Wedding Planning: Where do I begin?!
ONE: CONGRATS!Â
If youâre reading this, youâre probably a friend of mine who got engaged recently and have asked me for a few tips :) The first thing to do is to pause for a hot minute and just celebrate being engaged! Thereâs definitely a âhoneymoonâ period and you should enjoy being with each other and taking this next step in your relationship. There will be plenty of time for menus and vendor payments and fabric swatches in the next couple of months!
TWO: START WITH THE BRIEF
When youâre ready to get started, hereâs a recommendation that comes from my professional event management background: create a âcreative briefâ for your wedding. You should each reflect on how you envision your wedding day, then come together and articulate a shared vision.
What is the tone and vibe you want for your wedding?Â
Pick a few words that youâre drawn to (donât worry if they might seem like conflicting words). And of course, add any that arenât on this list!
adventurous / authentic / boozy / casual / classic / community-oriented / destination / elegant / family-focused / festive / formal / freewheeling / glamorous / grand / handcrafted / hilarious / inclusive / informal / intimate / kid-friendly / laid-back / lavish / meaningful / modern / nontraditional / personal / quirky / raging dance party / refined / relaxed / religious / romantic / rustic / sacred / sentimental / simple / sophisticated / thoughtful / traditional / urban / vintage / wild celebrationÂ
What do you care about? And what donât you care about?
Rank your priorities: what are the things you care about most? Itâs equally important to think about what you donât care about, because there will be times in the planning when you will have to make trade-offs. A few items to get you started:
Time of yearÂ
Ceremony locationÂ
Reception locationÂ
Clothing: Dress / Suit / wedding party outfitsÂ
Photography
VideographyÂ
OfficiantÂ
Music (band or DJ)
Food
Cake
FavorsÂ
Flowers
DecorÂ
Save the Dates & InvitationsÂ
HoneymoonÂ
What is your ânorth starâ?Â
After the two of you have separately done the above exercise, discuss your lists with your partner and come to an agreement about the tone of the wedding and what your priorities should be.Â
As you reflect, Iâd also encourage you to come up with a mission statement that describes your ânorth starâ and guiding principles. It can be a collection of words, a few phrases, a paragraph -- whatever summarizes what you want the experience to feel like for your friends and family (and most importantly, the two of you!).
Itâs easy to gloss over this step, but having something written down was really helpful for Henry and me. We found ourselves revisiting our north star at critical points throughout the process (like before we signed our venue contract) to ensure the decisions we made fulfilled our goals.Â
THREE: FIRST PASS AT A GUEST LIST
The next thing Iâd recommend is doing a first pass at your guest list. Even though itâs hard to do (not to mention kind of awkward), you should rank people into tiered lists. This will allow you to see the baseline number of people you need to accommodate and the potential maximum number of people. Make sure you work with your families to get their input as well. We used the following descriptions: Â
Tier 1 // Can't imagine the day without; very close friends
Tier 2 // Want to have there
Tier 3 // Would like to have there [may not get invited]
Obligatory invites // people we wouldnât necessarily have wanted there, but were important to our family to include
FOUR: LET THE PLANNING BEGIN!
Now that you know what you what it to feel like and how many people you want to have, itâs time to dig into planning. Iâve created a template, but there are multiple out there ripe for the picking. Happy planning!
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Some adjectives above are borrowed from A Practical Wedding (which I would recommend if youâre in search of a structured guide)














