s💌

warnings/themes; deadpool/wade wilson x fem!reader, detailed smut (18+), established relationship, strong language, missionary sex, no use of condoms, use of sex toys, dirty talk, phone sex, pet-names (lol), lowercase intended

i started writing this monthsss ago and i finally finished and uploaded it (you're welcome). anyway i love wade wilson i need him in a way that is unhealthy.

the ending is poor as i didn't know how to finish it lol p.s this is not proof-read as it's past 2am sorryyyy

you laid spread out on the bed, completely in the nude, waiting for your boyfriend to come out of the bathroom. it was often that the two of you would have sex when he returned home from a mission, because all that fighting and anger always got him so riled up and turned on. however this evening was slightly different. he came limping through the front door, hands clasped over his crotch, because in his words, the "crown jewels have been destroyed". he had been shot. through the dick.

and naturally he was extremely pissed off about it, because sometimes "the only dignity a male has is in his manhood"... but mainly because his girl had to wait even longer before she "got a good pounding". again, his words...

he had been in the bathroom cleaning up, and waiting (praying) for his cock to heal and regenerate. you were growing impatient, and increasingly horny, listening to your boyfriend's muffled moaning and grunting from the ensuite. you felt bad because you knew his noises were purely from his pain, but he had made it abundantly clear that you were not allowed in there to help him. "some things are just not meant for you to see, princess". you also felt bad about being ready for sex when your partner has a literal bullet-hole through his shaft, but you had been craving him all day, and you knew that wade would still try and fuck you on his deathbed if he could. besides, he literally instructed you to be out here ready and waiting for him, so you could hardly say no.

the core between your legs ached, and your attempts at squeezing and rubbing your thighs together were not cutting it anymore. "wade? everything okay?" you called out, and only received a "mhmm" in return. you huffed and rolled over, reaching into your bedside drawer and retrieving your magic wand vibrator. going to turn it on, you sighed at the low battery light flashing at you. you would have ignored it and used up the last of its power, but wade was going away for a few days tomorrow, so, much to your dismay, you decided to plug it into charge, knowing that you'd be grateful for this sacrifice right now when you're due to have a lonely night.

you lowered your fingers to your clit, beginning to lightly trace it with your fingertips needing to release some pressure, when you suddenly heard many excited "yes" and "finally"s coming from the bathroom. you perked up in excitement, moving your fingers against yourself faster through the eagerness.

the bathroom door suddenly swung open, your boyfriend's naked, muscular figure appearing in the doorway, arms outwardly expanded, with an erection on full-display. "he has risen, baby girl" he called out, like he was determined for the world to know. you smiled, biting your lip as you watched him slowly walk towards you. he stood over you at the side of the bed and sighed with deep relief, proudly looking down at his penis that he rubbed gently in his hand. "thank the heavens for that, sweet cheeks. i thought i'd never get to fuck you again."

"well that's what it certainly feels like" you teased, a hint of seriousness in your voice as you looked at him, still horny out of your mind.

"ohh, giving me a bit of attitude are we?" he snarked, climbing slowly onto the bed and laying down to face you. "well i'm sorry baby doll, but i don't think you would've wanted me to take you to pound-town with a gaping crater in my cock." you tried to resist a smirk at his silly remark, as you reached down to take him into your hand, your thumb rubbing over the fresh area of skin. his eyes closed as he began to relax, before you spoke up. "i don't think so, mister. no handjobs tonight. i just need you to fuck me." he opened one eye and raised an eyebrow at you, watching as you let go of his cock and laid down on your back, waiting for him.

he rolled to hover over you, resting his weight on his elbows as he leaned down for a kiss. you wrapped your legs tightly around his waist in an attempt to bring him closer to you to finally have him where you needed him the most. you felt him try and add some tongue to the kiss, but you pulled back breathlessly. "just put it inside me already" you weren't in the mood for foreplay, you were already too far past that point.

"that wasn't very polite, princess" wade said, pulling back to sit on his knees as he straddled your lap. "i think you'll have to ask nicely first."

you huffed and threw your head back against the pillows, a frustrated groan escaping your throat. that's the thing about wade, he gets off on teasing you and making you beg, even when it's most inconvenient for you. "please" you said half-bluntly, watching as wade shrugged and shook his head. "oh darling, i think you can do better than that."

you scoffed as tears brimmed in your eyes, having been pushed past desperation. wade watching closely, "you're such a spoiled brat, you know that?" he cooed in a hushed tone, leaning forward to brush some fallen hair out of your eyes. "i'll let you off, just this once." you didn't have much time to process his words before his tip was slowly entering you. you gasped at the feeling, your body finally getting what it wants. "so wet," he whispered to himself, "absolutely soaked".

he sunk all the way in, the both of you moaning loudly as he reached full capacity. you gasped, gripping his shoulders as you attempted to grind and roll your hips against him. "ah, ah," he tutted, grasping your waist tightly to halt your movements "patience, kitten." he leaned forward to hover over you again, your legs naturally raising in the air, as he began to finally rock into you. you moaned loudly, running your hands over his head and neck, finally feeling so much relief. "so needy for deadpool" he whispered into your ear, giving the lobe a gentle nip with his teeth. "aren't you?" he continued, "getting yourself in such a mess for daddy."

all you could do was nod your head, wade's quickening movements completely knocking the words out of you. he fully sped up, your legs weakening as they dropped down against the bed lazily. the loud sound of skin slapping roughly together was almost completely drowned out by your moans and shouts of profanities. "fuck," wade grunted in your ear as he continued to plough into you. "your whining is so fucking hot." his dirty talk only made you whine louder, nails digging roughly into his back.

wade eventually slowed his movements and sat back up on his knees, dragging you slightly down the bed with him. you remained on your back, the back of your thighs resting over his, as his hands hooked underneath your legs to hold you in place before thrusting into you again. the new position added new waves of pleasure, causing you to throw your head back and choke on a moan. he gripped your legs tightly, thrusting steadily, his large cock filling you up so deeply with each movement of his hips. "wade-... feels so... good".

something to the side of the bed on the floor caught wade's attention, and you didn't notice his eyes narrow with his exciting plan. you groaned as he stopped his movements and pulled out, lifting your head to look at him in annoyance, but furrowing your brows in confusion when you saw him leaning over the side of the bed. "what are you d-" your question was cut off when he sat back up holding your retrieved vibrator. he looked at you wiggling his eyebrows, causing you to smile and roll your eyes. "been having some fun today, princess?"

"i wish," you said sarcastically, tilting your head to the side, "i was gonna use it when you were in the bathroom, but it was almost out of charge."

he nodded, muttering to himself "naughty girl, running it dry" before turning it on to see the battery level. "just over half-way. that'll do nicely." he held the base of his penis and ran it over your pussy, smothering himself in your juices before entering you again, rocking his hips slowly. you soon heard the buzzing noise of your toy and waited eagerly. he remained on his knees, bringing the toy down to your clit as he continued to pump into you. as it made contact, your mouth gaped open with a gasp and your head flung back, your back arching slightly. he relished at the sight and couldn't help but speed up, fucking you harder and causing you to cry out.

"fuck! wade!" you almost screamed, eyes screwed tightly closed.

"yeah," he grunted, "you like that, don't you baby?" his voice was strained and rough, struggling to focus on anything but the pleasure. you just moaned in response, unable to form any coherent words or thoughts.

wade's thick shaft was bottomed out inside of you, his hips rolling and grinding against your own. his head was cradled in your neck as he leaned over you, gently moaning in your ear. his thumb remained over the control settings of the vibrator, pressing random buttons to increase the speed and send you over the edge. your thighs shook rapidly as you climaxed, the tight coil in your stomach finally unravelling, letting you see and feel fireworks.

you'd never orgasmed so hard in your life.

wade let you ride out your high before pulling out and ejaculating all over your lower stomach, moaning loudly. his hand dropping the vibrator and swapped with his cock, pulling every last drop out of himself.

you laid completely breathless underneath him, chest heaving and legs still trembling. wade leaned down and pressed a few kisses to your chest and neck, before heading to the bathroom. he returned with a warm flannel cloth and gently cleaned you up, chuckling lightly to himself as you squirmed under his touch. "oh kitten, so sensitive" he whispered.

he laid beside you, pulling you into his arms. "you did a number on me, wade wilson" you mumbled tiredly into his chest, already feeling exhausted.

you felt him smile against your hair as he pressed kisses to the top of your head. "when i go away, you need to use that during phone sex. need to hear those pathetic moans."

"noted", you yawned, using the last of your energy to lightly kick the wand off the bed, telling yourself that you'll clean it and charge it in the morning.

it was a few days later, you laid on your bed with your phone pressed to your ear and your fingers down the front of your panties, listening to wade talking filth to you.

"come on then sweetheart, get that vibe out" he purred, staring down at the tight tent that was forming in his underwear. you rolled over and reached into your drawer, beginning to rummage frantically when you couldn't find it.

"shit..." you cursed under your breath, leaning your head over the side of the bed to peer underneath it.

"fuck!" you exclaimed angrily, spotting the wand laying under the bed, where you had discarded and forgotten about it just days ago.

"what's the matter, doll-face? out of charge?" wade asked, and you could practically hear the smirk stretching across his face.

"... you knew, didn't you?" your voice lowered as you sat flustered and frustrated on your bed.

"i don't know what you're talking about, baby cakes" your boyfriend teased.

"why didn't you remind me" you whined, squeezing your legs together to ease the aching, just like you had done a few nights prior.

"it's more fun this way" his laugh crackled down the phone, a frustrated groan erupting from your throat as you dramatically laid yourself down against the bed.

"you're such an arsehole!" you cursed at him, listening as he continued to laugh.

"i'll see you tomorrow, sweet cheeks", he said teasingly, "have a fun night." he made kissy noises as he hung up, leaving you horny, annoyed and alone.

x gn!reader showering with deadpool and caring for him when his skin has a bad flare-up.

you had been in a relationship with wade for a couple of years now. you knew him inside-out. you loved him so deeply and would do absolutely anything for him, and he was totally head-over-heels for you because of it.

unfortunately, sometimes his mutation causes the scars on his skin to flare up, becoming irritable and painful. he would say that his skin essentially hurt him all the time, and he was just very used to the pain. however when these rare moments happened where it hurt more than usual, you tried to do everything you could to make things more comfortable for him.

in the earlier stage of your relationship, when the first flare-up happened, you spent a long time stood in the kitchen surrounded by a huge amount jars, test tubes, liquids, essential oils, and syringes, trying to find the best combination for a special lotion that wade could use to moisturise his unique skin.

wade stood in the doorway, a small smile on his face as he watched your eyes narrow, tongue poking out of your mouth slightly, concentrating so hard on the task in front of you.

you were so engrossed in measuring out the ingredients and stirring your lotions into different labelled pots, that you hadn't noticed him observing you.

"what are you doing, doll?" wade's voice spoke gently as he stepped towards you in the kitchen. you jumped, heart almost skipping a beat as you hadn't suspected anyone to be home with you.

realising it was him, you relaxed. "you're back early" you smiled at him, tilting your head.

"no I'm not" he smiled widely, motioning his head towards the clock, which read 7:36pm.

oh...

you had been stood in the kitchen doing your little experiments for much longer than you had realised.

wade came behind you, wrapping his strong arms around your waist, dropping a kiss to your exposed shoulder, before whispering in your ear. "so... you never told me what you are doing." he stood back and leaned against the counter, inhaling a deep breath of the different smells that you had created. he was getting senses of ginger and honey... coconut and oatmeal.

"if i was to guess, you're starting up some sort of etsy home-business?"

you giggled at his silliness.

"i'm trying to create a lotion for you. to help... you know... your skin. i know it's been hurting recently." you blushed slightly, suddenly feeling a bit embarrassed.

wade felt his heart swell at your words. he almost melted right there on the floor. you had only been together a couple of months, and wade was still very insecure about his appearance around you. but the fact that you were going out of your way to make something to help him, almost made him want to cry.

he knew in that moment that you were something extremely special. you were still in the early stage of your relationship, yet you were being so selfless and kind towards him.

"oh, baby" he whispered, a small smile on his face. "that is so kind. thank you."

the sincerity in his voice made your stomach flutter. you hadn't seen a very affectionate/grateful side of wade yet, but little did you know that this was only the beginning, and you are yet to meet the very clingy, loveable deadpool.

he came and wrapped you in a hug, pressing a kiss to the top of your head.

you spent the rest of that evening sat together round the kitchen table, testing the lotions and altering some of the recipes, before he settled on one that he really liked. he still uses it to this day, and you happily make him a new batch every month.

wade sat in the passenger seat of dopinder's taxi, staring out the window. his lips were curled until a soft smile as he thought about that memory. you had been his biggest supporter since day one.

he climbed out of the taxi and gave dopinder a high five, before slowly making his way up to your shared apartment. his footsteps were slow and heavy as his muscles ached and his skin screamed against his suit with every step that he took. he finally crashed through the door, immediately relaxing slightly as the familiar scent and warmth of home surrounded him.

"hey baby!" he heard you call from the bedroom, as he kicked his shoes off and made his way to find you. you were folding laundry as you looked up at him and smiled, having missed him all day. he managed to smile back, never once breaking eye contact as you approached him for a kiss. resting your hands on his shoulders you pressed a sweet kiss to his lips, a toothy grin on your face as you pulled away.

"are you okay?" you said gently, watching as your boyfriend began to take his suit off, his face screwing up and flinching in agony every once in a while. "does it hurt?" you whispered.

he just nodded his head, a small sigh and grunt escaping his mouth. you frowned, wishing you could take away his pain. "i'm sorry baby, anything i can do to help?"

"i'm gonna take a shower" he said, voice barely above a whisper, as he peeled the last piece of his suit from his body. you followed him into the bathroom, watching as he leaned to turn the shower on to a lukewarm/cool temperature, making you frown again. he couldn't even enjoy the feeling of hot water. "what's the frown for, kitten?" he said, pulling his underwear down and kicking them off his feet.

"i just feel bad for you", you sighed, hating to see the love of your life feel this way.

"don't be silly" he pulled you against him, holding you in a small hug, "i'm used to it."

"but still, you don't deserve it."

"hey now, if i wasn't a mutant, cancer would've got me a long time ago and I never would've met you." he squeezed your shoulders before pulling away, watching your face waiting to see you smile.

he climbed into the shower, before turning back to you. "you can join me if you like," wriggling his eyebrows, "i wouldn't recommend it though, your sweet cheeks will get cold."

you smiled and rolled your eyes. eventhough he was in pain, he was trying to be his usual-self that always cheers you up. you pulled off your clothes and joined him in the shower, letting him stand at the water end. his big eyes looked down at you, filled with love and adoration, but underlying sadness. he was just in pain, and needed some comfort. you noticed immediately, reaching round to grab his soap. it was an expensive one, formulated to be kind and gentle to his skin.

you poured some onto a soft sponge and used your hands to lather it up with some water, directing him to turn around. you placed the sponge ever so gently at the top of his shoulder blades, before slowly moving it down across his back. he tensed up, liking the feeling but hating it at the same time. his hand reached backwards and he used his fingers to brush against your thigh, indicating to you that he wanted to hold your hand. you reached down and locked fingers with him, giving it a small squeeze, whilst still using the other hand to slowly sweep the sponge across his backside. you squeezed the sponge in your hand, letting the soapy water trickle down his body, so you weren't putting any friction on his most sensitive and inflamed areas.

you brought his hand up to your mouth to kiss it, before tightly tugging him to face you again. he turned around to let you wash his chest and stomach.

you peeked up at wade, his head was dropped down to his chest with his eyes screwed shut. you put an arm around his waist, pulling him close and pressing a kiss to his forehead. he leaned into your touch, wanting more. you breathed a laugh against his skin, giving one more kiss, before passing him the sponge and letting him finish washing his more intimate areas. (although he definitely would not have minded if you'd done that for him)

once he was rinsed off, you helped him out of the shower and passed him the fluffiest towel you could find. you left him alone and ventured back into the bedroom, pulling out some clean pyjamas for the both of you, before going to the kitchen to order his favourite chimichangas.

wade eventually appeared, wearing nothing but some cotton underwear. you looked at him confused, "i got some clothes out for you, bub."

his eyes darted down to his hand, where he was holding a bottle of your home-made lotion. your eyes softened as you whispered an "okay", before quickly washing your hands.

you joined wade on the couch where he was turning on a movie, sitting next to him and rubbing some lotion between your hands. he leaned into your touch and began to finally relax against you, as you gave him the gentlest massage you possibly could.

you spent the rest of the evening cuddling your big baby of a boyfriend, using your fingers to moisturise every nook and cranny of his back, arms, chest, legs, hands and feet. your heart melted every time you heard him let out a sigh or a grunt of pleasure, knowing his pain was finally easing. even if it was only slightly.

after you'd eaten, wade laid across the couch with his head in your lap, your hand resting lightly on his head. you were both fighting sleep as you tried to make it to the end of the movie.

before drifting away, you felt wade tilt his head up to look at you. you met his eyes, softly blinking at him, trying to read his thoughts.

"i don't deserve you," he mumbled, reaching his fingertips up to caress your cheek. "thank you for everything"

you stared lovingly at him for a moment, before leaning down and pressing a long kiss to his lips. he meant every word. what did he do to deserve someone who loved and cared for him so deeply?

like look at him he's just so soft 😭

he'd come home from a long day of fighting and collapse on the couch next to you. if it was a particularly long and difficult day he would barely have the energy to lift his head to rip his mask off, before throwing it carelessly to the floor. he'd reach over his arm to loosely grab on to you, just wanting to feel your touch but with moving as little as possible. you'd shuffle closer to him and wrap him in your arms, encouraging him to lay down against your lap. your hand would stroke over his head whilst the other rubbed against his suit-clad back. he'd eventually let out a big sigh as you felt his body relax, finally completely stress-free and in his safe place where he doesn't need to make a hundred jokes per second or speak any thought that entered his mind.

as much as he loved to talk to you and try to make you laugh, and would sometimes yap until you couldn't take it any more, he would also enjoy to just be in a comfortable silence with you, especially after a hard day. you'd been together for a couple of years now, you knew absolutely everything about him that there could be to know, just the same as he knew you. eventhough your relationship thrived off of quick-wit and long chats, you appreciated these gentle moments where he clearly just wanted to be wrapped in your arms and feel safe and loved.

he would ask a few questions about your day, voice hardly raised above a whisper. and as you spoke gently in response, he would gain the energy to let out "hmms" and sighs in agreement. showing that he was listening, even whilst being on the verge of sleep.

he doesn't like to admit it, but he can really struggle sometimes to constantly make jokes and talk all day whilst at work. he's more comfortable with you than he is with anyone, so he knows that he can just be quiet when he comes home and take a rest if he needs to, because he knows that you love him for HIM, even without the humour and self-depreciating jokes. it took him a long time to learn that, but when he finally realised he didn't need to talk down about himself all the time around you, or make a joke out of anything and everything, he knew you were the one.

he'd eventually sit up after a while, give you a soft kiss, and venture into the bedroom, before returning in his comfy clothes like hoodies and sweatpants. or some sort of hideous pair of unicorn pyjamas. he'd sit as close to you as possible and lean his head against your shoulder, his hand intertwining with yours as his thumb rubbed circles against your skin. your arm would be wrapped around his shoulder pulling him close, and occasionally dropping kisses to his head. when he felt like talking he'd tell you about his day, commentate on the movie you're watching, or just say random things about random stuff, and you'd just look down at him with pure admiration in your eyes. eventually he might drift off to sleep cuddled against you, but never before mumbling about how much he loves you.

he'll fall asleep whilst thinking about how he can't get over how much he appreciates and adores you. someone who loves him for any version of him. his talkative, loud, full-on, sexual self, or needy, clingy, quiet self... the side of him that only you get to see. someone who doesn't care what he looks like and makes him feel loved no matter what. someone who matches his crazy but also his calmness. someone who loves spending time with him and would do anything by his side but also allows him alone time if he needs it. you're just perfect to him. and he doesn't know what he'd do without you.

<3

headcanons x reader

[mentions of sex/nsfw content] [not proof read]

- starting out with the best parts of your relationship, wade is extremely affectionate and loves physical attention

- constant touches, kisses, hugs, tickles, cuddles, make-out sessions. you name it, he is all over you. always.

- the favourite part of your evenings is when you are both finished with work, and you get to snuggle up tight on the couch and watch crappy tv

- his arms will be wrapped tightly around you, thumbs rubbing lovingly against your skin

- eventually, especially if he's bored, he will try and get things more heated and start with sloppy kisses against your neck. which of course, usually turns into lazy sex

- or if he's feeling particularly riled up, he will storm through the door having finished a mission and will fuck you hard right there on the kitchen counter

- he sometimes will randomly bring home bunches of flowers, but a lot of the time they have been partially destroyed where he has been in some sort of fight or mishap whilst carrying them.

- sharing showers and cooking dinner together

- having random dance sessions in the kitchen/lounge whilst playing your favourite records. he always insists on playing his wham! record and slow dancing to careless whisper

- you bringing home his favourite takeaways and eating together whilst catching up about your days

- guaranteed, without a doubt, he gives you a hug and a kiss every day before he leaves for work, and as soon as he arrives home.

- even if you're still asleep or you're mad at eachother, he will give you a gentle peck

- it's not often that the two of you are mad at eachother, but there have been some significant arguments in the past

- like one time when he got severely injured and almost didn't regenerate properly, and you practically begged him to stop this crazy life and get a normal job

- but he called you controlling and said he could do as he pleases.

- it really, really, hurt you.

- but he was mentally in a bad place at the time, he did a lot of work to gain your forgiveness, and he still sometimes apologies for it to this day

- he HATES seeing you upset, especially if it's because of him.

- he never ever wants to hurt you or get you hurt, and as you can probably imagine, he is extremely protective.

- need something from the shops? he's going for you. walking home in the dark? you best believe he's meeting you at the train station and holding your hand the whole way back.

- if he's away working and not around, he calls dopinder to pick you up in his taxi. but you always insist on paying him, rather than just settling on a "crisp high five" like your boyfriend does.

- it's definitely hard on your relationship when he has to go away for longer periods of time, such as when he works internationally.

- you miss eachother severely, and you are sick with worry the whole time, but facetimes, love letters, and phone sex help keep things in order

- when he arrives home you have a lot of sex and naps in eachother's arms to make up for lost time and sleep

- he is a spooner. little or big, he doesn't care.

- as long as you're wrapped as tightly as possible to eachother in bed, he can sleep soundly.

- but he secretly prefers being the little spoon, and being cradled in your arms.

- your favourite cuddle position is when he rests his head on your chest, his arms resting over your stomach, legs intertwined.

- you've had many deep conversations about your life and future whilst laying like that together, your hands always running across his head and neck, feeling and tracing the bumps of his skin beneath your fingertips.

- sometimes he can get extremely self-conscious, and it breaks your heart.

- perhaps he's told one too many self-depreciating jokes, and you've snapped

- or you've caught him staring in the mirror, tears and judgement in his eyes.

- the most you can do is tell him you think he's gorgeous, and you wish he could see himself through your eyes

- but you can tell that he doesn't believe you, which only hurts you even more. you wish so strongly that you could take away his pain.

- he loves having date nights, but prefers to do them indoors, away from judgemental eyes and potential danger.

- but sometimes he'll take you out to a restaurant, or you'll go to the arcades together

- you can tell that he gets self conscious whilst in public without his mask and suit, but will happily do it for you

- he loves how you clearly do not care what people think, and will blatantly ignore anyone who is staring or whispering. you're always holding his hand or linking arms whilst walking, or have him pushed up against a wall with your tongue in his mouth, just to make a point

- sometimes you have people approach you and try to flirt with you whilst wade is literally right next to you. all they receive is a disgusted look from you, and a swift punch to the face from wade

- he's very trusting of you and doesn't necessarily get jealous too often, but he can be a right arsehole if he doesn't like the way someone is looking at you, or if he feels you didn't do enough to stop it

- you are always washing blood out of his suit or sewing up any rips and tears.

- you have to keep the first aid box filled to the brim at all times, for when he arrives home on a mission and needs patching up.

- you don't necessarily need to clean his gaping cuts and bullet holes, or wrap plasters around his fingers, but you feel better when you take care of him, and you know he secretly loves the attention.

- he can act like a massive baby if he feels you're not giving him enough attention.

- he will follow you around if you're on a work call or busy doing housework, with a big pout on his lips

- a few quick pecks and a squeeze/slap to his arse usually sorts him out for a while though

- he is a massive joker

- always commentating on something or saying random things out loud (you wish you knew who he was talking to), being extremely sarcastic, or mocking the things you say and do

- but it's all in good heart, it's just his type of humour.

- in the past, particularly at the start of your relationship, he's taken jokes too far and upset you. but he's learned, and knows now what lines he cannot cross.

- he has proposed. he was so nervous, but so excited when you said yes

- and he often mentions how he would love to be a father

- despite his dangerous job, sarcastic demeanour, and constant foul language, you know he'd be an amazing dad.

- besides, he's already an amazing daddy (he most definitely has a daddy kink)

- he's very dirty minded and will somehow make an innuendo out of anything

- he's always horny and would gladly fuck you any time of the day

- he's very open to trying practically anything, including any sex toys, restraints and pegging

- he's very vocal about his masturbating issues... essentially how he can't stop whenever he's away from you. but you don't mind, because that just gives you an excuse to touch yourself guilt-free.

- on all of your long distance phone calls, he will ask if you've "played with yourself whilst thinking of me fondly yet?"... usually the answer is yes.

- he's naturally a top, but would be a bottom if you wanted him to. all he asks is you're gentle and slow with him to begin with.

- he rarely calls you by your name. always using affectionate pet names and nicknames.

- literally any pet name under the sun that you can think of, he's probably called you it.

- he always carries a couple of polaroid photos of you in his suit pocket. he loves to show them to his friends or random people, to show you off and brag about how amazing you are.

- he's never told you, but the main reason he keeps a photo nearby is a reminder of why he needs to fight. you're the reason he cannot give up and the reason he comes home every day.

I saw on your pinned post that you take requests and I have an odd one. Recently, I've become lowkey obsessed with the idea of Ross Gaines x Joseph Lisgoe and was wondering if you'd ever be willing to write a fic about them? I'll be honest, I have no idea how specific you like requests to be, but I'm giving you free reign to take it in any direction you see fit. If you're up for it, then thank you so much! If not, then fair enough and I wish you good luck for your future stories 😄

thank you for your kind words!! i want to give this a go for you (so sorry for the delay in responding), but to be 100% honest, i'm not entirely sure i'll give your vision much justice! i'm very used to writing 'x reader' and i have never actually written 2 character ships before...

because of this, i've decided to do a short drabble style so that i don't have to delve into too much specific detail for a story line, and risk messing up lmao. i really hope this is okay, let me know what you think and hopefully i might be able to branch out into more similar subjects in the future :)

p.s. my blog is starting to look like a ross fan account at this point... and I'm not mad about it lolll.

---

Opposites Attract - Joseph Lisgoe x Ross Gaines

[not proof read]

his slicked back hair, narrowed eyes, and angry demeanor did nothing to intimidate ross. "i'm telling you, you've got the wrong house. i don't owe anybody anything." ross' tone remained calm and collected, which only seemed to agitate lisgoe even further.

"oh, yeah?" he drew closer to ross, forcing himself further into the doorway. "then how come your address is the one printed on the fucking paper slip?" lisgoe shoved the paper that he was holding to force it against ross' chest, encouraging him to hold it himself and read it. ross lifted the paper and glanced at it nonchalantly, before looking back at the angered man with a shrug of his shoulders.

"i really don't know. i'm sorry that i can't help you" ross said politely, stepping slightly backwards to close the front door between the pair of them.

"don't you dare even think about shutting this fucking door on me." joseph moved his foot into the door frame to act as a door stop, causing it to be left half-open.

with an excessive exhale of air, ross re-opened the door and stared questionably at the man before him. "what do you actually want from me?"

"I've only told you about fifty times, i want the money you owe me! i'm not leaving here until i get it."

ironically, he did end up leaving empty-handed, having realised that ross was perhaps just as stubborn as himself. joseph lay in bed that night, thoughts racing about the strange encounter he'd had that day. ross. why was he so... different? he had been so relaxed the whole time that lisgoe was shouting in his face. joseph's terrible anger and extreme persistence is the only thing he had to use in his power against people. it was the only strength he ever needed. so why was ross so unphased? it infuriated him...

the next day, lisgoe wandered the streets with barry and glen, ready to tackle the next set of debt-avoiders. joseph stood still in his tracks as a familiar face walked towards him down the street. "well if it isn't mr. gaines! we were gonna be paying you another visit later today" joseph spat, sarcasm lacing heavily in his voice.

"i'm not entirely sure why. you'd be wasting your time, to be honest." there it was. that calm voice that joseph hated so much. ross was supposed to be scared of him, what was he doing wrong?

"oh, you know exactly why." he gritted his teeth. "your name is on that paper, you owe us money and that is that!"

"have you perhaps taken this up with your little minions?" ross gestured towards the two cowardly men stood behind lisgoe, who were not helping the situation at all. "clearly somebody has made a mistake here. i've never even heard of you in my life, mr. lisgoe, i certainly don't owe you any money." ross' tone was more sarcastic this time, especially on the emphasis of joseph's name, which only caused chills to travel over his skin.

before he could even respond, ross had walked past them and continued down the street, swinging his briefcase happily as he went. shock and bewilderment momentarily lingered on joseph's face as he watched the man leave, before his eyes landed on his two useless workers, quickly resorting to his usual stern expression.

"he seems pretty certain he doesn't owe anyth-" barry began, before being silenced by lisgoe's rough hand that grabbed onto the back of his neck and forced him to walk forward, continuing their journey in silence.

---

it was late evening and lisgoe lay in bed, tossing and turning, unable to relax with a mind racing yet again over his impenetrable client. before long, he gave in and jumped up, pulling on his jacket and rushing out of the door.

ross sat alone, reading a book contently on his couch, before a buzz from the intercom interrupted his quiet evening.

"hello?" he answered, waiting to find out who was at the door. "it's lisgoe. let me in."

ross chuckled slightly, "why would i do that?"

"because i fucking said so." he was stern. not in a mood to be messed around with. and ross seemed to realise that.

the main door buzzed open and joseph raced to ross' apartment number, suddenly coming to a halt as he came eye to eye with ross who stood leaning smugly against the doorframe. "are we still not done here?" he said slyly, watching lisgoe's face as it washed over with anger.

"what is the matter with you, gaines? why aren't you intimidated by me?" his brows were furrowed and his fists were balled so tightly that his knuckles turned a pale white.

"why would i be intimidated by you?" he seemed genuinely confused. "i know that i don't owe you any money, so there's nothing to be afraid of." he smiled slightly, which made joseph's blood boil.

"you listen here," he inched up to ross, backing him into the door and staring deep into his eyes, his voice now so low and close to a whisper. "i spoke with my idiot coworkers, they did make a mistake and it turns out you're not in my debt. you should consider yourself extremely luck-"

"you came all the way here to tell me that?" ross interrupted, maintaining deep eye contact with the man who stood so close to him that he could feel his breath on his face.

"no!" lisgoe spat, grabbing ross' shoulders and pushing them into the door he was leaning against, frustration flowing through his veins. "i came here to make you aware of who you could've been dealing with. and who you just might be dealing with one day if you're not careful. i am one of the most powerful people in vasey, and i don't think you're taking this seriously enough."

ross breathed yet another sarcastic chuckle, still completely unphased by the insecure debt-collector. "why are you so annoyed that i'm not scared of you?"

lisgoe's grip on his shoulders loosened, dropping his hands to his sides. he took a step back and swallowed deeply, trying to process his question.

"i- i'm not." he stuttered, lying through his teeth. of course he was annoyed. he just couldn't understand why his usual scary behaviour didn't have the same affect on ross as it did with everyone else. he was intrigued, more than anything. ross was uninterested, which made him... irresistible, in a way. lisgoe wanted to make him interested.

"something wrong, lisgoe?" ross questioned, tilting his head and looking at the man with raised eyebrows.

"wipe that smug look off your face before i cut it off" he grumbled, revealing his small pocket-knife that he held in his blazer.

"okay. i just have one question for you," gaines began. "if you know i don't owe you money, and you're not annoyed at me, why are you stood here after-dark pointing a knife at me?"

"you just don't get it... do ya?" lisgoe sniggered, tucking the blade back into his pocket. "i thought you were supposed to be smart."

"well, no. i don't get it!" ross' voice raised slightly. "however i'd still say i'm smarter than you..." he mumbled.

"watch ya fuckin' mouth" joseph grimaced through gritted teeth. his eyes trailed over ross, flicking up and down before landing back on his face, making eye contact.

a heavy silence fell over the two of them, the atmosphere tense. ross swallowed hard as they stared at one another. "what...?" he almost stuttered, unable to read lisgoe's expression. the first time he ever let his guard down in front of lisgoe.

joseph approached him once again, closing the gap between them, breath hot on his face.

"you're so hard to read, gaines. like a closed book." he whispered, his words so quiet for only ross to hear. "...can you open yourself up to me?"

---

a/n: welllll there it is. wasn't really sure how to end it so it's kinda weak and rushed. like i say i'm inexperienced with character ships, but i enjoyed writing that (eventhough it was only short.)

hi!! thank you for your kind words about my work and for your request - i would love to do this for you! i wasn't entirely sure how you'd like this to be written, so i've gone for ross x gender neutral reader. i hope this is okay! let me know what you think and i hope you enjoy :)

p.s, i do have other inboxes/requests which i will reply to as soon as possible! i'm not ignoring anyone! <3

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Ross Gaines - "Worthless Scum"

Summary: [Ross x GNreader] Ross gradually becomes worn down by Pauline's relentless bullying, and seeks comfort in the arms of his favourite person.

The look on his face as he entered through the front door to our shared apartment almost ripped my heart in two. His eyes, once bright and full of wisdom, now dull and sad. His mouth, soft lips normally smirking or twitching with intense interest, now down-turned in a melancholy frown. His face, usually so clean and smooth to the touch, now tainted with smears of dried blood, and roughened due to weeks of tiring work and pain.

This had seemed to get progressively worse over the past week or so. When he was first assigned the job of investigating a restart officer at the local job centre, neither of us imagined what horrors he would return home with every night. It started with simple, belittling comments and rude remarks from the woman he called 'Pauline', but with each passing day he'd start showing up with random bruises and telling me heinous stories of being beaten and physically attacked.

Of course I was horrified, I had begged him to report her, or at least refuse to continue working until she was fired. But Ross was stubborn, he always had been. Especially when it came to his job.

It was only a few evenings ago that he had come glumly walking into the apartment, his expression laced with unusual sadness. I was stood cooking for the two of us and expected him to give me a usual 'hello' kiss, but instead he glanced at me with a weak smile and walked straight to the shower, sighing heavily as he went. When he reappeared to eat dinner, I had tried asking him if he was okay, but he just nodded his head and changed the subject. Our evening meal was usually one of the favourite parts of our day, getting to finally spend time together and catch eachother up about our day. But this particular evening, it was quiet. He usually doused in my home-cooked meals, but he barely ate anything this night, pushing it around with his cutlery. As we cleaned up, I tried again to see what was wrong, but he dismissed me and said he just needed an early night, before taking himself to bed.

It was very strange behaviour for Ross. And this carried on up until today. I gasped aloud at the sight of him, immediately rushing towards him and placing my hands on his arms. "My god, Ross! Please... tell me what's going on" I could barely whisper as my eyes examined him, riddled with anxiety and dread as I couldn't wait any longer to find out what had been bothering my significant other.

I watched as he opened his mouth to speak, but stopped as no words came out, only a broken squeak. Hot tears immediately filled his eyes as he shook his head, falling limp as I pulled him into a bone-crushing hug. We stayed still for a while, allowing him to cry into my neck as my hands rubbed soothingly against his back and across his hair. I had never really seen Ross cry before. He had always been very selfless with his feelings and didn't communicate them much with me - apart from the things he deemed important. He was a very headstrong man, extremely patient too, so seeing him so distraught almost made me break down along with him.

When the sobbing had quietened, I held him at an arms length and gently wiped the stray tears away, trying to read his face for answers. "Talk to me, baby." We didn't use pet names very often, but this felt necessary. He sighed and lowered his head, looking at the floor for a moment. "Let's sit down" I said gently, leading him to the sofa and perching next to him. He took a shaky breath as I held one of his hands in mine.

"It's Pauline..."

He went on about how awful the past week had been. He didn't think that she could get any worse than she already had been, but he was wrong. The beatings, the insults...

"It must be true," he wailed, fresh tears falling as he continued to talk, "I'm obviously not good enough. I'll never amount to anything." I couldn't believe the words I was hearing. I was baffled, to put it simply. I shuffled closer to him, wrapping my arm around his back.

"Ross... You are the smartest man I've ever met. You don't seriously believe any of that?"

I felt his shoulders raise and fall again with a dismissive shrug. "Being an internal investigator isn't much, is it?" His voice was angry, but he spoke so gently, almost as if he was questioning the very words out of his own mouth and was asking if I agreed or not.

"That's not true. I know you don't even believe that." I squeezed his shoulders as I spoke. "It's a really interesting job, you're so good at it. And you love it, which is all that matters anyway."

He shook his head with a whisper. "Not anymore." My heart broke hearing him admit that. Ross has always been a workaholic, he has stated to me many times that before our relationship, all he knew was working, work, and even more work. And now he's falling out of love with his job? Pauline should be grateful that I don't know what she looks like, otherwise she'd be getting a hard slap.

"Oh, Ross" I sighed, pulling him into me for another hug, tears still pouring from his eyes, wetting my shirt. "No matter what you do from here, whatever you decide is best for you, I will always be so proud of you. I love you so much." I felt his head raise as he tilted to look up at me, eyes glistening. I stroked against his hair and pushed his glasses back up the bridge of his nose where they had slipped, "You have always done me so proud. And you should be proud of yourself too. For everything. Don't you dare listen to whatever Pauline has said, you're a very successful man with the biggest heart, and I'm so lucky to love you."

I reached to grab a tissue from the coffee table and dabbed it under his eyes.

"I'm so lucky to be loved by you" he choked out in a whisper.

I smiled before laying down onto the sofa and extending my arms up towards him, welcoming him in for a cuddle. He curled into me, his head on my chest, letting me pepper small kisses all over his forehead. Some time had passed, and I was sure he had fallen asleep. My own eyes were getting heavy, and it was only until he mumbled my name that I realised he was still awake.

"Hmm?" I hummed, tilting my head down to look at him.

"Thank you." He murmured, reaching for my hand to press a small kiss to my knuckle.

When I didn't say anything, he turned his head to make eye contact with me. "What?"

I stayed quiet for a moment, allowing myself to think. "Please don't feel like you have to hide anything from me ever again. I'll always want to help you." I spoke sweetly but firmly, making sure he knew I was being serious.

With a small nod of his head, I smiled at him and leaned down towards him for a kiss. He puckered his lips and closed his eyes in anticipation, but opened them again when nothing happened. His brows furrowed in confusion as he stared at me inches away from his face, "What's wrong?"