IâM SORRY BUT THIS SCENE IS PROBABLY THE MOST OVERLOOKED OF THE WHOLE EPISODE AND IT SHOULDNâT BE BECAUSE IT SAYS SO MUCH:
the fact that arthurâs referencing that age-old âidiotâ exchange between them and what heâs actually saying both make it clear that this is supposed to be a joke but itâs one which you can tell is still wrenching him apart from the flat tone of his voice and the bite of the word âlieâ
the fact that you can tell how much that line stung merlin because of the look on his face before he turns around - he glances down and his expression is so sad and resigned because heâs ashamed of lying all these years but also really hurt that arthur canât understand that he was always doing it for him
merlin putting on a big grin and trying to lighten the tension and show arthur that itâs still him, which mainly hurts because of the fact that moments before we saw how he was really feeling so we know that thereâs no heart behind the joke and that merlin would probably rather have the chance to sit alone for a while and try to wrap his head around everything thatâs happened and deal with it but instead heâs gotta put on a brave face and get on with it because arthur is his responsibility and heâs more important than anything (including merlinâs peace of mind)
the way the faint hint of arthurâs smile at the rebuttal drops away as soon as they break eye contact because arthur canât quite stop the ache of merlinâs betrayal and he doesnât know how to align his merlin - the same merlin who heâs known and loved for years, who jokes with him about his own idiocy - and this merlin - the merlin whoâs been deceiving him for years, who arthur can feel himself still loving and knowing even through all the uncertainty and anger
and tbh the fact arthur tries to smile at all is evidence that heâs at least beginning to recognise that he shouldnât be punishing merlin for living in secret for so long because all of that secrecy was enough of a punishment in itself
WOW IâM REALLY SORRY TO WRITE AN ESSAY ON YOUR GIFSET BUT OHMYGOD
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