not expecting that quite reasonable question, he begins to sputter, face turning red.

"Y-you know what you did!" A pitiful attempt at dodging the question. Was this man really a Harbinger? Repressing the urge to sigh, you decide to prompt him further. Better to get this over with.

"I'm afraid I really don't," you stand up, meeting him at full height, "so do fill me in. I'll promise to take full responsibility." Your lord refuses to meet your gaze as he begins muttering. You can't hear all of it, but you can make out the word "feelings", and that's enough to fill out the blanks. A sly grin spreads across your face. Oh, this is going to be good.

You take his hand in yours, effectively cutting him off. Finally, he looks at you. You giggle, and he averts his eyes once again. You're leaning in, now. So close you can feel the heat radiating from his cheeks. He turns his face back to you with wide eyes.

He's like putty in your hands. You smile, and press a quick peck to his cheek before stepping back.

"Wha-" Anger blooms across his face, and it's clear he's about to yell. Laughing all the way, you turn on your heel and break out into a run.

"Catch me if you can!"

Provoking a harbinger like this...you really don't know when to stop, do you?

"My heart."

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

he wouldn't believe his ears. his initial response is shock, that morphs into rage, are you mocking him? is this a sick joke at his expense? surely, you must know better than to play with fire that burns as hot as he does. if he doesn't sense any mockery after drilling you with these questions, then he just kinda stares off into space because... he kinda likes it? it makes him feel weird and pleasant on the inside. that you'd associate him with what is pivotal to the human experience.

does that mean you couldn't live without him, as mortals cannot live without their heart? once he starts thinking things like this, you've really secured your fate. scaramouche scans you for absolutely any signs that you reciprocate his extreme attachment. no detail is too insignificant not to be picked up by his eyes. feeding his obsession increases his appetite to something ravenous, that can never be satisfied.

you can’t pinpoint exactly when it started — (was it always this way?) — but somewhere down the line, he saw fit to treat you worse than the dirt beneath his shoes. it wasn’t often you had the unique punishment of running into the balladeer, though each time you did was an encounter to remember. he’d fling colorful arrays of insults your way, make threats he never followed through on, and acted like a general nuisance. a thorn stuck in your side would be more pleasant than his company. even a knife, if you were to be honest with yourself. at least you could successfully remove the intrusion in that case. the same could not be said for scaramouche. he was intent on hanging around and making you miserable for whatever godforsaken reason. 

if you were out on a commission, he’d be rid of the monsters himself and claim the reward, regardless of how paltry he found the sum to be. he’d organize delays on the routes you needed to travel. buy out the stores that relied on your services the most. anything that meant your attention would be focused solely on him; even if that attention might be negative. so long as he dominates your thoughts in the way you do his, he’s content. 

imagine his surprise when he catches word that his subordinates are giving you a hard time too. 

they figured by how much effort their superior invested into making you miserable, it’d be a safe bet for them to do the same. rely on some good ol’ intimidation tactics and hopefully win brownie points with their infamously hard to deal with harbinger. they never know when they might end up being the one whose ashes are swept away with a broom and dustpan, so they figured it’d be best to get ahead of these things. 

needless to say, the squadron who thought up that idea went missing overnight. no one had the courage to look into it further. it got the message across that scaramouche already thought went without saying, but well, his underlings have never been bright.