raytrick supplier here

i draw + fixated on mcr & fob, will be my main focus in art (please send me requests !!! i will draw things from other bandoms too)

timezone is gmt +2 (cest)

minor

i deleted my past account (@westcoastvincent), if u know me from there hi 👋👋

waycesties + pro/darkship + tcc dni

so like im going back to school on the 18th of august (as one does) and its like. a new school and stuff. im not too worried about that, though i am worried if im gonna get new friends or not because. well. me being the way i am + im extremely socially anxious and a very quiet person irl unless im with my closest friends

theres gonna be 29 students (including me) in my new class. at my old school we were 24 students at most (but there was often atleast one person absent). i guess that makes it a bigger chance for me to actually find a friend/someone to talk to, at best a group to follow around, but im scared. i dont want to just follow a group around mindlessly as if im puppy without owner. i dont want to be mentally and emotionally abused again and be peer pressured into things i hated. i dont wanna go through the horrible experiences that the poor kid that was me did. im still healing from that.

im also rlly scared to be asked about the scars on my arms. i got asked a few times in my old school, and i just shrugged it off with it being my cats. i cant have that excuse anymore though because there are too many and its clear theyre self inflicted. im also scared to be asked if "everything is okay at home" since im very quiet + like i mentioned, my scars. what do i even say to that? like yeah my parents are good-ish, my trauma just haunts me and im depressed ????? but like i dont wanna tell anyone about my fuckass pile of trauma. thats very personal and i dont wanna traumadump to a teacher for obvious reasons

and ANOTHER thing i fear is me being asked about my gender since im a trans guy with quite a bit of a feminine voice. i just. pray that my classmates wont be weird towards me even with this whole shitshow

im also fearing the outcome if id get to infodump to someone (especially a classmate) about my interests. my old classmates did not enjoy that too much, except this one girl. she was really nice and supported my special interest in public transport fully, i think about her frequently. i hung out with her sometimes and she sat with me during art class

thankfully, at the last talk i had with my new teachers + my parents, one of my mentors said that she could just. not call on me to answer questions during class, since i get horrible amounts of anxiety from that. im thankful that she brought that up, and she also said shed tell that to the other teachers too. she also said that if i were to do a verbal presentation, i wouldnt have to do it infront of the whole class, and instead i could do it in a small group or just to a teacher. im glad i can get these accommodations since i am an extremely anxious person.

i have a new talk with my mentors + parents on thursday. i beg it goes well. okaibai.