An Overqualified Math Teacher

there’s a horse napping on my foot rn

oh my god you werent exaggerating like that is just deadass a fucking horse sleeping on your motherfucking foot bitch shit goddamn

ya

He was very scared

save him

He’s having a nightmare help him

ok but imagine a roomba that’s programmed to react positively when being scratched or petted 

#or a roomba that’s programmed to recognize their owner and drive up to them for no other reason than to be petted

I have a Neato Botvac that has an optical sensor to find its way around (Roombas just bump into things and derps off in a random direction) and yesterday it did its “dee-dummm” sad noise while under the couch, stopped what it was doing, and hummed over to me and stopped beside my chair, with its error message saying, “Please dust me off so I can see.” I wiped it off and sent it on its way, and it did its “doo doo do doooo!” of happiness and finished the living room. It’s never done that before, but I like to think that I’ve gained its trust over the past few months, and it knows it can come to me for help.

»- Punch, backhand, swing at ominously -> »- Play the jaws theme while you fight ->

“scythes are impractical battle weapons” you say but i can’t hear you over the swish swish of my huge fucking scythe, which is cool