🕯☕️

“you should be at the club” Brother I should literally be sent to the seaside for my health

please wheel me outside in some sort of straw lounge chair and just leave me with a plaid blanket

I’m increasingly worried by all the people on my dash calling themselves insane for loving stories in the way humans have loved stories our whole history. “The brain rot is spreading” — you mean you were changed by art? “I’m not normal about this” — you were moved by it? You felt human emotions about it? “I’m about to be so annoying” — you’re going to talk about art? You’re going to be passionate? You’re going to think deeply about it? You’re going to feel love for the work of someone’s soul? You are not a consumer and art is not a product to be casually used! You are a human and stories are the beating heart of our humanity! You must feel everything and you must know that it is normal!

realrealrealreal

"Sex is what makes us human" is stupid. Almost every species fucks. Humans are the only species that jumps motorcycles over school buses that are on fire. Some other things too probably

all this praise for female actors who have been hamlet onstage. well. what about the praise for ME. who has been hamlet so many times. inside my head

sand

Jeff Bezos didn’t even explode :(

look he may not have exploded in space but there’s still spontaneous combustion as an option

I am calling any head injury “Bonkus of the Konkus” from now on

yeah this style is getting really boring i would rather live in the woods

maybe i AM popeye the sailor