♣•????𖠣

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 This blog is a virtual representation of a weird boy's mental state. It will include mentions of sh/ed/suicide/csa and more uncomfortable topics. You can block me, or you can interact, I will judge you for neither. ♣

To think I used to go back to this every few weeks during my cyclical Ank phases.

There's no one that self sabotages quite like him.

Mf's whole deal was to get a better life by moving in near the elites and doing their bidding.

Then, in our introduction to him, he tries to steal a car, only to be interrupted by like 5 people ganging up on him. And he lowk loses honourably.

Tell me why this bitch fucking insults them, while being held back by 4 and while the fifth is holding a knife. Holy fucking shit that's so dumb. And he's not even sheltered. Midas is basically the huge ghetto of that world. What is brother on.

I guess the pride got into him [literally half the shit he does is for pride, and third of what's left is for escapism. Yeah you guys can tell why I like this fag]

Anywyas keep in mind he's like.. a young teenager. Imagine you're like.. what? 14?? And you're held down by so many people, and the equivalent of the technocratic elite of all elites of your planet saves you.

Ofc, because it's Riki, he doesn't know. And if he does it's irrelevant. Because he doesn't care.

To him this is all just more weight to him. Because it's morally wrong for him. Because his mind forces him to abide by the most absurd laws known to man. So he, a teenage boy, who barely gets by, who came from poverty and is clawing his way out, who just got slammed to the ground, who left everything he knows for a better life, feels the need to "repay the debt" he owes to.. *checks notes*... Basically god's favourite.. wow okay.. nevermind HE'S LITERALLY GOD'S FAVOURITE???

Yeah uh buddy needs to repay the wealthiest, strongest, most INFLUENTIAL MAN OF THE WORLD. (That also keeps him under oppression, that commits acts of terror, the cyberpunk dystopia's second worst nightmare after Jupiter themselves, and racially ostracizes him every chance he gets....) The debt of.. stopping a guy from returning him to Midas? It was unclear for me what the intention of the gang was (I haven't read the novels yet. Leave me alone).

And worse of all, as he's fucking BROKE and nothing could even be enough from basically a serf or slave or whatever our irl equivalent of the concept of a mongrel would be, he fucking offers his teenage body for sale. Yeah. Also while having a bf at home btw. He then becomes the elite's pet, and not any pet, the most favoured coddled and most tortured of all of the pets. Like seriously. Man. What. What was the thought process.

He's so fueled with pride, rage, impulse, trauma, fear, insecurity, he's very mentally ill teen boy that's struggling with everything. He makes far worse decisions later on (most notably Danaburn) but geez

And I know how symbolic Ank is and that it's mostly a metaphor for industries and all sorts of stuff and that Riki is more of an archetype than a character even in the eyes of his author (rip ma'am, you'll forever be adored)... But I didn't know that when I first got exposed to him and was attached to him. I feel a genuinely weird kind of attachment towards him as if he's not fictional, as if he's a part of me even. I understand his struggles and while our lives aren't a 1:1 copy, I still think our main themes are the same. I feel deeply for the fictional fucker and I hope I can always access his content... At least what I can gather of it.

Anywayssss I'm still gonna obsess over my problematic doomed 90s yaoi ty!!!!!

I THOUGHT YOU DEACTIVATED AGAIN AND GOT TO SCARED AAAA

Djsjskkana I'm sorry mootie 🙏