hysteria

His gaze flickered to the guards. If Peeta wanted to hurt him, he would have let him. “I just wish I could have done more for you.” He tried to shrug, to brush off the guilt he felt welling up in his throat. 

Whilst his head ached as it tried to sort through the information, he still didn't feel any anger towards Gale. The memories he had of the man were mixed in with Katniss but Gale was never the bad guy. Ignoring the guards, he placed his hand on Gale's forearm. "Like I said, you did more than anyone else could. Thank you, Gale." 

He waited, giving him the time to let his emotions run through him. “I wanted to help them, too. I tried, I looked for them but… I can’t help thinking if I had tried harder, you’d still have your family. And I’m sorry I couldn’t help them.” 

It quickly occurred to Peeta that it was more than an apology. Gale felt actual guilt for not saving his family. Others had been remorseful and given condolences but this felt like something more. His hand moved to rest on Gale's shoulder but the guards moved forward as well so he let it drop. "Don't be sorry. You did everything you could and you saved so many." 

"You don’t seem crazy to me." He quirked a smile, if just for a moment, before it dropped, unable to keep his gaze on Peeta as he ran the thoughts through his mind of what he would say. "I just wanted to say I’m sorry. About your family."

Sounding and being actually crazy were two different things but Peeta let it slide. "What are you sorry for? You didn't kill them." It came out harsher than Peeta had intended. His hands clenched and unclenched at his side until he relaxed. "From what I've heard, you're the reason so many survived. You're the last person who should say sorry." 

"Peeta? Do you have a minute? I want to talk with you."

"Hello Gale, I'm free to talk. I'm not allowed to do anything, apparently I'm crazy." 

"They’re not even themselves. The Capitol took out who they were and shoved somebody else in, but I know they’re in there. Just like Falco was, and just like you are, and we can bring them back. Haymitch doesn’t want to be in the Capitol, Peeta. You know that. You have to know that."

"You’re right. No one wins this war. There are casualties and there are survivors, but no one wins. But if we stop now, it all goes back, like this never happened. This entire thing will be erased from the history books. The Games start again, the Capitol destroys a few more Districts the way they did Thirteen and Twelve, millions of more innocent people die. I can’t let that happen, Peeta. You used to agree."

"I'm who I want to be. Maybe you don't like it but it opened up my eyes to who you were and to what was going on. It's not all good, I know that. They killed my entire family and brainwashed me but I'm not following you like a lost puppy and I'm not going to agree to a war that is setting us up for destruction. Get Haymitch back but all he's going to do is what I tried to do. They're brainwashing him to kill you. You know that right?" 

"It is selfish of me. I can’t live without them, the way I can’t live without you. We’d be leaving them there to die. And maybe they would be better off dead. But that’s not my choice, or Coin’s, or the Capitol’s. It’s theirs."

"We won’t burn, Peeta. We’ll win this. We have to." She may not have been so sure about this, but she told it to herself anyway. What was the point, otherwise?

"So going to the Capitol and forcing them here, is that abiding by their choices or is it you choosing for them. There's no right and wrong in this fight anymore. They're both the same."

That’s a risk I’m willing to take. They don’t deserve to be there. We have to bring them back. Physically and… and mentally. We’ll bring them back. But if we leave them there the Capitol is just going to kill them, and I won’t let that happen.

"What if bringing them back is only worse for them? It's always selfish concerns with you. If they're like this... like me. They might be better off in the Capitol. It doesn't matter either way. The Capitol. Thirteen. We're all going to burn in the end."

I’m done waiting. I’m going to get them back. I’m going to bring them all back.

What are you going to do when they don't want to come? They might just try and kill you.