(taken from this post on the experiments of Harry Harlow)

“Peoples’ Choice Award" is America’s greatest honor.

Styrofoam is not made from kittens.

The U.F.O. was a paper plate.

The nerds on the internet are not geeks.

The word "cheese” is not funny in and of itself.

The older Flanders boy is Todd, not Rod.

Lyndon Johnsons did not provide the voice of Yosemite Sam.

If you are reading this you have no life.

Roy Rogers was not buried inside his horse.

The other U.F.O was an upside-down salad spinner.

Our universities are not “Hotbeds” of anything.

Mr. Dershowitz did not literally have four eyes.

Our viewers are not pathetic food tubes.

Audrey Hepburn never weighed 400 pounds.

The “Cheers” gang is not a real gang.

Salt water does not “chase the thirsties away”.

Licking an electrical outlet will not turn you into a Mighty Morphin Power Ranger.

Cats do not eventually turn into dogs.

Bullets do not bounce off fat guys.

Recycling does not deplete the ozone.

Everything is 10% fruite juice.

The flesh eating virus does not hide in ice cream.

Janet Reno is evil.

V8 fruit juice is 1/8 gasoline.

Ted Koppel is a robot.

Women aren’t from Venus and men aren’t from Mars.

Fleiss does floss.

Quayle is familiar with common bathroom procedures.

Bart is bad to the bone.

Godfry Jones’ wife is cheating on him.

The Beetles haven’t reunited to enter kickboxing competitions.

The “Bug” on your TV screen can see into your home.

Everyone on TV is better than you.

The people who are writing this have no life.