dude get off ur crushing him
Not today Justin
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he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
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@melzram
dude get off ur crushing him

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ragatha having a knife IN HER FACE and being more concerned about her mother was such a powerful writing decision
goose is a genius
i miss krii7y
Heās no longer a host, why keep it family friendly?
dont worry y'all he's perfectly fine and alive, he's just visiting Monika for an undetermined amount of time

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@bloob-blorbus 's headcanon that edd is the strangely photogenic one
STOP THIS IS SO FUNNY
ive always hated this particular frame of tord. put those simpsons lips away
Sword got roughed up a lil bad I think
drew out a funny interaction I had on a particularly mean server in Phighting one time

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play phighting. Please. can anyone hear me
(EDIT 1/9/2026: THIS PRESENTATION IS OUTDATED & WAS MADE BEFORE THE LORE REWRITES!!! it should still be at least halfway accurate though.)
all paths lead to you
Reader Texting Medkit : *sends a voice message*
Medkit : Im little busy , is this urgent?
Reader : Nahh donāt worry, maybe listen it later
*later*
Medkit : *press play the voice message*
Reader voice message : THERES A- *subspace ult phinister sounds*
Phighting x Reader Valentineās day special
IF TEXT IS IN RED ITS NSFW OR SUGGESTIVE
sorry for my disappearance, executive dysfunction, the day this will be posted (valentines duh) iāll be flying out to spend two days with my partner š im so excited to see them i love them so much hehehe, anyways same idea as christmas one what do the phighters do to celebrate valentineās with you?
Sword:
- I picture him as someone who doesnāt go quite all out he still wants to do something nice for you. Heād get you a bouquet of whatever your favorite flowers are and in your favorite color too (if they grow in that color). If theyāre roses he definitely cut his finger on them, heās a little stupid but you love him. While not insanely fancy or expensive he takes you out for dinner as well, he didnāt consider making a reservation so hopefully wherever he planned has room. He gets you a super cheesy card but writes a super sweet message in it which makes up for an eye-rollingly cheesy card.
- He might wanna but he honestly doesnāt care either way, if you want to heās absolutely down, if not heās not going to be sad. So itās your call.
Skateboard:
- He forgets about Valentineās until like, the day of or before if youāre lucky. So you either get a very hastily bought gift of some chocolates, or him lying that heās waiting till after to get the discount chocolates. You see through him but laugh and go along with it. To make it up to you he says whatever you wanna do for a date heās down, as long as itās not too too expensive.
- Bro is taking you to pound town. Or if youād rather take him to pound town heās okay with that too. Those were his exact words, while he didnāt/doesnāt do anything extravagant for Valentineās he is definitely down for some Valentineās sex. Itās nothing specifically Valentineās exclusive but he does want to do it for the literal holiday of love.
Biograft:
- Similarly to Christmas he has the dictionary definition of the holiday but it doesnāt know much outside of that. But similarly to everything else he would love you to explain the tradition to him more, especially in your own words and opinions. Since it doesnt really grasp the concept of gift giving you donāt have to give him anything and it might not get your anything, obviously if you wanna give him something heās not going to say no. And if you tell it that you want something special heāll get it for you.
- Apologies I donāt do NSFW Biograft stuff.
Katana:
- He would unironically call it a corporate holiday, heās that kinda guy. He is absolutely not against celebrating it he just doesnāt understand why such a big deal is made out of this day in particular, especially since in his words āI love you everyday why do I have to show it to you today specifically?ā If you want to celebrate it heāll get you something small, and take you out on a date, somewhere secluded though since he doesnāt want to deal with the big crowds of Valentineās day.
- He doesnāt care either way, itās up to you honestly, since he doesnāt care much for Valentineās itās not anything he specifically wants to do. He will though he has no problem with it.
Ban Hammer:
- Gets you the most big obnoxious gift possible, especially just to embarrass you. Like big ass teddy bear and a big bouquet. Heās a dork but heās your dork. Unfortunately he probably has to work for some amount of time because criminals donāt care that itās Valentineās so oh well you suppose. To make it up to you he takes you out to a really really nice restaurant, no reservations, heāll just use his power of being the warden to get them to give you two a table. And dinners on him get whatever you want, heās got the bux for it.
- Oh absolutely, he could barely contain himself during dinner, while nothing unique about it he just wants to since itās Valentineās and he wants to āshow his love for youā (like he hasnāt already.)
Rocket:
- He gets you something obnoxious as well, big stuffed animal but not specifically a Valentineās themed stuffed animal just a big one, maybe a shark or axolotl, who knows. You spend the day together at his place, lounging around, watching shows, making meals together, even if heās a hazard to any kitchen he enters. Itās sweet and heās very cuddly and clingy, more so than usual. Might get you a card, if anything itās homemade and actually really nice, he hates saying sappy stuff but he can put up with writing it down.
- Youāre at his place all day, probably spending the night. What do you think? 100% dude, it doesnāt even have to be exclusively at night or even in the evening, youāre there all day he might wanna when youāre both just chilling on the couch watching TV.
Slingshot:
- One of the busiest days possible for his cafe, so you probably wonāt be able to see him that day, you celebrate on a neighboring day. He bakes you a pastry you really like specifically customized to be Valentineās themed, hearts and pink and red type of thing. Gives them to you in a heart shaped box to top it all off. As for what you do when you do celebrate I think heād take you on a picnic, makes all the food, especially homemade bread to make sandwiches with and obviously pastries galore. Somewhere sunny and green.
- Yeah, he wants to say I love you in as many ways as possible, one of those being making love to you. He might make a special pastry to get you both in the mood if you catch my drift, he tells you about it though itās nothing you donāt know about.
Hyperlaser:
- Heās got work basically everyday, that includes Valentineās day. He also doesnāt see much of a point to it, he thinks itās over the top and pointless. Heās alright if you want to do something but he doesnāt really want to, and doesnāt plan anything, and unless you specifically ask he doesnāt get you something. Heās not that much of the romantic type, like a at all. Sorry you knew what you were in for when dating him.
- Doesnāt particularly want to, heās not a low libido so itās only if you really want to. Itās not that he doesnāt want to specifically he just doesnāt have much desire to.
Shuriken:
- Again one of the busiest days for the cafe, he doesnāt have much of a chance to see you. So similarly to Slingshot he instead ops to celebrate on a different day. He doesnāt really care what you do as long as you spend the day together, and he has some way to show off, heās a bit dumb but he wants to impress you as much as possible. Gets you something Slingshot baked, probably pesters him into making you something specific.
- Again only if you want to, he could but heās not specifically wanting to. Not to say heās against it but after work tires him out he doesnāt have that much energy to get freaky with.
Scythe:
- She is going to make it a day to remember thatās for sure. Robs the nicest bar she can find for the nicest alcohol one can steal. Takes you on a fancy ass date, probably held the place at gun point to get in without reservations but itās Scythe what else do you expect from her? Gets you an expensive gift to top it off, sheās got expensive tastes what can she say? Also donāt worry if you canāt get her something, she is absolutely alright being gifted something else.
- Once you get home from the dinner there is fucking rose petals making a trail to the bedroom, and oh my gods if sheās rough or intense normally crank that up to fucking 13. Bed is covered in rose petals but thereās only a 60% chance you make it to the bed before she fucking jumps you. Again if you didnāt get her anything she says seeing your blissed out almost passed out face more then makes up for it, it was the part she was most looking forwards to. Hope you didnāt have plans for the day after, she is not holding anything back.
Medkit:
- On the complete opposite side of the coin he makes no big deal out of it. While he doesnāt do nothing per se itās nowhere near fancy or extravagant. Scythe might make him work too, so heāll probably just take you out for a nice-ish dinner. Gets you something small but meaningful, no card or flowers, he writes enough for the cult- I mean church, and he thinks flowers as a gift is pointless, they wilt and die rather quickly so why bother?
- Heās tired but if anything does any up happening itās very slow and sensual, he normally is but he wants it to be especially so for the day of love. Itās definitely making love rather than just having sex and definitely not pure fucking.
Boombox:
- Bro 100% writes you a personalized love song, he probably doesnāt even release it itās for you and you only, not for anyone else. He also gets you your favorite candy, a big bag of it.
(sorry these are probably getting shorter ive been up since 5:30 for my flight. iām about to pass the fuck out)
- Yeah, he wants to for sure. Probably does something cheesy with it though, rose in his teeth on the bed, he then bursts out laughing and ruins any mood he was trying to set. But oh well you still do it and itās nice. Heās always pretty sweet in bed and especially so with it being Valentineās.
Subspace:
- Doesnāt have the day off since holidays arenāt big in Blackrock, but heāll do stuff before and after he leaves. He orders takeout from your favorite breakfast place to have together before he leaves. When he gets back he gives you your gift, what does he get you? Sorry no clue again iām about to pass out. Oh well itās nice and nothing obnoxious or something youāll never use, itās practical but nice and sweet.
- Probably, as long as itās not a bad pain day for his rot, if it is heās huffy and puffy because he wants to have sex but his condition is getting in the way. Just kiss him repeatedly and heāll melt and will stop complaining. If you do though he will be more intense with it then usual, not that hes normally gentle by any means, but he was probably pent up during work thinking about it so heās basically pouncing on you as soon as he returns home, whenever that is.
Vinestaff:
- Once again, cafe is busy as hell so youāll celebrate on a different day. She gets you a vase of beautiful flowers she grew herself, she grew and cared for them for weeks in preparation, taking even better care of them than usual. And thatās saying something considering itās Vinestaff. You go out for brunch somewhere not fancy but definitely nice and maybe a tad pricey but itās alright. Also she gives you, so so, many kisses all day, youāre going to be scrubbing off lipstick for like 5 minutes straight. Not that youāre complaining.
- I sound like a broken record but if you want to sheās absolutely down, but isnāt specifically looking forward to it, she could take it or leave it.
Coil:
- Gifts you something really nice he stole from a Blackrock noble, and a thing of assorted chocolates. Heās more boastful then usual but you know itās because he loves you and wants compliments from you in return, he absolutely compliments you as well donāt get it confused, he just is also being more self complimentary then normal. Definitely doesnāt do a card, loving words are not his forte but oh well.
- Oh without a doubt youāre fucking on Valentineās. Doesnāt even have to be at night heās raring to go anywhere you happen to be, and do not expect him to be sweet and gentle during it, he is the hellhound heās going at it like an animal. But heās super sweet and caring afterwards donāt worry.
im so fucking tired iām going to post this and then hopefully pass out, i also kinda need to pee but the seatbelt sign is on </3 , anyways happy valentineās everyone have a great day and hope you enjoyed!
I always wondered why Medkit does that queer little spin during his phinisher. And then I realizedā¦.

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i find these homosexuals extremely funny
please dont attack me, i cant fight
Subkit angst animatic