Erasing ENFJ Stereotypes
Submitted by: foreveranevilregal
Because we are not all Chris Traeger.
ENFJs are busybodies.
This one can depend on the particular ENFJ, but as a whole, it isn’t true. Yes, we enjoy helping people and we’ll check up on them, but we don’t want to know personal information for its own sake. If we ask you about a problem, we’ll be thinking about a way we can help you with it, even if we don’t verbalize it. We’re very capable of respecting your privacy and backing off if we sense you are uncomfortable.
ENFJs are not never logical or analytical.
This stereotype is my least favorite. ENFJs are able to analyze logically and come to perfectly rational conclusions. Just because we are Fe dominants doesn’t mean that our Ti lies dormant. Some ENFJs have very well developed Ti. Dr. Neil deGrasse Tyson is a great example, as an ENFJ scientist. Yes, generally we tend to be more emotional, but we can step back when the time comes for rationality and analyze without letting our feelings get in the way.
ENFJs are always bubbly and sunshine personified.
False. It’s true that we generally try to be pleasant, but we are still human. No one is happy all the time, and that includes ENFJs. A lot of the time we can hide our negativity better than most so as not to bring others down with us, but we are just as capable as any other type of becoming angry, sad, depressed, etc. And an ENFJ who’s upset is a force to be reckoned with thanks to dominant Fe.
ENFJs are naïve.
No. Just no. We can see the world around us, and it’s not through rose colored glasses. The difference is that we hope that we can make a difference and change it instead of just passively accepting it.
ENFJs need to be around people all the time.
This stereotype is a huge reason why I thought I had mistyped for over a year. Our dominant Fe is incredibly extroverted, but our auxiliary Ni is just as introverted. In order to be healthy, ENFJs need to take some time to themselves to daydream and process things internally. The amount of alone time needed varies, but it’s very important that we take time alone, especially after emotionally charged situations, in order to separate from others.
ENFJs can do it all and have everything under control.
I’m not sure where this particular stereotype came from, but it is definitely untrue. It’s flattering to think that others consider us superhuman, but we’re not. We may be overachievers and try to do everything, but that doesn’t mean we succeed. ENFJs are only human and although we’re highly motivated, we can slip up just like anyone else. In fact, we often burn out because we feel like we have to do everything.
ENFJs are all very outgoing and have great social skills.
Sociability and cognitive orientation, though fairly correlated, are not 100% correlated. Extroverts can be shy, just as introverts can be outgoing. Generally ENFJs will tend to be more outgoing, because Fe will direct us to put others at ease, even when it means sacrificing our own personal comfort, but there are also shy ENFJs, such as myself. And though we tend to be better at reading a room than most types, that doesn’t always translate into perfectly smooth socialization.
