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INTRODUCING YOU as Y/N L/N; THE INTERNET’S FAVOURITE FOODIE

HOW IT STARTED !

you were starving 

and broke

but mainly starving

so you did what most people would do in these times of crisis

beg the owner of your favourite restaurant for a discount on her homemade ramen and takoyaki

obviously she said no

but little did she know, your mom got you a mug that said ‘the most stubborn girl in the world’

so you begged, quite shamelessly too

almost went on your hands and knees just to get a sip of her homemade miso broth that always warmed you up on a bad day

mrs kim, the owner, was clearly not expecting this so she just looked at you as you were pleading

she looked scared to be honest

after looking around and seeing that taehyun and kai were actively filming this and providing their own commentary she sighed and closed her eyes

she looked at you, looked at your friends, and looked at the sky as if to ask god why she had to be the one who owned your favourite restaurant

“if you can bring over 100 customers to this restaurant… ill let you eat here for free”

your eyes widened, you sprang up thanking her profusely until taehyun came behind you and smacked your back, reprimanding you to fully listen to what the owner is saying

mrs.kim was clearly still questioning the words coming out of her mouth but still she continued, “until then you get a discount”

she put her hand out, which you shook without hesitation

and you got yourself your favourite ramen and takoyaki at a very discounted price that day

it was safe to say you were happy and full and thriving

until the next week came, and you were back in the same position… 

no money, no cooking skills to feed you, and mrs.kim staring at you as if she was about to call a shaman to curse you

you gulped as you looked at your empty bank account

“what was it that mrs.kim said about getting free food?” you asked taehyun

he just snorted at you, “not like your going to do it,”

you laughed along hollowly, before turning to kai

“do you think i should do it?”

kai just responded with wide eyes and a shaky thumbs up

you nodded and accepted your fate

you marched down to the university’s film department, got a camera and microphone and marched back to mrs. kim’s restaurant

you ignored to bewildered look on her face and set up the camera and placed an order

an order for every fucking dish at the restaurant

by dish twelve, taehyun had hit his protein goals for the week

by dish nineteen, kai felt like his jaw was going to fall off

by dish twenty seven, mrs. kim just sighed and wished she could tell your mom what he daughter was doing

it was safe to say that you grew three new stomachs that day along with kai and taehyun who were forced into eating and rating and talking through every dish mrs.kim had to offer

you worked hard to make sure to show all the dishes and to show just how yummy it is

the camera was being passed amongst you three and you were talking, but mainly munching

the things you were talking about felt irrelevant, but mainly covered little opinions you had and small facts about the food you had learned while daydreaming about it in class

you ignored mrs.kim incredulous look as you finished the last gimbap she made and ended the video with you politely saying good bye and hoping that everyone would come and try mrs.kim mouthwatering, jaw-dropping, yummy food.

you even ignored the look of all other patrons when you immediately dropped the smile, tied up your hair and started importing the footage on to your laptop to start editing immediately

kai and taehyun were left to do pr control as they politely bowed to everyone and smiled at anyone who stared at the huge amount of food consumed by three university students

it didnt matter to you, as this video would be uploaded tonight

it had to be

you would endure your ick of seeing yourself on camera and eating noises and you powered through and released a forty five minute video of you and your friends rating all the food this small restaurant had to offer

honestly, you didn’t even notice how mrs.kim didn’t even hand you the bill as you left a quarter to midnight to upload and film an intro video to your new channel : late night bites

you posted at the three thirty in the morning and immediately went to the gym, the heaviness in your stomach making you feel ill

you honestly didn’t think much of the video, not after the two days it took to recover from eating that much

it wasn’t until the next week, when you dragged kai and taehyun to mrs.kim restaurant again for a late night dinner did you realize what you did

you couldn’t be too upset, considering the long ass line that was trailing around the block

you strolled in the restaurant, ignoring the line and went straight to your favourite auntie

“so” … you started saying to mrs.kim, “about that free food?”

“shut up,” was all that mrs.kim said, before seating you and serving you the best miso ramen and takoyaki you ever had, all for free

HOW IT'S GOING !

turns out … attracting over three hundred new customers to a restaurant from a mukbang gets you a lot of attention

to the point where people had somehow found your private instagram and were somehow sending you messages, requesting you to dine and rate their restaurant

you were going to say no, for your loyalty to mrs.kim and the fact that some of these restaurants were charging prices like the food was made of gold

it wasn’t until you actually clicked on the message and saw that they were offering up the whole ass menu for a very discounted price

you shoved the phone into taehyun’s face before dragging him and kai to said very expensive restaurant

it seemed that every weekend a new restaurant would be asking you to do a taste test of your videos

and it was all fun, but you, taehyun and kai could only take so much

it was evident to a lot of people, but especially mrs.kim who watched as you simply poked at your takoyaki

she sighed, pinching her nose as she walked towards your table

“this cant keep happening,” is all she said as she dropped (more like gently placed in an aggressively loving manner) some egg fried rice in front of you

“you need to be more selective with what you say yes too,” she reprimands you before giving kai and taehyun the same treatment

it was then that the ever-so-busy mrs.kim told her husband to start cooking (despite him only knowing how to try his best) and sat down with you and your friends and taught you not only how to say no to yummy food but also how to manage your life

it was decided, with taehyun being your social media manager and kai being there for emotional support that you would post a mukbang every three weeks

giving you one week to recover

one week to eat

and another to recover

to keep engagement up, as taehyun explained it, you would post small vlog during those three weeks

you simply nodded, not minding these people deciding your life for you

meaning that you and kai nodded along as taehyun and mrs.kim recognized that they shared the same soul and the same need to see your life in order

under the shared guidance of taehyun and your (now) campus mom, mrs. kim - you post videos at new restaurants every three weeks, making sure to include your ramblings and reactions to give an honest rating of affordability and taste

after all, no one like a tone deaf person on the internet telling them to eat a cucumber salad worth three hours of minimum wage

slowly your popularity grew

through your buldak mukbangs to showing you crash out over your business major, people started loving you

it also didn’t help that taehyun would post you at the gym, making the girls in your comments ask about him and his ab routine

(you ignored those comments, after all this channel was about you)

but something about you eating and talking to camera like you were besties with the people watching made it so that you were proclaimed the internet’s favourite foodie

to the point where people would come up to on campus and ask for recommendations on what to eat

to which kai, who was politely fed up for waiting for you, suggested you make a blog

you looked at him like he was a genius

honestly, it didn’t matter what people thought about you and your food opinions

as long as you got to eat

INTRODUCING PARK JONGSEONG as JAY; THE INTERNET’S FAVOURITE CHEF

HOW IT STARTED !

jay was definitely not jealous

it’s not like heeseung’s posture was getting better from playing video games all night

unfortunately for jay though, heeseung’s wallet was getting fatter

and the meat prices at the restaurant were getting higher

meaning that jay couldn’t even make a comforting bowl of steak and pasta to make himself feel better

so he watched as heeseung was able to buy a nicer smelling hoodie, get nicer lights, and indulge in better quality ramen while he was stuck with the same everything

maybe it was a rash decision, but after seeing heeseung effortlessly cover his, jake’s, and sunghoon’s combined convenience store bill so easily (without using jake’s employee discount), he became determined

he wanted money, he needed money, he needed to be able to buy that $26 per pound steak comfortably without gawking at the bill as if he just got swindled by a dead cow

meaning he let everyone else go to bed before dashing to the 24/7 grocery store and buying everything needed to cook his favourite shrimp pasta

his mouth was watering as he got the shrimps from the tired man behind the seafood shrimps and tried not to wince at the price of eggs for his fresh pasta dough

he gave out an uncomfortable smile at the cashier as he pointedly avoided any mention or sight of the price he was paying

he walked back down to his apartment, snooping into heeseung’s room, only to gind the computer engineer student passed out ungracefully on his bed after going on a no-sleep marathon for the past week

he grabbed the camera he knew was from the uni’s film department and then shut the door

making sure to put heeseung’s nicer hoodie on the ground as a poor attempt to soundproof his roommate’s room

he sighed as he went through his ingredients, deciding he would meal prep for the week and cook for tonight

he set up the kitchen, making sure to make it as aesthetic as possible as he could in his run down apartment 

he washed all the vegetables, got out his nice chopping board, wiped the counters like three times, and even took out the fancy knives he begged his mom to get him as a housewarming gift

he dressed in his nicer shirt, made sure to roll up his sleeves because according to jake, the ladies love that, and set up the camera to make sure it shows just enough of his arms

he took a deep breath, and started filming, using his phone and two of heeseung’s three cameras to film all the aesthetic angles he could think of that did not show his face

he wasn’t trying to show his eyebags that the price of butter caused him

filming took an absurdly long time, he started around 1:30 in the morning and finished at 7, watching as heeseung stared at his hoodie on the floor and walked out to see ten boxes of shrimp and pasta meal-prepped with jay scrambling with a camera to take pictures of the finished meal

heeseung just shrugged and moved to eat cereal straight from the box

once jay was finally satisfied with the amount of footage he collected, he shamelessly sent it to sunghoon with a nice message … if you don’t edit this like the pinterest worthy video that it can be, there will be no more reaching your protein goals 

it was safe to say that jay was satisfied with the finished and edited video that he received three days later

now jay wasn’t a monster, since his video was mainly asmr, he added all the captions himself and let himself have some fun with how he typed out his thoughts

and there began the channel, the dinner diaries

the video was posted at the crack ass of dawn and garnered around a thousand views in a day

why? jay had no clue, but what he did know was that the man at the seafood counter offered his a discount the next time he saw jay

which jay smiled as he continued shooting and planning his next meal/video

he looked at his bank account and took one more longing look at the steak

soon…

soon he would be able to eat all the steak he wants

HOW IT'S GOING !

jake and sunghoon didn’t dare question the nice meals they were receiving from jay

heeseung didn’t question why their kitchen was slowly becoming more fancy every day

and even heeseung’s girlfriend stopped questioning why they were only eating at heeseung’s home for date nights

it was safe to say that jay had become a machine

he was cooking every other week, filming and obsessing over how each angle of his kung pao chicken was looking

making sure that the satisfying crunch that was supposed to come through in his crispy cauliflower bites for his vegetarian viewers were coming through

he was all over the kitchen, making sure that no one even thought about stepping foot in it without his supervision

everything was meticulous

however, since jay was such a perfectionist, he knew that his channel couldn’t just thrive off of recipe asmrs

so he branched out, he went out to restaurants, gave his review and showed how to replicate the components of the dish

he vlogged himself going grocery shopping, and getting his food science degree, and showing the difference between high quality packaging and high quality food

he also only showed his face in his vlogs, as it felt kind of awkward taking the time to set up a camera in public that doesn’t look at his face

so he gained a reputation amongst multiple cooks, whether it were eight year olds wanting to impress their moms who thought of him as a cool older brother, teenagers and younger adults who thought he was helpful and apparently attractive, and even older aunties who cooed in his comments about what a helpful young boy he was

he even started including his friends in his videos, engaging in dumb challenges with heeseung’s twitch channel on who can cook the best without a recipe 

or who can eat the most spicy shrimp, when jay accidentally overmarinated the sea creature

it was fun

jay was having so much fun

but what really sealed the deal on the cake was when a michelin star chef commented under one of his videos saying … woah, reminds me of myself, you got a great future kid !

so jay might have giggled like a school girl at that comment and also might have made like five posts about that comment

sunghoon looked at him in disgust and said something about keeping the nonchalance alive, but was then threatened once more with disappearing protein

however, the internet found themselves agreeing with the random certified chef and started calling jay mr. michelin chef

some even calling chefs to certify jay - which he declined but appreciated nonetheless

but the best perk of being a youtuber was the money

the money that went into bettering his videos

but also the money that went into his grocery bills

and so the next time jay went grocery shopping, he said the most beautiful words the world has ever known

“can i get two pounds of steak please”

and when the meat was finally secured, jay couldn’t even hide the smile that came across his face

at last, he could eat happy

INTRODUCING THE COUPLE; MR AND MRS "FOOD MAKES THE MOOD"

HOW YOU MET

every other week without fail you made sure to eat at mrs.kim’s

and after awhile, even she anticipated you, kai, and taehyun, and always prepared food that not only tasted good but also was good for you and ur unhealthy sodium intake

however this week, it was a little busier than usual

for reasons unbeknownst to you, your first mukbang went viral again, probably because you hit five million subscribers, but still, you don’t think that warranted you having to sit in the cold as you waited to eat at the restaurant you made famous

not only that but the group of boys behind you were so loud that it made you want to throw a pair of disposable chopsticks at them

so you did the mature thing and grumbled and complained to taehyun

grumbled to him about how you just the broth of your favourite miso ramen and how you also wanted to extra chashu in your ramen

“why the fuck do i have to be in the cold, i should be treated like a queen here considering im the one who tasted the menu enough to make it as good as it is”

as you were leaned against taehyun, pouting and grumbling you heard his voice

except taehyun’s voice wasn’t talking to you, but to his friend on the phone like three meters away from you

which made you come to the horrifying realisation that the man that you were leaning on was not kang taehyun

you closed your eyes and let out a gulp as you refused to turn around to face this unknown guy who suddenly lets innocent girls lean on them

“are you a creep?” is all you asked

instead of hearing an old man’s voice, you instead heard a deep warm one coming from the chest you were leaning against as he let out a small laugh, “i wanna say no, but i think even creeps would give that response,”

you couldn’t help but smile at his response, “i guess that’s true,” you said, “i guess what i really wanna ask is if your here for the famous food or the hot lady that made it famous,”

at first you refused to get off this man because of sheer awkwardness, however as he lightly moved himself so you were placed more in the middle than directly on his bone structure you couldn’t find it in yourself to leave the warmth he was providing, “well that depends,” he replied, “while i am here for the food, it would be wrong for me to deny how pretty the girl is that made it worth standing in line for,” there was a pause, “assuming that girl is you”

you hid a giggle as you nodded

“what’s your name?” you found yourself asking

“jay, “ he said

you smiled, "that’s a nice name”

to be honest, jay wanted to go grocery shopping tonight

he was so excited to finally see if the three for the price of one deal was on the cheese section, but instead he was dragged by jake to try a restaurant that went viral for its affordability and yummy food

which is why jay found himself, slightly tipsy due to jake’s insistence that the liquor would keep them warm in the cold night, standing in line 

he was ignoring heeseung, jake, and sunghoon who were busy being a nuisance to all those that dared to breathe near them, with their loud talking and nonsense topics, even jay couldn’t help but roll his eyes at them

but he couldn’t help but pause all his thoughts as a girl leaned on his chest, as if he had known her forever

the girl was pretty, like really pretty

but jay wasn’t really sure if that was the alcohol talking

what he did know, was that his responses were because of the alcohol, because there is no way he would be able to handle talking to such a pretty girl without wanting to shit himself

so he thanked jake’s annoying ass for forcing a sip of whiskey down his throat as he looked down at you and asked for your name

and he couldn’t help how his pupils turned into hearts at how beautiful your name sounded

there was a small pause after that, only disrupted by your decision to get off his chest and to see the man who made you giggle for the first time in awhile.

and you weren’t disappointed in the least

you two smiled at each other with ease, your cheeks pink because of the cold and his because of the whiskey

“so,” jay started, “you eat here a lot?”

you nodded, pride puffing up in your chest, “been here since the beginning,” you said, ignoring the established in 1988 sign that hung above you

jay smiled at your enthusiasm, “what do you like?” 

you started talking about your favourite foods, mainly mrs.kim’s ramen

to which jay responded, “did you know miso ramen is one of the easiest broths to make? it just takes the right paste and aromatics to get it,”

you blinked at him, “have you made it before?”

he shrugged, “i was debating it for a video of mine,” he paused, “i make cooking videos online,” he explained

you swear cupid just shot an arrow into your heart as you stared at him

you continued asking questions, asking about how your favourite meals from certain restaurants were made while jay patiently explained the theoretical technique that went down

You both were so wrapped up in your conversation that you didn’t even notice the line moving forward

neither did you notice kai and taehyun talking to heeseung, jake, and sunghoon about who the other person was with their friend

neither did you notice how mrs.kim made sure the two of you sat separately from your friends

it didn’t matter, especially not to jay who had come to see what methods made the food stand out at mrs.kim

after all, hearing you talk about all your favourite foods so passionately made him want to cook it all for you

THE YUMMIEST COUPLE AWARD GOES TOO

it became increasingly common for you to be at jay’s apartment

it started a week after meeting at mrs.kim’s, he would invite you to try new recipes

meaning that instead of going to restaurants for your once every three week mukbangs, you found yourself at this pretty boy’s house scarfing down his delicious lobster pasta

jake and sunghoon would watch in disgust as jay didn’t even scold you on how sauce was getting on the countertop, simply smiling and giving you another bite while wordlessly wiping the counter

each week, and after a while, each day you would come into his apartment, whether it would be after a mukbang, a long day, or simply just craving jay-sized company and would be met with a mouth-watering aroma that no restaurant could rival

he would start accompanying you in your mukbangs, taking over mrs.kim’s role of making sure your diet was balanced while providing commentary on how each dish was probably made

while you would come grocery shopping with him and tell him what youve been craving so he could base the next video after you

to be honest, your friends had no clue what the two of you were

after a month, taehyun and kai simply accepted jay tagging along with them to film mukbangs, while heeseung simply made room on their shoe rack for you

but if anyone asked them if you and jay were dating, they would just shrug and move on

to be honest, even the two of you weren’t clear if you were dating

instead, you just like being with each other, whether it was studying or late night trips to the convenience store

it wasn’t until you asked jay for his lobster spaghetti (your favourite) after a long day did the question get answered

as you smiled at jay as a thank you for his delicious food and comfort, jay did the bravest thing he’s ever done, even including the time he let jake cut a live lobster, he kissed you

you remember your eyes widening and stiffening, before melting into his natural aroma of garlic butter and bread and kissing him back

it was safe to say that heeseung came in to the apartment only to leave 

not that you cared, with your boyfriend being the best cook in the world

it felt weird having to announce your relationship to people

but you and jay simply agreed to let people come to the conclusion by themselves

while that mainly applied to the internet, it was also fun to see how disgustingly affectionate the two of you could act before everyone would realize

it took mrs.kim less than three minutes, rewarding you with teas that were good for fertility (that made the two of you red and choke) along with a special chocolate cake

your friends ranged from a day (heeseung) to two months (sunghoon and kai)

but the internet was another thing

you started forcing jay to carry a pompompurin plushie with him everywhere, saying that whenever he gets upset at old ladies hogging all the fresh bell peppers, to simply look at the keychain and calm down

and of course, you started bringing a badtz maru plushie with you, as the bird obviously looked like your boyfriend

people noticed, of course they noticed

they noticed the yellow dog that was always in frame during jay’s videos and they noticed the bird plushie that you always held onto when the food got too spicy

but it wasn’t until the next step, of having you start taste testing his food at the end of his videos, or hearing your voice in between asmr clips, did the internet start clocking it

and it didn’t stop there, when people noticed the bentos you ate during your vlogs, internet detectives discovered that those exact bentos were being meal prepped by jay in his last videos

but the two of you treated it so normally that no one dared brought it up

instead letting this relationship happen before their eyes

it went on for a few more years, they watched as jay moved on to a nicer blogger kitchen, and you went to do mukbangs at slightly fancier restaurants 

but all that mattered was that the two of you were fundamentally the same

from jay’s asmr to your commentary about shin ramyun, the internet didn’t dare complain

it wasn’t until the two of you dropped a post with you in a wedding dress and jay in a suit eating ramen at mrs.kim’s restaurant did the internet officially lose their minds

cause you two became the definition of love for all the food lovers out there <3

When you turned seventeen, Jay gave you his favourite hoodie before flying to Seattle for a month to visit his relatives. You wore it religiously while he was gone, just to feel a little closer to him. 

And till now somehow, Jay still orbited your everyday life.

“You’re late,” he said without looking up, eyes fixed on some game playing on the TV.

“I wasn’t even supposed to come today.”

“But you did,” he replied, finally turning to glance at you. His grin was lazy, a little smug. “Couldn’t stay away from The Jonginator 3000.”

“Gross,” you said, rolling your eyes. “Please never call yourself ever that again.”

You crossed the room and dropped onto the other end of the couch, knees curling up beside you as your shoulder brushed his. Jay made space for you without saying anything. 

“Here,” you muttered, digging through your tote bag and tossing a bag of chips his way. 

He caught it one-handed. “Oh, how you spoil me.”

“Well, that’s because you’re unbearable when you’re hungry.”

“And equally as charming when I’m full,” he added with a wink.

You bit back a smile, tilting your head with mock thoughtfulness. “Hm… I’m not sure that’s entirely accurate,” you said.

You liked to believe your friendship with Jay could weather even the strongest storms but lately, you weren’t so sure.

It wasn’t that anything had gone terribly wrong. 

It was quieter than that. Slightly more subtle? Things had just… started to change. Not in ways you could clearly name, but in the little things. 

You and Jay were friends. Best of friends, even.

Your mum had worked for his family for almost a decade, taking care of his grandmother, the same woman you’d come to call Grandma, too. Jay never minded. His grandmother never corrected you. If anything, she loved it. Jay was an only child, and without a granddaughter of her own, she’d folded you into her life without hesitation.

His family had always been kind. They treated your mum with respect, and you never felt looked down on.

But lately, something had started to shift. Nothing harsh or particularly cruel. Just… small things, little things you were starting to piece together.

Maybe it was the way people talked about the future now about colleges, cities, careers. Plans that didn’t involve waking up in your childhood bedroom. Plans that didn’t include walking into Jay’s room, knocking once before flopping onto his bed to rant about terrible Netflix documentaries you’d force him to watch.

But most of all, they were plans that didn’t include both of you.

Maybe it was the realisation that Jay was heading somewhere you couldn’t afford to follow.

And maybe Jay was starting to realise that too.

You loved him. Almost too much. You didn’t like putting a label on it. Romantic, platonic, it didn’t matter. All you knew was that he made you laugh when you wanted to cry, and he made you smile when you were knee-deep in anger.

And losing that? Losing him? Somehow, that scared you more than anything.

You’d left for the bathroom a little over five minutes ago, but it took nearly three just to get back to Jay’s room.

You were about to push open the door, fully prepared to return and absolutely obliterate him in the game you’d been playing, when you heard a voice.

“Baby,” his mum said gently.

You froze. Your hand hovered just above the doorknob. Something about her tone stopped you. It sounded serious… a little too serious for you to barge in like nothing.

So you didn’t.

You stayed where you were, just outside his door, waiting for the right moment to step in.

“Mom, I’m not going,” Jay said. You could hear the sound of him ruffling his hair, followed by a long sigh.

His mum exhaled softly. “Jong, it’s a tradition. The family went there. I went there. You—”

“I’m not going,” he repeated, firmer this time.

There was a pause.

“If this is about…” she began before letting out a deep breath. “Look, I love her. You know I do. I treat her like a daughter too, but baby, this is a big deal. You have one foot in the door and you’re throwing it all away?”

“Mom—”

“No, listen to me.” Her voice cracked slightly. “You can always come back to her, but this… this is a once-in-a-lifetime chance.”

A long stretch of silence followed, thick and heavy, before she spoke again, softer now but still thick with tension.

“I’m not saying she isn’t good for you. She is. She’s smart, she’s pretty. She’s… kind. But do you really think the two of you have anything in common besides growing up together?”

Oh. Oh. Oh…

So this was how they saw you: not bad, not unworthy…just not enough. Not for him. 

“Baby,” she said, “the two of you are on different paths and…well, Jong, you were meant for greater things. Big things.”

Through the small crack in the doorframe, you caught a glimpse of Jay, sitting on the edge of his bed, brows furrowed, elbows resting on his knees. He wasn’t answering. He looked like he was thinking about it.

That hurt more than anything.

You backed away quietly, each step careful, like even your breath might give away that you had been listening. When you reached the top of the stairs, you glanced down at your feet, your socks, mismatched and worn. They had never felt like such a statement before. And now, in this house, with its icy cold Italian marble floors, they felt impossibly…prominent.

You were rushing toward the door when something made you pause. The second living room, the one you’d always walked past, never into. You turned, just a little, just enough to see it.

The walls were lined with frames. Studio portraits of Jay and his parents, always dressed to the nines, always looking like they belonged on the cover of some high-society magazine. There were formal family shots with his extended relatives, his cousins in their prep school uniforms, their parents with Rolexes and pearl earrings, champagne glasses in hand at some gala that probably changed the world without you knowing.

Then your eyes landed on the final frame tucked in the corner.

Jay, standing beside the minister at a government scholarship ceremony. A navy suit that fit him too well. His parents beaming on either side of him. The plaque in his hand gleaming. You remembered that day vaguely, he had texted you something self-deprecating about tripping on stage. You had laughed then.

You weren’t laughing now.

Because all of it somehow was starting to feel like a mockery of just how different your worlds really were. There was a bitter sting in your chest, and you weren’t sure if it was jealousy over a life you’d never live, or the ache of knowing someone you liked so much came from a place you could never quite reach.

While Jay had birthday dinners at restaurants you didn’t even know existed, yours were made of takeout leftovers and cakes baked in a neighbor’s oven. Jay had a whole wall of proof that he belonged. And all the while, you didn’t even have matching socks.

—

Jay: Did you just leave? Without saying goodbye? 🙁

You didn’t reply.

You were too deep in your own spiral…spinning, crashing, drowning in thoughts you didn’t ask to think. His mom had been right. About everything.

She hadn’t been cruel. She hadn’t even sounded angry. Just… honest. Like a mother trying to protect her son from making a mistake. And maybe you were the mistake. You knew she liked you. You knew the whole family did. But that didn’t change the fact that you’d always been her daughter, the caregiver’s daughter. Not one of them. Not really.

And for the first time in your life, you felt it, not just the distance, but the pity. Ten years of your mom’s hard work, all the quiet pride she carried, all the long nights and it suddenly felt like none of it mattered. You were just the tagalong. A nice girl with nowhere better to be.

You were never someone in that house. You were just... there.

Your phone lit up again.

Jay: I’m coming over.

Your eyes flew open. “Damn it–” you muttered, wiping your face with the sleeve of your hoodie.

You: Don’t.

Jay: Huh?

You: I’m fine.

Jay: But you left so soon?

You: I had to take a shit so I left.

There was a pause.

Jay: I have a bathroom, you idiot.

You: It’s too fancy. I like mine better.

Jay: LOL well at least say goodbye next time. I went around the house like an idiot looking for you for 10 whole minutes.

You stared at the screen, thumb hovering. You wanted to say more. 

But you didn’t want him to pity you too.

—

Jungwon stood beside you, rhythmically tapping two fingers against your back, drumming out a song only he could hear. You hunched forward at the front desk, shoulders tense, chin propped against your palm as you glared at the dusty computer monitor displaying your completely empty Tuesday schedule. 

You part timed at Goober Galaxy, an indoor playground targeted for kids ages 3 and up. Today was quiet. It was the perfect shift for a breakdown. Unfortunately, Jungwon hadn’t gotten the memo.

You swatted his hand away without even turning around. “Cut it out.”

He laughed, and leaned over the counter so that his chin now rested on his folded arms beside yours. “I’m bored,” he declared, eyes scanning your blank expression.

“Then go find something to do.”

“I like bothering you,” he said with a smile.

You turned to glare at him, grabbing the nearest pencil and holding it up like a weapon. “I’ll stab you with this.”

“Ooh, how scary,” he said, grinning wider. 

“Shut up.”

You didn’t mean for it to come out as sharp as it did. Jungwon blinked, his smile faltering just a little but only for a second. You dropped the pencil back onto the desk and folded your arms, slumping deeper into your chair. You’d been like this all day: distracted, fogged over, stuck in your own head with thoughts of you and Jay.

It’d been two days since you left Jay’s house without saying goodbye. Two days since you’d heard his mother’s voice echoing in the hallway, reminding him that people like you didn’t belong in their world. 

He’d been texting you ever since. But every time your phone lit up with his name, your heart clenched so hard it made you nauseous. You couldn’t answer. Not when you didn’t know how to exist next to him without feeling small.

You didn’t realize Jungwon had moved until he dropped onto the beanbag beside your stool with a dramatic huff, his legs splayed out in front of him, head tilted toward you.

“Okay,” he said, “seriously. Who is it?”

You didn’t answer.

“Come on,” he continued, tapping his foot against your shoe. “Tell the master of Women who has you acting up like this.”

“I highly doubt you even know what a woman is.”

You let out a breath through your nose and glanced at him. Jungwon’s dark hair tousled from where he’d been running his hand through it, polo shirt wrinkled, name tag barely hanging on. He was annoying and loud. But he was also one of the only people who understood what it meant to want more than you were allowed to have. You both had jobs instead of highly paid tutors, worn-out sneakers instead of new ones, savings goals that felt like they’d never be reached.

He didn’t know what was wrong. Not exactly. But he knew enough to ask.

Still, your voice caught in your throat. You couldn’t bring yourself to say it aloud: I overheard Jay’s mom say I don’t belong in his world and I think she’s right and now I can’t even look at him without wanting to cry.

So instead, you mumbled, “It’s nothing.”

Jungwon didn’t push. He just leaned back with a sigh and said, “You know I’ll keep annoying you until you tell me, right?”

You looked at him out of the corner of your eye. “I know.”

He grinned. “Cool. Just making sure we’re on the same page.”

You sighed then tilted your head toward him, your voice quiet. “D’you ever think we’ll be bigger than we are right now?”

Jungwon blinked, caught off guard. “I mean… I heard Mr. Kim say we stop growing after we turn 18, but I’m not too sure.” He tilted his head dramatically, thinking hard. “Though… I have been drinking more milk lately so all fingers crossed!”

You snorted, rolling your eyes. “You know that’s not what I meant! I meant... just us. Will we ever be bigger than this? Than who we are now?”

He looked at you, his smile fading into something gentler. You didn’t usually say things like this. “Like... spiritually? Emotionally? Or like tax bracket-wise?”

You stared at him flatly.

“Okay, okay,” he laughed, raising both hands in surrender. “I get it. You mean like, in the world.”

You nodded slowly, your voice tightening. “I mean…look at us….We’re just... two kids. Two random people in this giant fuckin’ world. And there are people out there who are so much bigger than us. So much more important. Doing things that matter. And we’re just here. Doing this.”

Jungwon leaned his head back against the beanbag, legs stretched out in front of him. He looked up at the ceiling for a long moment before shrugging. “I don’t know,” he said finally. “But I like where I am.”

You glanced at him, brows furrowed. “You like working for scraps?”

He didn’t hesitate. “Well... it’s a Tuesday afternoon, and I’m hanging out with the prettiest girl I know. So yeah. Not bad.”

You shoved his shoulder, trying not to smile. “Be serious, Won.”

His expression softened then, all teasing drained out of it. He shifted to face you more fully, his voice quieter. “Okay. You’re upset. And since it’s you, and you don’t get like this unless it’s something big, I’m guessing this is about Jay.”

You didn’t answer. You didn’t have to.

Jungwon reached out and gently poked your forehead. “Then let me say this clearly: you need to stop letting that big, overthinking brain of yours spiral.”

You exhaled shakily.

“I know Jay. Not like you do, obviously,” he added with a small grin, “but well enough. And I know, for a fact, that Jay doesn’t give a single fuck that we’re working at...” He looked around and grimaced. “Goober Fuckin’ Galaxy.”

You laughed.

“I’m serious,” he said, nudging your knee with his. “That guy looks at you like you invented…I don’t know…the freaking internet? It clearly doesn’t matter what job you have, or where you come from. You’re not small to him. Not to me. Not to Hee. Not to any of us.”

You didn’t reply, but something in your chest eased…just a little.

The bell above the entrance gave its usual pathetic worn out ding, but you didn’t look up…no one came to Goober Galaxy on a Tuesday. That was the whole point of working Tuesdays. 

“Uh oh,” he muttered beside you, sitting up from his beanbag.

“What?” you asked, barely glancing over.

“Lover boy incoming.”

Your brows knit together as you turned and froze.

Jay was standing in the entrance, chest rising like he’d sprinted from the subway (which he’s probably never taken), hair tousled in that way that looked both accidental and annoyingly perfect. In one hand, he held a bouquet of white daisies wrapped in soft brown paper. In the other, a box of chocolates with a ribbon tied so tight it was starting to crumple the corner.

And then you noticed it, the faint red splotches blooming across his knuckles, creeping up his wrist. His grip didn’t falter. Jay was allergic to flowers. You’d known that since forever, since the day he sneezed through an entire spring picnic and blamed the pollen for his watery eyes.

Your heart twisted.

Suddenly, you felt awful. And soft. And maybe a little bit in love all over again.

He walked straight toward you, eyes never leaving your face, and you hated the way your breath caught.

“Hey,” he said, his voice low and urgent. “I’m sorry.”

You blinked, completely thrown. “What?”

“I’m sorry,” he said again, pushing the flowers into your hands like they might prove his sincerity. “I don’t know what I did. But whatever it is, I’m sorry, okay? I—I didn’t mean to upset you. I didn’t even realize something was wrong until you stopped replying and then I thought maybe it was something I said or maybe I looked at you weird and—”

“Jay—”

“I was going to come yesterday, but I didn’t want to be pushy. And then I tried calling again this morning but I figured maybe you were busy—”

“Jay.”

He finally paused, breath short, his eyes scanning your face with desperation. And just like that, your chest ached in another way.

He didn’t know. He thought he did something wrong. And he came all the way here just to apologize for a mistake he didn’t even understand.

You looked down at the daisies, hands curling around the brown paper. The stems were still wet. Fresh, which means he got the flowers that day. 

God, he was sweet. Stupidly, painfully sweet.

Before you could say anything, Jungwon cleared his throat loudly from behind the counter. “Sooooo,” he drawled. “You got her flowers and chocolates? What do I get?”

Jay turned to look at him with the flattest, most unimpressed expression you’d ever seen. Without a word, he reached into his hoodie pocket, pulled out a single crumpled bill, and tossed it onto the counter.

“A dollar,” he said.

Jungwon stared at it. “That’s it?”

“You’re lucky I didn’t give you lint from my pocket.”

“Then…I’ll just have the dollar.” Jungwon muttered, pocketing the dollar.

Jay turned back to you, lips parted like he wanted to say more but the words didn’t come.

Jungwon hadn’t moved.

He was still standing there, hovering way too close, arms crossed, eyes bouncing between you and Jay like he was watching the tension build. His eyes crossing between you and Jay’s a silly grin on his stupid face.

You shot him a look. “Can you get lost?”

He raised an eyebrow, clearly unbothered. “It’s Tuesday. I’m bored. I wanna see how this plays out.”

“You want entertainment?”

“Desperately.”

You sighed through your nose, then shoved the box of chocolates into his chest without looking. “Here. Take this. Go sit in the ball pit and eat this.”

He stared at the box, then back at you. “These are from him, though.”

“I don’t care. Just go.”

A smug smile bloomed on his face as he clutched the box. “You know what? Say less.”

And with that, he strolled off, climbing into the nearest corner of a giant ball pit, where he immediately sprawled across the plastic balls.

You turned back to Jay, your eyes flicking upward to meet his.

He was still watching you, brows drawn just slightly. His arms were at his sides now, hands twitching like he wasn’t sure whether to reach for you or give you space. He didn’t know what he’d done, but he knew something had changed. And it was killing him.

You looked at the flowers still in your hands. You looked back at him. You weren’t sure which one made your chest hurt more.

So you said it.

“I heard what your mom said that day.”

His entire expression shifted subtly. His mouth parted, but he didn’t speak.

“I didn’t mean to,” you added, softer now. “I was coming back to the room and I just… I overheard the entire conversation.”

Jay’s shoulders tensed. He looked down for a second, then up again, jaw clenched, eyes searching your face. 

You swallowed. “I wasn’t avoiding you because I was mad. I just… I don’t know...I didn’t know how to act.”

For a moment, he didn’t say anything. Just blinked slowly, like the words were still settling into place.

“Look,” Jay said finally, his voice low but firm, “you don’t have to worry about it. I’m not going anywhere—”

“Jay,” you cut in, your voice sharper than you meant, “I’m not worried about that.”

You looked down, fingers tightening around the bouquet of daisies in your hands. The stems crinkled slightly in your grip.

“I’m not mad about what she said,” you said quietly. “I’m just... she’s right.”.

His mouth opened slightly, brows drawing together like he didn’t understand how those words could’ve come from you. His chest rose as if to argue, but he didn’t speak yet. He couldn’t.

You lifted your gaze slowly, and your throat burned. “She’s right, Jay. We don’t have anything in common besides growing up together.”

He shook his head immediately, stepping closer. “You’re more than what she said—”

“Jay,” you said again, this time with a bitter laugh laced into it, “who are we kidding?”

He sighed when you cut him off.

“I work in a stupid kids’ playground called Goober Galaxy. You’re in every high-end after school academy, tutoring centre, test prep institute money can buy. You’re made to get straight A’s, made to end up at some fancy university. Made to do something big. I’m not.”

“I don’t care about any of that,” he said, his voice cracking just barely at the edges. “Do you think I ever looked at you and saw anything less?”

Jay exhaled shakily and ran a hand through his hair, pushing it back from his forehead. “I’ve liked you since the day you showed up behind your mom in that stupid little yellow dress you hated. You were hiding behind her, and God—” he let out a soft laugh, almost breathless, “The moment you sat beside me, you punched me in the shoulder and said I had a dumb name. I’ve liked you since then.”

Your eyes fluttered up to glance at him, but only for a second, before dropping back to your shoes. He reached out gently, fingers brushing under your chin, and tilted your face toward his.

“I loved that version of you,” he said, eyes locked onto yours. “I love this version of you. I’ve never thought you were less than me. Not even once. It’s always been you.”

The silence that followed clung to the air, thick and trembling.

You stared at him, barely breathing, barely able to believe this was real. 

“Jay–”

“UH GUYS, CAN I COME OUT NOW?” Jungwon’s voice rang out, followed by a hacking cough. “I THINK I SWALLOWED THE RIBBON.”

You almost burst into laughter. Almost. 

But instead, you did the one thing you’d been aching to do for far too long.

You leaned forward over the counter and kissed him.

Jay froze for just a split second, stunned. His hand hovered uncertainly beside you, like he didn’t know if he was allowed to touch you. But his eyes fluttered shut, and when you pulled away, his lips chased yours like he didn’t want it to end.

His cheeks flushed immediately. He laughed softly, a little dazed. “I didn’t think today would end up like this.”

You smirked. “Do you want me to take it back?”

He shook his head quickly, still smiling. “No. I just... I wish it wasn’t in front of—”

The both of you turned.

Jungwon was now sitting fully upright in the ball pit, legs criss-crossed, waving at you. A half-eaten piece of chocolate dangled from his fingers.

“I think I’m the first person to ever witness a love confession in Goober Galaxy,” he said. “A sentence that has never, ever been said before in the history of mankind.”

Jay groaned and dropped his head onto the counter with a thud. “Why are you like this?”

He tilted his head, beaming like he’d just officiated a wedding. “So… can I come out now?”

You and Jay both answered without missing a beat.

“No.”

—

The two of you had been dating for a whole month now and sneaking around had become a normal occurrence for the two of you.

A month of stolen glances, hushed giggles, and kisses behind closed doors. You came over under the same old pretense, “I’m just hanging out at Jay’s while waiting for Mom to finish work”. It was familiar. There was nothing to question.

Except now, every time you stepped into his room, the door clicked shut behind you and the rest of the world disappeared.

You’d start out pretending to study. Laptops open, notebooks flipped to blank pages, a pencil stuck behind your ear. Jay would sit beside you, his knee pressed against yours, trying really hard for maybe ten minutes. And then he’d look over.

You’d barely meet his eyes before his lips were on yours.

Usually, soft first then it goes deeper, slower, the kind of kissing that made you forget what time it was. It’d be 4:30 one moment and 6:00 the next. He’d push your hair behind your ear, you’d tug lightly on his hoodie, and the math textbook between you would be quietly shoved to the floor by someone’s feet.

It always ended the same way. A knock at the door. Your mom’s voice floating in, “Come on, time to head home!”

You’d jolt apart, breathless, cheeks burning, smoothing out your hair and reaching blindly for a notebook. “Okay!” you’d call out, voice a little too high. Jay would flop back onto his bed, dramatic and pouty.

Your mom would open the door, glance in, see the two of you surrounded by notes and open textbooks, and nod. “I’ll wait downstairs.”

“Just five more minutes,” you’d reply automatically.

She’d leave. And before you could even stand, Jay would hook a finger through your sleeve and pull you gently back down.

One last kiss. And then another. And then five more, because he always said one wasn’t enough. He’d press them to your cheeks, your nose, your forehead, grinning like an idiot.

“Do you really have to go?” he’d mumble, arms still around you.

“She’s literally my ride home.”

“I could give you a ride.”

You snorted and leaned back just enough to look at him. “You got your license like... five minutes ago.”

“Exactly. I’m freshly certified. I’m a responsible driver.”

“Jay,” you said flatly, “I heard what grandma said about you hitting the curb”

Jay groaned, dropping his head into the crook of your neck. “What a snitch.”

You laughed, pulling away gently as you stood up. “That’s a no, by the way. You’re not driving me home.”

Jay pouted, tugging lightly on your hand. “You don’t trust me?”

“I trust you. I just wanna go home in one piece tonight.”

Still pouting, he leaned up and kissed your cheek, your jaw, the corner of your mouth. “One day you’ll be begging me for a ride.”

“Sure. The day you stop kissing the curb.”

—

It was another ordinary day, or at least it had started that way. You were in Jay’s room, lying beside him with your head propped on your hand, half-listening to him ramble about something stupid Heeseung had texted. His hand was resting on your knee, your fingers loosely interlocked until the knock came.

The door creaked open a second later.

“Oh,” his mother said, her smile soft but surprised. “You’re here.”

You sat up immediately, your hand slipping out of his. You nodded politely, reaching for your bag even though you weren’t meant to leave for another hour. What used to feel like home now made your shoulders tense. Jay noticed. Of course he did.

“Are you staying for dinner?” his mother asked, stepping inside like she always had.

You shook your head quickly. “No. I was actually just about to leave.”

“So soon?” she pouted slightly. “You haven’t eaten dinner with us in a while.”

“I just have a lot of homework to get through,” you replied with a rehearsed smile, slinging your bag over your shoulder. You turned to Jay, silently asking if he’d stop you, if he’d ask you to stay. But he saw it. The unease in your body, the way your smile didn’t quite meet your eyes. He wanted to reach for you, to pull you back down and kiss the worry out of your forehead. But he didn’t.

He just nodded. Smiled like it didn’t hurt.

“Go,” he said gently.

And so you did.

The door clicked shut behind you. 

Jay stood there for a beat, staring at the closed space you’d just filled. Then he turned back, meeting his mother’s gaze across the room.

She crossed her arms. “Is something wrong?” she asked, frowning now. “She hasn’t stayed for dinner in almost two months.”

“Nothing’s wrong, Mom.”

“I think there is.”

Jay exhaled, his jaw tight. And he hated it…hated how something that was once easy had turned into this sharp-edged discomfort. How your laughter had grown quieter. How he had to love you in secret all because the life carved out for him didn’t have room for anything outside of perfect.

Over the past two months, Jay had started to feel something sour curling inside him. A quiet resentment. Not towards you. Never you. But toward everything else. Toward the silent expectation to carry generations of ambition on his back. He loved his mother, God, he really did. But that love didn’t soften the frustration. It didn’t erase how badly things had shifted between you both since that night.

He had so many things to be grateful for. But all he’d ever really wanted was you. Just to be by your side. And somehow, even that felt like something he wasn’t allowed to have.

“Mom, drop it,” he said, voice flat.

She frowned, stepping further into the room. “Jongseong, you’ve been acting different since the day—”

“That’s because I’ve been talking, and you haven’t been listening,” he snapped.

Her expression faltered. “What do you want me to do, Jong? Your dad and I have worked tirelessly for this opportunity—”

“That I didn’t ask for!” His voice cracked, hands clenched at his sides.

“You are going to that university. It’s in your blood. It’s good for you. And deep down, you know it too. If I told her how important this is, how good it is for you, I’m pretty sure she’d be supportive.”

“Don’t tell her.”

She froze.

“Baby—”

“Don’t. Tell. Her.” he repeated, each word heavier than the last.

His mother blinked, visibly thrown by his tone. And Jay just stood there, chest heaving, trying to hold back the rest of the words rising in his throat. Because if he said more, he wasn’t sure what would come out.

He just knew this: She wasn’t allowed to take you from him, too.

—

The two of you had wandered into a small alleyway market off the main district, less glossy, more charm. Little stalls lined both sides, selling handmade accessories, mismatched shoes, thrifted bags with peeling zippers, and the kind of bracelets that cost just enough to mean something, but not enough to break a wallet.

You stopped in front of a table full of them, rows of braided cords, beaded charms, faded ribbons wrapped around thin, bendy wire. You held up one with small star-shaped beads, smiling a little to yourself.

Jay hovered beside you, hands shoved in his pockets, eyes scanning the stall. “You sure you want one of these?” he asked, not unkindly, just confused. “There’s a place down the street that does custom silver bands. We can go there. I’ll pay.”

You shook your head immediately, the smile slipping off your face. “I don’t want anything too expensive,” you said quietly. “I just want something pretty.”

Jay frowned. “Yeah, but we could get something prettier. Something that’ll last. I just—why not get something better?”

You didn’t say anything at first, just lowered your hand. Something in your chest twisted. He didn’t mean anything by it. You knew that. But it still hit the wrong nerve.

You turned to him, jaw tightening. “Just because I’m buying cheaper things doesn’t mean they’re ass, Jay.”

He blinked, startled. “I didn’t even mean it that way,” he said, voice low but tense. “I just meant—if there’s something you want, I’ll get it for you. That’s all. You don’t have to—”

“I don’t want anything,” you cut in, too fast, too sharp. “Not with your money.”

The silence that followed was instant.

Jay’s brows lifted slightly. He’d been reaching for your hand without even realizing it, but at that, he pulled back. Just a fraction. Just enough to make your heart drop. His expression didn’t shift much, just the tiniest flicker of hurt. But that was worse. You could tell when he was trying not to show it.

You reached for him quickly, fingers wrapping around his hand before he could pull away further. Your grip tightened, desperate.

“I’m sorry,” you said, softer this time. “I didn’t mean it. I just—sometimes I feel weird. I don’t know.”

Jay looked at you for a long moment. And then, wordlessly, he pulled you into his arms. 

Your face pressed against his chest, your fists gripped onto the fabric of his hoodie. He didn’t say anything.

“I just want to give you everything,” he whispered after a long silence.

And even though your throat burned, you didn’t cry. You just nodded, clinging to him.

—

Jay stared long and hard at the framed certificates on the wall of his father’s office.

He’d been sitting there ever since he got back from your little date.

You’d cried for almost 30 minutes before finally falling asleep on his shoulder. He’d felt every quiet sob, the uneven rise and fall of your chest. Like being with him hurt.

He knew you loved him. God, he loved you just as much, probably more. But seeing you in that much pain simply because the two of you came from different worlds made his chest ache.

He didn’t care about any of it. Not the money. Not the future his parents had mapped out. Not the name on the wall in front of him.

But you did.

He didn’t know how to fix it. How to make you believe you were never less than him. That you’d always been the best part of his world.

“Jong?”

Jay’s head snapped up. His mother stood at the door, peeking through. He cleared his throat and quickly wiped away a single tear he hadn’t realised had fallen.

“Mom,” he said, nodding stiffly.

He hadn’t spoken to her since the last time she tried to push him into going.

Jay had already made peace with attending a good university in Korea. One that meant a thirty-minute drive from you. One that didn’t require a time zone between your hands. He didn’t care about prestige. He didn’t need legacy. He just needed you.

Because no place could feel like home unless you were there.

He wanted a small, lived-in apartment where the walls were filled with pictures of the two of you, some crooked, some blurry, all perfect. He wanted late mornings and lazy nights, strumming his guitar while you sat on his lap, flipping through TV channels.

He didn’t want boardrooms. He wanted breakfast in bed. He wanted you in his hoodie, laughing at something stupid, your legs tangled with his on the couch. He wanted to choose that life.

He just didn’t know how because his life wasn’t his.

His parents were successful, respectable, powerful, intimidating in every room they walked into. And Jay? He was their only child. The heir. The one meant to carry it all.

He didn’t want to seem ungrateful. He knew he was lucky. But sometimes…he wished he was at Goober Galaxy right next to you. Sweeping floors, handing out stickers, chasing after toddlers. Living the kind of life he got to choose.

He wished he could trade places with Jungwon, just for a moment. To know what it felt like to live freely, to love without strings.

But he wasn’t Jungwon.

He was stuck. Caged by expectations that didn’t belong to him. And no one had asked if he wanted them.

“Your dad wants to see you.”

Jay blinked. His mother was still standing in the doorway, phone in hand, the screen already lit up with a call. He swallowed. She passed it to him without another word.

Jay sat up straighter, the back of his neck already tensing as he accepted the phone. His father's face filled the screen, sharp suit, crisp tie, backdrop of a sleek conference room somewhere in Hong Kong. The time zone difference didn't matter. His father always made time when it came to lectures.

“Jongseong,” his father began without pleasantries, eyes narrowing slightly. “What’s this I hear about you not wanting to attend Oxford?”

Jay opened his mouth, but no sound came out. He glanced at the wall, at the same framed degree he’d been staring at moments earlier, and felt the familiar weight return to his chest.

With his mother, he always knew what to say. How to deflect, how to counter her logic with his own. But with his father… it was different.

With his father, Jay always felt like a little boy again.

Like he wasn’t the man of the house, but a kid sitting at the edge of a chair too big for him, trying not to swing his legs.

With his father gone so often, Jay had stepped into the role by default…holding things down, keeping things quiet, managing expectations. But every time his dad reappeared, even just through a screen, it was like the years peeled off and left him exposed.

He felt his mouth go dry. His fingers curled tightly around the edge of the phone.

“I’ve… decided not to go,” he said finally, voice quiet but steady.

There was a pause. A beat of silence that buzzed louder than any scolding.

“Decided?” his father repeated, eyes narrowing. “Jong, we don’t just decide things. You know that.”

His voice rose, firm and cold.

“We’re not like anyone else. Do you understand that? You don’t get to just throw away opportunities people would kill for.”

Jay swallowed again, throat tight. He wanted to argue. He wanted to say I don’t want it. I never did. But the words sat heavy in his chest, unmoving.

He didn’t want any of it. But how could he say that to a man who had spent his entire life building it?

“I—”

“Son,” his father’s voice dropped, deeper now, tinged with concern. “I didn’t… we didn’t build this by making decisions that went against our family. We built this by honouring tradition. By upholding it.”

“Dad—”

“We’re not just… anyone, Jongseong. You have to remember that. Even when it comes to the people we keep close.”

Jay’s eyes flicked to his mother, still standing in the doorway. Her gaze faltered just slightly.

So she told him. About you.

Of course she did.

And now it wasn’t just about the university anymore. It was about you. About everything he’d kept safe and sacred. Everything he thought he could keep separate.

—

You barged into his room with your bag slung over your right shoulder, hair slightly windblown..

“School was so boring!” you groaned, flopping straight onto his sofa. Without warning, you dropped your head onto his lap, staring up at the ceiling.

“But you wouldn’t guess what happened though,” you continued, grin creeping onto your face. “I got an A for Biology and Hee got an F, so now he has to retake the test. He looked like he was about to cry—”

You stopped mid-sentence.

Jay wasn’t laughing.

He wasn’t smiling.

His eyes were somewhere else, fixed on a spot just past you, like he wasn’t really here at all. 

Your smile faltered.

You sat up slowly, shifting your weight until you were straddling his lap. His hands instinctively moved to your waist, but his gaze was still lost. So you reached for his face. Your hands cradled his jaw, thumbs pressing gently into the softness of his cheeks as you squished them together.

“Jay?” you said softly, brows furrowed. “Where’d you go?”

That finally pulled his eyes back to you.

He blinked, like surfacing from deep water, lips parted as if he’d forgotten how to speak.

“Jay?” you repeated, your voice quieter now, more cautious.

Jay shook his head quickly, almost like he was trying to shake something off. Then his hands tightened around your waist, grounding himself.

“Baby,” he murmured.

“You okay?” you asked, eyes searching his face.

He nodded. “Yeah. Fine.”

But he wasn’t. Not even close.

Ever since the call with his father, the decision had been made for him…he would be going to Oxford. It wasn’t a question. It wasn’t a discussion. It was a statement, sharp and final. There was no room to disagree, no room to even think. 

Not that he had a choice. He never really did.

Jay had spent the entire night buried under the covers of his bed, staring blankly at the ceiling as the hours ticked by. His phone had lit up over and over again, messages from his mom, soft knocks at the door but he hadn’t moved. 

He didn’t want to read what she had to say. He didn’t want to hear reassurances...not anymore. Because the truth was, nothing anyone said would make it feel any better.

And now here you were, sitting in his lap, smiling like the sun, laughing about your day, trusting that the world hadn’t just changed for him entirely.

He didn’t know how to tell you.

Didn’t know how to say he was leaving.

Didn’t know how to break your heart when you had only just handed it to him.

But he had to.

Because he was leaving.

At this point, it wasn’t about academics. It wasn’t about prestige. It was about control.

His father thought this was the cleanest way to fix things.

Remove the distraction.

Remove the attachment.

Remove you.

Jay felt it in his chest, this sick, sinking sense of being packaged up and delivered to a life he never chose. Like this would be better. Like this would make things easier. Not for him. But for them.

—

You were worried.

Jay wasn’t acting like himself. He wasn’t snarky, or smug, or sarcastic in the way you’d come to love. He wasn’t cracking jokes or teasing you every time you said something dumb. He was quiet and distracted. 

Jay was usually good at hiding things. But today… today, whatever it was had cracked through.

So naturally, you turned to the two most emotionally stunted people you knew.

“I think he’s broken,” you declared, arms folded on the table in front of you. “Like, actually broken.”

Jungwon blinked. “Did you try turning him off and back on again?”

“I’m serious, Won,” you said, glaring at Jungwon, “He hasn’t texted me all day. And yesterday, he...was so different? I don’t know what’s wrong but it’s not nothing.”

“Have you considered…” Jungwon began, “that he’s just constipated?”

“Jungwon, I swear to God—”

“I’m just saying, emotional constipation and actual constipation are cousins.”

“Please shut up,” you muttered, face in your hands.

Across from you, Heeseung was flipping through his notebook like he wasn’t listening. But then he spoke, casually, without even looking up.

“Why don’t you plan something lowkey for him?” he said. “Like, something you guys used to do. Remind him what home feels like. He clearly needs it.”

You and Jungwon both froze.

Then slowly, you turned to look at him.

Heeseung glanced up, blinking at your silence. “What?”

Jungwon pointed at him dramatically. “Holy shit, that’s the first good idea you’ve ever had.”

You side-eyed Jungwon. “You haven’t had a good idea today either, Won.”

“Yeah, but I usually do,” he shrugged, sipping his drink. “So this makes up for it.”

Still, you leaned back in your chair, chewing on the inside of your cheek as you let the idea settle.

Something simple. Something that would pull Jay out of whatever fog he was in and back into the version of himself he only ever seemed to be around you.

Maybe Heeseung was right. Maybe it wasn’t about fixing anything. Maybe it was about reminding him that he was loved.

–

You sat on the edge of the sofa, elbows resting on your knees, hands fidgeting with the sleeve of your hoodie. Jay was upstairs grabbing something, his keys maybe, or a jacket, or just taking forever like he always did. You’d planned everything with Jungwon and Heeseung down to the detail. A quiet dinner at your place. His favourite food, his favourite people, and a homemade banner Jungwon insisted on duct-taping across your kitchen ceiling.

You tapped your feet against the floor, eyes flicking between the staircase and the coffee table in front of you.

“Oh—hey!”

You hadn’t expected to run into his mom.

She came out from the hallway with a small stack of neatly folded towels, pausing slightly when she saw you there. Then her face relaxed into a smile, almost like the kind you couldn’t quite read.

“Oh, you’re here early,” she said lightly, crossing into the living room. “Jong’s still upstairs?”

You nodded, forcing a smile. “Yeah. Said he’d just be a minute.”

She set the towels down on the armchair, smoothing one absent-mindedly. “How have you been? It feels like I haven’t seen you properly in ages.”

You stiffened slightly. Not out of rudeness. Just… because you never knew how to be around her anymore. Not since that night.

Still, you tried to keep your voice even. “I’ve been okay. School’s been a little hectic.”

“Mmm, I remember those days,” she said fondly. “So much pressure to figure everything out. Especially now.”

She gave you a knowing look, and you tried to return it, even though your stomach twisted.

A moment of silence passed. You glanced down at your hands.

“I really haven’t seen you around much,” she added gently, “Not even for dinner.”

You gave a small shrug. “I’ve just been… busy.”

Her gaze flicked to the corner of the room, almost like she wanted to say more. But then she smiled again, too quickly.

“I’m actually waiting for a delivery,” she said, as if to fill the quiet. “Should be arriving soon.”

“Oh?” you said, seizing the normalcy in her tone. “Something exciting?”

She waved a hand. “Just a new luggage set.”

Your eyebrows lifted slightly. “Ooh, another vacation, Mrs. Park?”

She laughed softly. “Oh, no, not for me. It’s for Jay, we’re giving it to him before he goes to Oxford.”

And just like that, the world stopped.

The words didn’t even sound dramatic. Just a casual statement, something said mid-sentence, in passing.

But your brain latched onto it like it was the only thing that mattered.

Your mouth opened slightly, but no sound came out.

Oxford…

Oxford?

Jay was going to Oxford.

Your chest constricted. “Oxford?” you repeated, and you hated how your voice sounded small and uncertain.

Mrs. Park blinked, like she was only just realizing what she said. “Oh… oh, didn’t he tell you?”

Your heart dropped.

Your ears started to ring.

“He’s been accepted for early enrolment,” she continued, her smile faltering just slightly. “We’ve been sorting everything out this week. He’ll finish his last semester online and leave by the end of next month.”

End of next month.

That was four weeks.

Four weeks.

Four weeks left with Jay, and he hadn’t said a word.

“I thought you knew,” she said gently. “I’m so sorry, I assumed—”

But you didn’t hear the rest.

You could barely hear anything past the blood rushing in your ears. Your throat tightened. The lump rising felt sharp, like glass. 

You nodded. Or at least you think you did. Some vague, stiff movement that looked enough like understanding to make her stop talking.

Upstairs, you heard Jay’s door creak open. His voice called out, cheerful and completely unaware.

“You ready?”

You stood up too fast, your legs unsteady. The smile you threw on felt like someone else’s.

Because right now, your heart was already cracking. 

And he didn’t even know yet.

–

Jay was finally driving you. In his new car.

It was sleek, glossy black, still smelling faintly of showroom leather. The dashboard glowed with lights, the music system softly playing an instrumental track you barely registered. You’d never ridden in a car with him driving before. A month ago, that would’ve made you tease him endlessly, maybe fake a scream when he made a sharp turn, joke that your life was in his hands now. He would’ve laughed, reached over to pinch your knee, and said something stupid like, "Relax, I got my license in one try."

But now, you just sat there… quiet.

Your hands stayed clamped in your lap, fingers twisting into each other until you found the skin along your thumb and picked. You pulled. Peeled the hangnail until a thin trail of red welled up against your nail bed. You rubbed it away quickly with the sleeve of your hoodie.

Jay’s eyes flicked over from the road. Then back. Then again.

“You okay?” he asked carefully, hands still gripping the wheel. “You haven’t said a word since we left.”

You nodded. You didn’t trust yourself to speak. Because how could you?

How could you turn to him and ask ‘Why didn’t you tell me?’  How could you ask ‘Was I supposed to find out from your mom? Like a stranger?’

You wanted to scream. You wanted to cry and beat your fists against the dashboard and shake the truth out of him. 

“Baby?”

His voice pulled you out of your spiral. Your head snapped up.

“Huh?”

Jay glanced over again. “Something’s clearly going on.”

“I’m fine,” you muttered, your voice too tight to be convincing.

He didn’t buy it. “Is this because I’ve been acting weird? I swear it’s all good now. I’m good.”

You shook your head and tried to laugh, but the sound came out cracked and hollow. “No, no. I just—”

Jay gave you a look. “Now I know you’re lying. You’re not about to pass that off as your real laugh.”

“I guess I’m just… worried, that’s all,” you said, brushing a loose thread off your jeans.

Jay’s brows knit. “Worried about what?”

You stared out the window, watching the blur of trees and apartment buildings pass. Your voice dropped. “The future.”

He didn’t press. 

He turned onto your street, easing the car to a slow stop right outside your house. The engine purred into silence, but the tension between you roared. Still, you didn’t move. You didn’t speak.

He waited, hoping, maybe, that you’d open up. That you’d say something. But you didn’t. You just shrugged, gave him a vague “I guess,” and unbuckled your seatbelt like the conversation had ended.

The car locks clicked open.

You were already halfway out the door.

Jay cursed softly under his breath and slammed his door shut a second later, jogging after you. You’d unlocked your front door with shaky fingers and were about to step in when he caught up.

“You’re mad,” he said from behind you.

“I’m not mad.”

“Yes, you are.” His voice was tense now. “Baby, c’mon, did… did I do something? I’m sorry. I really am.”

You stopped in the hallway. Still didn’t turn.

Your heart thudded in your chest, hard and loud. You didn’t want to look at him because you knew that if you did, you knew everything would fall apart. You’d been holding it together and he was tugging on the last thread without even knowing it.

But it was the way he apologised, when he didn’t even know what for, that did it.

You turned.

Your eyes were red. Not just teary, bloodshot, swollen, like you hadn’t slept in days. You weren’t crying yet, but your expression… it was wrecked. Like someone trying to hold back a flood that had already started leaking.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” you whispered.

Jay froze. He looked at you like you’d just split him open.

“Tell you what?” he asked softly, though the dread was already sinking into his eyes.

“That you were going.”

Jay’s lips parted, but no sound came out.

And then the pain hit again, your words echoing off the hallway walls, hanging between you like smoke.

“I…” He tried. God, he tried.

But the words didn’t come.

Because how could he explain it? How could he say, ‘I didn’t want to see this look on your face?’ How could he say, ‘I tried fighting for us but it wasn’t enough?’

You shook your head slowly. “You were going to leave without telling me.”

“No,” he said quickly. “No, it wasn’t like that.”

“Then what was it?”

Jay stepped closer, voice trembling now. “I didn’t want to lie. I just… I kept waiting for the right time. But every time I saw you, I couldn’t do it. I didn’t want to see you look at me like I was already gone.”

“But you are,” you choked out. “Aren’t you?”

His face crumpled.

“I didn’t choose this.”

“Not telling me was a choice. Your choice.”

Jay dragged a hand down his face, chest rising with shallow breaths. He looked older in that moment. 

“I tried to stay. I told my dad I didn’t want to go. I told him this—” he gestured between the two of you, eyes glassy, “you — this is what matters to me. But he didn’t care. He never does.”

Your lip trembled, but you held it. “Then you should’ve told me.”

“I know,” he whispered. “I know.”

He took another step. Close enough to touch now, but he didn’t. Not yet.

“I was scared you’d hate me.”

You looked up at him then and for the first time, he saw it all: the betrayal, the grief, the love.

“I don’t hate you,” you said, voice breaking. “I just didn’t want to be the last to know you were leaving.”

Jay’s breath hitched. His shoulders dropped.

“I’m not trying to leave you,” he said, so quietly it almost sounded like a plea. “They’re just making me go. Please.”

You didn’t answer. Your throat was too tight.

He stepped forward, slowly, gently cupping your face with both hands.

“You’re the only thing I don’t want to leave behind.”

And this time, when the tears came, you didn’t stop them.

Your face crumpled as you collapsed into his chest, your arms wrapping tightly around his middle like you were afraid he’d disappear if you let go. Jay held you immediately, his hands splaying across your back, his cheek resting against the top of your head. .

“I’m not leaving,” he said suddenly, the words tumbling out in a single breath.

You blinked up at him through wet lashes. “What?”

“I’m not leaving,” he repeated, more firmly now. “I never wanted to go. I’m not going. I’m staying.”

You pulled back slightly, brows furrowing. “Jongseong… you can’t just up and ignore your parents—”

“I’m not ignoring them,” he cut in, “I’m just finally standing up for myself. Look. I don’t even want to go. If I’m not allowed to make my own choices about my own future, then what am I? A puppet?”

“Jong…”

“God, I love them,” he said, dragging a hand through his hair, frustrated but honest. “I love my parents so much. But if they truly give a shit then they’ll just have to respect me enough to let me make my own decisions. They can’t keep deciding my life for me and call it parenting because it’s not.”

You hesitated. “Jong, you’re not doing this solely for me, are you?”

Jay sighed.

“I’ll admit that a huge part of me wants to stay because of you,” he said, not flinching. “Of course I do. But it’s not just that.”

He stepped back slightly, just enough to look you in the eye. “I don’t want to be living somewhere where I don't know anyone. I don’t want to start over. I don’t want to wake up in a city that doesn’t have you, Hee, or Won. And c’mon, there are good schools here — great ones, even. I can still make something of myself without crossing an ocean for a name, all while being here…with you.”

You searched his face, your chest tight.

“But your dad—”

“Can live with my decision,” Jay said, quiet but certain. “I’ve been pretending I could live with this, but I can’t. Not anymore.”

He took your hands, thumbs brushing over your still-shaking fingers.

“I’m happier when I’m with you,” he said, voice cracking just slightly. “When I’m here. With you guys. Near the people who make me feel like I’m already enough.”

You swallowed hard. His grip tightened.

“I’m not giving that up for a future that doesn’t even feel like mine. So please…don’t make me go.”

You breathed, like you’d been holding it in, “Okay.”

He sighed like the weight pressing on his chest had finally loosened.

And then he kissed you.

There was no hesitation, no inch of space left between you. It wasn’t delicate or careful, it was immediate, all heat.

His hands slipped from yours and rose to cradle your face, palms warm against your cheeks, thumbs brushing the corners of your mouth like he needed to feel you. His lips crashed into yours. 

Your breath hitched in your throat. You leaned into him instinctively, your hands fisting in the fabric of his hoodie, pulling him closer. He tilted his head slightly, deepening the kiss. His nose brushed against yours, his lips parting against your bottom lip, tasting the salt of your tears.

It wasn’t perfect. It was messy, and rushed, and aching. His mouth trembled just a little when he kissed you. Jay’s thumb traced along your jaw, slow and reverent, while his other hand slid behind your neck.

Your knees felt weak. Your lungs burned. But none of that mattered. Because he was kissing you.

“So… like, uh… do we come out now or…?”

You and Jay froze.

From behind the sofa, Jungwon slowly popped his head out, holding a cake with “Stop Being Sad!” scrawled messily across the top in blue icing. Heeseung followed a beat later, scratching the back of his neck.

“We could, like… pretend we aren’t here,” Heeseung muttered, glancing down at the cake as if he suddenly regretted every life choice that led him to this moment.

You and Jay instinctively pulled apart, both of you flushed and teary-eyed, your breaths still uneven. It wasn’t exactly how you wanted to be seen.

Jungwon winced at the sight of you two. “Uh. Sorry? We were gonna jump out and yell surprise, but like… then you guys were fighting then the next thing we knew you were kissing so–”

Jay dragged a hand down his face with a low groan. “Oh my god. What are you guys even doing here?”

“We were going to throw a surprise feel-better party,” Heeseung said flatly, lifting a plastic bag of takeout containers, “but if I’m being honest, I think we're the ones more surprised.”

Heeseung sighed before continuing, “We even brought your favorite food. Well… kinda. I think Jungwon ate half the fries while we were waiting.”

Jay didn’t say anything. Just let out a slow breath and sank into the sofa, his body folding inward like something was caving in. He leaned forward, elbows resting on his knees, hands clasped in front of him. His thumbs rubbed together, a nervous habit. One you’d seen since you were kids.

But Jay didn’t look at anyone.

His eyes were fixed on the floor, staring through it.

You watched him from across the room, your own shoulders still tense, fingers curled around the frayed edge of your hoodie sleeve. He hadn’t said much since the kiss. Since the apology. Since he told you he was staying. And now, sitting there in your living room, he looked smaller somehow. 

He was staying. But that decision came with consequences and Jay knew exactly who he had to face next.

The thought of confronting his father made his chest tighten. Not just in fear but in something closer to shame. Not because he regretted his choice. But because he knew what that choice would cost him. What it had always cost him.

The memory came back before he could stop it. A flicker of a younger version of himself, standing in the marble foyer of his family’s house, backpack still on, heart pounding after sneaking back in too late. His father’s voice slicing through the silence. “You skipped prep school?” His tone wasn’t surprised. It was more like disappointment. And then the yelling came and it didn’t stop. Not till three hours later.

But all Jay could remember was the way your face had looked earlier that day, eyes wide and glowing under a canopy of fairy lights at the amusement park. The way your hand had never let go of his. How you’d smiled like the whole world had finally opened up for you. And how, just for that one afternoon, he didn’t care about anything. He just wanted you to feel like someone had chosen you.

And now, he was choosing you again.

Except this time, he had no idea how to explain that to the man who had spent his whole life choosing everything for him.

The room had gone quiet, heavy with the things no one wanted to say aloud.

Jungwon, seated cross-legged on the floor by the coffee table, glanced up and studied Jay’s profile for a moment. Then, gently, he asked, “Thinking about how you wanna talk to your dad?”

Jay’s jaw tightened. He nodded once, not looking up. “Yep.” The word left his mouth flat, clipped, like he didn’t trust himself to say anything more.

He leaned in further, pressing his hands together, elbows braced against his thighs. His voice dropped to a murmur. “I don’t even know how to start. It’s like… the moment I stand in front of him, I’m twelve again.”

You moved before you could stop yourself.

Quietly, you crossed the room and eased down beside him on the sofa. The cushion dipped beneath your weight, your knee brushing his. His shoulders didn’t flinch, but they didn’t relax either. 

You slipped your hand into his.

Jay blinked. Looked down at your fingers curled around his.

And when you spoke, your voice was soft. “Do you want me to be there?”

He didn’t answer right away.

Instead, he stared at your joined hands, breathing slowly through his nose like he was trying to think. But you could see the shift. The hesitation that made your stomach turn.

When he finally spoke, his voice was quiet. “I don’t think it’s a good idea.”

Your brows pulled together. “What do you mean?”

Jay let go of your hand slowly. He rubbed his palm against his jeans and sat back slightly, like creating space might help him form the words he was scared to say.

“I just… I think it might be easier if I go alone,” he said. “He’ll be less... intense. If it’s just me.”

You frowned. “Jay.”

He didn’t look at you.

“That’s not the real reason, is it?”

Jay shut his eyes, jaw clenched. Then, reluctantly, he nodded. “No. It’s not.”

“Then what?” you asked, barely above a whisper.

He hesitated. Again. And when he finally spoke, it was carefull.

“He just… doesn’t understand,” Jay said slowly. “Why I want to stay. Why that matters more than prestige or legacy or whatever. And bringing you into that conversation might just… complicate things. He’s upset. It’ll pass.”

But you heard it.

The way he didn’t say it.

You sat back slightly, looking at him now, “Complicate things,” you repeated.

Jay nodded faintly.

You stared at him for a moment, piecing it together. And then your voice came out flat. “You mean to say... they don’t think I belong in your world.”

Jay’s head snapped up, eyes wide. “No. Those aren’t my words. I’d never—”

“But they’re his,” you said softly. Not accusatory. Just… hurt.

Jay’s voice broke as he reached for you again. “I…I don’t agree with anything they’re saying.”

But the words, even as warm and trembling and full of love as they were, couldn’t take back what you already knew. 

You blinked hard. 

“It’s funny…I really thought they liked me,” you said, more to yourself than him. “I really did. I thought I was like family.”

“You are. To me, you always have been.”

But that wasn’t the same.

You looked down at your lap, your fingers now curled in on themselves. “So all this time… they just smiled at me and still thought I wasn’t enough.”

Jay’s hands fell to his sides. His voice cracked. “It’s not about you—”

“It is, though,” you whispered. “That’s exactly what it is.”

He didn’t argue. Because he knew. And you knew he knew.

You looked down at your lap, your fingers now curled in on themselves. “So all this time… they just smiled at me and still thought I wasn’t enough.”

Jay’s hands fell uselessly to his sides. His voice cracked, almost a whisper. “It’s not about you—”

“It is, though,” you said, quieter now. “That’s exactly what it is.”

No one spoke.

Not you, not Jay and not Jungwon or Heeseung, who had been silently sitting off to the side, exchanging hesitant glances as if trying to gauge whether they should stay or disappear. The silence wasn’t awkward. It was heavy. 

Then, slowly, you stood up.

“Thanks for coming, guys,” you said, your voice strained but steady. “I just… I think I need some time alone.”

Jungwon blinked, rising immediately without protest. “Of course,” he said gently, grabbing his jacket.

“Take all the time you need,” Heeseung added, pulling Jungwon by the arm, guiding him out of the room.

And just like that, it was only you and Jay.

He hadn’t moved. But his eyes never left you, still wide, still searching, like he was waiting for some version of you to reach back out and say this wasn’t real. That you didn’t mean it.

You exhaled sharply, hugging your arms across your chest. “Jong, I need time. Alone.”

He rose to his feet, almost stumbling forward. “I can’t possibly leave you alone with all these thoughts—”

“With what thoughts?” you snapped, voice wobbling. “That your parents think I’m not good enough for you?”

Your throat tightened as tears welled up again, threatening to fall. “For the record, Jay, I’m precious to other people too.”

And that cracked something in him.

Jay’s breath caught in his chest as he watched you fall apart in front of him.

He couldn’t speak. He should’ve swallowed his fear. Should’ve protected you better. But instead, here you were, crumbling under the weight of his parents’ ignorance and all he could do was watch it happen.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, his voice hoarse.

You were already shaking your head. “Jay, they’re right,” you said, your voice cracking as tears spilled down your cheeks. “I’m crying because they’re right.”

“No,” he said quickly, stepping closer.

“They’re not—”

“Look at us!” you cut in. “From the moment we got together till now, we’ve been fighting over the same thing. Me and you. We don’t belong in the same world. And you know it.”

Jay flinched.

You took a breath but it came out in pieces. “What’s gonna happen in the future, huh? When you’re out there doing all these big world things and I’m just… I’m just stuck. Working at a stupid kids’ playground, scraping money together just so I can go out with my friends like a normal person?”

You couldn’t breathe between sentences now. It was all tumbling out, everything you’d been burying deep inside.

“No,” he muttered under his breath. Then louder, “Enough.”

You startled at the sharpness in his voice.

“That’s enough,” he said again, stepping forward in two long strides before pulling you into his chest. His arms wrapped around you so tightly. “Stop. Please,” he whispered against your hair. “Just stop.”

You didn’t fight it. You were too tired. Too worn. You just stood there, pressed against him, your hands balled.

“I love you,” Jay said suddenly, voice rough. “I fucking love you. How can you even say that? That you’re not enough?”

He pulled back just enough to look at you, his hands cradling your face now, his forehead pressed to yours.

“I don’t care about status. I don’t care what my parents built. I don’t care about any of it. The only thing I care about is you.”

His chest rose and fell too fast, like he couldn’t get enough air into his lungs.

“I spend day and night thinking only about you. I always think about you. Dreaming that someday, I’ll get to wake up next to you and not have to keep it a secret. That I can walk out into the world and tell everyone that you’re mine. That I chose you. Over everything.”

You didn’t speak, didn’t move. Your heart felt like it was breaking and being stitched back together at the same time.

“I don’t care where we live,” he said fiercely. “I don’t care if it’s some shabby motel room or a one-room apartment over a laundromat. I just care that you’re there. Right beside me. That’s all I’ve ever wanted.”

His voice softened, cracked down the middle.

“If my mom and dad can’t see that? Then fine. Whatever. Let them be blind. Because… the only thing I’ve ever really wanted, the only thing that’s ever mattered, is this.”

He gripped your face tighter, thumbs brushing your tear-streaked cheeks. “Us. Our relationship. You.”

Your chest shook with the sob you hadn’t meant to let out.

And this time, when you collapsed into him, it wasn’t from sadness.

It was from the unbearable weight of being unconditionally loved.

–

Jay’s house had always been intimidating in a quiet, understated way not because it was large or lavish (although it was), but because of the tension that wafted it in the air. A kind of coldness that never really went away, even when his mom was smiling or his dad was out of town. You felt it now more than ever as you stood in the hallway outside his father’s office, the sound of your heels clicking against the marble floor echoing louder than you wanted it to.

You were in a pretty little dress, nothing flashy, just enough to look presentable. Your hair was done in a half ponytail, neat and soft, something you’d fixed just before you came even though you knew it wouldn’t change anything. Jay had decided to bring you with him. After everything, the two of you had spent the night talking, curled up together on your couch, deciding that no matter what happened in that room, you would walk out together.

Even if that meant Jay leaving with three suitcases and no home to return to.

When the heavy double doors to the office opened, thunder cracked outside, almost like the sky itself was warning you. Jay flinched. So did you. But still, he stepped in first, fingers tightly curled around yours, and you followed behind him into the room.

His father sat behind his massive mahogany desk, posture straight, glasses perched low on his nose, the blue light from his laptop casting sharp shadows across his face. He looked like any other wealthy middle-aged man, if you were being honest, if you didn’t know better, you’d never guess how much power his voice held over Jay. How that man could reduce him to something so small with a few words.

“Close the door,” his father said without looking up.

Jay obeyed wordlessly. The soft click of the door shutting made your heart pound louder in your ears.

The silence was unbearable. The only sounds in the room were the quiet clack of his father’s typing, the occasional pop from the crackling fire in the fireplace, and the rush of blood in your ears. You could feel Jay’s hand trembling in yours as he led you closer toward the desk.

His mother sat just to the side in one of the leather armchairs, perfectly composed. She looked at your joined hands, then up at you both. Her expression was unreadable, but when she exhaled, you caught the faintest trace of defeat in it. 

Jay stopped just a step short of the desk. You could feel the tension in his body, the rigid line of his shoulders, the way he shifted his weight slightly from one foot to the other like he was grounding himself.

He cleared his throat.

“I’m not going.”

The typing stopped.

The silence that followed was louder than anything else that had come before it. His father slowly closed the laptop, fingers steepled over it as he raised his head. And then, he smiled.

Not a kind smile. Not even a confused one.

It was the kind of smile you gave when you thought someone was playing a prank on you. Condescending. Amused, but in that way that made you feel small.

“Not going?” he repeated, voice low but laced with ice. He leaned back in his chair. “And who exactly made that decision?”

Jay’s grip on your hand tightened.

“I did,” he said, voice steady but strained. “Because it’s my life.”

There was a moment where the room stood still.

Then came the slam.

THWACK.

His father’s palm hit the desk with a force that made you flinch and Jay instinctively step a little in front of you.

His dad’s face darkened, his voice rising now. “You did?” he echoed. “You decided to throw away Oxford. Throw away everything we’ve worked for. Everything I’ve sacrificed for this family. For what? Her?”

Jay didn’t respond.

His father’s eyes flicked to you, cold and sharp. You tried not to shrink under it, but it was hard, your chest felt like it was caving in on itself. He continued, now addressing his son with pointed disgust. “I always knew you were impulsive, but I didn’t think you were stupid. Do you understand what you’re giving up?”

Jay stayed still. Then slowly, he nodded.

“I do,” he said softly. “And I’m still not going.”

His dad scoffed, jaw tightening. “This isn’t just about you. This is about our name. Our reputation. Do you think you can waltz out of this house and pretend like your choices don’t affect the rest of us? Do you think—”

Jay stepped forward then. 

“I’m not pretending. I know they affect you. But this—” he motioned between you and him, “this affects me too. And for once, I’m choosing the life I want to live.”

You could feel your lungs struggle for air.

Jay’s mom shifted in her seat, something soft flickering across her face. Her eyes moved back to the two of you, and this time, it lingered. 

His dad rose to his feet.

“Then you can pack your things,” he said coldly. “And leave.”

Jay didn’t say a word. He just grabbed your hand and pulled you out of the office like the walls themselves were going to swallow him whole if he didn’t move fast enough. The last glimpse you caught before the door shut was his father, still standing, his expression unreadable save for the sharp stare he gave you and his mother, her eyes lingering on you.

Then you were in his room. The room you’d spent so many years in. The room where you studied on the floor for hours, where you once fell asleep watching movies with your legs tangled together. But now, it felt different. Felt almost unfamiliar despite the million times you’ve been in there.

Jay was moving fast, throwing open his wardrobe doors, yanking shirts and jackets off hangers, pulling drawers open and emptying clothes into an open suitcase. It was all happening so fast you could barely process it. You stood there, frozen by the door, the click of the doorknob behind you still echoing in your ears.

You couldn’t move. You couldn’t speak. Your limbs were locked in place like your body had gone into shock. Guilt rose steadily in your chest, thick and choking.

“Baby…” your voice was quiet, barely more than a whisper. “I don’t think… shouldn’t we talk? Shouldn’t there be more to it than just this?”

Jay didn’t stop packing. He only glanced at you briefly, his eyes hard, lips set. “Talk about what?” he said sharply. “They’re never going to listen.”

You walked over to him slowly, your hand reaching for his arm, grounding yourself. “I just… I don’t want to be the reason you stop talking to your family. This is heavy, Jay. This burden—it’s heavy as hell.” Your voice cracked near the end, and you hated it. Hated how weak you sounded. Hated how helpless this all felt.

Jay finally paused, his shoulders still heaving with frustration. He turned to you, placed both hands gently on your shoulders, thumbs brushing your skin as if that alone could reassure you. His voice dropped, low and tender, full of a kind of pain that was older than this moment.

“Baby, this isn’t about them right now. It’s about me. About trying to live my own life. I’m so tired of living a version of me that only exists to please them. I’ve been the perfect son for years, and now…” His hands tightened, eyes boring into yours. “Now I’m just trying to take my life back.”

You looked up at him for a long second, your breath caught in your chest, and then you slowly nodded. Wordlessly, you stepped beside him and knelt, beginning to fold the wrinkled clothes he had shoved into his suitcase. You couldn’t fix anything, not really, but you could help him pack.

He watched you for a moment. The way your eyes were lowered, expression unreadable. Guilt settled heavy in his stomach. He knew you were hurting not because of something you did, but simply because of who you were. And how his family had decided that was somehow… not enough.

Then he felt it.

Eyes on him.

Jay turned toward the door.

His mother stood there, a hand still clutched lightly against the frame, her face soft and wet with tears. Her gaze flickered from him to you, back again. “Jong…” she said, her voice cracking. “Don’t go.”

His heart squeezed. God, he’d always had a soft spot for her. For the way she brushed the hair from his eyes when he was sick, for the quiet way she defended him during family dinners. She loved him and he knew that. But when it came to standing up to his father, she never stood a chance.

“Mom…” he said, his voice breaking.

“Jong, please,” she whispered again.

He looked down. Then at you. You stood slowly now, standing behind him, your hands twisted tightly together, fingers fidgeting in a desperate attempt to stay grounded.

Jay swallowed hard. “I’m not going,” he said, barely more than a breath. “And if it’s too much for you or Dad to handle, then I’ll leave.”

His mother stepped into the room, shaking her head, eyes red. “I tried talking to your father—”

“He’s not going to change his mind, Mom.”

“He can. We can try.”

Jay let out a bitter laugh, short and sharp. “I’ve been trying. For years. And nothing’s ever budged.”

She stepped closer, voice pleading now. “What if you went? Just for now? You could visit every few months—”

“Because I don’t want to!” Jay’s voice rose, his frustration boiling over, his fists clenched at his sides. “The love of my life is here. I want to be here. My friends are here. You’re here. I don’t want to go somewhere where I don’t know anyone, where I have to pretend like I’m someone I’m not.”

He was crying now. A mess of breathless anger and heartbreak. He looked at his mom, desperate for her to see him. To see you.

“You used to tell me stories, remember?” he said, voice trembling. “How Dad courted you for three years. How you didn’t even like him at first, but he waited. You told me about your love story growing up. And now what? I don’t get to have one?”

His voice broke completely.

“I’m in love with her, Mom,” he whispered, his hand reaching behind to find yours again. “And I can’t let you or Dad take her away from me.”

The door slammed open with a violent crack, bouncing off the wall behind it. You jumped, your breath caught in your throat as Jay instinctively turned, stepping back to shield you behind him.

His father stood in the doorway, tall and unmoving. His expression was unreadable.

Jay stiffened in front of you, his fingers twitching slightly at his sides as he positioned himself like a barrier. He didn’t say anything. Neither did you. It was like the two of you were back in school, caught sneaking out past curfew, facing down a teacher.

“You’re comparing whatever you have with her to the story of your mother and me,” his father said, his voice calm but sharp, every syllable slicing through the room like glass. “So tell me, Jongseong. What makes you so sure she’s the one?”

Jay blinked. “What?”

The question caught him off guard. Of all the things his father could’ve said… that wasn’t it.

His father took a slow step forward, hands still tucked neatly into his pockets. “You’re willing to give up your education. Your future. Everything your mother and I worked for. You’re willing to throw it all away for her.” He didn’t look at you when he said it, only at Jay. “So explain to me. What makes you think the two of you are so special? What makes you believe this is real? That it’s not just some immature, irresponsible decision for a—” his voice dipped, “—a passing fling.”

You felt the breath leave your lungs.

Jay’s shoulders tightened in front of you, his jaw clenching so tightly you could see the muscles twitch. He didn’t move at first. Just stood there. 

You swallowed hard, your eyes locked on the back of Jay’s hoodie, your fingers trembling at your sides.

Jay turned slowly, just enough to glance back at you. His eyes met yours for the briefest second.

He looked back at his father, drawing a breath.

“I know,” Jay said, voice steady, though it cracked faintly at the edges. “I know because I’ve never felt like this about anyone before. I’ve never fought this hard for anything before. And it’s not a fling. It’s her. It’s always been her.”

His father raised an eyebrow, unimpressed. “And that’s supposed to be enough? A feeling?”

“No,” Jay replied, firmer now. “It’s not just a feeling. It’s the fact that I see my entire life with her. Not just today. Not just tomorrow. All of it. I don’t care if we’re rich or broke or living in a shoebox apartment. I want her there with me. I want to wake up next to her, argue with her over dumb things, bring her coffee when she’s tired, learn how to braid our daughter’s hair if we ever have one…that’s how sure I am.”

You blinked, your heart thudding so hard it hurt.

Jay stepped forward, his voice rising slightly. “You want to know what makes this real? It’s that when I think about what makes me feel safe, what makes me feel like I have a home, it’s her. Not a country, not a job, not a title. It’s her.”

He turned and reached for your hand again, threading your fingers through his, holding you tightly like he was afraid the world might tear you away at any moment.

“And if you can’t see that,” Jay said, looking directly into his father’s eyes now, “then maybe it’s not me who’s being reckless. Maybe it’s you for thinking love has to come with a some sort of societal hierarchy.”

The room fell silent again.

Jay’s father didn’t move. His face didn’t change.

“Then so be it,” he said.

Jay stiffened, not expecting him to fold, at least not like this.

“I expect three schools you’re planning to apply to. On my desk. Monday morning.” His gaze flicked between the two of you, briefly, unreadable. “Top three in the country. Or you’re going to Oxford. That’s the deal.”

And just like that, he turned and left.

The sound of his shoes against the hardwood echoed down the hall. The door clicked shut behind him.

You turned slowly to Jay, still gripping his hand, still trying to find your footing.

His eyes were locked on the door his father had disappeared behind. He didn’t say anything. He didn’t move.

You gently brushed your thumb against the back of his hand. “Jong?”

He blinked, once. Then again. And finally turned to look at you.

“He didn’t say no,” he murmured, voice hoarse. “He didn’t… shut the door.”

“No,” you said softly, stepping closer. “He didn’t.”

Jay nodded slowly, but the tension didn’t leave his shoulders. Not completely.

Because this wasn’t a win.

But it wasn’t a loss either.

–

Things at home were still tense. No one had said much since the confrontation. His dad mostly kept to himself. His mom cooked in silence. Meals were eaten quickly and apart. It felt like everyone was walking on glass, afraid one wrong step would crack it all open again.

You were at Jay’s place, waiting for your mom to finish work so she could swing by and pick you up. The rain had just stopped outside, leaving the windows streaked with droplets, a quiet stillness hanging in the air like the whole world was holding its breath.

You were both sitting cross-legged on his bed, half under the covers, half sprawled out with glossy brochures scattered between the pillows and across the floor. Jay was holding one upside down, dramatically squinting at it.

“Do you think they give scholarships for people who have a traumatic past?” you asked, grinning.

He scoffed. “Please. I deserve a full ride just for surviving my father.”

You laughed, nudging his arm. He retaliated by leaning in, pressing a teasing kiss to your temple, then one to your nose, and then your lips, just a light brush, slow and sweet.

“You’re distracting me,” you mumbled against his mouth.

“Mm,” he hummed, grinning. “Good.”

You rolled your eyes, about to swat his shoulder again when the door creaked open.

Both of you froze.

Jay’s mom stood at the doorway, a brochure in her hand, her expression unreadable. She cleared her throat gently. “How about this one?” she asked, her voice even.

You blinked. Jay sat up straighter. “Huh?”

She walked in and handed the brochure over, and as you took it, your fingers grazed hers. It was another local university, one that hadn’t been on either of your lists but was known and reputable. A place his father wouldn’t hate.

And then you understood.

She was helping. In her own way.

Your lips parted slightly.

Jay’s mom sat down beside you on the bed, smoothing her skirt down as she exhaled.

“I’m sorry,” she said, eyes flickering to yours. “For everything you’ve gone through these past few months. I wish you told me the truth. I wish you told me you and Jongseong were together. I would’ve fought harder for the both of you.”

Your throat tightened. You swallowed hard.

“But then again,” she continued, her voice lowering, “I was wrong. You heard what I said that day… about you not being in our world. And I was wrong for thinking that.”

She turned toward you more fully, her tone warm but earnest. “What Jong said was right. At the end of the day, we’re all just people. Status, names, connections… they shouldn’t matter. And I’m sorry I ever made you feel like they did.”

You nodded slowly, blinking through the sting in your eyes. You weren’t sure what to say, maybe because there was too much to say. 

–

The sun was merciless, high above the stadium, baking the crowd in waves of heat and happiness. You were squinting into your mom’s phone camera, standing shoulder to shoulder with Jay, both of you dressed in identical deep navy cap and gowns.

Your mortarboard was already slightly crooked. Jay’s tassel kept swaying into his mouth.

“Mom,” you groaned, “that’s like the hundredth picture you’ve taken just today.”

Your mother didn’t even look up from her camera. “And?”

Mrs. Park, standing right beside her, chuckled warmly, nudging your mom like they were old best friends now which, frankly, they kind of always had been. “The two of you look so cute in your cap and gown,” she cooed. “We have to document this. For memory sake, c’mon!”

Jay groaned under his breath but smiled anyway. You rolled your eyes dramatically.

“A little kiss for the camera?” your mom added with a wink.

“Gross, Mom,” you muttered, already turning your head away.

Too late.

Jay took your chin gently and turned your face back toward him, leaning in to press a quick kiss to your cheek. “I won’t say no to a free kiss,” he murmured, smug.

You shoved his chest lightly, but the laughter broke through before you could even pretend to be mad. “Ugh. You’re lucky you’re cute.”

Behind you, a familiar voice cut through. “Okay, lovebirds, let’s not forget who the actual valedictorian is.”

You turned just in time to see Jungwon walking up, cap perfectly straight, robe pressed to perfection, not a single wrinkle in sight. 

And then, Heeseung who was trailing behind him, in a gown that looked like it had been stuffed into a bag.

The sleeves were slightly too short, the zipper was half-stuck, and it hung off one shoulder.

“I can’t believe my parents didn’t spring for a second gown,” Heeseung said, exasperated, lifting a loose sleeve. “I’m stuck wearing my brother’s ratty one from two years ago. I found a mint in the pocket. Unwrapped, by the way. I swear to God, he’s the filthiest creature on Earth.”

Jungwon didn’t even pause. “You look stupid.”

Heeseung blinked back at Jungwon, completely deadpan. “Thank you, Jungwon. As always, a pillar of encouragement.”

Jay snorted into his sleeve. You were already wheezing, clutching your side as the two of them launched into another round of sarcastic bickering that made you question how either of them made it to graduation.

“Oh…hold on,” Heeseung suddenly perked up, biting his lip and raising a brow. “Some girls from the junior classes just showed up to congratulate me.”

You rolled your eyes. Jay muttered, “Here we go…”

“If you’ll excuse me,” Heeseung said, already straightening his sad excuse of a gown, “Won, you’re coming with.”

Jungwon blinked. “And why the hell would I do that?”

“I need a wingman. Jay’s taken, and I need someone to distract the extras while I move in on the main event.”

“Stop talking,” Jungwon said immediately.

“C’mon, please?”

“Just stop talking and I’ll go.”

“Sweet. Let’s go,” Heeseung grinned, already dragging him away.

You and Jay watched them go.

“Are we… sure he graduated?” you asked.

“Honestly?” Jay shrugged. “A miracle.”

But then, a throat cleared.

You turned, laughter freezing in your throat.

Jay’s father stood a few feet away in a crisp suit, arms crossed, sunglasses pushed up on his head. He didn’t say a word right away. Just looked at the two of you, at Jay in his cap and gown, hand intertwined with yours.

Jay’s hand stiffened slightly in yours. You looked at him and caught the faintest flicker of something unreadable in his eyes.

To be fair, since the Monday Jay had placed the list of his top university applications on his father’s desk and then got into those schools, no less, there hadn’t been much conversation. Just the occasional grunt, nod, or one-word answer. It wasn’t new. Jay never expected his father to be warm. He could live without it. Had done so for most of his life.

But right now, Jay held his breath.

His father stepped forward, slow but sure, gaze unreadable. You tightened your grip on Jay’s hand without realizing it.

He stopped in front of Jay. His eyes scanned him once then paused on the crumpled gown, the slightly crooked cap, and then your intertwined hands.

“Well,” he said, voice low. “You wore the cap properly.”

Jay blinked, unsure if that was a jab or a compliment. He opened his mouth, then closed it again.

And then, Jay’s father reached out.

To you.

He adjusted the tassel on your cap, gently sweeping it from the left to the right side.

“You’ve graduated too,” he said, not looking at you directly, but something in his tone softer than before. “Should wear it properly.”

You didn’t move. 

Then his father stepped back. He looked at Jay for a long beat, something tight in his jaw, but his voice steadier this time.

“You did good,” he said. “Better than expected.”

That was it.

Jay’s lips twitched, the faintest ghost of a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. Because those few short words, that deadpan delivery, that subtle nod was his father’s way. And Jay knew, as frustrating and emotionally constipated as it was, that was as close as he’d ever get to hearing “I’m proud of you” out loud.

Before either of you could say anything, Mr. Park had already turned away, his footsteps slow and composed as he made his way through the crowd. He nodded at your mother and Mrs. Park in passing, the gesture polite. 

Then, weaving through the field, he crossed paths with Heeseung who, at that moment, was mid–peace sign, tongue out, and clearly trying to impress a group of younger girls.

Mr. Park came to a halt. Looked him up. Then down.

“Fix your collar, boy,” he said in the most unimpressed tone known to man, “You look stupid.”

Heeseung blinked. He turned to Jungwon, stunned. You and Jay were already doubled over trying not to laugh.

A minute later, Heeseung made his way back to the two of you.

“Guys,” he said, eyes wide, “who was that and why was he mean?”

Jay rubbed the back of his neck. “Uh, that’s… my dad.”

“Oh,” Heeseung said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. “Well, he seems lovely.”

“I lowkey agree with him, though,” Jungwon added, eyeing Heeseung’s wrinkled sleeves.

“That’s because you’re an asshole,” Heeseung snapped.

You turned toward Jay, stifling your laugh behind your hand as Heeseung and Jungwon continued to bicker beside you.

Jay slipped his hand into yours giving it a gentle squeeze. His thumb brushed over your knuckles absentmindedly, and when you glanced up, his gaze was already on you.

“Hard to believe we made it here,” he murmured.

You smiled, stepping closer until your forehead touched his. “Well… I kinda had a feeling we’d make it.”

“Weren’t you the same person who cried for two hours because you thought I was leaving?”

You rolled your eyes. “Oh, shut up.”

“Still… I would’ve chosen you,” he said quietly, just for you. “Even if it meant packing up and leaving with nothing but you.”

You leaned in, kissed him gently, then pulled back just enough to speak. “Lucky for you,” you said, your smile matching his, “I came with everything we need.”

“Okay, kids! Group photo!” Mrs. Park called out, already motioning for you, Jay, Heeseung, and Jungwon to squeeze together.

You groaned playfully, but there was no use resisting. Jay laced his fingers with yours and tugged you forward, Heeseung fixed his borrowed gown while Jungwon rolled his eyes and tried to smooth his already-perfect one.

“Closer!” your mom called, squinting at the screen. “Act like you like each other!”

Heeseung threw an arm over Jay’s shoulder. “That’s a big ask.”

“Oh, as if you’re any better.” Jungwon scoffed, flicking Heeseung’s forehead.

“Smile!” Mrs. Park added, then laughed. “Okay, last one and then we’ll go for dinner!”

The four of you leaned in, grinning wide for the camera. Jay’s hand slid to your waist and pulled you in, close and quick, pressing a kiss to your cheek just as the shutter clicked.

You squeaked in surprise, eyes wide, but the warmth on your face gave you away instantly.

“Now that’s burned into our graduation photo. Great,” Jungwon groaned.

“Unless… you want all of us to kiss you too?” Heeseung suggested, wiggling his brows.

Jungwon blinked. “No. I don’t really… I don’t want that.”

“Oh, come on,” you teased, already leaning in.

“Let’s do it,” Jay said, grinning.

Before Jungwon could escape, the three of you planted a kiss on his cheeks all at once.

"There you are! I've been looking everywhere!"

You looked up to see Sunghoon stopping before you. His expression faltered at the sight of your red, swollen and watery eyes along with your loud sniffling sounds and how you're biting on your bottom lip to stifle your cries. He sighed, stepping closer to sit on your right on the bench you're seated on. The boy wasted no time in pulling you close to him, allowing you to bury your head in his chest.

He lets you cried and sobbed like a newborn baby, not caring how you're soaking and staining his shirt with your fresh, salty tears. Sunghoon remained silent the entire time, patting your back with one hand while whispering comforting words into your ear. It took you about thirty minutes or so to calm down. When you did, you awkwardly pulled back and he withdrew his hand, resting it on his lap with his eyes scanning your face, searching for any sign of discomfort or lingering sadness.

"What happened?" He asked.

You stubbornly shook your head, keeping your lips sealed shut. Sunghoon sighed, reaching out to rest his hand on your left shoulder to give it an reassuring squeeze. An action that spoke volume.

"Come on, you know you can tell me anything," he gently coaxed you.

You sniffled, raising your hands but the boy was faster. He placed his right hand over yours, gingerly wiping the tears threatening to slip from your eyes. The way he does it was so gentle, loving and caring, like he's afraid of harming you. It's not what friends will do but that's a topic for another time. Perhaps when both of you are fully-grown adults then the elephant in the room will be addressed.

"..Do you think I'm ugly?" You managed to croak out, not having the courage to look him in the eyes.

Silence.

At the stretched silence, you raised your head, ready to change the topic, only for you to pause. You made eye contact with Sunghoon but what caught your attention was the way he looked at you. There was a mixture of emotions—disbelief, pain and anger. Disbelief that you dared to utter those words out, right in front of him. Pain and anger because you chose to believe in someone's words.

Someone that's not him, who will do anything to turn that frown upside down.

"No, gods no," he quickly replied, now cupping your face in his hands.

His thumbs rested on the skin underneath your eyes. It took all of his self-restraint to not do something stupid that could potentially ruined your friendship. After all, Park Sunghoon is nothing but a hopeless fool who is head over heels for you. For a girl who had seen the worst and best of him. For a girl who had became a staple, permanent presence in his life.

He cleared his throat before speaking, features softening—a habit he does whenever he's with you without him knowing.

"I don't know who's been telling you these lies, but they are wrong. They don't know how kind you are to the people around you. They don't know how you're selfless, always putting other people first rather than your own needs. They don't know how strong, sweet and loving you are."

Your eyes widened, lips parting slightly as he starts to ramble, letting out the pent-up feelings that were locked deep in his chest, imprinted in the back of his mind for a long, long time. You stared at him, rendered speechless.

"Sunghoon, I…"

Your voice trailed off, ears and cheeks turning a light shade of red.

"I don't know what to say but thank you," you finished, flashing him a smile, a smile he returned without hesitation.

"Of course, angel. That's what friends are for."

You hummed. "We'll be friends forever, right?"

Sunghoon paused briefly, something unreadable flickered across his face but you didn't see it, too caught up in your own thoughts and the current moment. It was gone when he blinked and he smiled, pretending nothing happened while ignoring the lingering guilt residing in his stomach.

"Yeah, we'll be friends forever. You're my ride and die."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

◟‿୨୧‿◞

"Hello? Earth to (Name)? Anyone home?"

"Ow!"

You yelped when someone whacked your head, snapping you back to reality. You scowled when it's none other than your friend who's also your co-worker at the same time—Choi Beomgyu. He held a rolled-up document in his right hand, looking down at you with his signature, infuriating smug grin that stretches across his face. Your left eyelid twitched, resisting the urge to leap across the table and strangle him to death.

"Jeez, stop glaring at me like that, lover girl. Just because you're working under Sung—"

Beomgyu didn't get to finish his sentence, not when someone purposely and roughly bumped his shoulder against him. You snorted at how he let out a startled yelp, body tilting to the left with his limbs flailing about, like a wild, frantic chicken. Thankfully, he didn't fall and managed to regain his balance, spinning on the spot to throw a traitorous glare to the third person, who slipped in soundlessly.

"Hey! What was that for!? You could've hurt this gorgeous face of mine!" He exclaimed, pointing at his own face and you groaned, making a fake gagging noise in the background and Beomgyu flipped you off without looking at you.

Lee Heeseung—another close friend of yours, merely rolled his eyes and flashed the older man a flat, unimpressed look. "Shut up and get back to work, Gyu. Unless you want to work overtime again."

Both of you snickered in unison at the offended look Beomgyu threw at him, but he knew Heeseung was right. Which was why he turned, muttering a string of curses under his breath as he returned to his desk. Heeseung rolled his eyes before turning to you, with his signature smile now plastered on his face, the kind of smile used to impress his colleagues around him. Also the kind of smile used on simple-minded, hopeless women.

Not you though. Not when a certain someone had captured your heart a long time ago.

"Here's the documents you needed for your case," he said, raising his left hand over the wall of your cubicle, revealing a stack of papers, earning a groan from you.

"Ugh, shooting me with a gun would've hurt less," you complained, accepting them nonetheless as you placed it at the corner of your messy desk.

Heeseung clicked his tongue, shifting to rest both of his arms on the edge of the cubicle, looking down at you from where he stood. Amusement flickered across his doe-like eyes at your reaction. It's obvious he's having the time of his life watching you suffer, much to your annoyance. You would have said or do something, like to flip him off but you felt it before he even entered.

The temperature in the room dropped a notch. Even though the air conditioner was set at a tolerable twenty-four degrees, it felt like it was lowered to nineteen. The previous rounds of hushed murmurs and chatter vanished the moment he stepped into everyone's visions. To say he's a sight to behold would be the biggest understatement of the century.

Park Sunghoon walked in with measured steps, each one unhurried and controlled. His presence alone demanded for space and the room willingly gave it to him. It was either utter obedience or receiving his signature, cold and piercing gaze. A gaze that can sent even the most fearless man running with his invisible tail between his legs.

He's dressed in a perfectly tailored charcoal suit that fitted him well to the core, like it was made for no one else but just him alone. The sharp lines of his midnight blue blazer further accentuated his broad, firm and his oh so reliable shoulders. Shoulders that had been carrying the firm ever since his first day. The crisp white shirt beneath deeply contrasted against the dark tones. Not a single crease or a strand of hair seen or misplaced.

Everything was purely calculated and all according to plan.

His expression remained neutral. Either he was unaware or chose to ignore the effect he has on people. How conversations died mid-sentence. How the sound of fingers flying across keyboards came to an abrupt halt and how even the faint rustling of papers seemed to disappear into thin air. Everyone's eyes were immediately on him, whether they knew it or not.

Seeing him—your childhood friend, the very same boy who never failed to make you feel at ease, to bring a smile on your face, to make you laughed until you were shedding tears, now replaced with someone who you barely knew anymore, did something to you. You felt like you were stabbed in the chest.

He felt familiar and unfamiliar at the same time and you didn't like that at all.

Sunghoon didn't stop walking, not sparing anyone his attention—not that any of them were worthy of his attention in the first place. Heeseung had long scrambled back to his own desk, like the true traitor he is as he left you alone to fend for yourself—

Until he stopped right in front of your desk.

It took all of you to not visibly flinched, to not show any ounce of reaction. Up close, he felt even colder and more unreachable, a feat you didn't think was possible in the first place. For a brief moment, he said nothing. His gaze settled on you, steady and unreadable, like he had became an expert in hiding his feelings.

"See me in my office."

His voice was low, even and authoritative. It's clear he didn't tell you to wait for your reaction. It's clear it wasn't a request. But rather, a demand. A command that you should obeyed, unless you're asking to get fired on the spot. Before you could processed it, he had turned away and walked off, like summoning you was nothing more than another mere, simple task on his to-do list.

It was only when his figure was out of sight was when everyone loosened up, heaving a sigh of relief in unison. Heeseung wasted no time in sliding his chair over to you. His cubicle was only situated on your right, allowing him to move over without any difficulties.

"Oh, you're definitely fucked," he muttered, clearly entertained with him absentmindedly spinning a pen with his left index and middle fingers.

You shot him a look. "Not helping."

"I wasn't trying to help though."

"Fuck you."

"No thank you. Bet you'd love to fuck Sung—"

"Heeseung!"

◟‿୨୧‿◞

After mentally preparing yourself for five minutes along with Heeseung being the helpful friend he is, by laughing at your predicament, you grabbed your trusty notebook that had been stained with tears and caffeine it's a miracle you were still able to use and your pen before leaving. You chose to ignore the "Good luck and don't die!" words Beomgyu shouted at your retreating figure.

Sunghoon's office was located on the other end of the thirty-fifth floor. Yes, the law firm you worked in has multiple floors with a total of seventy-five floors. You remembered you were stunned on your first day, openly gaping at everything around you as you entered, nearly making a fool of yourself by tripping over your feet more than three times in a single day.

You barely recalled nodding your head in acknowledgment at the series of greetings thrown your way from both men and women as they walked past you. You were too caught up in your own mind, many thoughts running through your mind at the speed of light until you sworn you were starting to feel light-headed.

Eventually, you arrived at a particular closed, opaque glass door with matte covering the bottom half and a sign hanging on it. The words stared back at you, like it was mocking you already, as if it knew the reason why you were summoned.

Park Sunghoon's Office.

"It'd be better if it's renamed as Satan's Hellhole instead," you muttered to yourself, wary enough to keep your voice down. You raised your right hand, now curled into a fist and knocked twice on it to announce your arrival.

Knock knock.

Sunghoon's eyes flicked up from his desktop screen, hands going stilled as he was in the middle of typing. One look at you made him nod his head and you entered once you were granted permission, gently closing the door behind him. It's pure instinct for you to clutch your notebook close to your chest in a vice-like grip until the edges crumped up due to your strength, like you want to blend into it, using it as a shield for whatever he had in store for you.

You chewed on your bottom lip, absentmindedly brushing your fingers against the edge of your notebook, unaware of how the man's eyes darkened a shade behind the rimless lenses of his rectangular-shaped glasses that rested perfectly on the bridge of his sharp, elegant nose. Gods, you never expected to see your childhood friend went from a easygoing, scrawny young teenager to… whatever he is now.

That's a man right there, your brain unhelpfully chimed in before adding another sentence, a very fine man, to be exact.

To make yourself feel better, you visualized yourself beating the living lights out of your superior. The very same superior who is seated in front of you, known for being the most cold-hearted, unforgivable and someone who doesn't have any tolerance for anything. When one says anything, they really meant it.

An prime example would be when a poor young woman used to be in your position, only to be fired on her first day when she failed to follow-up with one of Sunghoon's clients. You didn't know much of the details, other than the very obvious fact that he was pissed. One thing about him is that he never raised his voice, which proved to make him all the more intimidating than he already was. He would have lost the trial if he didn't come up with something on the spot but despite his success, he was still enraged and ended up firing the woman.

Nothing more and nothing less.

Ahem.

You snapped back to reality, dryly and loudly swallowing when you noticed Sunghoon had been staring at you the entire time while you were busy imagining punching him, treating him like a punching bag and an outlet to release your pent-up stress and frustrations.

"Are you done daydreaming? If you are, then sit down," he said, voice firm and cold.

Your left eyebrow twitched, resisting the urge to snap, to yell or even better, to throw something at his face as you obliged, sitting on the opposite chair and placed your notebook and hands on your lap, hiding it from his sharp, observant and piercing gaze that never fails to send shivers down your spine.

"Why did you summon me?" You asked, surprisingly able to keep your voice even and steady despite how your fingers were already trembling.

Sunghoon arched his signature thick left eyebrow, like he was impressed by your audacity or stupidity. Or maybe it was both. Whatever it was, it seemed like you had made a wrong approach, with the way he leaned back into his seat, his eyes never leaving your face, catching every micro-expression you made.

"Simple. Because you screwed up."

You flinched—a subtle motion that should go unnoticed by everyone. But not Sunghoon, not when it comes to you. You swallowed, clenching and unclenching your fingers, feeling your palms growing sweaty as every second passed. You didn't say anything and the man pressed on, using his words to push his knife deeper into your chest.

"Judging from the look on your face, you're clueless, aren't you? Fine, let me indulge you."

He paused, reaching for a file situated on the left corner of his desk. He flipped it opened with practiced ease before sliding it towards you. You leaned forward a little to get a clearer look, immediately finding the paragraphs familiar to you.

"Page twelve," he said.

Your hands moved before you knew it, your fingers brushing against the folder as you pulled it closer to you. You scanned the page, eyes darting over lines of text until they stopped. Your stomach dropped, feeling a pail of cold, freezing water being dumped over you from above.

"The clause is outdated. It contradicts the revised terms submitted last week. Terms you copied, if I recall correctly," he went on, observing you closely, like you're his prey that was hopelessly cornered with nowhere to run.

Your lips parted but you couldn't find your voice.

"I—" You startled, faltering for a split second before you forced yourself to speak. "I must've overlooked—"

"You must've?" He echoed, voice and eyes hardening and yet, that same infuriating calmness of his never left his face. "You must've overlooked a critical amendment in a case file I asked you to review?"

You tightened your grip on the paper, teeth grinding down on one another.

"It was a minor section," you protested, despite how you knew he was right. He always was. "The overall argument still stands and make sense. It's not enough to—"

"Not enough?" He cuts you off for the second time, voice cold and firm, just enough to make you and your words feel insignificant. "Are you even hearing yourself?"

Silence.

Sunghoon leaned forward, resting his elbows on the desk, his gaze locked onto yours with terrifying, chilling precision.

"In this firm, there's no such thing as minor. All it takes to dismantle an entire case is one oversight. One mistake is enough to question credibility. Or, do you think you're an exception?"

You narrowed your eyes, borderline scrunching the piece of paper in your hands. Sunghoon's eyes flicked down to the paper before meeting you again, his expression unreadable as always.

"I don't. But it's not like I intentionally—"

"That doesn't matter," he interrupted.

As the saying goes, three times the charm. That was the third time he had cut you off and that too, was the final straw.

"I'm still new. Mistakes happen. It's not unreasonable to expect—"

"What? To be excused?" He smoothly finished for you.

You paused, unable to further defend yourself. Because that wasn't what you meant but in the end, it was exactly how it sounds like. Whether you liked it or not. Sunghoon lets his words lingered in the air, giving you both the chance and room to speak, to say something better, to fix the damage.

But you didn't. Or maybe, you simply couldn't.

"…No, but I can fix it," you finally said, in a quieter voice but there was still a hint of defiance.

Something flickered in his expression but it was gone when he blinked. Sunghoon eyed you before leaning back into his chair, removing his elbows from the desk in the process.

"You will. You'll revise the entire section, cross-check every document and have it back on my desk before the end of the day."

Your eyes widened. "That's—"

"(Name)."

The way he said your name, like it's a threat, a warning along with the utter firmness in his voice was enough to silence you. You clamped your lips shut, knowing there was no way for you to make him change his mind. You nodded, shoulders slumping and Sunghoon nodded, raising his hand to push his glasses up his nose.

"Good, you're dismissed. If I don't see it on my desk, you're fired," he finished, no longer giving you his attention as he returned to looking at his desktop.

You gritted your teeth, shooting up from your seat as you stomped out of his office. Manners and respect be dammed at this point. You needed to get out of there or you would've lost your temper, which could potentially cost you your job and the amount of blood, sweat and tears you've used to get to where you are today.

Baam!

You slammed his door shut with a loud, heavy force on the way out, not caring that it came off as rude or how you were gathering stares following you as you returned to your desk. You threw your notebook, pen and the folder onto the desk, not caring that the pen rolled off, falling onto the floor with a series of clattering sounds.

"Fuck," you cursed at the all-too familiar feeling of something warm and damp stinging your eyes, blurring your vision. The last thing you wanted was to have a breakdown at your desk, where anyone can walked in on you resisting the urge to cry right there and then.

You were so deep in your own thoughts that you didn't sense Heeseung's presence, who wheeled himself to your side, eyebrows furrowed with concern written all over his face.

"Hey, what happened?" He asked softly, reaching out to rest a hand on your left shoulder, watching as you shrink, avoiding looking at him.

You shook your head, teeth sinking into the meat of your bottom lip. "..Nothing, it's fine," you croaked out, your voice slightly hoarse and scratchy as you sniffled.

Your friend sighed, having known you long enough to be able to tell whether you're lying or not. "What did he say this time?"

You choked out a watery and broken laugh despite yourself, raising a hand to rub at your eyes, ignoring how you'd come to regret your decision later. "What did he not say this time? It's a miracle he didn't tell me off in front of everyone."

Heeseung frowned, lips pursed in a thin line. "(Name), maybe you should tell the management."

"And what? What do I tell them?" You retorted. "Tell them that oh hi, I want to make a report that working under Park Sunghoon, who was my childhood friend, is giving me lots of stress and because of him, I'm unable to perform well."

"Yes, but—"

"No, Heeseung. You don't get it, it's not as easy as you think. What do you think will happen after I tell them? You and I both know the management isn't gonna do shit. To them, Park Sunghoon is this fucking god and life savior for saving the firm when it was on the verges of collapsing," you continued, cutting him off.

The man stayed silent, mostly because of two things. Firstly, you are right and secondly, there wasn't much he can say to convince you. Not when you had made up your mind. But that doesn't mean he's not allowed to speak freely.

"Then just tell me this and I want you to answer me honestly: do you still like him?"

Silence.

"I don't," you started, the words coming out too quickly and too obvious. "I mean—why would I? After everything he did, after the way he—"

Your voice faltered. The knowing, pitiful look Heeseung gave only made you felt even worse. Because deep down, the both of you knew you were lying and you weren't telling the truth. A bitter, humorless laugh slipped from your lips, running a hand through your hair with your eyes turning glossy under the overhead lights.

"I hate him," you confessed, your gaze dropping to the floor or your shoes. "I hate the way he acts like I'm nothing. Like we're nothing. I hate how he left without a word, like I wasn't even worth a goodbye."

Your chest tightened, something sharp stabbing right through your heart, feeling the heavy weight settling on your shoulders the more you spoke.

"But most importantly, I hate how he looks at me now… like I'm just another person in the firm."

You paused for a few seconds, plucking up the remains of your non-existent courage, despite the fact both Heeseung and you already knew what you were planning to say. What kind of words that was ready to leave the tip of your tongue.

"But despite all of that, I still love him. I really do."

You let out a shaky exhale, shaking your head like you're able to deny it. If only it was that easy.

"I don't know why. It's been years. He's not the same person anymore. Anyone with eyes can see that. He's… not the Sunghoon I knew and maybe that's the problem. Maybe I'm the problem, for wanting the old him to come back to me. And a part of me is still stuck in the past, still loving someone who doesn't exist anymore."

A pause.

Heeseung sighed, the sound itself speaks volume, speaking more than what his words could possibly carry.

"He doesn't deserve you, you know that? You're too good for him."

You weakly nodded, eyes getting unfocused. "I know, but I can't stop thinking about him."

◟‿୨୧‿◞

You chose to skip lunch—much to your two friends' disappointment as they wished you luck to which you waved it off but was internally grateful and spent the rest of the day slaving away on just one document. The one document that cost you your sanity and draining lifespan.

You pulled out the long list of references you used beforehand, cross-checking all of it more than three times. It's a miracle your eyes didn't get stuck in one place with how often you kept looking between two different pieces of papers. You type, delete, type and only for you to delete again. This cycle kept repeating itself as the hours dragged on.

You weren't even aware of your surroundings—of how more and more people were packing up as they get ready to leave, of how the lights of their desks were turned off, leaving yours still on and how the silence was getting louder and louder until it's loud enough to drown out your thoughts. You found yourself entering the zone, now able to rework on it with full confidence—a huge contrast to how you were a few hours ago.

When you were finally done, you leaned back into your chair and stretched your arms above your head, letting out a long, heavy groan as you cracked your fingers. The sound echoed loudly in the office and it was only when you bothered to check the time, was when you realized you had worked overtime.

Again. Not like it's anything new or shocking, considering the nature of your job.

You got up, groaning at your back pain—a sign of your old age, even though you're still in your twenties. Swiping the folder off your messy, clustered desk, you wasted no time in making a beeline to Sunghoon's office. With how late it was, you were the final person to leave.

At least, that's what you thought.

You came to a stop when you noticed the lights in his office was still on from a far. At first, you assumed he must have forgotten to turn it off in his haste of leaving but it was gone when you now stood before his door. You didn't knock and he didn't see you yet, giving you a chance to see (or admire, like the closeted freak you are.) him in his current state.

His tie and blazer was gone with the top two black buttons of his now wrinkled white dress shirt unbuttoned, revealing his pale skin. You briefly remembered how there were baseless rumors when he first joined, with people wondering if he was a vampire in disguise, due to how pale he was. Sunghoon rested his chin on the palm of his left hand, his long and slender fingers curled over his mouth as he absentmindedly tapped his nose.

Whatever he was looking at has him deep in thought. His eyebrows were furrowed, eyes slightly narrowed with him reading whatever was reflected on the screen. His usual neat and tidy hair was slightly messed up, with random strands poking out in different directions. Some even fell forward, hanging over his eyes, acting like a shield.

The sleeves of his dress shirt were rolled up to his elbows, revealing a delicious pair of arms that can make anyone drooled like a nasty dog. You swallowed, ripping your eyes away and looked up, nearly flinching on the spot when you made direct eye contact with him. For a moment, none of you looked away, seemingly entering a staring contest with you standing outside of his office and him seated by his desk.

Sunghoon raised an eyebrow and you took that as your cue to enter, pushing the door open while clutching the folder in your left hand. You stepped in, your footsteps muffled against the carpeted floor and you stopped before his desk. Your superior torn his gaze away from his desktop screen, looking at you with an unreadable, impassive look on his face.

"I assume you've finished it?" He asked, jumping straight to the point without beating around the bush.

You nodded, wordlessly handing the folder over to him. Sunghoon took it from your hand and flipped it open to read. The next few seconds of tense, thick silence felt like eternity. You shuffled your heels on the spot, curling and uncurling your fingers with your hands resting by your sides. You observed him the entire time, trying to read him but it was easier said than done. You had considered yourself as someone good in reading people via their body languages but when it comes to Sunghoon?

You got nothing.

After what felt like centuries when a solid seven minutes passed, he finally spoke up. He held the folder in his right hand, arms crossed across his chest. Every time he shifted or readjusted his position, it caused his muscles to move as well—something you noticed almost immediately, much to your utter frustration.

"This is more acceptable than your previous work," he said, not praising nor insulting you. Just stating a fact, as simple as that.

Normally, you would retort with something snarky of your own but with how late it was, you were too exhausted to argue with him. You simply nodded, turning and was ready to leave when it's clear he wasn't going to say anything else. Only for him to call out your name, stopping you.

"Wait, I'll drive you home."

What?

"…What?" You turned to him, eyes widening and mouth dropping slightly, dumbfounded, like you couldn't believed your own ears.

But Sunghoon was already moving. He shut down his desktop, slipped his glasses off in one fluid motion as he rose to his feet. He swiped his loose tie and blazer off the stand he hung them on, folding them over his left arm and grabbed his bag placed near his chair.

"I'm not taking no for an answer, (Name). It's already late and there isn't anymore buses or trains left. It'd be faster and safer if I just drive you," he pointed out.

You sighed, hating how he was right and obliged. You stepped out of his office, returning to your own desk. You quickly shut down your desktop, shoving your things into your bag and rushed over to regroup with Sunghoon, who was already waiting for one of the lifts to arrive.

There was some distance between you and him—roughly around fifteen centimeters. You busied yourself in checking your phone, catching up on the messages and notifications you didn't managed to read, not when you were busy typing like your life depended on it.

Ding!

The lift in front of you announced its arrival with a soft 'ding!' sound and the doors opened. The two of you entered with Sunghoon pressing on the B2 button before it closed. Faint classical, jazz music started playing, acting as white noise. You had unconsciously moved to stand in the right corner of the small, cramped space, wanting to be as far away as him from possible.

The silence thickened further as the lift came to a stop, doors opening to reveal the car park located at the second basement of the company. You followed Sunghoon as the man walked over to where his car was parked—a sleek, obsidian-black Mercedes Benz S-Class sat under the dim lights. Its polished surface reflects the cold white glow from above.

He unlocked the car with a soft click, walking straight to the driver's seat without sparing you a glance. You hesitated for a second before moving to the passenger side, the door handle cool under your fingertips. The interior was just as pristine as the exterior—black leather, faint traces of a clean, subtle cologne lingering in the air.

All it took was a simple, gentle press of a button for the car to spring to life. The engine purred to life smoothly, barely making a sound as he pulled out of the lot. The city lights and everything else turned into a blur as he drove, slowly stepping down on the gas with the figure gradually increasing until he's driving at ninety kilometers per hour.

Music was playing from the radio as you looked out of the window, not wanting to look him in the eyes. It didn't help that Sunghoon knew your address by heart—something the younger him have very much proudly boasting at the top of his lungs. You dug your short, clean nails into your face, not caring by the fact that you're leaving indents behind.

You should say something. But what can you possibly say in such a tense, awkward situation? There were so many things you wanted to ask but whenever you opened your mouth, it was like your voice chose that moment to give up on you. There were many, many thoughts swirling around in your mind whenever you think back to the past.

How you could have had it all instead of what you're facing now.

Why did you leave without telling me? Am I not worth a text or a simple farewell? Why did you came back as a completely new person? Who are you now? What happened when you moved abroad?

Instead of asking any of those questions—the very same questions that had been lingering in the back of your mind for the past twenty plus years, the only word you managed to utter out was:

"Why?"

Sunghoon didn't react immediately nor did he even spared a glance, like you weren't worth his attention. You furrowed your eyebrows, now turning your head to him. You observed his side profile—his sharp jawline that can make your fingers bleed if you were to trace it, his slightly cracked and dry lips that were pursed in a thin line with his eyes fixated on the highway road ahead of him.

His silence added more fuel to the growing fire residing deep in you and you pushed on, unable to hold it back anymore.

"Why did you leave without telling me?"

A few seconds of silence passed. For a moment, you thought he would ignore you again, how he will pretend he didn't hear you. But you caught the way his grip tightened on the steering wheel. A subtle action that if it was anyone else, they would have missed it.

But not you. You weren't anyone else.

"You're asking questions about something that has already happened," he said in a flat tone, like he was stating a simple, obvious fact.

You stared at him, rendered speechless before huffing out a incredulous laugh. Sunghoon made a turn to his right, exiting the highway as he entered a street you were familiar with—you were reaching home.

"So that's it? You just leave, go off the grid for years and then come back like nothing happened? Is it wrong for me to care about you?"

His jaw muscles twitched faintly and as per always, he remained silent. And gods, his silence is starting to infuriate you further.

"You wouldn't understand," he replied after a beat, now in quieter and more distant tone.

You narrowed your eyes, fingers twitching with the urge to reach out and slapped him. "Then tell me! You can't expect me to understand when you refuse to say anything!"

The car came to a stop at a red light, the glow casting faint shadows across his face. And finally, he turned to look at you and you wished he didn't. Because there was nothing there. No warmth, no familiarity and gone was the boy you once knew by heart, soul and mind.

"I don't have to explain everything to you," he said, the words sharp and deliberate. Sharp enough for you to feel like you were slapped in the face, leaving a stinging, lingering pain behind.

You couldn't speak, staring at him. Your throat tightened, stomach curling and twisting into itself as he turned back to the road, stepping down on the gas when the light turned green. It's crystal clear the conversation has came to an end and you decided to drop it, not wanting to waste any more of your drained energy to argue with him.

The moment the car came to a stop outside your house, you were quick to jump out of the passenger side, unable to tolerate breathing in the same air as him. You grabbed your bag, slammed the door shut on purpose and stomped your way to your house with your house keys held in your left hand.

The door closed behind you and you tossed your bag onto the floor, not caring whether the content inside was damaged or not. You lowered yourself until you were in a squatting position, arms resting on your knees as you cried. You wept like a fresh new widow who lost her husband to the war when that was far from the truth.

You wept for someone who doesn't deserve your tears, time and attention. You wept for someone who no chose to move on from the past, facing the future with a brand new mindset. You wept for someone who could care less about you.

And if you spent the rest of the night sobbing your eyes out, then that's only for you to know and a secret to keep.

◟‿୨୧‿◞

"Welcome home, sir. Your brother and parents are waiting for you in the dining room," the head butler informed him, in lieu of a greeting, bowing at a sharp ninety-degrees with his gloved hands placed in front of him.

Sunghoon scowled, not bothering to conceal his dissatisfaction as he handed his blazer and tie to the butler, who promptly took it from his outstretched hand. He never liked coming back to a home occupied by his parents. It was always something to do with their long, rich heritage of the Park family in the business industry and how they are practically the backbone of most of the companies.

The man turned, heading to the flight of stairs that will lead to the second floor, having no intentions of meeting them, only to stop when someone called out his name, making him froze.

"Sunghoon."

Resisting the urge to outwardly roll his eyes, he turned to face his older brother—Park Jongseong. He felt like he got shot right in the chest, something ugly curling itself around his heart at how the other man wasn't alone. There was another woman standing close to him, a woman with a very familiar face and someone who he knew for a while now.

He stiffly nodded his head to the woman, who returned it with a warm, polite smile as she bowed slightly, one hand on her chest.

"Sunghoon, it's been a while. How have you been?" She asked.

He sighed, moving to descend the flight of stairs until he's in front of the couple with some distance between them. Sunghoon's eyes darted down to the matching rings they worn before flicking up, swallowing the bile threatening to rise up his throat. His features softened slightly—a rare side that only a selected percentage of people were able to see.

"I'm fine, just busy with work. You know how it is, Areum," he answered.

Areum nodded, her lips covered in a thin, glowing layer of lipgloss curled up in a faint smile. "I understand. I heard you've successfully closed a difficult case. Well done, as expected of Park Sunghoon."

Normally, if it was anyone else who uttered those words, they would've received a cold, piercing glare from him. But Areum was different. She's like the older sister Sunghoon never knew he needed. Someone reliable, mature and clear-headed. Well, there is his brother but between Jay and Areum, he often gravitated to the woman instead, mostly because she was much easier to talk to, as compared to the other, who never fails to take the chance to tease him endlessly.

He let out a light, soft and genuine chuckle. "Thanks, Areum. But it's not something worthy of praise."

And Jay being Jay, snorted from where he stood. "Damn, just take her compliment, would you? It's weird watching you acting all polite."

"Jay!"

Areum scolded her husband, reaching out to deliver a light but stinging smack to his shoulder, drawing a pained hiss from him. Sunghoon snickered, all smug and since he's younger than Jay, he playfully stuck his tongue out—acting like how they were when they were young. His brother resorted to scowling from where he stood while resisting the tempting urge to throw hands with his younger sibling.

Ahem.

Their brief playful moment was rudely interrupted by someone pointedly clearing their throat. The three turned to see it was none other than their father. The very same man who owns the estate they are currently standing in and the very same man who built an industry from nothing. People couldn't believed when they find out he's already in his early sixties due to his still youthful look. Unlike the usual man who's seen shaking hands with shareholders, wearing a warm and professional smile on his face, the man standing before his two sons is the real him.

His eyes jumped from one face to another before landing on Sunghoon's, who didn't flinch nor did he backed down from the sudden eye contact. Just like the younger man, his father had perfectly aced the art of mastering and concealing his emotions, not allowing anyone else to decipher how he truly feels.

"All of you, stop fooling around. You're not children anymore," he started, his voice deep, low and slightly rough around the edges and his gaze lingered longer than usual on Sunghoon.

Sunghoon sworn he saw something akin to frustration behind those pupils but it was gone when he blinked. Without waiting for their response, their father turned and headed to the dining room. The three of them took that as their cue to follow him, not wanting to further worsen his mood.

But then again, the man was always in a bad mood. Which gets even worse when he's around his family.

They eventually arrived at the dining room, which was just as imposing as the rest of the estate—spacious, pristine and formal. A long, polished rectangular-shaped table stretched across the center, its glossy surface reflecting the warm glow of the lights hanging from above. High-backed chairs were arranged with perfect symmetry, each one as uncomfortable as the other.

Everything was meticulously set. Fine porcelain plates, neatly folded linen napkins and silver cutlery aligned with exact precision—untouched, like it's for display purposes rather than anything else. The air felt still, heavy with an unspoken tension that no amount of luxury could softened.

Their mother sat on one of the chairs, allowing her to face the doorway as they entered, moving to take their respective seats without hesitation. Jay sat with Areum, occupying the two vacant chairs opposite of his mother while Sunghoon sat beside the older woman. The final chair that was placed at the head of the table belonged to none other than his father.

No one spoke a word for a few seconds before his father broke it, directing his focus and attention to Sunghoon.

"Sunghoon, you'll be getting married in four months."

The words landed without warning, like a bomb was dropped on him out of nowhere. There was no greetings or no small talks before they dived into the main dish. Sunghoon didn't react immediately, going as still as a statue. The only form of reaction he exerted was his fingers tightening against the table.

Beside him, his mother remained perfectly composed and unfazed, delicately lifting her glass of white wine, like they were discussing something as minor as the weather itself. His brother and wife, on the other hand, had the same reactions as Sunghoon. The couple shared a bewildered look and Jay shot Sunghoon a worried look, but the younger man didn't see it, staring at a random spot of the table.

His father continued, not caring about the storm of conflict happening in his mind. "The arrangements have been finalized. Her family are major shareholders of the company and it will be beneficial to both parties."

Sunghoon slowly exhaled through his nose, finally lifting his gaze to meet his father's. "I'm not interested."

The temperature in the room dropped, the air thickening further. His father's expression darkened, jaw tightening as he leaned back into his chair.

"You don't get to decide that."

"I'm not agreeing to this," his son replied calmly but firmly.

For a brief moment, something flickered in his father's eyes. It wasn't surprise but rather, it was irritation.

"No, you lost the right to make decisions for yourself the moment you strayed away from your responsibilities."

Sunghoon frowned but remained silent, knowing what his father was referring to.

"And we let it happened. Your mother and I were lenient, even when you've embarrassed this family, even when you refused to take over the company, forcing Jongseong to do it instead while you flew to another country. And all for what? To pursue something as trivial as law itself," the man went on, his voice sharpening the longer he spoke.

"We gave you years to correct. To redeem yourself. But it's clear you mistook that for freedom."

Sunghoon narrowed his eyes, clutching onto the utensils so tight until his knuckles turned white. It's a sheer miracle on its own that he didn't snap it into half with how strong his grip was.

"This marriage is the consequence of your actions. You will marry her and you will start acting in the best interest of this family. No more defiance and no more selfish decisions," his father finally ended, each word deliberate and as sharp as a knife.

It's clear the conversation has ended, with the finalized tone his father used—the kind of tone he used when he's standing in front of a board of directors in those meetings he kept attending. Sunghoon lowered his head, his bangs falling forward to shield his eyes as their private bulters and maids started serving them their food.

The previous tense dining room was now filled with the occasional clink-clanking of utensils against porcelain plates and bowls. Everyone ate while chatting among themselves. Everyone but Sunghoon. He has no appetite to eat, not after what he was just told. He hated how his mind constantly drifted back to a certain someone, how every time he looked at her, a part of him was tempted to apologize, to tell her how he felt nothing but utter remorse about everything.

About the way he treated her, brushing her and the rich-filled history they had aside, like it was nothing but mere memories. About how he didn't have a choice in the first place. About how he was forced to do this. It was either flying to another country or risked having his parents controlled his life, leaving him under the mercy of them.

And most importantly, about how he was scared to ruin everything if he were to confess the feelings he had been harboring for a long, long time.

◟‿୨୧‿◞

The weekend passed in a blink of an eye, much to every working adult's disappointment and it was Monday again. You paid your surroundings no mind, holding a cup of warm coffee you ordered from the cafe located opposite of the law firm as you entered the lift, getting squeezed to a corner with more and more people entering. You managed to alight at your designated floor but you barely managed to take more than ten steps before someone threw themself onto you.

"What the-!?" You exclaimed, nearly dropping your precious cup of coffee as you staggered, managing to catch your balance.

"(Name), you need to see this!"

Beomgyu said, ignoring the annoyed glare you threw his way. Before you could say anything, he had dragged you to his desk and Heeseung was already there, scrolling through his phone while eating his breakfast.

"What's up with him?" You asked, pointing at your other friend, who threw himself into his seat, opening the Internet browser and started typing something at rapid speed.

"I don't know, he texted me at six in the morning, telling me how I needs to see this as soon as possible. Dude didn't even bother answering my other questions," Heeseung replied after swallowing his mouthful of food.

You chuckled and took a slow sip of your hot coffee. Beomgyu took that moment to finally show you and Heeseung what was reflected on the screen. You moved closer, reading it over his shoulder. What you you didn't expect was to read the bold and large headline reflected on his desktop's screen, staring back at you, mocking and laughing at you.

The color drained from your face. You tuned out your surroundings until they were reduced to nothing but white noise—the murmurs of the people around you, the sound of footsteps back and forth, the sound of fingers flying across keyboards and the rustling of papers. The cup of coffee slipped from your loose grip, landing on the floor with a loud noise and the fragrant, brown liquid splattered everywhere.

Thankfully, your clothes were out of harm's way but the same couldn't be applied to your heels as some had landed on it. You hissed in pain when the hot liquid landed on your bare skin. Your friends were quick to jump into action. Beomgyu was quick to swipe the tissue box off his desk and handed it to you. You grabbed a few pieces, lifting your right leg to clean the coffee stains, watching as the pristine white tissues turned brown as it soaked up the liquid.

You did the same with your other leg while Heeseung picked up your now empty cup, disappearing to the pantry to toss it away before returning shortly with a mop and bucket that he had filled up with water. You were about to take the mop from him but the man shook his head.

"It's fine, I can do it," he waved you off before you could say a word.

Beomgyu rose to his feet, flashing you an apologetic look. "Shit, I'm sorry, (Name). Maybe I shouldn't have showed it to you."

You shook your head, flashing what you hoped was an reassuring smile to your friend. "You don't have to apologize, Gyu. I'll find out about it sooner or later so thanks for the heads-up."

The two men shared a quick glance. Beomgyu was about to say something when an unfamiliar, polite and unsure voice spoke up, gaining everyone's attention.

"Uh, hello? I'm looking for Park Sunghoon."

Who is she and why is she looking for him?

When you saw her, the first impression that came to your mind was how out of place she looked. Not in a bad way that makes her stood out like a sore thumb. It's different from the usual sharp, intimidating presence that fills the firm. There was a softness to her, something almost hesitant in the way she portrayed herself.

Her hair fell neatly past her shoulders in loose waves, a natural shade that framed her delicate features. Her eyes were sharp but right now, they were wide with uncertain and confusion, obviously lost while trying to locate her designated destination. She worn a cream-colored blouse tucked into a high-waisted skirt that fell just below her knees. The outfit was paired with modest heels, simple and refined.

But most importantly, it whispered quiet wealth rather than loudly announcing it to the world.

Before you could say anything or react, one of your colleagues had approached her. He was kind enough to show her the way, bringing her over to your superior's office. Your eyes tracked her movement until she was out of your sight, unaware of how you had even stopped breathing until Heeseung tapped your shoulder, a worried look on his face.

"You good?" He asked.

"Fine," you answered almost immediately, feeling your world tilting as you returned to your desk in a daze, ignoring how Heeseung called out your name.

You sat down, staring at your desktop and before you knew it, your limbs moved before your mind could processed it. You opened a tab on your Internet browser, typing something and tapped the enter button on your keyboard. You clicked on the first link you see, bringing you to an article—the very same article that Beomgyu showed earlier on.

The headline remained the same. The longer you stared at it, the more tempted you were to grab the nearest thing and throw it at the screen, as if that can magically wiped the article away from the Internet.

'Legal Prodigy Park Sunghoon Announces Engagement to Han Seo-yeon, Heiress to Major Shareholder Family—A Strategic Union That Shakes the Industry.'

You've never felt this much pain in your life where every time you inhaled, a part of your heart shattered. Where every time you think about him, tears welled up in your eyes and you have to swallow it down, the motion itself stiff, awkward and painful.

It's times like this where you get reminded that you may still be stuck in the past, replaying the memories over and over, like a broken cycle. But for Sunghoon, on the other hand, he had moved on, choosing to focus on the present and the future. Even if that meant getting engaged to a stranger with no intentions of telling you.

◟‿୨୧‿◞

Knock knock.

"Who is it?" Sunghoon asked, not lifting his gaze to the door as he continued reading the document laid out before him—the very same document that you had gave it to him last Friday.

"A woman is here to look for you, sir. She said she's Seoyeon," his personal assistant informed him through the internal lines.

He paused when he heard her name. "Let her in."

"As you wish, sir."

Shortly after, the woman—Soyeon entered with a warm, friendly smile on her face. Sunghoon sighed, leaning back into his seat as she stood on opposite of him, with his desk acting as a barrier between them.

"What are you doing here? I thought we agreed for no public appearances unless it's necessary," he asked in a deflated tone.

The woman lightheartedly rolled her eyes as she sat down, elegantly crossing one leg over the other while placing her bag on her lap. "I know, but your father was very persistent in forcing me to make a surprise visit to your office. So, here I am."

He scoffed at the mention of his father, tapping his fingers on the polished surface of his desk. "Did you see the article?"

Soyeon nodded, pursing her lips covered in a shiny layer of lip-gloss, in a thin line. "Yeah, my parents must've been the ones to tell the press so they can release it without telling either of us. I'm sorry about that."

Sunghoon ran a hand through his fluffy, black hair as he let out a long, heavy sigh. Faint exhaustion can be seen in his eyes and across his face.

"It's not like they're willing to inform us beforehand."

The woman eyed him with an unreadable look before asking a question that made his blood ran cold. "I saw her just now. She's very pretty."

The man froze for a second, clearing his throat in an attempt to look composed. "Who are you talking about?"

She lets out a light laugh. "You know who, Sunghoon. I'm talking about (Name). I saw her earlier and it's not hard to notice her. She has that charm that draws you to her without you knowing. I think she saw the article too, judging from the horrified look on her face when she saw me."

Sunghoon tongued the inside of his left cheek and his jaw tightened. "Why are you telling me this?"

Soyeon sighed, her tone switching to a rather motherly tone, like he's her son who's still learning about the world. "Because it's obvious you like her. Anyone with eyes can see that."

He flinched, very much like a cat that got splashed with cold, freezing water. "You're imagining things."

"Right, and I'm the president of Seoul," she dryly retorted.

For the rare, few times in his life, the legal associate didn't know how to react nor what to say. He resorted to narrowing his eyes, scowling and sulking like a child. Soyeon chuckled and rose from her seat, now holding her bag in her right hand.

"Anyway, would you like to join me for lunch?" She proposed, looking at him with an eyebrow raised.

"I suppose, as long as it's not French cuisine again," he joked, rising to his full height while removing the glasses he worn, leaving it on the table as he grabbed his keys, phone and wallet from where the drawer underneath it.

Soyeon scoffed but the glimmer of amusement in her eyes said otherwise. "It's not my fault you're a man with no taste."

Sunghoon shot her an incredulous look, moving to open the door for her, allowing her to step out before he followed suit. "No taste? I'd like you to know I've dined in more than ten Michelin-Stars rated restaurants."

"Oh, is that so? Forgive me, my lord, for I must've struck a nerve," she sarcastically replied and Sunghoon chuckled.

Remembering something, Soyeon quickly slipped her hand into Sunghoon's right hand to intertwine their fingers together. The sudden contact and action made him glance at her from the corners of his eyes.

She flashed him a sympathetic, apologetic smile. "We're in public, so we have to sell it."

Something unreadable flickered across his face but it was gone when he blinked. He didn't like this—the arranged marriage they were put up with, how he's practically a pawn in whatever game both families are playing, being used like a tool. The two walked to the lift lobby together, hand in hand and his eyes automatically moved across the sea of people, searching for someone.

And he locked eyes with you.

You were at your desk, fingers poised over your keyboard while you were working on something that probably needs his attention whenever you're done. What made his heart tightened was how your eyes widened momentarily before returning to its usual size, how your eyes darted between his and Soyeon's face. He can practically imagined the loading logo floating on top of your head as you eventually connect the dots.

You were the first to break eye contact, snapping your head back to look at your screen, like you couldn't handle looking at him. Sunghoon dryly swallowed, allowing himself to be dragged by Soyeon as they entered the elevator that arrived at their floor.

If he has the ability to turn back time, he'd do it without hesitation. He'd do it to apologize, to amend the soon-to-be broken bridge between the two of you. And most importantly, to not be the reason for the amount of tears you've shed, especially when it's all because of him.

◟‿୨୧‿◞

"…llo? Earth to lover girl? Anyone home?"

You blinked, snapping back to reality. "What?"

Beomgyu sighed, waving his chopsticks around in a circular motion, speaking after he swallowed his mouthful of food.

"You weren't listening, were you? Lemme guess, you were too busy thinking about that uptight superior of yours. Seriously, I don't get what you see in him. Sure, he's handsome but compare to this," he paused to gesture at his own face with a cocky, arrogant grin that made you and Heeseung rolled your eyes, "that's nothing."

Beside him was Heeseung, who rubbed the space between his eyes as he muttered a string of words under his breath, no doubt saying his prayers. The three of you were currently having lunch at a famous ramen restaurant near your firm. You wanted to turn down the offer at first but your friends were persistent.

They (more like Beomgyu) kept begging and begging until you gave in, having to shush them (Beomgyu) when they let out a triumphant shriek, which brought you to your current situation. You let out a sigh, stirring the noodles in your bowl. You didn't have an appetite and every time your mind went back to seeing the woman and Sunghoon, you felt the urge to vomit right there and then.

Heat crept up the back of your neck with your ears turning red and warm.

"I wasn't thinking about him," you weakly defended yourself but the looks both men sent you said otherwise.

"Right, and I'm the future president. You looked like you were about to faint when you saw her," Beomgyu (un)helpfully pointed out, letting out a pained yelp when Heeseung roughly elbowed him from the side, nearly sending him toppling out of his seat.

You placed your chopsticks down after forcing yourself to take another bite, swallowing it before answering him.

"What am I supposed to think? I didn't expect he'd do this," you confessed, like you were admitting to a sin you committed.

Beomgyu shared a quick glance with Heeseung before speaking up. Unlike before, his voice no longer carries the casual joking and teasing tone. But rather, he sounds serious—an rare occurence that he only used when the time and situation called for it.

"(Name), I'm telling you this as a friend who's been with you for three years: you need to move on."

You visibly flinched, feeling like you were slapped right on your right cheek and getting an arrow directly shot into your chest. You looked down, staring at a random spot of the table as you avoided eye contact. Someone sighed—Heeseung. He reached out, placed his hand above yours and gave it a light, assuring squeeze. You lifted your head up at the action, meeting his doe-like eyes.

"Beomgyu's right. We've seen the effect Sunghoon has on you and we say this out of the goodness of our hearts, if you continue to live like this—choosing to stay in the past, trying to convince yourself or trying to defend him, then it'd only do you more harm than good," he explained in a soft tone, the kind of tone specially reserved when he's oh so gently giving advice to his colleagues.

"I—I wasn't defending him. I'm fine, I really am," you instinctively replied, trying to defend yourself.

The lie sounds hollow even to your own ears. Heeseung raised an eyebrow, never breaking eye contact as he tightened his grip on your hand.

"No, you're not."

Even though he's being gentle, it doesn't soften the blow at all. You furrowed your eyebrows, feeling a flicker of frustration breaking through your facade.

"You don't get to decide that for me."

"I'm not. I'm telling you what I see."

You stubbornly shook your head, withdrawing your hand, the contact feeling too much with his heat lingering behind. "Both of you are overthinking. He's my boss now. Of course things are gonna feel and be weird. That's all there is to it."

"You know that's not the truth," Beomgyu cut in, his tone still serious and unwavering from Heeseung's left side.

You made a frustrated sound, head snapping to him. "Alright, why are both of you acting like I'm some kind of mess? I'm doing my job just fine, aren't I?"

"That's not the point," Heeseung softly pointed out but there was something else behind it. Something heavier and something you didn't want to acknowledge.

"You can function. You show up, do your work, act like everything's normal," he paused for a second before he continued and honestly, what he said next made you felt like you were punched right in the stomach, "but the moment his name comes up, you fall apart."

You parted your lips, opening and closing but you couldn't say a thing. Not when he's right. Not when he's speaking the truth. Not when he has caught you red-handed.

Heeseung pressed on at your silence. "I'm not saying this to hurt you. I'm saying this because I'm tired of watching you hurt yourself over someone who clearly doesn't care the way you do anymore."

"That's not—"

"Then what is it? Because from where we're standing, it looks like you're still holding onto someone who already let you go," he directly asked, not beating around the bush.

Your chest tightened, something twisting into itself painfully as you dropped your gaze to the table, defeated without knowing what else you can possibly say in a situation like this.

"I just…" You trailed off. "It's not that easy, alright? I'm trying. I really am."

"Nothing about love is ever easy," Beomgyu said, his voice softening now, nearly matching Heeseung's.

"We're not asking you to forget and get over him overnight. But you have to try. Really try. You have to stop giving him so much power over you," he continued and what he said next made your breath caught.

"You deserve someone better than him."

Your throat tightened, vision turning blurry around the corners. You rapidly blinked your eyes, trying to keep yourself together, trying not to burst out into tears, at a restaurant during lunchbreak with your friends sitting opposite of you. As much as you wanted to argue and to defend him, another part of you had finally gotten the closure you needed.

That they were right and maybe, just maybe, it is finally time for you to face the future with a brighter and clearer mind.

When lunch was over with you managing to finish your bowl of noodles, leaving the restaurant feeling lighter with your friends walking on both sides of you. Thankfully, no one bat an eye to your red, swollen and puffy eyes as you shrink into yourself, not wanting to gather any unwanted and unnecessary attention.

You returned to the firm, heading to your desk to grab a small pouch that holds your makeup and other necessities as you headed to the ladies to freshen up. What you didn't expect was for you to bump into someone that made you came to an abrupt halt, standing at the doorway. The woman stood before one of the mirrors, fixing her appearance when her eyes drifted to you, making eye contact via the mirror's surface.

"You must be (Name)," the woman said, her voice gentle and warm, eyes glimmering with something unreadable as she screwed the lid of her lipstick back on with an audible 'click' sound that echoed throughout the space.

You slowly nodded your head. "..Yeah, and you're Soyeon."

Sunghoon's fiance.

She—Soyeon, made a sound of acknowledgment, turning around on the spot to face you. She crossed her arms, the nail polish on her nails seem to glow under the lights from above. You caught the way she scanned you from head toe, like she's searching for something. Maybe it's your weakness. Maybe it's the way you're dressed or how you carried yourself.

Whatever it was, she seemed pleased and satisfied, like she had found something she was looking for.

"Yes I am. I've heard a lot about you and it's a great pleasure to finally meet you," she said, pushing herself off the counter she was leaning on, approaching you with her right hand stretched out.

You accepted the unspoken offer of a handshake, out of politeness and nothing else. You pointedly ignored how you were able to feel the smooth, cool surface of the ring pressed against your fingers during the brief handshake, being the first to drop your hand while clutching onto your pouch, like it has some sort of ability to defend you from her.

"Only good things I hope," you replied, the words all awkward and stiff, like you've forgotten how to speak.

The other woman chuckled, cocking her head to the side. The movement caused her earrings to sway side to side. "Of course, Sunghoon couldn't stop talking about you."

That sentence caught you off-guard. You owlishly blinked your eyes, looking at her like she had spoken in a different language or she had grown another head.

"S-Sunghoon talks about me?" You squeaked out, your voice unnaturally rising an octave, your ears and cheeks turning red, feeling unusually warm.

This time, she couldn't hold back her laughter. She bent forward, hands clutching her sides as she laughed—the sound was light, airy, full of joy and whimsical at its finest. You could only stare at her, not quite believing the woman standing right before you is the very same woman who's the daughter of a famous couple—couple who are none other than the law firm's key shareholders.

Eventually, Soyeon calmed down, straightening herself as she wiped the tears away from her eyes.

"Whew, you should've seen the look on your face. That was funny, but yes. Believe it or not, he does talk about you. Although, talking would be an understatement," she said, something mischievous glinted in her eyes.

You were confused, wanting to ask her what she meant by that but the sound of approaching footsteps and hushed voices caught your attention. Hearing this, Soyeon steeled herself and flashed you a warm, friendly smile.

"I'll see you around, (Name). And trust me when I say this: you should talk to him."

And just like that, she walked out without waiting for your response, leaving you standing there, mind reeling from the conversation you just had. The only things you gained from her was more confusion and of course, more questions than before.

◟‿୨୧‿◞

Days stretched to weeks with everyone being busy and swamped away by their never-ending workload. It's one of the peak periods, which meant more time spent slaving away at their respective desks, more time staring at screens until a migraine starts forming. For a certain legal associate who goes by the name of Park Sunghoon, that meant dealing with more cases, ranging from solving easy, simple cases to encountering the most mind-blowing and baffling cases he had seen in his entire life.

Being a legal associate is hard work and it's also a position Sunghoon took pride in. However, the same couldn't be applied to his family. Or more specifically, his parents. He remembered the day it happened—the very same day where he made up his mind to toss everything aside. His family's reputation, his time spent studying something he clearly has no interest in and the amount of money poured into him, shaping him to be the next successor of the company.

The whole thing happened when Sunghoon was nineteen. Not too young to be considered a child but not too old to be considered a fully-grown, mature adult yet. The thought had been lingering in the back of his mind for a few days now. He hasn't told anyone yet, not even his own flesh and blood. He didn't know when was the appropriate time for him to tell his parents.

What he does know however, is they will definitely be against it. Against his sudden, abrupt decision. He can already foresee it in his mind—their stupefied expressions followed by a mixture of feelings—betrayal, horror and disbelief. Betrayal at the fact that he dared to turn his back against his family. Horror at the bold, unexpected move he pulled. Disbelief as they couldn't fathomed the thought of their very own son, daring to go against the long history of a Park refusing to take over the family's business.

Sunghoon had long packed his things, putting his clothes, things and everything else into his luggage and carry-on. He had booked the tickets behind his parents back, using his own money and will be flying off tomorrow, first thing in the morning. The boy stood at the foot of his bed, staring at his opened luggage with an unreadable look on his face. All that left was to tell his parents and—

"Sunghoon? What are you doing?"

His shoulders tensed at the sound of his older brother's voice. He looked over his shoulder, noting the bewildered look on his face, his wide eyes rapidly darting between the opened luggage and Sunghoon. He caught the moment Jay connected the dots, eyes widening further with his lips parting.

Jay closed the distance in no more than five large strides, invading his brother's invisible personal space. He gripped onto the front of Sunghoon's shirt in a vice-like grip, wrinkling the fabric in the process.

"Can you oh so kindly tell me why there's a luggage on your floor and why does it look like you're about to do something reckless?" Jay demanded, his voice low and serious with him barely able to hold himself back from doing something reckless.

Sunghoon remained silent, eyes averted to the side, having no intention of wanting to face his brother. Jay clenched his jaw at the other's prolonged silence, further brunching his shirt between his fingers.

"Park Sunghoon, you better give me a damn good reason why you're doing this or I'm punching you in the face," he warned him.

Sunghoon sighed, reluctantly turning to face Jay. "I'm flying to Australia tomorrow morning, to study law."

Silence.

Jay stared at him, blinking his eyes once. Twice and thrice before his words fully sank in. The grip on his shirt loosened, his hands dropping and returned to his sides.

"..You're leaving? Is it forever?" He asked.

Sunghoon shook his head. "No, it's just for five years and I'll come back once I graduated. I've already booked the flight tickets and managed to get a dorm to stay on campus. Don't worry about me, Jay-ah."

Jay barked out a loud, incredulous laugh, running a hand through his hair. "Don't worry about you? How can you expect me to stay calm when you didn't tell me until now? Why didn't you say a thing? I'm your older brother!"

Sunghoon scoffed and crossed his arms defensively. "And what about it? Not once have you stood up for me when Father kept forcing me to learn about business. You knew I have no interest in it! You knew my heart was never there in the first place!"

Every sentence he spoke, his voice grew louder and louder until he was hollering at the top of his lungs. It's clear as day that he had been harboring these feelings for a long, long time—how he truly felt as the second son of the esteemed Park Family. Jay, on the other hand, stood rooted to the ground, speechless and startled by his outburst. Sunghoon took his silence as the green light to keep going, the lid long removed.

"Every time we bumped into each other in college, you pretend to not see me. It's like I'm some sort of embarrassment to you! What's so embarrassing about wanting something different from someone else? Whenever Father kept pressuring me, telling me that I need to study hard to be as smart as you, I wanted to tell him, to hell with your stupid company! You only cared about your own futures while forcing your son to work away, like he's a tool."

Jay's eyes widened. This is his first time witnessing Sunghoon's pure, raw and unfiltered fury. "Sunghoon, I—"

"No, you listen to me, hyung. I've tolerated him for eight years. Eight. Years. Eight years of listening to that man forcing me to do this and that, without caring what I truly wanted. Eight years of having to obey his words. It's either that or get disowned from the family."

He paused, letting out a humorless and shaky laugh. It's the kind of laughter that one does when they have lost all forms of hope and when they were being forced into a corner.

"So I decided to leave. I don't care if they are against it. I don't fucking care if they want to disown me. Let them do what they want. Nothing they say or do will stop me from pursuing my dreams," he ended his speech, voice firm and filled with firmness. The firmness of someone who had clearly made up his mind.

Silence.

Jay lets out a long, heavy sigh. His shoulders slumped in defeat with resignation written all over his face.

"…You're right, I've been a horrible brother to you. I wasn't there when you needed me, too caught up in my own world. I should've stepped in the moment I saw Father's persistent attempts to mold you into the son he wants. The type of leader he wants. But Sunghoon, for what it's worth, I'm proud of you."

The second son frowned, confused. "About what?"

Jay's features softened, stepping closer to pull him into a bone-crushing hug. He rested his chin on Sunghoon's right shoulder with his arms tightly wrapped around the other boy's figure.

"For having the courage to throw everything aside and to chase after your dreams. I'm sure you'd succeed and just know that I'll always be proud to call you my brother."

To put it shortly, their parents didn't take his decision well to heart—which wasn't surprising in the slightest. The two of them—Sunghoon and his father, argued like their lives depended on it. Hurtful words and creative insults were thrown at one another without hesitation. His father had the last word. What he said made the younger boy nearly see red.

"Fine. You can go but I want you to remember this for the rest of your life—whatever you do next is not your own decision. It will be decided by me and you have no say in this."

It took all of Sunghoon's self-restraint to hold himself back from saying things he couldn't take back, simply turning to stomp out of the room, slamming the door shut on his way out. He didn't sleep that night, spending the rest of the hours tossing and turning while angrily shedding tears, staining his pillow.

Since his flight bounded to Australia is at seven in the morning, he needs to be at the airport by five latest. He left at three thirty, not wanting to spend another second or minute being under the same roof as his father. The entire house was fast asleep—the way he wanted it to be when he leaves for his flight.

He managed to book an Uber and left for the airport with his house getting smaller and smaller until it was out of his sight. And from that day onward, Sunghoon's Father never viewed him with pride anymore. But rather, it was with disappointment and frustration.

"Huh, never thought I'd see you here."

Sunghoon snapped back to reality, pulled away from his train of thoughts when a familiar voice spoke to him. He straightened himself, looked over his shoulder to see someone standing behind him. Someone who he never thought he'd see again. Not when their last interaction was in Australia.

"Jake? What are you doing here?" He breathed out, confused to see his friend standing right before him in the flesh.

The two were assigned as roommates during their five years spent at law school. They clicked immediately. They are the same age, have lots of common interests and it was also thanks to Jake's help that Sunghoon was able to read, write and speak English fluently. Living in a country that's English-only does that to a foreigner. They also made jokes about how they were fated and meant to be, due to how close they grew.

"I'm on vacation and decided to fly to Seoul. Didn't expect to bump into you though."

Jake smiled, his face brightening up along with as he plopped down into the high stool on Sunghoon's right, turning it to face him with one elbow resting on the countertop. The two men are in a bar. There was a live performance happening right now, with a live band playing—the jazz music they were playing does more than enough to set the mood.

The sounds of people chatting with one another, with the occasional glasses clinking and the sound of cutlery scrapping against the plates echoed in the air, making the bar sounds lively. Sunghoon is a frequent customer of this specific bar, to the point where the staff recognized him and already knew what his orders is with one look at his face.

It was close to nine when he entered the bar, mind lagging with his body starting to shut down after working overtime by spending hours reviewing documents followed by him preparing for a trial tomorrow. A trial for a very serious case, to be exact. Sunghoon sighed and Jake heard it, despite how their surroundings were loud.

"What's wrong man? You looked like you got dumped. I saw the news too," he said, pausing to wave the bartender over, placing his order in fluent Korean with a hint of Australian accent before continuing his sentence, "I didn't take you as the type to move on that quickly."

"It's not real," Sunghoon replied without missing a beat, staring at a random spot of the bar counter. He further elaborated when he felt Jake's inquistive gaze.

"What's not real? The marriage?"

He nods his head.

Jake remained silent as the bartender slide him his order, taking a sip from it before placing it back down on.

"What really happened, Sunghoon-ah? You know you can tell me anything," he asked in a softer tone, like he's talking to a stray, frightened cat he stumbled upon on the streets.

Sunghoon sighed, running a hand through his hair. He absentmindedly caressed the sides of his shotglass.

"I didn't want to be like them, working in the business world and taking over my family's company. That's not what I want but my father refused to see it from my shoes. He didn't want my brother to take over, even though he has passion and interest in it. I, on the other hand, preferred to live in the world of law. I ended up going behind my parents' back, booking plane tickets and enrolling into a law school to fulfill my dreams of becoming a lawyer."

He paused, taking another swing of his alcohol, able to sense his friend's unwavering eyes on him the entire time. Sunghoon placed the now empty glass down, waving one of the staff over to refill it again. Jake noticed this, furrowing his eyebrows with faint disapproval written all over his face but he made no move to stop him. Not when it's clear the younger man needed this.

Once his shotglass was full, he wasted no time in downing it in one go for the second time, barely blinking against the strong taste of liquor going down his throat.

"I didn't tell anyone about my choice. Jay found out by accident and we argued. But he knew no matter what he says, he couldn't convinced me to rethink my decision. I ended up telling my parents and obviously it didn't went well. He ended up letting me go, as the tickets were booked. And then…"

His voice trailed off, starting to zone out with brief memories of the fateful dinner playing in his mind. Jake reached out, resting a hand on his friend's shoulder. The mere contact was enough to snap him out of his trance and he continued, shooting Jake a grateful look.

"And then, my father told me he had set me up for an arranged marriage. Her parents are major shareholders to the company, so the marriage will be helpful to everyone. Everyone except me," he sneered, the final word dripping with disdain that he didn't bother concealing.

Jake clicked his tongue. "Damn, that sucks. Thank god I'm not born into some uptight families." He paused when something hit him and his eyes widened slightly.

"Wait, if you're getting married soon, then what about her?" He questioned and Sunghoon knew who he's referring to, even without saying her name.

"There's nothing I can do anymore. She's just my trainee solicitor. Nothing more and nothing less," he retorted, words borderline slurring with his shotglass being refilled for the third time, to which he gulped it down without second thoughts.

"Yikes, that's harsh but is that what you want? To remain as her superior?" Jake pushed further.

Sunghoon side eyed him, the shotglass now being held in his left hand. "What are you trying to say?"

The previous, usual easygoing expression he had was gone, now replaced with something serious—a rare sight for someone like Jake.

"I'm saying, you're being an idiot."

Silence.

Sunghoon scoffed, snapping his head forward. The abrupt motion made his mind spins and he groaned, squeezing his eyes shut while fighting against the sudden dizziness before reopening them again.

"Watch your mouth."

"No, you shut up and listen to me," his friend fired back, voice growing firmer now. "I may not work in the same firm as you but I know you, Sunghoon. I know what you're doing—you kept shutting her down, acting like she's just another employee, like she means nothing when she means everything to you."

He tightened his grip on his shotglass.

"I'm trying to protect her," he replied, but deep down, he knew that was nothing more than a pathetic lie and a weak, feeble excuse.

"Bullshit."

That one, singular word came out as sharp as a knife. Sunghoon glanced at him from the corner of his eyes but didn't say a thing.

Jake exhaled. "You can keep telling yourself that all you want but it doesn't change anything. Not for you and definitely not for her. What you're doing is a fucking coward move."

That got a reaction from him. Sunghoon's jaw muscle twitched, now gripping onto the shotglass while fighting against the urge to throw it at the wall.

"Sim Jaeyun, I'd watch my mouth if I were you," he warned him in a low tone.

"Why? Because I'm right? Because I struck a nerve?" Jake retorted, unfazed and showing no signs of backing down.

"You don't get to treat her like that just because things didn't go your way. She didn't do anything wrong, Sunghoon. If anything, she's the one who got screwed over when you left without a word, only to become someone she barely knew anymore, like you're nothing more than a stranger."

He remained silent, lips sealed shut but his silence was louder than any response. Jake softened, just a little though.

"Look, if you really don't feel anything towards her anymore, fine. Then act like a decent human being with some manners and give her the closure she needs. Talk to her. Tell her the truth."

Sunghoon looked away, choosing to look out of the windows instead. After all, that was easier said than done. If anything, he'd rather take the truth with him, even when he's on his deathbed.

"Don't just pretend she's nothing to you. Because whether you like it or not, she was something. And from the way you talked about her to that look in your eyes, something tells me you feel something towards her."

Jake paused, letting his words sink in before he speaks up again.

"You're getting married. Married. That's a lifelong bond you'll have and it's not with her. Do you think you can survive watching as she moved on, fall in love with someone else who isn't you?"

Sunghoon didn't respond, not wanting to think about that. The thought of you walking hand-in-hand with someone else, someone that's not him, looking at him with your smile—the same fucking smile that never failed to make his heart melt while giving them that soft, tender and loving gaze, was enough for bile to rise in his throat.

He didn't respond, mostly because he couldn't find the words in him to describe the amount of frustration, insecurity and the huge conflict he had been holding for the past few years. But the way he downed the next shot—faster than the rest, said more than enough.

◟‿୨୧‿◞

You were in the comfort of your couch while slurping instant noodles from a pot as you were catching up on one of your favorite shows when someone knocked on your door. It was faint, barely audible if not for the low volume of the show currently playing on the television. You froze, mouth opened, fork hanging in the air as you were about to take another bite of your noodles.

For a moment, you thought you were hearing things. You didn't move an inch and when it's quiet again, you shrugged it off and continued eating—

Knock knock.

Only for it to happen again. This time, it's louder than before. You sighed, placing your pot on the low coffee table before you as you got up, groaning at the numbness in your toes. You headed to the door, making the mistake of not checking through the peephole, unlocked and opened it. Out of everyone you expected, you didn't expect it to be him.

But he's not alone.

"You don't know me but I know you-Wait, that sounds creepy," the man who's clearly struggling to keep Sunghoon standing upright spoke up, only to mumble to himself under his breath.

You were able to detect the faint Aussie accent in his voice and how he strangely resemblances a dog. Or more specifically, a golden retriever. You stood by the doorway, one hand on the doorknob with your eyes jumping from the two men's faces.

"What happened to him?"

You asked, pointing at Sunghoon whose obviously not alright, considering the evident Asian flush he has, his half-lidded, glossed over eyes and how he's half-leaning and half-stumbling on the spot while trying not to fall face-flat into the hard, solid ground or knocked his head against the doorframe. Although, you would pay good money to see that happen.

Not that you'd wished that on your superior. (Spoiler alert: you definitely would.)

The man had a sheepish look on his face. "He didn't want to listen to me and got drunk."

"I can see that. But why did you bring him here?" You deadpanned.

"Because he kept saying your name."

Silence.

Your breath caught, left fingers curling in on itself as it rested by your side. You stared at Sunghoon, watching as his usual cool, composed and collected demeanor was torn down, now replaced with him drunk, body swaying side to side on the spot. This wasn't the superior you're used to seeing at work, the man who kept pushing you away and never failed to remind you of your position.

No, this is just Park Sunghoon in all of his glory. The raw, unfiltered version of him that you've never seen before.

"..I think you got the wrong person," you ended up saying, grabbing onto any last hopes to push him away. Heeseung and Beomgyu's words echoed in your mind—a reminder and a gentle push to the direction you're supposed to go.

The man arched an eyebrow, pulling out a phone—Sunghoon's phone, from his own pocket and turned the screen around, showing the lockscreen—Sunghoon's lockscreen. What you saw made the air left your lungs, like you were punched right in the guts.

It was you.

Not the current you, now employed and working in the law firm. But rather, the you eighteen years ago. The picture of you was taken with you mid-laughing, head slightly tilted back with your eyes crinkled in a way that made them disappeared completely. Sunlight hits your face at just the right angle, all soft and warm. It even managed to catch the stray, loose strands of your hair.

It wasn't a posed picture nor were you looking at the camera. Heck, you didn't even know it was taken.

"…He took this," You whispered, more to yourself than anyone else.

Your fingers twitched at the side. A strange, unfamiliar feeling settled itself in the depths of your stomach as you stared at the screen. You vividly remembered the day crystal clear. It was an ordinary, regular day, just like any other day there is in the year. You spent the entire day with Sunghoon—from chasing one another, to going to playgrounds or parks to walking home together at the end of the day.

But the same couldn't be applied to him. Just because it was ordinary to you, it wasn't to him. The man observed your expression and reaction carefully, something sharp glimmered in his eyes.

"Yeah. He did."

You remained silent, mind spinning with what you just seen. None of this make sense. The man you once knew—the one who looked at you like you were nothing, who spoke to you with tight politeness, drawing the lines between the two of you and occasionally being unreasonably harsh towards you, doesn't match this.

"Still think you're the wrong person?" The man asked in a gentle, knowing tone.

You parted your lips but couldn't find it in yourself to say a single word. Instead, you opened the door wider, moving to the side to give them space.

"..Come in."

The man—who goes by Jake, left after he set Sunghoon down on the couch. His annoyingly long legs nearly knocked your pot of noodles down to the floor if you didn't move it out of the way in the nick of time. And now, here you are—at eleven on what was supposed to be a peaceful Friday night for you to wind down from work, resulted in you getting an unexpected guest.

The guest being none other than Park Sunghoon himself.

It's clear he passed out the moment his head touched the cushion of the couch, falling asleep right there and then while remaining blissfully unaware of his surroundings or the fact that he wasn't in his own house. You stood by the foot of the couch, your show long forgotten as you looked down at the man in pure exasperation.

"Great, what do I do now?" You muttered under your breath, running a hand through your hair, your brain struggling to think of your next move.

You left the living room, shortly returning afterwards with a damp towel held in your hands and a stack of neatly-folded oversize clothes. You moved closer, now standing closer to him as you bend over from your hips, reaching out to gently dap the towel on his face—an attempt to clean him up. He didn't stir much, allowing you to do as you pleased—much to your relief.

However, the relief didn't last long. When you moved the towel down to his neck, the fabric grazing against his sharp, precise jawline, he reacted. One moment you were on your knees. The next moment, you were being pulled upward. You let out a startled yelp, your vision turning sideways as the towel fell from your grip.

You let out a strangled "oof" when your face was awkwardly squashed into his neck with his arms securely wrapped around your figure, locking you in place as he hugged you, like a koala bear clinging onto its mother. Your hands were poised awkwardly in the air, like you're uncertain if you're allowed to touch him or not despite how Sunghoon is literally hugging you like there's no tomorrow.

Your mind blanked out when he pulled you closer, if that's even possible in the first place as he groaned, furrowing his eyebrows, like he's having a nightmare. You moved your head away as you placed one hand on the armrest of the couch while the other on the back, pushing yourself up with your knees on both sides of his thighs.

Your face was bright red when realization hits you at the rather… scandalous position you're in. It's almost like you're about to ri—

"No, this is fucking stupid. Get a grip of yourself," you muttered, wildly shaking your head side to side to get rid of any unwanted, distracting thoughts in your mind.

You picked up the towel, ready to walk away when Sunghoon's hand shot out to grab your wrist. Your shoulders tensed at the mere contact, freezing on the spot. You didn't dare to look at him, not wanting to see him wide awake and looking at you. And despite that, you decided to risk it and sneak a quick peak over your shoulder, only for you to heave a sigh of relief when you're greeted with the sight of Sunghoon sleeping peacefully with his eyes closed.

You reached out with your free, clean and dry hand, ready to pry his hand away from your wrist when you saw his lips moved, almost like he was saying something. Curiosity getting the better of you, you inched closer, bending forward a little to hear him better and then—

"…Don't go…"

The words were barely audible, all slurred, fragile and weak, like they will shattered with just one simple push. You went as still as a statue, breath hitching and your heart did a somersault when his grip on your wrist tightened, just slightly, like he's afraid you might slipped away from him, even when he's asleep.

"…Just… stay… a little longer…"

What?

Your heart stuttered. It stopped beating for a moment when you fully registered the words he whispered. You knew he was merely talking in his sleep—something anyone can do. And besides, he's drunk. But as the saying goes, 'drunk words are sober thoughts', you hated how a small part of you felt hopeful—something you haven't felt for a long time.

"I…I didn't mean to…" He murmured, furrowing his thick eyebrows slightly, too deep into whatever dream he was having. "I thought… it'd be easier for you if I just…"

His voice and words trailed off, uncertainty seeping into them. You hated how you were waiting with bated breath, anticipation pumping through your veins, dying to know what he was planning to say next.

"..I still miss you…"

The silence that followed afterwards was heavy, thick and deafening. You couldn't hear anything else, other than your own loud, rapid beating of your heart that seems to echo throughout the four walls of your living room.

And just like that, everything you tried so hard to bury, to ignore and to convince yourself that the past doesn't matter anymore. Especially when you were about to embark on a journey, to start the slow, long-term process of moving on. All of it was washed down the drain and you've never been this conflicted in your entire life.

◟‿୨୧‿◞

What the? Where am I?

Sunghoon woke up to find himself laying on a couch that was too small for him. He looked around, noting the unfamiliar but familiar walls. The man pushed himself up, only to hiss when his head spins, causing him to stop as he clutched the side of his head, only shifting when the giddiness stopped. He sat up, groaning at the lingering backache from the uncomfortable position he slept in and it then hit him.

He's in your house.

"What the fuck happened?"

He murmured to himself, trying to recall the series of events leading to this but he came up empty. No matter how much he tried to think back, all he got was a blank space, hitting the dead end. Sunghoon clicked his tongue, annoyed at the wide gap in his memory. Before he could ponder over it, he heard the sound of soft footsteps coming from his right.

His muscles tensed up, already knowing who it was without looking back.

"Oh, you're up. How are you feeling?" You asked, acting like everything's perfectly fine and dandy when it's far from normal.

Sunghoon swallowed, clearing his throat as he pointedly faced the front, staring at the outline of his figure reflected on the blank television screen before him. "Better now, still have a slight hangover but I'd get over it. I should get going."

He hurriedly said the last sentence, not wanting to make you anymore uncomfortable. Or maybe, just maybe, he didn't want to give you the wrong idea. The wrong idea that there's something between the two of you. If he listened closely, he can imagine Jake going off at him again, probably telling him off about how stupid he is but he quickly shoved his friend out of the window.

You stopped, now entering his sights and you slowly turned on the spot to face him. His eyes flicked to your direction, only for him to do a double-take when he realized you had dressed up more than usual. Even more than you during working hours. Sunghoon couldn't helped with the way he scanned you from head to toe with his eyes, taking in your figure, forgoing the thought of being subtle.

You worn a soft, form-fitting dress in a muted pastel shade that complemented your figure perfectly, the fabric hugging your waist before elegantly falling to just above your knees. The neckline was modest but the way it framed your collarbones along with a silver necklace resting just above, drew attention without trying.

A light cardigan loosely hung off your shoulders, sleeves pushed up to your arms, giving you a soft and almost effortless look. Your heels were simple, not too high or low but enough to add a hint of confidence from where you stood. Your hair wasn't how it was at work and one look was enough to tell him that you had styled it, with soft waves framing your face, catching the light whenever you moved.

It makes you looked…

Sunghoon swallowed for the second time.

Stunning.

There was no other word for it and he hated how the thought immediately came to him. He's so caught-up in his mini staring game that he wasn't aware you had noticed it. Noticed how his gaze lingered longer than usual. Noticed how his eyes kept flicking down to your lips. Lips that were covered in a noticeable, glossy shade of lip-gloss. Lips that looked kissable.

To be more specific, lips that he wants to kiss.

You frowned at the prolonged silence and how he kept staring at you. "Is there something wrong?"

No. Yes. You look beautiful. Stay here with me. I'm sorry for how I've treated you. Please come back to me.

Instead of saying any of those sentences, he asked a question instead, with the words slipping from his mouth before his still half-asleep brain could processed it.

"Where are you going?"

Silence.

Sunghoon internally cursed at himself the moment it slipped. You paused, body already angled towards the door, only to freeze when his voice pierced through the silence. You looked over your shoulder, confusion written all over your face. And gods, he desperately wished he can just get up, closed the distance and kissed you until you're gasping for air, until you're begging for him and until you didn't want to leave anymore.

But he held himself back, which proved to be a difficult task for someone who always keep his cool. Not when it comes to you though.

"Uh, I'm going out. Why?"

"With who?"

Not when you're dressed like that. Dressed like you're the main character and how you're gonna draw attention from everyone. Everyone who's not me.

He saw the way you narrowed your eyes and how you ran your thumb over your knuckles—something you do when you managed to pick up something about him. Up to now, it felt like you have some sort of hidden, secret ability to read his thoughts. Like you're a mind-reader and honestly, if you truly were, it will make his life so much easier—not that he'd dare to say it out loud.

"Why are you asking?" You fired back with a question of your own.

Sunghoon stubbornly remained silent—his signature move and you scoffed, making a show of rolling your eyes.

"I'm going out with Heeseung. We're gonna have lunch."

The moment those words left your mouth, something in the air shifted. It was small but it was unmistakable. The air thickened, so thick that one can sliced it apart with a mere butter knife. His eyes darkened a shade, now resting his elbows on his thighs with his legs spread slightly. He intertwined his fingers together—to prevent himself from doing something as reckless as kissing you right there and then.

He exhaled through his nose and looked to the side. "Right. Of course."

Even though he muttered it under his breath, you caught it. Of course you did. You swallowed the sudden rise of irritation that shot up when you heard his words. You crossed your arms, tapping your fingers on your arms while boring holes into his head. If looks could kill, he would've died on the spot.

"What's that supposed to mean?" You asked, sounding defensive but you couldn't help it.

"Nothing," he snapped, his tone cold and harsh—exactly how he sounds like in the office.

In a poor, feeble attempt to distract himself, Sunghoon stood up and ran a hand through his messy hair. He looked everywhere but you, like it's painful for him for his eyes to land on you. And to him, it is painful. Painful that you actually put in effort to meet someone. Most importantly, it's another man. He knows you and Heeseung are close, often seeing the two of you hanging out together whenever Beomgyu was too busy with work.

He remembered watching from wherever he was with a tight jaw, a vice-like grip until his knuckles were turning white, as you conversed with Heeseung. Sunghoon couldn't do anything but to watch, like a bystander, as someone made you laughed until you were shedding tears, until you were gasping and wheezing for breath, until your entire face lits up the entire room—

"I wasn't aware you have plans," he added after a moment, his tone forced into something neutral but the tightness in his voice gave it away.

You didn't catch it, too busy trying not to lose your mind at how weird he's acting. "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know I'm supposed to report my schedule outside of work to you."

It's clear you were being sarcastic and honestly, you weren't in the wrong. Sunghoon looked out of the window, noting how blue the sky looks today. He hated how his heart tightened with ache at your bluntess, at how you didn't hesitate to stand your ground. But that was one of the many things he loved about you.

"..Right."

He said quietly and he should stop there. Should let you get going but there was another part of him. Another small, selfish part that wants to keep you here, in the same room as him, as long as possible. Forget Heeseung.

"And you dressed up for that?"

A wave of regret hits him immediately after that. He should say something but it was too late. The damage was already done. You gawked at him, mouth wide open with a mixture of emotions written all over your face—anger, frustration and most importantly, disbelief.

Sunghoon sank his teeth into his bottom lip, shoving his hands into the pockets of his pants to hide how he had curled them into tight fists, actively restraining himself.

"What the fuck are you trying to say? God forbid me from wanting to dress up. It's not like we're going on a date," you retorted, shoulders trembling in rage with the flames gradually rising.

Sunghoon glanced at you from the corner of his eyes and looked away. "..Whatever, it's none of my business. Go on. I won't hold you back any longer. I can see myself out."

You stared at him, rendered speechless with his rude, cold behavior.

"Seriously, what the hell is wrong with you!? You should be grateful that I even let you into my house in the first place. If not for Jake, you would've been lying on the streets. But since you don't care about anything other than work and that fiance of yours, what else do I really have to say?"

You sneered, pausing for a second to let the words sink in before you continued, practically spatting them out, like the words are nothing but toxic venom. And Sunghoon can feel your hatred just from those words alone.

"This is the last time we'd be seeing one another out of work. Never ever try and talk to me again. Good fucking bye, Park Sunghoon. You're a fucking asshole and I hope you know that."

You didn't wait for his response, spinning to stomp out of your house, aggressively slamming the door shut with a loud, ferocious force that it's a miracle it's still attached to the hinges. Once you were gone, Sunghoon collapsed into the couch. He covered his face with his hands and groaned, the sound muffled and full of nothing but pure agony.

"What have I done?"

◟‿୨୧‿◞

You started avoiding Sunghoon ever since then but it was easier said than done. The fact that you're working in the same firm is one thing. But the other fact that you directly report to him is another different thing. However, you weren't blind to notice the small but gradual changes about him.

One good example will be when you were pulling another all-nighter, trying to read through the countless and seemingly never-ending case files spread out before your desk. Sunghoon had accepted a case but unlike any other cases, this was probably the most baffling case you laid your eyes on in your entire life.

At first glance, it was simple—just another hit-and-run case. But that was just the tip of the iceberg. It was thanks to Sunghoon who discovered something was amiss when he read through the report, constantly replaying the CCTV footage he managed to get a hold on, again and again like a broken cycle and that's when it hits him.

"Your report is missing something," he spoke up out of the blue.

After sitting in silence for the past few hours or so in Sunghoon's office, you jerked in your seat when he said that sentence, horribly catching you off-guard. It didn't help that you were exhausted as well, fighting the urge to fall asleep right there and then.

"What is?" You asked, confused.

"The accident was reported at 11.42pm but she passed the intersection at 11.39pm."

You blinked, still not following along. You watched as Sunghoon grabbed a pen and flipped the document to the other end, writing down the timestamps in neat, precise strokes. You had to wheel your chair towards his desk to get a closer look.

"There's a three minutes difference. That's barely enough time for impact, panic and escape, especially on a road with traffic lights and cameras."

Your eyes widened when you started to connect the dots. "…Unless she didn't stop."

"She would've had to slow down at the junction, no matter what," he pointed out.

"So the timeline is off," you concluded.

Sunghoon nodded in agreement, locking eyes with you. "Yes, and that it's done by someone else."

For some reason, you didn't look away from him, like you were having your own moment—just like those moments shared between the two leads in a Kdrama. Time seemed to slow down with everything coming to a stop. You caught the way his eyes flicked down to your parted lips. For a split second, you thought he was about to do something reckless but instead, he broke eye contact and pointedly cleared his throat.

"Let's stop here for today. I'll drop you off since it's late," he said, voice tense.

You mutely nodded, moving to pack your things while replaying the brief moment you had in your mind. You weren't sure why but maybe it was the way he looked at you. Maybe it was that certain look in his eyes. Whatever the actual reason was, you couldn't put a finger on it and you shrugged it off, not wanting to think twice about it.

What you didn't know however, was that was just the start. The start of Sunghoon attempting to redeem himself.

◟‿୨୧‿◞

Another example happened one week later, after the trial was successful in Sunghoon's favor. The client—a woman, was on cloud nine, profusely thanking him and you for saving her life. You had to swallow the sudden surge of irritation when the woman boldly embraced him while shedding happy tears. You knew the gesture doesn't mean anything and how she did it out of pure gratitude.

But that doesn't mean you were blind to how something ugly made itself known as it curled around your heart before sinking its claws in. Something painfully similar to jealousy.

You're being stupid. Why are you getting jealous? It's not like you're his fucking girlfriend.

You shook your head to clear your mind of the distracting thoughts, not wanting it to further ruin or dampen your mood. You felt something sharp being lodged deep in your heart when she rested her hand on his arm, fingers spread out, like she wants to touch more of him. The last straw comes in the form of her stepping closer, invading his invisible personal space and how he stiffened—a subtle move that didn't went unnoticed by you, made you stepped forward.

"Excuse me, Mam, we have somewhere else to be, so if you could excuse us," you loudly said, gathering the attention of the people around you as they looked at you with matching curious stares.

You smoothly inserted yourself in between the woman and Sunghoon. To anyone else, it would be an amusing sight—for you're shorter than your superior and compared to him—someone who often goes to the gym twice per week, he gives off the appearance of someone who knows how to handle himself. You didn't turn around to face him, already able to visualize his surprise with how you rescued him.

The woman was stunned, owlishly blinking her eyes a few times, evidently flustered. She then lets out a strangled, forced laughter, pretending everything was fine when it's not.

"Oh, right, sorry about that. If that's the case, then I won't keep you waiting," she said, bowing slightly before excusing herself, walking away with her face bright red in shame.

You spun around, glaring at Sunghoon and scoffed when you made eye contact. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

He raised an eyebrow. "Like what?"

Like the way you used to, back when we were kids.

Your lips remained sealed shut, not wanting nor having the courage to utter those words out loud.

"..Forget it, let's go. We have another case on our hands," you muttered, walking past him with him easily matching your pace. Even when you refused to glance at him, you can feel the intensity of his firm, unwavering gaze.

Maybe it was the trick of the light or maybe your vision is starting to deteriorate but you sworn you saw something akin to softness when you risked a glance at him as both of you walked side by side. If Sunghoon stepped closer until the fabric of your blazers brushed against one another and how you didn't step away, then that was your secret to keep.

◟‿୨୧‿◞

The last and final example took place at a company dinner that took place at a five-stars hotel. Your jaw practically dropped to the floor when you arrived with Heeseung and Beomgyu, unable to believe what you were looking at. Beomgyu was the first to react as the three of you entered the lobby, following the directions provided to one of the major event rooms where the dinner will be taking place.

"Jeez, I know the company's rich but not this rich!" He hissed under his breath, eyes wildly darting left and right, trying to take in the grand and majestic hallways he's in.

Heeseung nodded along. "Yeah, but didn't the email stated the purpose of the company dinner was to thank everyone for their hard work?"

You couldn't help but scoffed, looping your hands through both Heeseung and Beomgyu's arms as you dragged the two men to the designated room, with the guards letting you in.

"Alright gentlemen, let's not talk about work after hours. Let's just eat and enjoy the moment, shall we? Free food is food," you said.

One look around was enough to know whoever was in-charge of the decorations, they had gone over the top. The hall was breathtaking—high ceilings draped with cascading chandeliers that covered the entire room in a warm, golden glow. Floor-to-ceiling windows lined on one side, revealing the city skyline as it glittered like a sea of stars.

Round tables occupied the floor in pristine white linen with each centerpiece adorned with different kinds of fresh flowers and delicate glass ornaments that caught the light here and there. Along the far end was where your destination was, waiting for you—the long spread of food that seems to stretch almost endlessly.

It has everything—from gourmet canapes to full-course dishes plated like pieces of art. Soft classical music instrument played in the background from a live band, perfectly setting the mood and it was loud enough to fill the silence without countering the chatters. Everyone put on their best outfits for tonight's dinner—tailored suits, elegant dresses and polished shoes that clicked against the marbled, polished floor.

Laughter came here and there as people mingled among themselves, talking about everything and anything at the same time. Unlike the usual stiff, tense and fast-paced atmosphere everyone was used to, this was more softer, relaxed and lighter. It felt like a much-needed break to everyone, considering how hard they had worked.

"I don't think insane is enough to describe all of this," Beomgyu continued, grabbing a plate for himself as he greedily helped himself to the wide selection of food, filling his plate up in no time.

You snorted as you grabbed a plate for yourself, walking behind him with Heeseung behind you. "Told you so. Less thinking and more eating. We gotta eat our salaries' worth."

Heeseung laughed, the most relaxed as compared to the two of you as he grabbed some food here and there. "I swear, both of you are unbelievable."

Beomgyu was about to retort with something when a group of colleagues standing nearby shouted his name. He turned to them before back to you and Heeseung, looking conflicted, like he doesn't want to leave the two of you alone. You made the choice for him, shooing him away, like he's some sort of pest.

"Go on, we'll be fine. Just find us whenever you're done," you said.

Beomgyu dramatically gasped, placing his free hand over his chest. "You traitor!"

He exclaimed as he was being dragged towards the group of colleagues who had been eagerly waiting for him, excitedly slapping him on the back. You and Heeseung watched from the sidelines as he effortlessly fall into their conversation within seconds, blending in with them, like the true social butterfly he is.

Heeseung sighed, shaking his head while taking a bite of his food. "Poor guy. Let's hope he's still sober by the time it's over."

You let out a sudden, loud laugh, startling the people around you and slapped a hand over your mouth. "I don't know about that. I think he'd be gone before it ended."

At that, the two of you walked around the room while chatting with other people, exchanging small talks or catching up with colleagues from different departments. It's easy like this—allowing you to temporarily escaped from reality as you chatted about anything but work. It's the kind of conversations that comes naturally, without the weight you had been carrying for the past few days.

Eventually, Heeseung oh so kindly led you to one of the tables for you to sit down, take a breather and relaxed your legs. You practically heaved a sigh of relief the moment you sat down, leaning over to rub at your slightly swollen feet.

"Maybe it was a bad choice for me to wear heels," you complained, straightening yourself as you leaned back into the chair, holding your plate with your left finger while trying to finish the remains on your plate.

Your friend chuckled, diagonally sitting on your left with one leg crossed over the other. "You could've worn sneakers and no one would've bat an eye."

You gasped, shooting him an incredulous look. "That would ruin my outfit!" You gestured to yourself. Just like the other ladies, you were dressed in a dress that fits the guidelines of the company dinner.

It's a sleeveless black dress with the hem reaching just above your knees. The length itself is modest enough but the way it hugged your body in the right areas was enough to gather stares with some daring to look longer than usual. You may not have noticed it—the effect you have but the same doesn't apply to a certain someone.

Someone who had been watching you the entire time, right from the moment you stepped into the room. Sunghoon nearly dropped his glass of half drank white wine when you entered, feeling his breath leaving his lungs. His mind blanked out at how stunning you looked, easily drawing everyone's eyes onto your approaching figure, whether they knew it or not.

That's another thing Sunghoon loved about you—how you're able to capture the entire room's attention without lifting a finger. He watched with a tight jaw, hands nearly snapping the glass into half in his vice-like grip as you were deeply engrossed in a conversation with Heeseung. From where he stood, he was able to get a clear view of how you leaned in slightly to say something into the man's ear, followed by you laughing as you covered your mouth with your hand after he made a joke.

Seriously, is he really that funny?

Sunghoon sulked, downing the rest of the wine in one go, not even flinching when someone threw an arm around his shoulders. He didn't have to turn to know who it was, for there was only one person who dares to lay a hand on him.

"Damn, you're beyond whipped, lover boy. Stop glaring and do something already. Did you remember what I told you?" Jake snickered, earning a nasty, signature side eye from the pale man.

"I know, I tried to make up for it by starting small," he replied, recounting the small, little but precise moments that happened with you to Jake—how he drove you home, how he stood up for you and how he didn't raise his voice at you, point out your mistakes and the list goes on.

His friend whistled, impressed once he was done. "Damn, didn't know the Park Sunghoon is capable of putting in effort in something that's not related to work."

He groaned. "Jake."

"Right, my bad man. So, when are you gonna man up and talk to her?"

Sunghoon went silent, eyes automatically and unconsciously drifting towards you, watching as you were now telling Heeseung something while wildly flailing your arms about like a wild, frantic chicken as you were retelling what seemed to be a thrilling story, judging from the starry look in your eyes and how they were practically glowing.

When was the last time you looked at him like that?

Sunghoon sighed, robotically facing the front while swiping off another glass of white wine from a tray of a passing waiter. He swirled the glass, watching as the colorless liquid sloshed around before taking a slow, deliberate sip.

"…Not yet, Jake. I don't want to mess this up."

Jake rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. "Really? That sounds like an excuse than anything else. You know what it sounds like? It sounds like you're scared. And that you're a fucking coward."

"You've already said it before at the bar."

"Yeah, but it's clear nothing has changed. Which is why I'm repeating what I said before. Park Sunghoon, get your fucking shit together before you lose her. Forever. Once you're married, you can't go back anymore."

"I know that!" Sunghoon snapped. His sudden outburst drew the attention of the people around him but they didn't think twice, returning to their respective conversations.

"I know I'm a coward but what am I supposed to do, huh!? Tell me! How does one even tell someone he truly love and cherish with his entire heart that they are sorry for the things they have done and said? Do you know how painful it was for me to get through every day, when she's so fucking close but so far from me!?"

Jake's eyes widened, cursing under his breath as he looked around, to see more and more people were now looking in their direction.

"Uh Sunghoon, you might wanna lower do—"

"Do you have any idea how much I want to apologize to her, wishing I could turn back time, go back to the past where everything was fine, just like the way it used to be? How I didn't want any of these? How I didn't want anything else but just (Name) by my side? That's all that I care about!"

"Sun—"

"Then tell me, why the fuck am I still standing here doing nothing!?" His voice cracked at the end, louder than he intended—whether he knew it or not.

Silence.

"Sunghoon."

Your voice cut through everything, as sharp as a dagger but it's clear and unmistakably yours. His breath hitched in his throat, fully turning around and there you were, standing just a few feet away from him with an unreadable look on your face. He couldn't helped but wondered if this was how you felt while trying to decipher his feelings but the thought was kicked out of his mind when you approached him, closing the distance in no more than six large strides.

Your hand shot out, grabbed his wrist. The sudden contact made him flinched, startled and his eyes snapped down.

"Come with me."

It wasn't a request but rather, it was a demand—giving him a sense of deja vu. But Sunghoon didn't resist or say anything. He allowed himself to be pulled through the gathered crowd, turning a blind eye to the multiple, curious stares and the whispers following you like a shadow. Jake remained silent, watching from where he stood. He can only prayed that whatever happens next won't end up on the news.

◟‿୨୧‿◞

You didn't stop walking until you reached a secluded corner of the long hallway, until you were far enough that the noise from the dinner event was reduced to nothing but a distant hum. You came to a stop, dropping his hand and sharply turned to face him. Your chest rose and fall, the emotions you had buried for so long were clawing their way back to the surface, threatening to break free.

"Park Sunghoon, what the hell was that all about?" You demanded, your voice low but borderline shaking.

The man—your childhood friend didn't respond. He simply stared at you, like he hasn't seen you in years, like you were something he wasn't sure he was allowed to look at, like you were nothing more than a figment of his imagination. And that whatever was happening right now, is nothing more than a dream.

You clenched your fists, nails digging into your palms hard enough to leave indents behind. "I asked you a question. Answer. Me."

He swallowed. "…You weren't supposed to hear that."

You stared at him and let out a disbelief laugh, the sound wreck, sharp and fragile. "Oh, I'm sorry. Should I have covered my ears and let you yell your feelings out in the middle of a company dinner?"

"That's not—" He stopped himself mid-sentence, exhaling in frustration. "That's not what I meant."

"Then what is it? I don't know about you but it sounds pretty clear to me," you shot back, stepping closer now. Your eyes were glowing with flames of anger, like you're desperately trying to rip the truth out of him.

Silence.

It stretched until you were about to walk away when—

"I'm sorry."

The words were quiet, barely above a whisper. And yet, they hit you harder than any of his previous cold, ruthless words. You froze, heart nearly stopped beating in your chest when you heard it. You thought your ears were playing tricks on you and that you were mishearing things.

"…What?"

"I'm sorry. For everything," he repeated, his voice much steadier this time but it's still packed with the same amount of rawness.

You narrowed your eyes, your fight mode instinctively kicking in. It was one, last and final attempt to distance yourself before you dug a deeper grave for yourself.

"No. No, you don't get to do that now," you said, frantically shaking your head as you took a small step back.

"(Name), I know I don't deser—"

"Don't say my name or anything else. You don't get to just fucking stand there and say sorry like it fixes anything," you interrupted him.

"I know it doesn't fix anything."

"Then why not!? Why now, Sunghoon? After everything you've done. After the way you treated me, you suddenly what? Feel gulity? You think your pathetic apology can mend everything? Can it bring back the past!?"

Your voice cracked, leaving you to shriek and scream at the top of your lungs in the hallway. You no longer cared about maintaining professionalism, not when you're in front of the man who had seen you at your worst and best. Not in front of the man who you came to love with your entire soul, only for him to toss you aside, like you were nothing. Like you weren't worthy.

He flinched—such a small movement but you saw it.

"You're right, I apologize because I felt gulity," he admitted, his voice low and defeated.

Your breath caught.

"And because Jake's right. If I don't do something now, I'll lose you forever. And honestly? That fucking terrifies me," he continued, running a hand through his hair in frustration, messing it up in the process.

The pure, raw and unfiltered honesty made your heart skipped a beat and your breath stuttered in your throat. But you didn't let it show, refusing to show him the effect he still has on you, much to your disappointment.

"You didn't seem scared when you treated me like I meant nothing. Or when I was just another employee," you pointed out, each word deliberate, like you had taken great care to choose them out of the entire dictonary.

"I was a coward."

You blinked, not expecting the sudden confession. "Yeah, you are one. Why did you do that? Why did you pushed me away, looked at me like I'm nothing? Like I'm just another employee?"

The man lets out a shaky breath, the sound itself so painful and raw it made you want to step closer to hug him. But you held yourself back.

"I thought if I do that, you'd be able to find someone better. Someone who deserves your love, your smile, your kindness, your attention and everything about you. I.. I don't deserve you."

You let out a bitter, broken laugh as you felt something warm and salty stinging your eyes, blurring your vision slightly. Sunghoon faltered at the sight of your face and he stepped forward, slow and careful. When it's clear you're letting him move closer, he took another step, one move at a time.

"Who do you think you are?" You croaked out.

The man stilled, looking like a deer caught in headlights. "I—"

"No, shut up and listen. Who do you think you are, thinking that I don't deserve you? What makes you think that way, huh? Did God told you all of those and you decided to went along with it? Willingly? You don't get to make my choices on my behalf," you started, closing the distance to forcefully jab your finger into his chest as you hissed at him.

Sunghoon's expression broke. "(Name)—"

"You don't know what I've been through because of you. I couldn't stopped crying every night after work. I kept asking myself: just when did everything go wrong? Was I the one at fault? What can I do to make up for it? What can I do to make him look at me again, just like the way he used to? No matter how much I think, I couldn't think of anything! You left without telling me and came back, looking like a completely different person."

You paused, letting your words sink in before you continued.

"My friends told me to move on."

This time, it was his turn for his breath to stutter. "..What?"

You weakly nodded your head, tears now freely rolling down your cheeks. Sunghoon's hands twitched, tempted to reach out to wipe them away but he restrained himself. Not yet.

"They said I don't deserve you, that I deserve someone better."

He looked away, jaw tight and clenched. "They're right."

You made a sound of frustration, reaching out to grab his face, turning him so he can see you. "I don't care what anyone has to say! I've already made up my choice!"

"Your choice? Wait, you mean—"

"Yes! For fuck's sake, you're the only person I want! I don't want anyone else but you!" You exclaimed, heaving to catch your breath after you quite and literally, confessed your feelings in a hallway.

Sunghoon stared at you, lips parted, dumbfounded and rendered speechless. "I—You love me? For my personality?"

You rolled your eyes. "Ye—!"

You weren't given a chance to finish your sentence, barely getting the word out when he cut you off by crashing his lips against yours. Sunghoon expertly moved his hands—one hand supporting the back of your neck while the other pulled you in by your waist, until you're directly pressed chest-to-chest.

Your mind blanked out with you stilling in his arms, only for your eyelids to flutter shut as you returned the kiss, sighing into his mouth. He greedily swallowed the sound, shuddering when you wrapped your arms around his shoulders. The kiss was slow and languid, like you're trying to convey your true feelings to one another.

I'm sorry. I really am.

Thank you for choosing me.

Despite everything, it's still you. It will always be you.

I love you. I really do.

You ended up breaking the kiss but you didn't pull away completely, resting your forehead against his with your noses grazing against one another. You opened your eyes, to see he was already looking at you. Unlike before, when his gaze was cold, blank and emotionless, this was full of nothing but pure love and adoration. It's enough for your heart to soar, spreading its invisible wings.

"Really? Did you really mean what you say?" He murmured, eyes darting between your eyes and your parted lips.

You chuckled. "Yeah, I mean it. I love you, Sunghoon."

He groaned, the sound low and dangerous. Hearing it does something to you, making heat pooled in your stomach. You attempted to rub your thighs together but he was faster. Without wasting time, he carried you bridal-style in his arms. You squeaked, throwing your arms around him as he walked with purpose, heading to where the elevators are.

"What are you doing!? Put me down!" You hissed, looking around and thankfully, there wasn't anyone around to see you in such a humiliating state.

He paid you no mind, jamming his finger into the Up button. The lift in front of him opened and he wasted no time in entering. Sunghoon pressed one of the many floors of the hotel. He didn't even wait for the doors to close, already crowding you against the wall to kiss you again. His firm, tall and strong body easily held you upright as he steals your breath away.

"W-Wait-hngh-s-stop-hah," you wetly and openly panted against his mouth. Your hands rested on his chest, fingers straining as you tried to push him away but it's futile, with his strength completely overwhelming yours.

He blindly grabbed both of your hands and pinned them above your head with one hand, holding you in place. None of you cared that you're in an elevator, a semi-public place or how the camera was able to capture every heated moment shared by the two of you. Sunghoon sworn under his breath, his free hand sliding up your thigh, pushing your dress up in the process.

His touch made your skin warm, leaving nothing but a tingling sensation and goosebumps behind in his wake. You gasped into his mouth when he toyed with the hem of your nude stockings, tugging on the thin fabric before letting it go. The fabric snapped against your skin, causing you to jolt on the spot. You sworn you felt him smirked against your lips at your reaction.

Ding!

The elevator came to a stop and the doors opened. Fortunately for you, no one was standing on the other end or they would have gotten the jumpscare of their lives. The two of you tumbled out of the elevator in a mess of limbs, struggling to walk with Sunghoon leading the way. Although, it was easier said than done when he kept kissing you, like he couldn't get enough of how sweet and soft your lips taste.

Eventually, he broke the kiss with a feat of amazing self-restraint, pulling out what looked like a keycard to a room as he stopped before a door. You watched as he pressed the card against the door and a green light lit up. The moment the door was opened, you were yanked into the room, only to be shoved into the door, closing it in the process and he's on you again.

Unlike before, the kiss was more intense, frantic and desperate. His hands were everywhere—greedily touching you in places he wasn't allowed to. Just like before, Sunghoon pushed your black dress up, revealing the stockings you worn underneath it. He boldly cupped you through your underwear, chuckling into your mouth at how you're already wet.

"Look at you, already dripping for me. All from what? Just a kiss? It's all for me, isn't it?"

He hummed, lightly pressing his thumb down on your cunt through the fabric, savoring the choked out whine you let out at the light, fleeting contact. You canted your hips forward, craving more friction but to your utter frustration, he dropped his hand. He pried your lips apart with his skillful tongue, exploring every inch of your warm mouth, ensuring nothing was left untouched.

Your legs buckled, threatening to give way when he gave a harsh suck on your tongue, the sound seemingly loud and lewd in the quiet hotel room. It made your ears turned red. Sunghoon easily lifted you up, maneuvering you to the bed. He placed you down on the pristine white, soft linen sheets with utter care and gentlness that it made your heart stuttered.

You whined, blindly tugging on the blazer of his suit as he hovered over you, careful to not crush you with his weight.

"Off. Take it off," you pleaded.

He chuckled. "Since you asked so nicely."

He withdrew from you, long and slender fingers making quick work of the buttons of his blazer. You pushed yourself up, aiding him in it while ignoring how your hands were borderline trembling. Thankfully, he didn't comment on it. Once the final button was unbuttoned, Sunghoon carelessly chucked it aside. He unknot the tie, ready to throw it to the floor when he paused, an invisible lightbulb going off in his mind.

"Mind if I try something?" He asked, holding the now long, black fabric in his left hand.

You nodded, granting him permission. He scooted closer, grabbed your wrists, telling you to hold them together and you obeyed. Your breath caught when he tied the black fabric around your wrists, binding them together. Once he's done, he observed your face, trying to search for any signs of discomfort.

"Is it too tight?" He questioned, genuinely concerned.

"No, it's perfect."

He nodded. "Let me know if anything hurts, alright? Green's to continue and red's to stop."

"Got it."

The moment those words left your mouth, the switch was instant. His eyes darkened a shade as he pushed you back until you were lying flat on your back. You watched, unable to look away as he unbuttoned the buttons of his white dress shirt at a slow, teasing pace. You squirmed about on the sheets. Now that your wrists were tied together, you couldn't do anything, only able to helplessly watched while you're dripping nonstop.

Sunghoon chuckled, the sound low, mean and degrading at how your reactions. "Aw, what's wrong, princess? Need something?"

You let out a pathetic keen—barely able to recognize your own voice. "P-Please."

"Please what? C'mon, use your words and tell me, baby. I'm not a mind reader," he drawled, finally unbuttoning the last button and shedded the dress shirt, leaving him shirtless.

Your eyes moved, shamelessly oogling him in all of his glory, drinking in his toned chest and the very solid abs he got—results from his hard work at the gym. Sunghoon caught you eye-fucking him. Of course he did. He didn't say anything but the way he smirked was enough. He made quick work of the rest of his pants and boxers, leaving him completely bare while you were still fully clothed, unable to lay your hands on him.

You instinctively looked down, nervously swallowing when you saw his cock. And wow, it's huge. You never knew your childhood friend can be packing down there, hiding and growing a third leg but you can only assumed puberty must have hit him like a truck. The mushroomy tip had already turned a ferocious shade of red due to the lack of attention and neglection. Heck, there was even a bead of precum on the tip that glistened under the dim lights.

You attempted to close your legs but Sunghoon moved. His large hands grabbed both of your thighs, his fingers touching as he held you down, forcing you to spread and present yourself before him. Even though you still have your clothes on, you couldn't helped but feel small under his intense, unwavering gaze.

"P-Please touch me," you whimpered and who was he to deny you?

Sunghoon groaned, wasting no time in removing your clothes from your body, tossing all of them to the floor—ending up in the same fate as his own clothes. Although, the same couldn't be applied to your stockings as he ripped them into shreds instead, too impatient to roll them off your legs. Now that you were completely bare, he had to pause to drink in the sight, almost wishing he can imprint this gorgeous scene into his mind.

Your lipstick was already smudged and nearly wiped off due to the intense make-out session you had. Your hair was spread out like a halo on the pillow, making you looked like an angel. Your lips was swollen and bruised, eyes dazed and slightly glossy as you stared at him, wanting him to do something already.

"Fuck, you're so gorgeous. I can't believe you're mine now," he breathed out, sounding in awe and somehow, that made your breath caught.

He didn't give you time to recover, shifting down until he's on his stomach and dived in. Sunghoon started with a flat stripe up your dripping, aching cunt. The first contact has your mind spinning, nearly making you see the white pearly gates of heaven. You cried out, the sound raw and was ripped from the depth of your throat.

He licked you open with his tongue. Each swipe was slow, deliberate and full of purpose. Your thighs trembled in his grip as you jerked your hips forward, pushing yourself into his mouth. He groaned in appreciation, face buried deep in your leaking pussy. The vibration traveled through your body, drawing a loud and shameless moan from you.

He continued working you open, eventually pushing his tongue inside you. The sudden intrustion of the wet, slimey and slippery muscle made stars explode in your vision. Your back arched off the back, creating an amazing arch that could put even the crescent moon to shame. Your tied wrists were hanging over your head, leaving you helpless and vulnerable to his assault.

"Oh fuck. Hngh, d-don't stop-" You moaned, eyes rolling to the back of your head when he slides two of his long, slender fingers in, moving them in a scissors-like motion, spreading you open and preparing you for what's to come.

"Shit, you taste divine, baby. Could stay here forever and eat this pussy for every meal. Forget food when I can have a five-stars meal here," he growled, his voice vibrating through you.

You've never heard him like this—all pent-up as he gets drunk on your slick, sounds and body. The thought of that was enough to make you rocked your hips against his mouth and Sunghoon lets you do it, letting you ride his tongue. He continued to finger you while fucking you with his tongue.

The double pentration drew a series of angelic, sinful sounds from you. Sounds that you never thought you were capable of making. You can feel your climax coming, with how the pressure kept building as it coiled tighter and tighter in your stomach, like a rubberband being stretched to its limit—

Only for him to pull out, both fingers and tongue.

"Wha—"

"Can't have you cumming on my fingers and mouth. I'd rather have you cum on my cock instead."

Maybe it's the way he said it without hesitation. Maybe it's how firm he is, knowing the effect he has on you. Maybe it's the determined and desired look in his eyes. Whatever it was, it drew an soft, involuntary and needy whine from you. Sunghoon situated himself in between your legs. He aligned himself against your entrance and slowly pushes in.

You felt his mushroomy tip breaching past your folds, sinking deeper and deeper until he eventually bottomed out, buried to the hilt. Your mouth dropped open, forming an "O" shape. You felt impossibly full, like you were being split apart on his cock. Heck, you sworn you could feel him hitting the back of your throat, with how deep he is inside you.

Sunghoon fisted the sheets, twisting them between his fingers while resisting the tempting urge to just pound you six ways into heaven. He doesn't want you to feel uncomfortable and gods, if anything happen to you, he wouldn't know how to continue living after that.

"C-Can't-" You choked out, your pussy being stretched obscenly wide to accomdate to the huge grith of his cock.

He was quick to reassure you. "Shh, it's okay, princess. Just take a deep breath for me, alright? And then breathe out."

You copied him, managing to calm down. Sunghoon took that as his cue to move, pulling out until only the tip was still inside you before sheathing himself back in.

"Fuck!"

You moaned, wrists evidently straining against the temporary bondage as he repeats the movement, setting an even pace. He thrusted into you whole holding himself upright with just his hands. Sunghoon gritted his teeth at how you kept sucking him in, how there was close to no resistance at every thrust.

The hotel room was filled with the lewd, obscene sounds of skin slapping against skin, his balls slapping against your inner thighs along with your pleasured moans that gradually get higher and higher. Until he had to duck his head, muffling it by kissing you while swallowing it down his own throat, treating it like an offering from the Gods themselves.

With your lips still interlocked, Sunghoon slung your legs around his waist as he bends you forward, putting you in a mating press. The new position allowed him to hit deeper. You sworn you can feel his tip constantly kissing the entrance to your womb. You couldn't keep up with the kiss, simply moaning and babbling incoherent words that sounded a lot like "more", "please" and "Sunghoon".

Whatever it was, it seemed to do the trick on him. Your bodies were covered in a layer of sweat with salty droplets rolling down his back. Some even landed on the sheets as they trickled down his face. He glanced down, his thrusts faltering mid-motion when he saw a bump on your stomach. A bump made by him, due to how big he is.

He moved his left hand and pressed down on it.

His action elicited a high-pitched keen from you which to him, it was the most delicious sound he has ever heard from you. Sunghoon's mind spins, starting to spiral as he began to wonder: how will you look when you carry his children in the future? How will you treat them?

The thoughts kept flooding his mind and with the newfound vigor, he ruthlessly pounded into you like a madman. You whimpered at the sudden change of speed, body going limp against the sheets as you struggled.

"Gonna make you carry my kids. Pump this pretty little pussy full of my cum," he snarled, seemingly lost in his own world and thoughts.

You moaned, instinctively clenching down on him at his words. Sunghoon cursed, hand snaking down to rub at your clit, timing it with his thrust.

"Yeah? You'd like that, don't you? Walking around in the office with everyone not knowing you're carrying my children," he cooed, voice lowering an octave.

You frantically nodded your head, too far gone and intoxicated on the feeling of his cock constantly hitting that one spongy spot hidden between your gummy walls.

"Mhm! Please, m-more-hah."

Sunghoon continued fucking into you at a faster pace, if that was even possible. The bed creaked at every movement with the bedframe slamming against the wall. He knows he'll be getting a complaint from the hotel staff tomorrow but that's for future him to handle. Now, he has a more important issue to settle. The issue that comes in the form of impregnating you.

It took a few more long and timed thrusts for you to feel your climax reaching.

"G-Gonna cum-pleasepleaseplease," you babbled, too cockdrunk to think straight.

Sunghoon took pity on you. "Yeah? You wanna cum, pretty girl? Then cum for me."

He delivered one final thrust, burying himself to the hilt and you cum while chanting his name like a sacred prayer. Your walls violently convulsed around him, milking him dry as body-length shudders traveled through your body. Sunghoon was quick to follow suit. He spilled thick and hot cum inside you, painting your gummy walls in the shade of his cum.

You grimanced at the uncomfortable feeling of being pumped full, able to feel how bloated your stomach felt afterwards. Sunghoon didn't pull out. Instead, he collapsed onto you with an "oof" and you made a disgusted sound, reaching out to weakly smacked the back of his head.

"Ow!"

"Get off of me. You're gonna crush me to death," you retorted.

Sunghoon rolled his eyes but obliged. He pulled out first, drawing a hiss from you and he laid beside you. None of you said a word, laying on the same bed, bodies covered in sweat and body fluids as you stared at the ceiling, trying to catch your breath. You ended up breaking the silence, wanting to address the invisible elephant in the room.

"…So, what does this make us now?" You asked, not daring to look at him.

"What do you want us to be?" He countered.

"You're not supposed to answer my question with your own," you retorted.

He chuckled, reaching out to place his hand above yours. When you didn't push him away, he took that as a green light to intertwine your fingers together.

"I'd like us to be partners. Romantically."

You snorted. "No one says that, Hoon. It's actually boyfriend and girlfriend."

He furrowed his signature, thick eyebrows. "What's the difference? They still mean the same."

You let out a long, heavy sigh. "Never mind, forget it. But sure, let's be partners. Romantically."

Sunghoon narrowed his eyes at you. "..You're mocking me, aren't you?"

You gave him an innocent look but the glimmer of mischief in your eyes said otherwise. "Me? I would never!"

He didn't budge an inch before pounching on you, fingers ruthlessly tickling your sides without a care in the world. You squealed, trying to push him away and shielding yourself but your efforts was futile. You can only make yourself small while he continued, your laughter and pleas of mercy bounces among the four walls of the room.

"S-Stop-pft-m-mercy-HAHAHA!" You exclaimed, gasping and heaving for breath with tears prickling your eyes.

Sunghoon stopped his tickling attack, only for him to lean forward with his hands now on both sides of your head, caging you against the bed. You stilled, locking eyes with him. He swallowed, eyes flicking down to your lips.

"There's something I need to tell you," he started.

"Well, that doesn't sound good," you teased—a poor attempt to lighten the atompshere."

He didn't react to your words.

"It's about the marriage the articles posted. I want you to know it's not real," he continued. Your heart dropped when you heard that. But despite it all, a part of you felt relieved.

"Oh."

He nodded, eyes searching for something in you. "Yeah, the marriage was set up by both of our families. They believed it's beneficial to both parties if the marriage goes through, in terms of business wise. My father also wants to use it to tie me down, so I won't do it again."

You frowned. "Do what?"

Sunghoon sighed, lowering his head before lifting them up again. "…The reason why I left without telling you was because I didn't know how to. The Parks—my family, is a line of business people. But I'm not like them. I wasn't interested in business. I was interested in law and that's something my parents refused to accept or acknowledge. No matter how hard they kept teaching me, I refused to accept it. It was torture, trying to learn something you didn't want to learn."

Your heart shattered at how small his voice became. You wordlessly reached out, cupped his face with your hands and he leaned into your touch, eyes fluttering shut.

"So I decided to risk it all, book a plane ticket to Australia and enrol myself in one of the law schools there. I didn't know how to tell you. It was out of a sudden. My brother found out about it and he supports me. My father, on the other hand, harshly rejected the idea. We fought before I left and he told me he'd let me go but in the future, whatever major decisions regarding my life is in his hands now."

Your eyes widened. "..And one of it was the marriage. It's to bind you to the Parks."

He glumly nodded.

"Oh, Hoon…" You sighed, craning your neck up to brush your lips against his in an almost-like kiss. He shivered at how heavenly the nickname sounds from you. The very same nickname he kept close to his heart since young.

"Your father's an asshole. It's your life, whether he likes it or not. He doesn't have a say in what you want to do," you continued.

"I know, which is why I'd be telling him to cancel the marriage tomorrow," he replied, determined.

You paused. "Uh, are you sure that's even possible? What about that fiance of yours? Will she be mad and upset?"

"Huh? No, why would she? She's just like me. Both of us didn't want the marriage in the first place," he pointed out.

"…Oh, okay," you mumbled, face turning as red as a tomato as you looked away.

It took him a few seconds to realize why and when he did connect the dots, he smirked teasingly. "Don't tell me you were jealous."

"I'm not!" You defended yourself, replying without hesitation.

"Mhm, sure. And I'm the president of Seoul," he answered with sarcasm seeping into his voice.

You shot him an annoyed glare, ready to shove him off the bed when he stopped you, grabbing both of your hands, causing you to stop.

"I love you," he confessed.

The words were raw and it's a deadly combination with the utmost sincerity in his voice. So deadly that it made you teared up. Seeing this, Sunghoon's features softened. He ducked his head so he can pressed his forehead against yours.

"Jeez, I guess you're still a crybaby huh," he teased.

"Yeah, but I'm your crybaby now," you fired back, voice cracking at the end.

Sunghoon blinked once. Twice before a wide smile stretched across his face from ear to ear.

You knew this would happen. You knew it would, yet you let the chaos unfold. Engage in the slow-moving crash you had no brakes for, and you're entirely to blame. 

A weekend away, surrounded by a mix of yours and Riki's friends, shedding everyday melancholy and retreating to a rented mansion built by the hands of luxury, high ceilings and polished floors, severely out your price range but better as a pooled splurge. After all, it's been so long since you've all been together ─ meat and vegetables on the grill, wine bottles littering the dining table on the balcony you sit on, laughing with no troubles. It's everything your heart's longed for, adoring eyes given to everyone around you despite the antics of your boyfriend, his cheeks flushed with the throaty hiccup of his laughter, using any chance he gets to annoy you. 

You reprimanded him, of course. But it's water off his back, cooed over by your friends who say you'll bicker all the same into old age together. Timidity flames beneath your cheeks, not helped by the warmth of alcohol coursing through your body, making you antsy, itch out your skin as your foot taps to the speaker's music. You could do with some water, jugs of it cleared at the table. Perhaps a salty snack too, excusing yourself from the table with a hand on your friend's shoulder before your chair drags, your figure stumbling to its stand. 

"Sure you'll manage?" Riki teases, forehead creased with the mirth rife in his smirk. "Bit unstable there." 

"I'm just fine," you firm, the joking drop of his jaw earning him a stuck-out tongue, childish on your behalf but you're too tipsy to care. Those around you laughing along as you amble back into the house, pushing back sliding doors and peeking through drawn curtains, pattering into the kitchen with all its lights on. 

You're only alone with your thoughts for so long before the door slides open, music filtering through. It's a song queued by Riki, no doubt in your mind as the heavy bass thumps, raunchy lyrics meant for Tiktok thirst traps and edits blaring. Your eyes roll, bending over to look in the low cupboards for your beloved snack amongst cabinet groceries. Something salty, something to bite into. 

And of course, who is your boyfriend if not a menace?

He's come up behind you, dancing his way to his destination during the inattention you paid him, pausing in the cast of your shadow. The sliding doors are closed, curtains drawn, but you can still hear some semblance of the ongoing song, lyrics murmured about making someone come and Riki just─

His large hands fall to your hips, fake banging you as he raps along, laughing because he's sick and twisted. Laughing at the shock jolting you in his hold, how your body stumbles a touch forwards because he's not all that stable either and accidentally bumps into you, hands grappling the countertop so it doesn't barrel into your forehead.

"Riki." Your voice carries a warning, not the least bit amused. 

"Whaaat?" he drags the vowel, continuing to fake bang you from behind. Still laughing. "No one's around."

"That's besides the─" he bumps into you again, sending you into a brace. Your throat bobs, eyebrows drawn. "─the point." 

Your curt tone is nothing but a source of amusement to him, his chuckle light and taunting as his hands firm on the curve of your waist, bumping into you again.

"You're just embarrassed because you love it," he reasons, doomed with that stupid chuckle of this. "Can't get angry at me when you're worse on wine."

True. An unnecessary truth. Because with wine-blurred googles on, your brain makes the trek to its memory, flashes of moments when the same taste lingered on your tongue, your tear eyes and desperate pleas taking up the majority as you'd been folded every way you begged for. 

God.

"Hm? Did I make you remember something?" Riki's on a mission to annoy you, his hips ceasing but presence there ─ hovering for you like bait. A dangled carrot your hips have no shame in chasing, hinged backwards as the flesh of your ass falls back on his bulge, indulging. "You're cute when you're like this…"

His words pause, ears peaking in anticipation as your eyes flutter closed, grip adjusting against the countertop's edge as your bottom lip folds in a mess of teeth. Molten lava swirls in the pits of your stomach at the clothed press, gashing away at the little self-restraint you wish you had. 

"Cockdrunk."

The word hits you like a tonne of bricks, back an inch straightened as shame makes itself known, in the dirty mix of your belly even so while your eyes blink fiercely, head turning to the sliding doors just metres away. 

"Riki."

"Say the word and I'll pull your panties aside," he's doing it again. Fake banging you, which should irritate you, your body jutting forwards with the real force he puts into his motions, except─ "Ease the ache you're trying to hide,"

"Bet you're wet too," he notes, your head needing not to turn to know the shit-eating grin marking his face, one hand deserting your hips as it slithers undettered beneath the frill of your skirt to where he gets his answer. "Shit,"

"Please,"

Something's wrong with you. Something must be wrong with you, the wine doing all the talking because you're yielding. Relenting to something only the dark corners of your mind can conjure, hips seeking his as you sink into the feel of him, half hard with fingertips ghosting over your panty-clad cunt.

"Fuck you?" he has the audacity in questioning. "Oh, you'll have to ask me nicely. None of this rubbing shit against me," 

He stalls your hips mid-hinge, a frustrated whine an auto-response as your head starts to spin, swimming in an abyss of nothing but filth. 

"Riki," you hate how brittle your voice sounds, so desperate to be pleased. "Come on, please? I can't─I need it."

"Need what?" his favourite pastime is taunting you, ever so evident as his fingertip dips into the hollow of your entrance, closing around the vacant spot he's quick to desert. "At this point, fake banging you might just get you off. I know you're all teary eyed too ─ poor baby." 

"Let's check," his hand comes to your jaw, the hand where you wanted him most leaving and craning your neck to put your face in view, a sad and frustrated gloss sparkling your eyes. "Crying from two places, you poor thing,"

If he has pity for you, it's without substance, his hand back under your skirt as your expression sours, head hung as you catch a glimpse of his ghosting hand. "You know you've soaked through these already, right?" 

"Were you sat there with all our friends, crossing your legs, reprimanding me because you were so pent up?" he questions, reading you like an open book. His finger trails down the spine of your book as his middle finger pushes in your entrance again, teasing you to no end. "I wouldn't be surprised if you leaked onto your seat." 

"Put it in," is your sharp remark, wavering under the buckle of need rushing through. "This isn't funny."

"It is a little. Watching you squirm," you hear his smirk, another bump against you done as a prompt. "Say please."

"Please."

It comes out quick. Unhurried, breaking the half-hearted facade you'd constructed for yourself, his finger pushed deep enough for a soft squelch to sound, licked off his fingers in a smack that scatters goosebumps across your heating skin. "Fuck,"

"Bend over." 

You're already bent, on show for anyone who could stumble upon the sight, but you know Riki. Knows how he likes you, how you'll comply to his wishes to a tea as the arch in your back deepens, its bow rewarded by his satisfactory chest-born hum. He doesn't pull your panties to the side, a knack for putting you beneath him as he tugs them down to bunch around your knees coming together, relinquishing the pressure-built over his teasing, worsened by the sound of ruffling clothes, the clink of his undoing belt swarming your head with deep lust.

With your skirt bunched up, he lifts the material higher, your entire ass on show to bring out a sheepish yelp, chilled air meeting hair-standing skin as his buckle and unzipped trousers graze the back of your thighs. His tip slides from beneath, catching onto your entrance to paint it in the precome it beads with, sliding further up to knock against your clit, Riki getting his kick out of watching you squirm once again. 

"I'm putting it in," he warns like he needs to, smirk hanging on the end of his words. "Any last words?"

"Stop messing arou─" 

Syllables are left to die on your tongue, falling into the back of your throat as it clogs with a shaken inhale. It's immense ─ the feeling your body's hotwired for, the stretch of him pushing through to walls that can't help give him a warm welcome, folding and moulding to ridges and veins as he does a torturously slow slide into you. Your jaw pops with its unhinge, too lost for words and thankful your arms are already placed on the countertop, elbows digging with your sinking weight as nails pierce into your palm, fist coming together with a white-knuckle hue. 

He doesn't stop until he's at the hilt, so snug where he resides, at least allowing you a moment to catch your breath. Above you, you hear him stifle a moan, a racked whimper gritted out in a broken groan, only amplifying the dangerous swirl in your stomach. Your walls flutter at the sound, an invitation to proceed that he takes, momentarily stopped because he knows he's abrasive like this ─ too much to handle, but you love it anyways, skin sweat-veiled and humming for what awaits as Riki drags himself back by inches, pulling out until only his tip's left in you. 

Your skirt's bunched up even more, your whole lower back on show. A hand once used to line himself into you comes to the plush of your ass, kneading the flesh to spread you further, Riki sinking in soon after with a groan only described as animalistic. 

"You have no idea how good you look right now," he grits out, voice gravel in your ears as he starts off with slow strokes, accustoming you to the stretch of his cock, feeding off the prolonged squelches that come with it. "Is this all for me, baby?"

You're a slave to your own pleasure, soft gasp rasped in your throat having gone dry, saliva gulped down in a mewl as he fills you over and over again, not in the way that scratches your desperate itch but enough to melt you into putty.

"God, you sound so needy," he moans, rings welding into your skin with the heft of his grip, hips picking up speed to your detriment. "Gripping me so tight. God, I just have my hands full with you, don't I?" 

"Riki," you whine helplessly, left with nothing but the echo of your smacked skin together in the lulls of your voice. 

"I never get tired of watching my cock go in and out of you," he voices, memorised. Eyes trained on where you meet, your own hips falling back to his pelvis, too eager for decorum. "Baby, I'm not going anywhere. Give me a little breathing room," 

"Is it because you can't wait or," he chuckles, leaning over to hover his lips over your ear. "Am I too big for you?" 

His chuckle haunts you, warm wind blown past your flushed ears as he purposely knocks harder into you, impaling wails out of you as you simply take what he gives ─ bent over a sparkling kitchen counter, panties of shame hung at your knees while your tongue's lolled out like you're in heat.

If anyone could see you right now…the shame would ruin you. 

"Ah, ah ─ needy, needy thing," Riki makes a mockery of your moans, something that ticks in your brain, walls doing a vice grip on his cock. "Taking all of me because you're too cockdrunk to think otherwise. Feels good, princess?"

"So good, oh my─" the words are sloshed in your mouth, weighted down by your tongue that feels too big for its container, eyes glazed over and unfocused. "Don't stop. Please?"

"I won't, princess," he has the heart to confirm, too far gone in his own lust as he pistons into you, just as needy. "Even if someone comes in, I'll keep going. Give you what you really want." 

The moment is marked by something you'd rather forget, of course brought to light by your dearest boyfriend. 

"Did you just clench?" he huffs, incredulous."Oh baby, you tell on yourself so bad. It's cute." 

His chest falls over your back again in what's meant to be an embrace, quickly souring as his wrapped arms stumble upon something. An open secret he voices regardless. 

"Oh?" his arms unwind, one hand on your hip and the other splayed over your lower stomach, the faint outline of his cock pressing against his palm. "I can feel myself here. Is that why you're so incoherent?"

"Because you're stuffed full?"

Nails scrape into the marble countertops, hard enough to break off with how delirious you feel, your brain a hot pile of melting mush between your ears as you get drunk off Riki's words, panting as if already exhausted. 

A firm palm presses into the small of your back, your arch emphasized with the cold graze of his chunky bracelets, whimper clawed back as your hand slaps against your mouth, the angle he's moulded you into hitting deepest. Moisture threatens to clump your lashes together, lust conjuring a storm in the stomach he's actively trying to rearrange, hands bruising against skin as smacked skin sounds, urgent and echoed by the slick between your legs.

Your eyes roll to the back of your head, limbs dreadfully unstable. 

"You're holding back," he grunts behind you, his tone a lick of sinister work. Amused, always so fucking amused. "Keeping all your pretty moans to yourself. You know I'll fuck them out of you, right?"

"Let all our friends hear how good you're at taking cock," he insists, making a point of bringing your hips harder into his, smacked skin deafening in your ringing ears. "That what you want? Them knowing how dirty you are?"

It's too much and not enough. You always get like this, so docile, so lost in your desires and the sensations of it all that the brink of release is nothing but a short distance away, fogged over by your clouded thoughts but undeniably there. The pleasured stretch of his cock bullying into you, his hand accented with cold rings firmed against your lower stomach, the ecstasy pumping rife through your blood, rendering you the mess you're quickly crumbling to.

"W-wait, I'm gonna─"

"Don't tell me you're coming," A huffed chuckle sounds behind you, the hand he has on your shoulder pushing your hair off it, down to your back with his fingers left on your accelerated pulse. "Wine makes you so easy, baby. Haven't even touched your clit."

It detaches. His hand on a mission under your body, meant to destroy you from within. "Lemme─"

"Where'd they go?" 

A pin drops. Silence, and painstaking horror. Enough fear to drain the rushing blood in you, body a mannequin as you're frozen in place.

The glass doors leading to the kitchen push further, wind blowing in, meat still sizzling on the grill as the voice speaks again.

"She went to grab some snacks but," Sunoo seemingly deflates, a presumably pout on his lips as hands smack down at his sides. "Riki just left."

"He's probably terrorising her," Jake reasons, laughing as he does. They're venturing further into the kitchen, right where you once were. "He loves to get under her skin."

Hidden behind a nearby wall, your head burrows into the hard surface, tears smudging into the clean paint coat as your body curls into itself, an attempt to make yourself as small and unseen as possible.

Riki had manhandled you, circled arms around your middle, plucking you off your useless feet only meant to dangle as he'd retreated behind the wall. His cock was in you the entire time, burrowed too deep to leave, and with each knock into your sweet spot, paralysed by incoming company and his steps, you'd been a goner. 

An absolute goner. 

"He's right," a dark whisper crawls in your ear, lips brushed against the shell of your ear. You shiver violently. "Little does he know…"

"Should we save her?" Sunoo asks, still loitering in the kitchen, cupboards creaking as they open. 

"Nah, let them be," Jake thankfully responds, a cabinet door shutting in his wake. "They'll come back soon enough. I need another drink,"

"I'll get one, I guess…"

"Sure you can handle another?" Jake teases, mirth rife in his teased words. "You said you get 'weird' when you're drunk,"

"Shut up! That was one time!" Sunoo yells, voice carrying as they venture back outside, sliding doors closing with a resounding click. 

The house is eerily quiet, murmurs of outside noise blocked off, making inside noise all the more stark. Your shaken pants, the ruffle of grated clothing, Riki's cock doing a slow plunge back into your slick-lined walls, only removed to his tip and pushed back in to hear you squeal. 

"This excites you?" he teases, voice a dark husk only submerging you further. "Almost getting caught? You're clenching around me so hard,"

He's close again, not deterred by the bow of your back as his chest presses into you, teeth grazed over in a bite he sinks into at the bottom of your earlobe, a pained whimper dragging your nails into drywall. 

"Or is it because you want me to breed you?" he asks, a rhetorical question nonetheless. Because you both know the answer, how ever much you wish to deny it. "It's okay, I know how you like your hole stuffed." 

A dial's turned, to the max where there's no return, shameless in the thrusts you're nearly punished by, Riki fully knocking you into the wall you're sobbing into, your lips pleading for mercy to wash over you. 

"I'll give you a nice load, send you back out with these stupid soaked panties on," he grunts, the palm of his hand on the back of your head, pushing you into the wall for leverage as he bruises you from within. "Good luck not messing the place. I'm backed up," 

You break. Shatter in premeditated pieces because your fuzzy mind can't handle anything, delicate to the touch as miraged images infiltrate. The indecency of his words, the shame coming with them ─ questioning looks, raised eyebrows, thoughts kept to your friends when they've discovered how unkept you are ─ the feeling. The unadulterated pleasure taking over your entire being, submerged in everything Riki gives you to where, you have no choice but to shake. 

"Ah, there you go. There's my baby," he coos, the howl of laughter following after his condescending words. "Just watch you shake. You're so close, aren't you?" 

You nod into drywall, tears staining your flamed cheeks.

"Poor thing, it's okay. You should come," he encourages, taking false pity that only unravels you more. His bracelets jangle, fevered fingertips having collected slick and rubbing against your clit, the pull and push of his cock ontop of the sensation too much to bare. "Come and I'll give you all mine. Come on, pretty girl. Let Riki know how good you feel," 

You detonate. Timer on its last digits, pushed over by words you'll think of long afterwards, back of your hand inched up the wall for your lips to magnetise to, a loud shriek in no way muffled before teeth hinge into skin, eyes squeezed shut with cascading tears as you orgasm. You're not yourself, hollowed out and entirely separate from the body existing in a parallel universe, soul free-floating out its case as it lays witness to the convulsions you're condemned to, a prisoner to your release as it racks through you with devastating destruction. 

Falling apart right before him, Riki groans. Hungry and needy, his teeth bury into the flesh of your quivering shoulder as his hips pistons a few more times, half-hearted strokes with his last strain used to knock right up into you, your body forced to the tips of your toes in a high squeal. Hot come coats your walls, like he'd cornered you for wanting and the warmth blends with the hot mess you feel, a malleable puddle slumping against the wall Riki pins you against, arms bracketing your head. 

Time passes on, the gathering outside still ongoing with hearty laughs and thumping music, and you're here. The laboured cycle of your breath, the sweat lining your skin cooling as you regain a normal pace of breath, fingertips digging into the wall for stability meanwhile your body's already pinned, Riki a hot brand on your back as his tongue darts out, licking a stripe of salt off the column of your neck, to which he groans. 

"We're fucking on the bed next," he mumbles into your skin, smile pressed into it as your head swivels, eyes wide in alarm. "Didn't get to see your pretty face enough when you came." 

Fuck wine. You're burning every vineyard and dispensary to the ground.

After you've had your fill. 

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spidey!jake 𖢥 m.list

Tonight was different though.

You'd pinned his wrists above his head before he even realized what was happening, looping the silk tie around the bars of the headboard with a practiced knot. Jake didn't fight it. His lips parted, his chest heaving, and when you sat back on his thighs and admired your work, he swallowed hard, Adam's apple bobbing. He looked up at you with those wide, desperate brown eyes, pupils blown so dark the iris was nearly gone, and he whispered, "Yes. Please. Whatever you want."

You were wearing nothing but Jake's oversized band t-shirt, the faded cotton hanging off one shoulder, the hem riding up your thighs as you straddled him. You hadn't even taken your panties off yet, just rolled them to the side when you sank down onto him, and the fabric of the shirt brushed against his bare stomach every time you moved forward. His cock was buried to the hilt inside you, thick and impossibly hard, and you could feel every ridge, every vein, every inch of him stretching you open in the most obscene way.

"Mmgh—faster, baby. Ride me until I—ah—forget your name," he moaned out, his eyes rolling back, his cock twitching deep inside you.

You rolled your hips slowly at first, deliberately, dragging your wet heat along his length and feeling him pulse against your walls. The sound was filthy, wet, slick, and unmistakable, your arousal coating him so thoroughly that every movement made a shameless, squelching noise that echoed through the bedroom. His hips jerked up involuntarily, seeking more friction, and you pressed his hips down with one firm hand on his lower stomach.

"Ah-ah. Stay still. I said I'm setting the pace tonight, remember?" you scolded gently, and Jake whimpered, actual tears forming at the corners of his eyes from the effort of holding himself back. A bead of sweat rolled down his temple and soaked into the pillow beneath his head. His bangs were already damp, sticking to his forehead in messy clusters.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'll be good, I'll be so good for you," he panted, his fingers flexing uselessly against the silk restraint, not pulling to escape but gripping onto it like a lifeline, anchoring himself because he didn't trust his own body not to buck up into you again.

"God—baby, you feel so warm, so tight—fuck, you're so—ah—hot," he whined out, his voice cracking on the last word.

You rewarded him by picking up the pace, lifting your hips and dropping them back down in a rhythm that made the mattress creak beneath you. The sound of your skin slapping against his grew louder, sharper, punctuating every thrust like a filthy metronome. His thighs flexed beneath you, the muscles in his stomach tensing and releasing every time your body met his, and you could see the glistening sheen of sweat beginning to form across his chest and collarbones.

You leaned down to give him a passionate kiss, moaning into his mouth, swallowing the desperate little sounds he was making. He kissed you back like a drowning man, sloppy and hungry, his tongue sliding against yours with no coordination whatsoever, just pure need. When you pulled away, a string of saliva connected your lips for a brief second before breaking, and Jake chased your mouth, craning his neck up for more.

"Harder, mama, that's it right there. Faster—please," he groaned out, his head falling back into the pillows and his teeth biting down on his bottom lip hard enough to leave an indent. His chest was heaving, ribs visible with every ragged breath, and the sound of your bodies colliding was getting wetter, louder, nastier with every passing second.

"Shh, be a good boy for me and just feel it, okay? You're doing so well, baby," you cooed, bouncing on his cock faster, your hands trailing up the shirt you were wearing so he could see them, fingers walking up your own stomach slowly, pushing the fabric higher, giving him a glimpse of skin beneath.

Jake's eyes locked onto the hem of the shirt like it was the most mesmerizing thing he'd ever seen. He watched the fabric ride up with every bounce, flashing glimpses of your bare stomach, the underside of your breasts, the place where your body swallowed him over and over. His mouth fell open, a broken sound escaping his throat that was somewhere between a moan and a sob.

"Fuck, you're wearing my shirt—mmgh—you're riding me in my fucking shirt," he rasped, his voice wrecked and thin. "You look so—god—you look so filthy wearing my shirt while you fuck me, I can see it riding up every time you—ah—every time you drop down on me, I can see you taking me in, I can—see everything—"

"You like that?" you breathed, rolling your hips in a deep, grinding circle that pressed him against your cervix and made your own vision pixelate for a second. "You like watching me ride your big cock in your shirt, baby? Makes you even harder, doesn't it? I can feel it. I can feel you getting thicker inside me."

"Yes, mama—yes," he cried out, tears now spilling freely down the sides of his face, his hips trembling with the effort of not thrusting up into you. "I love watching you—watching you ride me, watching you fuck me hard. You look so—fucking gorgeous, your body moving like that, my shirt on you—fuck, it—makes me so horny, I'm so horny for you, I can't, I can't—"

"Can't what?" you demanded, breathless now too, because his dick was hitting that spot inside you over and over and your thighs were burning but you didn't dare stop. "Use your words, Jake. Tell me what you need, what you want, anything."

"I need to come—I need to come so bad, please let me come. I'll be so good—fuck—I've been so good, please," he babbled, his wrists pulling at the tie so hard the headboard creaked, not trying to escape, just needing something to hold onto while his entire body vibrated with tension. Sweat was beading at his hairline now, rolling down his jaw, pooling in the hollow of his throat. His abs were clenched so tight they were shaking.

"You wanna come inside me, baby?" you asked, and you watched his face absolutely crumble with want.

"Please, please, please—let me come inside, I wanna fill you up so bad, wanna give you everything, please, mama—fuck—please," he begged, and his voice was so high and thin and desperate that it sent a bolt of heat straight through your core. You clenched around him involuntarily and he sobbed.

"Ah, Jake, you feel so good—so big, you're so deep—mmgh," you managed, your own rhythm faltering for just a second as the pleasure crested. The slapping of skin on skin was relentless now, a wet, obscene percussion that mixed with the creak of the bed frame and Jake's continuous stream of whimpered praise.

"So big for me—stretching me out so good, you're so fucking big—baby—I can barely take it," you gasped, and he shuddered beneath you like the words were physically stroking his cock.

"You take it so well—you take me so well, mama. You were made for me, made for my cock," he whimpered back, because even tied up and desperate and barely coherent, Jake couldn't stop telling you how good you were, how perfect, how everything about you drove him insane.

"I'm gonna come, mama—" His voice pitched up into a register you'd never heard from him before, a reedy, fractured sound.

"That's it, baby, that's it," you said, speeding up your pace, slamming your hips down with a force that made the headboard slam against the wall, the sound of your bodies meeting now sharp and loud and absolutely filthy. "Fuck a baby into me. Come inside me until I'll be able to feel you for days."

Jake let out a sound that was barely human, a wrecked, guttural moan that broke into a whine at the end. "Yes—hell yes—I'll give you a baby, I'll fill you up so deep, you'll be dripping me for days, I'll put a baby in you, I'll, fuck, fuck—"

"Give it to me, give me everything," you commanded, and your own orgasm was right there, coiling tight at the base of your spine, your walls fluttering around him in warning.

"I'm coming, I'm coming, mama, I'm—ah—fuck—" Jake's entire body arched off the bed, his back bowing as he buried himself as deep as he could go, and you felt the first hot pulse of him spilling inside you, thick, copious, endless. He was moaning your name, then just sounds, then nothing but shuddering breaths as his cock kicked and throbbed, pumping rope after rope of cum deep into your pussy. His hips stuttered up into you involuntarily, grinding himself even deeper, and you could feel the warmth of him flooding your insides, so much of it, the excess already beginning to leak out around where you were joined and drip down onto his thighs.

That was what pushed you over. You came with a cry, your walls clenching around him in rhythmic pulses, milking him through it, pulling every last drop deeper inside. Your vision went white at the edges, your hands bracing against his chest, and you could feel your own body drawing him in, greedy and needy, making sure none of it would go to waste. The pleasure rolled through you in waves, your thighs trembling on either side of his hips, your breath coming in sharp, staccato gasps.

You both stayed there for a long moment, trembling, catching your breath. Jake's cock was still twitching inside you, oversensitive now, and you could feel the mess he'd made, the obscene squelch of his come shifting inside you every time you so much as breathed. His chest was heaving, his skin flushed from his cheeks down to his nipples, sweat glistening across his whole body, his hair a dark, damp mess against the pillow. His fingers were still wrapped around the silk tie, knuckles white, and when you finally, slowly, leaned forward, he let out a shaky exhale against your lips.

You kissed him. Slow this time, soft, your lips moving gently over his while his cock was still buried inside you, still half-hard, keeping everything exactly where it belonged. He kissed you back with a tenderness that made your chest hurt, his tongue tracing your lower lip, his breath warm and unsteady. You reached up and undid the tie with one hand, freeing his wrists, and his arms immediately wrapped around you, one hand cradling the back of your head and the other pressing flat against the small of your back, holding you against him like he was afraid you'd disappear.

His fingers stroked through your hair. You could feel his heartbeat hammering against your own chest, gradually slowing. The mess between your thighs was warm and sticky and neither of you moved to do anything about it.

Jake broke the kiss first, just enough to speak, his lips still brushing yours. His voice was hoarse, barely above a whisper, ruined from all the sounds you'd pulled out of him tonight.

"We should do this again more often."

You laughed, breathless, pressing your forehead to his, and you felt him smile against your skin.

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🎹 ⊹ ࣪ ˖ ഒ touch tank by quinnie

✷ NOTE : thank you all so, so much for reading ! i hope you enjoyed this little world for a while ♡ all of this is purely a work of fiction & doesn’t reflect reality at all . . likes, reblogs, and feedback are deeply cherished and very, very appreciated on here !

you “accidentally” wear the short skirt he hates when you go out with his friends, then sit on jake’s lap for two seconds just to watch jay’s eyes narrow. you text him “forgot what time you said you’d be home, oops” when you know he’s been stressed about schedules. you tease him about how sunghoon is “so tall and quiet, kind of mysterious” right before bed. small things. constant little jabs.

he always warns you.

“keep going, baby. see what happens.”

but you never stop. until tonight.

you’re both in the living room after a long day. jay is tired, scrolling through his phone on the couch, still in his practice clothes. you’re feeling particularly bold, crawling into his lap and straddling him with a sweet smile.

“you looked a little slow during practice today,” you say innocently, tracing a finger down his chest. “maybe you’re getting old. should i start calling you grandpa jay?”

it’s a joke. mostly. but you say it with that bratty little tilt of your head, the one you know drives him insane.

jay freezes. his hand comes up to grip your jaw, firm but not painful, forcing you to look at him. his eyes are dark.

“say that again.”

you smirk. “what? grandpa jay? it’s cute—”

that’s the last straw.

in one smooth motion he flips you over, pinning you face-down on the couch with his body weight. his chest presses against your back, mouth right next to your ear.

“you’ve been begging for this for weeks,” he growls, voice low and dangerous. “pushing me every single day. flirting with my members. wearing shit you know i hate. testing me like i won’t do anything about it. i’ve been patient, baby. but i’m done.”

you shiver, equal parts nervous and excited. “jay—”

“no. you don’t get to talk right now.” he yanks your shorts and panties down in one tug, leaving your ass bare. his large hand smooths over your skin almost tenderly for a second — then comes down hard.

the first spank makes you gasp.

“count.”

“one—”

he spanks you again, harder. “louder.”

by the tenth spank your eyes are watery and your ass is burning, but you’re soaked between your thighs. jay notices immediately. he slides two fingers through your folds, humming in mock disappointment.

“so wet already? my little brat gets turned on when i finally put her in her place.”

he flips you onto your back, spreading your legs wide. he doesn’t touch your clit. instead he pushes two fingers inside you, pumping slowly, curling them against that spot that makes you see stars — but never fast enough.

every time you get close, he stops.

“jay please— i’m sorry—”

“not yet.” he leans down, sucking a mark into your inner thigh. “you wanted to act like a brat. now you’re going to take what i give you.”

he edges you for what feels like forever — fingers, tongue, the head of his cock rubbing against your entrance but never pushing in. you’re crying, hips bucking desperately, begging so prettily it almost breaks his resolve.

“please, jay— i’ll be good, i swear. i’m your good girl. please let me cum.”

he finally gives in.

he pushes into you in one deep thrust, stretching you open. the moan you let out is broken. he fucks you hard — deep, punishing strokes that make the couch creak. one hand wraps around your throat lightly, the other pins your hip down.

“this is what you needed, isn’t it?” he rasps, sweat dripping down his neck. “getting fucked stupid until that bratty mouth shuts up. you’re mine. only mine. stop testing me or i’ll edge you for hours next time.”

you nod frantically, tears slipping down your cheeks. “yours— only yours—”

he reaches between you and rubs your clit in tight, perfect circles. you cum so hard your vision whites out, clenching around him and sobbing his name. jay follows right after, burying himself deep with a low groan as he fills you up.

the second it’s over, the mean dom disappears.

jay pulls out gently, gathers you into his arms, and carries you to the bedroom. he cleans you up with a warm cloth, kisses every inch of your face, and rubs soothing lotion into your sore ass.

“you okay, baby?” he whispers, voice back to that soft, loving tone you adore. he pulls you against his chest, stroking your hair. “i wasn’t too rough?”

you shake your head, hiding your face in his neck. “i liked it… i pushed you too far.”

“you did,” he admits, pressing soft kisses to your temple. “but i love you like this. even when you’re being a little terror.” he chuckles quietly. “just know that when you really cross the line, i’ll always put you back in your place. and then i’ll take care of you after. always.”

you melt into him, sleepy and satisfied. “i love you.”

“i love you more,” he murmurs, holding you tighter. “my sweet, bratty, perfect wife. now sleep. tomorrow you’re going to be on your best behavior… or we’ll repeat this.”

you smile against his skin, already drifting off in his arms — safe, loved, and secretly excited for the next time you get to push him.

© jongst4r, 2026

You did, of course. Because Jungwon wasn't just a random schoolboy.

The golden rule: don’t even fucking look at your brother’s friends like that. Before you had a chance to dream about it, it was off limits and off the damn market.

So you told yourself it was temporary. Just some hormonal, dramatic, dumbass teenage phase. You’d grow out of it. You’d wake up one day and he’d just be… normal. Not the guy who made your stomach flip like you were on a broken rollercoaster. Not the guy whose voice alone made your chest tighten.

Except you never grew out of it.

The day he introduced himself is still fresh in your mind. There was something guarded in his dark eyes, something carefully concealed behind a soft yet unreadable expression. He barely blinked, simply watching you as though he were committing your face to memory. At first, he wore a polite smile—gentle, almost too damned beautiful to be true. Being that attractive while standing in your own living room ought to have been prohibited.

Your heart nearly pounded out of your chest when you shook his hand. His palm was warm against yours, steady and firm. He held your gaze without wavering, and he didn’t let go immediately. The only thing that shifted was his smile—it faded slowly, as if he had caught himself revealing too much. The slightest smirk appeared before he withdrew, and you swear, you fucking swear you saw it.

Two years older. That was it. Only two. However, that felt enormous, mature, and dangerous at sixteen. You finally understand what "raw and older" actually means now that you're twenty. After four years of pretending you don't think about him in ways you really shouldn't, the phrase has a different impact.

It would remain a fantasy, you assured yourself. Finally, your desire to fuck him would only ever exist in your imagination. Every time he visited, you would push that filthy little thought to the back of your mind, that you would eventually find it funny. Fall in love with someone safer and easier. However, you are now twenty years old, still figuring things out, Still broke bruh. And still a total idiot when it comes to Jungwon.

Both of you grew up. His shoulders grew wider, his jaw sharpened, and his confidence became quieter. You also changed; you were no longer a child, and you no longer hid behind big hoodies and awkward silences.

What didn’t change? Your feelings.

They didn’t just stick around. They Deepened, got worse, man, way fucking worse. They grew up with you. Less teenage crush and more slow-burning obsession that crawls under your skin and refuses to leave.

It was driving you insane. He was driving you insane.

Because how the hell are you supposed to get over someone who looks at you like that?

The way his eyes stay on you for a second too long when you're wearing shorts. You notice even though it's not clear enough for others to notice. You're always aware. When you pass him on your way to the kitchen, his eyes follow the curve of your ass and hips. His clenched jaw gives the impression that he is physically stopping himself from fucking you on the kitchen counter.

He occasionally clenches his fists, too. As if he's preventing himself from snatching you and destroying everything else that stands between you both.

And the worst fucking part? Because what if it’s not just you? What if he feels it too? The tension in the air whenever you’re alone is thick enough to choke on. Every eye contact makes you lose your sanity.

You hate it. You crave it. You’re back to that hopeless stage of wanting a taste.

A nip. A lick. Anything.

You’ll take anything he allows you to have. Even if small, You’ll fucking gobble it all down and store it in that nook inside you that's disturbingly filled with him.

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯—

It’s Friday night, and your brother’s friends are over again. At first, the house felt alive in that chaotic, boyish way—controllers clicking, loud debates over nothing, and the occasional shove that almost turned into wrestling. They were playing games, yelling over each other, arguing about scores like five years old. For a while, it was almost entertaining.

But now the energy has curdled. The pizza boxes lie open and forgotten on the coffee table, No one’s really talking anymore—just half-finished sentences and exaggerated sighs. The vibe has completely died.

Heeseung’s friends are a bunch of fucking weirdos—no surprise, considering your brother is one too. They’re loud, and somehow always sticky. They argue over the dumbest things, laugh like hyenas at jokes that barely qualify as humour and treat your house like it’s their personal headquarters. Half the time you swear they share one collective brain cell.

Still… you’re glad they’re around.

As irritating as it gets having them over 24/7—shouting down hallways, blasting music at ungodly volumes, at least your life isn’t painfully boring. There’s always something happening. Someone getting pranked. Someone fake-fighting. Someone dramatically announcing they’re “never coming back” only to show up again the next day. They’ve blurred into something more than just your brother’s friends. They’re like extended family now—annoying, invasive, loud family, but family nonetheless.

Except one person. Jungwon.

He doesn’t quite fit into the “extended family” category. Not in the way the others do. While they sprawl across the couch and treat you like a younger sibling they can tease, Jungwon keeps a certain distance. He’s there, but never fully tangled in the noise. He doesn’t look at you the way the others do.

He looks at you differently.

Jake bursts into the living room with a football tucked under his arm. “We’re going to the turf. Night match. Loser buys food.” Sunghoon is already halfway to the door. “Jungwon, you coming?”

Jungwon is sprawled back on the couch, hoodie on, head tilted against the cushion looking as if he hasn’t slept in days. He rubs the back of his neck. “I’ve had practice all week. I’m dead. I’ll pass.” Heeseung pauses, eyeing him. “You sure?”

“Yeah. I’ll just chill.” Heeseung shrugs, then looks at you. “Y/n, I’ll probably come late. Maybe morning. Lock the doors. And Jungwon—” his tone shifts, protective big-brother mode kicking in, “keep an eye on her.”

You roll your eyes dramatically. “I’m not a kid, you know.” Jake whistles low. “You kind of are, though.” You glare at him. “Shut the fuck up, dickface.” Jake gasps like you’ve stabbed him. “I raised you better than this.”

“You absolutely did not.” Laughter fills the hallway as they grab their shoes and head out. The front door shuts. Then the gate clicks.

And now there’s silence. Not the awkward kind, the heavy kind. The house is big, spacious enough to swallow sound, but it suddenly feels smaller. Tighter. Especially when you remember it’s just the two of you here.

That thought alone makes your thighs press together before you can stop yourself. And then the unfiltered thoughts start pouring in. Not new, Definitely not the first time.

This doesn’t usually happen. Well—maybe once. But your mom had been home that time, moving around in the kitchen, the clatter of dishes acting as some thin thread of restraint. This time, though? Your parents are out of town, celebrating Valentine’s Day somewhere by the beach. So romantic. So annoyingly wholesome.

Which leaves you here, Alone. With Jungwon.

He’s still on the couch, scrolling through his phone like nothing’s changed. Like the air hasn’t shifted. Like you’re not standing down the hallway fighting the urge to do something reckless.

That annoys the hell out of you.

You lean against the wall for a second, watching him. He looks calm, relaxed, completely fucking unaffected.

And you hate that. So you plan to change it.

This is it. If there’s ever going to be a moment where you figure out whether he feels the same way as you do, it’s now.

You walk off casually and change. You slip on a two-piece nightwear set. The top is a black tank top with thin straps. The bottom is a pair of black shorts with a drawstring waist and a white stripe around the hem that cling to your hips and ass and the curve around your thighs—no bra underneath. Innocent. Deadly.

When you walk back into the living room, he doesn’t look up at first. You sit on the opposite end of the couch. He scrolls. You shift slightly, tucking one leg under you. Nothing, This asshole.

You stretch your legs out slowly, crossing them at the knee. The fabric rides up just enough. He glances up.

And for a split second, Jungwon freezes—just long enough for you to catch it. It’s subtle, but you see it. His jaw tightens. His breath stutters. His eyes flick down to your bare legs, then snap back up like he’s just touched smth that burned him.

Your pretty legs out on display only for him to notice, he doesn’t know that though. He wants nothing more than to wrap those legs around his shoulders and fucking devour you.

And suddenly he can feel his jeans tightening, fabric going unforgiving in all the wrong ways.

Some people would think it’s fucking stupid to react to something so simple. Bare skin. A pair of shorts. An absentminded stretch. But they don’t understand. They don’t realize the effect you have on him. You don’t even try, and that’s the worst part.

Jungwon has always prided himself on control. On not wanting what he can’t have—she’s off-limits, she’s your friend’s sister, this is a bad fucking idea, don’t even go there. Anything other than reality feels like a sin.

But you mess with his head in ways he hates admitting.

You make him want to punch walls, To flip tables, To smoke more than he should just to dull the edge of whatever the hell this is. You make him clench his fists so hard his knuckles ache. You make him lose his cool, and he never loses his cool. Not over anything, Not over anyone.

And the worst, most terrifying part?

He has this sick, gut-twisting feeling that if you ever looked up at him, tilted your head just right, and said please—soft and sweet and unaware of what it’d do to him, he’d be fucked. Completely and utterly fucked.

He’d give you anything. Every damn thing.

Then he looks back down at his phone like nothing happened, always so fucking controlled. You almost smile at that.

You lean further into the couch, arm draped casually over the backrest, fingers brushing the fabric like you’ve got all the time in the world. “So you’re really that tired?”

“Yeah,” Jungwon says, still not looking at you. “Exhausted.”

“Mhm.” Silence settles again, You shift slightly, crossing one leg over the other. Very slowly, veryyyyy practiced. The hem of your shorts rides up, His scrolling falters for half a second. You tilt your head. “You don’t look tired.” He replies almost immediately, “I am.” He clears his throat.

It’s hot, watching him hold himself together like that. If you really wanted to, you could ruin it in seconds. You could stand up, close the distance, and straddle his lap. You could feel the way he’d tense under you, hands hovering in air, unsure whether to touch or push you away—Okay no.

“Is it hot in here?” you ask lightly. “No.”

“Feels warm.”

“It’s normal.” You hum, then lean forward slightly, reaching for the remote. The shirt shifts, revealing your waistline, Jungwon exhales slowly through his nose, setting his phone face down beside him. His gaze doesn’t leave you this time.

“You’re very bored,” he says. You smile, “Maybe.”

“So you’re going to annoy me?” You tilt your head. “Annoy you? I’m just sitting.” His gaze moves down to your thighs, slow, taking in the shorts. The way you’re sitting. The way you’re watching him watch you.

He leans back, eyes finally settling on your face—and fuck, you’re so fucking pretty it almost annoys him. There have been nights, too many, where he’s found some quiet corner of his house, door locked, jerking off at the thought of how you’d look between his legs.

“Jungwon..” How every muscle tightens at the whisper of his name. It sounds so sweet coming from your mouth, like it was the sound of salvation instead of ruin.

You were the only person who’d ever said his name like that. His hands curled. The icy blast of water pommeled his skin but did nothing to quell the desire raging inside him. The smell of honey and your perfume swirled in the shower.

You had seared so deep into his consciousness that you were all he could smell. All he could feel. And, even when he closed his eyes, all he could see.

The need in his groin pulsed harder, goddamit. He bit out a low curse before he reached and fisted his cock, It was hard and swollen and already dripping with pre-cum. His movements were rough, almost angry as he worked himself towards a much needed release.

All these years, he could’ve kissed you if he wanted. He could’ve fisted your hair and branded you with his mouth until he proved that there was nothing wrong about the dark fire that burned between you both.

The only thing that'd held him back was a fine thread of self-control, woven from fuck ass logic and the faintest shreds of his long-destroyed conscience. He was well aware of the fact that, should either of you break, Jungwon would be condemning not only himself but you to hell.

He would touch you with bloodied hands and kiss you with a deceiver's mouth and you, without realizing it—would crawl willingly into bed beside a monster.

Part of him wanted you so badly he didn’t give a damn what it cost. The other part, the one that still resembled something human, wanted to hide you somewhere far away. Somewhere even he couldn’t reach you. Because he knew himself too well. If he ever lost control—if he ever came looking—there wouldn’t be a place, a person, or a god capable of stopping him.

He would tear the world apart piece by piece just to get you back.

It was a paradox, as were all things in his life that related to you. But if the thread had snapped…like now. Jungwon closed his eyes, his grip tight and his breath hardened. You could’ve been beneath him now, your nails clawing his back and his name a moan in your mouth….

He swallowed, shaking the memory off before it got out of hand. He didn’t know if this was right, or when the right time would come to make a move, but if you kept testing him like this, he’d just show you because once he claimed you as his, he would do it so fucking thoroughly there wouldn’t be a shred of doubt in either of your minds as to who you belonged to…or who he belonged to in return.

“You think I don’t see what you’re doing?” Jungwon says, voice low, but there’s tension in it now. “But I’m not doing anything.”

“You changed.”

“I’m in my own house.”

“That’s not the point.” You uncross your legs slowly. “Then what is?”

He's leaning forward now, bent elbows propped against his thighs, hands clasped in front of his chin. There's nothing bored or stony about him right now.

No, he's in pure heat and restrained hunger, and you love that You’re the person who's put that look in his eyes.

His jaw tightens slightly. “You’re testing my patience,” he says.

You don’t deny it because that’s exactly what you’re doing. Jungwon’s always been a persistent bastard. Impossible to read. He never shows what he truly feels, never lets anything slip, and maybe that’s why your heart’s been stuck on him for so long. Maybe that’s why he never leaves your fucking mind.

It’s been four goddamn years. Four years of glances that linger too long, of tension that never breaks, of teasing comments here and there, of almosts.

He doesn’t blink and somehow that only makes the heat in your lower stomach burn hotter. “You think because no one’s home you can just… push?” He said in a perpetually tired voice, “Push what?” you ask softly, tilting your head. His nostrils flare slightly.

Jungwon stands up so suddenly the couch dips from the shift in weight. He walks around the coffee table and stops directly in front of you. The movement alone makes you straighten without thinking.

“Don’t play dumb,” he says quietly. You have to tilt your chin up to keep eye contact. “You know exactly what you’re doing.”

“That’s what you think?” You stretch back against the cushions, feigning boredom, though every inch of you is hyperaware of him. He’s so close you can feel the heat rolling off him, and it’s driving you insane. “Sounds like a you problem.”

“You changed on purpose,” he says quietly. You shrug one shoulder. “I wanted to be comfortable.”

“You weren’t wearing that earlier.”

“And?” He exhales sharply through his nose. You can see the restraint wearing thinner by the second. You shift again, just slightly, drawing one knee up onto the couch so you’re angled toward him. Your gaze drifts over his body slowly before returning to his eyes.

Jungwon was aware that your eyes wasn’t sexual—or maybe it was. His groin continued to tighten in spite of that. It was straining his pants so badly, it hurt.

You say softly, "If it bothers you, I can go change." You don't get up to stand. He presses his hand to the couch's back. "Stop," he commands. "Stop what?"

“Talking like that."

“Like what?"

“Like you don't know what you do to me.” The words are heavier than you anticipate. They are no longer teasing. Not sarcastic. Simply put, honesty. "Then tell me," you say softly, maintaining eye contact without breaking first. "What do i do to you?" That's it. His expression changes, He looks at you for a long moment, as if he's considering every potential result and consequences that could come later.

You open your mouth to press once more, to say something else that will make him snap. He cuts you off.

“Fuck it."

Low and final, the words escape him in a breath. Then he moves, His firm yet cautious hand moves from the back of the couch to your jaw harshly, forcing your face up, There’s no hesitation in his moments—You can tell, he’s been waiting for this to happen.

Jungwon slams his lips onto yours. You answered by meeting his kiss with a firmer one of your own. He felt your fingers curling into his hair, fingernails scraping along his scalp and everything inside jungwon relaxed and the nervousness uncoiled from his gut. A warm buzz of energy sunk through his flesh down to the very core of his soul. This was right. This was always where he needed to be.

He places his hands around your waist as he pulls you closer, goosebumps swarming every part of your body he touches. You throw your arm around his neck as jungwon pulls you up, Fingertips pressing under your top, drawing gentle circles against that small stripe of bare skin that makes you break the kiss with a gasp.

He claimed your lips in a punishing kiss again. Your blood burned at the onslaught, and when his tongue forced into your mouth, you yanked a fistful of his hair in retaliation until he hissed out a pained growl.

“Fuck,” he curses under his breath. “Jump.” Jungwon orders, rough and impatient.

And you do. Of course you do. Because you’ve waited too long to second-guess it now—years of longing, years of pretending, years of convincing yourself you didn’t love him. It was always him.

Love? You… loved him?

He catches you easily, like he knew you would leap. His hands drag down your back, slow and possessive, fingers spreading as they settle low on your waist. When your legs lock around him, He squeezes your ass, his grip tightens, spinning you once, holding you up like you belong there.

You make a soft, helpless noise when he pulls you closer, grinding into you while keeping you lifted. He walks you to your room without pulling away, breathing heavy through the kiss. He fumbles with the lock, pushes the door open, and once it clicks shut behind you, he pins you against it. The impact steals your breath, your gasp swallowed by his mouth.

Jungwon let out a low groan at the sound that slipped from you, the noise going straight to his head. Your gasping moan is all he needs to hear to devour you like he’s starving and your his Michelin-rated meal.

He cages you in with both arms, hands flat against the surface behind you, his body sealing you in. Then he moves closer, easing his thigh between yours, forcing them apart without breaking eye contact.

He leans in but stops halfway, like something invisible pulls him back. Maybe it’s the weight of what this is. Maybe it’s the way the world would look at the two of you and call it wrong. And maybe it is wrong.

But it feels right. Painfully right.

Jungwon exhales shakily, the breath uneven against your skin. His forehead brushes yours as he closes his eyes for a second, “We can’t… I can’t,” he says, voice strained. “Don’t you understand what this means? I can’t show you… I can’t want you.” The words sound like they hurt him to say.

Then lifts his hand to tilt your chin up with his thumb, forcing you to look at him. His eyes aren’t cold or controlled anymore—they’re conflicted, raw. “This can’t happen, y/n.”

“I know,” you whisper, your voice barely there. “But I don’t care what comes next.”

Jungwon’s eyes darken at your words as his hand comes up to grip your jaw. “God, you drive me so fucking crazy I can barely breathe sometimes.” His thumb drags down slowly, tugging at your bottom lip. “What I’d give to be the only man you ever looked at like this,” he rasps, fingers threading through your hair as he tilts your head back, exposing your neck like a goddamn offering.

He doesn’t kiss you this time. Instead, he leans in slowly, dragging his nose slowly up the soft curve of your neck, burying himself in the scent of your skin. “I terrify you?” he murmurs against your throat. You nod, small and shaky, and he breathes you in deeper, like that answer only fuels something inside him. “You have no idea what you do to me.”

Your fingers curl into his shirt. Your pulse is everywhere. “Tell me,” you whisper. His hand tightens slightly in your hair, keeping your head tilted back, his mouth hovering just above your skin. His breathing is uneven now, rough at the edges.

"I had so many chances, so many nights I should've said fuck it and taken what I wanted, and I blew every single one." His grip tightens in your hair as his forehead drops to yours and he breathes you in once more, like a dying man getting his last taste of heaven. "And now..."

Your lips parted, eyes nearly rolling to the back of your head when you felt his cock perfectly aligned against your wet core. “Now i’m gonna take exactly what i’ve been walking away from.” with that, his mouth is on yours—No softness, all teeth. It’s sloppy, messy, and so fucking hot.

You slip your hands down his body, feeling him, reaching exactly where you wanted to. His hard cock was straining against his briefs, and you stroked your hands along his length against the fabric. He felt so thick — the thought of him forcing that monster inside you, alone made you whimper. He leaned down, kissing you deeply as you continued to stroke him.

"Tell me what you want," Jungwon murmurs into the hollow of your throat, hands on your hips to urge you on, to grind your dripping cunt down harder against the muscle of his thigh. “argh, jungwon—” A broken cry leaves your lips as your back arches off the door as he slings your leg around his waist, thrusting up in process.

He pull back slightly so he can look into your eyes. When you don’t say anything, He shifts his hips again and demand, "Answer me, what do you want?” You moan and then says, “God please—fuck me—oh my god, Jungwon!” You whined, "Shit, i love the idea of being your god.” he groaned, pushing his hips forward.

You panted when his thumb pressed between your legs, brushing against fabric that was already dark and wet. You exhaled in a rush until there was no air left, embarrassment washing over you at the thought that now he must know exactly how much you wanted this.

“So fucking wet for me.” He says under his breath, hooking his fingers and dragging them along your clothed pussy. The slow, undulating thrust of his hips made you feel like you’re caught in a snare.

“Tell me what you want, y/n, come on, be a good girl.” He asked making you glare up at him slightly, “Why don’t you fuck me and we can find out?” You scrunched your nose.

Jungwon chuckles low under his breath before scooping you up again, and you yelp in surprise at the sudden movement. He carries you the few steps to the bed and tosses you onto it with more force than necessary, your body bouncing slightly from the impact. You glare up at him, hair a mess, heart racing.

Rude.

"Take off your underwear." He said, you blink, once, twice, then you slipped your hand into the waistband of your panties and shimmied them down until they pooled on the floor as you threw them. Heat rose to your cheek, because he could see how wet you really were.

Your panties completely drenched, Your thighs slick with your juices. Still, You were turned on enough to brush past your embarrassment.

He leaned over you, arms braced on either side of your head and for a second, it felt like the world had shrunk down to just this—his shadow, his heat, his steady gaze on your cunt.

His eyes ravenous as he soaked you in. Between his hungry stare and your current position, you felt so small. “Spread your legs wider, let me see that pretty pussy dripping for me.”

Heat rose up your cheeks at his words but you did what he asked. Spreading your thighs wider, He didn’t take his eyes off your face until you looked away, blushing. Only then did he allow his gaze to fall slide down to your cunt.

Wet, pulsing, throbbing, waiting to be filled. His cock strained even harder, snarling him to take you and make you his until it was clear to every single person who you belonged to. Me. Jungwon thought.

You shudder under his gaze because he was looking at you so intensely without doing anything. You closed your legs slightly, covering yourself but he stopped you with a grip on your wrist. “You don’t need to cover yourself infront of me.”

“I don’t…I’m not…” You sighed, your throat moved again with a visible swallow. “It’s been a while since someone saw me like this.” Possessiveness burned in his gut, ofc he knew you must’ve been naked infront of others men before—just as he knew he wanted to do nothing more than peeling their skin off and leave them to rot under the sun for daring to lay their eyes on you.

No one would ever be worthy of you.

“Define a while.” He said, “Years.” Jungwon tsked, he wanted to press further, demand the name of every fucking man who’d touched you so that he could pay them a follow-up visit.

Jungwon finally had you in his hands, and he wasn’t going to rush any stop along the way. “You’re fucking drenched, doll.” Lust rendered his voice and he dipped his hand under your thighs, spreading your legs wider before slipping his fingers through your wet folds.

Your head fell back and a moan slipped from you when he lazily played with your clit, circling and rubbing the swollen bud until your juices slicked his fingers.

Your moan is his new favorite melody as your orgasm floods your body, the taste of your energy tingling along his tongue like the sweetest sparkling wine. It nearly brings him to his knees, and he hasn’t even touched you yet, not properly.

Suddenly desperate for more friction, You grab Jungwon’s face and pull him into you, kissing him harder. You hear him groan, feeling him harden against your belly. "Jungwon," You whined, the last half of his name coming out with a shiver as he began to kiss your neck. Your hands dug into his hair, pulling him closer. "Stop toying with me."

"As you wish, pretty girl," He whispered into your ear as he slid his finger lower and into you. You were so damn hot and wet and perfect.

"Tell me this is all for me, Y/n.” He pleaded, stroking you while his palm grinded against your clit. Now that he could feel you, actually feel you, he needed to feel you come around his fingers as soon as possible.

“Tell me, y/n.” He growled, pressing a firm thumb to your clit, his touch as brutal as his command. “Yes—yes, Yours—It’s always been you.” The words exploded out of you, shaky, raw, filtered, followed by a needy moan when jungwon rubbed his thumb over you.

Jungwon smiled at that, dangerously beautiful before his mouth crashed over you, swallowing your gasp and ensuing moan when he fisted your hair hard enough to make your eyes water.

Jungwon pulled back enough so you could see him, and you watched as he shed his clothes, Broad shoulders, perfectly sculpted muscles, abs one could grate cheese on. Absolute masculine perfection. Your core pulsed as your eyes ate him up, biceps you’d like to bite on, a deep V-cut that led down his….Holy fuck.

Jungwon’s body could serve as the mold for greek god statue, his body was even more perfect up closer….and a long thick cock that looked like it could wreck you with little effort.

Fuck. Your mouth dried at the sight of it, thick, hard, with a bead of pre-cum glistening at its tip. The throbbing between your legs intensified until it was the only thing you could feel, hear. Jungwon moves to peck your lips, His grip on your hips tightens and he presses down, grinding his cock against your folds, rolling it in circles until your both gasping into each other's mouths.

“Y/n would be the death of me.” He thought, he’d had known it the moment he set his eyes on you and his prediction was playing in real life as he devoured you.

Four years of watching and waiting and wishing, None of that mattered when he tasted how sweet you were or felt how perfectly your curves fit in his palms, like you was tailor-made for him. It had all came down to this and it was better than he’d imagined.

Your arms wrapped around his neck, You tasted like honey and sugar, and at that moment, it became his favourite taste in the world. It wasn't a sweet kiss. It was hard, demanding, borne out of years of pent-up frustration and tension, but you matched him inch for inch.

“Fuck, look at you.” He says, rubbing his thumb over your bottom lip before trailing it down to the end of your shirt. Ripppp! Fabric gives way with a sharp, brutal sound, and you can only blink at him as he lets the ruined shirt fall from his hands.

“Before i take you, i need you to know one thing,” His one hand reached around and parted your thighs, slipping his fingers past your slippery folds. The other closed around your throat, He squeezed hard enough to cut off your breath for several beats before he loosened his grip. You gasped in a lungful of air.

Then he yanks you closer by your hair, a cry of pain leaving you until you felt his lips next to your ear, “Every inch of you…will be mine after i’m done with you.” Your cunt clenched around his fingers, “Yes.” You whisper.

You wanted to fill every inch of your soul with this man.

“Say it, who do you belong to?”

“You.” You moan out, “I belong to you.”

"That's right" Jungwon slipped his fingers out of your pussy and thrust them into your mouth. You could already taste yourself, the tension thick on your tongue. He hummed in approval when you licked your juices off without hesitation.

"I love how much you like your own juices. Maybe you'll lick them off my dick when we're done. Would you like that? Do you want to suck your come off my cock?

He could come just by watching this. There was a good chance he would say, “I want to worship you." You shuddered. And then he did, starting with your toes and working his way up your calves to your thighs.

Your fingers moved to his hair as he neared, and he stopped long enough to flick his tongue through the wetness there. You roll your eyes back so hard you almost see white.

Jungwon was taking his time—slow, painfully slow. You wanted him, Now. You wanted him inside you.

Without any warning, He slides two fingers over your clit, and then in one motion, he pushes one finger deep inside your pussy. Your back arches off the mattress and a strangled scream falls right out of you.

You try to close your eyes, but he grips your jaw harshly, angling your face so you have no choice but to look at him. “Eyes on me. Want to see you fall apart, want you to watch me finally fucking worship this cunt.” Jungwon pushed his fingers to the hilt and with-drew it slowly, yanking a loudest moan from you yet.

“Please…” You whimper, “I need….i need—” He pushed a second finger inside you, dragging them in and out. Enough to bring you to the edge but not enough to tip you over. “What do you need?” “I need to come—please, Won—”

You moaned, jungwon stilled. “What did you call me?” He lifted his head and you stared back at him, “Won…” You repeated in a whisper. Fuck. He exhaled a sharp breath before you dip your head back as he drags his fingers out and rubbed a lazy circle on your clit with his thumb before he slammed them back. You jolt, crying out. You hold the sheets while the other fisted his hair hard enough to sting.

“So hot and so fucking good for me.” You chase the building pressure. Rocking into his fingers and riding his hands with wild force until he pauses, leaving you breathless.

The wet, filthy sounds of his fingers pumping in and out of you told him what he needed to know. “That’s my girl, look how fucking good you’re taking me. Goddamn im proud of you.” He growled, looking down at the way his fingers disappear into your perfect cunt. “Come for me doll, Make a mess on my fingers, soak my hand.” You don’t hear him, because you feel like you could take his entire fist by now, that’s how wet you were.

And when jungwon curled his fingers just right—You clench around him hard, body tensed up as you go to close your legs but Jungwon’s other hand finds your thighs and prevents you from closing them. He slows down the pace of his thrusts and you physically wince when he pulls them out—You were so close.

He chuckles, and spreads your legs as open as he can get. He trails his wet fingers up your body before leaning down and spitting—right on your clit. Making everything slicker and dirtier, “Ask. Ask me to make you come. Beg for it.”

Then he gives you no time, no warning, again. And slams two—no maybe three fucking fingers inside you and starts pumping in and out, curling the tips upward, meeting every inch you alone couldn’t. “Oh—Please—gonna come.”

Jungwon’s mouth drops to your ears. “You’re gonna come for me, doll? I want to feel it. I want every second of your pleasure to belong to me. Say it. Tell me it’s mine.”

Your inner walls stretched around every delicious thick inch of his fingers. Your back arched off the bed, a moan spilling past your lips. Jungwon pulled out before shoving inside again, with the same maddening slow pace. His lips quirked with a smile as you lost all sense of everything around you, spreading for him, wide and eager. "Yeah, open those beautiful thighs. I want to see your pink cunt dripping for me. That's my girl."

Your breath hitched as he began kissing your inner thighs like they were your mouth, swirling his tongue, nuzzling his nose, making you open your legs wider. You grabbed one the pillows and moaned into it loudly. A hand reached from between your legs, grabbing the pillow and tossing it on the floor. “Look at me when i’m fucking your pretty pussy, doll.”

He increases the pace of his pumps while he lowers his head and sucks your nipple into his mouth. Jungwon groaned. You tasted even better than he’d imagined. He licked and sucked on your nipples while he savagely fucked in and out of your tight, clenching pussy. “No—please.” You beg, shaking your head, he’s been at it for god knows how long and you still hadn’t came a single time.

He grazed his teeth over your nipple. "You need to come? Hmm?" You whisper, "Y-yes." It came out as a half plea, half moan. You were wrecked. Hair a mess, your face streaked with tears, your skin slick with sweat and hot with arousal. His tongue, hot and wet, comes out and swirls around the pebbled flesh of your nipple, teasing you, and his fingers dig into your skin as he goes back for more, nibbling the whole breast.

Then he lifts his head and dragged his mouth on your neck until he reached your ear where he whispered, “Come for me like the slut you are.” Jungwon pinched your nipples and fucked his fingers into you with the hardest thrust yet, and you exploded, your mouth falling open in a soundless scream while your cunt strangled his fingers. Pulling him in more, he winced.

“Fuck—Cunt’s gripping me so tight like you don’t want me to let go. Yeah? Fuck, doll.” He watches as you shudder under him, your release slipping down your thighs and onto the mattress.

He didn’t give you any time to recover before he lowered his head again and gently scraped his teeth over your clit before he sucked on it. Between that and the finger fucking, You were dripping all down your thighs, and he lapped every drop up like a man starved. So fucking delicious.

Air fled your lungs when his tongue delved inside your slick heat as his head twisted, dragging a cry of pleasure from you as one fang grazed your sensitive nub of flesh. The strokes of his tongue were firm and determined.

He licked and sucked. “Shit, look at this, off-limits yet still dripping for me.” Then he feasted, feeding from you as desperately as he had at your throat. You were lost. Your body tried to follow, but the hands at your hips held you in place.

“Stay still. Let me eat, this is a twelve course meal—I won’t stop until i’m satisfied.”

Jungwon grabs your ass as he licks a stripe down from your hole, spreading them open with his tongue to find your clit. He rolls it between his lips, and finally finds a spot that had you bucking your face into his mouth. He pulls back just enough to say—“Want you dripping for me, soaked in every fucking drop.”

You whine loudly, “Gonna devour you, gonna kneel infront of you and eat you out until you can’t fucking remember how to breathe.” He growls into you, yanking your hips down onto the mattress with his strength, leaving you nowhere to go, all you can do is just lay there like a good girl and take what he gives you.

You screamed as white-hot pleasure blazed through you once more, Every thought and memory incinerated, leaving only mind-numbing pleasure in their wake. You come in a toe-shuddering state on his tongue, and jungwon wastes no time gulping it all down till his chin and nose is shoving into your hole, like he’s the one getting off of this. He pulls back to breathe, and gasps against your cunt so much you think he might actually suffocate. “Fuckfuckfuck, so fucking good—shit, baby.” Then goes back to dip his face into your pussy, enveloping all he can get with his mouth, You bet his chin is covered by your essence because he’s literally nuzzling his face into you. And your screaming so loud that you think you know your throat would be sore tomorrow.

You didn't get a chance to catch your breath before Jungwon draped your legs over his shoulders, went back to sucking hard on your clit, and you yelped at the overload of sensation. It was too much. You tried to pull away, but his hands clamped around your thighs like iron bands, forcing you to hold still until your body convulsed and came apart. "I said, eyes on me. All you need to do is watch me eat this beautiful fucking cunt until you understand just how much I want you—have wanted you." Jungwon growled.

All you could feel was how he was sucking on your pussy and thrusting his tongue inside you until your vision went hazy. You writhed and whimpered, sliding halfway off the bed—almost, until your legs on his shoulders and his crushing grip on your ass were the only things keeping you from falling apart.

You cry out—his name, you think and he groans against you like he needs this as badly as you do. He takes his time. Alternates teasing and giving. One finger inside you, Then two, Curled just right. His tongue never stops, never lets up. You’re shaking, begging, on fire. Your thighs tremble around his head.

As his tongue works you in destructive, tormenting circles, you feel his voice in your mind. “Am obsessed with this pretty cunt—Can’t—can’t stop, fuck—” Jungwon moans against you, drunk on you, the sound vibrating all over your body. He pumps his fingers with rhythm to his mouth, You’re close again—what the fuck—you don’t even know if your orgasm even stopped.

After another three orgasms courtesy of his mouth, You lose count, and even when you think you can't possibly come again, he wrenches even more from you.

"No more," You sob, unable to even prop yourself up on your arms to look down at him. Instead, you pull at his hair until he finally wraps his hands near your inner thighs, looking up at you, "But I felt you squeeze my tongue as you came, like you were milking it. My cock is jealous." He licks up the fluid on your thighs and groans. "Don't you want to feel me deep inside you? How hard and thick I am, stretching you, making you full?" Jungwon says, sucking your clit in a gentle suckle, and you cry out when you feel his teeth tugging your entrance, flicking and rubbing one last time before he pulls off of you with a wet pop after hollowing his cheeks around it at last.

Jungwon pulls back, finally releasing his hold on you, and the sudden absence of his touch makes your body feel weak. Drained. Like everything in you has been wrung out. You’re trembling slightly, breath uneven—from all the previous orgasms.

He shifts onto one knee above you, steady and composed in contrast to how wrecked you feel. Your vision is blurred with tears, lashes damp, the aftershocks of how good he fucked you still making it hard to focus. You can’t quite look at him properly.

“Eyes up here, doll.” Jungwon smiles wickedly, his stare burning into you and you meet his gaze. With one hand, he skims his thick tip, letting his hand slide over his cheft. He doesn't let you look away once as he works himself over. “Touch yourself, show me how you do it.” He smirks and licks your wetness off his fingers slowly.

You gulp and your fingers reach to your swollen pussy, you wince, You were so wet that your fingers were slipping. Then you slowly rub them in circles, the sound of your fingers working you open hits him first, then your scent—Fuck me. That smell—He can taste you in the air like he’s already inside you.

Your stomach ripples when he takes your panties from the floor, Jungwon grunts as he picks up the pace, angling his wrist and sliding the bunched-up panties up and down his shaft. “Tell me.” He grunted, “Who do you think of when your fingers fucking your tight cunt?” You shuddered as your head tilted back and your eyes fluttered close. “You.”

You hear jungwon moaning, the sound of his hands stroking his length up and down echoes in the room with your sound of whimpering. “What am i doing to you?” You moaned even louder, you don’t know when Jungwon closed the distance between you both and griped your chin in one hand, forcing your lips to part. “What. am. I. doing. to. you?” His voice only lowered further, “Fucking me.” you gasped. He was now close enough to smell your arousal and hear the slick sounds of your fingers sliding in and out of your pussy. “While I'm bent over the table and I can see you behind me in the mirror. Pulling my hair. Taking me from behind. Filling me with your cock."

You admit it, because it’s the truth. Every time Jungwon looked at you longer than he should, something inside you snapped tight. It made you want to cross the room and crash your mouth against his, reckless and unthinking, just to feel something real. That’s how far gone you were—crazy over him, crazy over this, crazy over whatever the hell he did to you without actually touching you.

It was humiliating. And intoxicating.

You never thought he’d drag it out of you like this, force the confession from your lips in such a raw, stripped-down way—but fuck, it was hot. The way he watched you unravel.

You didn’t care anymore. Not about pride. Not about consequences. You only knew that you wanted more. And more. And more. And fuck he wasn’t even inside you yet.

“You’ve got such a filthy mouth, maybe i should do something about it hmm?” Jungwon gripped your wrist, stopping your moments, forcing you still. “Get on your knees, now.” You did, who are you to disobey? You almost limp when you get and sink down the floor. Jungwon’s cock throbbed at the sight under him. You, kneeling on the floor with your legs tucked underneath you. Knees together, body upright. You looked so beautiful it made his chest hurt. God, he didn’t deserve you.

“I’m going to fuck you exactly how you need to be fucked.” He fisted your hair and tugged it back until you were staring up at him. “Tap my thigh if it’s too rough.” You nodded to which he said, “Open your mouth.” Jungwon slipped the tip of his cock inside your mouth, until he buried himself all the way down your throat.

“Fuckkkk.” His moan was rough, echoing through the room, Probably the whole damn house. He didn't care. The entire world centered on the feel of your mouth, the slide of your tongue as you kept moving your head, working him with artful perfection. But he kept myself still. he didn't tug on your hair. He didn't fuck your mouth. Not yet.

You blinked up at him, eyes watering at his size, he was so big you gagged with only half of his dick in your mouth. You trap him inside your mouth, flicking your tongue over the ridges of his digits, started licking and sucking—slowly at first, but quickly building up to a rhythm that had you bobbing your head up and down his dick. “That’s it, suck that cock like a good little whore.” He fisted your hair and used it as a leverage to yank you down on his length more causing you to gag as you hallow your mouth around his digits.

Slowly, he started thrusting himself into you, faster and faster until the only sounds were his ragged breath mixed with you chocked-gurgling. “That’s a good slut, good fucking girl—just there—shit.” He withdrew until just the tip remained and plunged down in one sharp thrust. You gagged again, new puddle of tears falling down your cheeks, the heat in your belly stoking hotter.

“Everytime i’m not with you, i want you to think about this.” He groaned, “You on your knees, gagging on every inch of my cock while i ruin your tight little throat.” You whimpered, your nipples and pussy were so sensitive and he started fucking your mouth so mercilessly, all you could do was try suck in breaths through your nose before jungwon bottomed out again. “Fuck doll, let me hear you struggle.”

You squirmed and tried to ease the ache in your jaw, but he was so big. Eventually, however, when your throat opened up, and he was able to slide even deeper into your mouth.

“That's it.” Jungwon rasped, “Every inch, just like that, i knew you could take it.” You moaned at the praise, You couldn't see properly through the tears clouding your vision, but the buzz between your legs had grown too loud for you to ignore. But you couldn’t as he slammed his hips forward so hard, your whole body jerked back at the impact.

You claw at his thighs, finally rolls his hips once, twice— and then, with one last powerful thrust, he lets go, coming inside your mouth. You choke, swallowing hard as his hips tremble against your face. “Good fucking girl.” Jungwon yanked himself out of your mouth.

"Your mouth looks so pretty full of my cum." He squats down, swiping two fingers across your tongue, dragging them over your chin and throat. He continues the descent down your chest, circling each one of your. nipples, leaving a glistening trail of moisture in his wake. "Bet your tight little cunt would look even better filled up."

He lifted you up and threw you on the bed, and pushed your legs wider with his knee. His hands come down to touch your aching, overstimulated pussy, and you jolt. Even the slightest touch of him is way too fucking much right now. You grip his biceps, “Please…” Jungwon laughs, low and vicious, “You want to serve me, doll? you want me to fuck you?” You barely nod, you catch a glint of smth dark in his eyes, as jungwon rubbed his thumb over your entrance, He smirked before his palm landed where his thumb had been. Delivering a sharp slap right to the centre of your aching core.

Your whole body jerked and you spiked with pain-pleasure so hard you instinctively tried to scoot away from his hold, but Jungwon yanked you to him by your ankles, glaring. “You’re so wet, baby. Did sucking my cock make you this wet? You filthy, filthy girl.” Jungwon removed his hand, “Who does your pussy belong to?” He asked, snd you whispered “You..” While griping the sheets so hard your knuckles turned white. “Say it again.” Jungwon said, and your voice broke out in a sob before he delivered another slap to your clit.

“Hmm yeah, That’s right, me.” Slap! “This is for all the times you ignored me.” Slap! “Fuck, you’re so wet, doll.” Slap! “All for me, yeah?” Slap! You were shaking, completely sobbing as razor sharp sensation spiked through you. “And this…” The hardest one of them all, the one which made you arch your back off the bed, Slap! “Is for driving me fucking crazy.”

A pleading sob fell out of your mouth when Jungwon yanked your head so that his mouth hovered near your ear “Tell me why i can’t stop thinking about you, hmm? What the fuck do you do to me, doll?” You shake your head, unable to form a response or make sense of the pain and pleasure ricocheting you.

“You’re mine, been mine since i saw you.” Slap! “You live in my head all the fucking time, even if i don’t want you to…And god, i want to punish you for driving me so damn insane. Every. Single. Day.” Jungwon’s low snarl rumbled down your spine and made your toes curl. You heard the faint tear of a foil wrapper, You didn’t say anything nor did you say a word when he positioned you over his cock.

You blink, looking down, your mouth sliding agape, gaze held where his cock is covering almost your entire stomach. “What the fuck…” You whisper, “Don’t worry, it’ll fit.” He gives himself a few long pumps, “Your tight pussy will take and love every second of it.”

He says then leans down to kiss your neck, “So, how much do you want, baby?” His lips brush past the corner of your mouth, “Seven inches, eight, or all nine?” He pushes inside slowly, the care and smugness in his voice sends a shiver through you. “All of it.” You say, your voice trembling with need. He slides in what feels like another inch, the stretch is so much it makes your head fall back.

“I can feel how wet you are, already soaking my cock with this perfect pussy.” He let you adjust first because Jungwon was so fucking big, it was literally painful. “Hold the sheets.” That was the last warning he gave you before thrusted inside, driving so deep and hard into your pussy with each upward thrust. You were so wet he slid in almost frictionlessly. He could feel your pussy stretching and struggling to take his size.

You cried out, Your mind emptying of any thoughts except the sensation of his cock pounding into you and the slide of his skin against yours. He captured your cry when he pulled you down and thrusted up. Your eyes snapped open, and your breath caught at the sudden stretch, pleasure.

The headboard of the bed banged against the wall with each thrust. Your eyes fluttered close from the sheer overload of sensation, “Gonna fuck you over and over until you’re so full of my cum, you can’t think about anything but me stretching you open.”

Your eyes flew open when jungwon gave your hair another sharp tug, “Open your eyes, Y/n.” His other hand gripped your throat harder. It felt horrifyingly right, like you were made to wear his fingers around your neck.

You were prepped enough yes, but nothing could've prepared you for what happened. He struck as fast as a viper, sinking his fangs deep into your throat at the same moment he thrust into you. The twisting shock of pain and pleasure stole your breath and fixed your wide eyes on the ceiling—his eyes burned through yours as he resumed his thrust, feeding his cock into you inch by inch until he was buried to the hilt.

He moved from your neck and tugged gently at yours earlobe with his teeth, “Whose cock, doll?” He asks, “Yours.” You whimpered and managed to say it , but even that faded into a string of moans when Jungwon picked up the pace and settled into a punishing rhythm. “Knew you’d take me beautifully, baby. You were made for this cock.” You’re close; He can tell by the way your writhing below him, by the way your breath hitches when the end of his cock brushes against your G-spot, by the way your face twists with ecstasy when he gets deeper.

He removed the hand cradling your head and slips it between you, thumb rubbing against your swollen bundle of nerves until your whole body is arching and your jaw drops. “Scream for me, sweetheart.” The wet and filthy sounds of his dick pumping into you was enough to let him know you were super close. But he wanted to hear you longer.

The volume of your moans grew louder, but you held back. “Come for me, doll.” His mouth grazed your lips, “And when i tell you to scream, I want you to fucking scream. Or i’ll bend you over and spank your ass raw until you beg me to let you scream.” A wicked smile replaces his expression when he feels you clench around his cock.

"You're such a greedy stut. Pushing me past my limits, making me fuck this cunt harder than I want to. You love this, don't you? Are you going to come all over my cock, Doll?” Jungwon snarls, You moan at the feeling of fullness, a small bulge visible on your lower stomach, poking out, Jungwon reaches and presses against it so hard, you cry out in pain. “Shit—look, so fucking full, stuffed full of my cock, you like this, don’t you?”

Your entire body tightens as you cry his name into his shoulders, nail sinking into his back so deep he’d be surprised if you hadn’t drawn blood. “Gonna fill you with so much of my cum it leaks out of your body—Fuck, you’re going to feel me tomorrow.” Jungwon pounded you into the mattress, his thrusts so rough the bedsprings squeaked.

A tingling sensation blossomed at the base of your spine. You reached up to play with your nipples, your breaths coming out in short pants. You were close. So close. You were going to—

Ring ring ring!

The ring of a incoming call stopped the both of you followed by a Jungwon’s voice. "Hello?" Your eyes flew open. You gaped at Jungwon, who stared down at you with a calm expression as he listened to whoever was on the other end of the call. “Yeah, what’s up? Yeah, No, she’s not here.” Your mouth falls open as realisation hits you—It was heeseung, your freaking brother and Jungwon was still inside you. On the other end, Heeseung’s voice is loud even through the speaker. “Why did it take you so long to answer?”

Jungwon runs a hand through his hair, forcing his voice to stay normal. “Was in the kitchen. Didn’t hear it.” This was wrong, so fucking god in so many levels but fuck you could feel every hard inch of him buried between your thighs. You opened your mouth to tell him to cut the call but he shot you a warning look and pressed the fingers of his free hand into your hip, silencing you.

“You guys good?” Heeseung asks. “She locked the doors?” Jungwon glances at you for a split second. “Yeah. All good.”

“And y/n?” Your stomach drops. Jungwon doesn’t even hesitate. “She’s asleep.” Your eyes widen instantly, and unintentionally you grinded your hips up, desperate for more friction. This was so wrong but you cursed your brother for calling at the wrong time, You were about to come. His eyes flared and his grip tightened before he slid out of you slowly. He muted his end of the call and hauled you off the bed with one arm while he carried his phone in the other.

"What are you doing?" You wrapped your legs around his waist while heeseung, on the other end of the line kept talking, Jungwon put you next to the couch. "Bend over and spread your legs.” Oh my god, why was this turning you on even more? You trembled but obeyed, placing your hands on the armrest, arching your back, and spreading your legs until every inch of you was backed up on him.

Satisfaction curled in your stomach when you heard his sharp intake of breath. There’s shuffling on the other end. “Already? It’s not even that late.”

“She was tired,” Jungwon replies smoothly. “Knocked out like twenty minutes ago.” Another pause, You could see your reflection in the large glass window opposite the couch, Face flushed, Your breasts hanging heavy and full, the bite mark he gave you, Behind you, jungwon stood, he tilted his head and gave your ass a squeeze.

Your soft moan turned into a squeal when he slammed into you hard enough that the couch scraped forward an inch. “Don’t make a sound.” He warned. Heeseung starts speaking again, “Alright. I’ll probably be late. Maybe morning. Make sure everything’s locked.” There was smth about this that was turning you on so much, maybe knowing that your brother had no idea what was happening on the other side of the call.

Jungwon’s thrusts picked up his pace until you were no longer gripping the armrest, your face buried in the cushions, your rock hard nipples and swollen clit rubbing against the fabric as he fucked you so viciously your feet lifted off the ground. All the while, he continued his call, taking it off mute only when he had to speak. “Yeah. Got it.”

You had no clue what they were another talking about anymore, too lost in a fog of lust to make sense of anything. An unbidden yelp erupted from your throat when he hit a spot that caused your back to bow. Jungwon fisted your hair and tugged your head back until you were half-upright again, looking up at him with tear-filled eyes while his other hand closed around your throat. A warning and a reminder rolled into one. Don't make a sound.

“And Jungwon?” You could hear heeseung’s voice, “Yeah?” You were trying your best to stay quiet, you really were. Another sob of pleasure, one that had Jungwon releasing your hair so he could cover your mouth and muffle your whines.

So wrong. This was so wrong, but you couldn't bring yourself to care as Jungwon grabbed your shoulder and arched your spine backwards, bending you nearly in half. “Mmhph pffh!” You moaned against his mouth before you hear your brother speaking again.

“If anything happens, call me.” A beat. “Nothing’s happening,” Jungwon says looking at the reflection of you in the mirror, Your cry of release drenched the air, but muffled by his hands as you came in a shuddering, toe-curling orgasm that vibrated against his body.

Heeseung hums suspiciously. “Okay. Night.”

“Night.” The call ends. The second the screen goes dark, he releases your mouth, “That’s the good girl, didn’t i tell you to not make a noise?” Jungwon fucked you harder, deeper, the couch screaming with protest—it had slid halfway across the floor by now, “Or did you want your brother to hear how good im fucking you.” When you couldn’t respond, he chuckled, “That’s right, i’m the only one who gets to hear how much you love my cock in this tight pussy.” Another louder whimper. Your cunt clamped around him even tighter than the first time, and a building orgasm ripped through him with such sudden, unexpected force it rendered him speechless for a moment.

“I’m the only one who gets to see you like this.” His voice turned harsh, “You.” Thrust! “belong.” Thrust! “to.” Thrust! “Me.” Thrust! He whispers low, You were on fire, skin blazing, tears and drool pooling on the couch beneath you, but it all burned so nicely you never wanted to stop and Jungwon didn’t, instead he kept fucking into you until your next orgasm rolled in. He feels so damn good, all hard and full and gliding in and out in confident thrusts that make you keen. Slower, then building up, up, up until it crashed over you.

“Such a good little slut, ass out, pussy filled just the way i liked it—damnit.” And when Jungwon finished with you, You’d come so hard so many times you were a boneless wreck at this point. You slumped forward on the couch, collapsing.

You both lay there, breaths heavy in the sudden quiet, before he pushed himself off you and tossed his condom in the nearby trashcan.

You watched him in silence, the whatever the fuck you did hitting you. You’d had sex with Yang Jungwon, Your brother’s best friend, your ultimate crush. Not just any sex, Hard, toe curling, brain-melting sex. Sex where you begged for more and more and still feel it in the after effects.

Oh my god. Your stomach dropped. What have i done?

The room is quiet in a different way now.

“She’s asleep?” you whisper harshly. He looks at you, then at the phone, then back at you. “What was I supposed to say?” he mutters. “That i’m buried balls deep inside your sister?” You shove his shoulder. “Yah!” He exhales slowly, tension creeping back in. “Exactly,” he says quietly. And suddenly the room feels ten times more dangerous.

After minutes of silence, The air feels different. The kind of silence where both of you are replaying what just happened, frame by frame.

You’re lying side by side, staring at the ceiling. Your fingers are loosely intertwined, almost absentmindedly, like neither of you consciously decided to hold hands. You clear your throat first. “So.” He huffs softly beside you. “So.”

You turn your head slightly to look at him. His hair’s messy, eyes still adjusting to the dim light, expression unreadable. “Do you regret it?” you ask, softer than you intended. He doesn’t answer immediately. Then he turns to face you fully. “No,” he says simply.

You study his face for signs of doubt. There aren’t any. “Do you?” he asks back. You shake your head. The silence that follows next is comfortable, surprisingly. Just two people lying too close, pretending their hearts aren’t beating a little louder than usual.

After a while, he nudges your shoulder lightly. “We’re still alive. That’s good.” You snort. “Barely.”He smiles faintly at that, and the tension eases.

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯—

Morning comes too quickly and it’s worse. Not because you woke up alone. Wait. Alone? Was it a dream? Did you imagine the whole thing? What the fuck? Your eyes snap to the digital clock on the nightstand. 9:03. Shit. You’ve been out for too long.

You push the sheets off and sit up, moving slowly. You climb out of bed and head to the bathroom to wash your face, cold water helping you wake up. When you straighten and take a step, you immediately regret it. Because no—it wasn’t a dream.

The dull, aching soreness in your lower half answers that question for you. You try walking normally, but your legs feel weak, unsteady, so you end up limping slightly, putting more weight on the one that hurts less. Every step reminds you of last night.

Then you hear it—the faint clatter of dishes downstairs. And something smells good. Really good. You follow the sound and the scent, moving carefully down the stairs.

And there he is. Jungwon. In your kitchen. Shirtless. Cooking. Like he belongs there. You stop at the bottom of the stairs and just stare. Holy fuck.

Something shifts inside you—sudden. Like you’ve just unlocked a kink you didn’t even know you had. Because you can’t think of a single thing sexier than a man standing in your kitchen, bare chested, moving like he owns the fucking place. The slow roll of his shoulders, the flex in his back when he reaches for something—it does something filthy to your brain.

And it’s not just any man. It’s Jungwon. Which makes it ten times worse. Ten times hotter. Ten times more dangerous.

You shouldn’t be looking at him like this. Shouldn’t be imagining the heat of his skin under your hands while he stands there so casually, like he isn’t ruining you just by existing.

But fuck. He looks sinful.

The sculpted muscles of his back flexed as he reached for the salt beside the stove, every movement slow and deliberate without him even trying. His hair was more tousled than usual, soft strands falling over his forehead like he’d just rolled out of bed and decided to ruin you for the rest of the day. Sunlight streamed through the windows, washing over his skin and turning it into something warmer—bronzed, almost glowing.

A strip of black sweats sat low on his hips, just visible enough to be distracting. The fabric clung in all the wrong-right ways, riding low enough to make your imagination spiral straight into dangerous, very X-rated territory.

You watched him in silence, caught off guard by the quiet ease in the way he moved. There was nothing rushed about him—every motion smooth, almost effortless. You’d always imagined he survived on pizza and beer the way he did back in school, careless and lazy about anything domestic.

But this? This was different.

It was attractive. So fucking attractive. He was attractive. The kind that made it hard to look away, even when you knew you probably should.

Shamelessly, You ogled at his body, watching as the muscles worked beneath the skin. At least, it was shameless until he turned around and caught you staring.

He tilted his head when he caught you and let out a low chuckle. “Morning, doll.” Heat rushed straight to your face. “M-morning,” you managed, hating the way your voice betrayed you. Fuck my life.

His smile only widened at that—Slow. He raised a brow, eyes dragging over you in a way that made your stomach flip. “You look a little flushed, doll. You sick?” A pause. Then, softer—teasing. “Or was last night too much for you?”

The smirk that followed was downright criminal. God. This ridiculously hot, cocky, infuriating bastard. “Shut up,” you shot back, way too fast. “My vibrator does a better job on its lowest setting than you.” The words leave your mouth before your brain can catch them. Oh no.

Too much. Way too much information. And definitely too rude. Jungwon’s eyes blazed hotter, something sharp flashing behind them. “Oh yeah?” he says quietly.

He closes the distance in a few steps, stopping right in front of you. He looks down, fingers coming up to grip your chin, forcing your gaze to stay on him. “That so?” His voice dips lower. “Funny. I remember someone begging me let her come.”

Your eyes widen. Heat floods your face again as you swat his hand away and quickly move past him, hopping up onto the kitchen counter instead. You cross your arms like that’ll do anything to save your dignity. Jungwon just smiles. Not a big smile. Just that satisfied curve of his lips that clearly says, I win. God, he’s such a jerk.

He goes back to the stove like nothing happened, plates the food, and sets one in front of you before taking the seat across from you. The two of you eat in silence. He’s still shirtless. And you’re painfully, incredibly aware of it.

“So..” You start, breaking the silence. Heart beating too loud. “So,” he echoes. “That happened….” Jungwon snorts at that.

“Yeah.” You rub your face with your hands. “Okay, we need to talk.” His shoulders tense slightly. “About what?” He questions, placing his spoon down. “About the fact that you’re my brother’s best friend.” He winces. “Ah. That.”

“Yes, that.” He turns to face you fully. “I’m aware.”You gulp, “If he finds out, he will actually bury you somewhere.”

“Probably.” You nod seriously. “So we need… structure.” He blinks. “Structure.” You repeat, “Yes.”

“Are we starting a company?”

“Shut up.” You fidget with your fingers, trying to organize your thoughts, which are not cooperating. Because here’s the problem: You’re not pretending it didn’t mean anything. It did, obviously. And you’re far too gone to act like you can just go back to normal.

Because if this was what it took—if this was the price for him standing closer, talking to you like this, looking at you like you were something he wanted—then you’d take it. You’d take all of it. Even if it meant sneaking around. Even if it meant doing things you swore you’d never do. Even if it meant this could shatter you later.

You don’t care. Not when it’s Jungwon.

He’s been your crush for years, and somewhere along the way that harmless, stupid little crush twisted into something darker. Something heavier. You weren’t just into him—you were fucking obsessed. Obsessed with the way he made your stomach drop just by saying your name. Obsessed with the way his eyes lingered a second too long. Obsessed with the way he could ruin your entire mood—or fix it—with one look.

It screamed bad idea. It screamed don’t do this. It screamed you’re going to regret it. But you craved it anyway.

When did you get this far gone? When did wanting him turn into needing him? When did you start justifying every reckless thought with a quiet, desperate it’s worth it? Fuck. This is such a bad idea.

And the worst part? You’re the one that started this.

You finally turn back to him. “We should set rules.” He stares at you like you’ve just proposed a legally binding contract. “Rules,” he repeats slowly. “Yes.” He crosses his arms. “This sounds dangerous.”

Hey, don’t look at me like that. Yes, it was stupid. Obviously it was stupid. But “rules” after sex? That could only mean one thing, and you knew it. You knew it the second the word even formed in your head.

The only reason you were spiraling like this was because you didn’t want it to be a one-time thing. You didn’t want to wake up and have it reduced to a mistake. You wanted more. More of him. More of the way he looked at you like you were something he’d been holding back from touching for years. More of the way he made you feel wanted—like you weren’t just the annoying little sister in the background.

And the way he fucked you yesterday? That alone was enough to make your body crave him all over again. It wasn’t just physical. It was the intensity. The way he said your name. The way he lost control. That doesn’t feel like something casual. It can’t be.

But you can’t just walk up to him and ask him to be your boyfriend. God, you don’t even know if he actually likes you like that. Maybe it was just heat. Maybe it was just tension snapping after years of pretending it wasn’t there.

And then there’s the biggest problem of all. He’s your brother’s best friend. That fact alone should’ve been enough to stop you. Enough to make you back off, put distance between you, pretend nothing happened.

Instead, here you are, hoping these aren’t “rules.” Hoping he doesn’t tell you this can’t happen again. Because if he does? You don’t know how you’re supposed to go back to pretending you don’t want him.

You finally snap out of thought and reply back, “It’s practical.” He raises an eyebrow. “You’ve never been practical in your life.” You scoff, “Excuse me?” You raise your eyebrows, “You told Jake to shut the fuck up yesterday.”

“He deserved it.” He chuckles, shaking his head. “Fine. What are these rules?” You hold up a finger. “One. Only sex. Nothing else.” He studies you carefully at that. Just looking. “Okay,” he says after a beat.

“Two,” you continue, pretending your heart isn’t beating slightly faster, “no catching feelings.” That one lingers. Jungwon tilts his head slightly, then lets out a quiet laugh.

“You’d end up falling for me before I ever do, doll.”You narrow your eyes immediately. “In your dreams.” He steps closer, just enough to make it irritating. “You’re already halfway there.”

“You’re delusional.”

“You’re defensive.” You push his shoulder lightly. “Shut up.” He grins, but there’s something careful in his expression now. Because you both know the truth. This isn’t casual. It never was. You didn’t fight this hard for “nothing.” You didn’t spend weeks pushing and pulling just to treat it like a random accident.

Suddenly you blink at Jungwon and hold out your hand. “Pass me the pen and paper.” He frowns instantly. “What? Where did that even—why?”

You roll your eyes and click your tongue. “Just give it to me.” He reaches across the table and slides the pen and notepad over to you. His brows stay slightly furrowed as he leans back in his chair, arms folding over his chest while he watches you.

You don’t explain. You just start writing. Jungwon tilts his head, eyes narrowing as he tries to read it upside down. “What are you doing?” You ignore him, focused, lips pressed together in concentration as the pen moves across the page.

He exhales through his nose, half amused, half concerned. “Why do I feel like I should be worried?”

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯—

Friends With Benefits Rules (According to Two People Who Are Already in Too Deep)

1. It’s just physical.

(No lingering looks. No remembering the exact way he says “doll.” Strictly physical. Obviously. Sure.)

2. No catching feelings.

(They both caught feelings years ago. This rule is decorative.)

3. No jealousy.

(If Jungwon talks to another girl, y/n does not care. If y/n laughs at another guy’s joke, Jungwon absolutely does not glare.)

(They both will fail this immediately.)

4. No sleepovers.

Unless it’s “too late.”

5. No talking about the future.

No “what are we?” No “what if someone finds out?”

(Denial is key)

6. No bringing up the brother.

That topic does not exist. The word “Heeseung” is banned within a 5km radius.

7. No acting like a couple in public.

No subtle touches. Just here and there sometimes…..is fine.

8. Most important rule:

If either of them says, “This was a mistake,” The other one is allowed to kiss them mid-sentence.

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯—

Jungwon stares at the list like it has personally offended him. His eyes scan each line slowly, jaw tightening for a second before he suddenly lets out a laugh—head thrown back, shoulders shaking. A real one. Not the smug little huffs he usually gives you. A genuine, unguarded laugh.

And even though you’ve heard it before, it still melts something inside you every single time.

It’s beautiful.

He looks back at you, eyes still bright from laughing. “God,” he mutters, dragging a hand down his face, “this is going to be fun.” The way he says it makes you bite your lips.

Jungwon pushes his chair back and stands. You track every movement without meaning to—every step he takes until he’s right in front of you again. Too close.

Before you can react, his hand comes up and grips your jaw, rough, tilting your face up toward him. He leans down slowly, until his lips hover near your ear. The warmth of his breath sends a sharp shiver down your spine.

“Then let me add one more,” he murmurs. His grip tightens slightly, possessive. “No other man than me is allowed to touch you.” His voice drops lower. Darker. “Let alone even fucking look at you.”

You’re two people standing in front of something that’s already too big to pretend it doesn’t exist.

“I swear to God, doll, if I find out you’ve let some man touch you, I will deliver his hands to you in a box.” His voice doesn’t rise. It drops colder.

“And I do not. Fucking. Bluff.” He means it.

There’s no playful edge to it, no teasing smirk softening the threat. The kind that settles heavy in your chest. Jungwon wasn’t the type to make empty promises. If anything, he undersold what he was capable of.

He was crazy over you—crazy enough to rip the eyes out of anyone who dared look too long, or who had the privileges to even look at you. You were his. You had been from the moment he first saw you standing in your own living room, too young to realize the weight of the way he stared.

From that day on, something in him decided and you never even noticed.

You didn’t know that he kept track of you. Not in an obvious way. Not in a way that would set off alarms. But he knew things, things like your schedule, your friends or the names of people you talked to. He knew about your past relationship—every detail of it. And when he found out your ex had put his hands on you the wrong way? Something in him snapped.

He had wanted to kill him, actually kill him.

Jungwon was obsessed. Far more than you ever were. What you felt was infatuation, craving, heat. What he felt was possession. It wasn’t just obsession. It was maddening.

You didn’t know there were eyes tracking your movements, memorizing your patterns, noting who stood too close. They were his. Always his. And in his mind, none of this was twisted instead he called it romantic because he cared. Because he protected what was his.

Jungwon was a very, very dangerous man. You just had no idea.

You tilt your head slightly, forcing a small smirk onto your face despite the way your pulse stutters. “Jealous?” you murmur. “I’m pretty sure I wrote a rule that said ‘no jealousy.’” You look up at him, challenging.

God, you have no idea what you’re stepping into. This is going exactly how he wants it to.

Jungwon bites his lower lip slowly, his tongue pressing against the inside of his cheek as he studies you. There’s something calculating in his gaze now. Darker.

“No one is allowed to touch what I’ll be touching,” he says quietly. “I don’t share.” Your stomach drops at the certainty in his tone.

“Mmh?” you hum, forcing lightness you don’t fully feel. “And how exactly would you know who’s touching me?” His lips curl. “I have my ways.”

You raise a brow, scoffing softly. “What are you, a stalker?” He steps closer. Too close. His shadow swallowing you whole. “I’m worse, y/n.” Jungwon replies, There’s no smile this time. Just truth. His grip on your chin tightens, enough to hurt.

“Till then,” he murmurs, voice low and steady, “you’ll be my dirty little secret.”

His thumb drags slowly along your lower lip, eyes locked onto yours like he’s memorizing the way your breathing changes, the way your pupils dilate. There’s something possessive in the way he looks at you—like he’s already decided your place and is just waiting for you to realize it too.

“A secret,” he repeats softly, almost to himself. “Hidden where no one can see. No one can touch.” His jaw tightens slightly. “They don’t get to have you,” he says, quieter now. “They don’t even get to know.” The air feels heavier.

“And when I’m ready,” he adds, leaning closer, his forehead almost brushing yours, “I’ll decide what you are to me.”

He presses a quick kiss to your forehead—soft, almost tender. Then another to your lips. And just like that, he pulls away, leaving you there, breath uneven, head spinning. What the fuck was that?

You’re still trying to process it when his voice cuts through your thoughts. “Oh,” he says casually, already halfway across the room. “Your brother will be here soon.” Your heart stutters.

He glances back over his shoulder, eyes glinting with something dangerous. “Wouldn’t want him knowing what I did to you, right?” His gaze drops pointedly to your neck. You follow it. And your breath catches.

Your skin is a mess of marks—dark, blooming bruises scattered across your throat and trailing downward. Some are deep purple, almost black at the center, fingerprints of his mouth pressed into you. Others are red and raw, teeth-shaped crescents that overlap and blend into flushed skin. Faint smudges of pink and angry crimson trace along your collarbone, disappearing beneath the neckline of your shirt.

They aren’t subtle. They’re possessive. Proof.

Your fingers hover over one of the darker bruises, and even the light touch makes your skin throb. The marks continue lower, scattered across the curve of your chest, layered like he couldn’t decide where to claim you first.

Jungwon watches your reaction with quiet satisfaction. “I look good on you,” he murmurs.

Then he turns away again, leaving you standing there with your pulse racing and his imprint burned into your skin.

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯—

By afternoon, the house feels different. It’s 4:30 in the afternoon. The sun hangs low. Light stretches across the living room floor in long rectangles, catching dust in the air and turning it soft. The sun beginning to dip. Evening inching closer.

You’ve both freshened up—covered what needed to be covered, fixed your hair. The marks on your neck are hidden under a hoodie now, though you’re hyper-aware of them, like they’re still glowing beneath the fabric.

When the door swings open and Heeseung walks in with his friends, their noise fills the house quickly. Laughter, them kicking their shoes off. Familiar chaos.

You’re seated on the couch by then, legs tucked under you, time to act normal. Jungwon sits at the other end, relaxed, scrolling on his phone like he hasn’t ruined you less than twelve hours ago.

Heeseung drops onto the armchair. Jay and the others spread out—some on the floor, some leaning against the wall. The conversation flows easily. You join in, teasing, arguing.

It feels almost normal. Almost. Jay notices it first.

The way Jungwon’s eyes keep drifting toward you, glance when you laugh, then a slow look when you shift positions, faint tightening of his jaw when you lean too close to one of the guys to hear them better. Jay catches it.

And then he catches you doing the same thing.

The way your eyes flicker to Jungwon when he speaks, the way your posture straightens when he moves, the way there’s a split second too much eye contact whenever your gazes meet.

It’s subtle but not to him. It’s obvious to Jay. Probably obvious to everyone in the room except you and Heeseung. Jay leans back into the couch, eyes narrowing slightly as he studies Jungwon.

“Hey,” he says casually, cutting into whatever story Heeseung was telling. “Jungwon.” Jungwon doesn’t look away from you immediately. That’s the first mistake.

Then Jungwon blinks and shifts his gaze to Jay. “What?” Jay tilts his head. “You good?” Jungwon frowns faintly. “Yeah. Why?” Jay shrugs. “You look distracted.” There’s a beat of silence.

Sunghoon snorts. “He’s always distracted.” Jay doesn’t laugh though, His eyes stay on Jungwon. “Not like this,” he says lightly. Jungwon’s expression doesn’t change, but something in his posture tightens. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Jay’s lips twitch. “Means you’ve been staring at the same spot for the past twenty minutes.” Your heart skips. Heeseung looks between them, confused. “What are you even talking about?”

“Nothing,” Jungwon answers smoothly. Jay hums. “Yeah. Nothing.” There’s a challenge in his tone. Jungwon meets his gaze, a look which means stop it.

Jay raises a brow slightly, lowering his voice just enough that it feels private, even in a crowded room. “You wanna tell me what’s going on?” Jungwon’s jaw shifts. “Nothing’s going on,” he repeats.

Jay studies him for another second, then leans in a little closer. “Right,” he says quietly. “Because the way you’re looking at y/n is totally friendly.” Jungwon’s expression hardens just a fraction. “Careful.” Jay smiles faintly. Not scared. Never scared of him. “That’s what I’m saying,” Jay replies. “You should be.” He leans back again, satisfied, but his eyes don’t leave Jungwon’s face.

Jay was a royal pain in Jungwon’s ass. Not just because he wasn’t afraid to push him—but because he was observant as fuck. He read people too well. And he knew Jungwon better than anyone in this room.

Better than you. And right now? Jay knows something’s changed. I mean, come on.

Jay had spent years around the both of you. Years of late nights, shared houses, random hangouts, He wasn’t stupid. He knew when something changed. And something had definitely changed.

He’d known for a long time that Jungwon had a thing for you, never obviously tho but it was there—in the way he’d go quiet when you entered a room, in the way his mood shifted depending on yours, in the way he watched more than he spoke.

Jay never asked him why, never asked him how it started, never even confronted him about it. He didn’t need to cause he saw it.

And, lowkey? He’d wanted it to happen. Wanted the two of you to just stop pretending and get together already. It made sense in his head. The tension had always been there, simmering under the surface. But wanting it and it being possible were two very different things.

Heeseung was a persistent bastard. Protective to a fault. A good brother—too good. The kind who would smile and joke around but would lose his mind if he thought someone crossed a line with his sister, you.

And if he found out what was happening between you and Jungwon? God. Jay genuinely didn’t know how that would go. Heeseung might surprise them. He might try to understand or he might not. It could swing either way.

And that uncertainty? That’s what made this whole thing dangerous.

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯—

Two Years Earlier — 5:40 PM

The café was warm, The soft hum of conversations and the hiss of the espresso machine filled the background. You sat across from Eunchae— Your bestfriend, your ride or die, your unpaid therapist, your brutally honest voice of reason. She was sharp-tongued but soft-hearted, the kind of girl who would drag you for your bad decisions and then hold your hand while you fixed them.

Eunchae watched you over the rim of her drink, “So,” she sang lightly, dragging the word out. “How’s your undying, embarrassingly persistent crush on Jungwon doing these days?” You shot her a glare. “Eunchae. My boyfriend is literally about to get here. Please shut up.”

She rolled her eyes dramatically and took another sip. “Girl. We both know you don’t love him for shit.” You exhaled slowly, staring down into your cup.

That wasn’t fair…but it also wasn’t wrong.

Your boyfriend—Soobin was perfect. Four years older, mature, handsome in that soft, comforting way. Polite to everyone, the kind of guy parents adored and the kind of guy girls envied you for having. Hey, you did like him. You did.

He was sweet, you know, remembered small details, held doors open, texted good morning every single day without fail. So why did your chest feel so heavy?

“Don’t say that,” you muttered. “I do like him.” Eunchae leaned forward. “Like isn’t love.” You swallowed.

The truth sat ugly in your throat. You felt pathetic. Truly pathetic. Because if you were honest with yourself, you hadn’t started dating Soobin because you were head over heels.

You started dating him because you were desperate, desperate to kill whatever you felt for Jungwon.

You thought maybe if you had someone else—someone good, someone safe—your stupid, reckless crush would finally die.

But it didn’t. It never did.

Jungwon still lingered in your mind at the worst times like a reminder, his stupid comments replaying in your head and every time you saw him, that spark never faded. Now you were stuck.

Stuck lying to Soobin, stuck lying to yourself. Playing the role of a good girlfriend while your heart was somewhere else entirely.

“I’m telling him today,” you said quietly. Eunchae blinked. “You’re breaking up with him?” You nodded once. She studied your face carefully. “Because you don’t love him?”

“Yes.” A pause. “…Or because you love someone else?” Your throat tightened. You didn’t answer.

Eunchae sighed softly. “You’re not a terrible person for feeling things. But you are if you keep stringing him along.”

“I know,” you whispered. “That’s why I have to end it. He deserves someone who actually loves him. Not someone who’s using him as a distraction.” The bell above the café door chimed.

You both turned. Soobin stepped inside, scanning the room until his eyes found you. His face immediately softened into a smile and the guilt hit you like a punch to the ribs.

Eunchae squeezed your hand under the table once. “Do it clean,” she murmured. “No half-truths.” You nodded, heart pounding as Soobin walked toward you. This was going to hurt him but dragging it out would hurt him more.

You couldn’t do it in there. Not with the café buzzing around you. Not with cups clinking and people laughing and Eunchae staring holes into the side of your head like she was trying to telepathically force you to grow a spine.

You sighed and shot her a look. Will you stop? She raised her brows innocently. I’m not doing anything. Just two best friends sharing the same dysfunctional brain cell. But this wasn’t something you could say with an audience.

So you stood up, forcing a small smile at Soobin. “Can we… talk outside?” He blinked, confused but agreeable. “Yeah, of course.”

You didn’t notice the two dark eyes watching you from across the street, didn’t notice the way they followed every step you took as you led Soobin out of the café and into the narrow alley beside it.

You stopped near a stained brick wall, the noise from the café muffled now. Your heart was pounding so loudly you were sure he could hear it.

You didn’t ease into it. You couldn’t. “Let’s break up, Bin.” The words landed heavy between you. Soobin frowned immediately. “What?” He let out a small laugh of disbelief. “Wha—why? What happened? Did I do something?”

Questions spilled out of him fast. You shook your head quickly. “No. You didn’t do anything. I just… I don’t love you anymore. And I don’t think this is right for me.” Silence.

You stared at the ground because you couldn’t look at him. You couldn’t bear to see the hurt. The disappointment. Then you heard it. A laugh.

Low, sharp, wrong, making your head snap up. He was laughing. “What the fuck is so funny?” you asked, confusion twisting into unease.

His smile didn’t reach his eyes. “You fucking bitch,” he muttered, the word landing like a slap. “Who said you get to break up with me, hm?”

Your stomach dropped. This wasn’t him. “What—” You didn’t get to finish. His hand shoved you back hard enough that your shoulders hit the brick wall. The impact knocked the air from your lungs. Before you could react, he planted both hands beside your head, caging you in.

“You don’t get to walk away like this,” he said, jaw tight. “After everything I’ve done for you?” Your pulse spiked. “Soobin, stop. You’re hurting me.”

“Oh, now I’m hurting you?” he scoffed. “After you’ve been playing me this whole time?” You grip his wrist, “I didn’t play you,” you shot back, panic rising. “I’m trying to be honest.”

“Honest?” His grip tightened around your arm. “Who is it?” Your brows furrowed. “What?”

“Who the fuck is it?” he demanded, leaning closer. “There’s someone else, right? That’s why.”

“There isn’t—” He cut you off by grabbing your jaw roughly, forcing your face to the side. His mouth pressed against your neck—not soft, not loving. His teeth sank into your skin hard enough to make you gasp.“Stop!” You shoved against his chest, but he was stronger.

Across the street, hidden in the shadow of a lamppost— Jungwon saw red. Literally.

His jaw clenched so tight it ached. His hands were fists at his sides, nails digging into his palms hard enough to break skin. Every muscle in his body locked.

He watched Soobin’s mouth on your neck. Watched the way you struggled. His breathing turned slow. “You don’t get to mark what’s mine.” Jungwon said in a whisper. The word mine didn’t even feel wrong in his head.

Don’t go. Not yet.

He repeated it in his head like a mantra.

Don’t go. Not yet.

He had been following you. Stalking you like a fucking predator. He told himself it was protection. That it was because he didn’t trust Soobin…. but standing there now, watching another man put his hands on you— He didn’t recognize himself.

You brought this out of him. This violent, possessive, unhinged part. You drove him crazy. He wanted to walk over there and drag Soobin off you, wanted to slam his face into the brick wall until his teeth shattered until no one could recognize him. And he would. Just not yet. Because he needed to see. Needed to know how far it would go.

Jungwon pulled a cigarette from his pocket with steady fingers and placed it between his lips. His eyes never left you.

He lit it. The flame flickered briefly in his dark eyes. He inhaled, once. Smoke curled from his mouth slowly as you finally managed to shove Soobin back with all your strength.

“Get the fuck off me!” you yelled, chest heaving. Soobin stumbled a step but didn’t fall. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, eyes wild.

“You think you’re better than me?” he spat. “You think someone else is going to want you?” Jungwon took another drag. Two. His gaze was no longer just angry, It was cold. His hands flexed at his sides when you stepped back.

“Oh baby… you’re gonna be mine soon.” The thought slid through his head slowly. He watched the way you tried to stay calm, the way you swallowed your fear and still chose honesty. God you looked beautiful.

“I’ll treat you so much better than he ever could”, he said darkly, eyes narrowing as Soobin’s hand grabbed your jaw. “Come to me, doll.”

He’d waited years. Watched you grow into yourself, watched how boys circled you like they had any right, watched you settle for someone safe when what you really needed was someone who would burn the world down for you.

Someone like him.

His gaze dragged over you like a claim already staked. “He doesn’t deserve to touch you. He doesn’t deserve to breathe the same air as you.”

‘I’ll give you everything’ he promised silently from across the street. ‘Everything you don’t even know you want. I’ll protect you. I’ll ruin anyone who tries to hurt you.’

Soobin stepped forward again, but this time you shoved him harder, panic giving you strength. “I said it’s over!” you snapped, voice shaking but loud. Across the street, Jungwon exhaled smoke slowly.

His eyes darkened further. That was enough. And finally—He started walking toward where you were.

Jungwon moves before he can think himself out of it. He pulls his hood up as he steps off the curb, the fabric shadowing his face. Halfway across the street, he slips a black mask over his mouth and nose, fingers steady despite the storm raging in his chest. You can’t know it’s him, not like this.

He takes one last drag from the cigarette, smoke burning down his throat, then flicks it away. It hits the pavement and dies out. That was the last clean second of his plan.

By the time he reaches the alley, Soobin’s hand is still gripping your arm. Jungwon doesn’t speak first. He grabs Soobin by the hair and yanks him back hard making you gasp.

Soobin stumbles, dragged off you so violently he nearly loses his footing. Before he can even process what’s happening, Jungwon’s fist connects with his jaw. The crack of it echoes against brick.

“Why are you harassing a girl?” Jungwon’s voice is distorted under the mask—lower, not recognisable. “Did your mom not teach you anything else?” Another punch.

Soobin’s head snaps to the side, blood already blooming at the corner of his lip. You’re frozen.

You don’t know who this man is. He has his hoodie up and mask on. He slaps Soobin once. Twice. Three times—sharp, humiliating, each one louder than the last.

Soobin lashes out blindly, kicking at his leg. “What the fuck—who are you?!” he shouts, panic breaking into his voice. The masked man chuckles darkly, “Your worst nightmare.”

The words drip with something that makes your stomach twist. For a brief second, his eyes lift, landing on you.

You can’t see them clearly under the shadow of his hood, but something about them makes you visibly tremble. There’s no softness there.

Just rage, His hand lifts again like he’s about to strike Soobin harder— And then it freezes mid-air. Because you’re looking at him. Not grateful but terrified.

His hand slowly lowers to his side. Inside his chest, something drops. Heavy.

You avert your gaze first, heart racing too fast, breath shallow. You don’t know why your body reacted that way. You don’t know why those eyes felt familiar. Jungwon stands there, fists clenched.

You are aware that you’re the only person in the world I’d never hurt, right?

The thought burns through him. He could ruin Soobin. He could break every bone in his face and feel nothing. But you? Your looking at him like he’s a monster.

And for the first time since he stepped into that alley— Jungwon wonders if maybe he is.

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯—

The room smells like smoke and rust. Soobin is tied to a chair, wrists bound tight behind him, ankles secured to the legs. His head lolls slightly before he jerks awake again, struggling against the restraints, panic finally settling in his bones.

Jungwon stands a few feet away, back turned. He pulls out another cigarette with slow, deliberate movements. Taps it against the box once then twice. Jungwon slips the cigarette between his lips.

Thumb flicking the lighter until a small flame blooms. He leans in, the tip igniting orange, and takes a slow drag. His chest rises quietly, shoulders barely moving as he lets the smoke fill his lungs. He inhales deeply, eyes closing as the smoke fills his lungs. He exhales through his nose, smoke spilling out in thin streams that curl around his face before fading into the air.

Then the chair scrapes loudly against the floor. “What the fuck do you want from me?!” Soobin shouts, voice cracking. Jungwon’s eyes snap open.

He exhales slowly through his nose, wincing at the volume. “Lower your voice,” he mutters. “You’re giving me a headache.” Soobin thrashes again. “You’re insane! Do you know who I am?!”

Jungwon lets out a quiet tsk, turning around at last. He walks forward unhurriedly, cigarette balanced between his fingers, smoke trailing behind him like it does in movies.

“You touched what was mine.” The words are soft. Soobin freezes. “What—what are you talking about? She’s not yours!” Jungwon stops directly in front of him and tilts his head, the movement is almost curious.

“How dare you kiss her in front of me?” he asks, as if genuinely confused by the audacity. Soobin’s breathing quickens. “I didn’t even know you were there—”

“Exactly.” Jungwon crouches down so they’re eye level. He grips Soobin’s jaw suddenly, fingers digging into his skin hard enough to make him wince. The cigarette hovers dangerously close to his face.

“You didn’t even know I was there,” Jungwon repeats quietly. The lit tip presses lightly against Soobin’s cheek—just enough to sting, to sear heat into skin without fully burning. Soobin jerks back with a strangled sound. “You’re fucking crazy!” he gasps. Jungwon’s lips twitch faintly. “I know.”

He stands again, dragging Soobin up by the hair this time. “I swore to myself,” Jungwon murmurs, leaning down close to his ear, “that I’d wipe out anyone who misbehaves with her.”

His grip tightens. “No one deserves her.” His voice drops lower. “Other than me.” Soobin looks up at him—and finally sees it. The madness in his eyes, If looks could kill, he’d already be dead. Soobin’s eyes tremble. Jungwon studies the fear for a moment and mesmerises it.

Then, without warning, he yanks Soobin forward by the hair and drives his knee hard into his face. The crack echoes in the room as soobin goes limp.

Jungwon releases him, letting his body slump against the restraints. Finally, he breathes out, closing his eyes. And there you are, In his mind. Smiling, laughing, looking up at him with that expression you don’t even realize you wear around him.

Jungwon could literally feel his cock hardening at the thought of you, he drags a hand down his face. Fuck, Even now, Even here. Holy mother of lord, He needed help.

Any sane person would’ve looked at him and said it outright—get therapy, get distance, get a grip. But not even professionals would be able carve you out of him. You weren’t just a thought he could untangle or a habit he could break. You were too deep. Too deep in his bones.

You didn’t knock before entering; you made yourself at home, fucked him from the inside out. And fuck—he never once complained. If anything, he welcomed it.

He wanted to kneel at your feet and kiss the very ground you walked on, like a worshipper at the altar of something holy and destructive all at once. You weren’t just a girl to him. You were his religion, his obsession, salvation dressed as temptation.

You were his and not just his in the way boys say it when they’re jealous. His in the way blood knows blood.

In the way a pulse answers another pulse without hesitation. It wasn’t possession born from ego—it was something darker, older, carved into him like a birthmark he never asked for but would never remove. Jungwon didn’t want you beside him. He wanted you intertwined with him, breathing the same air, thinking the same thoughts.

And the worst part? He didn’t feel guilty. He felt certain. Because from the moment you stepped into his life— You were already under his skin and my bro Jungwon had no intention of letting you go. His control slips when it comes to you. He hates that, he loves that.

“You could never be anyone else’s,” he mutters under his breath. In his world, it’s already decided.

You were claimed long before you ever noticed. Claimed by the devil standing quietly in the shadows, watching, waiting. And one day— You’ll understand. You’ll thank him. Because he knows the way your eyes look at him. He knows the silent I want you that lingers there. And it’s torture, absolute torture to stand there and do nothing.

Jungwon opens his eyes again, jaw tightening as he looks down at the unconscious boy tied to the chair. He flicks the cigarette to the ground and crushes it slowly under his shoe.

“Stay away from her,” he says quietly to the still body.

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯—

Present — 7:02 P.m

You’re sitting cross-legged on your bed, back pressed against the wall, fingers nervously twisting the hem of your oversized tee. Eunchae is sprawled across your carpet like she pays rent here, chin propped up on her hands, staring at you with wide, impatient eyes.

“Okay,” she says slowly. “You said you had tea. And not normal tea. Not ‘I tripped in the hallway’ tea. So speak.” You inhale. And then you tell her everything that happened in the past week.

Jungwon. The sex. The morning after. The stupid rules you wrote like it was some contractual agreement. The way he looked at you. The way he—Eunchae screams. “FINALLY.” You flinch. “Shut up!”

“No!” She bolts upright, pointing at you like you just confessed to a crime she’s been waiting years to solve. “I have BEEN waiting for this day. Do you know how long I’ve suffered listening to you pine over this man?” You bury your face in your hands. “It was not pining.”

“It was pathetic yearning,” she corrects. “With dramatic sighing.” You throw a pillow at her which she dodges it easily. “And wait—wait.” She squints at you. “You had sex. With him. And then you made… rules?” You groan. “It made sense at the time.”

“Oh my God.” She falls back onto the bed beside you. “You slept with your brother’s best friend and your first instinct was to draft a constitution?”

“It’s called emotional damage control!”

“It’s called you being insane.” You glare at her. “You’re supposed to be on my side.” You argue, “I am on your side!” she says, grabbing your shoulders. “I’m just saying this was inevitable. The sexual tension between you two could power a small country.” You try not to smile.

She studies you more closely now, expression softening. “Okay. Jokes aside.” Her voice lowers. “Are you okay?” You hesitate before answering, “…I don’t know.” She tilts her head. “Do you regret it?”

“No.” The answer comes too fast. Then she flicks your forehead lightly. “Okay first of all, if he hurts you, I will personally ruin his life. Second—” she narrows her eyes, “—does he like you?” Your stomach flips. “I don’t know.”

“Does he act like he likes you?” He does, yes. “…Yes.”

“Then congratulations,” she deadpans. “You are in a situationship with unresolved feelings and sexual chemistry. Welcome to hell.” You laugh despite yourself. She bumps her shoulder against yours. “Just promise me one thing.”

“What?”

“Don’t lose yourself trying to win him.” That makes you pause. Eunchae’s expression is serious now, protective in the way only someone who’s known every version of you can be. “You liked him first,” she says quietly. “Don’t let him make you feel small just because he finally caught up.” Your throat tightens.

“…You really think this could be something?” Oh, you had no idea. She smiles, softer this time. “I think it already is.” Then she grins again. “But also? If he fumbles you after all this buildup, I will expose him spiritually.” You shove her. “You’re so dramatic.”

“And you,” she says, pointing at you again, “are finally living your Wattpad dreams.” You both burst into laughter.

Your phone buzzes against the table, the vibration loud in the quiet of the room. It skids slightly against the wood before settling, screen lighting up. You don’t even have to look properly to know who it is. You unlock your phone, Jungwon’s name sits at the top of your notifications, Eunchae leans closer, practically vibrating with curiosity. “Well?” she whispers loudly. You shake your head, chuckling under your breath as you open the message.

Jungwon : Tonight, my place. Midnight.

You’d agreed to keep your communications short, to the point, and vague enough that if anyone saw them, You could explain them away with a creative excuse. His text met all three criteria, but still. What bappened to a good old-fashioned hey, how are you first?

You : Can't. I'm busy.

It was true, You were with Eunchae after all, you can’t just leave her alone here.

Jungwon : Too busy for an orgasm?

You : Your fragile ego

can’t take a no?

Jungwon : love how you keep running your pretty mouth, you know what i’d do if i was there.

You bite back a smile the second you read it. Your tongue presses against the inside of your cheek as you reread it, heat creeping up your neck. Eunchae watches your expression change, her grin widening instantly.

Jungwon : Tomorrow, 10 pm. My place.

Jungwon : PS. Your gonna pay for the fragile ego comment .

Then you see it, your phone lit up a new notification, your brows pulled together when you read the message.

Unknown : Hey y/n.

The area code indicated a Seoul phone number. No, it can’t be.

You : Who is this?

Hope, a bit of fear, and anticipation curled in your stomach. Maybe it’s an old friend. An eternity passed in the next ten seconds for the next reply to pop up, and it nearly made you drop your phone.

Unknown : It's Soobin.

Soobin. Your ex-boyfriend. How did he get your number? Why was he contacting you now after almost three years of radio silence? You never saw him after that incident in the alley.

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯—

You shouldn’t have agreed to this. That’s the only thought looping in your head as you sit at the small corner table of the café down the street from campus. Your fingers wrap around a cup of coffee that’s long gone cold, condensation dampening the cardboard sleeve. You check your phone again. Three years. Three years of silence, and then suddenly— Can we meet? Just once.

You don’t know what he wants. Closure? Apology? The bell above the café door chimes and your mouth goes dry as you watch Soobin stepping inside. He looks… older, obviously. Broader shoulders, sharper jaw, his hair is styled differently than you remember, longer in the front. He scans the room, and when his eyes land on you, something unreadable flickers across his face before he walks over.

You force yourself not to shrink. “Hey,” he says, pulling out the chair across from you. “Hey.” Awkward silence stretches between you both, “You look good,” he says finally. “So do you.”Another pause, “How’ve you been?” he asks, leaning back slightly. “Fine,” you answer too quickly. “Busy, collage and life…you know, the usual.” He nods. “Yeah. Same.”

He studies your face in a way that makes your skin itch. “So,” he says slowly, fingers tapping the table, “heard you’ve been… around different company lately.” That makes you tilt your head, where did this come from? why does he care? “What does that mean?”

He tilts his head too. “Just heard you’ve been spending time with someone.” You stiffen. “That’s not really your business.”

A faint smirk touches his lips. “Just saying. Be careful who you trust. Some guys don’t show their real face until it’s too late.” Now he was getting under your nerves, surely he didn’t call you here to say this bullshit now, did he? Your nails dig into your palm under the table. “And you would know?” you ask quietly. His jaw tightens at that.

Before he can respond, the bell above the café door chimes again. You don’t look at first, bad idea, but then you feel it. You glance toward the entrance—And your breath catches.

Heeseung walks in first, laughing at something Jay says. Behind them—Jungwon. Jungwon finds your eyes meet instantly. They always do.

For a split second, his expression is soft, the expression he always gives you. Like he didn’t expect to find you here but isn’t unhappy about it.

Then—His gaze drops. To the man sitting across from you. Soobin’s back is to him so Jungwon can’t see his face but he sees enough. You’re with someone else, someone else.

You watch it happen in real time—the soft look drains from his eyes and smth darker replaces it, you watch as his jaw sets.

Your pulse starts pounding in your ears for no reason. “Soobin,” you say suddenly. “Yeah?” He blinks, “You need to go.” He frowns. “What? Why—”

“Just go,” you whisper urgently, standing up slightly. “Please. And don’t look back.” He stares at you like you’ve lost your mind. “What the hell is wrong with—” You shove his shoulder, harder this time. “Just go.” Your eyes flick past him.

Heeseung is scanning the café but Jungwon isn’t cause he’s busy staring at Soobin’s back like he could burn a hole straight through it. Soobin finally exhales in frustration and stands. “You’re unbelievable,” he mutters. “Go,” you repeat.

There’s another exit near the back of the café. Thank God. He hesitates for half a second—Then turns and heads toward it. And he doesn’t look back. You sag in relief, cause if Jungwon had seen his face—more importantly if Heeseung had seen his face—You know exactly what would’ve happened.

Heeseung would drag him down the street without thinking twice. Punch first, ask questions later and Jungwon? You don’t even want to imagine it.

You turn back toward the entrance just as they fully step inside. Jungwon’s eyes lift to yours again. Dark. Possessive, it reminds you of what he said that day. ‘I don’t share.’ You were supposed to meet him today anyway. Just not like this.

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯—

You barely get a foot inside his house before Jungwon’s hands are on your waist, immediate, pulling you fully in as he shuts the door behind you. A small yelp leaves you, cut short when your back meets the door with a dull thud as the click of the lock follows. His body cages you in, one knee sliding between your thighs, spreading your legs apart with quiet insistence as he keeps you pinned there.

Jungwon buries his face in the crook of your neck, inhaling slowly, His breath is warm against your skin. Then his hand slides up, fingers wrapping around your throat, rough as they tilt your head back slightly, then he squeezes it, Your breath catches, lashes fluttering as the pressure builds for a second.

“Who was that guy, doll?” Jungwon asks quietly, His eyes catch the dim light, Your lungs burn just enough to make it thrilling, and when he finally loosens his grip, you pull in a shaky breath. Adrenaline rushing through your veins. This is exactly what you wanted.

You swallow, looking up at him through half-lidded eyes, feigning innocence even though you’re already falling apart under his touch. “What guy?” you ask lightly, provoking on purpose. Jungwon chuckled quietly and slid his hand down your body, feeling every curve. He's not doing anything yet, and you're already drenched.

"I'm not in the mood to play right now, doll," he said in your ear before gently biting your earlobe. Your eyes sparkled with amusement as you teased, "Jealous much?" However, your playful tone turned into a soft whine as you felt Jungwon's clothed hard-on pressing against you, causing you to instinctively lean back against the wall. His hands held your hips in place as he lifted your leg, positioning you so that you were practically grinding against him, unable to contain the moans escaping your lips.

"Yeah, I'm jealous, fucking hell, I've told you before — you're mine. No one is allowed to even look at your beautiful face," Jungwon said, pulling you close and deepening the kiss. Both of you moaned as he nibbled on your bottom lip. "This face belongs to me. It's mine to admire.” he said, moving his hips against you with each word. Thrust! “mine to kiss.” Thrust! “mine to fuck.” Thrust! “Mine to make a goddamn mess of anytime.” Thrust! "Mine to love and protect." You would’ve asked him what he meant by ‘love’ if you weren’t so soaked up in the moment of his hips as they quickened, bringing you both closer to the edge, you gasped, "Jungwon, please..." the friction of his cock pressing up against you feels so fucking good, feeling a mix of pleasure and punishment, he pinched your clothed nipples, intensifying the sensation.

"Every curve of you is made to fit into my hands. My hands and my hands only.” He lowered his mouth to your shoulder, trailed moist lips to the nape of your neck. "Don't worry," he whispered. "I'm made for your hands, too."

Jungwon then puts both of his hands firmly around your waist, his nails digging into your flesh so painfully that you know you will feel it the next day. He then quickly swings you around, slams your face against the wall, and his whole body is pressed on your back. You could feel him massaging your inner thighs with his cock. He was so damned hard, my god. There is nowhere more excited than the spot between your legs that's freaking pulsing. A small cry escapes your mouth due to the sudden jerk in your head as his hands grabs your hair and pulls you back.

“I should fuck you right here against the wall. Everyone thinks you like it nice but i know better. You’d rather have me tear you apart with my cock.” Jungwon’s voice is raw as he grinds into you. “That’s exactly what you fucking deserve. Maybe then, everyone would know it’s mine.”

He rasps, picks you up, pressing you even harshly into the wall. And this position…..his hands are hooked securely beneath your thighs, lifting you with steady strength. You’re pressed against the wall as your feet leave the ground, and your palms flatten against the surface for balance. You cling to it, fingers splayed, because the only thing holding you up is him — and the wall, which, you’re almost kissing by now.

After that, you feel him harden even more on your ass as he pulls you down on him. You let out a moan. "This shit is turning you on, huh?" He tosses you over his shoulders before you can even react. “Get on the fucking bed, your pussy’s been neglected for too long.” He drops you against the pillows, the impact knocking the air from your lungs slightly, then follows, bracing himself above you, gaze locked on yours.

Without wasting any more time, With quick hands, You find his belt and undo it, throwing it to the ground. He lifts your hips to tug your jeans and panties down your thighs.

He grabbed the back of your neck, pulled you close, and crushed his lips to yours. You wrapped your arms around his neck, your body warm and pliant against his as he plundered your mouth. Jungwon’s heart was a loud drum in his chest, beating in time with the throbbing in his cock. The smell of your perfume and the sounds of your little whimpers filled the room as you clung to him like you both were drowning and he was your last lifeline.

He parted your thighs with his knee, reached between your legs and hummed in approval when he found you slick and wet for him. Jungwon frowned the second you caught his wrist, stopping him mid-motion.

Then you moved, pushing yourself up slowly, pressing a hand flat against his bare chest and forcing him back onto the bed. He let himself fall, more surprised but went with it, eyes tracking you the entire time. You swung a leg over him and settled on his stomach, straddling him, your weight and your juices soaking his hips.

Jungwon blinked, not expecting it. A low, dark laugh slipped out of him, rough around the edges. “Shit,” he muttered, dragging a hand over his face before letting it fall beside him. His eyes trailed up your body, slow and shameless. “You drive me so fucking crazy, doll.” You held his gaze.

There was something about him like this — laid back against the sheets, looking up at you instead of towering over you — that hit different. His jaw tight, eyes darker than usual, lips parted just slightly. You can tell he’s controlling from fucking you so bad right now. But tonight, you wanted to be in control.

You tilted your head slightly, fingers brushing down his chest in a slow line, testing him, Jungwon swallowed. “Don’t start something you can’t finish,” he warned quietly. You smiled down at him, all innocence and sweet composure. Jungwon’s head tilted slightly against the pillow, eyes narrowing in quiet amusement as a slow smirk pulled at his mouth. He didn’t say anything.

Instead, his hand slid down, settling on your ass. His fingers spread, warm and possessive, before giving it a slow, squeeze and—Spank! His palm landed on your ass with such harsh slap it made your whole body jerk upward, your tits bouncing.

"My dirty angel," he said gruffly. "Created to please and torture me. My heaven on earth." Spank! This one made your pulsating pussy throb even harder. “Look how pretty your ass is all rosy from my hand.” Spank! Jungwon said while looking at your reflection in the mirror placed infront of the bed.

Then his free hand slid down to your ankles, fingers wrapping around them before he gave a sudden tug. You let out a small yelp, your balance tipping as you nearly fell backward, but he was quicker—his hands moving to your back, steadying you before you could slip. In one smooth motion, jungwon adjusted his grip and lifted you, holding you securely as your body hovered above his.

You’re flushed a deep crimson, your pulse drumming in your throat as you realize there’s nowhere left to hide; because now he could see how fucking wet you were, Your legs shake, barely holding your weight, as your hair spills over your shoulders.

You look down, hair falling and you swear you just came right there on sight. Jungwon’s gaze is fixated on your dripping cunt like a man starving, like your his fucking meal. He looks hungry, lips already parted, tongue darting out to lick his lips before holding your legs, “Sit on my face, Y/n.”

He says licking your thighs, you whimper, “Sit that sweet pussy down on my mouth. Wrap those pretty thighs around my head and fuck my face, come on doll.” He growls,his breath gently caressing your bare cunt, you slowly lower yourself giving him time but jungwon holds your hips and yanks you down on him. And suddenly his mouth is everywhere— tongue pressing flat against your dripping slit, licking a stripe up and then down your clit, slurping in your pussy, sending your head back, whining.

He licks into you, tongue fucking you deep as he groans, You swear ur seeing stars. Your body tenses and melts and fucking bursts into flames because it feels so goddamn good, you don't even know what you’re feeling. But you’re feeling good, too good. Jungwon's tongue circles around your cunt, his grip on your ass tightening.

You were so close already. He slowed the thrusts of his mouth so he could reach and stroke your clit with his hand. You could feel his smile because his mouth was still buried in you, when your head fell back and your lips parted at the touch.

You were shaking, Completely sobbing as razor-sharp sensation spiked through you. "Who does your pussy belong to?" Jungwon removed his fingers from your pussy and squeezed your thighs. "You," You gasped, clutching the headboard so hard your knuckles turned white.

"Say it again." He said, Demanding. "You! My pussy belongs to you." Your voice broke in a sob as he delivered a stinging slap to your clit. "That's right. It belongs to me, and don't you ever forget it." Slap! He pulls back just enough to breathe, mouth shiny and swollen with your juices. He kept the pressure of his thumb against your clit and slid a finger inside your tight, wet heat.

Your mouth turned into a scream as his tongue licked against your aching center, from your entrance up to your clit, his mouth slowly engulfing your bud, sucking hard before slowing down again. "Did this pussy miss my mouth, baby?" You exhaled roughly. Jungwon flattened his tongue and licked you in a slow swipe.

You can't take it. The pleasure rolls through you; a pleased grumble vibrates in his throat as his tongue pierces you, sending you tumbling over the edge, crying his name. Jungwon’s breathes in you, “Can feel how wet you are for me. Such a pathetic little whore, wanting me to fuck you again. Was last time too gentle for you?" He flicked on your clit—"Jungwon—im gonna—" You cry out, arching your back as much as you’re able to, nearly pulling yourself forward out of the other Jungwon’s grip. “Come on my face, baby. Let go.”

Your mouth opens but no sound comes out but a silent cry. Every single muscle in your body is tensed up, like a metal coil getting wound up way past its breaking point—and your coming—squirting all over him—gushing down on his face as Jungwon growns and moans, nuzzling his nose in your clit. “That’s the girl, that’s my good fucking girl.” Jungwon coos proudly, his voice muffled as he drinks and laps every fucking drop.

Jungwon smiled against your wetness, his hot tongue twisting and circling over your pussy as he took a moment to catch a breath, moving his mouth from you to lick his lips. But jungwon? He doesn't stop, dips his head back into your pussy, your orgasm soaking his nose and chin, but he doesn't care.

Another lightning strike shoots right through you, as jungwon keeps fucking you through your orgasm with his tongue. Your cunt is fluttering around his mouth, still releasing your juices, as he slurps up all the liquid till half of his face is covered in your essence. His tongue moves with more intensity now, flicking over your clit in rapid, circular strokes before sliding down to your folds, his tongue pressing gently against your entrance, You shake your head, it was way too much.

“No—wonnie—too much.” Slap! Jungwon’s hand touched your heat in a smack again. “You take what i give you, you fucking bitch.” You let out a ringing wail, trying to scramble away and push back harder against him at the same time. You couldn't focus on anything, you only knew that you were dripping and burning and every inch of your nipples against the wooden board sent another jolt of heat straight to your throbbing clit.

"You taste so fucking good." Jungwon growled, You choked back a moan, still entirely too sensitive from your previous orgasm, Jungwon let out a string of curses as his teeth pulled on your cunt, “fuck fuck fuck, all mine—Can’t—so good—” Jungwon whimpers, actually whimpers. The overstimulation was finally starting to kick in and tears formed at the corners of your eyes as you cried out Jungwon’s name over and over, too dumb on his mouth on you to say anything else. When your words turned to silent screams and your pussy fluttered around Jungwon’s mouth, You look down at him, panting, trembling, his lips and chin are shiny with your orgasm and he brings his fingers to rub aggressively over your overstimulated clit.

He ran his finger through your folds a couple of times, thrusting against your clit and laughing at how your whole body jolted from the sensitivity. “Come for me, baby—” You flew forward with a startled yelp, coming so hard your whole body went numb. “Shit baby shit, so good, so beautiful. That’s it.” He praised, literally speaking while lapping up every drop. You’re full on sobbing now, but you can't hold back the way your hips twitch up and chase every filthy flick of his warm tongue.

“Yeah baby, grind on my face like a slut, ruin my mouth, doll—oh my—” Jungwon’s voice turns muffled when you sink yourself on his mouth all the way down to the point his nose and whole face is covered in you. He grips your ass, whimpering. “Fuck, y/n—Please—” jungwon whines while you ride your high again on his face, leaving him gasping for air and wanting for more because you’re both greedy and ruined.

Till the time you’re done, he’s fucked out. Breath uneven, eyes rolled back, tears at the corner of his eyes, mouth covered in your essence. He looks beautiful. You lift yourself slowly, legs shaking, your back arching as you lean down toward him. Your lips meet his in a slow kiss, and the faint taste of you lingering there makes heat rise through you all over again. Jungwon whimpers in your mouth—he’s ruined and so entirely yours.

You let your fingers wander over his chest, tracing idle patterns against warm skin before dragging them lower, over the firm lines of his abs. You stay seated on his stomach, legs hooked on either side of his thighs, keeping him exactly where you want him.

His hands come up quickly, gripping your hips like he’s about to take control again, fingers pressing into your skin. You catch his wrist mid-motion and slap his throbbing cock. Jungwon freezes for half a second — then a long, helpless whine leaves him, low and frustrated, his head falling back against the pillow. “Fuck,” he breathes, jaw tightening as he looks up at you. “What’s the hurry, baby?” You ask, a hard strike from your hand came in contact with his aching cock which bobbed at the impact, making him groan.

“Shit—please, doll.” Another slap to his member. A silent moan left his lips as jungwon started to grind his cock in your hand, the base of his erection rubbing on the bridge of your palms. Jungwon’s orgasm was approaching quickly. “Shit, baby—need to be inside you—doll.” You noticed the tell tale signs, with jungwon’s heavy breathing, his mouth hung open as he whimpered and whined, and how his cock twitched often.

“You wanna come inside me, hmm?” Your hands speed up your moments, he gasps, trying so hard to move away from your hands as you relentlessly stroked his cock, grabbing your wrist but having no strength to push you away entirely. "Fuck, doll—What are you doing to me?" You mock, "Making you work for it." He twitches at your touch, head rolling to his side.

“Tell me—wha—what I can do" you don't stop your strokes, "You can be a good boy and beg for me." He looks up with half-lidded eyes, “I want it. Need to be inside you so fucking bad. Need to feel how wet you are for me. Want to—shit want to see how you look when you come. And I swear to God, if you don't let me see those perfect fucking tits, I'm going to lose my mind." Your hairs were covering your breasts, you raise your eyebrows, “You didn’t say the magic word.”

Jungwon groans, “Fuck—i-i’m gonna cum, baby, please—” he rushed out to warn you. You smile wickedly, Something about him like this — under you, actually melting beneath your touch was turning you the fuck on in a way you hadn’t expected. He was usually the one in control. But right now? He looked wrecked, following every small movement of your hands.

The fact that you could make him lose it like this — make him whine, make him curse under his breath, make him grip the sheets instead of you sent heat straight to your cunt. You dragged your fingers lower on his tip just to see his reaction. The power shift was intoxicating. “Need to be in-inside—you, ffuckkk.” He chokes out a long whimper, “Say it like you mean it, wonnie.” You teased, hands wrapped tight around his dick to stop hin from coming. His voice cracks and he whimpers, eyes pleading.

“Need you—baby right now….need to make you come over and over again. Need you to ride me until I'm a fueking mess beneath you. Lemme feel how tight you are, how wet your cunt is—please” He chokes up, his cock clenching around your hands, milking him again with a loud, broken sob. “Let me taste you until you're shaking and screaming. Let me fuck you until I'm so deep inside you that we both forget who we are. Use me. Let me ruin you—or just ruin me. I don't fucking care. Just let me in."

“You can do more better, pretty boy.” Jungwon cries out, fucking cries out—a raw, guttural sound ripped straight from his chest, as his knot swells and locks him in place. “Please—please let me inside you please please—miss—please, i can’t ffuck—” You moan softly at his begging, his whines sending you to subspace. “Please please pleaseeee—wan-wanna cum inside you. Need you in me, d-doll please.” He sobs out between ragged breaths. “Fuck me, you’re gonna fuck me so well, doll—please—aren’t you?” Getting too impatient yourself, your tight pussy finally sinks down onto his cock in one powerful thrust.

Jungwon screams, stars shooting behind his eyes at the raw feeling of his dick inside your cunt. It was so good. You moan softly at the feeling of fullness, “Umm—wonnie—” You say, sitting up and arching your back to give him the view of a lifetime. Then slowly, you pull yourself up, he watches the way his dick spills out of your sweet cunt and you slam down in one thrust, your breasts flying up cus of the impact. “Shi—yes, Ride my dick baby.” He says with half parted lips, hands holding your hips while you start bouncing on his cock. Up. down. up. down.

Jungwon was so big and filled up your tight hole so well, your hands balanced themselves perfectly on his toned chest as you quicken your pace. Your mouth finds his chest, sucking and nibbling at his nipples, ripping the most pathetic whine you have ever heard out of him. His hips thrust upwards, looking for friction when you slow down. He looks up, eyes watering. You reached for his hand, resting it on the bulge on your stomach as you moved on him, the sight was driving him closer to his release, “Fuckk—look at those pretty tits bouncing for me—wanna breed you baby, pleaseee.” Jungwon lets out a low groan, nails digging into your hips so he can keep you there.

You roll your hips like a pro, thrusts get sloppier, moans louder, and when your mouth crashes into his, you slow down, shuddering and cursing as he throbs inside of you as Jungwon comes in thick spurts of cum inside you, his feet and legs shaky from his release. “Wonnie—!” You mouth opens in a whine as he holds your hips up and drags you down on him again and again and again until your seconds away from coming all over once, until your arousal was splattering over Jungwon’s stomach.

“Shit—yeah gonna breed this pussy—doll.” He moans as his lips latch on one of your nipples, sucks on it for god knows how long and lets go with a wet pop. You lifted your hips until you were halfway up his cock slowly, body shaking the entire way. Jungwon thrusted upwards so he was fully inside you again.

At the same time, he straightens abruptly, one arm wrapping behind your back as he turns you over in a single fluid shift, reversing your positions, flipping the balance of control effortlessly. He shoves your head down onto the mattress, yanks your ass up in air only to push your knees forward, bending you in half. Jungwon watch you from behind, fucking mesmerized.

“Such a tight little pussy this is, Y/n. All for me.” He pants near your ear, sliding back until the tip remains and plunged back in, Sweat beaded his skin, falling on your back. Your pussy clenched around him involuntarily, still pulsing from your release, He set a brutal pace. His hips pistoned forward relentlessly, the bed creaks under you both, along with banging of the headboard—thud, thud, thud. “Did you like me begging for you, hmm? You think you can get under my skin, huh?” You clutch the sheets, “hngh-oh my-God, please—Jungwon.”

The sound of skin slapping echoes the room, “Please what? want me to go harder? want me to breed this cunt? want me to fuck you so deep you feel me in your fucking throat?” He rasps, pounding into you as each thrust of his hips makes your body go up, up, and up. Jungwon leans down, his weight pressing you deeper into the mattress, as he reaches around to rub your clit.

“Going around meeting other guys, do you think i don’t know what game you’re playing?” You shake your head before you could form a coherent response his cock drags along your g-spot, making both of you moan out. You were in such euphoria that all of the pleasure almost hurt. Your hips bucked wildly on their own towards jungwon.

“It's my cock you come all over. Even when you wanna meet other guy’s. It's my name you fucking scream.” Every word makes you grip his hands behind tighter, the angle, the frustration, the control, he's destroying you. “And don’t let me find out who he was in the wrong way, doll. You won’t like what that’ll turn me into.” Jungwon growled. His hips never faltered, pistoning forward with that relentless force, thick shaft dragging along your inner walls.

Every withdrawal pulled a whine from you, your pussy clenching greedily around the retreating length, only to be slammed back full when he buried himself to the hilt. “Would fuck you anywhere in this house. Every room, even your brother’s…You’d probably enjoy that, wouldn’t you?” his arm wrapped tightly around your waist, “Answer me, doll.”

“Yes—Jung—wo-won, please…wanna c—cum, cum inside me, wanna be full.” Jungwon’s expression turns feral, God he loves you so much. “Yeah? can’t even talk properly, so cock hungry on my dick, you forgot how to speak huh? Fucking slut.” You nod, and when he hits your g-spot again, you both come at the same time, his seed spilling inside you, dripping down your thighs as he pulls back then says, “All mine.” before shoving his cum back inside you till he’s satisfied you’ve taken all of it.

Jungwon pulls out, the sudden loss of him making your body tip forward. Your arms give out as you drop onto the bed, sheets twisting beneath you while his grip slips from your skin. The mattress dips as he shifts back, leaving you sprawled there, breath uneven, warmth lingering where he’d just been.

Jungwon waits until your breathing steadies, the he gets up from the bed, He disappears briefly, returning with something warm and damp, kneeling beside you on the bed. His touch is careful as he cleans you up. He doesn’t say much, just a quiet “Hold on,” when you shift.

The contrast almost makes you laugh because minutes ago, he was rough, fucking you like a beast now he’s gentle. That’s why you love him.

No matter how he is with everyone else, how rough around the edges whether it’s the way he talks, or the way he takes over when he wants something — he’s never careless with you when it matters.

There’s a difference, with everyone else, he’s confident….almost intimidating you could say. But with you, in the normal moments — the in-between ones, he’s careful, he checks in. Jungwon has always payed attention to small things. He adjusts without you asking.

God. You love this man and he doesn’t even know it. Not yet.

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯—

This went on for days. Then weeks and within a blink of an eye, a month had passed. A whole month of Jungwon.

A month of tangled sheets, late nights, rushed kisses against closed doors. A month of him fucking you like he’d memorized every inch of your body. A month of sex that didn’t just feel good in the moment, it stayed in the aftereffects, in the way you walked the next day.

Everything felt right but wrong in a way you couldn’t fucking explain. It was good, duh, obviously it was good. Yet something underneath it all felt off. Jungwon wasn’t distant exactly.

He still replied when you texted. Still showed up when you asked him to come over. Still met you halfway when you both decided to sneak out for late drives or stupid midnight convenience store runs but he never texted first anymore, not once.

At first, you told yourself you were overthinking it. Maybe he was busy, maybe smth was stressing him out or maybe he just wasn’t the texting type. But a week passed, then another. No random “what are you doing?” No teasing messages. No late-night “come over.”

Almost like a ghost and that’s when it started crawling under your skin. Did he get bored already? No. That couldn’t be it.

You refused to let your brain settle on that explanation cus hey….you knew what you had. You felt it every time he touched you, every time he pulled you close and muttered “good girl” against your ear, everytime he whispered that you were his, that you belonged to him. People don’t say shit like that and just… get bored. Right?

You still felt him sometimes, phantom touches, his hands on your waist, the weight of him behind you. The feel of his length hitting every spot inside you that curled your toes, the sound of his voice low in your ear.

Fucking bastard, all those promises said in the dark, just to pull back like this? No. He didn’t disappear. He’s just busy. You repeated it so often it started sounding believable. Your brother, on the other hand, wasn’t buying any of it.

Heeseung had been watching you sensed it when he looked between the two of you more now, or the way he’d go quiet mid-conversation if the two of you stood too close.

Fuck he even confronted yoy about it one evening when you were sprawled across the couch scrolling while your mom moved around the kitchen, the smell of dinner filling the house. Heeseung dropped down on the armrest beside you, crossing his arms.

“So,” he started casually. You didn’t look up. “So what?” You said, “What’s going on between you and Jungwon?” Your head snapped up so fast you nearly choked on air. “Wh—what? Nothing’s going on.” He stared at you, unimpressed. “Yeah,” he scoffed. “Sure. And I’m a ballerina.”

“You’re actually insane.” You rolled your eyes, trying to look offended instead of exposed. “Am I?” he shot back. “Because you two look at each other like you’re hiding a body somewhere.”

Your stomach dropped. God please don’t catch on. “That’s dramatic,” you muttered. He leaned closer, lowering his voice just enough so your mom wouldn’t hear. “If he’s fucking around with you, I swear to God—”

“Relax,” you cut him off quickly, heart pounding for a completely different reason now. “Nothing’s happening.” He studied your face, “Don’t forget that you grew up infront of me, y/n. We both know you can’t lie for shit.” He said flatly making you force a laugh. “You’re paranoid.”

But when he finally stood up and walked away, the room didn’t feel normal anymore. Because if Heeseung was noticing? Then something had definitely changed. And you had no fucking clue whether Jungwon was pulling away… or preparing to walk…away??

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯—

On the other side of this mess, Jungwon wasn’t handling it any better. If anything, he was spiraling. The silence he forced on himself felt like withdrawal. His mind wouldn’t shut the fuck up. Every quiet second was filled with you — the absence of your touch, the absence of your laugh, the absence of the way you’d look at him like he was something worth choosing.

He hadn’t realized how used to you he’d gotten. Used to you sitting too close, used to your hands on him, used to your voice softening whenever you moaned his name, used to the way your eyes would blink up at him — beautiful in a way that made his chest tighten.

He was starving, starving to see you, starving to hear your voice, starving in ways that had nothing to do with sex — though God knew he missed that too, missing being inside you, missed the way you’d fall apart under him, the way you’d cling to him like he was the only solid thing in the room but it wasn’t just physical.

It was you and that was the fucking problem. He knew the second he crossed that line with you — really crossed it — that there was no heaven waiting for him, not after the things he thought about when it came to you, not after the way he wanted to keep you, posses you, mark you as his in ways that went far beyond logic.

If he was going to hell, fine, as long as you ruled beside him. That was the sick part. But this feeling growing in his chest now? It wasn’t just lust or anything nor was it ego. It was something heavier.

He realized it when Jay said it out loud. “Bro, I think you should stop meeting y/n.” The words hit harder than expected. Jungwon had told Jay everything, not the details but enough. Enough to admit he liked you, that it wasn’t just messing around. That it had gone too far. Jay didn’t judge him. If anything, he looked almost serious.

“You need to tell her,” Jay had said. “Before it turns into something ugly. If you love her, say it.” Love damn the word stuck…and then Heeseung made it worse cause Heeseung didn’t yell or threaten. That would’ve been easier. He just looked at him.

“Stay away from my sister.” How the fuck was he supposed to ignore that? Heeseung wasn’t just your brother, He was his hyung, his friend, the person who had trusted him enough to bring him into his house, into his family.

“Y/n is too good for you,” Heeseung said quietly. “Too innocent for this world. You know she’s different than us.” Jungwon’s jaw clenched so tight it hurt. “Yes, hyung.”

He saw it then — the way hope drained from his own reflection in Heeseung’s eyes, the way something darker replaced it. Heeseung sighed, running a hand through his hair. “As much as I hate admitting it… she’s never been as happy as she is with you. Do you get what that means?”

He did. He understood the second you told him you trusted him with everything, the second you fell asleep against him without hesitation, the second you looked at him like he wasn’t dangerous.

“Jungwon,” Heeseung continued, softer now. “I’m not trying to tear you apart. But she’s too real for this world. Too sensitive.”

Jungwon nodded. He knew. That was exactly why he was stepping back. Because you weren’t built for half-love. You weren’t built for secrecy and control and the darkness that followed him around like a shadow. You were made to be loved—and he did, honestly. But jungwon was dangerous.

He was selfish, Obsessive, possessive in ways that scared even him. He closed his eyes and there you were again. Always there, in every fucking thought, in every quiet moment, in every decision he tried to make without you.

How was he supposed to stop? How do you stop loving someone after four years of watching them grow? After memorizing their habits? After noticing the way they frown when they’re concentrating or the way they laugh when they’re actually happy?

There was no going back from a girl like you.

Jungwon was dangerous. He knew that. He carried darkness comfortably throughout his entire life that he could live with it.

You, on the other hand, felt like smth untouched. Not weak, but genuine. Soft in the ways that mattered, honest in ways he had forgotten how to be.

Two worlds that were never meant to collide. And yet you did like fate didn’t give a damn. You walked into his life and ruined him without even trying.

Now he was stuck between two choices: Let you go and feel like he was tearing his own skin off. Or keep you and risk destroying something pure with his own hands. The worst part? He didn’t know which option was more selfish cause no matter how much he tried to convince himself he was protecting you… Every night, he still reached for his phone, still typed your name only to erase it before hitting send.

And tonight, Jungwon was going to confront you. He was going to stand in front of you and finally say every fucked-up, buried, aching thing he’d been swallowing for years. He was going to tell you how you ruined him in the best and worst ways, how loving you felt like setting himself on fire just to keep you warm and then he was going to walk away from your life… probably.

Probably. Because even as he rehearsed the goodbye in his head, he knew he was a liar.

Walking away didn’t mean disappearing. It didn’t mean not knowing where you were, who you were with, whether you were smiling or crying. He’d still keep track of you, quietly, from a distance. Making sure you were safe, making sure no one ever hurt you. He’d never stop watching over you — even if he had to do it in silence.

He told himself it was for your own good. That you deserved something softer. Someone who wouldn’t drag you into the dark with him.

But God, the thought of you moving on — of you laughing with someone else, letting someone else hold you made something feral twist inside his chest.

Tonight he’d confess, tonight he’d break both your hearts. And tomorrow… he’d pretend he could survive it.

It had been raining since evening.

The news had predicted it in the morning, so you stayed in all day, curled up in your room while the sky turned darker by the hour. By midnight the rain hadn’t slowed. It poured even more, tapping against your windows, sliding down the glass in restless streams. The whole house smelled like wet soil drifting in through the cracks — your favorite smell in the world. Earthy.

Heeseung was out, probably yelling at his screen while playing his shitty Valorant with his friends. It was almost 12:30. You yawned, rubbing your eyes, staring out at the streetlights blurring under the rain. For a second, you wondered what Jungwon was doing.

And then the doorbell rang making you frown, “Who the hell…?” You didn’t think much of it. Probably Heeseung, forgetting his keys like always. You walked downstairs slowly, the house dim and quiet. You unlocked the door and pulled it open.

You blinked. Once. Twice. Thrice. Your mouth fell open, there he was—Jungwon stood there.

Soaked, his hair plastered to his forehead, his shirt clinging to his skin. Rain dripping from his jaw. His chest rising slowly, heavily but it was his eyes that made your stomach tighten. Dark under the rain.

“Jungwon—” Before you could finish, his hand wrapped around your wrist and he pulled you outside. The door shut behind you with a sharp click. The rain swallowed the world.

You stood there, breath caught, as his hands slid to your waist. Like if he loosened his grip for even a second, you’d disappear. Rain soaked through your clothes instantly. You didn’t move, didn’t protest. You missed him, you missed him so goddamn much.

His fingers traced up your arms slowly,sending shivers down your spine. Even through the cold rain, his touch burned. Jungwon pressed his forehead to yours, his breath ghosting your lips.

He inhaled deeply, like he could still smell you through the storm. “Tried…” he muttered. You swallowed, gripping his wrists. “Jungwon, we need to get inside—” His hand tightened around your wrist just enough to make you hiss. “Tried so fucking hard to stay away from you.”

The rain fell harder, as if the sky wanted to drown the moment. You both stood there like a tragic love story with no ending written. His heart pounded so loud you could feel it through his chest. He looked at you like he was memorizing you — like this was the last time.

“Then why are you avoiding me?!” you demanded, voice shaking. He let out a breath that almost sounded like a laugh, bitter, broken. “Because I can’t have you,” he said. “I’m forcing myself to keep away. Starving myself of you because I’m not good enough. Even though all I want— all I need— is for you to run into my arms… I have to keep my distance.”

Your chest cracked open, you looked at him in his eyes, the ones you found beautiful and fell in love with shimmered with tears before they hardened—and your hope died.

“You’re selfish.” The word hit you harder than the rain. “What?” you whispered, where did this even come from? “You’re selfish,” he repeated, eyes burning. “Because you look at me like I’m something worth saving and you keep choosing me when you deserve better and how you’d follow me straight to hell if I asked you to. That’s selfish. You don’t get to throw your life away on someone like me.”

What the fuck was he saying? After weeks of no contact, this was the first shit that came out of his mouth? That was his grand return? Not an apology, or an explanation, not even a simple “I missed you.” Just this cryptic, self-sacrificing bullshit that didn’t even make sense.

You stare at him like he’d lost his damn mind. He disappears, leaves you checking your phone like an idiot, leaves you replaying every touch, every word, every “you’re mine” he whispered against your skin and now he stands in front of you acting like he’s some tragic hero trying to save you from himself? Save you from what? From loving him? From choosing him?

You felt your chest tighten, anger mixing with hurt until you couldn’t tell which one was stronger.

“Me? Selfish?” you shouted, tears mixing with rain. “I choose you. I always choose you. I’m still choosing YOU! I gave up everything for you — because of you! and you’re calling me selfish?!”

“I didn’t tell you to,” Jungwon snapped. Silence crashed down between you….His words made you laugh— a broken, disbelieving sound. if he was going to walk away, fine. At least have the guts to say it straight. Don’t act like you’re doing this for me when you’re the one who pulled me into this mess in the first place.

After everything — after the way he held you like you were the only thing keeping him sane, this was what you got?

Jungwon stood in front of you, still holding your hands in his. His heart pounded so violently it felt like a drum echoing through the storm, and for a second he swore he could hear yours too — matching it, beat for beat. Maybe you were the same rhythm, maybe you were the same damn heart split into two bodies, forced to stand on opposite sides of a line neither of you drew.

Well at least he knew you were the beat to his heart. You were in his blood, beating in his fucking chest like you owned it. The only way you’d ever leave was when that heart stopped. You were his gravity, his entire fucking planet, the force that kept him from drifting into the dark. Without you, he wasn’t just lost — he was nothing.

His thumb pressed into the curve of your hip, His wet hair clung to his forehead, messy, making his eyes look even more unreadable. But his touch betrayed him. His hand on your waist trembled — barely.

Rain streamed down his face, but he didn’t blink. Didn’t flinch. His hands trembled where they slid from your fingers to your waist, gripping you.

You could feel the heat of him even through the cold. Water ran down your face, over your lips, down your neck, but he didn’t look away, didn’t blink. He simply stared at you, stared your lips, your eyes, took in every detail of yours like this is the last time he’d be meeting you.

His grip on your waist tightened, pulling you flush against him until there was no space left. Until you felt him on your inner thigh, you gasp but swallowed when both of your lips grazed eachother—electric. A whisper of a touch that sent heat rushing through you both. His hand on your waist tightened instinctively. Your noses nudged again as you adjusted, forehead touching.

Then his lips pressed to yours properly, moving against yours slower, this wasn’t rushed like you both do when you’re having sex. It had a deeper meaning, his tongue nibbled at your bottom lip making you whimper, memorizing the shape of your mouth.

Your noses brushed again, rainwater slipping between your cheeks, but neither of you pulled away. His thumb traced against your side while his other hand kept yours locked with his, fingers tightening whenever you moaned into his mouth. When you parted your lips slightly, he exhaled into you, shaky, breath before kissing you deeper.

When he finally pulled back, a string of saliva connecting you both. His forehead rested against yours, lips still brushing yours as his chest rose up and down.

“This is a sin,” he whispered, voice barely audible over the storm.

“Then drop to your knees and worship me,” you shot back automatically, aching desperation cause you would follow Jungwon anywhere. To the edge of the world, to the fiery gates of hell. You’d burn beside him if he just reached for your hand and asked.

Your breathing faltered when jungwon let loose of your waist, your heart sinking down as you realised what this meant. You bit your lips, finally shooting out the words you thought you’d never say to him.

“Jungwon… go home,” you said softly. “As you said, this is over. Go home. We’re done.” Your vision blurred, you wanted to cry, Though not like this, not with him standing infront of you, staring. But you couldn’t, as you’d never really been able to hide who you truly were from Jungwon.

His eyebrows pulled together like you’d stabbed him. “Home?” he repeated.

“You’re my home.”

Two people standing in the rain, hearts beating the same rhythm, pretending they could survive apart.

Another week passed. No Jungwon. No texts. No No “are you okay?” Nothing, lol, silly you. What’d you even expect?

At first you told yourself you wouldn’t cry over him again, how can you not? That man was your everything. You cried in the shower so no one would hear, you cried into your pillow at 2 a.m, you cried quietly while staring at your phone, hating yourself for still hoping it would light up with his name.

By the end of the week, the tears weren’t dramatic anymore, they became exhausting. Your lungs felt heavy. You weren’t heartbroken in a loud way , you were hollowed out. A walking, blinking fucking zombie.

Heeseung noticed, of course he did. He always notices Your mom tried cooking your favorite food. Your dad awkwardly suggested a movie night, Heeseung even brought his friends over, hoping the noise and chaos would pull you out of your head for a bit. Laughter filled the living room, loud teasing — all of it deliberately exaggerated just to get a reaction out of you.

And he was there too. The second you heard Jungwon’s voice in the room,smth inside you snapped.

“Y/n! Come on, why is our princess so sad? What for?” Sunoo called sweetly from the couch, trying to make you smile. You stepped into the hallway just in time to see Jungwon walk through the door behind the others, hands in his pockets, like he hadn’t ripped your heart out and left it bleeding for seven fucking days.

Your vision blurred, this fucking bastard. You hated the way he still made your heart race. So, you stood up so abruptly your chair scraped harshly against the floor. No one even had time to react before you were walking away up the stairs, into your room, slamming the door shut hard enough to shake the walls.

A minute later there was a knock. “Y/n,” with Heeseung’s voice following it. “Why are you like this? Talk to me.”

You yanked the door open, eyes red, chest heaving. “Not like you’d fucking understand, Heeseung. Get the fuck out of my room.”

The words came out sharper than you intended venomous, even but you were drowning and he was the closest thing to blame. You saw it immediately. The way your brother’s expression cracked.

Heeseung had never hurt you, never let anyone hurt you. He’d always been your shield. But this time… he knew. He knew what he’d said to Jungwon, knew the conversation that had happened behind his back and watching you fall apart because of it was eating him alive.

“Y/n, if this is about—” he started, You grabbed the nearest cushion and threw it at him. “Get. The. Fuck. Out.” Your voice broke on the last word.

For a second, he just stood there. Guilt pressing into his lungs, wishing he could rewind time and take back the warning, take back the brotherly protectiveness that might’ve cost you your happiness.

He swallowed, nodded once, and stepped out, heading downstairs, the atmosphere shifted the second he returned . His friends looked at him expectantly.

“What’d she say?” Sunghoon asked. Heeseung let out a humorless breath. “Told me to get the fuck out.” Ni-ki clicked his tongue. “Oh. Damn.”

There was an uncomfortable silence before Jake leaned forward, rubbing the back of his neck. “Hyung… there’s a party the day after tomorrow. You know, at Minjae’s place? Bring her. Maybe she just needs a distraction. A change of scene.”

Heeseung hesitated, he didn’t want to push you. But he also couldn’t stand watching you fade like this. “…Yeah,” he finally muttered, nodding slowly. “Maybe.”

Upstairs, you sat on the floor with your back against the door, listening to the muffled sounds of laughter below and hating yourself because even now, even after everything, the only thing you wanted was to hear Jungwon come upstairs and knock.

The day of the party rolled in faster. You had said no to your brother. But Heeseung had the persistence of a mosquito.

“Please,” he had groaned for the tenth time, leaning against your door. “You’ve been rotting in here for a week. Just come. If you hate it, we’ll leave.”

“I do hate it,” you muttered from your bed.

“Y/n.”

“What.”

“Don’t make me beg.”

“You’re already begging.” Eventually, purely out of annoyance and not because you wanted to go, you agreed just so he’d shut up.

You texted Eunchae. Now she was in your room like a stylist, aggressively flipping through your closet. “Nope. Too sad. Too ‘I still cry at night.’ Absolutely not.”

“Eunchae—” You voice cuts in, “Nuh uh,” she cut you off, gasping as she yanked out a dress. “We need something hot. Like revenge-hot. Make-him-regret-everything hot.” She held it up like it was a sacred artifact, the dress was Black, tight, Halter neck, backless, high slit on the side.

You’re insane.” You said while staring at the dress, she narrowed her eyes. “Exactly.” Ten minutes later, you were in it. The fabric hugged every curve. The slit showed just enough leg. Your heels clicked sharply against the floor as you stepped out. Eunchae froze mid-sentence. “…Oh.” You raised an eyebrow. “What?”

She placed a hand over her heart. “If I wasn’t straight, this would be my villain origin story.” You snorted and then you laughed which startled even you. Eunchae exhaled dramatically, shoulders sagging in relief. “There she is. That’s my best friend. You look so pretty when you smile, you idiot.” You rolled your eyes but your chest felt lighter than it had all week. When you walked downstairs, Heeseung looked up from his phone — and visibly melted. “That’s it,” he muttered, shaking his head. “You should smile more.”

“Shut up,” you said, but you were smiling. He patted Eunchae’s shoulder. “Take care of my sister.” Eunchae flashed him her middle finger. “I always do.”

The party was loud, Music vibrating through your ribs. Heeseung’s friends immediately hyped you up. “Okay, who is she?” Jay said as he saw you walking towards their gang. “Y/n?? Since when do you look like that?” Jake clutch his heart, “You trying to kill someone tonight?” Sunghoon said while passing you a drink. You laughed, brushed it off, accepted the drink. For a while, you forgot.

Until your eyes did what they’d been trained to do, you look for him across the room, then you found him.

Jungwon. Across the room. With a girl. She was laughing at something he said, her hand resting lightly on his arm. Your stomach dropped so fast it felt like freefall. Wow. It’s been a week and he already replaced you?

You scoffed, grabbed the nearest drink, and downed half of it. Eunchae followed your line of sight. “…Oh wow. What a fucking asshole.”

“I don’t care,” you said flatly, rolling your tongue. She looked at you. “Yeah, sureeee.”

“I literally don’t.” You finished your cup. “He can do whatever he wants.” Eunchae nods, “Mmhm.”

“He’s irrelevant.”

“Right.”

“He’s looking at you, by the way.” Your hand paused mid-reach for another drink. “What?” You questioned, Eunchae smirked before replying. “Glanced at you like five times already.” You didn’t turn but as soon as she said it, you felt his stare burning into your back.

The alcohol started to warm your veins. Each gulp grew easier, the noise of the party soon blurring at the edges, bass vibrating through your heels, through your bones. Your fingers tightened around the plastic cup as condensation dripped down onto your knuckles.

Fine. If he could move on in a week, so could you. You let a guy pull you into the crowd. He was decent-looking, smelled like cologne and bad decisions. You danced with him, swaying yours with his. He moved behind you, hands resting on your waist. At first, it was fine. Then his hands slid lower to your hips till they settled behind and squeezed your ass. You stiffened. “Hey— don’t.”He leaned closer, breath hot near your ear. “Relax. I know you’re enjoying this.”

“I said don’t.” You tried to move forward, but his grip tightened. From the corner of your eye, you saw Jungwon, but he was alone, the girl was gone. He was leaned back against the wall, cigarette rested between his fingers, the tip glowing orange every time he inhaled. Smoke curled slowly from his lips, dissolving into the air. His gaze never left you.

Not once. He dragged in another slow inhale, cheeks hollowing lightly, eyes dark. The smoke left his mouth in a steady stream as he tilted his head, watching you dance with another man.

The guy’s hand squeezed your ass again, you shoved harder. “Let go.” You glared, “Don’t act shy now—” Suddenly his body jerked backward.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing, you fucking dickface?” Jungwon’s voice cut through the music like a blade. The guy stumbled, regaining his balance. “Bro, chill. She was dancing with me.” He clarified. “Touch her again,” Jungwon said low, terrifyingly calm, “and I’ll break your fucking hands.”

“Who even are you?” the guy snapped, trying to shove him, wrong move. Jungwon shoved him back harder. “The one telling you to keep your filthy hands off her.” Then the other guy swings his arm first, big mistake lol. They crashed into a table. Their body falling down with a loud thud as music faltered. Jungwon moved — fist connecting with the guy’s jaw.

The guy staggered, cursing, swinging once more but Jungwon ducked, drove his shoulder into him, forcing him against the wall. His cigarette dropped from his fingers but he caught it again between two knuckles, still lit. The guy cursed. “She was dancing with me!”

“And she told you to stop,” Jungwon growled. Then in a horrifying second, Jungwon pressed the burning tip of his cigarette to the guy’s cheek.

“She’s mine,” he muttered, voice dark. “Get your filthy fucking hands off her.” He pulled the cigarette away and punched him again, this time harder. The guy collapsed to the floor, clutching his face. People were shouting now…Someone tried to grab Jungwon’s shoulder but he shrugged them off. He stood over the guy, chest rising slowly, knuckles smeared red, smoke still curling from the cigarette between his fingers.

“Stop it, will you?” Your voice wasn’t dramatic, not yelling the way girls did in movies. Jungwon’s eyes lifted and locked on you. Your eyes were blank almost emotionless.

Heeseung pushed through the crowd. “What happened?” Then he saw Jungwon’s knuckles. Blood smeared across them. “…Okay, what the fuck?” Heeseung breathed. Eunchae appeared beside you. “Oh my god.”

“I’ll take her home,” Jungwon said, not taking his eyes off you. You frowned. “The fuck?”

“I’m not going home,” you snapped. “Who said I want to go home? Especially not with you.”

“She’s tired,” Jungwon cut in smoothly. “I’m taking her.” He looked at Heeseung. There was smth in his expression which was probably why heeseung said yes. “O-okay,” Heeseung muttered. “Yeah. Take her home.” Your head whipped toward him. “The fuck? I’m not going home!”

Jungwon looked at you and glared as his voice dropped lower. “You’re not staying here.” Who is he to decide that? “And you don’t get to decide that.” His jaw tightened. “He touched you.”

“So? I handled it.”

“No, you didn’t.” Your eyes flashed the second Jungwon’s fingers wrapped around your wrist. His grip was tight— firm enough to make you wince as he pulled you forward without asking, The warmth from the fight was still radiating off him, knuckles raw, jaw clenched so hard a muscle ticked beneath his skin. “Jungwon—” you tried, digging your heels slightly into the floor.

This asshole didn’t stop, dragged you through the crowd, bodies parting instinctively at the look on his face. Music thumped, people whispered, but none of it mattered. His hand stayed locked around your wrist. You tried to twist free once. It was useless and soon gave up as you were no match for jungwon. Not when adrenaline was still pumping through his veins.