Hairless Bear

atmoxphere

prv. 6thbaddie

😂😂😂 yo this Is my fav video right now.

LMAOOOO

“back up two feet” Lmaoooooo😭😭

lmfao

What? How you know😂😂😂

😭😭😭

i’m fucking pissed I couldve been getting free drinks at chic fil a

Leggings got me thinking I got cake when my shxt really just brownies

brownies still get ate tho

Yoooo

Wow yes

I’ve been looking for this for years

I wasn’t expecting that

A depressed guy moves into a haunted house with 7 demons, each corresponding to a deadly sin. But, they’re all trying to help him get back on his feet; Pride helps with self confidence, Lust helps him get laid, etc.

I would watch the crap outta this like wow

Just imagine the Catholic Church making a statement regarding this new tv show.

You chillin in bed with your girl. Its a regular day. Yall binge watching black mirror on netflix when you get a snap.

Its ya boy D. He sayin come to the court. Niggas wanna ball. You tell ya girl that you bout to go ball and she instantly get mad. Throwing a temper tantrum and speakin in a baby voice n shit “You always going to go ball. Why you can’t stay in bed with me?” she says.

you give her the look like bae don’t do this. She looks at you and says “fine let me go with you then.”  You can’t say no to her fine ass so you like ok cool but don’t complain. Her whole face light up like you just slid inside of her with a thousand dicks from Wakanda. Damn she really wanna spend time wit me. shawty love me. you thinkin to yourself.

You in the car waiting for her slow ass to come out. She taking all day. Then the door to crib opens and she look good as hell. Like she bout to walk the runway or some shit. She already 6 feet tall why she got on heels? Where the fuck she think yall going? She get in the car looking like Normani Zendaya Knowles-Carter.

“Nah you gotta change” you tell her. She look at you like you stupid and say boy put the car in drive. You do it but you mad. Candy Girl starts playing on the radio. You don’t know it but thats a sign, that will be explained later. You know what kinda niggas you hang around and you don’t want them to see your girl lookin like a 10 on a scale of 1 to 1 and a half.  Yall make it to the court and she get out purse in hand. You look at her and ask her “why tf you need that big ass bag? We not going nowhere plus you tryna get robbed” She look back at you and say “If a nigga tries to rob me my baby will be there.”

Fast forward. All your boys at the court but its a quiet day. Your girl in the bleaches on her phone. Yall one man short and waiting for somebody to pull up so yall can play.  Yall just shooting round looking like bums. All of a sudden your girl screams out “When yall niggas gone play?” You yell back her “We a man short. Thats why we aint start yet.” She yells back “Yall niggas trash anyway yall need to go home.” Thats when one of ya boys say you bring yo lil ass on this court then. Thats all she wanted to hear. She opens her big ass purse and pulls out some jays. You aint even know she owned sneakers.

Teams get picked and you have the job of guarding your girl so you aint gone really play hard. The game starts and the first thing one of the niggas on the other team does is give ya girl the ball. She catches it and blows u a kiss. Then she takes her first dribble to the left. You nonchalantly move to get in front of her and all of a sudden she goes to the right and you try to move but your ankle is deflated and sad looking like a used condom and you fall to the ground.

All you hear is your niggas go crazy. “Ohh shittttt niggggaaaaaaaa” You got crossed. By your girl. You might as well move out of town cuz u never gonna live this shit down. further more your ankle is broken. And when you look down you pass out from seeing the bone out in the open.

You wake up in the hospital. Your girl is there. She’s just looking at you. You suddenly remember what you’re in there for and turn your back. She jumps up happy to see you wake up. “Don’t touch me” You scream. She backs up confused. “I can’t look at you right now.” you tell her. You pull out your phone and open up instagram, that’s mistake number one. First thing you see is video of you gettin your ankles dehumanized. How tf they get that shit on camera? Nobody was even there.

You turn to your girl and say “we done.” I can’t take this shit. “fuck you mean we’re done” She says. She follows that up with  “You a sore ass loser.” and walks away. She doesnt come back to the hospital at all. Even when you get out of the hospital she’s not at home. All her stuff is gone. You realizing you fucked up.

You start listening to Akon’s Lonely everyday. You’re depressed. Theres a Progressive commercial where your girl crosses up Flo and she’s even on the Jimmy Kimmel show. You’re scared to look at her Instagram or Snapchap so you don’t. It’s been 2 months since you heard from her or your fake ass friends. Come to think of it, nobody even checked on yo ass.  You check ya boy D snap to see what he up to and him and your girl chillin in bed…

What the fuck!?!? Nah shit aint goin down like that. You bout to go whoop some ass ankle or no ankle. You stand up and immediately fall back down.  Your ankle like nah nigga you thought.  You gotta speed up your rehab so you can get your girl back.

You watching Love n Basketball. Candy girl is playing while Kyla Pratt is doing them lil niggas in. Thats when a light bulb go off in your head. you shoulda known she was bout to ball out. She damn near 6’1. Ain’t no way she wasnt on the highschool and maybe college teams.  You watch love n basketball almost everyday thinking of what coulda been if you knew your girl could hoop.

Finally Your ankle is back. And you roll up to your man D crib. You gotta play it cool. You knock on the door and your girl opens it. She in her fuckin pajamas. “So you gone sleep with my so called mans now? Is that what we doin?” Your anger already out, so much for playing it cool. “You wanted to be a bitch, so i moved on to bigger and better.” She says. You can’t help but think about Love n Basketball. “I wanna be your man.” (another song from Love n Basketball) You tell her.

She laugh in your face. This shit got you angry. “Where D at?” You ask. She tell you he at work. I’ll play you for your heart you tell her. Nigga you shouldnt have watched love n basketball so many times. Fine she says. D got a hoop in his back yard So yall go out back.

You wake up in the hospital again. You check Instagram. She dunked on you.

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

😂😂😂😂😂😂

Lmao crying.

Crying cuz u probably be crossing niggas too lol

😂😂😂😂😂

😭😭😭😭😭 😭😭😭😭😭 😭😭😭😭😭 😭😭😭😭😭 😭😭😭😭😭

LMAOOOO the ending, though.

Omfg! LMFAOOOOOO 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭💀💀💀💀💀💀💀

PART 2!!!!!!

“Peter Piper Peter Pan Dan is the Man that Can withstand. Oh woah baby don’t get hurt baby. She gone cross you baby.”  Your girl on instagram with fucking Nick and Dan. Sad thing is they had a nigga in the video that look like you. Suddenly Dan took that nigga ankle and ran tf away. They really had a prosthetic ass ankle nigga in the video. And Dan ran away with that shit.  You liked them niggas until this shit.

Anyways. When your girl dunked on you, you didn’t get injured. Your ego was just hurt. You were out of the hospital quick and fast and embarrassed. Your girl had somehow gained a quick million followers on IG. People made all kinds of parodies of you. One hurt more than others tho. It was the video of your girl crossing you over and the video where she dunked on you. They played in slow motion and it had the song from Love and Baksetball at the end, that just so happens to go “You made a fool of me, tell me why…..”

Real shit you can’t even hold it back. Tears are flowing. You miss your girl. You really want her back in your life. A week goes by and you used your vacation at work. You can’t get yourself together. Your daily routine consists of sniffing the one pair of panties that she happened to leave in the wash machine. Why the fuck you sniffin them bruh? Clearly they’ve been washed and don’t even have her scent on them. You even put them on one time, fucking hurt ass nigga. Anyways your daily routine consists of sniffing her clean panties 😒, Looking at old pics of you and her in yo phone, watching Love n Basketball, and listening to Lord Give Me a SIgn by DMX. You really couldnt just pick a real gospel song my nigga? These 2 months without her have been hell.  One day after listening to Lord Give Me a Sign your phone rings. It’s your girl….

You let it ring a couple of times and then answer it like you wasn’t just crying ten minutes ago.  Your girl sounds surprisingly humble. “How you doing” She asks. “I’m cool” You respond. Even though you know thats a got damn lie. She doesn’t waste anytime in telling you why she’s on the phone.  “I’m pregnant.” She says. “Why tf you telling me you” respond. “Im 7 to 9 weeks along” she says, which means yes you guessed it; IT COULD BE YOURS. “Oh shit” was all you said. “Yeah she” replied. “Ima get a DNA test as soon as I have it.” “I’ll be around” you reply, and she hangs up…

You’re happy as fuck. You got a reason to be in this girl’s life. And then you think to yourself “Lord I said give me a sgn, not a damn baby.” Your lights flicker and you apologize to God. Your head spinning you don’t even know what to do. You hop in your car and drive to D house. You pull up in the drive way and D and Your girl are conveniently. D has a soccer ball in his hands. This African American ass nigga aint ever played soccer a day in his life wtf? Your girl on the other hand, did i mention she was Nigerian? She loves that shit. Before you can even walk up to them good. Your girl screams “Sike Bitch!” and then D tosses her the ball and she crosses you so hard that your head bumped into the door of the truck D owns. And you wasn’t even tryna guard her…

They laughing they asses off and then she goes nah for real though I’m pregnant. D suddenly gets serious and goes “What?!?! Why are you out here running round and shit? I didn’t know I was about to be a father.” Thats when you chime in “nah nigga that baby could be mine so until further notice WE about to be some fathers.” D looks at your girl for confirmation and she nods her head. Before he could talk again you ask “did yall niggas get that whole soccer thing on video?” They nod. “Already got 33,000 likes.” Your girl says with a laugh.  You mad as shit. “Delete that shit now!!!” You scream at her. You didn’t even notice D’s fist moving towards you. “Don’t Yell at her when she carrying my fucking son!” He screams as he punches you. You out cold.

You wake up inside of D’s house. Your girl’s auntie got an ice pack on your forehead. She was always cool. You could stop by and get a meal from her house any time of the week. She was only in her late 30s and Fine as hell ran in they family. “What you doing here auntie?” You ask. She tells you that your girl and D asked her to babysit you while they went out. You get mad all over again as you realize what happened. You can’t stay mad for long tho cuz Auntie sits a plate of Gumbo in front of you and her shit taste like a popeyes comercial; seasoned, southern, and black as hell.  You eat the plate and Auntie is just telling you how sorry she is about what your girl did to you. “She wasn’t raised that way you know.” She says. “She has got to be out of her mind to let go of a strong black man like you. With your fine smooth skin, and your white ass teeth. And oh my God your body.” Auntie was licking her lips and fanning herself. You don’t know what took over you but you jumped ontop of her and kissed her. Thank the lordt she kissed you back….

Yall make yall way to D’s bedroom and you start knocking Auntie’s walls out like you a mediocre rich white person on HGTV looking to renovate a home. Her pussy was so good you swear the black eye D gave you went away. Yall kept fucking like this for a couple of months. You still wanted your girl back but the reality set in that she wasn’t coming back. Atleast not for now. One night when Auntie was at the crib, yall was laid up watching netflix like you and your girl used to do. Theres a knock at the door and you’re wondering who tf it can be at 2 am in the morning. You go check the peephole. It’s your girl. She’s crying. She knocks again and starts screaming for you to wake up. You tell her Auntie to get in the damn closet. You open the door and Your girl immediately hugs you…

She’s crying and can’t get her words out. After about 5 minutes of crying she tells you that her and D broke up.  She walks into the bedroom like she owns the place and sits on the bed. You praying to God that her Auntie just chills in the closet. She starts by saying D cheated on her. She says that he suddenly started having to work late. And he always brought home a plate from her auntie for her. You’re sitting there like 🤔intersting… She says that one night she went to her Auntie house to get some advice because she suspected D was cheating on her and low and behold there they were ontop of each other. MINDFUCK. This old ass lady got some nerve. Now you high key mad and shaking…

Your girl looks at you and asks you whats wrong? You tell her You’re just mad for her. Thats when asks the question that u weren’t prepared to answer. “Who’s purse is this?” You tell her its your girl’s purse she went to pick up a pizza and she forgot it. Your girl not buying it though. She says “I don’t believe that. Also this little girlfriend of yours got an ugly ass taste in bags.” Just then your auntie pops out of the closet and slaps your girl. “Don’t talk shit about my bag.” she says. Out of instinct you push your girl’s auntie away from your girl. “She pregnant, what the fuck wrong with you??!?!?!” You scream at her. Your girl gets up and leaves. Her auntie leaves about 3 minutes later.

Lmao u wild

This shit was a wild ride lmao where’s part 3 tho?

Lmao its coming

Oh my gosh this is juicy

The only way ik how to write it lol

*starts chanting* PART 3 PART 3 PART 3

Lmao ive died like 6 times already 😂😂😂😂😱This is skill tho! Just quit yo day job and do this.

I got no day job to quit lmao

Part 3!!!

It takes you 0.3 seconds to read the post and instantly swing on D. He had the same idea as you though and weaves yo shit. Yall squaring up right there in the kitchen. This nigga takes his shirt off cuz you know niggas can’t fight without gettin naked. And then other niggas can’t fight without crying. That’s you. The tears start flowing as you rush D. He weaving all yo shit, but you catch him one good time. Opened up his lip. This nigga feels himself bleeding and hits you 3 times in the face just from anger. That doesn’t stop u tho. You snap back really fast and yall going at it. He’s swinging and missing. You swinging and missing. He swings one hard ass time and you weave it. It made him go offbalance and he goes flying into your kitchen table. It breaks from his weight suddenly crashing down on it. D’s hurt. You grab a frying pan and walk over to D. You’re about to make that nigga go night night. He turns around and starts begging. “Please! PLEASE! BRO PLEASE.” The smile on your face gives off a sign that you don’t plan on showing no mercy. What D says next changes all of that.  “I CAN’T HAVE BABIES BRUH, I CAN’T I CAN’T, I PROMISE BRUH! I’M TRANSGENDERED BRUH CHILL PLEASE.”

You drop the frying pan and instantly get confused. “Bruh we were college roommates like how tf?” You mumble. “I transitioned in highschool man.” D looked so scared. “I felt nobody needed to know because that was my business man. Its your baby Stacy. And as far as ol girl you need to go get her. She loves you. Both of yall niggas ego’s and prides just on another level. I hope we still boys bruh. I know its gone take you some time to forgive me.” With that D got up and walked out of the door.

You break down the gar. It’s been 5 years since you smoked, but you need this shit. You so fuckin stressed. It seem like everything in your life is a lie right now.  Your best friend who used to be a girl stole your girl, well techinically you broke up with her and then you started fucking her aunt and she caught you, oh and she’s pregnant  with your kid. This shit is like an Urban Telenovela. It’s been a week since D told you his secret, Your girl is still no where to be found and her aunt has disappeared too. This weed is so good. You then smoked two blunts by yourself and you swear you hearing things now. You can hear your heart beatin n shit. Shit sound like somebody knockin at the door or something. Yo dumb ass. Somebody is knocking at the door. It’s your girl’s auntie…

“We need to talk.” She say’s to you.  You lead her to chair and wait for her to talk. “Look there’s no easy way to say this. I’m pregnant. I don’t know if it’s your’s or D’s but I’m pregnant. This weed got you fucked up. You look at her and bust out laughing. “Bitch how old you is?” You say through giggles. “You know yo old ass can’t have no kids. You bout 50 ain’t it?” You say laughing your ass off. Your girl’s auntie is not amused. “I thought you were an adult but clearly you not. And im 34 motherfucka. If this baby is yours you will be paying child support. That’s when it happened. You knew the baby was yours. There was a sharp pain in your heart and before you know it everything was black….

“Oh shit his eyes are open.” You wake up in a hospital bed. D is in the room. Your girl’s auntie is there and Your girl is there with a new addition. “Wht the fuck is going on” you say. “shhh don’t cuss in front of the baby.” Your girl says. “You had a heart attack bruh.” D says. “Yeah and when I found out I went into labor” Your girl pitched in. “I was back and forth between hospital rooms, but i supported both of yall.” says your girl’s auntie. “Can I hold the baby?” you ask. Your girl passes you the baby. It’s a beautiful baby boy with a big ass head and no neck. Thats your baby nigga. “What’s his name?” you ask. “Styrie” your girl says. You look at her like what kinda foolishness is that. She catches your look and goes “its a mix of Stephen and Kyrie cuz his momma got them handles.” Your eyes go dark again. “Oh shit we losing him!” You can hear voices faintly screaming. You wake up again and now theres nurses in the room. Your ego still hurt. She almost killed you with that shit.  I haven’t gotten a DNA test yet. I’m waiting for you to get out of the hospital. This time D dropped to the ground. The nurse got scared. “What viruses yall got floating round in here. I don’t like that.” She screamed as she started to respond to D. He was soon back to reality. Your girl looked so peaceful and happy that you decided you’d let her find out it was yours through DNA testing. Your main focus right now was getting out of the hospital.

👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 Part 4

Bravo 👏👏

Lol that gif up there has me dying

I AM HERE FOR IT

Lmao thanks

what the fuck is this?!???!!??? my god this is amazing

You usually quick to see things on my blog lol u late on this one @crmel

Bruh this is talent. Really is, but I it’s dramatic and engaging. I’m writing a book myself and I love your style

Thanks lol i want a copy of that book

holy shit you’re good

Thanks lol

Everyone was in the room. You, Your girl, Your girl’s auntie, and D. It was weird tho cuz only you and D looked content. The next sequence of events made you shut the fuck up and sit back for the ride. First your girl’s auntie got up and explained that she wasn’t pregnant. Apparently she came to your apartment that night for some dick and chickened out at the last minute. After that sigh of relief your girl got up and asked if you two could talk in private. Your dumbass sat there talkin bout some we all family in here, whatever you got to say, you can say it in here to everybody. Why aint you tired of being embarrassed in front of everybody yet?

She looked cautious but decided to say what she had to say in front of everybody. “well it’s great that D is sterile, oh my god D i didn’t mean it like that. What I mean is its nice to dwindle the possibilities of fathers for Styrie. Stacy do you remember my birthday?” She said it with a straight face. I felt like I was having another heart attack but D caught me and slapped me and said we weren’t having that this time. I was shaking. “You mean….” I mumbled. “Yes” She answered. “That baby could be Mr. Yeaaaaaaap’s” D and your girl’s aunt was confused as fuck. They looking at you like you speaking a different language. “the baby could be who’s? Nigga what are you saying.” “The the ba ab baby could be Trey Songz.” You blurt out.

“Hold the fuck up you fucked Trey Songz?” Ya girl auntie blurted out at your girl. “Yeaaaah” She replied with a sheepish grin that looked too satisfying to her. “Ok how the hell did you do that and why do you know about it Stacy?” D looked pressed. You looked across the room and then spoke words you had never spoke before. “I went to school with Trey. I wrote his first song that he went to the studio with. He liked it so much that he said He owed me a life debt. And the way that nigga’s life is he owe’s me way more than that. She love’s Trey Songz man, so i cashed in my life debt for him to have a three some with me and my girl. He was more than happy to do it. Except we bumped heads when we were fucking her and I passed out with a concussion. And im assuming that they kept on fucking even though I never thought about it.” You were mad as shit now. Thinking about it.

It just so happens that Trey was intown this weekend for a concert so you and your girl went. Front row seats because you got it like that and also your girl got it like that too. I mean how many times she then took them ankles? Anyways. Trey calls your girl up on stage because she’s IG famous. It’s clear he doesn’t remember fucking her at all. He sings to her and somehow her panties ended up on his head. You big mad now. You stayed mad the whole damn concert until after when it was time to go back stage. Security tried to stop you but Trey saw you and yelled “Staceeeyyyyyyy YEaaaaaaaahp, or I should call yo ass ankles now haha, was gud nigguhhhhh!?? Let him through he cool.”

So you and your girl spend 15 minutes explaining what the fuck happened and this nigga is too high to comprehend any of that shit. All he said at the end was “Damn I fucked crossover girl?” and then he said some shit that made both of you feel dumb as fuck, “Why didn’t you just take the test and come to me if it’s mine?” That shit had yall looking like this emoji 😅. Next that nigga whipped outa DNA test kit. Like how many girls does this nigga fuck to carry test kits. He had good shit too apparently his celebrity money had access to instant dna tests. He swabbed his gum and put the q-tip in a bag. “Call me if its mine” is all he said.

You and your girl spent hours delaying doing the dna test. Yall had been sitting at home not doing anything. Styrie was awake  and lying in his crib. Your girl had started an instagram live for the test. She had over 35k people watching live. It was the moment of truth. You swabbed your gum and Styrie’s gum and put the q-tips into the test. The baby is your’s. You leaned in to kiss your girl and she swerves that shit, leaving you to fall flat on your face. “Nah nigga whatyou think this is? You gotta earn me back.” Is what she said while your face was still on the ground. It was the worst cross of them all and 35,000 people witnessed it live…

GOOD. BYE.

Parts of this can be a applied to sugaring so I thought I’d share. Enjoy 😊

REBLOG AND SAVE A LIFE

Tumblr is the fucking plug!!!

✊🏽✊🏽🙏🏽🙌🏽

Deep thinkers have a hard time with relationships and religion.

Ugh, thisss.

^^ sometimes, I wish I could be blissfully ignorant