one man army

though my soul may set in darkness, it will rise in perfect light; i have loved the stars to fondly to be fearful of the night

star-gazcr. indie, selective, & private rp. multimuse, featuring two warriors of light from the game final fantasy xiv. oc, crossover, & au friendly. written by zack.

'A knight lives to serve - and to aid those in need.'

They've clearly… talked, but about what? Kunsel tries not to overthink it, if anything, he was trying to not think about the implications of Zack's return because he wanted it, he wanted Zack to come back - and he did! So it was all good now, right?

But Aerith's like a whirlwind, needing to do something, to make space between her and Zack… and seeing that Elmyra was fussing and scolding Kunsel over his unannounced visit, she was quick to gather her mother's attention and guide her away, set to prepare a room for Cloud.

Kunsel has half a mind to reach out for her mind, but his hand awkwardly lingers by his side as she whisks herself away upstairs, and he clenches it awkwardly remembering again: Zack is here.

There's only a breath of silence before Zack settles by the kitchen table, hiding his face in his hands, the perfect picture of a man defeated… and the guilt that he'd worked so hard to push past over all these years, the second guessing, the ever present feeling of how shitty of a friend he was being; it all just boils over and he has to bite his tongue to not confess right then and there.

It's me. I did this to you.

"… She did. I'm sorry, man. It blows." He sounds a little funny saying it, like there's a catch in his voice, his sentence awkwardly cut off before he could say more… and he doesn't elaborate. Instead he moves over, pats Zack's shoulder with his damp glove in what he hoped was a comforting manner. "If it makes you feel any better… I think she still loves you, just… not like that. She waited for you for years, y'know, was the only person that still believed me when I said you were out there."

And like a coward he doesn't confess - the time wasn't right, they were both on edge, he'd just gotten back and was just processing that Aerith broke up with him… He had all the excuses he needed.

It wasn't really that surprising that Aerith had moved on. Zack had convinced himself that it would be okay, even if she had. And it was! He was happy for her, that she found somebody else to comfort her while he was gone. Well -- he'd be happy for her later, anyway; right now, he was just dejected.

He just really didn't know how to process the fact that he had spent every night for the past few years, thinking about her to get through the time isolated from pretty much everyone but Cloud, on restless nights when he couldn't get comfortable or Cloud kept him awake for whatever reason, and she had just...moved on without him. It made perfect sense that she had. It was just...

Ugh.

Brains were stupid.

"Yeah. I guessed she had," he murmured. "I mean, who waits for some dude for, what, four years? Five? Without a word from him. You know? I mean...I never gave up on her, but...my situation was a little different. Whatever. This doesn't matter."

Zack straightened up again, running a gloved hand through his hair as he did so.

"I mean, I didn't come out here entirely because I'm some lovesick moron," he went on, not denying he was one. "I thought she could help Cloud." He turned his eyes to the blond resting at the table. "I've tried everything I can think of -- I mean, that's not much, what I'm able to do. But materia didn't work. Obviously, more mako isn't going to help.