please stop smiling

i’m happier than ever about not being in a relationship honestly... jesus........ i don’t miss going to bed with anyone all i miss is some other forms of physical contact and even then it’s... fine i don’t miss talking to someone all day or the domesticity or being upset all the time or being scared about any number of things there’s something so nice in not feeling attached to someone in that way seriously, freeing i don’t lie awake, haunted, anymore i haven’t smoked for fifteen hours i haven’t had anything to drink for two days i haven’t fantasized about things working out for three days i haven’t let my hair be touched in a week and a half i haven’t kissed for five weeks i haven’t slept in the same bed as anyone for eleven weeks i haven’t had sex for twelve weeks