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Doofenshmirtz is told the truth about where Perry came from and his past with the OWCA
“You know Perry the Platypus I've told you so much about my personal life but I hardly know yours,” Doofenshmirtz said to Perry the Platypus who was sitting in a comfy little trap. Perry could get out of the box easily, he just didn't want to.
“I understand you're a secret agent and all but you know it doesn't seem very fair that you know most of my personal information while all I know is that you're a secret agent.”
Perry shrugged and cocked his head.
“What do I even want to know? Well, I don't know, did you have a good childhood?”
Perry didn't respond right away to him but he could see in the platypus’ eyes that he was thinking.
“You have to think about it?” Heinz said, perplexed.
Perry held out his hand and waved it.
“What do you mean you're not sure? You can't say for certain it was good?”
Perry shook his head. If Perry was honest with himself he grew pretty fast. He had to.
“Well can you tell me about your parents?”
Perry froze up at that. His parents? He didn't have any birth parents, just the Flynn Fletchers.
Heinz raised an eyebrow.
“I’m gonna guess they were bad?”
Perry shook his head.
“Were they good?”
Perry shook his head again.
He blinked at him, “Did you even have parents?”
Perry slowly shook his head.
His face softened a little, “Are you an orphan?”
Perry stared at the ground for a few seconds and shrugged.
“What do you mean you're not sure?? Where were you even hatched?” panic was sinking into his voice.
Perry finger spelled the OWCA.
His nemesis’ face changed from sympathy to shock, his eyes wide while he stared stiffly. He felt his heart skip a beat.
“I'm sorry, did you just tell me you were hatched in the OWCA and raised to become an agent?”
When Perry the Platypus instantly nodded his head Doofenshmirtz felt his chest ache in pain. The evil scientist stood in stunned silence for a few minutes. Perry watched him, confused at his reaction. Heinz sat down and covered his mouth, he had a horrified look in his eyes.
Perry crawled out of his box and walked up to him, cocking his head feeling perplexed by the look on his nemesis' face. He trilled softly.
“Yes, that's bad!” Doofenshmirtz answered. He looked like he was on the brink of tears. He got to Perry's level and held his tiny hands.
“Perry the Platypus you do understand how messed up that is right?”
Perry just stared at him, looking a little shocked by his reaction. Heinz gave him a sad look.
“All this time I had just assumed that you were willingly recruited to the OWCA and you had decided to be a secret agent. And now you're telling me none of this was actually your choice? Was anything in your life a choice?”
Perry hesitated before pointing at him.
“You chose me as a nemesis?” He was incredulous.
Perry nodded but also signed out friendship.
“You choose me as a friend too?” he sounded flattered but still saddened in tone.
Perry gave a slow nod with a pensive look on his face. The more he thought about it the weight of his situation with the OWCA sank in. His life really wasn't his own. His tail sank to the floor, limp. He frowned and stared at the floor.
“Perry the Platypus I had no idea. I'm so sorry. Are you okay?” he said in a small gentle voice.
Perry let out a sad whine that broke his heart. He felt Perry crawl into his lap and he pulled him into a hug. He held Perry close to his chest and felt the Platypus curl up into his arms. He picked up Perry, abandoning all of his plans and took him to bed to lay down with him. Perry just closed his eyes, trusting him. At this point he trusted his nemesis as much as he trusted Phineas and Ferb.
“Perry, are you okay living like this?” Heinz asked as he idly petted the platypus in his hold. Perry shrugged but nodded. He pointed at him.
He blushed, “Well I know you're happy you met me, but don't you get tired working for them? Have you ever considered quitting?”
Perry shook his head and pointed at him.
“Yes, I know you're happy you know me but, do they treat you okay?”
Perry sighed and rolled his eyes.
“Not great huh?”
He shook his head before he started to nuzzle up close to Doofenshmirtz and rested against the crook of the scientist’s shoulder.
“Perry the Platypus you really need to join a union or something.”
They laid silently for a long while, Perry pressed up against him, feeling his heartbeat and the breath in his lungs. Doofenshmirtz just laid there trying to make sense of it all.
Okay so my Pharmacy AU is basically a "coffee shop AU" for human perryshmirtz except Perry works at a corporate office job and Heinz works at a CVS as a licensed Pharmacist. I know it's so mundane but that's the entire point. Something like Hallmark movie level of stakes. Also this is set in 2007
Perry recently gets diagnosed with OCD and takes prescription medication. So instead of ordering coffee from the cute barista, it's Perry picking up his meds from the cute Pharmacist. After having the prescription Perry visits the CVS more often sense it's in his awareness more often.
Doofenshmirtz is a Pharmacist but he also runs the cash register and he's a shift manager, he does too much for so little and the location is pathetically understaffed. For this reason Perry always sees Doofenshmirtz there and Heinz recognizes him every time.
Perry is non-verbal in this AU. It takes a couple months for Doofenshmirtz to notice that and shows Perry he can use sign language. Which makes Perry really happy, despite his lack of expression. So they start to have small talk more often.
Doofenshmirtz learned ASL from medical school and spend a lot of time using sign with deaf patients. He was going to work at a hospital for the emergency room but his plans didn't exactly work out so he ends up working at a CVS pharmacy.
Doofenshmirtz picks up on different things going on in Perry's life from the items he buys.
Perry buys a bottle of aspirin with a exhausted look on his face and Doofenshmirtz asks if he had a rough day at work and Perry just nods. Then Doofenshmirtz advises him to take the aspirin with a meal for his headache because it'll work better with food. So Perry does exactly that and it works.
Perry comes in and buys chicken noodle soup and flu medication so Doofenshmirtz gives him a sympathetic look and wishes him a smooth recovery.
After a few months Perry develps a crush on Heinz and a sexuality crisis. Coping with potentially being gay in 2007. Great time to be gay.
One day Perry buys travel sized shampoo and toothpaste Doofenshmirtz wonders if he's going on a trip, and Perry affirms that he's going on a business trip for two weeks. Doofenshmirtz hopes he has a good time.
Monogram is still Perrys boss and he's just as unbearable to Perry as he is in canon. Trying to get the workers to believe their office is just one happy family and does little events like taco Tuesday or pink Wednesdays. But they're underpaid and Perry thinks Monogram isn't being genuine half the time. Perry works for a company that sells state of the art technology, like the stuff you see Perry use in canon. Perry works in marketing their product by sending emails and making presentations.
Perry tries to enjoy the businesses trip but it's still work. During a dinner party after the conference meeting Perry stands outside the balcony wishing he was home. He thinks about the pharmacist at the CVS. He wonders what he's up to at the moment. The entire two weeks Perry is gone Doofenshmirtz misses him.
The Big Event™ in my AU is when Perry gets a severe hit to his head outside the CVS and Doofenshmirtz with the other employees check on him. Doofenshmirtz looks at him and tells someone to grab a small flashlight to check for a concussion. And yeah he absolutely does. So Doofenshmirtz tells someone to call 911. The entire time Doofenshmirtz holds up Perry and tries to keep him calm and safe. The ambulance takes him away and Doofenshmirtz is left to finish up the work shift, not knowing if Perry will be okay. The next morning at work Doofenshmirtz gets a phone call and it's Linda asking about the employee who called 911. When Doofenshmirtz confirms that it was him Linda thanks him and tells him that Perry is doing just fine and he'll recover soon.
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When Jane has her new body they spend a week or so doing everything that they had been too big to do. She makes a pillow fort. She swings as a playground. They go to the mall with Vanessa to get new clothes for themselves. She seems more life-like and happy than ever before
Experimenting with Jane's presentation. I decided to use Factory PoMo as inspiration as it's subversive of the aesthetic that Norm was but still mechanical.
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you'll get the urge as an artist or a writer to say out loud the things you're worried about "the proportions are off" "kind of out of character" "i'm not good at summaries" "didn't get as much detail as i wanted" "i made a mistake and here's how" and that's the self-conscious part of your brain telling you "it's bad and if you don't tell them you know it's bad then they'll think you're stupid" but you've got to ignore that little voice and pretend you think it's good or else that little voice is going to ruin your life
Some of the best advice I have ever gotten was from a creative writing professor. She said never apologize for your work. Never critique it before someone else does.
Her reasoning was you are the creator. You made your work from nothing and can see all the flaws and seems and holes. But your audience may not see any of it. Maybe they will; maybe they won't. But if you TELL them about the holes and the mistakes and the problems....they will 100% see them. So don't tell them. Don't sabotage yourself just because you think you're not good enough.
Little scene I wrote for the aftermath of Norm Unleashed with Doofenshmirtz having a talk with Norm
Norm perked up at the sound of the slamming door, his creator Dr Heinz Doofenshmirtz had returned from jury duty! He didn't know jury duty could last for weeks but nonetheless he was happy they could both finally enjoy what he made together.
“Norm!” the disgruntled scientist yelled.
“Father!” He said as cheerfully as a monotone robot could. Vanessa walked in to greet her Dad.
“When I told you to surprise me, I did not mean to try and kill the entire Tri-State Area! What on Earth were you even thinking?!” he barked out to Norm.
Vanessa spun on her heel and turned back to her bedroom, “Nope. Not my problem.”
Norm stood there with his muffin tray, “I tried my best. Would you like a muffin?”
“Do you understand why I'm upset?” Doofenshmirtz snapped out with a furious look in his eye.
“Because I failed at taking over the Tri-State Area?”
Doofenshmirtz shook his head and threw out his arms, “No. No!” he screamed. Doofenshmirtz had yelled at the robot before for burning muffins and setting off the sprinklers. He's been yelled at for spilling coffee on his blueprints. But the way he yelled now had more sting and severity than ever before, “Listen to me, you do NOT kill people for NO reason!! Don't you ever try to do that again! Do you understand me!?”
“No, I do not. The reason is to assert dominance.” Norm said in a tone more brightly than it warranted.
Doofenshmirtz let out a frustrated growl, “Norm you cannot just kill people for just existing, that's just cruel.”
“But you're an evil scientist.”
“Look, there's good evil and there's bad evil, and what you attempted to do was downright terrible.”
“Well your plan is to use your foolish contraptions for whatever pathetic reason and get nothing done. Guns get results.”
He stared at the killer robot incredulously, blinking at him.
“Norm, what do you even THINK my goals are to believe that homicide is a correct solution?”
“To control the Tri State Area.”
“And you think weapons are the answer?” he said, judgemental.
“Violence is a very efficient way to establish dominance. That's why people go to War, because War works.”
“That's never worked,” Doofenshmirtz said flatly.
“It always works.”
“No war just leaves you with more problems and no solutions. Imagine having a problem with someone and deciding to make that EVERYONE'S problem. That's just stupid.”
“I just don't understand the point of wasting your time making failure after failure.” Norm gave him a bitter look.
“You really think killing everyone is the answer?”
“Yes!” he balled his fists.
“Including Perry the Platypus?”
“Yes!”
“Including Vanessa?”
Norm gave an unsure look, relaxing his posture.
“Including me??”
Norm was silent. He hadn't thought that far.
“What would you even get out of completely destroying what you want to control? Tell me Norm. If you still successfully killed and destroyed the entire Tri-State-Area what does that leave you with? What satisfaction do you get from that? Nothing! Just rubble and remains.”
Norm frowned.
“Also you were very rude to Perry the Platypus! You better apologize! You're lucky I trusted that he'd be able to take care of whatever mess you ended up making. You'll never have a real nemesis if you kill everyone who gets in your way. That's a sad way to live Norm. Nothing to fight for and nothing to fight against.”
Norm stared at the floor, trying to think of his goals and aspirations. All he really wanted was to make Doofenshmirtz happy. But if Doofenshmirtz is gone then he has no Doofenshmirtz to be proud of him. He tried to imagine his life if he succeeded to dominate the world through violence. He couldn't imagine anything else but violence. Violence and Muffins. But there would be no one to enjoy his muffins.
“If Norm kills everyone, then no one loves Norm,” said the robot.
“Exactly,” Doofenshmirtz said, exasperated and let out a long sigh, “Now if you ever make another homicide attempt I will deactivate you for good,” he walked away muttering inaudibly to himself, “I don't even know why I bother with you.” He took one of Norm's muffins and grabbed a glass of milk. Vanessa popped out of her room to grab a muffin and followed her Dad to say something to him. He saw Doofenshmirtz smiling at her and said something back.
Norm sat in his closet thinking about what he was told. Maybe homicide could never fill the empty void inside him.
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