Literal convo I had last night that's been fucking me up tbh:
I asked my s/o if she would tell me if she didn't want me to talk to someone.
(That's lying, right? Not being forthright when asked a direct question?)
I told her this 'so you would lie to me?'
She said 'It's not lying'
I said 'It's literally lying. You wouldn't tell me the truth when I ask you a question, that's lying."
She changed her tune and said 'I guess I would tell you.'
I said 'Okay, so now let me ask you, is there anyone you don't want me to talk to?'
She said 'I get jealous when you about someone else a lot.'
(I made a friend & I've been talking about her to my s/o.)
I told her 'I only share that to be open with you.'
She responded with 'Its a 'me' problem. It's fine.'
But it's obviously not "fine". So my reaction; delete most of my social media. Fb & Twitter to be exact.
Because now I feel guilty for talking to people. Now, I want to isolate and not talk to anyone.
I told her I did this and she was kind of upset about it 'Why? We were having fun.'
Idk maybe because you made me feel guilty for making a friend ??? I might redownload it but not interact with anyone. Not until we talk more about it because it left a bitter taste in my mouth. I've been so depressed lately (more than usual) & making this friend has helped me not feel so shitty. Until now. Until I felt so fucking guilty for making a friend, for sharing it with my s/o.
Like, do I just download it again & talk to my friend anyway but just don't tell my s/o about my friend anymore? It all sucks. And I shouldn't feel like I made a mistake by trying to be social, something I struggle with immensely!!! AND I only got on Twitter because my s/o asked me to!! Idk, I'm just really sick and tired of always being treated like I've done something wrong.
annaxmalina
prguitarman
germansingergirl
janainaart
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theartofmadeline
2087
turnnoffyourmind
